oh plank

On My Own (Harry Hook) Part Two

Originally posted by adisneylover92things

“You swore you’d never hurt me”

“You swore you’d never leave me On My Own

Part One, Part Two, Part Three

“Tell me this is some kind of sick joke,” You remarked, staring at the two boys in front of you. Jay and Carlos exchanged an uneasy look.

“You’re telling me you took Ben, King Ben of Auradon, to the Isle where most people want nothing more than to see him strung up by his thumbs!?” You exclaimed, suddenly ashamed to be an acquaintance of the two boys. “And you thought that he wouldn’t be kidnapped!?”

“I never said we thought it was a good idea,” Carlos mumbled, looking down at the sharp look given by you.

“And now you want me to come with you on some sort of rescue mission to get him back from Uma of all people?” You quizzed, hoping it all was just some sick joke.

“On the bright side, you can go see your dad!” Jay tried to throw in before making a grimace. “Never mind, that’s not a good thing…”

Carlos worried his lip before his face lit up. “You could rub in their faces how good you’re doing.”

“I’m in.”

Your hands were shaking by the time you reached Pirate’s Bay and laid your eyes on Uma’s ship. The crew still looked as raggedy as you remembered in their war paint. They looked like a kindergartener’s finger-painting project gone wrong.

“Hey guys! They’re here!” A pirate you could easily place as being Gil, the loveable son of Gaston, called out to the crew below him.

You could practically feel your blood pressure rising when Harry’s voice filled your head.

“Welcome!” He called, pushing a terrified Ben to the Plank. Oh how you wanted to knock that grin off his pretty little face. Without thinking your hand came to grasp at the handle of the sword tucked into your belt. Jay gave you a concerned look, as if asking if you were gonna be alright fighting against the pirate if worse came to worse.

You just gave a nod before turning to train your eyes on the blue-haired sea witch, tensing slightly from your spot beside Carlos when she mentioned the killer sharks. Dumb witch, you thought to yourself. Sharks only attacked when provoked or threatened. Auradon taught you that.

Carlos nudged you slightly, motioning with his eyes to the hook-wielding pirate that was slowly but surely making his ways towards Uma and Mal. You may not particularly like the daughter of Maleficent, but you knew how unpredictable Harry could be, so you hopped onto the wooden railing of the docks, crouching down beside Mal with a hand on your sword.

You could tell he was pretending to not notice you, anyone could see that. But you could also see that your presence was unnerving the young brunet from the way he quickly started to fly off the handle. You could only grit your teeth at Uma as she gripped his hook and pulled him away from the two of you. Though, of course the flirt couldn’t without winking and blowing a mocking kiss in your direction.

It seems time didn’t change him at all.

As he made his way back to Ben, you followed his moves, not stopping until you were directly across from the pirate. You didn’t trust him to not shove Ben off the plank for no reason. Frankly, you didn’t trust him to not hook the poor King. The thought alone put you on edge. And from the devilish grin worn by the pirate as he caught your eye, you knew that he knew exactly what was going through your mind.

You could see the grin drop when Mal moved to give Uma the wand, before being stopped by the king. You could practically smell the smoke coming from the use his rarely-operated brain. Either he was dumbfounded that his captain’s plan actually worked… or he knew something was off, he knew there was no way Mal would give up the wand that easily.

You really hoped it was the first option.

You were relieved when he dropped the look, replaced by a grin at Ben trying to bargain with Uma. Maybe he was dumber than he looked. You knew it was a lie, but the thought made you feel better about your breakup all those months ago. Because, as much as you didn’t want to admit it, you’re a petty ex.

Panic began to set in once Uma demanded Mal prove the wand worked. You guys were screwed. But, like usual, Mal prevailed, using Dude-the-now-talking-dog to fake a spell.

“Give me the wand!” Uma demanded seconds later, holding her hand out. Was she always this demanding?

“Give me Ben!” Mal shot back. Uma gave her a grin before calling Harry over. Once again, you followed his movements to be by Mal’s side. You may not have been the strongest, but you knew Harry’s weak spots if Uma were to try and trick you.

You gave a slight laugh as you heard Gil inform Ben about how Gaston wishes he had finished off Ben’s dad when he had a chance. You knew it was true as it was the only thing Gaston ever spoke about. Well, that and Belle. And how incredibly thick his neck is…..You made sure to not come across him often.

Harry pushed Ben to the ground in front of Mal before drawing his sword, you made sure to do the same. You raised your gaze to meet his when he spoke.

“Aw, what’s the matter? Don’t ya trust me, lass?” He asked softly, a mocking pout forming on his face. But, it didn’t match the wickedness in his eyes.

“Cut him loose, Harry,” Uma instructed, eyes trained on Mal and the wand. Harry gave a huff, “I never get to have any fun.”

“Yeah, Harry, listen to your Master,” You remarked, smirking at the evil glare you received in return. Like you said before, you’re a petty ex.

Mal pulled Ben away from the two pirates as Uma rushed to the deck of her ship. Harry lingered, eyes not leaving yours before slowly following his Captain. You had to help Mal pull Ben away from the ship. He wasn’t the brightest King if he didn’t see through the plan. You suddenly worried if your life was in the right hands if he couldn’t tell it was a fake wand.

Uma quickly snapped the plastic wand in two upon realizing it was a fake. And then all hell broke loose. Smoke bombs and pirates alike were flying through the air as you suddenly regretted not practicing sword fighting since you left the Isle.

“Please don’t let me get my hand cut off. I don’t wanna look like Harry’s dad,” you whined before joining in on the fight.

Your eyes widened as you spotted Harry jumping into the water after his father’s hook. Though, you didn’t miss the opportunity to snatch his hat up from the dock. You placed it on your head with a smirk, “Mine now!”

Turning around and quickly ducking, you narrowly avoided getting your head cut off by an overly salty pirate. Pausing to giggle quickly at your own joke, you swiped the sword out of his hand, followed by a swift kick to the crotch that knocked him onto his knees. “Honestly, does she not train you guys at all? It’s almost sad,” You tsked, pushing him off the dock and into the water.

You cussed under your breath when you noticed Ben going against Harry, but then paused. Harry Hook, the son of a pirate, whom would try to behead anyone that dared look at his sisters wrong, was undoubtedly… getting his ass handed to him by a King that had never been in an actual sword fight in his life, literally with one hand behind his back. And it. Was. Hilarious.

“Y/N, come on!” Carlos called out, grabbing your wrist and pulling you to the tunnel after Evie threw a smoke bomb right in front of the pirates.

Pausing by the disoriented son of Hook, you placed his hat on top of his head before running to join the others. You spared the drenched pirate one last glance before disappearing into the tunnel.

Leaving him alone. Again.

“I know he’s on your mind, Y/N,” the voice of the daughter of Mulan filled your ears as you stared over the side of the boat to the Isle.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lonnie,” You replied quietly, even though you both knew it was a lie. You knew exactly who she was talking about.

“I’m sure Harry did miss you. He just couldn’t show it with that Uma girl there,” She soothed, rubbing your back gently. You shook your head, turning to lean your back against the rails. she had just been informed on the situation on the ride from Auradon to the Isle, when you had to explain it was the Captain of your ex boyfriend that had taken the king hostage.

“That’s the problem. Even when we were together he was always Uma this, Uma that, Uma- Uma!?”

You failed to hide your surprise (and rage) at seeing the sea witch as she made her way down the stairs to where King Ben stood. You and Lonnie shared a look before rushing over to Mal’s side. You were no expert on relationships- but even you knew that you definitely did not bring your girlfriend’s worst enemy on a date to a dance you’re supposed to be with your girlfriend at.

And the worst thing was, as she stood before you, dressed in a beautiful gown that matched the blue of her hair you could see exactly why Harry would want her instead of you.

“Harry, the cotillion’s on!” The blonde boy yelled to his friend, whom was busy brooding by the window of Ursula’s fish and Chips. Gil sighed, walking over to the brunet. “Staring at Auradon won’t make you any closer to her, you know. But you can see her on TV.”

The pirate stared at him silently before walking to the table in front of the television. He could feel tears well up in his eyes at the sight of you. He missed you a lot, and it took all of his willpower to not show it when you came to the ship. But, he was scared you would try to stay if you knew how pitiful he was without you. He loved you, and there was no doubt about that. But he couldn’t give you everything you deserved if you came back to the Isle. He wanted you to be happy, even if it meant being away from him.

He took a shaky breath, wiping his eyes.

“You look beautiful, lass.”

A few days after the Cotillion Disaster, you were called into the King’s office. From what the letter you received said (though you didn’t see why he just didn’t tell you in one of your many classes together) it was urgent business, not to be discussed with anyone else. You never thought a two minute conversation could have such an impact on your way of breathing.

“After seeing how harsh the conditions are on the Isle, I have decided to bring a few more kids to Auradon,” Ben stated, standing up from his seat behind his desk.

You raised an eyebrow, watching him carefully, “And what does that have to do with me?” You asked.

Ben cleared his throat, awkwardly coming to stand in front of you. This can’t be good.

“Y/N, there’s no easy way to say this after you risked your life to rescue me from the Isle so I’m just going to say it,” He began, arm sliding around your shoulders to give you a friendly, and suspicious, squeeze.

“Harry Hook is coming to Auradon.”

A/N: So, what do you guys think? Is it good enough to have a part three?

Love Is A Battlefield - Harry Hook x Reader

Harry Hook x Reader [Requested by Anon]

Love Is A Battlefield

139 “Kiss me.” 138 “Don’t argue. Just do it.”  1 “Oh eff you!” “I know you would.”

Originally posted by caitlinsnowqueen

“Leave it to my sister to run from all her problems,” (Y/N) whispered to Carlos as they walked around the Isle to Mal’s old apartment. Evie, Jay, Carlos, and (Y/N) had just told Ben how to blend in as a villain and then decides to bump into Gaston’s son, Gil.

“We’re here,” Evie cut off their conversation as she threw a rock at the sign. “All the way up, good luck,” she whispered to Ben as he ascended the stairs. (Y/N) looked around as they waited for Ben and Mal to come down the stairs. Being the youngest daughter of Maleficent had its ups and downs. Since King Ben had only wanted to take four children to Auradon, and Mal was the oldest she was chosen while (Y/N) was left to rot on the Isle. She made do, however, running around with Hades’ son, Hadie, and Diego De Vil, Carlos’ cousin. She was surprised she was never approached by any of Mal’s enemies, but that’s probably because they were scared Mal would come back to the Isle and hurt them.

While waiting for Ben a couple kids stopped here and there to see if it was really Evie, Jay, and Carlos, (Y/N) snapped at every one of them and drove them off. (Y/N) sighed as she stared up at where she knew Ben and Mal were talking at the moment. Soon enough they heard footsteps and Ben came down first, “So…” Evie said expectantly. “Where’s Mal?”

“She’s not coming,” Ben said sounding heartbroken and defeated as he walked away. Evie looked up before going over to the pipe they used to communicate from the warehouse and the ground.

“Mal, it’s Evie, just let us talk for a minute,” she whispered.

Mal yelled for her to go away and (Y/N) stomped over taking the pipe from Evie’s hands. “Listen up, sis. If you don’t get down here right this minute your little sis is gonna show you what an extra month on the Isle can do to you.” Her voice was harsh, but (Y/N) was ticked off and wasn’t playing around anymore. She got the go away yell too.

“Let’s just give her a couple hours to cool off,” Jay said and put a hand on Evie and (Y/N)’s shoulders.

“Uh, guys,” Carlos turned to them. “Where’s Ben?” he asked and they all looked down the dark alley where Ben disappeared. As Evie starts yelling for Ben a figure appears to walk towards them.

“Ben, don’t scare us like that.” Evie sighed and put a hand over her chest.

“Don’t scare you?” the figure drew closer, revealing it wasn’t Ben at all, it was Harry Hook. “That’s my specialty,” he let out a crazed giggle and looked around at the group.

“Harry! What did you do with Ben?” Evie asked.

“Um, we nicked him. Mhm. And if you want him, have Mal come to the Chip Shoppe, alone.” He looked over at Jay. “Aw, Jay, it seems you’ve lost your touch.” Jay went to lunge for him before getting pulled back by Evie, letting out a giggle at the attempt. He looked over at Carlos, letting out a bark before blowing a kiss to (Y/N) and turning around, starting to whistle ‘Chillin Like A Villain’ as he went.

Jay started to climb up to Mal’s apartment, Evie and Carlos choosing to take the stairs instead. “You guys get Mal to go, I’ll have the backup with me next time you see me.” Making a quick trip to the Underworld-esque home of Hades and Hadie, dragging the blue-haired boy along as they stopped at the other De Vil home, grabbing Diego.

“Come along boys, we’ve got work to do.” (Y/N) gave them both a devilish smirk grabbing some old spray paint cans.

When Mal, Evie, Jay, Carlos, and their Auradon friend, Lonnie, showed up at the docks they were greeted by a wild sight. Horns of Maleficent, Crowns of the Evil Queen, Black and White Patterns of the De Vils, and Lamps of Jafar were spray painted on Uma’s ship.

“They’re here!” They heard Gil yell and saw Harry drag a couple people over to the dock. Ben and a gagged (Y/N), yeah her backup had abandoned her.

“Finally!” Uma yelled with a delighted jump. “Huh! Let’s get this party started, I swear I’m cold-hearted. There’s no negotiation I’m not here for debatin’. You need some motivation? Just look at Ben and (Y/N)’s faces then ask yourself how long you think I’ll remain patient! I’ll throw them overboard and let them swim with killer sharks! You either hand over the wand or they’ll be ripped apart!”

“Now let’s all just be smart, although for you that must be hard. You’ll get your wand—no one has to come to any harm! Don’t try to intimidate, your bark is much worse than your bite. Who’s the baddest of them all? I guess we’re findin’ out tonight!” Mal sang, a glint of fury in her eyes as she saw her younger sister be dangled over the edge.

“Let’s go! Bring it on! Better give us what we want! It’s the wand for the crowns! If you don’t it’s goin’ down!” The pirate crew sang watching as Harry drew (Y/N) closer to the edge than Ben.

“Let’s go! Make your move! Peace or war, it’s up to you. Give them up and do it now! If you don’t it’s goin’ down!”  The VKs (and Lonnie) sang.

“We want the wand! Or else they will be gone! Your time is runnin’ out! You should really watch your mouth!” The pirates sang.

“Let’s go! Pound for pound! We’re prepared to stand our ground! Put your swords up, put ‘em up! It’s goin’ down!” The VKs sang.

“Yo, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Make the trade! Yo, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Or walk the plank! Yo, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Uma, Uma, Uma - la - la - la! Make the trade! Yo, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Uma, Uma, Uma - la - la - la! Or walk the plank!”

Gil jumped down onto the deck and gestured Uma’s arrival back to the front. Uma was now face-to-face with Mal once again.

“Okay, look, this is not a conversation, it’s a do-or-die situation! If you don’t give them back to me, I’ll have no hesitation! I’ll serve you right here, and I don’t need a reservation, that way your whole pirate crew can have a demonstration! Release them now, and we can go our separate ways… Unless you wanna deal with me and the VKs?” While Mal was singing Harry had abandoned holding them at the plank, leaving Gil there instead.

“So that’s your big speech, huh? An empty ultimatum?” Uma tapped Harry’s chin as if giving him permission to speak.

“All it takes is one swing and I’ll humiliate them, matter of fact, make one wrong move, and I’ll debilitate them, and if they even starts to slip, I’ll eliminate them! All it takes is one wrong look and I'll—” Harry was cut off by Uma grabbing him by the hook and pulling him back.

“Harry! We get it. Chill.” Harry blew a kiss to Mal as he walked back to the plank where Ben and (Y/N) were.

“Let’s go! Bring it on! Better give us what we want! It’s the wand for the crowns, if you don’t it’s goin’ down!” The pirates sang.

“Let’s go! Make your move! Peace or war, it’s up to you Give them up and do it now if you don’t it’s goin’ down!” The VKs sang.

“We want the wand or else they will be gone! Your time is runnin’ out! You should really watch your mouth!” The pirate crew sang as Harry twirled Ben and (Y/N) around.

“Let’s go! Pound for pound! We’re prepared to stand our ground! Put your swords up, put ‘em up! It’s going down!” Mal threw her hand up, a gesture for Carlos to hand her the wand.

Carlos handed Mal the decoy wand, of course, Ben and (Y/N) didn’t know it was fake and (Y/N) immediately gestured for Ben to do something since she couldn’t speak.

“Hey, we don’t have to choose! We don’t have to light the fuse, Mal, whatever you do, it’s gonna be a lose-lose there’s gotta be a better way, Uma, I promise I’ll give you your chance, you’ll have your say!” Ben pleaded for his and (Y/N)’s sakes as Uma drew her sword up.

“Silly king! You? Give me? You’re gonna give me a chance? Well, not a chance!” Uma yelled pointing her sword at them as Harry leaned his head on (Y/N)’s shoulder, casting them a wicked grin.

“Yo, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Make the trade! Yo, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!Or walk the plank! Yo, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Uma, Uma, Uma - la - la - la! Make the trade! Yo, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh !Uma, Uma, Uma - la - la - la!”

“Or walk the plank!” Uma grinned at Mal as she held her sword and Mal held the wand. “Give me the wand!” She yelled their song obviously over now.

“Give me them!” Mal yelled back as she stared at Ben and her sister. Uma looked at Mal and then Harry, seeing the way his eyes slightly drifted to the younger Maleficent child.

“Harry!” She called as he dragged them over, dropping them to their knees in front of Mal. Mal held out her hand for them and Uma held hers for the wand. “Harry,” Uma said again as the young pirate sighed and drew his sword to cut the ropes.

“I never get to have any fun!” Harry said with two quick swings upwards the ropes cut off, he used his hook to cut the gag in (Y/N)’s mouth. Ben and (Y/N)’s hands shot forward to grip Mal’s hand as Uma grabbed the wand. Mal hoisted them to their feet and exclaimed that they needed to move now.

(Y/N)’s eyes lock with Harry’s as Uma tries to break the barrier with the fake wand. Seeing as it didn’t work Uma yells out and snaps the fake wand in half.

A swordfight ensues not even moments later as Mal and Carlos start throwing colored smoke bombs at the ship. Jay threw everyone a sword as the pirates started swinging off the ship right into the fight.

Uma went directly for Mal, Gil went for Ben, Harry went for Jay, and the others were fighting random pirates. (Y/N) was near Jay and Harry’s fight she quickly finished off the pirate she was fighting with by kicking him back into the water. She jumps onto the deck above where they were fighting, seeing Jay be pushed against the railing by Harry.

“Harry!” (Y/N) yelled out, a bit desperate for her friend to not be hurt. It caught him off guard for a moment and Jay held the hook in his hand as he kicked Harry backward, his hook still connected to the end of his sword.

Harry looked back at (Y/N) for a moment, then dropped his sword and beckoned for the hook. Jay, however, had other plans as he went to the side railing and dropped the hook into the waters below. Harry didn’t even think twice as he grabbed his sword and dropped into the waters below after it. (Y/N) ran to the side to look in the waters below, seeing the red of his coat swimming to the other side where Uma was standing.

(Y/N) ran over to where Lonnie was fighting and joined in with her watching as Harry called out to Uma to help him up and she did without a second thought. (Y/N) let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding before she saw Uma go for Mal and Harry go for Ben.

Somewhere during the fight after they threw their last smoke bomb, Mal and Ben managed to get away and Carlos, Evie, Jay, and Lonnie ran through the tunnel back to where their limo was parked. Ben called out for Mal and she looked back to her sister who was holding off a couple pirates. “Mal! Just go!” She yelled out to her older sister, kicking back one of the pirates that got too close. Mal didn’t move from the beginning of the tunnel so (Y/N) took matters into her own hands as she kicked the walkway between the tunnel and ship, letting it fall into the waters below.

“(Y/N)!” Mal yelled as Harry Hook appeared behind her and grabbed her around the waist and tugging her back, the swords falling as she went. Mal took one last look at her sister, her yelling for Mal to go, and turned around running back to the limo.

The dungeon on the ship was damp, dark, and cold. (Y/N) took to the floor instead of the uncomfortable mattress they kept in there. It was quite in the cell except for the creaks the ship made as it rocked back and forth. Suddenly a low whistle of ‘The Elegant Captain Hook’ filled the cell and (Y/N)’s eyes drifted from the floor to the bright blue eyes of Harry Hook. He gave her a wicked smile, the mania obvious in his eyes.

“It’s a shame we had to lock ye up, las. But ye cost us our king, our ticket to freedom, not just for us… no, it was for everyone stuck on this cursed island, including ye,” his eyes shined with disappointment. He went to kneel down in front of her. “Ye know I just want what’s best for ye, las.” He placed a hand on her cheek and she leaned into his touch.

“Are you okay?” she asked him, a small frown on her face. His eyes held immense confusion, but before he could ask what she meant she answered for him. “You went in after your hook, you didn’t get hurt by anything in the water, right?” He slowly nodded at her.

“I’m fine, princess,” he assured her as he pulled her into his lap. (Y/N) turned to look at him, nuzzling her face into his shoulder.

“Harry,” she whispered and he turned his head slightly to look at her. “Kiss me.” Harry’s grip on her tightened on her as his eyes widened.

“No, ye need rest, (Y/N), yer not in your right mind state, love. We can talk again when yer rested up nice and well,” he went to lift her and place her on the mattress but she protested and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.

Don’t argue. Just do it.” It wasn’t a request anymore, she meant it as a demand. Harry gave one of his crazed giggles and leaned down, leaving centimeters between their lips.

“On second thought…” (Y/N) growled at him and smacked the back of his head.

Oh eff you!” Harry laughed.

I know ye would.

That was all they said before Harry connected their lips for a short sweet kiss, content with each other’s presence. Harry laid down on the mattress, shifting uncomfortably before placing (Y/N) on his chest, at least she could sleep well tonight.

[I’m sorry for any mistakes in this I didn’t proof read it. Also, I’m incredibly proud of myself for writing this, I got about 2000 words in before I remembered what I was supposed to be putting. Sorry if it seems just there, so yeah, hope you enjoy!]



Pairing: Harry Hook x Peter Pan’s Daughter!Reader

Request: the1theonlyshatayaty said: “Can u do a Harry hook oneshot where she is Peter pans daughter and they were dating before she went back to auradon and she goes with the VKs to help save Ben… Maybe a super fluffy reunion Sorry if it doesn’t make any sense”

& (Because they were so similar)

Anonymous said: “For a harry hook imagine, could you do one where the reader is Peter Pan’s daughter (i honestly love the concept of it) and they go with the VK’s + Ben to get Mal to come back, and something happens where they happen to meet Harry?? (this is really vague but i dont really mind what you decide to do with it) thank you!! ✨”

Prompts: N/A

TW: Betrayal, homesickness, sword fight, light cursing, running away

A/N: I may have gone a bit overboard with this, so it’s really long, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. There are 3,183 words.

Keep reading

Remember when Emma and Killian made pancakes and all was right with the world? And how everyone’s minds turned to all the smutty goodness that was and could have been, especially considering the large and sturdy nature of that table?

Well MY mind went somewhere completely different. As it does. 

700ish words of nonsense. Thanks to @spartanguard for the pep talk

The Heist

“What are you plotting, pirate?”

Lost in his own thoughts, Killian looked up in surprise and straight into the face of Granny Lucas, coffee pot in hand and piercing gaze giving him the once over. Something in her eyes made him feel sure she could indeed read his thoughts - a feeling both disconcerting and with some potential.

An accomplice of Lady Lucas’s standing could be just what he needed - but first, he would need to be sure of her loyalties.

Mock offence at her assumption seemed a good starting point. He clutched his hand to his chest, shock plastered on his face. “That’s quite the piratical stereotype you are perpetuating milady. Why would you think I would be plotting…”

“Cut the crap, Captain,” she interjected, eyes rolling skywards. “You don’t work a diner for 30 years and not learn to read your regulars. That’s your plotting face. So, what cockamamie scheme is that water-logged brain of yours cooking up?”

Killian narrowed his eyes at his interrogator, sensing something amiss in the way amusement twinkled behind her stern facade. There was something not ringing true about her confidence, despite all assertions about her long years of skill-building. There was more to her inquiry than met the eye, of that he was certain.

The older woman’s steely gaze shifted for the briefest second, and suddenly it all became clear.

“Ah, Emma’s mother has been in this morning, I assume?”

To her credit, Granny held her composure for longer than he had predicted, before the twitch at the corner of her lips gave way to a full blown chuckle.

“She seemed quite flustered when I told her about the weekly specials,” she said, indicating a coloured chalkboard behind her. “Could barely look me in the eye when I mentioned my ultimate pancakes.”

Served her right for her lack of courtesy, Killian thought, perhaps a little uncharitably,but Granny wasn’t finished.

“Not much for keeping secrets, the poor dear, so it didn’t take much to get the whole sordid story out of her,” Granny grinned. “ Just make sure you two keep your “pancake making” out of my establishment, thanks very much. I don’t want the health inspectors around.” The delight in the woman’s face as she exaggerated the air quotes spoke volumes about how long she had waited to have the upper hand in their ongoing banter and Killian found it hard not to reward her with a grin.

Especially as he knew full well that ship had already sailed. Several times, in fact.

A confirmation of that fact was unlikely to net him an ally in his endeavours, however, so he held his tongue. Not so his companion, who seemed most eager to hear every detail Snow White had been unwilling to share, and for whom no question seemed too forward.

Given the way he had teased her over the years, he could hardly take offence. 

“Did you really tell her you were going for a cold shower?”


Granny chortled happily at that thought. “You’re incorrigible, Captain.”

“Pirate,” he stated with a shrug, confident at this point in their conversation that he had indeed found the accomplice he needed. She was enjoying Snow White’s discomfort far too readily to have qualms about a tiny bit of banditry…

“Speaking of pirates, are you going to let me in on the plan now? Back to your old vengeful ways?  Someone walking the plank?”

Oh yes, she was exactly who he needed.

“I was actually thinking about a small heist. Game for a spot of petty larceny?”

“Is Leroy a loudmouth?” she said with a grin. Without another word, she reached around and untied her apron strings, folded the garment carefully and placed it on the counter before leaning towards Killian and beckoning him to do the same. “So, what are we after?”

Killian ran his fingers across his chin, the image of a flustered Snow White mingling with the memory of cold, cold water on his skin. Frustrated in every possible sense, he had no intention of a repeat performance and he was going to do whatever it took to ensure that eventuality.

“You and I,” he began, pausing slightly to enjoy the excitement in his partner’s eyes. “We are going to retrieve a key.”

I was going to drag him out to the front lawn for full on shiny sun but the neighbors across the street are busy moving in and I don’t want their first experience in the neighborhood to be OH UM THAT SNAKE IS HUGE I HAVE SMALL CHILDREN CAN WE MOVE AWAY PLEASE

I like to warm up to people before pulling out the big kids or perhaps just never mention the snakes at all that works too.

So instead, I chronicled Dumat’s adventure in the backyard. For reference, he’s just hit 30lbs on the dot and my ball pythons could fit into the back bootycoil in the photo above.

But then I circled around and with the camera between our faces I think he forgot who I was for a moment.

wait who you


oh just mom nvm

cmon mum

Meanwhile, an anole on the roof flipping it’s shit out EITHER GODZILLA CAME HOME OR I’M HIGH AS BALLS

wait wait wait wait


stop everything

what are this

what ARE this????

oh a plank well ok lets go find totoro then he’s in here rite

…no baby no, only a huge cloud of mosquitoes were in there, and I promptly dragged him back inside while I slowly died of bloodloss

and that was our backyard adventure yay~

A Pirate’s Princess

Request: Can I request a Killian Jones one shot where the reader and Killian were enemies in the enchanted forest, but Regina cursed them to be in love and when the curse broke they both still want to be together, but they both still think the other still hates them. So the reader goes to bars and flirt with men and Killian goes to flirt with women. Then they end up talking and tell each other they want to be together.

“Ahh captain (l/n), what might you be doing on my ship?” Captain Hook sneers at you. “Taking back MY ship,” you reply. “Oh no no no no no, I don’t think so,” he deeply chuckles. “Keep your guard up captain,” you say as you pull your sword out of it’s sheath. He raises his eyebrows at you and pulls his sword out. The swords clang, echoing over the sea. “Keep your wits about you lass,” he laughs and knocks your sword out of your hand. “Shit!” you shout. “Ready for me to slit your throat,” he growls at you as he holds the sword up to you.

Meanwhile, across the sea the Evil Queen stood on her balcony. “Do your worst,” she laughs as she releases her curse. The purple smoke rolls over the land and out to the sea, traveling faster and faster towards the Jolly Roger.

“Go ahead and do it already,” you squirm. Hook holds you captive against the wind, and you don’t notice the purple fog rolling up behind you. “What the”- you both turn around and stare at the smoke as it washes over you. The curse does it’s worst, reversing everyone’s behaviors and relationships.

When the fog clears, your memories are gone replaced with fake new ones and you stand wrapped in Hook’s arms, kissing him deeply. “God I love you my pirate princess,” he pulls away and tells you. “I love you too Killian,” you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him some more. Killian scoops you up into his arms and carries you below deck. “God you are beautiful,” he says huskily, throwing you down on the bed. You giggle as the pirates scruffy neck brushes against yours when he nibbles on your earlobe. “Oh God, Killian,” you moan. He continues to trail his tongue across your body, making you squirm. You roll over on top of him and say seductively, “Get ready for the ride of your life Hook.”

45 minutes later, the two of you lay in his cabin, tangled up in skin. You hear footsteps above deck and ask him, “Who is that?” “Dunno love,” he answers. The two of you slip on your pirate garb and exit to the top deck. “Who are you?” Killian asks a blonde haired woman standing on deck. “I am Emma Swan, and I need your help Captain.” “Sorry, love, we have our own matters to attend to,” Killian absent-mindedly tells her as he wraps his arms around your waist and tries to get you riled up again. “Killian, wait, we should help her,” you try to wriggle out of his grasp. Emma smiles at you gratefully. Killian sighs and says, “Alright, alright, Ms. Swan, what do you need?” “The Evil Queen released a curse, and I need to get to her to break the curse. She has my son,” Emma pleads. “What curse?” you both say in reply. “A dark curse. It reversed every behavior and relationship of everyone in the enchanted forest,” she tells you. “I’m sorry you must be mistakened Ms. Swan, because that would mean that (Y/n) and I wouldn’t be married, and that’s not possible,” Killian says. “Actually it is. I was transported here from my home when the curse was released, but I happen to know that you two hate each other in real life,” she tells you. “No, not possible, I love Killian, he’s my best friend, and we’ve been married for 5 years,” you say in disbelief. “Don’t believe me, why don’t we go find out?” Emma implores your adventurous side. “Very well, we’ll set sail right away, I suppose,” Killian groans. “See I told you you could be a good pirate,” you chuckle and kiss him sweetly. You reluctantly pull away from the kiss and say, “I’m sorry, proper introductions haven’t been made. I am (y/n) Jones and this is Killian.” “You can call me Hook,” Killian chimes in. She looks at the two of you all being lovey dovey and says, “For your sake, I hope this curse isn’t real.” You hoist the main sail and travel towards the queen’s castle.

When you arrive three days later, you dock the boat into the harbor. “Well, I’ll be back, I suppose you can just wait here,” Emma shrugs and walks off. When she leaves, you turn to Killian and frown. “Killian, Killian, what if it’s true? What if this is a curse and in this other world, we really do hate each other? I can’t imagine that but what if it’s true?” you ask him. “(Y/n), love, it can’t be true. It can’t be true because I cannot imagine myself loving anybody but you,” he pulls you into him. “I’m still scared,” you admit to him. He pulls your chin up towards him and says, “Darling, it’s not possible for me to hate you. Not even probable.” “But Killian”- he cuts you off by smashing his lips on yours. He drags his tongue across your teeth, making you shiver. “God I love you,” he growls. “I love you too,” you grin and press your lips against his again. He forms his mouth into an “O” shape and bites your bottom lip, making you quiver. Killian holds you by your collarbone and presses you up against the side of the ship. You passionately drag your finger nails into his back and run your hands through his hair. The two of you are so caught up in each other, that you once again don’t see that Emma is about to break the curse. There is a flash of light and the two of you slowly pull away from each other.

“(L/n)? What the bloody hell happened?” he asks you. You touch your swollen lips and say, “I’m not sure.” Killian also puts a hand to his lips and pauses. “Well, no matter, get off my ship,” he points towards the plank. “What? Oh come on Jones I know that we have our differences, but let’s at least get a drink. We need to figure out what happened,” you cross your arms. “Aye,” he nods and turns away.

The two of you sail off towards another port and Killian stands at the helm, watching you. You stand at the front of the ship, overlooking the water. “What the hell happened back there? Were we in love? Did we have sex?” you think to yourself. As you sail away the memories slowly start to come back to you and you gasp. “We did sleep together!” you mutter. “What was that (l/n)?” Killian calls out to you. “What? Oh nothing!” you call back. “God she’s so beautiful. Wait, what are you thinking Killian, she’s your enemy and besides, she hates you,” Killian tells himself, as he stares at you. You look back out at the sea, and let the memories wash over you. “If only that could be our real life,” you sigh to yourself. Killian lets his mind wander, and soon his thoughts are only filled with images of you. He recalls that the two of you had sex under the curse and pretty soon, his mind only replays that moment in his head.  Pretty soon the two of you reach dock and you still don’t realize you’ve arrived. “(Y/n)- I mean (L/n), we’re here,” Killian comes up behind you. “Oh ok,” you say absent-mindedly. “Got any ideas of what happened to us?” he asks you. “Nope,” you lie, “You?” “Umm, no I don’t think so,” he replies. Killian gestures towards the dock and lets you take his hand to steady yourself as you step onto the dock. He still holds your hand on the dock, and when he realizes he is, he quickly drops it. “After you,” he mumbles. So you walk ahead of him. You can feel Killian’s eyes on you, making you blush. He stares at your leather pants, knee high boots, and red leather vest, your (h/c) hair a wavy mess around you. “God she’s like a pirate princess,” he thinks to himself as he watches her walk towards the bar.  

They enter the bar, grab some rum, and sit down. “So do you actually know what happened?” he asks you. “Well, I’m not sure,” you lie, “I know that we kissed, but I’m not sure what else.” “(Y/n), level with me. I know that I remember more than I said. Do you?” he asks you. You sigh and pound your fist on the table. “Alright Killian I remember ok! I remember everything. I remember that we were married, that you called me your pirate princess, that we even had sex! But I didn’t want to say anything because I know we hate each other and it was just because of the curse. So can we just forget about it?” you say. For a pause, he was silent. Everything inside of you begged him to fight for you, for him to say he didn’t care if you were cursed, that he loved you. The moment passed and Killian says, “Of course we can forget about it.” The two of you down your rum in silence when a whore-ish looking pirate wench came up to Hook and began flirting. “Hey big guy,” she drags her finger across his chest. “Wanna buy me a drink,” she leans into him. You scoff and turn away. “Very well, two can play at this game,” you think. So you get up and walk towards the other side of the bar. You find an average looking pirate and plant yourself right in his lap. “How ‘bout you buy me a drink?” you say seductively. He growls in response and smashes his lips on yours. His lips tasted of bad breath and alcohol. He picks you up and drunkenly sets you on the bar. “Let’s give this lady a drink,” he tells the bartender. The bartender obliges and passes you the rest of a bottle of rum that you dink straight out of. The unnamed pirate pushes his hand up your thigh and sloppily kisses your neck. You look over to see the other girl also sitting in Killian’s lap, angering you. You grab the pirate by the collar of his vest and push your lips on his. The pirate drunkenly rubs his hands all over you and things begin to heat up. You open your eyes to look at Killian and see the pirate angrily staring back at you, fist tightly held. You smile to yourself and go back to kissing the pirate before you. He shoves his tongue down your throat, almost making you gag. You swallow your disgust and kiss him back, when someone yanks him away from you. Killian pulls him off of you and says, “Get off of her you filthy pirate!” The man drunkenly turns around and says, “Get lost mate.” In response Killian throws his fist back to rev up, and punches the man, knocking him to the ground. “Killian! What the hell!” you shout. Instead of responding, he throws you over his shoulder and carries you outside. “Killian put me down!” Everyone in the bar stares at you as he carries you out. You hit him over the back with your fists, but are defenseless against him. “Put me down right now!” you shriek. Killian still doesn’t answer, and instead carries you aboard his ship. He descends below deck and sits you on the bed in his cabin. “Killian if you’re kidnapping me I  swear to”- Your cut off by Killian practically jumping on top of you, attacking your lips with his. He holds himself up on his elbows and intertwines his tongue with your own. For a moment you’re pulled into the kiss, but quickly come to your senses. “Killian what the hell?” you push him off of you and stand up, walking towards the door. He runs after you above deck. You try to leave, but he grabs your hand. “(Y/n) wait!” “What?” you turn around, tears coming to your eyes. “I just, I don’t want you to leave alright? I wish we were our cursed selves because I just, I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay. I want us to be together, just like when we were cursed. Will you stay?” he asks you. Time stands still, but you don’t even have to think about your answer. Instead you run towards him, wrap your arms around his neck and plant your lips on his. After a beat you pull away and say, “Of course I’ll stay. This is what I want too. I just thought you didn’t so that’s why I tried to make you jealous,” you confess. “Well love to be fair, I tried to make you jealous too,” he replies, holding you close to him. He runs his hand through your hair and you close your eyes and smile. “You are my pirate princess,” he whispers as he pulls you into his arms. You breath a sigh of relief and say, “Thank god.” Killian looks at you and plants a sweet, tender kiss on your lips. The two of you stand in the moonlight, holding each other close.

Hope you guys like this, this is my first piece on this page. Love ya’ll and continue to send in requests!

~Hannah Banana :) 

with-a-hint-of-pesto-aioli  asked:

Your fics and blog makes this small corner of the world seem big. ❤ For the prompt​ list, 1, 2, and/or 5 Gaston x Reader, please!

yesss!! here is #2, and i know that mod gaston is doing the others 🕷️💋
@ronijdubb @blackxthexbeast @fanfictionlover10 @with-a-hint-of-pesto-aioli ((i know this is your ask but idk if it notifies you when a blog answers your ask?)) @definitely-nota-fangirl @epicfallenismine 

@gawston @withouthannah @the-fic-files @supernaturalimagines666@frozenhuntress67
i hope i got everyone, i just went through the asks people have sent us asking to be tagged in gaston fics & previous fics, if you replied to a post asking to be tagged in batb/gaston shoot us an ask and i can add you to my list //

Prompt 2: Person B is getting pushed around. Person A offers to beat them up, but Person B is too independent for that. Person A decides there is only one thing to do, teach Person B to fight.

“Come on, I could do better in my sleep!”

“Gaston…I’m not…Used to…This…” You grunted rhythmically as you continued.

“Please, I’m getting tired.”

“Don’t make me take over, because you know I’ll only be more merciless.”

“Oh god alright, alright! Just…A few…More…So close…Ah!”

You finished, collapsing onto the floor, panting heavily.

If anyone were to hear the noises that were coming from your home, they certainly would get ideas. Yet fortunately you weren’t exercising quite in that way.

“I hate situps. Why did I think adding them into my training was okay?”

“Because I suggested it to you,” Gaston smiled from his seat a few feet away. Though he was your trainer, he spent his time ‘encouraging’ you, or as you liked to say, “Threatening you to do better or else he’ll up the ante and add three times the amount of training you already were doing to your workout.”

He preferred his way of saying it more.

“I regret asking your opinion,” you say, dragging yourself onto the couch.

“I offered to beat that guy up for you, but you said -”

“I am perfectly capable of handling myself, I just need to buff up a bit. Yes, I am fully aware, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“It was sarcasm.”

“…You’re welcome.”

You wiped the sweat off of your forehead, “Maybe I should let you just beat that guy up after all.”

“No, you’re in this for the real deal now. I’m just here to make sure you don’t slack. Now c’mon, thirty second planks. Or would you prefer the half mile run first?” he smirked, raising an eyebrow.

“Just, a five minute break, please…” you closed your eyes, still gasping for air.

“If you do the half-mile, I’ll run it with you, and you know -”

“- That you run shirtless, yes I know. I’ll take the planks, please.”

“Oh, come on! I have nice abs.”

“More like flabs, really.”

“You did not just - You know what? Fine,” his voice went from playfully flirty to seriously offended, “You’re doing two minute planks, and you’ll do the full mile run. Alone. With none of my amazing qualities, abs included, to accompany you,” he crossed his arms and looked away in a childlike fashion.



Trying to explain Avenue Q to my mom and her boyfriend
  • Me: ok so
  • Me: there's two homosexuals, an unemployed man, his asian stereotype wife who is played by an asian woman so its not as offensive as it could be, a kindergarten teacher, a guy who stays upstairs and masturbates all day, and then this guy who just moved in
  • Mom: Wasn't the guy who just moved in coming to terms with homosexuality
  • Me: no thats a different guy
  • Me: wait
  • Me: theres only ONE homosexual and then his roommate who is not a homosexual
  • Me:
  • Me:
  • Me: Oh, and then there's Gary Coleman.
  • Mom: i forgot about him.

[Harry Hook]


Let’s get this party started
I swear I’m cold hearted
There’s no negotiation
I’m not here for debatin’
You need some motivation
Just look at Ben’s face then ask yourself
How long you think I’ll remain patient

I’ll throw him overboard
And let him swim with killer sharks
You either hands over the wand
Or he’ll be ripped apart

Now let’s all just be smart
Although for you that must be hard
You’ll get your wand
No one has to come to any harm
Don’t try to intimidate
Your bark is much worse than your bite
Who’s the baddest of them all
I guess we’re finding out tonight

[Uma & Crew]
Let’s go, bring it on
Better give us what we want
It’s the wand for the crown
If you don’t it’s going down

Let’s go, make your move
Peace or war it’s up to you
Give em up and do it now
If you don’t it’s going down

We want the wand
Or else the king is gone
Your time is running out
You should really watch your mouth

Let’s go, pound for pound
We’re prepared to stand around
Put your swords up, put ‘em up
It’s going down

Yo-oh, ho-oh, oh-oh
Make the trade!
Yo-oh, ho-oh, oh-oh
Or walk the plank

Yo-oh, ho-oh, oh-oh
Make the trade!
Yo-oh, ho-oh, oh-oh
Or walk the plank

Okay, look
This is not a conversation
It’s a do or die situation
If you don’t give me back the king

I’ll have no hesitation
I’ll serve you right here
And I don’t need a reservation
That way your whole pirate crew
Can have a demonstration
Release him now
And we can go our separate ways
Unless you wanna deal with me
And the VK’s

So that’s your big speech huh?
An empty ultimatum

[Harry Hook]
All it takes is one swing and I’ll humiliate him
Matter of fact, make one wrong move and I’ll debiliate him
An if he even starts to slip, I’ll eliminate him
All it takes is one wrong and I’ll ….

Harry, we get it, chill

[Uma & Crew]
Let’s go, bring it on
Better give us what we want
It’s the wand for the crown
If you don’t it’s going down

Let’s go, make your move
Peace or war it’s up to you
Give em up and do it now
If you don’t it’s going down

We want the wand
Or else the king is gone
Your time is running out
You should really watch your mouth

Let’s go, pound for pound
We’re prepared to stand around
Put your swords up, put 'em up
It’s going down

[King Ben]
Hey, we don’t have to choose
We don’t have to light the fuse
Mal, whatever you do it’s gonna be a lose-lose
There’s gotta be a better way
Uma, I promise I’ll give you your chance
You’ll have your say

Silly King, you give me?
You’re gonna give me a chance?
Well not a chance!

[Uma & Crew]
Yo-oh, ho-oh, oh-oh
Make the trade!
Yo-oh, ho-oh, oh-oh
Or walk the plank

Yo-oh, ho-oh, oh-oh
Make the trade!
Yo-oh, ho-oh, oh-oh
Or walk the plank

—  It’s Goin’ Down - Disney Descendants 2
Papyruses React To Their First Hailstorm on The Surface

Here’s to Texas’ weird af weather.

UT! Papyrus (Paps)-

“NYEH!?” Pap startles at the first tick, but instantly returns to stirring his noodles. Then a second tick, then a fourth tick, then an eleventh tick…

Next thing you know, a flurry of ice is hitting the house and Papyrus can no longer ignore the threat.


“that’s pretty cool, bro.”


Oh yeah, Paps is boarding up all entrances and windows for extra precautions. The poor bab is stressed as heck. Help him.

UF! Papyrus (Edge)-

Edge is nasal bone deep in his dating manual when he hears some incessant tapping sounds. At first, he tries to ignore it, but soon enough the sounds start getting to him.


“it’s not me. i swear, b-boss!”

Edge’s mouth goes agape as he sees pellets of ice start to pelt at the windows. “SANS!” He almost falls off his chair as he scampers away from his reading spot. “SOMEONE’S ATTACKING US WITH ICE! WE MUST RETALIA-”

Realization hits him that his beautiful black convertible may or may not be getting destroyed by a bunch of ice bullets from hell. “MY CAR!”

Ho boy. Give this guy a chill pill. 

Sans took care of everything btw, including the car.

US! Papyrus (Stretch)-

He’s read the daily weather report, he’s seen the news. However, nothing would prepare him for the magnificence that was the storm itself. 

He’s a nerd. Of course he’d love storms.


Sitting at a safe distance from the window, he stares dreamily outside, a notepad and pen resting in his lap. From the overcast sky to the falling ice, the storm had drawn and captured Stretch’s attention. Some sci-ency notes are scribbled on the papers and a satisfied grin is plastered on his face.

Ah yes, this is the life. He’s just missing a bottle of honey. 


In fact, he’ll get that right now.

SF! Papyrus (Rus)-

He gets a little anxious when he first hears the first thunk. Twirling around to face the window, the atmosphere looks a lot darker and ice is falling at a progressive pace.

“is that…” He’s scratching his head. “ice?”

A little more relieved that the sounds weren’t anything else, he allows himself to plop on the couch and observe. “huh.” He says with wonder.

He relishes in his brief quiet moment before he hears a screech from upstairs.


Gym stuff

So I rock up to the gym this arvo thinking that I have my final assessment and then a PT session after (as we have done for the last 6-7 weeks). We go upstairs for my assessment and then afterwards he goes “ok great, well that’s it. So I’ll book you in for a PT session the same time next week?”……….. And I was like….. oh….kay?? I felt like saying “why the fuck didn’t you just book me in today straight after the assessment like we had been doing for the last few months!?” 

Anyway, so I had no earphones/music as I was expecting PT to be happening, and I had to make up my own session on the spot. I was pretty peeved at the whole situation.

So I basically just did warm up on the rower, lat pull downs, overhead presses, dumbbell chest press and deadlifts. Oh and the plank as part of the assessment. A pretty half arsed session though because I wasn’t prepared. 

I did meet a nice guy in the gym though. I set up next to him for chest press and then when I went over to do deadlifts he was doing tricep pulldowns next to me and started chatting. He said “you’ve been a member here for a while hey?”. Its funny how everyone in the gym just goes about their own business but when you stop and talk you realise people do actually notice you. Tbh I should forget my earphones more often because, whilst I am not usually a talker, I actually like chatting to people in the gym. Sometimes it is the only way I meet new people now that I don’t go for big nights out anymore.