oh shit what time is it

anonymous asked:

How would Tokoyami, Hatsume Mei, Itsuka Kendo, and Momo react to having an s/o that's really affectionate and loves cuddling and stuff? Thank you so much!!!

Tokoyami is very caught off guard at first, and takes some time to get used to it. He’ll still hug and cuddle you and stuff, but he might hesitate at first because “where do I put my hands? what about my beak oh my god I’m gonna stab them with my beak.” Dark Shadow will play wingman and push him to reciprocate. Like, literally push. This is inevitable

Hatsume loves that shit!!! She’s pretty affectionate too, and it’s all the better if you’re down with that. She doesn’t care about PDA or anything just run up and kiss her it’s fine

Itsuka is more reserved about it. Behind closed doors she’s super affectionate, but she’s not always the best with PDA. Hand holding and a kiss on the cheek is about as far as she’ll go. She’s a cuddle monster though, and almost always the big spoon. You’ve never felt so safe

Momo just gets flustered about it. She’s hyped that you like her so much but her parents weren’t overly physically affectionate and she’s a reserved person. She warms up to it very quickly, but she’ll blush about affection for a long time into your relationship.

anonymous asked:

Hello, just read "A Preponderance of the Evidence" and my heart fucking DROPPED with the ‘make it hurt so I know you’re not him’ bit like HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SOOOOOOOOO GOOOOODDDUH and Mulder struggling with losing Scully again but giving her enough space because it is her life? Actually everything about the way you wrote Mulder was great? and ending with how lovingly he touches her so she knows its him? What the shit? Who gave you the right to write like that? Just 1111/10, all time fav fic.

Oh my geez, thank you so much!!! I’m really happy you enjoyed it because it was definitely a labor of love for me. It thrills me to pieces when somebody takes the time to read and send feedback like this so thank you x 1000000!!

Oh shit back at it again with the beid head canons

-Spencer loves kissing Bee at the most random times. Like shes just waiting for the oven to go off and spencer walks up and just kisses her and makes her all dizzy and flustered and then he just walks back to what he was doing. Meanwhile Bee is just like ‘what…um..okay’

-Bee loves to make spencer blush. She just likes seeing his smiles and his cute flustered noises.

-Spencer had a full on scruff beard for 2 months cause bee said she liked it. Luke asked why he hadn't​’t shaved his eyes went to Bee who was standing with Emily in the kitchen area of the bullpen. And luke just nodded patting his shoulder.

-Spencer often finds himself looking at her no matter where they are, in the meeting room, on the jet, elbow deep in dead victims…spencer just finds himself looking to Bee.

-Bee has a habit of playing with spencers fingers. In the meeting room…on the jet just playing with his hands.

-Spencer has many ways to say he loves her. Kissing her nose, back hugs, smiles, looks.

-After a case spencer needs to just hold on to her, just hug her tight. And just know she is there.

-Any time Bee gets hurt on a case spencer is full on protective spence mode. Like he has been dragged away by luke from trying to do the EMS’s job.

-Bee often dances with spencer. Just pulling him up and slowly dancing.

-Bee tries to teach him spanish but he can’t quite get the accents right…

-Spencer loves to just watch her sleep…cause she is so beautifully unstressed and worry free. He has the ring bought but is just waiting for the perfect moment.

-criminallyyoursdrreid aka cheynne feels all lovey at 120am

Yo I’m crying. This is so lovely and has made my night 100% better. 

mikeywrites  asked:

51 36 29

  • 29. Is writing more of a hobby or do you write with the intention of getting published?

At this point, I write as a hobby and as practice. I do want to write publishable books at some point, but atm I don’t have the time to dedicate to building the characters and settings I have ideas for, so it’s easier to work with existing ones.

  • 51. Are you a secretive writer or do you talk with your friends about your books?

I don’t, not even with online friends, really, unless I’m interacting with readers. 

  • 36. Post a snippet

oh shit… well, the doc I have opened rn is of some ‘Shadowhunters’ fanfic so idk how many here would get what I’m talking about but there it goes..

The waving lights and sounds were different - quieter, more contained - but the energy and shape that opened before him were of a portal nonetheless. A portal, because Magnus had looked tired. Admittedly, he’d had at least an hour of sleep. Enough to survive, magically speaking. Enough to keep a glamour on and more or less summon a couple portals, there and back again, even though he’d have needed to sleep it off for at least half a day afterwards. Which perhaps Alec would kind of know. Which perhaps would seem worrisome enough for him as to not allow it. It felt odd, the idea of possibly being taken care of, in a situation of not ultimately needing it -being looked after, rather - and not even as a commodity that would be troublesome to get broken down for a while too long.   

It got himself reminded there was a functioning portaling machine within the London Institute that he himself had helped finish, but all these instances no Shadowhunter has thought of offering its uses to a warlock who should be able to convey his own, or wondered what this constant conveying might cost him. But Alec did.

thewillowbends replied to your post “thewillowbends replied to your post “wait omg what time period is…”

Oh, I’d think a Logan-style film would be better, too, don’t get me wrong, but I think Tatooine is canonically too far off the map
to be of the kind of significance to drive a movie story beyond Luke - who’s story is already told (being told?).  Getting pulled off planet to deal with Important Shit™ and forcing him into a galaxy of which he’s no longer a part might give us some interesting conflict.                    

The more I think about it the more I believe that’s the route Disney will go. It means more visual spectacle, more opportunities for merchandising, it’ll make the movie more like “Star Wars”, etc. my biggest concern with the movie being set in another planet is how disconnect it’ll fell from Obi-Wan’s perspective. Protecting Luke is his only reason to get out of the bed every morning. I can’t imagine him leaving Luke, his mission, unprotected to go help strangers. Obi-wan believes Luke is the only hope the galaxy has and in his mind he already failed one Skywalker. He absolutely cannot fail this one. Plus, he’s an old time Jedi. He isn’t Luke. Obi-wan is not the kind of Jedi who would jeopardize his mission to save a few. I can only see him leaving Tatooine to help someone as important as Luke and what he represents. So unless it’s to save, idk, a certain princess from Alderaan, I don’t see him leaving Luke unprotected.

They could also give him parts of Ferus story. I’d be okay with Obi-wan going to Naboo to sabotage the investigations into Padmé’s death by the Empire (give me some Naboo and Padmé, you cowards!).

I’d also be okay with him leaving if he left only after Qui-Gon promised him he’d keep Luke safe.

i just feel like, totally connected to Infinity War Steve Rogers, he just doesn’t give a fuck anymore, he’s so tired of this nonsense, he’s like “here we go the fuck again, what dumbass shit do I have to fight for an indeterminate amount of time now, oh it’s a giant purple space man, of course it is, what else would it fuckin be, i am nearly 100 years old, when will i be let rest”

can’t believe tom holland murdered toby maguire with his bare hands

10

→ Catherine de Medici + Francis II, for @cassanabaratheon, Happy Birthday sweet <3

haters: IF ISHIDA MAKES TOUKEN CANON I WILL DROP THIS SERIES

me:

Originally posted by fandomdeluxe

My favorite Percival Graves tropes in no particular order:
  • Graves is a workaholic and a grump with no social life
  • him and Seraphina go waaaay back
  • he wears round reading glasses (yea we all saw that one interview)
  • always buying Credence food, esp. sandwiches (technically canon)
  • buys Credence’s his first wand + new clothes 
  • basically always a sugar daddy with different levels of explicitness 
  • loves The Law - until it stops him from having Credence and then The Law goes out the window
  • finds Credence unbearably appealing for reasons that could include: pale skin, jawline, cheekbones, vulnerability, innocence, lips, lashes 
  • Credence inspires a newfound protectiveness in him
  • Graves wants to murder Mary Lou (sometimes actually does?)
  • soft spot for rebellious underling Tina
  • outside of work, doesn’t know what he’s doing MOST of the time

givin ur bf his fav spicy treat got the dokis in high gear

anonymous asked:

as long as we're talking about stiles as hale bait, can i just say that i've always wanted to find an au fic in which stiles finds out that he accidentally has dated/slept with like half the hale family? like he and derek meet and start dating and it's totally love and then derek takes him home and oh shit. there's his first highschool girlfriend who things ended awkwardly with aka cousin malia. who has her mom's last name since her parents never got married.

and then cora comes downstairs and oh hey cora! awesome. they dated for a bit in college but there wasn’t much of a spark so it only last a few months and then they actually became total bros. like he’s still really good friends with her? he probably should have made the connection between hale and hale, but he met cora at berkeley and she doesn’t talk about her family that much so it didn’t occur to him. still this is getting kind of weird? and then there’s “cousin” (packmate) erica who stiles

had a brief friends with benefits kind of thing with last year. no big, right? and then oh shit why does that older guy sitting next to derek’s parents and leering at him look so familiar? or right, he met him at a club one time when he was in between significant other’s and they hooked up in the bathroom. and apparently he’s the father of his first girlfriend. awwwkward. stiles has never felt so uncomfortable and confused in his life. why is this happening to him?

what is up with this family and him? is he some kind of hale-sexual or something? he’d been operating under the assumption that he was bi, but apparently all the people he’s ever been attracted to are part of this family. derek meanwhile has wrapped himself jealously around stiles and is glaring at everyone is his family including his parents (who honestly do not have any designs on their son’s boyfriend) and laura. who has not stopped laughing since they figured out what was going on.


I need to read a long fic on this! 

Because at first Stiles is like, “Derek, are you punking me?” 

And Derek is all, “What?” 

“Are you punking me?” Stiles eyes grow wide. “Oh my god. Is this an intervention? Do I do something weird in bed and you all got together to tell me to stop it?” 

“Do you do something weird in bed.” It’s not even a question. Derek has no idea what the fuck is going on at this point. 

“Derek! These people are not your family.” 

“They are,” Derek says. 

“Oh. My. God.” Stiles is three shades paler than usual. “Derek, I have slept with all of these people.” 

“What?” It’s Derek’s turn to go pale. 

Stiles points them all out. “Malia, hi, haven’t see you since high school. Nice blonde girl from the bakery whose name escapes me now and I am so, so sorry, hello.” He swallows and his throat clicks. “Hot older dude from the club.” 

“Peter,” the man says, extending his hand. He flashes a wicked smile. “Peter Hale. I’m Malia’s father.” 

Stiles squeaks. 

Derek bats his hand away and growls. 

“Um, Cora, yep, really should have put that together, I guess,” Stiles says, raking his fingers through his hair. “Um, Isaac, right? From my political science class last year. And…” His jaw drops when Laura grins at him. 

“Laura lives in New York,” Derek growls. “She literally lives in New York.” 

“Second stall in the Terminal Three bathroom at LAX, right?” Laura asks, and gives Stiles the finger guns. 

“Oh god,” Stiles says. 

All in all, it’s one of Derek’s most interesting family dinners. Alan Deaton thinks it has something to do with their wolves being drawn to Stiles, in knowing that he’d be a good fit for the pack. Stiles is mortified, but Derek’s surprisingly okay with it. 

He’s just glad that when his parents finally made it downstairs that Stiles didn’t recognise them too… 

He takes quite a lot of comfort in that, actually. 

Breaking the rules

THIS IS PART 2 FOR I DONT PLAY BY THE RULES

Pairing: Peter parker x reader

Summary: Peter and reader get paired up on a project together, while studying together reader might find out Peter’s identity and things get steamy between them.

Word count: 2265

warnings: makeout, swearing?

Hope you guys enjoy!

Part 1  Part 3

Masterlist

Originally posted by winter-hunters

Next day Peter was going crazy. He had in fact made out with the girl of his dreams, and she had kissed him first! He arrived to school with the biggest puppy smile in his face, which was not dismissed by Ned, who immediately dragged him to an empty hallway.

“Please tell me you talked to her”

“Even better”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, she- umm- well, we might have kissed”

“Badass”

As they headed towards Chemistry class Peter kept replaying last night’s events in his head. Would it be too soon to go back to yours today? He wanted to talk to Y/n more, and the kisses were always a bonus. He looked for her in the crow, when he finally spotted Y/n he  gave her his brightest smile, the one he had been saving just for her.

However Y/n looked, confused? When she saw him she looked kind of surprised and pleased as she waved her hand at him. He lifted his own hand ready to wave back, wondering why would she look surprised? They had made ou- Crap, crap crap crap!

Peter stopped his hand from weaving and quickly look somewhere else as he realized. Of course she would look surprised! She doesn’t know who was behind the mask! Peter kept his gaze in the floor as he made his way to the classroom. With her sitting in the front at least he wouldn’t be discover staring at Y/n.

The class went by rapidly, with Peter paying none to little attention, at least until the final minutes when the teacher made an announcement.

“Class as you know we will be making the final project on pairs, which I will assign, so stop looking at Mr. Parker, Mr Leeds. It’s due by the end of the week so you better start working now.”

Peter zoned out until he heard his name being called once again by the teacher.

“Mr Parker will be working with Ms. Stark”

The teacher continued calling the pairs, however Peter couldn’t seem to focus anymore. He was working with Y/n? He could barely look at you without blushing, how was he going to talk to you?

Being so distracted he didn’t notice people leaving the classroom, apparently class was over. He saw Ned leaving the classroom as well, giving the boy a thumbs up as he noticed that Y/n was not gone, she was approaching Peter, with one of her classic smiles.

“Hey Peter”

“Hey- I umh- hey”

Peter control yourself! This is your chance to talk to her, at least without the suit.

“Well, I was thinking that maybe we should work on the project at my place, you know my dad will be happy  to see you”

What? How does she know Mr. Stark and him now each other? Does she also know he is spiderman?

“You know since you have the Stark Internship and all”

Right. The Stark Internship. He almost forgot about that too.

“Sooo, my place at 7? You should stay for dinner as well.”

The boy could only manage a nod before the girl turned around and exited the room, leaving him alone. Great, he thought, I really am nothing without my suit, I can’t even talk to her!

Tonight will be a long night.

Peter had been a nervous wreck during the whole day, so when school was over he went to the first alley he could find and changed into his spiderman suit. He had some hours to kill before going to the Avenger’s tower.

Time flied as he stopped robberies and helped a girl get her cat back from a tree. When he finally checked his phone it was 7:10 already! He went back to the alley and changed into his usual clothes, shoving the suit into his backpack and hurrying towards her home.

Mr. Stark was waiting for him as the elevator doors opened. He welcomed him with a smile as he took his shoulder with his hand and guided him towards the kitchen.

“Welcome kid! You know where everything is, so make yourself at home.”

“Thank you Mr. Stark”

“Just remember that my daughter is off limits for everybody, and that includes you”

This time his tone had been more serious and he was staring right at Peter’s eyes, like he could tell what had happened yesterday. Peter felt terrible, Mr. Stark had helped him so much and gave him his suit! He didn’t want to lie to the man!

However this thoughts were quickly erased as he saw Y/n entering the room. She was wearing a beautiful sundress that made her legs look longer. Mr. Stark cleared his throat next to Peter, probably to stop him from checking out his daughter.

“Remember the rules Peter! And Y/n, don’t you think that dress is too short”

“Dad stop it! We are just workin on a chemistry project! We’ll be in my room okay”

“Listen to me young lady, that door stays wide open!Dinner will be ready at 8!”

Y/n rolled her eyes as she took his arm and leaded the way towards her room, answering with a “Whatever dad” before closing the door.

“I’m sorry about that, he is just really protective”

“Yeah sure- don’t worry”

The both stood in the entrance of the room until she moved towards her couch, the same he had been on yesterday. He blushed at the memory and tried to think of something else before his pants go too tight. He followed her, sitting next to her as they talked about their project.

“So I was thinking we should do something related to DNA maybe? Like how it can change and stuff. I don’t really know it was just and idea-”

“No yeah, I like it, we should do that”.

The girl got up and brought her laptop to the couch so they could gather information together. Peter found it had to focus on the project when he could catch a glance at the hickeys on her neck, but he managed. About 20 minutes later they had gather enough information to at least get started on the actual presentation.

“Peter you’ve got a pencil I can borrow?”

“Yeah, just let me get my backpack”

“Where is it?”

“I leaved it by the door”

“I’ll go get it”

With those final words she stood up and headed towards the door looking for said pencil. Peter stayed alone for a while, waiting for her to come back. She was taking a while, maybe she couldn’t find it? As he was standing up to find the girl he saw her come back empty handed, but with a wide smile.

Her hair was now in a ponytail, and he could clearly see the hickeys from last night. Also, had her dress gotten shorter? It was barely covering her legs anymore, and he had to remind himself to look somewhere else before she noticed his drooling.

“Did you find it?”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter anymore. I was thinking we should get a break, you know, talk and stuff. Get to know each other”

Why did everything reminded him of last night? He got a big dejavu as the girl seated next to him but this time it was only to take his hand and lead him to her bed, seating down on it, with her back on the header as he took the place next to her, facing each other.

“Mmmh- so, what would you like to know?”

“Tell me about your Stark Internship Peter, it’s kinda funny how we’ve never runned into each other in the tower, since you spend so much time here.”

“Well I just- I stay mainly at the labs you know? And help your dad with stuff”

“So you spend a lot of time with my dad?”

“Kinda”

Peter was growing more and more nervous. The girl hadn’t stopped looking at him while biting her lip. Was she doing it on purpose? Did she know about his crush? He wanted to be the one biting those pink lips. Her hand traveled from her leg to her neck, stroking it while making small moans, claiming she was hurt. The noises distracted Peter as he tried his best not to get a hard on. Why was she doing this? Did she enjoyed to get guys in her room and seduce them?

“You must know the Avengers then”

“I’ve met them a couple times”

“Even Spiderman?”

Where was she going with these? Did she wanted to see Spider Man again? Maybe that was why she was asking about him, trying to seem nice to Peter so he would give him some info.

“I’ve talk to him a couple times”

“Well, I’ve been wanting to give him a  secret message, could you do that for me?”

The girl had gotten closer than before, taking Peter’s arm and stroking it, going up and down, while her other hand was on his shoulder, holding them close. She leaned into his ear as she whispered.

“You should tell him to hide better his suit”

She pushed back a little, just enough to catch Peter’s lip into a kiss. What even? Oh shit, she must have found the suit on my backpack! Well, he couldn’t really argue as she kept kissing him. How come she always surprised him? The boy refused to get left behind as he finally bit into the girl’s lip, making her open her mouth for his tongue to get in.

The girl got up and she straddled his hips, making them both whine at the contact. He got his mouth to hers once again while he took her legs into his hands. This time he could touch a little bit further. He slid his hand up and down, placing them in the back of her tights as he brought her closer to him.

He finally let go of the girls mouth as he headed towards her neck, sucking and biting at the same spot, leaving it even redder than before. He could hear her soft moaning right next to his ear as he slid a bit of her dress to kiss her collarbone. Meanwhile the girl had began unbuttoning his shirt, stroking his stomach as well, getting way to close at the band of his boxers. He could feel his pants getting a little too tight.

Did she feel the same? He wanted to touch as well, but he didn’t want to scare her off. He got his hands off from her thighs going for her waist instead, however the girl had other plans. She seemed to notice his thoughts as she took his hand and placed it under her dress once again.

“Don’t think too much Peter”

She went back to kissing him as the boy gather enough courage to move his hand upwards. He brushed his fingers slightly at the fabric of her underwear, making the girl throw back her head as she let out a series of whimpers, this time louder than before.

“Peter do it again”

With some new gained confidence the boy move his fingers once again against the fabric where he guessed was her clit, stroking it, making the girl even wetter than before.

Y/n started moving her hips along with his fingers, trying to get more friction, until she finally got his hand off her and she seated in his lap. The contact of his dick and her clit made them both let out groans a as they moved their hips in unison.

“Peter”

She continued to moan his name in his ear. If she kept on doing that he would be in a very sticky situation very soon. Peter tried to get back on her neck and maybe slide the other strap off her shoulder when a voice interrupted him.

“Peter better have some clothes on before I get in!”

Fuck, Mr Stark! He had completely forgotten about him. Both teenagers stared wide eyes at each other as her father entered the room, without giving them time to fix themselves.

She quickly got off him as he buttoned up his shirt and adjusted his pants. The last thing he wanted was for Mr. Stark to see he got the hots for his daughter. She tried to fix their hair but was stopped as her father stormed into the room.

“Are you serious kid? I welcomed you into my house, into my team! and this is how you thank me?”

Peter looked down at this words. He couldn’t believe he had gotten Mr. Stark down. He probably hated him

“Dad stop it! It was my fault!”

“How could it be your fault?”

“I kissed Peter okay? I just really like him” ay/n shrugged her shoulders and looked at Peter as she said this words. It was true, she really did like him and his dorky side.

“I’m really sorr-”

“I gave you one single rule, stay away from her, and you go and do the exact opposite!” Y/n’s father closed his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “We’ll have a long talk in a moment, if you are gonna be dating my daughter we must settle some rules first, but now let’s get down for dinner, We’ll talk later kiddo.”

Mr. Stark finally left the room. Y/n looked at Peter as she said.

“Sooo, we dating now?”

“I’d love to”

The girl smiled at Peter before taking his hand, leading the way towards the kitchen.

“Did you really break my father’s rules?”

As he stared at her he realised she looked perfect with her messy hair, swollen lips and her hand interlocked with his.

“Well, I learned from the best”

tags: @mellowmew20 , @harrysbbby , @twdpansy, @raindancer2004 , @redrebelgaming , @herbeautifuldarkness , @trinityjadec , @aimeepeeps , @fandomingforever , @sylviestars , @julesimba , @netzoflix , @deanwinchesterisnotonfire , @settlebackeasy , @eabha-no , @anthonystoner , @this-is-not-an-inspirational-url , @llamazarecoolaf , @icat8 , @marveldirewolf

SPECIAL S/O TO @nutmeg030 FOR LISTENING TO MY RAMBLING AND MAKING THIS SECON PART POSSIBLE! I love youuuu!

Thank you so much to everyone!

The History of the RFA

*I was gonna put a keep reading but decided against it. I stop where I did because the events go differently depending on the route you take. Should I do one for each route???*

*Inspired by “The History of the World, i guess” and “The History of Japan.” Just imagine that voice reading this or it’s not gonna be as good.*

Hi, hello there, here you are. 

You’re at an apartment. But whose apartment is it? We’ll get to that later.

Knock knock, here’s a blonde girl. Who is that?

She thinks “wow I really like photography, I’m gonna go to a gallery” So she goes to a gallery.
Then she meets this guy 

Yeah that guy.
But who is that guy?

He’s a photographer and he likes her hair. So he says “wow, I really like your hair, what’s your name?”

so Rika says “Oh thanks, I like yours too, it’s a weird shade of blue. My name is Rika”

and V says “Oh wow is that you’re real name? We’re Korean, that doesn’t sound like a very Korean name unless one of your parents is foreign or maybe they just wanted to name you something foreign, y’know?” 

and so Rika says 

and V doesn’t say anything else.

Oh look now they’re dating! They’re religious people who like church. One day they’re at church.
Oh hey who’s that cherry-headed kid over there scavenging for food? 
“Oh shit,” V says, “That looks like someone who could really use our help”
Then he says:

and then the little cherry kid said

Then he says “Oh but my name is Saeyoung”

“Yes,” V whispers under his breath, “Our first great act of kindness”
So V and Rika see this kid at the church all the time after mass and bring bread for him. Yay bread.
Turns out Saeyoung’s twin brother, whose name is Saeran, is the weaker one. 

Yeah that one.
His dad’s in some deep political shit and his mom’s blackmailing his dad because his dad won’t tell the people voting for him about the kids he has so the mom threatens to tell the world if he doesn’t give her money and all she does is spend that money on alcohol

“Wow that really sucks,” V says, and comes back a few weeks later with an offering. “Hey I have an idea. How about we take you and give you a new life. You and your computer skills can get you a rad job and then we’ll take care of your brother for you. The catch is that you have to abandon him and become a completely new person.”

“Woah,” Saeyoung says. “I can’t do that, are you crazy”

“No,” V says,

“No,” Saeyoung says.

“But you should,” V says, “It’s best for him.”

“Are you sure,” Saeyoung says.

“Totally,” V says. “You just met me. Trust me though, it’s gonna go smooth.”

So Saeyoung says yes and they take him in where he’s

, converted to catholic and given the cool name “Luciel”
It’s got something to do with not wanting to be a fallen angel but let’s forget about him right now.

A few years later. Surprise! V and Rika wanna start a group together. What are they gonna do in the group?

“But wait” says Rika

“What is it?” says V

“What are we gonna call this group?” 

They have to think of something clever. Something super smart but also obvious so everybody knows their intentions. So they decide to call it

“But wait,” Rika says again, “We can’t just do this by ourselves. We need more people. I have a cousin”

“I have a childhood friend who talks to only me because other people don’t understand our rich lifestyle,” says V

“Oh hold on,” says Rika, “there’s another guy who’s really good at acting and had a pretty shitty childhood, we gotta invite him too”

“That’s pretty dank,” says V, “And my friend that I mentioned previously has an assistant that he can invite.”

“Wait, what about that kid from earlier?” says V.

They hold parties and make money that they donate and everything’s fine. Let’s go forward a little.

Knock knock. 

Who is it now??

Rika’s been struck by mental illness that’s causing her to have delusions. Well this isn’t good.

“I’ll help,” says V
So he takes her to a therapist. But she doesn’t wanna go to the therapist so she stops going to that therapist. Not that she goes to another one. She doesn’t go to a therapist at all.

“I wanna make a cult,” Rika says, “it’ll be totally chill. like a paradise, let’s do it”

“Woah,” V says, “You can’t just make a cult”

“Hey, that’s bullshit,” Rika says, “You can’t tell me what to do”
Then she jabs him in the eyes. Well, we don’t know if she jabbed him in the eyes yet. What she did to his eyes is unclear for now.

Oh no, V’s vision is deteriorating slowly over time. Now Rika’s run off to start her cult.

“Shit,” V says, “I can’t tell the RFA about this, what the hell do I do? Oh wait, I know:”

Woah. Now everyone’s heartbroken and there’s a funeral held for her. In fact, everyone’s so heartbroken that they stop holding charity parties for like two years.
Also Rika’s cousin really hates V for some reason.

Fast forward.
Ding ding. You just got a text. 

Now you’re inside a stranger’s apartment. Surprise again! Your phone suddenly opens up a random chatroom with five people talking about random stuff in their life.

Hey but wait, who are you?

Now they think you’re a hacker and you have to explain what happened and how you ended up in the apartment. You don’t know who this “Rika” or who this “V” is that they keep mentioning but whatever it probably isn’t important.

So you tell them, and they realize you can’t leave because something’s clearly weird, right? So now they’re faced with a dilemma 

Terrible Twos(Batboys)

Bruce:

  • Okay let’s get something straight.
  • This man has only had to take care of kids from like 10 and up.
  • He never had to deal with an actual child.
  • Jesus Christ this man is so unprepared.
  • And with his genes, it’s probably much worse.
  • But hey, you’re the best at hide & seek.
  • If you thought he didn’t sleep before that oohh boy.
  • He’s probably crying internally.
  • Screaming children are not his thing
  • But let’s get another thing straight,
  • He still loves you.
  • With all his damn heart.
  • And he will do his best to protect you and make you feel loved.
  • He probably reads every parenting book he can find
  • Before eventually going to Alfred.
  • And man Alfred is a f**king champ.
  • He knows everything.
  • Meanwhile everyone is panicking and frantically searching for you, Alfie over here just casually pulls the cabinets open and picks you up.
  • “Aren’t you a curious little lad/lady? Just like your father.
  • (I think this turned into an alfred headcanon lmao)
  • Alfred helps Bruce set the bed time(god does this man even know what a bed time is??)
  • He also help with proper foods.
  • But let me tell ya.
  • No matter how busy Bruce is, no matter where he is, he manages to always read a bedtime story, and wish you sweet dreams.
  • If anyone were to ever hurt you, whether it be emotional, physical, or mentally, he will give them hell.

Dick:

  • My oh my
  • My boy has so many nicknames for you.
  • And they’re all weird as heck.
  • Every weekend he steals you(no, literally jumps through your window and kidnaps you) for a playdate.
  • Takes you out for icecream and to the amusement park a lot
  • You’re spoiled rotten because of this guy.
  • Honestly is probably the easiest to bond to.
  • But he doesn’t spoil you too much.
  • At some point in time, Alfred puts his foot down.
  • Movie nights of Disney are frequent.
  • So many recordings of his baby sister singing and dancing.
  • If Bruce somehow isn’t able to read to you, he’s over in a flash with 3 books, reading them to you. 
  • Later, when Bruce is back, he reads to you the next night.

Jason:

  • Probably has so many shirts with funny texts on them
  • “Touch my sister punk and I’ll knock ya into next week”
  • Carries you around everywhere.
  • All his teammates coo at you.
  • Meanwhile Bruce is having yet another heart attack.
  • One time he found you with his helmet on wobbling and trying to act like him.
  • He dies(again)
  • Tough Brother TM
  • He babies you though.
  • Like if you cry 11/10 times he spoils you.
  • He just doesn’t like seeing his sister cry.
  • Bizzaro loves playing with you though.
  • He makes sure not to be rough when playing though.
  • AFTER ALL YOU ARE JUST THE TINIEST HUMAN HE HAS EVER SEEN

Tim:

  • Surprisingly, it isn’t Bruce or Dick who are the first to be there when you have a nightmare.
  • He’s always there.
  • He is so overprotective too.
  • Sets extra cameras around your room and the manor.
  • So when you stir awake from a nightmare, he stops what he’s doing and sits down with you, bringing his laptop with him to continue working.
  • Bruce walked one time to find you both passed out next to each other.
  • You were clinging to his hair but Tim did not care at all.
  • “TIM MOVE YOUR COFFEE!!”
  • “Oh….oH SHIT DON’T DRINK THAT
  • Lets you sit on his lap while he’s working.
  • One time you actually helped him with his work.
  • He couldn’t figure out a code and he was almost there and you pressed on of the keys and YAY code solved.
  • Still to this day thinks it’s coincidence. It probably was but-
  • He can never be mad at you though. Like, sometimes you’ll get into things an he just sighs and moves you away.
  • Don’t get me wrong though, he does tell you that what you did was bad.

Damian:

  • “They are my blood sibling therefore we have more connection and I’m of more importance to them”
  • Yeah okay Dami.
  • Dude your room is like, overflowing with pets.
  • I mean you as a kid appreciate it but Bruce cannot keep track of every animal to feed, and how to keep Jason from not eating them, and jesus christ is that another chicken-
  • “What do you mean she can’t hold a sword?”
  • DAMIAN SHE’S TWO
  • If you show him your drawing he gives honest criticism.
  • You probably don’t understand half of what he’s saying.
  • So you giggle and move on.
  • He keeps all of your drawings though.
  • He shows them off to Jon a lot.
  • Jon gives him a confused look but enjoys them nonetheless.
  • “Dami!”
  • “YOU HEAR THAT SHE SAID MY NAME PEASANT SCUM!!”
  • LANGUAGE
  • “Scum!!”
  • DAMN IT DAMIAN

so i was reading this magnificent fic named “quid pro quo” by anon8043 (pls read if you haven’t yet, it’s amazing trust me) and there’s this scene towards the end… i couldn’t get it out of my head okay.

hazyxthoughts  asked:

"How do I send texts again? I press this?" "No, wait, don't! Oh shit you sent it to ALL YOUR CONTACTS!!" "I DID WHAT"

This prompt literally made my shitty exhausting day a hundred times brighter and I love you for it.


Draco: Listen, Weasley, I have a favour to ask of you. Humongous favour. One that you can never tell anyone about if you don’t want to lose your balls, your dick and your nipples all at once.

Ron: *alarmed* I’m listening?

Draco: See, since Harry is on a mission and I can’t physically reach him I would like to send him some photos, to, khm, keep him entertained. And I forgot how to send photos along with texts.

Ron: *nervous* What kind of, umm, photos exactly?

Draco: *smirks* Exactly the kind you’re thinking about.

Ron: Uhhh

Draco: C'mon Weasley. I will cover your ass in front of Granger for a whole year.

Ron: Really? Hmm..she does go hard on me sometimes… Circe, fine. I just hope I don’t go blind from seeing your ugly naked arse. 

Draco: Ugly? Potter begs to differ. *winks*

Ron: *chokes*

Draco: *takes out his spell phone* Look, these are all the photos I want to send.

Ron: *squints at them sideways*  MERLIN’S MIGHTY MOUSTACHE. *covers his eyes with his hand*  How much must I have sinned in this life to deserve to see this. *opens his eyes a tiny bit * NO! No! Don’t click on it. That’ll only enlarge it and I don’t think I’ll survive seeing your ass up clos-  ohmygod I see your balls too and is that your di- OHGOD *closes eyes*

Draco: Stop being so dramatic, Weasley. My ass, as well as my other parts, is exquisite. Now, how do I send these again? I press this, right?

Ron: NO! No, wait, don’t! Oh shit, you sent it to ALL YOUR CONTACTS!!

Draco:  I DID WHAT?

Ron: *whispers in shock* You sent it to everyone.

Draco: *squeaks* EVERYONE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN EVERYONE? ARE YOU TELLING ME MY FATHER WILL RECEIVE THIS PHOTO??!!

Ron: YOUR FATHER HAS A SPELL PHONE?

Draco: Of course, he does! He likes to keep up with the trends!

Ron: *doubles over, starts heaving from laughter*  I JUST WITNESSED LUCIUS MALFOY BEING SENT DICK PICKS BY HIS OWN SON THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE I AM LIVING