oh theseus

asktheseusscamander  asked:

An owl lands next to Newt, a red envelope in its beak. The owl drops the envelope when it begins to burn, suddenly bursting into flames, starting to scream, ‘NEWT, I MISS YOU DEARLY, WE NEED TO MEET UP! PLEASE, LITTLE BROTHER, I NEED YOU, NEED YOU SO MUCH! I WANT YOU TO HUG ME! I LOVE YOU!’

… Right.  Do any of you happen to work in the Ministry?  The Auror department, perhaps?  I think my brother may have had a bit too much to drink tonight.  It would be much appreciated if someone could check up on him.  

I think I’ll just… floo over to his flat, see if he’s home.

@asktheseusscamander

Everyone, I present to you the Neko Fantastic Beasts Au no one asked for.

So, in this universe things in the Wizarding World are still pretty regular - of course if regular means growing up among dark wizards and enchanted pottery, duelling with magical and hot-tempered wands and, you know, being wizards. The only true difference is, this kind of magic sort of springs from nature - from the darkest, deepest, wildest corners of our soul: the kind of willpower and sheer, fierce strenght that prevented us from getting eaten (at least too often) by saber-toothed tigers and giant bears. This primal power leaves a mark on the ones it chooses: a living, buzzing reminder of where their magic comes from, of how closely related to the creatures fretting and scampering at our passage we really are. We were animals, preys, we are, and we’ll always be.

That’s why every magician, every witch and every wizard sports the ears, the tail and the quirks of a specific animal. And boy if it makes things fun.

The choices are potentially endless, the reasoning behind said choice extremely obscure: does a certain animal-pattern pass through generations? how can a baby with tiger features be born in a family of Bunnies? Has it something to do with your family, your temperament - your fate? No one knows for sure. Your guess is as good as ours (and by “ours” I intend the opinions of some of the greatest scientific minds of the magical community, who have - very literally - fought tooth and nail over this for the past thousand years.)

However, your average wizard does not get his pants in a twist over this: he simply knows that magical kids can greet the world with a meow or a roar, that calling people Bunnies or Tigers or Cats is considered improper but pretty everyone does it, and that Cats are usually pricks. Simple facts. Wizards and witches can hide their animal features with charms or glamours (often provided by goblins at outrageous prices), so they could stay roam around the Muggle world without making to the headlines of every trashy magazine in the country, but in their houses and their offices it’s all a mess of tails and twitching whiskers and disconsolate howls (especially on Monday mornings). Pretty, Mouse-like secretaries munching nervously on the reports they’re supposed to work on when they’re stressed. Cat white-collars sitting on their tails not to show how fucking annoying their colleagues are being. Tiger teachers scaring the daylights out of their pupils everytime they growl in exasperation. And, well, it takes some time to get used to people with chamaleon eyes and whiskers but… eh, you get around it.

So you can imagine Jacob Kowalski’s facial expression when his sweet Queenie - who has already consumed his longlife amount of amazement with her being a witch - finally shows him her adorable round, orange-gold ears and her black-striped tail. He’s delighted, by the way. And when she jokingly purrs a “roar” in his ear in true tiger-fashion, Jacob actually forgets out to breathe.

People tend to forget nature has provided Tina Goldstein with wolf blood; probably because her ears are always pressed tight against her hair, quivering and doubting when her treacherous heart feels totally inadequate and has no idea what to do. Anyway, it’s a grave mistake - unforgivable, actually. Because Tina is wolf, and has claws, has fangs - and when you finally remember that humans have feared wolves for centuries, it’ll be already too late.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Can you please write a fanfic about Tina meeting Newts family for the first time? She usually is very confident and brave but when she has to meet Newts Parents she is very nervous.

I started a draft of this way back in December but kinda forgot about it? I’ll try to finish it for you, anon! :)

(I’m going to have to recharacterize Theseus though oh my goodness)

anonymous asked:

I'm sick from work today and I just read every single post in your goldgraves tag and am overcome with feels! You write them so well together, I'm a sucker for angsty sexual tension! Hope you have an awesome day :)

Aaaaah THANK YOU SO MUCH ANON!! I’m so happy it made your day! :D

And you make me want to write some goldgraves…. I mean, imagine it’s the real Percival Graves. Imagine Picquery orders him to “dispose” of Tina and Newt because of international politics. It’s so hard to look at Newt in the eye. He looks so much like Theseus and- oh god what will he tell him? And Tina. Sweet, sweet Tina. His protégée. His pride and joy. His love. There’s a lump in his throat, he feels sick. Percival doesn’t know how he manages to get the words out so calm and composed. He almost breaks when he sees Tina’s face, when he hears her cries. Percival storms out of the room and throws up in a corner of a corridor. 

A weight is lifted from his heart when he learns they have escaped. He could cry from relief. Never again. No matter what, he must never ever compromise on his belief and conscience. He must find them and help them before Picquery does. Percival will not let Tina pay for his weakness again.