oh of course he's going to end it tragically

Patrochilles Superhero AU
  • Patroclus is a plain, ordinary medical student who always gets into bad situations and has to be saved by the hero Achilles, but that’s okay because Achilles gives him his number.
  • Achilles is the perfect hero–inhumanly fast, impeccable aim, beautiful, yet he goes and helps that Patroclus kid when he loses his phone in a sewer, or his papers scatter all over, at least twice a week.
  • Eventually, Achilles has enough and asks him to come out for coffee and people cannot believe that the Achilles is out with this random dude. And like, of course, Patroclus just blushes and turns his head while Achilles proudly announces they are on a date.
  • BUT ACHILLES HAS NEVER DATED BEFORE? LIKE??? HE KNOWS WHAT IT’S ABOUT, BUT HE ONLY UNDERSTANDS FROM MOVIES AND NO, ACHILLES, ANY MOVIE WITH A TRAGIC ENDING IS NOT A GOOD MOVIE TO GO OFF OF
  • Anyways, Patroclus has to honestly show Achilles how things work for a normal person, since he’s just been given everything his entire life, and they actually have a great time and laugh a lot.
  • They end up giving each other their first kiss and oh my gosh, Achilles won’t stop cuddling when he ‘forgets his address’ conveniently all the time, and it’s too cold for the couch. Some hero.
  • Patroclus becomes a target, because Achilles is just so fucking excited and proud about him. Like? Once they date more and become boyfriends, Achilles will gush at the freaking speeches he has to give ABOUT HOW PATROCLUS GOT A HUNDRED ON A QUIZ!! A 15 POINT QUIZ!!!!
  • Patroclus actually has the power of healing, but it isn’t discovered until much later, but, he can’t heal himself…
7

CRONUS: after all that vwent dowvn do you knowv vwhat the jackass does? dont answver that, and keep your mitts dowvn it vwas a rhetorical question.

 CRONUS: the big bad magical-jackass-vwho-must-not-be-named pulls some kind final hoo doo right vwhen hes about to go dowvn, i vwas truly shocked, like, vwowv friend, lowv blowv. 

CRONUS: so, vwhat does the heroic stud type like me get after all of that? youd think that itd be something grand, like someone vwith a nice rack, but nooo (#of freaking COURSE). as usual, IM the one getting the short end of the stick. get this, i get twvo stupid tiny scratc–

CRONUS: tragic, tragic… tragic battle marks for an eternities vworth of time. (#scars #vwounds #marks #tragic #hero).