oh the things my boyfriend says

Some of the best things I’ve heard in Heathers rehearsal so far:

  • “Oh no! My shirt, where’d it go?” followed by really slow and awkward finger guns
  • “Free pizza, and we don’t even have to buy it a pussy!”
  • “Those stupid tree thumpers”
  • *dramatically pirouettes and leaps in* “BIG SWORDFIGHT IN HER MOUTHHH”
  • “Aww that seems like a relationship that would last.” “Yeah until one of them blows up” “I guess you could say their love is….. explosive”
  • *Our choreographer screaming like one of those sheep used in parodies back in vintage youtube days whenever she gets frustrated or needs to get people’s attention.*
  • “So you’re going to do a Jesus lift” “A WHAT” “Just put your arms out and they’ll lift you like you’re Jesus resurrecting from the cross”
  • “Welcome to Newsies on steroids.”
  • “Be the closeted gay we all need.”
  • “The first step to any good plan is murder.”
  • “How much bitch is enough bitch though?”
  • “Imagine having to explain to someone like ““oh how’d you break your tailbone?” ““Oh I booty-popped too hard.”” 
  • “When we go off to makeover Veronica, can she still have the monocle, but, hear me out, it’s now bedazzled.”
  • “I have to check the historical accuracy of bedazzling in the ‘80s.”
  • “Okay, but what if we made it gay?”
  • “COSTUME NOTE: SOMEONE MAKE RAM PARTY SLIPPERS!” “What if they’re like bunny slippers, but with tiny party hats?!”
  • “This is Ram, he’s not very nice, but somehow my best friend still wants to fuck him.”
  • “Your whole bio better be about how much you love and respect women or else I can’t help you when your ass is being kicked.”
  • “I paired you guys together because you say he’s your sort of boyfriend later.” *Kurt proceeds to emark in various sexual dance endeavors with multiple other women* “That’s where the sort of comes into play….”
  • “SHUT UP HEATHER” *bursts out crying*
  • Our original Chandler dropped out so our original Duke got promoted to her role and just looks at me and says “Oh my god this is the most Heather Duke thing that has ever happened to me”
  • “That’s a school cheer?!?!”
  • “Real question: WHO HAS A FUCKING LOCK ON THEIR CLOSET?”
  • “What if when she makes you spit up the pills, your wig flies off?” “Oh no you’ve discovered the real reason behind my crisis, I AM NOT A NATURAL BLONDE”
  • “Maybe he should take up knitting or something as a hobby rather than therapedic murder.”
  • “The saddest thing is that’s not even 3rd base”
  • “Veronica, you’re soaking wet!” *cue our assistant stage manager loosing her shit*
  • “My character description is just internal screaming.”
  • “Who needs a dance partner when you have weed?”
  • “I feel bad having to ask but was that supposed to be a dick joke?”
  • “Do I get extra points if one of the pills hits someone in the face?”
  • “I can’t remember the lyrics but I’m pretty sure I’m still gay”
  • “Why didn’t they just throw the bomb and run or something, like why are they so determined to die?” 
  • *recites Blue Reprise as demonic slam poetry because we didn’t have rehearsal tracks yet*  
  • “Veronica, it’s not a phase. I’m just naturally a slightly psychotic bag of angst with great hair.”
  • *music director teaching us Blue* ”They’ll curl up on your face. And purr like-” *slowly looks up from music and proceeds to put his head in his hands* “There’s moments that I evaluate my life and this is definitely one of them.”

And we’re still about 3 weeks from tech week

good boys loving boys things:

-sharing all your clothes

-the warm feeling of hearing him say “my boyfriend” and thinking “oh, that’s me”

-accidentally getting the same haircut

-being unafraid to be gentle and soft with each other 

-feeling secure and handsome because he looks at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen 

-hearing him whisper “im so gay” 

-having people call you “friends” and giving each other The Look™

-cuddles

-understanding each other in the midst of a world that doesn’t understand you. 

i found this post in my drafts and have ZERO memory of writing it (thank u alcohol) so im gonna put it in my queue lol
  • ok but imagine 
  • Bitty comes out to his parents but he doesn’t tell them about Jack, thinks it’s for the best, maybe to ease his parents into things or maybe to keep the pool of People Who Know as small as possible 
  • and like yeah Ransom and Holster are super oblivious but Suzanne Bittle is not, not when it comes to her son, because she is a certified Nosy Southern Mother and she can see he’s been acting differently, happier but quieter, always on his phone and blushing when she asks about boys
  • and he talks about the team a LOT 
  • Jack’s one of his best friends and he’s just started his NHL career, so of course Bitty’s never gonna shut up about Jack
  • (Same goes for Shitty and law school. And eventually Ransom and med school. Dicky is proud of his friends and wants everyone to know. He gets that trait from Suzanne, she understands)
  • but he keeps talking about this one Boy, how sweet he is and how his smile is like a sack of puppies and how bitty’s always making this boy do things with him like baking and getting froyo and going shopping and Suzanne is like. Yes. This must be Dicky’s secret boyfriend. 
  •  the next family weekend or whatever, Suzanne demands to meet this Chowder boy who’s stolen Bitty’s heart
  • Bitty is both confused and mortified

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NHL!Bitty, Part IX - ‘Loose Lips Sink Ships’

(Alright, you guys voted for #2, so enjoy!)

Eric gets hit on in a hotel bar during All-Star weekend. For the first time in a long time, it’s not because he’s a famous hockey player.

It would be very flattering, except the man trying to seduce him works for Jack’s PR firm, and bro is playing fast and loose with some seriously confidential information. 

NHL!Bitty Masterpost!


It’s been a long, exhausting day. Between the flight, check-in, the press junket, the photo ops, all Eric wants is to get a little bit drunk with the guys, grab some dinner, and fool around in Jack’s hotel room. Hopefully in that order, but he’s open to fooling around whenever.

He must have a dopey smile on his face thinking about the debauchery he’s been looking forward to all week when he realizes someone is watching him from across the bar. 

Tall, nice hair, professional, and he’s looking at Eric, no, at the empty chair next to him. And he’s walking over. 

“Is this seat taken?”

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hugealienpie  asked:

I see prompts are open yay! Please tell me all about Ford finding out about Bitty and Jack.

Ooh, this is interesting, because I don’t feel like it’d be an announcement, but just something Ford finds out when Jack visits or the like. I mean, it could go the other way, like Lardo could be, “heads up, Bitty’s dating our ex-captain” and Ford would be like, “okay? why are you telling me?” (She’s a theatre background, what is a Bad Bob to her?) I think she’d be pretty chill with it, and coming from theatre, like being gay is not an issue, esp in college (and even at the professional level) and esp if we go with the oft reblogged “Ford is gay” headcanon.

But here is a small fic that is only half based on the above…

Ford double checks the dozens of pages Lardo has given her for the upcoming roadie. She thought dealing with dressing room allocation was hard (and it is, one hundred percent) but figuring out room allocations is somehow worse, particularly when she’s new, and hockey players are more superstitious than the girl who played Johanna in Sweeney.

“So, who was it I’m meant to pair Oliver with?” Ford asks, grabbing for the red pen she’d stuck into her bun earlier. She comes out with a green one. It’ll do.

“Wicks. But really, he’d be fine with any of the guys in his year.”

Ford makes a note on one of the pages. “Okay, then I think I’m–Oh, shit.”

“What is it?” Lardo looks up from her sketchbook.

Ford double checks through all her sheets before she says anything. She’s not worrying, because there’s no time for that, she’s just already hating the amount of extra work she’ll need to do to fix things.

“I’ve left Eric, um, Bitty,” Ford corrects herself, still getting used to hockey nicknames, “off the rooming list.”

“Oh, that. Nah, you’re good.” Lardo goes back to her drawing. “He stays with his boyfriend when we’re playing up there.”

“Boyfriend?” Ford double-checks.

“Yeah. He’s in Providence. And he’ll drive Bitty to the games and practices and stuff. Should’ve emailed you that. My bad.”

“That’s fine.” Ford grabs another pen from her hair, forgetting she already has one in front of her. It’s red this time. “Just thought I was going to have to redo an entire afternoon’s worth of work.”

“Right,” Lardo says. “I can see why the minor freak out.”

“Excuse you, I did not freak out.” It’s half a lie. Ford has so many notes on these sheets, but she’s not freaking out, she’s managing. It’s all part of it.

Lardo looks up and smiles at her. “Knew you’d be fine at this.”

Ford takes the compliment with a gracious nod, and goes back to ticking off the rooming list against the team names. All accept Eric.

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Ever since the last Jedi trailer came out, I’ve been trying to think of Deep Good Meta to contribute to the Star Wars fandom but literally all I’ve got is:

Rey standing out in the rain. Luke asks her what she’s thinking. Rey closes her eyes. “I am going to have sex with my boyfriend in the rain,” she announces.

“Oh,” says Luke, who was maybe expecting something about feeling the flow of the Force, but he’s adaptable. “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”

“I’m going to go ask Finn to be my boyfriend and then we are going to have sex in the rain.”

Luke nods. “A sound plan.”

Personality wise, Rey has perhaps one of the firmest chins he has ever seen, second only to his sister which is a thought Luke promptly pivots away with a Jedi master’s aptitude for resolutely not thinking about things and calling it meditation.

Rey raises her firm chin yet higher. “We’re going to do all the sex things in the rain.”

“I’m very happy for you,” Luke says with complete honesty. He’s happy for Finn as well, if a little concerned he should give the boy a head’s up. Rey grins at him. Luke doesn’t grin back but mostly because he’s still trying to be stern as a teaching technique so he doesn’t get attached.

He’s aware, by the way, that he’s failing.

Pushing that thought aside (he’s very good at that these days–it’s a very quiet island, it doesn’t offer much options for hobbies besides ignoring thoughts and brooding on them and occasionally fishing), Luke asks, “You do know what you need to know?”

“What, like how to do it?” Rey asks. She wrinkles her nose. “Yeah. Of course. Sort of. I’ve done it before, loads of times.” There’s a very thoughtful pause. “There weren’t many humans in Jakku,” she says, a little worry slipping into her voice. She furrows her brow. “But I figure humans, you know, other humans–it’s basically the same but with only the four limbs. Less slime. And no scales?” Luke gets the impression she didn’t mean that last part to be a question.

And because she’s a student, a young student, his only young student and fellow human on this island whose population has suddenly skyrocketed to four, he does not say what he’d say to a friend and peer, which is, “honey you can’t make assumptions like that, you would not BELIEVE what people with dicks have done to modify them.” Instead, because he’s a mature teacher who is frantically relearning how to be that to the hungriest student he has ever met, Luke says, “I can’t vouch for Finn’s situation. But I’m sure you’ll have a very good time.” After Luke discreetly passes her a few anatomical drawings, just to be on the safe side.

jenny💁darling💕you’re my best friend👯but theres a few things you dont know of❔👀why i borrow your lipstick💋so often im using your shirt👚as a pillow case🛏️i wanna ruin👊our friendship👯we should be lovers👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩instead i dont know🤔how to say🗣️this cause you’re really my dearest friend💜 jenny💁darling💕you’re my best friend👯ive been doing bad👎things you dont know🤔about stealing your stuff💄👡💅now and then nothing youd miss but it means the world to me💖 i wanna ruin👊our friendship👯we should be lovers👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩instead i dont know🤔how to say🗣️this cause you’re really my dearest friend💜jenny💁take my hand🖐️we are more than friends👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩i will follow👣you until the end  jenny💁take my hand🖐️i cannot pretend🤡why i never like your new boyfriends👫oh your love for them wont last long😜forget those amigos🧔 oh your love for them wont last long😜forget those amigos🧑forget those amigos👨‍🌾🧔👦👫 i wanna ruin👊our friendship👯we should be lovers👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩instead i dont know🤔how to say🗣️this cause you’re really my dearest friend💜 oh your love for them wont last long😜( we should be lovers👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩instead) oh your love for them wont last long😜 (cause you’re really my dearest friend💜) jenny💁…….

2

DUMP HIM

DUMP HIM AND RUN

DUMP HIM AND RUN NOW

DUMP HIM AND RUN NOW AND DO NOT STOP

DUMP HIM AND RUN NOW AND DO NOT STOP OR LOOK BACK

Edible Arrangements

(Hilly knows a couple things as a tadpole. He knows there’s probably a lax bro hitting on him, and that Bitty’s super-secret boyfriend may or may not be a middle-age lumberjack sugar daddy.)


Hilly knows a few things about Samwell’s hockey dynamics. He knows he is a tadpole; he initially expects to be hazed to the ground and forced to eat dog food or something like his roommate, who is currently rushing a frat. He expects the Haus to be dirty and filled to the brim with red cups and sticky floorboards. He also knows not to hang out with the lax team because Ransom and Holster said so, even though a cute boy who he thinks is from the lax team winked at him in his Intro to Anthropology class. He knows that NHL’s very own Jack Zimmermann, son of ‘Bad Bob’ Zimmermann and legendary hockey extraordinaire, is a Samwell alumni, and had slept in the very room which Chowder, their goalie, currently inhabits.  

But Hazeapalooza turns out to be nothing as bad as he expects (he even gets homemade pie out of it, even if Holster gives him the side-eye). And the Haus is cleaner than a sports frat house should be. The hockey team is nice (and surprisingly socially aware) and Hilly likes Samwell fair enough, but he misses home sometimes.

But Bitty makes things better. Hilly likes Bitty a lot. He likes hanging around the Haus and watching Bitty roll pastry dough with a practiced, methodical hand because it reminds him of how his mom used to bake cookies for him and his sister. Bitty doesn’t mind too much (he thinks) that Hilly may want to go on a date with a lax bro. Bitty bakes him peach cobbler with crumbles toasted a golden brown and talks about his family’s jam recipes. Bitty is open and warm and welcoming. However, the one thing Bitty doesn’t talk much about is his boyfriend.

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the switch

→scenario: You think you’re getting a normal Christmas present from your boyfriend Hoseok, but what he doesn’t tell you is that your gift includes a special power he and the rest of the boys have, enabling them to switch off between one another… during sex.

→pairing: bts | reader

→genre: smut

→word count: 9,085

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sex bomb

Harry works at lush and you’re a writer 

masterlist x

a/n : I hope you guys really like this story. I worked really hard and this story means a lot to me. So if anything I would really like some feedback and what you guys think of it. Thank you

 Today wasn’t the best day of work, sitting at a desk all day and answering phone calls from very impatient rude people isn’t fun. When I drive out of the parking lot and onto the road my mind starts to check off the list of things I have to do when I get home. Cook dinner, feed the cat and do the laundry. Right before I get on the freeway I decide to stop by the little strip mall that is right across the street. I turn and pull in and park right in front of 7-Eleven, I decide to grab myself a treat just to maybe calm my nerves a bit for the rest of the day. I walk out and jog up to the front door, I yank the door open and stride right up to the freezer. I looked at all the types of ice cream bars they had, Snickers, Twix and Hershey. I decide to get a Snickers bar and pull it out of its case. I walk through the aisles searching for anything else that may grab my attention. I decide to not get much more and head up to the front counter to pay for everything. The cashier rings everything up and I hand him the money, he hands me my bag and say thank you. I reach for the door and walk out to the sidewalk, i start to walk to my car when I look to my left and notice a wonderful smell coming towards me. I decide to have a look and to see where it is coming from. When I start to walk and notice that it is coming from this one store that is called lush, never heard of it before. I walk in and decide to have a look around to see what they have.

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TalesFromRetail: When a customer interaction leaves you at a loss for words

So this is possibly the weirdest customer interaction I’ve ever had, and that’s saying something.

Today I was closing my department (produce). I saw a woman at the end of the table I was conditioning, who kept looking in my direction. I looked around but there was no one behind me. Not sure if she needed help but not wanting to ignore her if she did, I walked over and asked “hey do you need help?”. She looked a little confused and said she didn’t. Guess she wasn’t trying to get my attention, awkward, but it happens all the time so whatever.

I said “oh sorry I thought you were trying to ask a question!”. I turned to walk away but she gave me a soul piercing glare that took me off guard. She scoffed loudly, then said “I’m pregnant” in an alarmingly pissed off tone, while patting her stomach. I was not expecting that response at ALL, so I stuttered for a few seconds and managed to say “o-oh… okay”, my Customer-Service-Persona™ totally blown away. She replied “YEAH, that’s a thing” in this unnerving calm-but-furious tone. I nodded my head not really sure what else to say, and walked back to what I was doing.

I started working again but I could feel her eyes on me. I looked up and saw she had met up with who I assumed was her boyfriend, and she was talking to him and pointing to me. I thought “oh great, this is how I die”. After thinking of how lame the headline “retail employee assaulted by customer’s angry boyfriend” would be, I looked up and realized they were gone. Couldn’t see them anywhere. I breathed a sigh of relief and kept working.

Now here’s the best part. When I was done closing my department, I went back to the stockroom to tell the manager on duty that I was leaving. I casually told him about the weird interaction I had, thinking he’d get a kick out of it.

After I told him he said “wait, was it the shorter one with the boyfriend?”. I said yes, actually, it was. He then told me “I actually kicked her out of the store a half hour ago cause she threatened to kill an employee”. I was totally stunned, but it definitely put her anger and strange responses in a kinda terrifying perspective.

So I guess here’s to hoping she doesn’t come back again and remember me and whatever I did to offend her :)

By: CowardAndAThief

panicatthe-bands  asked:

Hiiii! Could you do #78 please??


I’m working on these at a snail’s pace. Anyways I hope you enjoy it! I had a lot of fun writing it. Here’s #78: “That’s my shirt. So is that…wait?”


Stiles was the best.

Of course that was subject to opinion, but to him he was the freaking best. Ten out of ten the best friend, the best son, and especially the best boyfriend. Oh yeah that was also a thing too; he was the boyfriend of Derek Hale. The Adonis-like body, the chiseled cheeks graced with perfectly trimmed stubble, the incredibly smart and closeted jokester/nerd, the Derek Hale.

So when Stiles says he’s the best it’s because he didn’t tell Derek he was coming home from George Washington a few days earlier than planned. Oh yeah, surprise visit, probably the best idea since the whole panties thing they discovered…but that’s a story for another time.

This is how he found himself creeping up the stairs to their apartment after the longest three and a half hour drive from DC to New York ever. Even his constant music and finger drumming couldn’t distract him long enough to keep his mind off the time. It’s late; which is probably for the best since the more tired Derek was the less he used his senses, plus New York was naturally loud so the chance of blowing this too early was slim.

The chance of other forms of blowing were pretty high.

Stiles grabbed his keys, sliding them in the lock of their door as quietly as possible. The grinding of the key sliding through its riveted slot was loud and he almost wanted to scream in frustration but that would definitely give him away. Instead he huffed quietly and shoved the door open, toeing off his shoes on the mat before shuffling through the entrance to the open concept living area.

While there was no sign of Derek, the place was a mess. That was weird because Derek was such a neat freak; however blankets of all kinds were splayed about, the sink was piled with dishes, the stove top was full of crumbs…

The only thought running through Stiles’ mind was ‘what the everloving hell is going on?’.

He set his duffel bag on the couch as well as his computer bag, crossing the way to the small hallway that lead to the bedroom and bathroom. The door was cracked open slightly with soft yellow lighting pouring out. Stiles pushed the door open only to see the softest version of Derek he’s ever seen.

The socks on his feet are mismatched, he’s wearing the sweats with the holes in the legs and the sweater with the thumbholes, his hair all tousled and soft against his forehead. Stiles didn’t take out his phone despite the overwhelming urge to. This was an intimate moment and saving it on a camera felt wrong in a way.

Stiles walked over to the edge of the bed, his hand not even touching Derek before a strong grip wrapped around his wrist a tad too tight. Blue eyes flashed at him before fading quickly to reveal surprised green-ish ones.

“Hey, surpri–whoa!”

Suddenly his world was flipped, his hip smashing painfully with another as he was pulled onto the bed. Strong arms wrapped around him and held him impossibly close, a face nuzzling into his neck and making him laugh. The stubble….well beard now, tickled the hell out of him.

A possessive growl –that went straight to his dick if Stiles was being honest– echoed through the room and against his skin.

“You’re back early,” Derek said after a moment.

Stiles pulled back a little, looking his boyfriend in the eyes, “I wanted to surprise you?”

Derek still looked taken back, his mouth parted with his teeth poking out a little. This warm, bubbly, fuzzy feeling rose in his chest and suddenly he couldn’t help but lean in and kiss that shock right off his boyfriend’s face. The slight chapped feeling of his lips juxtaposed the softness of Derek’s, their noses brushing against each other’s ever so lightly every now and then.

When they pulled back Stiles finally noticed Derek’s pillow.

“That’s my shirt,” he said blankly, sitting up a little to see it better, “so is that…wait? What?”

Derek’s face went up in flames, the tan skin suddenly dark with red flush. Stiles didn’t need the gift of lycanthropy to see the embarrassment roll off the older man in waves. Under and around Derek’s pillow was his old Beacon Hills high school hoodies, a few of his graphic tee shirts, and basically anything and everything Stiles wears often.

It clicked in his head then.

“Ummm–”

“You missed me,” Stiles deadpanned.

Derek frowned, “Stiles…what? Of course I did.”

“Well duh…I just…you went as far to be with my scent,” Stiles said, motioning to the pillow.

“I always want to be with you and your scent,” Derek said, holding Stiles closer.

A grin spread across his face, “well that’s reassuring. I’d be worried if you didn’t.”

Derek took that as a cue to nuzzle his face back into Stiles’ neck and chest, scenting him immediately. Stiles laughed softly, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend tightly, letting the wolf take what he needed.

“I’m glad to be home,” Stiles said after a while.

Derek paused, looking up, “…home?”

“Once again duh, you’re my home.”

If Stiles took an extra week off school…well it was worth it if he got to stay with Derek, his home.


ASK ME A PROMPT FOR THE DRABBLE CHALLENGE!

Little One

Reader x Kol Mikaelson

(NOT MY GIF)

*Requested

Word count: 2114

Imagine: being Damon and Stefan’s little sister and having to tell them you are dating Kol Mikaelson.

Being a Salvatore had its perks and, mostly, it was great to have caring and loving siblings. Of course, as you were the younger one and a girl, Damon and Stefan felt like you were, somehow, weaker than them and needed their full protection on every decision you made. Those kind of thoughts annoyed you deeply and it was exactly what drove you to run away from them, disappearing for a few decades. It was for your own sake and you did not regret it for one minute.

“So, mind to tell us where the heck were you last night?” Damon asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Out with a friend.”

“Y/N, you know it’s dangerous out there, especially with the Originals in town.” Stefan reasoned with you.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine and I’m surely not scared of them.”

Your brothers did not know, but you had met the Mikaelsons years ago and grew very close to them, especially to the younger one: Kol Mikaelson. You and him dated for a while, enjoying the pleasures of being wild vampires in the twist of the millennium. It was a brief relationship, though. He disappeared without any explanation and left you heartbroken.

“You should.”

“Don’t worry about me, sweethearts.” You laughed. “Now I’ll go upstairs and shower. Do not disturb me, okay?”

“When did you become so bossy?”

“My brother taught me so when I was little girl.” You yelled, in the way to your room, hearing Stefan laugh downstairs.

Soon enough, you arrived your destination, rushing to open the curtains and admire the gorgeous day outside. Bright sun, white clouds; the whole scene got you wishing to put on a bikini and go swimming. But, as you were at Mystic Falls, that would not be possible. A sigh came out of your lips as the realisation you missed your travels hit you. Shaking your head, you undressed quickly, leaving a small pile of clothes on the floor.

At the bathroom, you put together a great shower.

“Damn it, Damon.” You rolled your eyes, noticing one of your bath salts was gone.

Having no other choice, you shrugged and entered the tub. The water was so warm and cosy it made you close your eyes, smiling. After the long night you had, that was exactly what you needed to unwind.

The minute you closed your eyes, you could not help but think about Kol. It was funny how you thought you would never see him again and, somehow, he was undaggered by Niklaus the same time you got back to Mystic Falls. Sure it could not be a coincidence.


[Over 100 years ago]

“So, Mary, are you sure this party is safe?”

“Yes! I’ve told you that a million times. One of my friends, Elijah, invited me over, I asked if you could come and he said yes.”

“Why do I feel you’re not telling me everything?”

“Come on, Y/N! Let’s go! You get to meet handsome men and drink fresh blood, that ought be good.”

You bit your lower lip, analysing the situation and finally agreeing to go, nodding your head slightly. Mary smiled and let out a girlish shout, which made you giggle.

“By the way, you look stunning in that dress.”

“Don’t make me blush or I might regret going to this party thing.”

Mary only rolled her eyes, the smirk never leaving her lips, and grabbed your hand, pulling you inside the vehicle. For your best friend, life was an endless festivity, you just had to jump in it and enjoy. As for that evening, you decided to go along with her beliefs.


{later that night}

“This is such a bore, Mary. You never told me it was going to be ball.”

The family who owned that place was, surely, very rich. The room had a very unique decoration, featuring light coloured walls, expensive furniture and a bunch of stuff you did not care to pay attention to. Actually, the only thing that caught your eye was a very good-looking guy, who kept gazing at you all night long. However, he did not dare to come around and talk to you.

“Look, stay just a little bit longer and then you’re free to go, all right?”

“Okay.” You nodded. “I’ll go outside, to catch some air. It won’t take long.”

“Fine, I guess I’ll see you later.”

You went up, searching for some sort of balcony. Although it was a clear night with a bright moon shining, the wind kept howling. These moments reminded you so much of your brothers, how they would tuck you in bed and sing you a lullaby, so you would sleep peacefully. Especially Damon. You and him were immensely close siblings.

“Well, what are you doing all by yourself here, love?”

“I guess this is not my kind of party, so I snuck out.” You answered the stranger, without looking at him.

“I saw you with Mary. Are you friends with her?”

“Yeah, she has been my friend for a few years now.” You replied, staring firmly at the moon. “How do you know her?”

“She’s sort of a family friend.”

“Elijah is a relative of yours?”

“My brother.”

You glanced over your shoulder, curious of what that man would look like. For your surprise, you recognised the devilish smirk and the filled with mischief eyes. He walked towards you slowly, which lead you to assume he was huge teaser. His warm touch got your shoulders and you could not help but shudder under it.

“I believe I haven’t gotten your name.”

“Kol Mikaelson, at your service.” He kissed your hand, as a way to display courtesy. “Mind to tell me yours?”

“Y/N Salvatore.”

“Now, what do you say we ditch this party and go out to have some fun?”

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Reiji’s Sleeping Vampire

No one reads this but I’ll say my spiel anyway. The entire reason I bought a fucking PS Vita and bought freaking Vandead Carnival was so that I could do this. Because it isn’t anywhere.  And tbh going through Reiji’s things just pisses me off all the more because yeah he’s a dick but all the guys are and deep down he’s so fucking genuine?? So please, appreciate Reiji-sama. Translation was done by me and my questions were answered by boyfriend-sama so everyone give him thanks or else I’d still be pulling my hair out XD So yeah. Enjoy~ 

*Do not use without explicit permission*


Oh, did you wake up? Ah…were you planning to sleep?

That’s perfect. Well then, how about sleeping?

Even if you say that, you’re not in bed.

You don’t understand? It should be different from usual.

*sighs*…it doesn’t make sense to try and explain things to a dull woman like you.

Oh, I see. The luxurious one is different.

The way this feels…you can understand just by touching it. You, however…

That’s right. Isn’t it different from yesterday?

I had it measured while you were at school.

The bed is an antique so I left it as is, I only changed the sheets.

Because it was ordered from a well respected shop in Western Europe…I came to hear opinion.

Despite that, I’m amazed that I did not get the answer that I wanted to hear the most.

You still don’t seem to know the difference. It seems it’s best to leave your bed as is.

Good grief… it’s problematic for you to be at the same level as my brothers…

Hah? What are you talking about?

Isn’t it obvious that only the bed sheets and pillow case were changed?

The triplets are sleeping so they wouldn’t mind.

It is doubtful that Subaru would be sleeping in a bed.

I don’t need to explain that, do I?

Anyway, you are the only one who would use it.

That is why, I came to hear your opinion…

I tried sleeping by myself to make sure there is nothing wrong with it.

The sheets on this bed are mine. And of course, you are too.

Even saying that, I can’t find a reason to blame you for wanting to sleep beside me.

You know, don’t you? As long as you know that’s fine.

Even so, it’s the truth. That this has a nice and soft touch.

The firmness of the mattress is just right for me. How does it feel for you?

That’s a rather simple answer. If you could give me something more concrete, I’d like to hear it.

For example, to what degree is your body sinking into the mattress?

If you said that you are not sleeping because you are next to me, that is an invalid argument.

Because like this it won’t be long before you’re sleeping next to me.

Please think for yourself what that means.

How is it? This feeling of our bodies against each other…don’t you think it’s wonderful?

The feeling of the elasticity pushing back on your body. It’s the perfect balance.

You don’t know? *he sighs*…How troublesome.

Why did I even change yours…you understand at least that much, don’t you?

I do not need thanks. *sighs* Explaining it to a disappointing person like you would be as painful as breaking a bone.

You must understand your position.

You’re food, aren’t you? (He says this super teasingly though not very condescending like)

That’s why, you have to sleep well and stay healthy.

I have a duty to keep you in top physical condition with a good environment.

Kuku. I’m not worried about your body.

Would you let me suck blood from an unhealthy body?

The state of your blood, of course, is important, but so is your skin.

If your scars don’t heal quickly, then it will be a burden on your body.

It may eventually lead to discomfort of the whole body.

You yourself know best don’t you?

Well, that’s that. But there are things to that which make it convenient.

If my bite remains on your skin forever…

That would be a mark of my posession.

Even if you accidentally got caught by another man with your clothes all ripped…

If there were a lot of bite marks on your skin left by me, it will show that I own you, no?

Yes, in fact, if someone tries to ignore the number of perfectly beautiful bites that I have given you…

If such a reckless man exists, I will eliminate him before he reaches you.

Kuku…then? No matter what sort of hand touches you, I will erase it.

However, it seems that you like and are prone to falling into traps. So please, be careful.

Being sleep deprived and spaced out is not an excuse.

In that case, please try and have a proper sleep.

That said…what is with your sleeping posture?

With that sort of cheap pajama material, no matter how much you change the bedding it will not matter.

Because the design was cute, that’s why you picked it? You truly are a shallow person.

It seems as though there are several things in which I will have to properly train you again.

“Negligence” is the meaning of the word “sloppy”

Sleep quality is reduced with such negligence.

Here, touch my clothes.

Do you understand? What kind of material this is…

Yes, silk. Once you feel how smooth this is, you can never choose anything else.

Of course, this bed and pillow cover are also silk. You’ve noticed this much at least, haven’t you?

What a surprised sound you made…well, that’s fine.

Because silk is also excellent in humidity, it is perfect for wearing.

I will give you some next time.

In that case…well, let’s keep a design in mind for the moment.

It is important to choose something that would suit you.

You do not have to thank me. Because what is most suitable for you, that is something I know most.

Wide shouldered with an open neckline, a one-piece design would be good, wouldn’t it?

You’ll get cold? You don’t need to worry about such things.

If I suck your blood, your skin begins to heat up, and then you will no longer be cold.

If you twist your body and raise your voice, it’s only natural…for you.

That’s right, I’ve seen your twisted figure, it is useless to deny.

Lift up your face.

It seems you misunderstood. Honestly…you are a foolish person no matter how much time passes.

What you need is to be properly groomed, since you are only food.

In order to become suitable…do you understand now?

Even so…why are you looking at me with such eyes?

I have not said a single word of this thinking of you.

Despite this, I have told you what suits you.

It is natural to think that based on subjectivity? Think of your position.

Well even then. I need to know your hobbies.

If you want, I will give it a little thought.

I do not feel like giving you excessive expectation. Please do not hesitate.

[Your name]

What are you laughing for? Stop giving such a frustrating reaction.

*sighs* Is it not time you went to bed?

You are not sleepy? Please do not say such stupid things.

Even though I already explained this much, it’s amazing you can still say such things.

I see. It is important for you to consider actions that are in accordance with my will.

Are there secrets to sleeping well? That is something that exists without a doubt.

Speaking of things that make for a pleasant sleep, it is said that it is better to have a hot drink before going to sleep, no?

You already drank some? For once you had a good idea.

Then? What on earth did you drink?

Black tea?

Why did you choose black tea?

Enough already, tell me. Could it be that you heard it was good for sleep?

*sighs* As expected, you are disappointing.

Are you unaware that black tea, just like coffee, have the effect to hinder sleep?

No matter how relaxing the fragrance, you should avoid them because of such ingredients.

If you put something in the tea, though, the story may be different.

Yes. Because if you become unconscious, then you will sleep well.

Would you like to test it now? (The words he uses for this here already imply that he’s not being serious)

If you do not want to be told such a joke, then please correct yourself first.

Honestly, to be misled by such a rumor, you are a human that cannot be helped.

If you only listen to “others” you’ll only end up hurting yourself.

You only ever have to listen to what I say.

There’s no objection, right?

Before going to bed, hot milk is best. It would be good to drink some from now on.

It is important to do so, without question.

Let’s order some milk from the ranch. Getting it fresh every day would be good.

I don’t have to go that far? Exactly what are you misunderstanding?

I do not feel like drawing out your thoughts. This is simply all part of “food” (he’s referring to her) management.

Honestly…No matter how many times I say it, you never understand…*sighs*

I do not like doing things half-way. Even if it is something like “food” management.

In order to finish things perfectly, it is important not to go crazy for anything.

If you can move exactly how I’d like, I would not have to go this far.

It seems like you have a talent for making trouble for me… it’s upsetting.

…If you understand, then.

Go to sleep.

Why is it that you have to be ordered by me.

Moreover, you would like for me to leave the room. (It sounds awkward in translation, I wasn’t sure how to word it. But basically he’s annoyed by the fact that he constantly has to tell her things and she has no initiative on her own. And on top of no initiative, she wants him to leave the room so she can sleep alone)

No good. Since today I changed the pillow, I will stay here until you fall asleep.

Because it seems that you cannot sleep now that the pillow has been changed.

Well, you didn’t even notice that the pillow had been changed. Truly a disappointing woman. Be mindful of it.

Now, sleep. Close your eyes…yes.

-cuts to black-

*Reiji sighs*

Why is your body stiff?

With that sleeping face, you will be tired. That’s obvious isn’t it?

Please try your best to sleep. For example, isn’t there a pointless human saying about sheep?

Well, I don’t think such a thing will work. It is meaningless to know what little people think.

However, maybe it suits you. Try it.

*laughing* Did you really try it?

I don’t trust something so ridiculous…it’s silly.

But that’s exactly why…this foolish way suits you.

What happened? For you to be speaking to me while counting

Even with your eyes closed, can you feel my gaze on you?

There is no problem with that. Why should one take their eyes away from the target?

I must stay here until I can confirm that you are sleeping properly.

Or, could you be saying that I am an inconvenience by staying here?

If so, you must let me hear the reason. Come, say it.

It’s embarrassing? What are you saying?

I do not understand what it means to be embarrassed being next to me.

Think about it. Isn’t it funny for prey to be embarrassed by being near me?

Hm… Is there a different reason? It is nonsense to focus on one assumption.

So what other reason is there?

Are you feeling embarrassed that once again you’ve realized you are incompetent unlike myself?

Or are you feeling the shame and self pity for being unable to fulfill your role as food?

Later on, you will realize the advantage you have by having me.

This is how I…is it because I am staring at you from such a short distance?

Oh? It seems I found the answer.

*opens eyes*

-cuts to Reiji again-

Didn’t I tell you not to open your eyes?

*chuckles* Were you planning on stealing a glance?

If you’re planning to continue looking…

How about I look directly at you?

What’s wrong? You wanted to see, didn’t you?

It’s fine.

Ah, that’s right….this is a good opportunity. With such a thing, let us graduate from what is upsetting us.

From here on, I will allow you to get used to it.

So then, please adjust your gaze. Do not look away, please continue watching.

Excuse me.

Your pulse is faster than usual. I will keep this in mind.

With your eyes fixed on me…it may be more effective if we are closer together.

Woops. I cannot give you the option to escape.

I can’t bring you closer because I already have you roughly by the wrists…

That’s no fun. Then, come, closer to me. (the game makes you touch the screen so that you’ll get closer)

More.  Even closer.

What are you waiting for? I do not remember telling you to stop.

At this distance our lips will touch? *chuckles*…is there something wrong?

There is no problem. Continue…Or do you not want to touch me?

What are you saying after coming such a distance?

Kiss me.  (Ok the feel of this gets completely lost and I hate it but idk how the fuck else to translate it. It’s not as direct or harsh, it’s pretty soft the way he says it, more like he is requesting one from her, like ‘from you, a kiss if you please’ but not in so many words)

This is an order. You must absolutely obey my instructions.

Why are you upset? Even if you make me wait, I will not spoil you.

You understand don’t you?…Since expressions of commitment are fine, do hurry up.

*you have to touch the screen again for a kissu!*

*Reiji sighs*

Why did you avert your eyes?

Look while kisses are exchanged (ok but bastard closed his eyes in the CG??)

Yes, of course I was going to be looking to check.

However, even disciplining you in this fashion, it will take hundreds of years.

You can overwrite such feelings of embarrassment with something that feels good.

Don’t you think?

Furthermore, no one is saying to kiss deeply or intensely.

As for myself, I do not mind trying a kiss like…

I will dare to leave you here. It will also convey to me what sort of feelings you have.

However, I do not know how you truly think of me.

If it is to me, it is fine to show it as you’d like.

Why do you have such disappointed eyes?

*heroine closes eyes and kisses him*

Nn…

*opens eyes again*

Was this your answer?

*his smile gets bigger*

 …No, this is fine. It is not enough but…I understand.

Very well….*kisses her some more*

Your gaze…do not divert it…*more slow sensual kisses*

I would not say it is embarrassing, would you?

This kiss…

Because I received it from you.

I will let you get used to it….*more kissing*

*scoffs* What happened? Making that sort of face, your blood pressure is rising.

The blood vessels in you human beings are incredibly fragile, so please be careful.

But can you stop having such labored breathing over something like this?

It is not pleasure I want you to remember. It is comfort.

By touching your hands, forehead, lips.

I can understand that comfort has been gained.

Do you believe me?

*scoffs* What’s with that happy answer?

…if you say that, then calm down the speed of your pulse and relax.

And with that, you should try to sleep well.

Oh? Are you forgetting now? I came to manage your sleep.

That is why you must understand the original purpose exactly.

Are you going to sleep well?

I see. You are a troublesome woman.

Well then, for a little more…we can touch each other.

Calling it skinship is a bit awkward, but it cannot be helped.

Please do not be conceited. I do not accept all of your actions.

Well, like this…it is not so bad to feel warmth.

What? Do not hold someone’s hand without permission.

Your head? ….Like this?

*laughs* What sort of face are you making? In a stupid way, like that of a dog being groomed…it’s a happy face.

You’re the only woman who accepts my hand in such a happy way.

Good grief, for you to relax in such a way…

It seems that I will have to go to bed next to you every day…

Let’s do it like this for a while…just stroking…

Goodnight, [Your name]

*closes eyes*

*small pause*

*Reiji sighs*

*eyes open*

When I am with you…my condition gets worse.

This…you are sleeping unprotected in my arms…you are truly a strange person.

But, for sleeping side by side to be so comfortable…

It was unnecessary to point it out. Nevertheless…why?

This satisfaction…makes me feel like I’m being filled with warmth.

It was not supposed to be in such a way, but seeing as it is now, it cannot be helped.

Everything is your fault, [Your Name]

For today, I will sleep with you.

Even in your dreams…resting peacefully…goodnight. 

as I’ve been gently descending into real hockey hell lately, I came across the anecdote that a certain famous rl candian hockey forward used to go to local pick up games, but he was so good that they made him play goalie so that the opposing team would have a chance.

when you combine this with my headcanon (for my bitty-navigates-his-early-20′s fic that i may or may not ever write) that bitty joins a local beer league after he moves to Providence….you get…

Bitty is thrilled when he discovers a local rec league in Providence. He’s missed being out on the ice and it sounds like a great way to make some friends. Even better, there’s no checking allowed. He signs up right away.

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Clark Kent - “I just couldn't be alone tonight”

A/N: Just a little something that came to me in the middle of the night whilst half asleep. What could happen when Clark’s significant other finds out he’s Superman.

You’d been dating Clark Kent for about 6 months now after meeting at the Daily Planet where you wrote an entertainment column. Clark loved your writing, but most of all loved the fact that it didn’t take you to any of the dangerous places he and the other journalists would sometimes get sent.

While you’d been taking the relationship slowly, things were starting to feel serious. You’d never spent a night together, but you knew Clark would do anything for you. In fact you’d become the ‘it’ couple at the paper.

The fact that you’d never spent the tonight together made it all the more worrying when Clark appeared on your doorstep at 11 at night, frantically hoping he wasn’t going to wake you.

“Clark?” you asked sleepily, opening your door.

“I’m so sorry, yn, I just couldn’t be alone tonight.”

You stepped aside and let him wander into your apartment. He was so exhausted, not at all how he normally seemed. Around you, he was always upbeat, his whole face radiating life and joy. At work he was serious, yet confident and sure. Now he looked defeated.

“Tea?” you asked heading to the kitchen, not sure what else to do with your boyfriend at this point.

“Yeah, thanks,” he responded, trailing after you and slouching against the worktop.

“Clark, what’s wrong?”

He looked up at you, brows pulled seriously together.

“You ever have a moment, where you’re trying to do the right thing, and so sure you’re doing everything you can to help but the whole world seems to be pushing back? You’re doing everything in your power to be good and righteous and everyone tells you you’re wrong. That you’ll never be good. Like yourself isn’t enough?” he cocked his head to the side, eyes still on you waiting for a response.

“I get the world not seeming to work in your favour, but how could anyone not see the good in you? You’re so sweet and kind.”

Clark opened and closed his mouth, clearly debating with himself what he should tell you, before deciding on, “if I tell you my greatest secret, do you promise you won’t treat me any differently?”

“Clark, you’re scaring me,” you said, ignoring the hissing of the boiled kettle behind you. “Of course I won’t treat you differently, as long as you don’t me.”

He bowed his head and removed his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose before slowly looking back up at you.

“I’m Superman,” he said, not quite making eye contact.

You stepped closer to him. Reaching out a hand you tilted his head up until his eyes met yours. They were tinged with worry and sadness.

“Oh Clark,” you sighed out, before pulling him in to rest his head on your shoulder. “Whatever else you may be, you’re still my boyfriend and a good man. I’ve never once heard of Superman doing anything but the right thing, and saving lives. Anyone who says otherwise is a prejudiced fear monger.”

“You still like me?” he asked moving away slightly.

“Of course I do. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve noticed the similarities between you and Superman before. I mean, you’re my boyfriend, and our paper prints plenty of pictures of the other guy. Part of me didn’t believe you could be, the other part of me knew if it was true you’d tell me in time.”

“But, all this power, you’re not scared?”

“In what world would I ever be scared of you? Just because you’ve now told me, it doesn’t somehow make you a different person. You’re still Clark Kent, and I still love you,” you gently placed your hands either side of his face. “You’d never hurt me,” you whispered, lightly brushing your lips over his.

He lifted his hands to your back, holding you close and briefly deepened the kiss.

“So, do think I could stay the night?” he half smiled, the exhaustion on his face now tinged with relief.

“Of course,” you smiled back, taking his hand and forgetting all about the half made tea.

you know what fucks me up? 

if dan and phil are dating then there are people who just casually know

like imagine dan buying flowers and the shop lady asks him who they’re for and he says “oh they’re for my boyfriend.” 

or phil’s mum casually mentioning how her son lives in london with his boyfriend to a neighbor 

or phil talking with some lady on the tube about her husband and saying “yeah my boyfriend does that all the time” 

or dan sitting down in the chair at the hairdresser and the first thing she asks him is how his boyfriend is doing

yeah. that really fucks me up.