oh tee


Day and Night

“when in distress, draw a dude in a dress” is what i always say

and man a lot of you have been mentioning me on this post and the first time i saw it i fell in love but before drawing yuuri in that dress i had to find something for viktor and lo and behold i found this on my dash

I was just remembering a D&D campaign I played a few years ago. I was playing a sneaky rogue. At one point before leaving on a quest, during some down-time, I’d had her pay a baker to make some bread chock-full of deadly nightshade berries. In the following quest, we were supposed to rescue this princess chick who’d been kidnapped by some evil sorcerer or something. And she was so fucking annoying, complaining about how slowly we’d been rescuing her, acting really shifty whenever we asked her any questions, making weird sexual promises to the Paladin, and whining about being hungry. So I offered her a chunk of my bread.

DM, who obviously had plans for this character: Is this the deadly nightshade bread? Yeah, she’s not gonna eat that.

Me: Why not? She said she was starving.

DM: Is that enough to kill her?

Me: I dunno. I think I read it takes 3 berries to kill a toddler. That chunk probably has, like, 20. If it doesn’t kill her, she’ll get terrible digestive issues, hallucinate like crazy, maybe convulse, and probably wish she was dead.

DM: Wouldn’t she taste something funny?

Me: Nope, the berries are supposedly pretty delicious.

DM: Well… she… she’s suspicious about why you’re giving it to her.

Me: Why the fuck is she suspicious? I’m rescuing her, and she said she’s hungry. I’m being nice. And she’s being rude.

DM: W-well… Paladin, aren’t you going to warn her about the nightshade?

Paladin: I wasn’t there when she paid the baker. I think it’s just bread.

Sorcerer: None of us knew. And she has no reason not to eat it.

DM *getting frustrated now*: Okay, fine! She takes it and… there’s a loud bang from further back in the cave, and she gets startled and drops it.

Me: What the hell. Here I am rescuing you, I give you my bread, and you insult me like this?

DM *playing as the princess*: Oh, uh, tee-hee? Sorry?

Me: Well don’t worry, princess. Of course I didn’t give you the whole loaf. Here, have another slice.

DM: She’s not hungry anymore.

Ranger: Bullshit. Eat up, princess.


wonder (m)

Originally posted by dear0901

summary: that was the snag, the inconvenience if you will, Jeon Jungkook had next to no experience with girls. It was his best friend that insisted on dragging the poor boy from the safety of his dorm and to the nearest frat party. But now Jungkook no longer attended the parties instead taking refuge on your couch. He’d find comfort there, stretched out upon his back with your legs on either side of his body, your fingers threading lazily through his hair. virgin!kook

word count: 6,028

warning: usual filth, basically sex ed with kook

It’s the way he stares. Eyes almost childlike, shining with an innocence so pure and wondrous. Resisting the urge to indulge in such vulnerability becomes a daily fight because you stare too, except it’s not sheer curiosity that is fuelling you, it’s unadulterated lust. A passionate yearning that has your heartbeat racing and skin setting alight, a fire so intense you ponder on whether or not he’d soothe it or ignite it further.

Keep reading

Ahsoka is a badass but that’s old news

Y’all remember episode 14 season 2 of Star Wars the Clone Wars where Ahsoka saved Lux’s ass 

then he had the AUDACITY to pull a blaster on here that shit was gonna stop ya girl

and she went from “Uh hey man what the fuck” 

to “r u fuckin serious bonteri”

in like two frames

and Lux was all “oh la tee da i’ve got a great fuckin plan” and 




“Shotting me is not gonna be part of it.” {{{{BITCH}}}} 

took that blaster outta that little bitch boys hands like nothin’ god i love her

sometimes i think about how hongseok spent like 10 minutes explaining to jinho why he didn’t choose him as a group leader because he wanted to show the judges he’s trying to improve his dancing

and how he cried when he talked about fighting with jinho

and i’m just like


hongseok is so in love with jinho and i understand him 10000000000%

Circulating - G_the_G - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Captain America (Movies)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers, Jane Foster/Thor
Characters: Darcy Lewis, Jane Foster, James “Bucky” Barnes, Natasha Romanova, Thor, Steve Rogers, Beth the Waitress (Marvel)
Additional Tags: Fluff, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Beardy Professor Steve Rogers, Grad Student Darcy, Russian Professor Bucky, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Thor Is Not Stupid
Series: Part 10 of Avengers University

What happens at the astrophysics symposium, stays at the astrophysics symposium.

And we finally have progress!