oh wait that's not a cat

So…I can’t wait for the fic where Winston is like “TORBJORN IS ON HIS WAY BACK! And he’s bringing…an assistant?” And everyone’s super hype and then they all flip shit when it’s Torbjorn and Bastion because ????


Torbjorn: yeah and do you know how many animals I’ve had to foster on my way here? Because of it there was three weeks with a family of skunks who thought we were the greate– STOP FEEDING STRAY DOGS they might belong to someone and oh. Okay yes I’ll hold this cat where did you get this?

Everyone else: ????????????

it kind of amuses me that every time I see a victuuri angel/demon au it’s always ‘innocent angel yuuri’ and 'seductive demon victor’ bc yall are forgetting that the gpf is an actual thing that happened. I mean, sure, your little innocent angel yuuri katsudon katsuki got drunk off his ass, stripped, pole danced, seduced the figure skating legend, and then left him for months to die of blue balls bc he forgot all about it in the morning like some inconsequential fling he has dozens of

like, come on now 

  • Angus: It goes to show, you should have a little more faith in Mae.
  • Mae: Yeah, that would have been a total CAT-tastrophe!
  • Gregg: (Sarcastically) Hahahahaha...
  • Mae: But I'm feeling much better MEOW!
  • Bea: *groan*
  • Mae: Ehhh? What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?
  • Angus: Okay, that's enough.
  • Mae: Wait, I've been coming up with cat jokes all night.
  • Mae: You guys, I'm FELINE fine.
  • Mae: Everything's PURRRRFECT!
  • Mae: Oh come on! I'm just KITTEN around!
Cats the Musical
  • Jellicles: *sing about themselves and praise the everlasting cat*
  • Man Over There: what the fuck is a jellicle cat
  • Jellicles: lol we have three names
  • Victoria: yo yo im going to do some balance watch me *everyone leaves except misto* fuck
  • -
  • Misto: lol get the fuck up noob we have to invite them
  • Munku: ok so yeah we have to dance and sing and shit ok,, then we choose someone to die
  • -
  • Munku: I suggest jenny cuz she is old and wrinkly i guess lmao
  • Jenny: *tap dances with roaches*
  • -
  • Tugger: *jumps out and flaunts his mane* im so fresh u can succ my nuts (swag)
  • Misto: shut the fuck up
  • Etcetera: DADDY
  • -
  • Grizabella: wow lol good party
  • Demeter: no
  • Jellicles: no
  • Grizabella: ok
  • -
  • Bustopher Jones: hey lol
  • Jenny: thats my daddy over there
  • Etcetera: ew
  • -
  • Mungojerrie: yo we acrobats
  • Rumpleteazer: u cant do anything abt it
  • Jellicles: shut the fuck UP
  • -
  • Misto: Old Deuteronomy???
  • Tanto and Cori: Its old doot lol
  • Jellicles: oh ok we'll just wait here
  • Munku: ok can u hurry up u bag of shitfur
  • Deuteronomy: calm the fuck down im older than Queen Victoria you assholes
  • -
  • Munku: Jerrie can u get the barking right for one FUCKING SECOND
  • Jerrie: im trying my best
  • Jellicles: *barking never ceases*
  • Munku: ok lol so this robot cat FUCK OFF WITH THE BAGPIPE TUGGER
  • Tugger: *bangs out the tunes*
  • Rumpus: lol
  • -
  • Deuteronomy: oh shit
  • Munku: what now dammit
  • Victoria: lol
  • Jemima: lol
  • Alonzo: ok so we're black and white
  • Jellicles: *finally explaining what a jellicle cat is*
  • Man Over There: FUCKING FINALLY
  • -
  • Jellicles: *dances*
  • Victoria: check out my sweet moves
  • Plato: oh shit ye
  • -
  • Victoria: oh lol hi
  • Plato: wow queen, ur so beautiful
  • Skimbleshanks: god i wish that were me
  • -
  • Tanto and Cori: WHAT THE FUCK
  • Misto: yo who out there
  • Skimble: no one has time for this fuck off
  • Alonzo: *hisses grizabella away* fuck off
  • Jellicles: *butt shaking*
  • -
  • Grizabella: hi
  • Jellicles: no
  • Grizabella: ok
  • -
  • Demeter: fuck hes not there
  • Bomba: he drank all the milk dammit
  • Macavity: hi
  • Deme and Bomba: fuck
  • Macavity: *jumps out of Deuteronomy costume* rawr lol
  • Jellicles:
  • Macavity: what,, why arent u all screaming??? and begging the Everlasting for mercy???
  • Munkus: ,,u literally do this every fucking year
  • Macavity:
  • -
  • Tugger: yo misto its time to rescue doot
  • Misto: god fucking dammit *throws glitter*
  • Deuteronomy: *comes out* kill me,, let me die
  • Feyre: hey Rhys, can I ask you for something?
  • Rhys: sure babe, anything. Do you need some water, something to eat maybe? How bout a smoothie? That's kinda the best of both worlds. Do you need a massage? I'm very good with my hands hehe.Or do you need me to kill Cassian?
  • Feyre: wait what? No..
  • Rhys: cause trust me I know he can be a prick. Do you want Tamlin's wang wang cut off and sent to you in a box? Oh wait! Maybe you want a pet! How about a dog, or a cat? I'm thinking a black cat. Or maybe a bat! Well no, that'd be weird. I mean I'm basically a human bat. Wait Feyre do you think I'm weird???
  • Feyre: ...I was just gonna ask for some new paint...
the signs as things my mom has said to me
  • aries: stop spooning the dog
  • taurus: it's four am why are you watching hell's kitchen
  • gemini: put on pants, we're getting sushi
  • cancer: were you just crying? oh, wait, chris evans again?
  • leo: do you really need this much black clothing
  • libra: [holding the remote] i can't find the remote
  • scorpio: calm down about space
  • sagittarius: buy me some girl scout cookies or you're not going to college
  • capricorn: that's a cat, not simba. put him down
  • aquarius: the neighbors think we're weird because of you
  • pisces: bunnies don't play fetch

so headcanon lloyd falls asleep pretty much anywhere and everywhere, which leads to a lot of conversations like this-

jay: so where’s the weirdest place you’ve found lloyd asleep? winner gets five bucks

cole: easy, the crow’s nest

nya, snorting: thats nothing, ive found him up there three times this month. i once found him asleep on top of the table

jay: oh yah? one time i found him asleep on the training deck, curled up against one of the training dummies

zane: i once found him asleep inside the pantry. He had a cookie in his hand

kai: …

kai: my fan

nya: wait, what?

kai: my fan. dont ask me how, but one time i walked into my room and found him asleep on my fan

lloyd, walking over: hey what are you guys talking about? 

jay, silently handing kai the money: nothing 

watching the puppeteer
  • (it's been twelve years since one of these oh my goodness)
  • marinette: *playing with chat noir and ladybug dolls*
  • marinette: *as chat* i love you my lady
  • manon: he wouldn't say that
  • marinette: i mean, let's talk about the akumas lol
  • manon: i like the akumas
  • marinette: sweetie nO
  • *children playing with dolls and mari wins*
  • marinette: pull ur shit together
  • marinette: no bc u see this chat doll is my most prized posession mkay
  • manon: can i have the ladybug one then
  • marinette: i don't see why not
  • manon: sweet
  • nadja: hello my child i have returned for thee
  • nadja: oh manon, you can't always expect to win
  • marinette: wow that's some good life advice right there if i do say so myself
  • nadja: anyhoo give mari her doll back
  • manon: *manages to rip the arm off the ladybug doll*
  • nadja: gdi child let's leave before you screw up again
  • manon: *screams about dolls and somehow manages to score the lady wifi doll from mari while her mum ain't looking*
  • *at the tv station thingy*
  • manon: *playing with lady wifi doll and a freaking ladybug magazine like good lord get this child an actual ladybug doll like where is that ml merch at*
  • manon: *le cry and scream*
  • hawkmoth: aaah, what could be more pure than an innocent child's emotions?
  • hawkmoth:
  • hawkmoth:
  • hawkmoth: lol learned that one from neglecting my son
  • hawkmoth: hey there smol bean how would you like to be my new child
  • manon: sounds legit
  • *at subway train station thingy*
  • alya: LOOK IT'S ADRIEN
  • marinette: o shit waddup
  • alya: *fucking FLINGS them onto the same train like wow*
  • *meanwhile manon is being a creepy little shit elsewhere*
  • marinette: god damn look at adrien that's a fine piece of ass right there hooo boy i do enjoy looking at him
  • adrien: *waves*
  • alya: *gets transformed into lady wifi by manon*
  • marinette: o shit waddup
  • adrien: oh no one of my only friends is in danger i better help
  • *bada bing bada boom cat boy is here*
  • marinette: o boy i better transform
  • marinette: tikki, spo-
  • marinette: sweet jiminy you scared the dickens out of me
  • marinette: anyways yeah lady wifi reminded me of this one bitch who was talking shit this morning and she's tryna get my ladybug and chat noir dolls
  • chat noir: omg wait you made a chat noir doll
  • chat noir: that's really adorable hold on
  • chat noir: let me relish in this moment forever
  • chat noir: someone actually cares about me
  • chat noir:
  • chat noir:
  • chat noir: and the feeling of loneliness and utter despair is back
  • chat noir: anyways i should probably get those dolls so where do you live
  • marinette: at the swankiest bakery in town
  • chat noir: okay thanks good to know for future reference
  • marinette:
  • chat noir: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • marinette:
  • chat noir: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • chat noir: gotta blast *run runs*
  • marinette: shit tikki we gotta transform and get to the bakery before chat does or else he might find the marichat smut i wrote
  • *bada bing bada boom ladybae is here for the party*
  • *at le ba k ery*
  • lady wifi: *casually stealing dolls*
  • ladybug: hey there shitface
  • lady wifi: gdi the goody two shoes are here
  • chat noir: there's only on goody two shoes and i'm not her
  • ladybug:
  • lady wifi:
  • chat noir: geddit? because i'm literally walking sin
  • ladybug: fuking tru
  • lady wifi: *hits one of marinette's MANY MANY MANY pictures of adrien with a pause button*
  • ladybug: o shit
  • chat noir: wait are those pictures of me
  • chat noir: that means that marinette
  • ladybug: hOw StUpId cAn YoU gEt
  • chat noir: *goes to destroy the wifi signal and all that jazz*
  • *cool ass fighting*
  • *lady wifi flees*
  • chat noir: did you get the dolls?
  • ladybug: i only managed to grab mine lol
  • chat noir: *sheds a single tear* that's okay
  • chat noir: but don't let her make me a puppet, you know i like to be in command
  • ladybug: that was sinful aS FUCK MY GOODNESS
  • *chat noir runs off to detransform*
  • *sweet baby nathaneal is transformed into the evillustrator and then rogercop also but NATHANEAL YEET*
  • ladybug: *doing mission impossible stuff*
  • chat noir: *sneakity sneaks*
  • ladybug: *FUCKING WREKCS HIM*
  • chat noir: oh boy oh boy please let go of me waht did i do to deserve this
  • ladybug: lol sorry thought you got posessed
  • ladybug: *stares at chat noir's body*
  • ladybug: god damn
  • chat noir: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • ladybug: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • *children break down the door*
  • puppeteer: CHAT NOIR COME TO LIFE
  • chat noir: nuuuuuuu *leaps in slow motion to get the doll but fails*
  • ladybug: shiiiiiiiiiit
  • chat noir @ladybug: suck my ass
  • ladybug: gladly
  • ladybug: i mean YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE
  • *more cool fighting*
  • ladybug: *accidentally hits chat with her yoyo*
  • ladybug: oh my goodness gracious i am so sorry i didn't mean to no no oh boy please don't be hurt i haven't confessed my love for you yet god dammit
  • *rogercop and evillustrator show up*
  • ladybug: are u fuking serious
  • *even MORE cool fighting*
  • ladybug: *flings chat noir off of the FUCKING ROOF*
  • ladybug:
  • ladybug: ...he'll be fine
  • *ladybug is totally badass and saves the day*
  • chat noir @ladybug: fyi you can pull on my heartstrings anyday
  • chat noir: OF COURSE I HAVE ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • ladybug: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • chat noir: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • *hawkmoth screeching in the distance*

agent-of--marvel  asked:

kents lock screen AND home screen are both pics of kit sleeping on his giant russian boyfriend, who is also sleeping

n I C E

what if a rookie finds his phone and sees the lock screen and go like, “Uh…did someone lose their phone…the lock screen has like this shirtless dude with a cat on top of him…wait why does the shirtless dude look like Mashkov” and everyone else is like “Oh that’s Parser’s phone.”

Rookie: why he got a pic of Mashkov on it
Everyone else: thats his fiancé 
Rookie: !!!!!!!! 

@aprilis-filia replied to your photo:

this is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen all day *-*

I can’t believe you’ve gone all day without looking in a mirror!

@thisismydesignhannibal​ replied to your photo:

Absolutely gorgeous!  Definitely locket worthy ;P

Imagine how hard it was making it!

#1 Ladybug Fan
  • Chloe: I'm the biggest fan of Ladybug!
  • Alya: No, I'm the biggest fan of Ladybug!
  • Chloe: Oh, yeah? You're wrong!
  • Marinette: OK! THAT'S ENOUGH! You are both wrong! Ladybug's #1 fan is definitely Cat Noir.
  • Adrien: *turns back*
  • Chloe: How do you know Marinette Dupain-Cheng?
  • Adrien: *smiles* Yes, how do you know Mari?
  • Marinette: Never mind that now. I'm just sure that, if he really had 9 lives, he would spend them all with me.
  • Adrien: Yes I would...
  • Adrien & Marinette: Wait, WHAT?!
the signs as devils
  • ARIES: extra fiery. definitely has flames coming out of their skull. and other places. but let's just talk about how every time they sneeze, a volcano on earth erupts and destroys everything in its path. watch out
  • TAURUS: the actual devil. literally satan. eats wood to fuel their flames. loves being the devil. forces other souls of the underworld to carry them around on their throne of flames and misery.
  • GEMINI: the crazy devil who discovered that they have the ability to snap their fingers and turn someone into a pile of ash so they overuse this ability a lot. also known to roast marshmallows over themselves
  • CANCER: the devil that's stupid enough to go swimming and burn out all their flames and then they want someone to hug them like NO I DONT WANNA GET WET STOP
  • LEO: the devil that is always polishing their horns because they want to look hot as hell.
  • VIRGO: the whore devil. always wants their way and if ur not ok with that then go up to heaven or something. they also are the only devil with a halo, which they stole.
  • LIBRA: the fake devil omg. so fake. they use artificial fire special effects just to make them look hot and devilish. also they set cats on fire if the cat's cuter than them
  • SCORPIO: sex devil. not the actual devil like taurus but the devil's hot secretary that greets you as you enter the gates of hell. they spontaneously take off all of their clothes a lot so beware. stripper status
  • SAGITTARIUS: the devil that literally is always complaining that it's too hot but they're literally in hell so they should chill. oh wait THEY CANT HAHAHAH
  • CAPRICORN: the devil that's perfectly capable of overthrowing satan and becoming the new satan and is just waiting for the perfect moment to do so. nothing will stand in their way and if you're in their way you're gonna die and the last thing you will see is the smirk of this devil.
  • AQUARIUS: if this devil looks at you, you'll die. they have that effect on people. they have a hot tub made of water and they throw the most hype parties in hell that only the coolest devils are invited to
  • PISCES: the devil that always goes up to earth and disguises themselves as a cute innocent princess and makes someone fall in love with them and then they're like "SIKE" and drag them down to hell.
wanna chat? pt. 14

on ao3
| 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

i got my harry potter nerd on for this chapter, mostly because i wanted to write and didn’t know what to write about

also, i’m glad you all liked the previous chapter <3

dipshit = adrien
fergie = alya
no = nino
dancing queen = mari



fergie: its 2 quiet in here
time for the #discourse

no: no

fergie: shit im blanking
i need a topiC
@the babs: someone pls

no: i refuse to support this

dipshit: Anything?

fergie: yes

dipshit: Ok give me a second

no: fuck dude i just wanted a day of chill

fergie: babe with friends like us thats just not possible

dancing queen: What are we doing??

dipshit: Hogwarts house discourse

no: i cant believe i have to break up with you

fergie renamed this conversation to “hogwarts house discourse”.

Keep reading

I’m currently waiting for an episode where this happens. I’d be so happy if it did :D

This picture has a Companion Fic called ‘Akuma’: 

  • Tigerheart: I mean yeah I'm good looking but Dawnpelt have you seen Bumblestripe? There's no way Dovewing would pick me over him.
  • Dawnpelt: Really, I don't think Bumblestripe that's cute.
  • Tigerheart: Are you kidding me? Like I guess we're just fundamentally different cats I mean have you seen him? Like seriously he's probably the most attractive cat I've seen.
  • Dawnpelt: That's pretty gay Tigerheart
  • Tigerheart: I mean yeah of course it is.
  • Dawnpelt: Wait you're gay?
  • Tigerheart: Nah. Bi i think. Maybe pan. I thought I told you?
  • Dawnpelt: Oh cool.
Raven Leaving Yang; A Butcher of Blaviken Theory
External image

This theory came to me in a very unusual manner, but it may explain Raven’s view of the world, why she left Yang and why she is so feared. 


It came to me while I was playing the Witcher 3 (Which now somehow has similar tones… Not sure what to take from that) and doing a quest ‘When The Wolf and Cat Play’. During it you come a cross a village that has been completely massacred down to a little girl. Later you identify the perpetrator to be another witcher, the Cat School. This is important because in the lore, Cat Witchers are know for being hot head, impetuous and very very bloody minded. 

External image
 The Cat tells that he was double crossed by the village elder, and nearly murdered. He then proceeded to lose control, slaughtering the whole village till he got to the little girl, who reminded him of his little sister before he became a witcher. You do have a choice to either let him go or kill him. If you let him go you learn that Geralt has a similar dark event that happened to him, earning him the title of ‘Butcher of Blaviken’. The actual event is a bit more complicated but the point of the matter is that it gave Geralt a very nasty rep, making him a man feared all over in the region surrounding Blaviken.  

Now boys and girls this is where I tie it all together, I promise. 

The theory I purpose is this; what if Raven had a similar event, a mass killing or a accidental death caused by her anger? And that is why she left Yang. 

Now I hear you right now: “Well Volks,” I hear you say, “What evidence do you have that could back this up?”

Well studious tumblrite (or tumblrian… idk I’m new to this) I have three one that shows that she has anger, and one that shows that she was connected to such a dark event, which ties to why she left Yang behind.

Firstly; let’s start off with one of Yang’s traits; anger. Notice that when ever she is angry (Yangry if you will) her eyes shift red. What does this show? Well what color is her mothers eyes? Red. This shows that Raven’s main character trait is rage, or that Yang gets her temper from her mother. And we’ve seen what that anger has caused. Yang’s impetuous, punch first, asks questions later, as well as hot headed. If she got these traits from her mother, this would make Raven similar to the Cat witcher; impetuous, quick to anger, sword slashy-slash first, ask questions later. If this is the case, Raven is capable of such a thing.

Okay, so I just layed out the means, but now I’m hearing “Gee Volks, that’s quite the theory, but what evidence is there to show Raven even did such a thing?”

Well theorist I present to you my witness, HAZAH!:

External image
  Oh wait… Wait… Thats the wrong picture


One second 

rummaging through bin labeled 'Dank Memes' 

Okay! I found it here she is!:

Yep, right their, in all her memeable (Yes I know, that isn’t a word, I’m half redditor alright don’t judge me!) glory, Neo! Neo is the one (lol Matrix reference) who may actually prove Raven did something horrible. How, you may ask. Well for starters lets assume one thing; Neo is a damn good fighter. She is Torchwick’s right hand women after all. So we can assume she is a very capable fighter. The way she masterfully owned Yang on the train shows that she is a master at the art of 'Not being there to begin with’. But then Raven shows up, and things change drastically;


This isn’t just the face of someone who sees that she is outmatched. If she is Torchwick’s right hand, she doesn’t scare easy. This is someone who is staring down the devil. She not only knows who Raven is, they’ve met before. Remember the Cat Witcher I mentioned earlier? Remember how he stopped his massacre upon seeing a little girl who reminded him of his little sister? What if that same thing happened to Raven? But instead of it being of a sibling, it reminded Raven of her daughter. And Neo was the one (I CAN’T HELP MYSELF I’M SORRY!) who reminded her.

This could also explain Neo’s muteness. Elective mutism is a psychological disordered caused by extreme trauma. The afflicted person who has the condition is mute, however nothing is wrong with their vocal cords, physically. Now imagine your Neo, in her youth. Sweet, innocent, loves ice cream and has a weird thing with guys and canes. Now you hear that a huntress, a walking goddess of protection, a bulwark against the grimm, has come to your village! You are so excited! The whole village is ecstatic! But… Somethings wrong. The women she… SHE DREW HER SWORD! You watch as your friends, your neighbors, your parents, your siblings, everyone dies all around you. She stopping at you… Your left speechless, infact you’re mute. Now an orphan, and unable to speak, you eventually make your living in crime, eventually finding that guy you can work with, and work your way up. And now, she returns, that same blade ready, ready to finish what she started. You do what you know you can only do; run.

Now with that presented their is another minor thing I’d like to present; the grimm mask.

External image

Ah yes, that 'cute’ piece of head gear the White Fang are so very fond of. Now yes while hiding their identity is nice and all, why wear them? Remember that thing Blake said about why they were grimm masks? “The masks are a symbol. Humanity wanted to make monsters out of us, so we chose to don the faces of monsters.” One word stands out the most, monster. If Raven did commit such an atrocity, she’d feel pretty terrible. She’d feel like a monster. That is why she wears the mask, because she, in her own mind, is a monster.

It also explains why she left Yang behind, and for that matter, her whole 'world outlook’. She doesn’t feel as if she could be a parent to Yang because of the blood on her hands. She isn’t kind, she isn’t a good person. She is a monster. Raven left to protect Yang, from herself. 

That my friends is my very humble theory as to why Raven left Yang.   

Sorry if that was a bit rant-y, I’m writing this at 1 am so bare with me ^^;

What probably happened before "Gem Glow"
  • Sapphire: Oh no.
  • Ruby: What's wrong, Sapphire?
  • Sapphire: They're discontinuing Cookie Cats!
  • Ruby: WHAT!?! THOSE ARE STEVEN'S FAVORITES!!! We have to do something about this!
  • Sapphire: *looks further into the future* I see that Cookie Cats will return.
  • Ruby: YES!
  • Sapphire: But not until February.
  • Ruby: THAT'S NOT SOON ENOUGH! He's a pet for your tummy and he left his family behind, Sapphire! Wait, I HAVE AN IDEA!
  • Garnet: Gems! We have a new mission of utmost importance!
  • *later, during the episode*
  • Amethyst: We went out and stole a bunch!
  • Pearl: I went back and paid for them.
  • Garnet: The whole thing was my idea.