oh right... this is why i don't have a boyfriend

  • Stranger, trying to flirt with Alec: Well, since you're the hottest person in this room and-
  • Alec, drunk and happy: Oh, no, Magnus is. He's over there. *points* See? The really pretty one. He's my boyfriend. I love him so much. He's so gorgeous, I've never seen someone who looks better than him
  • Stranger, pausing: Uh...right...I'll just, I'll be going then *leaves*
  • Magnus, snickering: *walking over to Alec* She was flirting with you, darling.
  • Alec: What? No. She just made a mistake. Don't worry, I corrected her. Obviously you're the hottest person here, I mean, no one else even comes close.
  • Magnus, smiling: Have you even looked at anyone else, darling?
  • Alec, frowning: No? Why would I want to do that when I can look at you? That's a silly question, Magnus

anonymous asked:

Mikasa does not love Eren romantically, she is Eren's sister. I don't understand why this ship is popular.

Oh, yes. I see your point, Anon. I am clearly not understanding something about the nature of their relationship

I completely forgot the time Mikasa got jealous of Annie climbing all over her brother.

And the time Mikasa blushed because Ian called her brother her boyfriend? 

I mean, I have a brother myself, anon, and you’re right - I’d definately blush if someone called him my boyfriend. I wouldn’t get sick in my mouth a vomit a little, I’d blush like true siblings would.

*causally tries to kiss her brother on the lips*

“Mikasa, try not to bang our brother while I’m gone, okay? I know it’s hard not to want to feel your brother pumping his dick inside you, but please control yourself. I know how great of siblings you are.”

Highlight: “I don’t know why you’re so attached to Eren your brother.”

I don’t even have a retort for this. “Your beloved Mikasa.” Clearly, their sibling-ness is seen far and wide by theirs friends, too.

I don’t???? have a way???? to be sarcastic???? about this???? MANGA COVER where she looks at him like he’s the light of her life???????????

Mikasa, please get your ass off Eren’s crotch. He’s your brother, for fuck’s sake.

Oh, great, now the spin-offs are in on it too. 


I am so sorry for my ignorance, anon. You are right and i repent my sins.

SEAWEED brain!!
  • Jason: What did you buy for Annabeth?
  • Percy: Nothing Why?
  • Jason: Bro, you know tomorrow is Valentine's Day, right?
  • Percy: What? Oh my gods!
  • Jason: I don't believe it, you forgot *laughs*
  • Percy: What will you give for Piper?
  • Jason: Flowers.
  • Percy: hm ...I think I have an idea.
  • * Valentine's Day "
  • Percy: -Annabeth, This is for you.
  • Annabeth: -OMG .... This is seaweeds? Really?
  • Percy: -I Am your seaweed brain, right? Nothing more symbolic. My brain you already have, just missing the seaweed.
  • Annabeth: - You're the worst and the best boyfriend in the world you know it? *laughts*
  • Percy: - I try, I try
A conversation between a Hufflepuff girlfriend and a Slytherin boyfriend (cuddling)
  • Hufflepuff: Oh, come on! I'm cold and you're my boyfriend! You have to!
  • Slytherin: *Laughs* Where's that written? And also, I don't want to cuddle right now. Can't you just use a blanket?
  • Hufflepuff: *Pouts* No, I want to cuddle. *Wraps herself around Slytherin* Why won't you cuddle with me?
  • Slytherin: Because you're too warm!
  • Hufflepuff: *Pauses, then laughs* So I'm too hot for you?
  • Slytherin: *Shakes his head and sighs* Why am I dating you again?
  • Hufflepuff: *Trying and failing at stopping her laughter* Because I'm so hot!
Bros being bros
  • Abby: Don't you already have a boyfriend? Don't both of you have a boyfriend? I'm assuming.
  • Erin: I broke up with mine.
  • Kevin: I'm not sure. But my roommate sleeps with me everyday and he calls me 'darling' when we have sex and one time he got me a ring in the city clerk office, but that's just bros being bros, right?
  • Abby: Oh my god, you are married.

anonymous asked:

Hey have you got any long Drarry fics that are in the hogwarts time era? I always seem to find a good one but then its been abandoned and not updated since 2004 or something. I enjoy some cheeky smut in the right places but who doesn't? I don't mind how it starts as long as it finishes if you get me ;)

I get you ;). Well, I have a tag for fics that are set during Hogwarts era and also a tag for just 8th year ones. But here is a list of my favourite ones that are quite long and completed (And it is a very long list, oh my word): 

An Issue of Consequence:  Draco has woken up in an alternate universe. Or he has woken up utterly insane. Nothing else can possibly explain why Harry Potter suddenly seems to think he’s Draco’s boyfriend. (Word count: 21,854)

A Slytherin in Gryffindor Clothing:  Draco hits his head and wakes up in a world where he’s a Gryffindor and Harry is a Slytherin. (Word count: 43,944)

Background Secrets:  What if Harry and Draco were really friends behind all the insults and fights with each other? When would it have started and where would it end? (Word count: 172,733)

Beautiful World:  Draco is afraid of living and Harry is afraid of dying, but sometimes the choice isn’t offered. Draco’s got to learn what it is to really live, while showing Harry how beautiful the world really is when you’re not too scared to see it. (Word count: 70,367)

Black Truth:  And, with bated breath, Draco traced the silver line down one more step in the family tree. Draco Lucius Malfoy… the third full blooded Veriae in the Malfoy family… and future life mate of Harry Potter. (Word count: 104,304)

Catch 22:  As if NEWTS weren’t enough, Dumbledore’s gone and had another one of his bright ideas. If all ends well, the Houses will be getting along in no time. Or according to Harry’s correspondent, hailing the Apocalypse. (Word count: 50,431)

Chaos Theory: Chaos: when the present determines the future, but the approximate present does not approximately determine the future. One gene varies, one neuron fires, one butterfly flaps its wings, and Draco Malfoy’s life is completely different. Draco has always found a certain comfort in chaos. Perhaps he shouldn’t. (Word count: 102,711)

Checkmate:  Draco has a plan to get Harry Potter, and challenges him to a game of Dare Chess. But is it love, or betrayal, he has in mind? A real game of chess is played throughout the story. (Word count: 259,337)

Decreso Aetas:  An accident occurs in Charms that leaves Draco looking after a…slightly different Harry. How will they live through it, and how do others take the change? What will happen when Draco begins thinking of Harry differently? (Word count: 71,126)

Draco in Darkness:  Following an accident in his seventh year, Draco loses his eyesight. After Harry elbows his way into Draco’s dark world, both boys find themselves in a strange new friendship, and they each learn new ways to see each other … and themselves. (Word count: 40,959)

Dragon Blood:  The wizarding world has a secret that Draco Malfoy carries without him knowing it. There are some things that for some wizards held more importance than even the eventual defeat of Voldemort. (Word count: 173,434)

The Dragons of Raveana: An ancestor of Harry’s once protected the magical Mage Dragons, upon her death they vanished. Now in possession of her journal, can Harry summon them back or is he too late? (Word count: 104,301)

Eclipse:  Draco swore revenge on Harry for Lucius’s imprisonment, and for once, he keeps his promise. The old rivalry turns deadly when Draco abducts Harry for Voldemort. But when Draco’s world turns upside down, the fight to save himself and Harry begins. (Word count: 309,149) 

Ferret in My Shoe:  Harry finds Malfoy in a petshop and brings him home, wanting to know why he was there, and why he was a ferret again. What ensues is a bit of this, a bit of that, and a dash of slash. (Word count: 112,072)

Gilded Soul:  It’s one thing to hear about the daring tales of Harry Potter but quite another to be living in the middle of one. But the danger Draco is destined for seems trivial once he finds himself falling in love with Harry. (Word count: 94,100)

Growing Pains:  The summer after Sirius’ death: the abuse at the Dursley’s leaves him broken. Snape is asked to try and help, and discovers that the key to saving Harry may be Draco, who has returned after his own difficult summer. (Word count: 190,497)

Harbinger:  Harry is a demon with a mission. His assignment? To locate and retrieve his target before he runs out of time or irreparable damage is done to the mortal plane. (Word count: 96,288)

Harry Potter and the Children of the Future:  In Harry’s 7th year, children from the future suddenly appear at Hogwarts and one of them claims to be Harry’s son. Problem is, Harry isn’t the only father… (Word count: 83,177)

Harry Potter and the Sentinel Phenomenon:  Everything changes the summer after fifth year. Draco refuses to take the Dark Mark and must deal with leaving behind the life, friends and family he’s always known.The Dursley’s abandon Harry alone in the woods for a week, triggering his Sentinel gifts and leaving him hurting and in need of a Guide. Can two rivals put aside five years worth of antagonism in order to work together to save Hogwarts and each other? (Word count: 75,115)

How Potter Turned Malfoy Gay:  The whole truth and nothing but the truth. And a bit of weirdness. (Word count: 36,125)

Life Renovations:  Sometimes people are forced to make many changes in thier lives in order to survive.After a summer of torture with the Dursleys,Harry goes into a magical coma,where he decides many things that could very well change the Wizarding World forever. (Word count: 298,913)

Malfoy Child:  A potions accident turns Draco into a four-year-old and Harry takes over his care for the next four months. (Word count: 98,020)

Oath Breaker:  At the start of seventh year, the Malfoys perform a dramatic doublecross and Draco educates Harry in dark magic. (Word count: 197,987)

Sealed with a Kiss:  Harry Potter will fall in love with the first person who kisses him. Draco knows what he must do. (Word count: 48,507)

Secrets:  Beginning with Draco’s unexpected arrival at the Dursleys, Harry’s summer becomes filled with activity and many secrets. He generates several unexpected allies as he finds himself actively becoming the leader of the Light side. (Word count: 411,344)

Staring Contest,Snow and kiddies:  Draco and Harry both have been thrown into something weired what will happen when both these rivals have been changed into children. Will they get along or will they end up nearly killing each other. (Word count: 64,095)

Starts With a Spin:  It started with the spin of a bottle, and now Harry and Draco have gotten themselves so far into their own game there’s almost no way out again. Except to keep playing. (Word count: 129,968)

Stigmata:  Harry isn’t the Dark Lord, so he cannot be with a Death Eater’s son. This is the first time the BoyWhoLived ever asked for something and he cannot have it. So he takes matters into his own hands. (Word count: 47,626)

Then Comes a Mist and a Weeping Rain:  It always rains for Draco Malfoy. Metaphorically. And literally. Ever since he had accidentally Conjured a cloud. A cloud that’s ever so cross. SLASH. HPDM. Humour. Metaphorical angst. Hufflepuffs. A peacock. (Word count: 22,038)

Time out of Place: Harry wakes up with a throbbing head, but he soon realizes that a headache is the last thing he has to worry about. And what part does Draco play in it all? (Word count: 100,488)

The Undeserved Hardships of Draco Malfoy:  It was all an accident, helping that annoying Potter! But now the wizard extraordinaire, Draco Malfoy, is in a bind. He’ll need all of his intelligence, his wits, his looks and his sneers just to make it through Hogwarts! (Word count: 88,130)

I hope this helps and happy reading! ^^

anonymous asked:

when your mother comes to visit and casually flips through your sketchbooks (since she is your #1 fan when it comes to art) and comes across your lewd section. "WHY DO YOU DRAW THESE CARTOONS IN THIS WAY?!" "Oh oops sorry mom...wait you're mad that they are animated?" "Well...I'M JUST WORRIED, YOU COULD AT LEAST DRAW YOUR BOYFRIEND OR SOMETHING." "Err...I don't have a boyfriend right now..." "EXACTLY." ::: This is why Tumblr comforts me. All the imaginary dick I want.

PFFFTSFS my dear. That’s so cute and I relate so much. Replace mom with boyfriend for maximum awkwardness and an alternate ending to that dialogue. Also when Cheritz pops up on your dashboard with an update right after you’ve uploaded shameless smut and you’re like OH RIGHT THEY’RE ON TUMBLR TOO

  • <b> <b></b> Me:</b> IM SO EXCITED FOR VALENTINE'S DAY!!<p><b>Friend:</b> Why? Because you are going to spend it with your boyfriend/girlfriend?<p><b>Me:</b> Pshhhh no i don't have one lol<p><b>Them:</b> Oh because your birthday is the day after.<p><b>Me:</b> I mean that's cool and all but not really.<p><b>Them:</b> Then the candy?<p><b>Me:</b> I fucking love candy but no.<p><b>Them:</b> THEN WHY THEN???<p><b>Best friend:</b> It's so she can see cute Valentine pictures of her otp fucking.<p><b>Me:</b> You right. You right.<p><p>
Bunk-bed Diaries #04
  • Favorite Food
  • Kyungsoo (bottom part of the bunk-bed)
  • Baekhyun (top part of the bunk-bed)
  • Baekhyun: (laughing his ass off)
  • Kyungsoo: What the fuck, Baekhyun?! I'm trying to sleep here. If you don't want to sleep yet, then let me fucking sleep. *covers his ears with his index fingers*
  • Baekhyun: I'm actually reading Diner AU right now. Have you seen it? It's totally cool! I look so cute and your character here really portrays the real you! Ugh, why didn't I see it before? *shakes his head*
  • Kyungsoo: Coz you're busy fucking with your boyfriend.
  • Baekhyun: As if you don't enjoy fucking with your boyfriend, Kyungsoo. *snickers*
  • Kyungsoo: Goddamnit, Baekhyun.
  • Baekhyun: Oh my god, you don't enjoy it all? Should I tell Jongin to get lessons from Chanyeol? *wiggles his eyebrows and body*
  • Kyungsoo: Shut. The. Fuck. Up. And. Stay. Still.
  • Baekhyun: *laughs* Maybe you're too stiff? Maybe wrong position? Maybe you're not using Vaseline or lube?
  • Kyungsoo: *trying to calm his fuck down*
  • Baekhyun: I'm so sorry. I'm shutting my mouth now. *laughs, reads the comics again* By the way, you like cooking right? Do you cook for Jongin?
  • Kyungsoo: Damn it. I thought you're letting me sleep already. *groans*
  • Baekhyun: I will, after you answer my question. So..
  • Kyungsoo: Yeah, I cook for him.
  • Baekhyun: Cool. So what's his favorite food?
  • Kyungsoo: Chicken. Okay, shut up-
  • Baekhyun: Aside from chicken of course.
  • Kyungsoo: I'm sleeping.
  • Baekhyun: Why aren't you answering? *chuckles*
  • Kyungsoo: Shut up.
  • Baekhyun: I think I know now. *laughs hard* I bet he told you 'you are' his favorite food.
  • Kyungsoo: I bet Chanyeol tells you that all the fucking time as he fucks you deep in your ass. Now, shut the fuck up and fuck off now coz I'm fucking sleeping.
  • Baekhyun: *gulps, blinks his eyes* Well...I'm just wondering. But yeah, good night.
Part one: You don't own me

“I don’t want you hanging around him y/n” Justin yelled from across the room.

“What are you talking about Justin I’ve known (best guy friend) for three years!” You yelled back and crossed your arms trying to stop yourself for just about beating the living crap out of your boyfriend.

“And how long have you known me? Seven.” Justin rolled his eyes “why were you guys hugging anyway” Justin questioned

“Oh so now I can’t hug either? Oh go ahead enlighten me on all the do’s and don'ts in this relationship” you scoffed

“Don’t get an attitude with me y/n right now is not the time”

“You don’t own me Justin. I’m in a relationship not prison.” You tried pushing him out the way but he grabbed your arm firmly.

“Don’t walk away from me!” He yelled

“Oh I’m sorry last time I checked I have free will” You jerked your arm away

“Stop talking to him.” Justin looked you in the eyes sternly

“Stop talking to Hailz” You uttered


“Don’t what me. Stop talking to Hailz and I’ll stop talking to (BGF).”

“What no”

“Oh so it’s okay for you to be all over another female but I can’t be all over another male is that what it is Justin?” You yelled

“Fine. What’s the catch”

“Don’t talk to Hailz for a week and I won’t talk to (BGF) for a week. If one of us loses were over. Point blank period and if one of us wins then I don’t wanna hear about this anymore Jay.” You got up and walked out the now silent room making your way to the master.

Part two: http://kidrauhlimaginex.tumblr.com/post/135689000162/part-two-you-dont-own-me

Liar-Edition {Sentence Starters}
  • "It'll get done, don't worry about it."
  • "Wow, that really looks great on you. Like- wow."
  • "This will just take a second, I swear!"
  • "No, I'm completely fine. Don't worry."
  • "Oh, I love this so much. Thanks for giving it to me!"
  • "Yes, I have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Why do you ask?"
  • "No, I'm just going to do it tomorrow. No big deal."
  • "You don't have to worry. I'll be right here."
  • "Oh, yeah, I totally forgot about that. Sorry."
  • "No, he/she's just a friend! Just a friend!"
  • "Of course I love _____. Why wouldn't I?"
  • "This hurts me more than it hurts you."
  • "Yeah, I understand. I completely understand."
  • "I'm kidding. I'm kidding! Don't take everything so seriously."
  • "Oh yeeeaaah, I remember you. Totally."
  • "This tastes really good! Here, you should try it."
  • "No, I wasn't checking him/her out!"
  • "Hold still. This won't hurt a bit."
  • "No, of course I remember what today is-!"
  • "I'm not afraid of ____! I don't know where you heard that."
  • "I'll pay you back for this next time."
  • "My phone ended up dying last night, so I couldn't call you."
  • Me: Look I know I shouldn't say this and please don't tell my boyfriend, but I love you. I need you in my life
  • Him: ...
  • Me: Please say something, anything!
  • Him: ...
  • Friend: You know he doesn't feel the same way, and he's never going to talk to you
  • Me: But why?!
  • Friend: Because he's a saxophone
  • Me: Oh...right

anonymous asked:

llftx headcanon where the mc walks in on the guys doing something embarrassing

I let this request sit in my ask box for two whole weeks I’m the laziest writer in the world. I’m so sorry, nonnie! Anyway, I’ve finally completed it, so I hope you like it! (I haven’t played Kenshi’s or Atsumu’s routes though, so I’m sorry for any mis-characterization.)

While I was writing these I was giggling at the thought of the guys doing these things and I just wish I had the artistic skills to draw them. Someone else should totally give it a shot.


Love Letter From Thief X- MC walks in on an embarrassing moment

Riki: “Hey Boss. Is Riki back from work yet?” she asked as she strolled into LRN. It was late and the restaurant was empty, save for the last few people who were finishing up their drinks or late dinners.

”_______, you got the late shift at the museum again? For once Riki got back before you. He’s upstairs.”

“Thanks.” she called over her shoulder as she made her way to the back. Once upstairs, she stopped suddenly. The lights were off in Riki’s room, and the door was slightly ajar. There was a slightly muffled cry from inside.

She crept closer slowly, her heart starting to pound faster. She wanted to run in and see what was going on, but she could hardly get her legs to move. She pushed the door open a little more, and saw Riki sitting on the bed.

“Rik-” her voice caught in her throat as she realized he was staring at something intently, and talking.

Come on, Mufasa. You gotta get up. You gotta get up for Simba.“ Riki whispered desperately, eyes glued to the screen in front of him. She crept into the room and glanced at the laptop he was holding. On the screen was…

"The Lion King?” It had slipped out accidentally, and it startled Riki. He jerked his head to face her and slammed his laptop shut, eyes wide. She flicked on the light switch by the bed, and saw that he was frantically trying to wipe the tear tracks off his cheeks.

”_______!” he shouted. They stared at each other for a moment, before he averted his gaze.

“Riki… you’re okay, then?” she asked. “Like, you’re not dying?”

“I’m fine. Anything you heard was, uh, just from that dumb movie.”

“Oh…” she quirked an eyebrow. A wicked smile spread slowly across her face. “Well, you were really into that ‘dumb’ movie. It’s too bad no matter how much you urge him, Mufasa won’t get up after that fall. Trust me, I used to try all the time as a kid.”

Riki glared at the floor silently, and she could tell his face was turning red. When he finally looked up he still wouldn’t meet her gaze. He cleared his throat. “I was just trying to pass the time until you got here. Anyway, did you eat dinner yet?” he asked. She forced the smile off her face as she started to peel off her work clothes.

“I had a big lunch, so I’m not hungry. Just exhausted.” She pulled on one of Riki’s t-shirts and crawled into bed next to him. He leaned over and kissed her.

“Hey, if you’re exhausted, go to sleep.” Riki said, smirking. “Don’t look up at me with that cute face, or I’ll have to have my way with you.” She cocked her head to the side, with an innocent look on her face.

“I’m waiting for you to turn around. I figured you might want to be the little spoon tonight, after that traumatic experience.” The cocky smirk had been wiped right off Riki’s face, and replaced with a grimace. He reached out to turn off the lights, but she grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Come on, let me see that blushing face.” she giggled. He glared at her.

”_______, you’re not going to let this go, are you?” he asked.

“Not for the next million years or so.” she said cheerfully.

“Just- just don’t tell the other guys, okay?” he grumbled.

“Oh, that’s up to you. If you’re good, you have nothing to worry about.”

Riki huffed and turned his back to her. After a moment of silence, he called out. “_______?”


“I thought you said you were going to be the big spoon.”

Takuto: The door closed behind her with a soft click. She had to stand still for a moment after crossing the threshold while her eyes adjusted to the dark.

Takuto, it’s one thing to live like a hermit, but to not even open the blinds and let a little light in? That’s ridiculous, she thought, irritated.

She sighed and readjusted the plastic bag she was carrying. Takuto had been so absorbed in his latest job that he’d hardly even texted her, let alone seen her in person. So she thought she’d surprise him by stopping by with some lunch. She’d gotten Kenshi to pick up a few things for her from his family’s amazing restaurant, knowing that Takuto could never refuse that. Now all she had to do was find him…

She checked all around the first floor, leaving the living room for last. When she finally entered, she stopped in her tracks. Takuto was sitting across from a stuffed Shiffey, speaking to it through clenched teeth.

“Look, I know I’ve been a crap boyfriend- no, how about: Look, I know it’s been awhile, and I’m sor-” he broke off and shook his head vigorously. “Shiffey, I can’t apologize!”

There was silence, which she considered breaking, but Takuto beat her to it.

“Yeah, yeah, I know! I’ve been really absorbed in this job- when I’ve got something to do, I want to get it done. I’ll just tell her that.” Takuto looked at the stuffed animal and made a face. “What do you mean, ‘don’t make excuses’? That’s why I’ve hardly talked to her- I know it’s not something a nice or reliable boyfriend does, but- will you stop looking at me so accusingly?!”

She gasped quietly and immediately clamped a hand over her mouth, but Takuto didn’t even notice.

Oh my God, he’s having an imaginary conversation with Shiffey! About talking to me!

It took every ounce of her willpower to not burst into giggles.

"Okay, what if when I approach her, I just leap right into things and she forgets that I’ve been totally absent for, like, the last four days? I’ll surprise her with a compliment. I’ll just tell her how she looks. Yeah, all I have to do is mention that she looks as cute as always, and everything will be fine.”

“HOW HARD IS IT TO SAY THAT TO MY FACE?!” she burst out, no longer able to contain it. “Takuto! I can’t believe you have no trouble calling me cute in front of a stuffed animal, but when it comes to saying it to me, you come up with the most ridiculous things to avoid saying it aloud.”

Takuto whipped around, startled.

”_______! H-how long have you been there?!” Takuto asked, his face immediately turning a deep red.

“Long enough to find out that you actually hear responses from Shiffey- at least in your head,” she said. “Takuto, it feels like I haven’t seen you in ages. I wanted to have lunch together.”

“You can’t just let yourself in. I’m taking back that key,” he said, glaring. “Besides, I was just coming to see you.” he added more softly.

Hiro: What is going on in there?

She had come back to her apartment during her lunch break to get her cell phone, which she had forgotten during her rushed morning routine. She had been expecting the same peaceful and quiet state that she had left her house in to greet her when she got back, but was quite disappointed. Instead, the doorknob was practically rattling, and muffled music could be heard from outside.

Is someone using my stereo? But who…? Maybe a robber? A very stupid one, at that. Who tests a stereo before they steal it? She frowned contemplatively. No, maybe Ranko got a hold of a spare key again. She flung the door open, discovering, much to her dismay, that it was unlocked. I’ll have to remind Ranko that if she’s gonna use my apartment as her own personal hideout, she at least has to lock the door, she thought, irritated.

She walked into the living room, where the speakers on either side of her TV were blaring an old Spice Girls classic: Wannabe.

Ranko, however, was nowhere to be seen. She checked the kitchen, then the bathroom, but found no sign of her friend. She felt anger boil up inside of her. It’s one thing to enter my house while I’m out without permission, but my bedroom??

She stomped over and in through the open door. On her bed a figure stood, their top half bare except for a lacy red bra, shaking their butt and singing into a hairbrush in falsetto.

So tell me what you want, what you really really want-

Hiro?!” she couldn’t help but screech. His eyes flung open and he dropped the brush, mouth agape.

”_______, this may look hard to explain, but, uh, I can!”

“Please do.” she said incredulously, crossing her arms across her chest. “And is that my bra?!”

“Well, who else’s would it be?” he said sheepishly. “Okay, well, you told me yesterday-”

“Wait, can you take that bra off? It’s so hard to take you seriously in that state.”

“Right.” he mumbled, his face turning a soft pink as his fingers nimbly unbuckled the clasp behind his back. “Okay, as I was saying… you told me yesterday that you’d get off work today at four. So I was gonna come meet you after my classes were finished, but my afternoon class got cancelled because the professor couldn’t make it. So I just decided to wait for you here- don’t look so shocked, I texted you.” She pointed at her cellphone, which was still plugged into the charger on her nightstand. “Oh, is that why you’re here for your break? I didn’t even see that.”

“That doesn’t explain… this.” she gestured to him vaguely.

“Right, well… I got bored? And… curious? I just wanted to see what you had…” he confessed, the blush on his face deepening.

“Uh-huh. And then… you just decided to try one on?!”

“Pretty much.” he mumbled. He looked up then, a cheeky grin on his face. He jumped off her bed and and strode towards her, still shirtless, and dragged her by the hand to the living room. The song was coming to a close.

“Hiro, I’ve only got about twenty minutes now.” she said, checking her watch.

“That’s plenty of time for a little dancing.” he let go of her hand began to sing along again. “Slam your body down and wind it all around…

"How romantic.” she said dryly, although she was smiling, actually quite amused.

Boy, Hiro recovers quickly. He’s got no shame.

Kenshi: “Kenshi!” she called irritatedly.

“Yeah, just a minute, _______!”

“That’s exactly what you said 10 minutes ago.” she hissed under her breath.

She loved her boyfriend, she really did, but he could be a real doofus sometimes. Like, what guy shows up at his girlfriend’s house to pick her up for a fancy dinner date with his suit in his hand?

“I don’t wanna put it on until I really have to.” he had explained.

And so he had spent the last 25 minutes in her bedroom, putting on his suit. She had no idea how getting dressed could take more than 10 minutes. So much for girls taking long to get ready.

She sat down on the couch, turned on the tv, sighed, and turned it back off. She tried singing under her breath to pass the time. After tapping her foot impatiently for a minute, she had had it. She stood up and walked swiftly to her bedroom. She stopped with her hand on the doorknob when she heard voices- no, a singular voice- coming from inside.

"Who’s the man? Who’s the manly man? That’s right, you are. Kenshi is the man! Let me see those guns- ah, there they are. Lookin’ fresh as ever, Kenny.”

She walked into the room, less angry and more confused. Their eyes met in the mirror Kenshi was standing in front of.

"Kenshi, what are you doing in here?”

“Hey, _______! You can’t just walk in! Respect my privacy, will you?” he said reproachfully, but his eyes looked panicked.

“Kenshi, are you kidding me? You’ve been here for half an hour and you’ve only got your pants on?! Have you been admiring yourself this whole time?”

Kenshi frowned. “Well, no. I took a 10 minute shower, and then I put on my pants, and I, uh, combed my hair.”

“And then you started flexing and got so absorbed in your own reflection that you forgot about our reservations?”

“Oh shit! I totally forgot that you could miss a reservation- I’m so sorry, _______. I was just, uh, fascinated by the full-length mirror- I don’t have one. Do all women have them?”

She couldn’t help but smile in spite of herself. “Was it the mirror that fascinated you, or the hunk- wait, no. What was the term you used? Ah, the manly man- in the mirror that fascinated you?”

Kenshi’s face was slightly pink, but he was looking at her, and he gave a little laugh.

“My God, Kenshi. I would not have expected that from you. Turns out you’re a real narcissist.” she said, smiling and shaking her head.

“Okay, but I’ve got a reason to be, don’t you think?” he joked, striking a ridiculously exaggerated pose.

Atsumu: It was early Saturday morning. LRN wouldn’t open for another hour at least. She had run into Riki as he was on his way out to work, so he had just let her in.

“Boss is probably cleaning in the back.” he had called over his shoulder.

She hummed a bit as she made her way to the kitchens in the back. She was in such a daze, she almost stepped right onto the soaking kitchen tiles. They looked like they had been freshly mopped, but obviously not very good- there were puddles of water everywhere.

Before she could call out to Atsumu, she saw him across the room, singing. It seemed he had not taken notice of her yet.

When she saw him, she realized why his cleaning was so inefficient. He was trying to do multiple things at once. He was struggling to dust the light fixtures whilst simultaneously doing the dishes with one hand and using a foot to move a brush back and forth against the floor.

7 AM, the usual morning lineup. Start on the chores and sweep ‘til the floor’s all clean. Polish and wax-

“Atsumu, what in the world are you doing?” she asked, stepping into the kitchen and cautiously maneuvering around puddles.

“Wha..? Oh, _______!” Atsumu quickly dropped the sponge he was holding into the sink and set the duster down. He made his way toward her, but apparently forgot about the brush right under his foot, because he slipped on it and went crashing to the ground face-first.

“Oh my God, Atsumu! Are you okay?!” she cried out. “Wait, what are you wearing?” she noticed for the first time that he was completely nude, save for his underwear and a frilly apron.

“I’m fine.” Atsumu said, sitting up and rubbing his chin. “And, uh… this is more… liberating.” he frowned, struggling to meet her gaze.

“Oh my goodness. What were you even thinking, attempting so many things at once?” she crouched down beside him.

“Oh, come on. Rapunzel does it. So does pretty much every other Disney princess. It works for them.”

“Can you name a nonfictional scenario where multitasking like that has ended well?” she stood up again, and offered out a hand to help him up. He took it, tugged, and brought her crashing to the ground next to him.

"Oh, _______, are you alright? I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have offered to help me up if you can’t even keep your own balance.” Atsumu said with a chuckle.

They sat there for a moment, laughing, when a thought occurred to her.


“Yes, _______?”

“Does Riki see you like that every morning?” she giggled.

“Ah, no. I usually wait until he’s gone to- to-”

“To strip?”

Unable to look her in the eyes any longer, he pressed his forehead against hers and shut his eyes.

“Yeah.” he smiled.