oh shit my bad i mean

anonymous asked:

Your poetry is incredible. You need to write books or something. I cried and it's so well written and I liked the ABC thing. It was really moving. I hope this doesn't sound disrespectful or like I'm romanticizing what you've been through. It really made me feel things.

no oh my god this !!! makes me feel so unbelievably…. warm & happy holy shit. i am beaming. thank u so much like it means so much to me that u think im a good writer & that my poems made u feel things like!!!!!! thank u so much sweet friend thank u soooo so mch😭❤❤❤❤

how to swear in norwegian like a pro
  • faen i helvete - fucking hell
  • satan i helvete - fucking hell ( google translate: satan in hell )
  • jævla satans helvete - fucking hell ( google translate: fucking satans hell )
  • hva faen da? - wtf?
  • faen å - for fucks sake
  • hva i helvete? - wth?
  • drit i det - forget it ( google translate: shit in it )
  • kødder du? - are you kidding me?
  • faen! - shit or fuck, technically means devil
  • di jævla hestekug - you fucking horse cock
  • jævla hore - fucking hore
  • jævla kug - fucking cock
  • oi - oh shit but also ops!
  • øøøøøøøøøø - ew
  • bæ - the sound that sheep make
  • herregud - oh my god
  • helvete - hell
  • øøøø faen så jævlig ekkelt! - that’s fucking gross
  • faen da ! - fuck it or fucks sake 
  • fy faen - fuck or for fucks sake or damn ( directly translated :  bad fuck )

@ norske, add på flere hvis dere kommer på noen

when your emotionally abusive parents hit you with a guilt trip like “i’m doing my best” “i’m not perfect” “i love you and would never mean to hurt you” etc.

and even though you’re the child and have no power over them you still find yourself thinking “oh shit, what if I’M the abusive one”

heartbreak chronicles {2} | M

PT 1 | PT 2 ONGOING

Contains: smut, sexting {fuckboy!jimin}

Words: 5,764

Summary: Park Jimin had it all — good grades, a place as the soccer team’s captain and, more than that, the broken hearts of at least half the campus’ population. Though, one thing he did not have was someone willing to break his heart and, after you were dragged inside a miraculous plan to play that part, the last thing counted on was the preposterous idea that, perhaps, you could fall for him as well.

[img cr]

A/N: Can you believe that I managed to come up with a quick update? Me neither.

Monotone, drowning in tedium — that was how your first Monday class begun. Somewhere deep inside your mind, you could hear your teacher going on about an empty subject, filling the air inside the classroom with disconex sentences and incomprehensible claims; your own perception far beyond the yellowed walls of that room. Perhaps, sitting on the last row was not helping your lack of focus; but, much to your personal bliss, Jennie was right next to you, taking the notes you would make sure to use later.

In all honesty, your mind was in the same location as before: the party. Equivalent to what unfolded during the weekend, the story repeated itself amidst your tired daydreams; dragging your consciousness towards the bubbling, divergent feelings inside your chest. Unlike what you first expected, the anguish and guilt of your acts did not last longer than the ride back to your dorm, instead morphing into a sense of curiosity. After all, there were so many details that you waited to be presented with — the second step, the collateral damage it would have on your friendship and, more than anything, Jimin’s reaction.

You just did not expect it would come that instant.

The cloudy preoccupations of your chaotic thoughts dissipated as a light buzz sounded below you, your phone lighting up with a new notification. With a frown, you stared down at the illuminated screen, eyes falling to the white text.

The second you read it, your heart skipped a beat.

[10:22] Jimin: we need to talk

Keep reading

Obsessions Part 1

I slap the huge ass my cock is buried deep in and give one last final pulse, shoving myself as deep as I can into him with my 9 inch dick. The fatass lets out a moan and I grope his huge love handles, cumming at the same time the fat pig in front of me cums. I pull myself out, hit my wet cock against his jiggly butt, and roll him over. I fall onto his huge belly, not even sure if he can feel my toned 160lbs resting on his close to flabby 500. After a few moments of enjoying my personal water bed, I speak up.

“You should probably get going soon, it’s almost 2 am…” I say, hoping he’ll ask to stay a bit longer. But, as they always do, he takes in a deep breath and prepares to get his huge body out of bed. I help him clean off and get dressed, and within a few minutes he’s waddling out my front door. I watch him go down the apartment hallway, his ass jiggling like it had been in my bed only minutes before. As he steps in the elevator, his side moob hits the frame and sends his belly shaking. I give a casual wave and turn around to go back into my room, but I knock into something sturdy, not really paying attention this late at night. Instantly, I’m not surprised.

“Oh sorr- Wait! What the hell Carter, let me in my room.” I assertively say, trying to get passed his tall, almost naked frame. I don’t have time for his bullshit tonight. Every time I hookup with someone Carter always pops up right after they leave, like some sort of fucking stalker. He lives in the apartment opposite mine; I’d be more scared if he weren’t so literally obsessed with me. I always wonder if he stands there all night watching the peephole, waiting for me to come out. It’s fucking creepy if you ask me. Every time I hookup he saunters out in minimal clothing and gives me a hard time. I barely glance at his disciplined abs and bulging biceps. He’s got a bubble butt going on, but still not even close to big enough for my tastes.

“I’ll let you go if you answer this:” Carter says, playing coy. “You’ve had seven guys, that I know of, over in the last semester. All of them are gigantic whales, but you won’t even look twice at me.” He drops his voice and leans against the wall with his dense arm just above my shoulder, trapping me. Our faces almost touch. Despite his shit personality, he’s definitely not ugly. “What’s up with that, Josh?” He lets my name linger on his lips. God, I wish he weren’t taller than me. I wouldn’t consider myself short, standing at 5’10, but he’s 6’4 and all lean muscle. There’s no way I can escape his beefy trap.

“You’re not my type, Carter. I don’t hookup with assholes.” I aggressively explain, trying to get him to leave me alone. He smirks and half laughs.

“Apparently your ‘type’ is too fat to wipe to his own ass. Tell me I’m wrong.” He egotistically demands. He knows he’s right, I can see the victory in his shit colored, piercing eyes. He’s not going to budge.

“So what if I’m not as shallow as you?” I ask. “Maybe I don’t care about body fat percentages and negative BMI’s.”

“Say it.” He whispers. “Say you like them fat.” A strand of shitty, medium length, wavy hair falls in his face, but he doesn’t seem to notice.

I’m annoyed. “For christ’s sake Carter, I like fat guys. Not gym rats who won’t take no for an answer.  Now let me in my fucking room.” I shove him off me, he doesn’t resist. “And stop watching me through your peephole, it’s creepy as shit.” I tell him as I unlock my door.

“Like I have time for that,” Carter scoffs, watching me. “I can hear the fatties’ footsteps from a mile away, genius.” My door won’t unlock; god this is awkward. He can feel the tension too. “But hey, let me help you with that, handsome.” His tone changed to something nicer. He comes behind me, grabbing the key from my hand. He unlocks the door and squeezes my shoulder. “Goodnight.” He says, sweetly.

“Go change your underwear, I can see the precum starting to show through.” I say, shutting the door in his face. I bet those puppy dog eyes would make any other man drop his boxers immediately, but I’m not falling for it. He’ll have to gain a few hundred pound before I look twice at his twitching bulge.

/

The next day I go to my morning classes on campus, which is only a few minutes’ drive away from my single bedroom apartment. Everything’s been pretty stressful this semester, I’m really glad it’s almost over. I’ve barely gotten to hang out with my friends lately, especially with finals week approaching. It’s only my sophomore year as an art major, I shouldn’t be spending every waking moment in the studio or with my head up an art history textbook.

I grab a bite to eat on campus and head over to the student gym, looking to destress before having to write a monster essay tonight. I change clothes, put in my earbuds, and get on a vacant treadmill. Running’s always cleared my head, ever since I started doing cross country in junior high. I even got pretty good at track throughout high school. I’m zoned out, thinking about a particular race when I realize my treadmill’s going faster.

I look down and see a large hand turning my speed up. I follow the hand up a muscled arm and a broad shoulder to a face that could belong to a model. His soft lips are moving, but my music is too loud to hear. I shove his hand off my settings and take out an earbud.

“What do you want now, Carter?” I ask, not really caring to hear the answer. I don’t know if he followed me to the gym or if he just never leaves this place.

“Besides for you to go out with me tonight? I want you to turn your speed up, maybe even lift a little with me today. You know I could get you stronger.” He tells me with that shit eating smile.

I turn off my treadmill. “Look,” I reiterate. “I don’t go out with beefed up muscle jocks who stalk me. Now please, go bother any other twink in this gym.”

He’s not giving up. He sighs, “Josh, what do I have to do to get you to go out with me?”

I sigh. “If you really want me to go out with you, gain 50 lbs of fat. If you can get up to 230 lbs without working out, we have a date. Until then, you leave me the fuck alone.” He thinks for a moment before opening his dumb mouth.

“Okay, deal.” He decides, holding out his hand. I shake it, knowing he’ll never actually go through with this.

///

Over the next several weeks, I don’t see Carter. Not in our building, not in between classes, not even at the gym. I don’t hear him, I don’t smell him, I don’t even think about him. Between trying to balance my social life and figuring out how I’m going to get through finals, Carter totally escapes my mind. I even have a 400 pounder come over and, for the first time, Carter doesn’t show his creepy ass up. Maybe I had been too harsh on him, maybe he wasn’t actually stalking me. Coincidences can happen, right?

The weather gets colder and classes come to an end. The day after my last final I pack up a few of my things and get ready to drive home for the 6-week long break. On my way to my car, a pillow falls out of my box of stuff and onto the parking lot concrete.

“Here, let me get that for you,” I familiar voice calls. I turn the other way and see Carter walking over to me. He’s got a sizable greasy bag of fast food in one hand and a very large soda in the other. That’s really unusual for him. Where’s his protein powder and vegetable shakes? He puts the food down and grabs the pillow, now caked in light snow. He dusts it off and puts it back in my box.

“Hey, thanks.” I say. “… I also wanted to apologize for before. For being a dick and everything. I’m sure you’re not as bad as I made you seem, so… Sorry.” I’m not the best with apologies, but I mean what I say.

“Don’t worry about it,” Carter tells me with a shit-eating smile. “Is our deal still on?”

“What deal? OH, wait.” I remember. “Oh my god Carter, I can’t believe you took that seriously.” This fucking boy still can only think about sex.

“Hey man, we shook on it. That makes it official.” He’s not fazed by my annoyance. Maybe he’s just joking around. I wish I could see his frame better, but he’s wearing a thick coat. It’d look better on him if he gained 50 lbs, but I really hope that’s not his plan.

“Fine, you got me.” I confess. “The deal is official. I’ve got to get going, though. Got a long drive ahead of me.” We say goodbye and he hugs me. It wasn’t the worst hug in the world, he’s just so… stiff.

I put my things in my car and look in my rearview. I see Carter struggling to enter our building with so much food in his beefy hands.

////

6 weeks later. I really needed that break. I missed a lot of my friends and family back home, and it was great seeing all of them again. I really enjoyed myself, not thinking about school, stress, Carter, or anything else that’s awful.

Saying that, it all came flooding back as soon as I entered my old apartment room. As soon as I set my stuff down on the living room floor, I notice a photo in front of my door, as if someone had slid it under while I was away. It’s a picture of someone looking down on a scale reading “230.2lbs”. On the back is written “Let me know when we’re on, -Carter”. Fuck. Instantly I feel terrible for so many reasons. This can’t be real, right? I decide to just ignore it until it comes up again. Classes start up again tomorrow and I’m hardly ready, anyway.

Tonight in bed I mentally go through the timeline of everything that’s happened since we made that deal. It’s been at least two months. Can someone even gain 50 lbs in that short of a time period? This has to be a joke. No guy in their right mind would actually put on 50 lbs just for some random guy like me. It just doesn’t happen. At least, I don’t think it does.

/

On Tuesday evening I’m woken from a nap by a knock on my front door. I get off my couch and go look through the peephole to see who it is. The guy’s tall and standing kind of close, so all I can really see is his slight double chin and pudgy chest. I open the door, wanting to see who the cute pudge belongs to.

“Hey there handsome, did you see the picture?” Carter asks when I open the door.

Holy shit, though. This is definitely not the same Carter I left behind weeks and weeks ago. This man is changed, suddenly I want to impress him. I always knew that he’s a few years older than me, but I’ve never felt so young. He’s still Carter, just fatter and cute as hell. Is it bulking season, or did he do all of this for me? I’m not sure what to do in this situation, this isn’t something they teach you to deal with in college.

“Uhhhh.. Um, yea,” I stutter. “I just didn’t believe it until now. Here, come in.” I move to the side, welcoming him in. “Have a seat.” I gesture towards the couch, trying not to stare.

Trying not to stare at what? Trying not to stare at his beginner gut. It’s absolutely gorgeous in his tight blue workout tank. The smallest sliver is poking out; I can see just a hint of a stretched out happy trail. He may be 230lbs, but he’s also 6’4. Despite his height to fat ratio, he carries the weight well. He heavily walks passed me and I see his beautiful ass through his painted on light grey sweatpants. So plump, so round, so in my living room. I can’t believe this just happened. He takes a seat and sinks into the couch cushion, you can tell he’s not used to being chunky just yet. He puts a stocky arm around the back of the couch and looks back at me.

“You gonna si?” He asks with those eyes that stare into my soul. Without saying anything, I sit on the opposite end of the couch, facing him. “So…” Carter starts, awkwardly. I realize I’m just staring at him, but I don’t know what to say. How can you put words into your mouth when all you can think about is putting his dick there instead?

“Soo…” I try to start. “About the date.” He’s face goes down, like he thinks his work was all for nothing. I can tell his heart is beating as fast as mine. Do I feel like how I make him feel? Is this always how it’s been for him? “How about right now?” I ask, nervously. I can’t stop glancing down as that sliver of belly peeking out at me.

“Hmm, right now?” He’s smiling. “I dunno, I’m kind of hungry..” He puts a hand on his modest gut and sends it shaking. Two months ago there were thick abs there.

“Oh yea? Hungry for what?” I ask, ready for whatever he has to say.

“Mmmm, I dunno. Maybe some cookies, maybe some pizza… maybe some cock.” He explains, sending shivers down my spine. I think this is how every other man on earth reacted to him when he was nothing but muscle. I definitely see the appeal of him now, it’s obvious why he was so full of himself. I wonder if his sharp jawline brought the same reaction out of others that his now almost double chin is bringing out of me.

“I’ll order you a pizza,” I barter, scooting close to him. “If I get to take this off of you,” I say, pulling at his shirt. “It’s getting a little tight, don’t you think?”

He’s smiling like a dork- his cheeks have the slightest amount of fat in them. “I’ve got Pizza Hut on speed dial, I’ll take care of the pizza if you take care of the rest.” He negotiates. I nod in agreement.

After he’s done ordering a large meat-lovers and a two liter, I tug his shirt off. He’s flabby as all hell. I run my hands over him as I press my face against his. His tongue plays with mine, like he knows he’s wanted this for so long. I fee his flab, all of it. I make sure that not a single pound goes unnoticed. Before long the pizza’s here, and I send Carter off to the bedroom. When I step in the room, he’s naked with his chubby legs crossed. Saving the best for last, I guess. I take my clothes off and get on top of him, my hard cock pressing into his fat gut. I feed him slice after slice of greasy pizza, making sure he eats the crust. No calories wasted, not when you’ve got someone this beautiful to feed. His greedy mouth opens for each bite, waiting to have food shoved in him. He’s too good at this, I know he has to be into it too. When he’s eaten all of the pizza and drunken most of the soda, I pick up stray pizza sausage and throw the last bits into his mouth and kiss him long and hard. He tastes like grease; he tastes like greed. I sit back on his lap and feel his boner poking at my defined ass. I lay down next to him, feeling his fatter sides already starting to mold into my thin frame. I grab his cock and go to work, and he does the same for me. I can feel his whole body jiggling with each stroke. I kiss him, feeling his thick neck shake from the movement below. Soon, we cum at the same time.

Half an hour later we’re still in bed, my head laying on his puffy chest. We haven’t said a word. It’s not late, and I’m not tired, but I am dozing in and out of sleep. I decide to ask before he decides to leave.

“So…” I start, awkwardly. “You actually did it. You actually got fat.”

Carter takes a beat. “If you can even call me fat yet, yea I guess. I just knew that I wanted you, and that I was tired of going to the gym all the time. I was thinking about becoming a personal trainer, but I hated the thought of making other people fit all the time when I want to look like… Well, like this.” He lets his hand fall on his gut and my head bobs on his chest. “If you weren’t into it, I was just going to play it off as a hardcore bulk.”

“I definitely am into it.” I tell him, genuinely. “Also, if you ever want to go on an actual date, I think I might like that.” I don’t usually fall for guys, but this fat boy is getting to me. Maybe it’s just pillow talk, but I think I might like him.

“Yeah, I think I might like that too.” He says, and pulls me closer.

We spend the rest of the night together, not saying much. It’s nice to just be with him. Before bed I feed him some oreos and milk, which he happily devours. The tubby man can eat like a horse. I don’t ask him to stay the night, but I don’t need to. I fall asleep in his still strong arms.

//

That Friday, we have our first date. I haven’t seen him since that night we spent together. It’s only been a few days, but being away from him has given me some clarity. As much as I hate to admit it: I have a crush. It’s official. I can’t get him out of my mind. Not when I’m in class, not when I’m working out, not even when I’m with my friends. It goes without saying that I’ve been looking forward to this date since the second he left my apartment.

~~~~~~~

It’s Friday and I haven’t seen Josh in days. After months of chasing after him, giving him my all, and gaining 55lbs, we finally fucked. Four times. In one night. I’ve never chased after someone like how I chased after him. No matter what I tried, though, he always got pissed off at me for no real reason. I never cared though, I just tried to show him that I’m not as horrible as he thinks. I wish I knew why he always thought I was stalking him. We live right across from each other, went to the same university, and worked out at the same gym. I didn’t think it was a crime to say hello.

Maybe I did go overboard, though. Sometimes, he’d hookup with these gargantuan men. My temper would get the best of me, especially when it was late. Not gonna lie, I was always jealous of those men. They don’t care what size they are, they’re fat and getting fucked by Josh. There’s not more that you could want. At least, there’s not more that I could want. I don’t like to talk about it, but I’ve always wanted to let go and be fat. I fucking love food.

My friends have been concerned, but I tell them I’m just doing a long bulk. I think they see through the bullshit. I used to work out seven days a week, and that’s completely stopped. Before the deal, I can’t remember the last time I had eaten more than 2000 calories in a day. Small portions of grilled chicken salads were replaced with double quarter pounders and dozens of donuts. I think the last time I drank water was a few weeks ago. At first my body rejected soda, but now I can’t start my day without a bottle or two of coke. I received a glass dessert display for a Christmas gift a few years ago, but it hadn’t seen much action until the past few months. I forgot I had a sweet tooth. I know if I want to stuff more in me, I can always handle more sweet shit.

As I shower, I think about the way Josh smiles. I think about how one side of his face lifts slightly higher than the other and how I fall for it every time. I can’t stop playing the moment of when he first saw me after break, dozens of pounds heavier. The shock in his dark eyes, the obvious hard-on in his shorts. I knew he wanted me, and I wanted him like never before. As I lather my body, I realize how utterly fat I’ve gotten over the past two months. Instantly my cock gets hard, but it doesn’t reach the height that it used to reach. There’s too much fat blocking it. I run my hands over my chest and feel it bounce. Deep down I know I want it bigger, I want all of it bigger. I’ve been stuffing myself since the day Josh and I made that deal. I haven’t even worked out, and it shows. My legs aren’t toned, my arms are getting flabby, and my chest is looking more feminine every day.

I dry off and grab a pair of jeans. 36’s and they’re skin tight. I suck in my gut to button them, and it hurts when they finally latch. I put on a white undershirt, knowing that my fat is going to strain the buttons on the size large black button up I’m putting on. Should I wear a bowtie? No, that worked when I was slim, but not anymore. I grab my belt and put it on, but realize I can’t it to reach where it’ll fasten. Fuck. I knew I should’ve bought a bigger one, but I was too busy jerking off and eating Burger King. What about suspenders? No, there’s no way I can tuck in this shirt. Maybe soon my belly will hide my straining pant button, but not yet. I’ll just have to deal with it. I do my hair casually messy in the mirror. I’m still hot as fuck, if you ask me. Just chubby now. Hopefully Josh will be impressed with the tight clothes, I think to myself. I can’t lose him this early in.

At 7pm I make the short walk to his door, wishing that it were colder out tonight. Maybe I could wear a jacket and hide the tight shirt, but that’s not really an option. I knock on the door and Josh quickly answers. He looks adorable in a well-fitting cardigan and black skinny jeans, the kind of jeans I used to wear. As soon as he sees me he pushes his cute glasses up and takes a moment. “Hey,” I say with a smile. I want him to feel comfortable around me.

“Hey.” He says, like he’s not sure what to do. He’s eying me up and down and trying to hold back a smile. He bites his lip, I step closer.

~~~~~~~~

Carter steps closer to me and I basically lose control. I swear he looks fatter than he did days ago, but maybe it’s just the tight shirt he’s wearing. I wish he weren’t wearing an undershirt, though. Belly peeking through buttons is always a plus. Not to mention that he’s not wearing a belt. I can’t tell if it’s because his jeans are so tight that he doesn’t need one, or if he outgrew his biggest. Despite that, and despite my horniness, I really am glad to see him. That’s why as soon as things get awkward I wrap my arms around him and hug him like a child. I don’t want him to see how he makes me smile an idiot’s smile.

He takes me out to his car, a big truck. I don’t know much about cars, but I know that this is a very douchy truck. Not surprising, but I’m trying to not be judgmental. Conversation with him gets a lot more comfortable as he drives, we actually have a lot in common. Apparently he started out as an art major, too, before his parents pressured him to switch to finance. It surprises me that (ex) Big Dumb Muscle Jock Carter from across the hall actually has a personality, completed with actual emotions.

We arrive at this fancy Brazilian meat restaurant. Carter says that you pay at the beginning and servers walk around you all night offering you different meats. I can’t eat that much but it sounds like the perfect place for him.

Carter pays for me at the beginning, and I’m so thankful. This place is expensive as hell. I ask him if he’d rather go somewhere more affordable, but he says he doesn’t mind. Over dinner, Carter makes sure to say yes to whatever sample of meat is brought to him. 20 minutes in and he’s already covered in exotic barbeque sauce and straining his shirt beyond its limits.

“You might wanna slow down there,” I tell him. “It looks like that shirt might burst.”

“Oh what? You mean like this?” He asks playfully and sits up. He leans over a bit and the second to bottom black button flies off and slides under a table across from us. A few of the men look at us before realizing what happened. I can’t help but laugh. His gut shook for a solid 5 seconds after the button pop. I don’t think this kind of thing usually happens at upscale places, but nobody seems to care.

Conversation continues, and I find out that Carter actually just graduated a semester early with a degree in finance. He recently got a job as an accountant at a law firm, which I guess explains how he can afford this dinner. It’s actually nice getting to know the man behind the musc- well, fat. There’s a lot more to him than I thought. He even compliments the paintings he’s seen in my apartment. I don’t tell him that I painted them, but I do note that he likes them.

~~~~~~~~

I’m getting painfully full as I finish telling Josh about my new job. He really is everything I thought he’d be. He even laughed when I accidentally popped a shirt button from stuffing myself too much.

Speaking of stuffing myself, my pants are really tight. I can’t go on much longer, and I just grabbed a large plate of lamb. I wipe my hands off and, while Josh is talking, subtly reach down under my gut and play with my button until it pops open. My stuffed gut releases itself and I let out a deep breath of relief. Josh looks at me and then looks to the side. He casually covers his mouth, but I know he’s grinning. I think he thinks he hides it well, but his eyes give his smile away. Just for him, I grab a plate of thick sausages from a passing waiter.

////

That date ended in a lot more food, and a lot of fucking. The entire weekend went the same way. Pretty much every weekend since then has, which hasn’t been the best for work. I try to find a good balance between hanging with my new coworkers and being with Josh, but my appetite always pushed me towards Josh. It shows, too. It’s only been a couple more months but damn I’m getting big. I actually have an overhang now, and a real double chin. I get so fucking out of breath, though. We only live on the second floor but I haven’t taken the stairs in so long. Not to mention that it’s getting hot outside. I didn’t know I could sweat this much. Did you know that fat guys sweat under their moobs? Also in between our fat rolls. It’s fucking ridiculous. I can’t tell if 267lbs is worth all this effort. It’s getting hard motivating myself to get up and go to work now, when all I really want to do is eat, fuck, jerk off, and eat more.

I had to buy all new clothes when I hit 240. None of the larges were even close to buttoning, and neither were my pants. I’m glad nobody at work knows that 6 months ago I was body building, but they have noticed that I’ve put on some weight. One day, after a particularly big company lunch, I sat down in my office chair and my ass seam ripped all the way down. I had one of my buddies who, lives in my apartments, bring me another pair, which were equally as tight. I’m just glad I can hide my unbuttoned pants with my belly now. There’s not much I can do about shirts that always fucking ride up, though. I feel like a bloated balloon. A really fat balloon that can’t stop eating and is scared he’s gonna break his desk chair.

Josh fucking loves it though. He eats this shit up like how I eat cake. It’s like I’m getting addicted to fat and sugar, and I think I like it. Sometimes, especially when I’m really full, I’ll just eat more instead of fucking. I’ve been getting more fun out of it, and I can eat so much. I’ve been tracking my calories and usually I don’t eat less than 5,500 a day. I’m used to it; I’ve gotten used to the feeling of always wanting more. I think Josh is getting used to it, too. His favorite thing to do lately is to shove my man boobs together and try to fuck them. They’re not there yet, but I think they will be soon. He’ll fuck any part of me, any part that’s fat. Especially my ass. The other day he told me that my ass cheeks are getting to the size of my belly when I was 230. I almost came right there.

I’ve been gaining really fucking fast. I don’t know if I like it, and last night I brought it up with Josh before we went to get food. I told him I wanted to slow it down, but it was obvious he wanted the opposite. He told me that if I gain 40 more pounds by the end of his semester he’ll be my boyfriend. We never became official, and usually I don’t give a shit about that, but this is different. I’ve told him what I want before, but he has commitment issues. If I ever want this to turn into something other than weekend stuffings, I know what I gotta do.

It’ll be a lot easier now, considering what happened after that conversation.

~~~~~~~~~

Last night I went over to Carter’s place, as I usually do, but he seemed down. Laying on his bed, shirtless and rubbing his basketball sized gut, I assumed he was hungry. But he actually said that he’s been wanting to gain slower, or even stop. He looked so cute and innocent laying on the bed with those fat cheeks that I almost said okay, but in all honesty he’s still pretty skinny in my book. If he wants to be with me, like for real, he’ll have to be bigger. I think he’ll like it, I really do. I’m just not really into relationships. I’ve got way too much other stuff on my plate, and he’s still pressuring me to be with him full time. At the same time, though, he has gained a lot for me. Not to mention we do have fun when we’re together. We’ve only argued once since we’ve been together, and that was over which fried chicken place we should go to.

I told him that if he really wants to be with me, he’d have to gain 40 lbs in two months. If he can do it, I think I’ll know he’s worth getting tied down for. We even shook on it.

After that conversation, shit hit the fan.

We were in Carter’s truck on our way to this new Korean buffet his work friends told him about. He looked really good, at least by my standards. I’ve gotten so used to seeing him in tight, stained old shirts and small sweatpants he’s too lazy to get rid of, that him wearing pants and a dress shirt was basically shocking. He did look really handsome, his thick neck taking up his collar, the way his fat ass and thighs filled out those pants. It’s hard to believe that he almost became a personal trainer. I love the chubby, studly Carter much more than the muscled up asshole I once knew him to be.

We were having our usual conversation, talking about what he’s going to eat for me after the Korean buffet, when we passed a four-way intersection. Some drunk asshole ran his light and Carter, preoccupied with thinking about food, didn’t notice. Luckily he’s okay, kind of. His hip was shattered in the wreck and has been in and out of surgery since. He’s stable now, but everyone is still on edge. Carter’s dad came to see him in the hospital for their first time in months. He barely recognized Carter at first. One of the doctors told him that I’m Carter’s friend, and his dad came to talk to me. He looks a lot like how Carter did when he was fit, just an older version. He asked about the weight gain and the accident, and I lied my ass off. Hopefully it’ll all get sorted out soon.

It’s been a long 24 hours.

————————–

I hope you all liked part 1! If this gets over 160 notes I’ll write a part 2. And, as usual, feel free to message me with any suggestions, comments, or questions!

9

[Random] Yugyeom’s Caroline

I heard you done got you a dime piece, man
Hell naw, man
One of them Beyoncé, Meagan. Good types
Nah, nah, nah
Is that true, man?
I just wanna know
Probably not
I mean, shit to be honest with you, man, she’s a…

Bad thang, fine as hell, thick as fuck
Oh my god, that’s my baby
Caroline, you divine
Mighty fine

THIS EPISODE GAVE ME THE GIGGLES iiiiit’s POST-SPN SCOUTTHOUGHTS

  • “dad loved this thing” LMAO THE NEGAN REFERENCE I’M CRYIN THE BAT 
  • i’m sorry that is the best–their AU dad is a megalomaniac in a zombie apocalypse 
  • THE GISHWHES REFERENCE 
  •  finally sam has a dog. wait nevermind 
  • [lucifer voice] mm. kinky. 
  • oh my god i love these awkward business demons 
  • SATAN GETS HIS OWN DOG BUT SAM DOESN’T!? 
  • the thing keeping luci from talking omg this is hilarious 
  • JOSHUAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ….i like this new angel ;n; (EDIT: the angel i like is the new one talking to cas! i can’t recall his name lol)
  • RIP AWK BUSINESS DEMONS 
  • the glasses! :D 
  • OHHH DEAN IS GONNA BE PIIIIISSED 
  • the green cooler has made ITS ACTION DEBUT 
  • OHHHOOOH SHIT CROWLEY OHHH THIS IS SUPER COOL “this vessel is your cage” I HAVE WANTED THIS SO BAD 
  • NO! cas! you have! a HOME! ON EARTH

i hope this means WE’RE GOING TO GET SOME OF OUR OLD ANGELS BACK

Lesson 3: Witchcraft 101

Terminology and Basic Theory

By: Headmistress Trick

Live class date and time: 1/3/2017 @ 4:40pm

As with all things in the pagan community, I advise you research twice then come to your own conclusions. Your craft is YOUR CRAFT, this may not be a perfect fit for you, that it okay. We are all  the tailors of our own spiritual clothes.

This course will cover basic terms and tools, the beginner’s theory and practice of simple rituals and how to construct your own spells.

Things that will NOT be covered in this course: In-depth explanations of the various areas of magic. I will provide a basic grand overview, but the purpose of this class is not to delve into any one concentration of practice. If something you hear strikes your interest, please feel free to ask me for more information. If I don’t know about what you’re asking, I’ll find someone that does.


The Basics

The only thing you need to cast any spells whatsoever, is a witch. If you’re sitting in for this course, that’s probably you. You can call yourself any title you choose, practitioner, wizard, sorcerer, magician, crazy person, spiritualist, whatever… Anyway, to perform magick, that is the manipulation of energies to bring about an intended result. This can be done with or without the assistance of deities or entities outside one’s self.

Generally all workers,  even secular ones, have some sort of altar to use as a work space. These are highly personal spaces. They can be simple, grand, portable, stationary, cluttered, clean, whatever you like. It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive. In traditional Wicca, every tool has a place on the altar. This is by no means is something most practitioners still prescribe to. What you choose to have and use in your practice can be as minimalist or extravagant as you like. You can have all the tools or none of them. It is entirely up with you.

Statues, fetishes (these are small carvings,) or some kind of physical representation of gods or goddesses. Many consider this to be the house that you invite spirits, deities, or entities to inhabit when calling them for spells or rituals. Obviously if you’re secular this won’t be part of your practice.

Candles- Let’s be honest, an altar without a single candle, led or traditional, is a rare one indeed. They’ve a million uses in spells and have their own branch of magic aptly called candle magic.

Bowl- For keeping stuff in. When doing an elemental spell this is usually used to hold water, sand, salt, or dirt, but it can hold anything that needs containing.

Athame- This is a ritual knife. Some people use swords or daggers, some people use a grubby old pocket knife given to them by their great uncle. This is generally used for cutting or directing energy. It is not always sharp and there is a little bit of argument about whether it should be used for non-ritual purposes. Some say daily use dulls the magick inside it, others say it enhances it. I say, it is your knife, use it for what you like.

Bolline- A utility knife actually used for cutting physical objects. If you use your Athame as a functional knife you probably don’t need this.

Cauldron- If ever there was an image of a witch it was an old crone bent over a cauldron stirring away at something nasty bubbling over a fire. These can be used for bubbling toil and trouble, but also for a holding place for burning things.

Wand- Generally a thin stick thing for pointing and directing energy. This can be a myriad of objects from one’s fingers, pencils, spoons, actual sticks or specially crafted wands. Don’t let anyone tell you something can’t be a wand.

Mortar and Pestle- A small bowl with a little club for crushing, grinding and mixing herbs and spices. Be advised that wood, plastics and porous stones can pick up scents and flavours from the things you put in them. Do not use the same set for non-edible items that you do for ones you intend on eating.

Chalice- Fancy cup. Usually used for offering drinks to entities or passing around the group in a coven ritual. Traditionally this is in a goblet shape, but I’ve used a coffee cup in a pinch. Make sure whatever you use is food safe and easy to wash. Do not leave offerings sitting it until they get fuzzy.

Incense- This is sometimes used to represent air in elemental workings. It is best to avoid purely synthetic scents when possible. These will require some kind of holder. A fireproof container filled with sand can serve just as well in a pinch. If working in a group please be sure to ask about allergies and sensitivities to scents.

Grimoire- This is a witch’s go to book for all things that are important enough to write down. Just like a woman’s purse, one should never open and look through another person’s grimoire without express permission. Taking things that are not freely given from it is dangerous at best.

Broom- Used for sweeping energies, especially negative ones. Is wonderful for dissipating said energies.  Not for flying on. Sweep your floor and get the dust out along with the bad stuff.

Drums/bells- Sound can be useful for wards, driving away negative energy and calling attention. They’re also great for keeping time when dancing in a group.

Baskets, bottles, bins- For keeping stuff in. Don’t laugh.

Bucket of water/fire extinguisher- Candles can go from representations of fire to “oh shit my house is on fire” very quick. Safety first.

Stones, crystals, cords, fabric, oils, herbs, salt, flour, chalk - spell ingredients. They’ll end up everywhere unless you contain them in the baskets, bottles and bins I mentioned earlier.  DO NOT CAST CIRCLES OUTSIDE USING SALT. IT WILL KILL WILDLIFE.

Ritual Clothes- Special clothing is by no means a requirement, actually some people say this separates them too far from their craft, like putting on a costume. Others say it enhances the ritual experience for them. Whatever you are comfortable wearing should be what you practice in. Skyclad is a way of referring to being naked, by the way.

Divination tools- Tarot cards, runes, scrying mirrors, crystal balls, tea leaves. Only needed when planning on doing divination.

While none of these things are required to perform any spells, they can be helpful. No beginner should feel they have to break the bank to get a bunch of items they may or may not use. Be wary of materials of anything that will be touching your mouth or eyes. Cheap antique metals especially can sometimes contain lead. Used bookshops, thrift stores, flea markets and yard sales can be gold mines for things to use in your craft.

Many practitioners believe in cleansing and consecrating their tools before using them. They feel any strange energies coming into their space that wasn’t invited can contaminate their spells. There are as many methods of purification as there are stars in the sky, but some common methods are

Ground, cast a circle and call whatever energies into play that you wish to work with. Hold the item above your work space and “sweep” or “cut” away any unwanted energies while calling for the negative to be dispersed. Then you can set the item down onto your altar and  fill it with good energies and intents.

Smoke cleansing, passing a fireproof item briefly through candle flame, bathing in water (charged, rain or crystal water are commonly used for this practice), leaving it in direct sun or moonlight for a few hours or burying overnight in clean soil are also common ways of dealing with negative energies. Some believe a simple spiritual wipe down is all you need.

I have heard some practitioners say the repeat this process any time they use a tool in a ritual, and some simply when they feel the need recharging.

Whatever process you choose, make sure it is safe for you to use on the item and that you feel completely comfortable doing it. If you go into it with uncertainty or negative feelings, you’ll just be imbuing those into the item instead of cleaning it.

Now that you know what kind of tools you might be using, you probably are curious what kinds of magic you can perform. I by no means believe this is a completely comprehensive list. I’m only human after all.

Astral work- The art of using one’s mind to expand your presence and travel beyond one’s physical body.

Black/Dark/ Left Hand Path- This generally is anything that falls outside of the realm of white magic. This can include work that deals with death, blood, hexes, and gathering of power. Not always evil, not always good. This sometimes includes working with demons or fae, but certainly not always.

Cosmic- The use of planetary or celestial bodies in influencing one’s magical workings.

Candle- The use of color and shape correspondences in spells that use candles extensively.

Crystal/Stone/Lapidary- The use of correspondences of types of stones and gems in spells, using the natural energies found within  rock.

Herbalism/Green magic- The use of growing things to make your potions, spells and other magical workings. This generally includes gardening at some point.

Kitchen/Hearth/Cottage- This is household magic. Spells are woven into everyday cooking, cleaning and household tasks. This is a very vast area of magic that can encompass many other sections.

Knot/Cord/String- The use of string and cord for creating spells or charms. A very portable type of spellcasting.

Music/Sound- The use of singing, humming, playing musical instruments or otherwise creating sounds for spells.

Divination- Attempting to foretell the future through various means such as tarot, runes, scrying, reading tea leaves or palmistry.

Sigils, Symbols and Runes- Visual representations of concepts and intents in one’s craft. This can include esoteric alphabets and occult imagery.

Elemental- Working with one or all of the elements to bring about one’s intentions.

Weather- Working in conjunction with and influencing the weather

White/Light- Generally any magic that does not fall into the somewhat unsavory realm of “bad” magic. This does not mean this is the only right kind of magic to do.

There are literal hundreds of types and branches of magic, including specific pantheons of deities that I am not going to cover here, and ethnic or regional types of crafts. I always encourage you to seek out more information on your own.

Before we wind down I want to go over some other common terms that may or may not come up

Familiar- A companion, usually animal, that serves as a host to a spiritual entity or energy. They assist with workings and are generally good to have around. Please take good care of your familiars if you have them.

Coven- A group of witches or practitioners. You do not need one if you don’t want one, but they can be a great support group.

Spell- The working of magic itself.

Incantation- The spoken bit of the spell, absolutely does not have to rhyme, though that can help with memory recall. This can be in any language, though one you’re familiar with would probably be best.

Charm- An object that is created to hold an enchantment, usually carried or worn by the intended recipient.

Channeling- The controversial process of becoming host to another spirit of entity.

Three Fold Rule- The idea that whatever you send out will return to you three times over. This applies to both the good and the bad.

Potion- A mixture of ingredients usually meant to be swallowed by the person the magic is supposed to effect. Please never make a potion out of toxic or dangerous ingredients.

Ointment/Salve- Lotiony sort of stuff that goes on your skin.

Poultice- Soft wet mass of stuff you put on your skin. Usually contains herbs and other ingredients bound together with moss, gauze or flour and held on with a cloth wrapped around the body part

Correspondence- The relation between an item and the energy it influences. Like a type of stone being handy for working with psychic energies, or healing. Black candles being good for banishment and cleansing.  These are not always agreed upon by every magic user.

Enchant- to fill an item with energy or intention

Grounding- The release of negative energy and reaffirming one’s personal boundary of energy and influence

Sabbat- A festival, holiday or gathering for celebratory or ritual reasons

Pentagram vs Pentacle – If you are involved in craft that uses the star in the circle emblem, you should know that a pentagram is just the star, the pentacle is the whole thing within the circle. Calling it a pentagram makes you look like an ill informed goth kid. Always be a well informed goth kid.

Casting a circle- the act of creating both physical and metaphysical barriers for energies.

Shielding/ Warding- the creating of a protective barrier between your target and bad/unwanted things.

Binding- The attempt to hold someone or something and keep it from performing any harmful or unwanted actions.

Banishment/Purification- Casting out of bad energies or influences

Calling the Corners- The concept that the cardinal directions correspond to guardians or spiritual entities and calling upon them to serve as protectors for a ritual

Offerings/Sacrifices- Objects that are surrendered to an entity. Do not perform any kind of animal or blood sacrifice without fully understanding what you are doing and warning anyone else that might be involved in the process. Food, drinks, gifts and offerings of effort are generally more than enough to appease deities or spirits.

Please if you have any questions, please let me know. I will not be answering any questions about specific regional or cultural craft that I am unfamiliar with, but will try to find you resources or someone to speak to about them.

We will be reconvening for class on Sunday to do basic spellwork and go over some common correspondences. We will be doing a simple protection charm so please find an item you wish to enchant. It can be an item you use and keep on you daily or a found item. Any other things you would like to bring to share with the class of your own workings would be wonderful. Thank you and I hope you learned something new.

79. Language Kink

A Practical Lesson

Word Count: 571
Written by: @sexylibrarian1

Warnings: Swearing, dirty talk, light smut

Originally posted by relationshipaims

Russian, in your estimation, was a uniquely beautiful, yet harsh language, and when it came out of the mouth of one James Buchanan Barnes, otherwise known as the Winter Soldier, you called it downright sinful.

“Are you ready for your lesson, krasotka?”

“What did you just call me?”

Keep reading

You're A Dog Person, Right? (Seth Clearwater)

“Please?” I pleaded.

“Y/N you know I would if I could, but I can’t.” Seth, my boyfriend, explained for about the thousandth time.

“Seth, why can’t you tell me?!” I asked, getting more irritated with his secrecy.

“It’s not my secret to tell, Y/N!” he said.

“Okay, you’re making no damn sense! If it has something to do with you, it is your damn secret to tell! Come on, Seth.” I begged one final time.

“Y/N, I just can’t.” he said with a sigh.

“I’m done with this shit, Seth. Both you and Leah started keeping some big ass secret that y'all don’t want to tell anybody and so, I’m done.” I said, pushing myself off of the Clearwater’s couch.

“Y/N, please don’t do this to me. I can’t lose you.” Seth pleaded, grabbing my hand.

“We’re not supposed to keep secrets from each other, Seth. I haven’t ever kept anything from you, I expected the same.”

With that, I grabbed my stuff and walked out the door.

~

I stayed at home all weekend, not doing my traditional Saturday movie with Seth. I didn’t know if we were broken up or just in the middle of an argument or what, but it sucked.

One thing that did give me some happiness is that Seth didn’t give up. He was relentless. For the past two days, he had blown my phone up with texts and even more calls.

I heard a knock on my door while I was getting ready for school Monday morning.

I knew who it was before I got there but my heart still did a little leap when I opened the door and saw him again.

Even though he looked like shit.

“Y/N.” he said, taking me in.

Hell, I probably didn’t look too good either.

See, when I said that I was getting ready for school, I actually meant I was frantically looking for my last pair of black sweatpants and my hair hadn’t been properly combed/brushed in the past three days.

“Seth, its good to see you.” I said honestly.

“You too, baby.” he replied.

“Y/N, I’m ready to tell you.” he said, extending his hand out.

I took it without hesitation.

We hopped in his mom’s car and started back towards the reservation.

~

Seth led me to a patch of woods not far from Sam and Emily’s place.

He took my hands in his.

“I know this is unfair of me to ask, but please don’t freak out when everything is out in the open.” he laughed, nervously.

“Seth, come on. It can’t me that bad, can it?” I asked, rubbing my thumbs over his knuckles.

“Well…..” he laughed.

“You’re a dog person, right, baby?” he asked, walking away from me.

I looked behind me to check to see if there was anybody to help my poor little Seth, because he had apparently lost it.

“I mean yes, but I don’t see how that has anything to -” I turned back to see a gigantic, sandy colored wolf in front of me.

“Oh, my holy shit!” I screamed.

And I guess the universe thought this was some low budget, horror movie shit because my dumbass literally tripped over my own damn feet.

The wolf didn’t try to pounce or attack or anything. He just looked at me.

Then he started backing up and retreated back into the woods. I took this time to run back to Emily and Sam’s. I ran into their house, where all of our friends were.

“Guys, I just saw this big ass wolf out in the woods. It was like, I don’t even fucking know! And, I don’t even know what the hell happened to Seth! I think it might’ve eaten his ass!” I explained, breathlessly.

Just then, Seth came running up to the house.

“Holy shit, Seth! I thought that thing ate you!” I told him as I forced him into the tightest hug I could give.

“Y/N, that’s kinda what I wanted to talk to you about.” he said, shuffling me back to look at me.

He took me out to the porch steps.

“Seth, that big ass wolf might come back.” I said, frantically looking over my shoulder.

“I don’t think it will.” he said, pulling me down to sit with him on the step.

“Baby, that wolf was actually me.” he said, completely serious.

"What?” I asked, I must’ve heard that wrong.

“I’m that wolf. I’m a werewolf or shapeshifter, if you will. All of us are: me, Leah, Paul, Jacob, Jared, Quil, Sam, all of us.“ he tried to explain.

"Seth, baby. What in the actual fuck are you talking about?” I asked, extremely worried about my boyfriend’s mental

Seth, with the help of Leah, explained everything to me and Leah assured me that the wolf today was in fact Seth.

"Holy, shit.” I said, exhausted from today’s event.

“I know it’s a lot to take in and I get if you just need some time or whatever you-,” he started.

“So, you, Seth Clearwater turn into a giant, vampire fighting, wolfie soldier at will?” I interrupted.

“And we’re kinda soulmates,” he laughed.

I sat there, in between the Clearwaters, who were werewolves, in front of a house full of werewolves.

“So, like, are you going let me ride on your back or what?”

Game Grumps — LoZ: Ocarina of Time  {Sentence Starters}

  • “Good job, asshole!”
  • “I. WANT. MURDER!”
  • “Remember the potato.”
  • “I’m drunk… I’m a little drunk.”
  • “Oh my god. Just smother her.”
  • “Dude, stop hurting her feelings!”
  • “I think I’ll find a way to carry on.“
  • “You’re so insufferable right now.”
  • “It’s a masterpiece. Ten outta ten!”
  • “I love you. I love your fucking brain.”
  • “Wake up! Save the world! Wake up!”
  • “Oh, she is into you! Oh, that is the look!”
  • “Are… Are you gonna say anything or…?”
  • “Wow, she’s more angular than I remember.”
  • “You know what? That was bad timing for me.”
  • “They just kept going, undeterred. It was inspiring.”
  • “Are you fucking shitting all over both of my nuts?!”
  • “That was not funny, I dunno why I’m laughing at it.”
  • “Aw jeez, I was gonna say ‘she’s hot’, but then I saw… her face.”
  • “I mean, look at the way he slurps up his soup. What an asshole.”
  • “I’ve got Reeses Pieces! But, I’m dead… so they’re ‘Deceases Pieces’!”
  • “Wow, you actually did like… almost everything you could to blow that for me!”
  • “Oh shit, your cover’s blown! Here, go into this water! Cover yourself in chocolate syrup immediately! Just dive!”

anonymous asked:

How would the bachelors/bachelorette react to find out that their datemate the farmer is trans?

Alex - “Oh, uh. Okay. I don’t really get it, though. If I say something to offend you, just, like, smack me or something. I love you, ya know? I don’t wanna upset you.”

Elliott - “You’re still magnificent in my eyes, you know that? I support you and your endeavors, no matter what.”

Harvey - "Oh! Have you started hormone therapy? I can call in and have those delivered. Have you started any treatments? I know this is important to you, and I want to make sure you’re healthy through it. You mean the world to me.”

Sam - “Oh shit. Wait, no, not in a bad way. Just a surprised way. So, like, what pronouns do you want?”

Sebastian - “Yeah, I kinda figured. I love you, no matter what.”

Shane - "I love you and I support you but why did you tell me this when I’m holding SEVENTEEN CHICKENS?!”

Abigail - "Oh! Goodness! Okay, just tell me what you want to go by. I’ll try my best to make you comfortable.”

Haley - "Really? Oh, okay. I still love you. Wait, does that mean you need new clothes? I can take care of that for you if you want!”

Leah - "Oh, come here and give me a hug. I know this is big for you. But I want you to know that I love you more than the world.”

Maru - "Cool. Do you have a name you would rather go by?”

Penny - "Really? When did you discover this? Well, I guess it doesn’t really matter. We’re always finding out new stuff about ourselves. I’m glad you’re more comfortable, though. I want you to be happy.”

Emily - "Aha! I knew it! On the LGBT sandwich you’re the tomato! No wait come back and appreciate my food joke I’m very hungry.”

Hey Morgan, let me tell you about my girl Carol.

Hey Richard, I’ll kill you if you breathe near Carol.

Hey Carol you hurt me but damn ok hug me.

Hey Carol don’t cry I love you so much I’m gonna lie to you.

Hey Carol thanks for dinner here I go.. no, wait get in my arms one more time and take care of yourself.

Hey Shiva, you’re ferocious yet gentle and you nuzzle me just like Carol.

Hey Morgan you don’t know me - oh my bad you know that Carol is the most important thing in my life.

(but this is a big Carol/Ezekiel episode ohhh ok then..)

Basic transits meaning

 Feel free to add + correct something! I’m still learning about this so your help is amazing :)

I’ll cover the houses here. If you want to check your transits, here you have a tutorial by @astrologanize

Sun: focus, where you shine brighter than ever! Where the sun falls, it’ll be your main interest for a certain time. For example, Sun transiting your 11th house will focus on social life, friend groups and your dreams. Sun transiting your 6th house will be focused on routine and getting things done, rather than dreaming and being social.

Moon: this planet’s transits are really short (2 days approximately), so its effect is more like “daily mood” than big and meaningful cycles in your life. These transits show where your emotions are focused on, and where you may be more creative. I highly recommend to check the sign where the transit Moon is in! For example, Cancer moon is transiting in your 2nd house. That’ll mean you’re a lot more attached emotionally to your material goods, and you may buy too many things during this transit. Of course, this feeling only last for like two days so next week you might regret all the useless things you’ve bought…

Mercury: this planet’s transits tend to last one month aproximately. These transits show where your mental focus is, your mental state and what kind of subjects are you up to learn. Plus, it brings a lot of energy to the house’s activities. For example, Mercury transiting the 3rd house will be a lot more witty and will seek more mental stimulation than usual. It may be difficult to stop thinking and you may jump from one thought to the next fearly quickly. This is a good time to focus on mental activities, like school or college.

Venus: this planet’s transits last about one month. This transits tend to show where you feel more confident and social. If it isn’t in a bad aspect with any natal planet, it’ll be a good transit. Depending the house transit Venus is, you may be a lot more creative and artsy. For example, Venus transiting your 5th house will make you more prone to flirting without a clear objective, more like an entertaiment than a real affair. This placement is perfect for creative activities, like drawing.

Mars: this planet’s transits last about one month. This brings a boost of energy to the activities concerned to the transited house, and may indicate what drives you during that time. For example, Mars transiting your 9th house will be eager to learn, and motivation to travel and experience new things.

The following planets have a wider orbit around the sun, therefore, they stay longer in each house. Personally, I think their effects are way more crucial than, for example, the moon’s. 

Saturn: this planet’s transits last about one or two years. It is mostly seen as a hard aspect because it shows where one have work to do in order to reach a goal, where we don’t feel enough and it sometimes lead to insecurity and limitations. For example, Saturn transiting in the 10th house can make you feel useless in your career and vulnerable in front of others, and you might feel your work isn’t rewarded. This is a good time to work harder than ever and find holes in your public image and goals.

Jupiter: this planet’s transits last for one year. It shows where you find yourself luckier and happier, and what will help you to expand your life. This is generally seen as a good transit, not matter what kind of aspects it has with your natal planets. For example, Jupiter in the 12th house finds happiness and expansion through relaxing and spiritual ways, like meditation. This is a good time to analyze yourself and let your ego wash away.

Uranus: this planet spends many years in one house and sign. It brings change and mental energy. Change is abrupt and may be caused by a change of mentality or plain boredom. Uranus is here to start new things, to dare and to challenge you. For example, if Uranus is in your 1st house, you may feel you need to change your appearence and your identity may be challenged. This is a good time to change your style and re-create yourself.

Neptune: this planet spends many years in one house and sign. Where it is placed, things get burried. It’s a time where you are more creative, spiritual and confused at the same time. This transit paints a certain part of your life with fantasy. If Neptune is transiting your 6th house, for example, you’ll daydreaming a lot more than you’re used to and procrastination may take over your life if you don’t control it. This is a good time to make art though.

Pluto: this planet spends many years in one house and sign. Transformation is the key word for this transit. Where transit Pluto is placed, things (think about habits, cycles, etc) end in order to start new ones. Also, it can symbolize that your current habits will be transform permanently. Negative feelings may be regular in certain times. Things from the past may do a come back. For example, if Pluto is transiting your 7th house, several of your relationships and friendships may transform in something new, bad or good. Plus, some of your relationships may end and that will mean a new cycle, a “new” you. This is a good time to reevaluate your relationships and throw away the negative ones in your life.

-Melisa.

Forgotten Anniversary (Shawn Mendes)

Hey loves,

requests are open!

Request:  HII! Can you mayne write something where shawn is in relationship with reader but he’s spending a lot of time with Camilla recently in studio, bc they are writing a song, and then Shawn forget about their anniversary or reader’s birthday? // sorry for my english, its not my first language //

Thank You all for your requests!

Enjoy!

Originally posted by itsmsletsp

I was never a really jealous person so I didn’t mind Shawn hanging out with Camila, I knew she was a nice girl and I knew that Shawn loved me. But seeing him this morning rushing through the doors to not be late for breakfast with Camila made me slightly mad. I hope he didn’t forget that today is our anniversary. After all he made the reservation at our favorite restaurant. 

**

Sitting at the restaurant I looked at the time for the 10th time under 10minutes. He was half an hour late. He was never late, always early. I looked at the male waiter asking for the check on two champagne glasses. “I guess he didn’t come?” he asked. I nodded. “I’m really sorry. But he’s an asshole if he left you alone, especially looking this nice” I smiled looking at him. He quickly turned his head to look at the time. “Do you mind waiting for me? My shift ends in 15minutes” looking at him I thought what Shawn would say, but honestly, I don’t care about him right now. “Okay”

**

Probably we looked stupid sitting at the mcdonald’s with our fancy clothes but it was fine. “No!” I gasped at him. “You did not say that to her!” “I actually did. That was the last time I heard of her” Cole answered laughing, “Well of course you idiot, you can’t say to a girl I’m in a bit of a hurry, so can you make it quick. You are unbelievible“ I said throwing my french fries at him. With this move we started mini food war between us. I looked up when I heard a very familliar voice saying my name. „What are you doing here?“ Shawn murmed looking at me. „Enjoying my evening“ I said through my teeth. Blood rushing when I saw Camila behind him. „Yeah, I can see. Why with him?“ Shawn looked at him with disgust „Well Shawn, you shouldn‘t be mad at Cole. Thanks to him he made my evening from shit to an actual really fun evening“ I smiled at Cole. „Let‘s go“ I said standing up with Cole. Quickly Shawn hands wrapped around my wrist. „Let go of me“ I grunted looking at him. „You‘re sleeping in a living room tonight“ I angrily said and taking Cole‘s hand walked out of the mcdonald‘s. „Well you were a badass, Y/N“ smirking Nate looked at me „Oh shut it Cole“ 

**

Walking through the door I saw Shawn sitting in our living room with head in his hands. Hearing the outside door shut Shawn jumped on his feet „Y/N. Thank God you‘re safe“ he started coming closer. „Don‘t bother Shawn“ „Look, I‘m sorry. I didn‘t mean to forget our anniversary“ „Sorry won‘t do shit“ I replied looking at him with disappoint in my eyes. He hurt me bad this time.

**

I groaned looking at the clock which showed 3am. Turning to my other side I looked at the window. It was empty and uncomfortable sleeping without Shawn on my side. Him wrapping his hands around my body, murming sweet things. I could hear Shawn groaning while moving again and again. I promised myself that I would be hard on him but I just couldn‘t take it anymore. Silently I tiptoed down the stairs. „Shawn“ I whispered staring at him. From my voice he quickly turned to my side. „Y/N..“ „I can‘t sleep“ I murmed but seeing him opening his arms small smile appeared on my face. He pulled my body closer to his leaving kisses on my neck. „I‘m“ peck „So“ another peck „Sorry“ he left kiss on my lips this time. I let out breath I was holding in. „I know you are“ I whispered putting my head on his chest. After moving around for the 10th time Shawn groaned „That‘s it. We‘re going to our bed“ he said and quickly put me in his hands. I slighly laughed. „I swear to god if you‘re going to hit my head somewhere“ I threatened him laughing. „I won‘t“ he smirked kissing me. I love this dork.

anonymous asked:

Hey, i was just wondering if u were going to draw more shallura? I'm really not trying to be pushy or rude or anything (pls don't think I'm telling u what to draw i really don't want this to sound mean or bad) but i just saw those little comics u made and they were super cute! I love ur art style, it's really super nice:)

oh no I don’t mind at all, it’s good to see what people like too! But yeah of course, I still have silly stuff on my laptop since this summer even, I’m shit at posting stuff unencouraged haha

No Longer Forgotten

Fandom: Marvel (Thor’s movies)

Summary: Based on: “Imagine baking Loki his favourite Midgardian cake for his birthday, and him being deeply surprised because he told you when his birthday is just once and yet you’re the only one that remembered it and made him celebrate it after many years” by @imaginemarveluniverse

Word count: 1,573

[Masterlist]

Originally posted by lokis-quinn

A gentle humming was lighting up the kitchen bathed in the soft sunlight. You checked the oven, looking proudly at the growing cake you had made by yourself. It seemed to be all right, but you got cautious after your previous attempt at baking, which is cooling down on one of the kitchen counters, completely burnt and inedible.

You sat on one of the chairs, trying to avoid looking at the ungodly mess you have made in the process of baking. Flour was covering the floor with a thin layer that you couldn’t get rid of with the broom. You should probably wash it, but you felt weak at the mere thought of it. You were so tired that you could fall asleep standing. Actually, a quick (but normal) nap was a very tempting thought – your sore legs would rest, and your eyes, which you have rubbed with a dirty hand, almost burning them with flavouring…

No! No rest before you finish. You wouldn’t survive another round of starting everything from scratch. Of course, you would certainly give up after another defeat if the cake was meant just for you, but it wasn’t this time. You had a very special occasion and wanted to make everything perfect…

A knock on the door was as surprising as unusual. You have barely any close friends and none of them lived nearby, so there was no chance they would randomly decide to visit you before speaking to you first. And this couldn’t be the mailman, because you had a letter-box on the other side of the building. No one was visiting you like that. Maybe someone got lost or one of your neighbours wanted to ask you something?

You flattened your hair which you had no time to even brush today, but gave up on trying to cover your war with the kitchen – the only thing that could help your clothes get back to socially acceptable standards was a solid wash.

You opened the door with a light smile to greet…

…Loki.

You said none of your friends would visit you unexpectedly? Well, you have forgotten about the one, now standing right in front of you – the only one that you would be more than happy to see every other day but today – and the one that was supposed to come tomorrow. It wouldn’t be such a big deal if you weren’t preparing him a birthday cake. A kind of surprise. And a present. Which you were supposed to give him on his bloody birthday.

And now he got suspicious. He probably had the right to be, since you froze in the doorway, with your thoughts literally screaming and your heart racing.

“Is everything okay…?” Loki asked slowly, furrowing his eyebrows and peeking in over your shoulder. Your lack of words had worried him.

“Of course!” you said with a totally unnatural, high-pitched voice. And there goes your cover…

“So… May I come in?”

“Yea-… I mean… Nothing is-… Maybe tomorrow, you said tomorrow? Of course I didn’t forget about our tomorrow meeting and neither did you, right?” you rambled, feeling smaller and smaller.

Green eyes looked at you appraisingly.

“If you have a guest, you can just tell me. I just appeared to be around and thought that I may come in, but there is no need to…”

“No! No, no, no!” you almost shouted, but quickly calmed down. The longer you were postponing it, the worse it was becoming. You took a deep breath, moving to the side. “No one is here, I just… had a bad day. Kind of. You are welcome anytime.”

Loki hesitated a bit, but entered your home, looking around suspiciously. He was clearly searching for any signs of what was bothering you, but besides the ungodly mess in the kitchen, nothing has caught his attention. He knew your house well enough to catch any change given the amount of time you two hang out up with there.

“Well, now  at least I think I understand why you didn’t want me to see all this,” Loki gestured to the pile of dirty dishes completely covering the sink.

You shrugged, standing at the doorframe. You had to admit that the tall man in a visibly expensive suit in no way fitted in that room. You were actually surprised that he came inside of it, not afraid of omnipresent mess. Thank God that Loki was your friend and wouldn’t get mad over some stains on his clothes that you were almost sure would appear out of nowhere. Or at least you thought he would. It wasn’t your fault you’d spilled some things. A few times. Because you happened to be a little bit too enthusiastic.

“You still seem to be stressed,” Loki noticed, making himself sit comfortable on one of the chairs. He crossed his long legs, piercing you with his gaze that you had no way to avoid.

“I’ve just had a bad day,” you carefully selected your words, knowing that you were treading on thin ice. You could almost hear it breaking as Loki was working you out openly. “Nothing serious. Tried to keep my mind away from everything, and well, you see what happened.”

“You mean this burning… thing?”

“Yeah, I kind of forgot about it for a bit too long, got distracted. I’ll have to throw it away…”

“I meant the one burning right now.”

“Wha-…? Oh, shit-…!” you rushed to the oven, almost breaking your legs on the way.

You didn’t even bother to look for a dishcloth, hissing over the sting of pain when the temperature kissed your palms. And almost destroyed your cake, apparently. You put it on the table, between empty packages and a sugar container. It didn’t smell that bad, but the obvious black spots on the sides were ruthless. And you were so close… But, after putting some icing that would easily cover them, a very thin layer of icing, maybe of different colours, who knows…

Loki observed the race of emotions on your face. You were like an open book for him after all those years of knowing each other. He had a sarcastic comment on the tip of his tongue, but let it go, seeing how downcast you were.

The man cleared his throat.

“I bet it tastes better than it looks like.”

“It doesn’t look bad. Look there – this is a burnt cake. This one is… just slightly more crispy.”

“Who have you made this for?” Loki asked curiously.

“No one,” you answered a little too quickly for him not to notice.

He smirked wolfishly. You felt a rock forming in your throat. You knew that grin – it meant that Loki would never drop the subject that sparked his interest before getting to know every detail.

“So I may have a piece after it cools down?” he asked innocently.

“No, you can’t,” you said firmly.

“Why?”

“Because I have to decorate it first.”

“Oh, come on,” Loki smirked. “One piece won’t ruin your very necessary decorations.”

“Yes, it will, because this has to be perfect.”

“But you just said you made it for yourself. Since when do you care over the look and not the taste…? It’s so uncommon of you, I am starting to worry about you, you know?”

You groaned loudly, accepting your defeat. He would never stop, and you were too tired to argue with him for hours.

“I hate you,” you muttered, resting your head on the table.

“And you still didn’t answer my…”

“Because it’s for your birthday, maybe?! Okay, I know it’s not today, but you were supposed to come tomorrow. That’s why everything is a mess and I’m completely not prepared… Loki, why are you so pale? I mean, more pale than usual. Is everything okay?”

Loki was indeed frozen, with pure disbelief on his face.

“You did… what? How did you know about my birthday?” he uttered, suddenly in loss for words.

“You told me.”

“But that was ages ago!”

“And I’ve got this thing called a calendar. I just made a note, Loki. There is no need to act so surprised. Besides, you scare me and I’m not sure if you are okay or not… I tried, okay? I’ve just always been a disaster in the kitchen, that’s why I screwed it up…”

“Am I okay?” He repeated your words with raised eyebrows. “Are you actually asking me if I’m okay with my first birthday present in years? Do I look like I hate receiving goods? I’m a god, I love all of them, let’s be honest…”

You stopped him.

“Wait, so you’re saying that no one has celebrated your birthday in…?”

“Exactly. And now let’s move on to the main course, because the more I look at it, the happier I feel,” Loki licked his lips, which earned him a small laugh from you. It was another great thing about that day and it was still early.

He had almost forgotten how enjoyable birthdays could be when celebrated with someone close. He smiled to himself when you were looking for a plates.

Prompts/Blurbs List

I put together a list of different prompts and blurbs about the Dolan Twins! Feel free to request which ever ones you want. Also, If you do happen to use any of these, please give credit! 


1. “I miss you.“ 

2. “Would you feel better if I let you hold my hand?”

 3. “Do you have any feelings whatsoever? Or are you always just a complete dick?" 

4. "I don’t love you anymore." 

5. "Hey babe, did you eat my sandwich?”

 6. “I thought you were different." 

7. "I’d rather be smothered with a pillow in the middle of the night then go on a date with you.”

 8. “Wait a minute..Are you jealous?" 

9. "Fuck off, she’s mine." 

10. "I’m glad you find my boyfriend attractive, now fuck off." 

11. "I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

12. “Do you love her?”

13. “Wait.. You’ve never had your first kiss?!”

14. “Oh, and that’s Dolan. He’s the perfect example as to why condoms are necessary.”

15. “Did you just smack my ass?”

16. “Are you kidding me? This shit was expensive you twat.”

17. “Stop being a tool and put your fucking shirt down. You’re taking a picture for Instagram, not sending ab pics.”

18. “You’re not welcome.”

19. “And you wonder why we broke up in the first place.”

20. “…My bad?”

21. “Do you not trust me?”

22. “Have you ever masturbated?”

23. “Can I play with your hair?”

24. “If you say like one more time, I’m gonna like totally choke you the fuck out!”

25. “By all means, go fuck yourself.”

26. “Can you shut the fuck up?”

27. “Wow nice job. 5 brownie points for you!”

28. “Fuck that was so hot.”

29. “DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A HICKEY?”

30. “You belong with me.”

31. “Hey, I’m right here. Shh you’re okay.”

32. “Do you seriously have a boner right now?”

33. “Were you staring at her tits?”

34. “This isn’t the first promise you’ve broken.”

35. “Don’t you ever fucking do that again, you hear me?”

36. “Yes, Daddy.”

37. “My ex was never like this.”

38. “Is that my football jersey?”

39. “Hey babe, do you have any tweezers?”

40. “Why are you crying?”

41. “You know I never meant to hurt you, right?”

42. “Y-You thought I was gonna hit you?..”

43. “Your boobs are comfy.”

44. “I swear to god if you make one more smart ass comment I’m gonna stomp your balls, you dickwad.”

45. “What did you just say?”

46. “Did you just call me (Your/Ex’s/Name?)

47. “Hey baby, I’m drunk as fuck and I miss you so much. Please come home.”

48. “I’ll give you a blowjob if you go and get me some skittles.”

49. “How did you manage to fuck this up?”

50. “Do you ever regret it?”

51. “Shut your mouth and kiss me, damnit.”

52. “What the hell is on your face?”

53. “OOOH KINKY”

54. “Can we just cuddle?”

55. “Baby, my tummy hurts.”

56. “You have such a nice butt.”

57. “Sorry, I-I can’t get comfortable.”

58. “I want kisses.”

59. “She came onto me, I swear!”

60. “Stop giving me the puppy eyes.. Ugh fine, fuck you.”

61. “Did you know sex is exercise?’

62. “You’re not going out like that.”

63. “You smell good.”

64. “You mean the world to me.”

65. “Promise me you’ll be here when I wake up.”

66. “I may be drunk but I know for a fact that I love you.”

67. “Uhm.. Your book is upside down.”

68. “That was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

69. “Stop teasing me.”

70. “You’re gonna get it when we get home.”

71. “Pretty please?”

72. “What the fuck are you giggling at? it’s 3am.”

73. “Can you just hold me?”

74. “Can I be the little spoon tonight?”

75. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, bitch.”

76. “Obviously I’m upset.”

77. “Fuck that feels good.”

78. “Stop being so horny.”

79. “Sure, go hangout with your ex. I mean, I might as well text mine, too.”

80. “You’re mine. You got that?”

81. “I know I’m your bestfriend but I want so much more.”

82. “I think I should call heaven because it looks like they’re missing an angel.”

83. “I think I just shit myself.”

84. “I have to let you go.”

85. “You broke my fucking heart.”

86. “You mean everything to me. And I’ll be damned if I were to let you walk out on me right now.”

87. “I swear to god I won’t have sex with you for a whole month if you don’t kill that eight legged motherfucker.”

88. “I want to come home.”

89. “You’re so cheesy.”

90. “You need to chill, babe.”

91. “How do you spell aluminum?”

92. “Do I look fat in this?”

93. “You can do so much better that me.”

94. “Wow you have nice abs.”

95. “You make fun of me for being short, but do you see me making fun of your small ass dick? No? Exactly. Shut your ass up.”

96. “Wow you’re really tall.”

97. “You were the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.”

98. “Can I kiss you?”

99. “I know, this was just an excuse to cuddle.”

100. “Maybe we should just order some pizza..”