oh no i don't give a shit

  • Pete: Hi
  • Brendon: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."
the signs when they've had enough of everyone's shit:
  • Aries: *scrolls through memes on instagram* you will beg on your feet when i destroy the world one day smh *forgets the fight and hugs you 2 mins afterwards*
  • Taurus: Give me a coffee or I will write a novel and insult you all in it because im too nice to say it in your face
  • Gemini: *smiles evily and plots your death in spanish* yes Karen I love you haha :)
  • Cancer: *sighs* what can i do when i love them
  • Leo: *screams while crying* I WAS THE BEST AND YOU WILL YEARN FOR ME ONE DAY BUT I WoNT BE HERE
  • Virgo: *puts glasses on and invites you for tea* Sit down, we need to have a deep, thorough conversation and analyze all the possible aspects of the spheres of our conflict, therefore solving it properly, without further misconceptions on that particular topic.
  • Libra: Ya'll don't deserve me smh but ur all my friends and i wont do anything bad bc i love u
  • Scorpio: *sobs up* I just wanted to be supportive but y'all dont know when to stop
  • Sagittarius: *kills everyone in their way with their laser-beam eyes*
  • Capricorn: Oh look, Im sad, therefore im gonna turn off my phone, stay at home for 3 millenias and play trashy video games
  • Aquarius: *finds new friends and doesnt even give a shit about their old friends*
  • Pisces: I just need to get laid, otherwise I promise there will be casualties
  • INSTAGRAM: the.signs.daily
Me as a parent
  • kid: mom tell me a story
  • me: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."

 I just want Dick Grayson and Jason Todd to be sitting down and eating (like at Batburger or shit) and Dick starts talking like “Oh yeah, me and the Titans bla bla…” and Jason just nods along because goddamn, not another Nightwing toy until Dick says “And then Roy kind of…” and then Jason goes all “Roy? Roy Harper? Is that little shit with you!? why dO YOU HAVE MY LITTLE SHIT!? GIVE ME MY LITTLE SHIT BACK, GRAYSON OR I SWEAR TO FUCK!!”

the signs as eccentric Shakespeare-themed quotes from my theatre troupe:
  • Aries: Yes the wives of Windsor are merry, but are they happy inside? Are they emotionally fulfilled?
  • Taurus: Trinculo can't hold his liquor, that's why Stephano left him for a half-fish demon.
  • Gemini: Be gentle with Yorick! Or Ivan, or Lin-Manuel Miranda or whatever his name is, he came from Target.
  • Cancer: As if Othello would be caught dead in a onesie.
  • Leo: My father would kill me if I was in Titus Andronicus, but I would also give my left hand for a role... you see my problem.
  • Virgo: And we all know why scenes end without a set change? *unified chant* So they could relight the lanterns.
  • Libra: Make Phebe a lesbian! Make everybody gay! I don't care.
  • Scorpio: Try me, Prospera! *crash backstage* Oh, shit.
  • Sagittarius: Get out of my face with your Oxfordian bullcrap.
  • Capricorn: We can't perform it as well because Shakespeare only hired magicians for his troupe...
  • Aquarius: Ferdinand and Miranda are just Romeo and Juliet with heavy lifting.
  • Pisces: The Bard is witty, alright! Also a douchebag!
Don't even try to tell me they wouldn't do shit like this
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>Victor:</b> *Over the phone* YUURI, OHMAHGAWD YUURI I NEED YOU TO COME HOME RIGHT NOW<p/><b>Yuuri:</b> *Anxiety riddled mind pictures blood. From where, he doesn't know, but there's a LOT* OH GOD WHY, WHAT HAPPENED?<p/><b>Victor:</b> I LEFT THE BACK DOOR OPEN AND THERE IS A /FOX/ GIVING BIRTH IN THE LIVING ROOM.<p/><b>Yuuri:</b> Victor, what the fuck.<p/><b>Victor:</b> EVERY TIME I TRY TO MOVE IT OUTSIDE MAKKA GROWLS AT ME, THEY'RE FRIENDS NOW, I CAN'T JUST PUT HIS FRIEND OUT IN THE COLD, YUURI.<p/><b>Yuuri:</b> Not only did you let a fucking pregnant fox into our living room, you managed to get attached?<p/><b>Victor:</b> I called for help, Yuuri, I could've tried to hide her.<p/><b>Yuuri:</b> *Deep sigh* Well, show Makka you mean no harm, put some water down for her, I'll be home in a bit.<p/><b></b> .<p/><b></b> *Many hours And 5 baby Fennec Foxes later*<p/><b>Victor:</b> MAKKA LOVES THEM OMG<p/><b>Yuuri:</b> We can't keep 6 new pets to cater to Makka's nurturing needs, Victor.<p/><b>Victor:</b> *Pulling Yuuri's chin to see Makka curled around all five pups while the mama rests her head on Makka's.* You wanna break up Makka's new wife and their babies?<p/><b>Yuuri:</b> *Cringing* That isn't fair!<p/><b></b> .<p/><b></b> That's how they got 6 new Fennec Foxes.<p/></p><p/></p>
Phantom of The Opera
  • erik: yo im just gonna blow up some shit im real creepy and im gonna kill that fuckboy kk bye
  • raoul: hey girl I WAS THE BOY WHO FETCHED YOUR SCARF IN THE SEA REMEMBER ME DO YOU LET ME GIVE YOU ROSE FEEL MY HAND THATS BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
  • managers: christine we got this down oh shIT WE DON'T
  • carlotta: all you twig bitches dont listen to me especially you ramen noodle hair girl
  • madame giry: yeah theres this man whos like older than you but he likes you ok christine
  • meg: christine THERES A MAN WHO IS CREEPY AS FUCK
  • christine: i just asked for singing lessons
percussion during a slow piece
  • percussion instructor: *sitting there fuming*
  • snare: "what's that? did I turn the snare off- of course I turned the snare off, why would I forget to d- shIT I left the snare on-"
  • bass drum: I wonder if I held that pause on that rest on for long enough? I don't think the 42 bars of rest really prepared me for that moment so forgive me if I'm mistaken
  • auxiliary percussion: "must. not. touch them until it's time... ten bars to go-- whO BREATHED ON THE WIND CHIMES-"
  • triangle: how am I expected to make a dynamic contrast who do you think am are
  • suspended cymbal: ssssssshhhHHHHHHHINGG oh wait that was supposed to be pp
  • glockenspiel: alright, I've got a pretty good part here, maybe it's the tune, not much else going on s--crap everyone heard me mess up time to die
  • vibraphone: "what's that? did I turn the brakes- of course I turned the brakes on, I'm using the pedal! why would I forget to t- shIT I'm sliding forwards-"
  • drumkit: *rocking backwards and forwards in a corner*
  • timpani: ppp? I think I'll just blow on the drum, don't worry my 73 bars of rest will give me time to take a nice deep breath

Ok but Percy Jackson isn’t just cute or even just hot he’s ACTUALLY ATTRACTIVE BECAUSE OF HIS PERSONALITY like he’s relatable to the readers and he’s not disturbing with millions of sex jokes and he respects Annabeth and gives her credit for how badass she is and admits his faults and ACTUALLY TRIES TO IMPROVE THEM and he loves his mom and he’s just so respectful??? Like???

  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: It's the summer of 2001. Joe meets Patrick and he's like, "Yo. I know about music." And Patrick's like, "Yo. I know more about music." "That's impossible. D'you wanna start a band?" And Patrick's like, "... Yeah, that's cool." and then he's like, "Yo, this is a book store, it's not a music store!" And then, they met at Patrick's house. So Patrick's wearing shorts, and socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason. They start playin' music together. They're like "Oh, let's play some fuckin' covers from some other bands." It was like Green Day... and fuckin' Misfits... and fuckin' Ramones... Pete said to Joe, "Yo, we gotta change this shit up." "Yo. We played all these bands, let's play shit from Fall Out Boy." And so Pete and Patrick are like "Yo, that's dope. But we need a fuckin' drummer!" Because Patrick's playin' drums and he's a singer! And Patrick's like, "Yo, I got a soul voice." And they're like, "Wait, how do you have a soul voice?" And he's like, "Yo, watch this: YEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEaAAAAHHH!" And they're like, "Oh my god, that sounds like soul!" So they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIIING?!" And then they're like, "Yo, that's fuckin' perfect. This is Fall Out Boy." And they made records like Evening Out with Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out with Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it... with your ex-girlfriend. It's called Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. It's called Eating Out Your Girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like "Yo, what the FUUUCK! Yo. this is gonna be fuckin' dooooope!" So they made a record, and it was called Take This to Your Grave. They made it without a drummer! And they had like three, four drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like, Josh Freese... Neil Peart, the dude from Toto... The fourth one was like the guy from like Papa Roach or something. And they're like, "Yo, we need Andy Hurly. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." And he did it, and he killed it, and he was like bigadigalulululululuPSSHHH! Killin' the skins! Tappin' the skins, tappin' the rim. Playin' the shit. Killin' these bitches. Wrappin' it out. (You're getting a fucking tattoo right now! What the fuck is going on?!) "We should get signed to Fueled by Ramen. 'Cause these guys know wha the fuck is goin' on." They were like, "Yo. If you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard. We will sign you guys." he was like, "Yo! We got this record that's fuckin' dope, dude! It's called Take This to your Grave. And it's called From Under the Cork Tree, and it's gonna be fucking huge. And then Patrick's like, "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album, it's called - **burp** - it's called Thanks for the Memories, Twenty Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar We're Goin' Down. And they made this record that was fucking dope and it fucking hit on the charts, like one, two, three! Three two one! Three four five six seven eight nine teeen! Ten to one! From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records... ten million records.! ...fifteen million records! And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record! And Patrick is like, "That's GOooOooOooOooOooOooOd!" pete was like, "Yo, FUCK YOU! I can do whatever I want!" Joe was like, "...yeah, it's cool man, whatever. I don't give a shit." And then Andy was like, "...eh...cool." And Pete was like, "Makeup is fuckin' great for a guy. Because, it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lotta times, a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that. I wanna make sure that everybody thinks that guys are beautiful." **cut to Brendon spitting for 30 seconds** (shutthefuck - oh, fuck... alright, alright.) Pete was like, "Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic!" And then I saw the dick pic and I was like, "Eh, it's not bad." It's not a bad dick. Let's be real. We made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy. And Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us. They were so pissed! They were like, "Yo, fuck you guys!" They're like, "YO! Panic has the fucking cover of Rolling Stone? Yo, FUCK these dude! We're gonna go fucking miles above! We're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man!" But they didn't! Because they missed a second of time. Apparently. They were like, "Oh, shit, we got every continent!" But they didn't actually hit it. Dude, Pete was like, "what the FUCK?!" Oh, you didn't make the continent.. It's like fuck you! So, From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three, four years of awesomenes.s... Like, people are cumming on themselves, 'cause it's so big. **people talking in the background, Brendon spills/pours beer on himself** Alright. So Fall out Boy was like, so Patrick's like, "Yo, we're gonna name this record from uru - From Under the Cork Tree and from inity-isf - **laugh** From Infinity on High. Pete was like, "Yo. Folie a Deux means the theatric of two." Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. Fall Out Boy was like, "Yo, we gotta take a break." Meaning, Pete was like, "Yo. We gotta take a break, bruh." And Patrick's like, "I need time for my music. OOHH!" And Joe's like, "Yo. I need to find the fuckin' art, dude. I gotta find some fuckin' meau-metal." And Andy's like, "I'm just gonna play with some fuckin' metal bands." And they're like, "Alright. This break's been like three years long. Two years long. Three years long." Three and a half...? "We gotta fuckin' come back, man. We gotta come back strong." (You took my beer away! What the fuck? **someone in the back: You poured it all over yourself! You poured it on yourself, man.**) "We gotta make this shit legit, it's gonna be fuckin' dope. It's gonna go fuckin' sky high. We're gonna make a fuckin' record that sails the skies. We're gonna call this record... Save Rock and Roll." So they made Alone Together, Light 'Em Up, Alone Together, Phoenix. And everybody's like, "What the fuck? You're workin' with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and Pink..." (There's p - what the fuck is on my shirt, did I puke on myself? **people in the background telling him he poured beer on himself** oh, god...) Pete was like, "Yo, we're gonna end up on a tour with Panci! At the Disco and Twenty Pilots." And that's all. That's all that matters. And that's just how the fuckin' story goes.

anonymous asked:

I had this crazy idea about Genma/kakashi like, imagine Bookstore-Owner!Kakashi chilling behind the counter reading some porn when his door slams open and this very annoyed but super sexy Florist!Genma storms in heading straight for Kakashi. Genma slams his hands down on the counter, glaring at Kakashi and says "I swear to god if you don't have a book on flower meanings I'm going to murder my customer." And Kakashi discovers Genma's hot and florists couldn't give 2 shits about flower meanings.

(Thank you anon, oh my god I’ve been fiddling with like 15 different WIPs for the past 6 hours and didn’t realize that THIS is what my brain was looking for, but IT IS PERFECT.)


Kakashi is about halfway through the display copy of the newest Icha Icha book, idly swirling the dregs of the mocha Obito had brought him earlier when he stopped in to yell about Kakashi needing to fend for himself for dinner because he had a date goddamnit—Kakashi is skeptical, because this is Obito, and he’s willing to wager an empty stomach that whatever bastard has set their eyes on Obito is going to end up needing a trip to the emergency room when they show their creep colors before the second course—and vaguely contemplating whether he should reorganize the self-help section again. It’s always amusing to tell people who ask him where things are in it that he can’t help them, because they need to help themselves, and the joy those moments provide keeps Kakashi more or less sane on lazy days like this.

Sometimes he thinks he should have opened that dog-grooming parlor Gai suggested, rather than a bookstore, but then he remembers the Poodle Incident that followed shortly after and is quietly relieved all over again.

Then, without warning, the door slams open with a force that’s usually reserved for hurricanes, setting the cheerful bell above it clanging like it’s rolling down a mountainside. Kakashi startles, almost dropping his coffee, and looks up just as a pair of hands in fingerless gloves slam down on the counter.

That, Kakashi thinks, eyeing the man as he lowers is book, is a very tight tank top and a lot of very, very pretty golden skin. And muscles. Sweaty muscles, and while one would think Kakashi got more than enough of those living with Rin, who actually enjoys training with Gai and has the six-pack to prove it, these ones are particularly ropy and lovely.

The guy’s face isn’t all that bad either, even if his expression is currently just about the same level as deadly Obito’s was after that especially disastrous date with that Madara creep and the introduction to the quasi-cult he hosted in his basement.

“I swear to god,” the man says, and the words might be even, there might be a flower tucked behind his ear, but the spark in his eyes is very close to incandescent rage, “if you don’t have a book on flower language I’m going to murder my customers.”

Ah. Kakashi closes his book carefully, studying the man. That would explain the apron wrapped around his hips, embroidered with a smiley sunflower and the logo of the flower shop down the block. Kakashi hasn’t ever had reason to go in before, but now that he knows eye candy like this works there, he might just have to change that.

“That depends,” he says, offering the man a lazy smile. “Did you want Victorian flower language, hanakotoba, Hindu flower language…” It takes effort not to laugh at the expression of mingled horror and disgust that crosses the man’s face.

“God damn it,” the florist sighs, dragging his bandana off. Chestnut hair falls into his face, and he smooths it back with a grimace. The muscles in his arm and shoulder flex in ways that kind of make Kakashi want to bite them.

Kakashi isn’t staring. He’s just…observing. That’s it. Definitely not ogling. Or drooling.

“You’ll probably get the most mileage out of Victorian,” he offers, as soon as he can scrape up enough brain cells to do so. “They tend to be the most common, too.” He pushes up, stepping around the desk, and it’s a narrow space filled with displays, so he has no choice but to brush past the florist on his way by.

On an entirely unrelated note, the man has a truly fantastic ass.

“You’re a lifesaver,” the florist sighs, tucking his bandana into his back pocket and following Kakashi up the staircase to the second floor. “I’ve been open a month and I already have people asking for bouquets that are subtly vengeful or possibly interested if you try harder or—fuck, I don’t know. Why not just get a damn card? If I have to Google this shit one more time I’m going to scream.”

Kakashi chuckles, finding the correct book and pulling it down from the shelf. And if he stretches a little more than he might otherwise, making a very subtle show of it, well. No one who would mock him for it is currently here (a true miracle, and Kakashi thanks all his lucky stars for it) so he’s really got nothing to lose.

“Of all the pitfalls of the flower business I had considered, that wasn’t one of them,” he says, turning to offer the hardcover to the man. “This is the only copy I have, and it’s leather-bound and illustrated, so it will cost more. If you want to wait a week, I could order another version.”

The man smiles, and wow. Kakashi can practically feel his brain shorting out. The scowl was hot; the smile, a little crooked and very warm, lighting up his hazel eyes, is nothing short of gorgeous. “This is great, actually,” he says, taking it carefully to avoid touching it with his dirt-streaked gloves, and that is yet another mark in his favor. Kakashi appreciates a man who takes care of books. “I can display it in the store and write it off as for the business. Thank you.”

“Not a problem.” Kakashi wonders if he should push his luck, but for all his muscles the florist doesn’t look the type to deck someone for making a pass, so he decides to take a chance. “You know, I’ve got a one-time-only sale going on right now.”

The man glances up, one brow rising, and damn. Kakashi is bought and sold. Take off the price tag, no returns. He makes his smile as charming as possible—Obito calls it skeevy, but Obito also keeps dating assholes and weirdos, so he doesn’t get an opinion—and offers, “Buy me coffee and you can have it.”

Brown eyes flecked with green and gold widen, and then the man laughs, bright and warm, and grins.

He has dimples. No one should be allowed to be simultaneously that cute and sexy.

“I don’t know,” he says thoughtfully, rubbing a light finger over the engraved cover. “This looks more like a buy-me-dinner book, unless you like really spendy coffee.”

“Well.” Kakashi makes a show of considering it. “I suppose I can make allowances, seeing as I’m the owner. And since it’s in the name of keeping you from murdering people.”

“A civil servant, huh? I like a man who knows his civic duty.” The florist reaches into one of the pockets of his apron and pulls out a pale green card, flipping it between his fingers as he glances up at Kakashi through long lashes. A pause, and then he flips to Kakashi, just the barest edge of a smirk pulling at his mouth. Kakashi catches it—without fumbling, which, score—and the man steps away with a lazy wave. “I close at six. Give me a call or swing by whenever.”

Kakashi watches his retreat—and damn, that is one fantastic ass—and only glances down at the card when the bell on the door chimes again. Genma Shiranui, it reads in neat, darker green lettering. There’s a business number and a cell number both printed under it, a small smudge of dirt on one corner, and it takes a concentrated effort for Kakashi not to beam like a fool.

“Genma,” he repeats out loud, and chuckles a little at his own ridiculousness as he heads down the stairs.

There’s the thirty dollars he was charging for the book sitting in front of the till, with the flower that had bene behind Genma’s ear resting on top. Kakashi picks it up, spinning it between his fingers, and…

He’s read that flower book, and he remembers perfectly well what meaning a white violet holds, even if Genma doesn’t have any idea. What a perfect twist of fate, Kakashi thinks, and snags one of Rin’s teacups for a makeshift vase.

White violets mean let’s take a chance on happiness, and Kakashi is more than willing to do just that.

Evillustrator: A Summary
  • Nathanael: *gets yelled at for drawing his oc*
  • Chloe: *calls him out on it*
  • Nathanael: *poor tomato*
  • Hawkmoth: mm yes vry interesting
  • Hawkmoth: go and make him evil
  • Akuma: *flap flap*
  • Nathanael: *akumatised*
  • Nathanael: yes now I can go on a date with Marinette
  • Hawkmoth: wha
  • Nathanael: and attack Chloe
  • Hawkmoth:
  • Nathanael: and take some kids jewellery
  • Nath & Hawky: mwahahahahahaha
  • Ladybug: o shit
  • Chat: what
  • Ladybug: this art tomato wants to date me
  • Chat: what was that
  • Ladybug: nothing just stay here with Chloe
  • Chat: fuck
  • Ladybug: also you need to look after this girl named Marinette so yeah bye *leaves*
  • Evillustrator: *breaks window* why hi
  • Marinette: oh hello
  • Evillustrator: date me pls it's my bday
  • Marinette: yeah okay
  • Nathanael: shit can't draw in the dark
  • Marinette: Hm vry interesting
  • Marinette: pls give me pen
  • Evillustrator: no
  • Chat: hey kiddo
  • Evillustrator: I've been betrayed *leaves for Chloe's*
  • Marinette: o thnx for saving me
  • Chat: yes it was me don't worry
  • Marinette: Kbye
  • Evillustrator: ready or not here I come
  • Chloe: this isn't what I wanted
  • Chat & Ladybug: oooo better move boi
  • Evillustrator: *tries to erase floor*
  • Ladybug: you tried gold star
  • Ladybug: *makes it dark and breaks pen*
  • Nathanael: why am I in this girl's room also why is everything so expensive
  • Ladybug: okay good job bye
  • Chat: bye
  • *leave*
  • Nathanael: wait help me
  • *fin*

So I made an Omegaverse post which started on my NSFW blog then it grew into an actual AU in which the Junkers had kids and had to give them away. They eventually met the kids 26 years later, in which Junkrat is 51 and Roadhog is 74 as depicted above.

Anyway have some old and weathered Junkers.

reading Seventeen's minds
  • Seungcheol: JEONGHAN omg he touched me he's so warm and I love his hair and I just
  • Jeonghan: omfg Coups needa chill I ain't about that life.. imma flip my hair so he'll get more frustrated
  • Joshua: o lord Jesus please let Seventeen do well at our next show.. and maybe give me some more time to speak in English because I kill that shit fam
  • Jun: mUST. AVOID. LOGOS.
  • Hoshi: imma squish squish, make them bitches swoon, then gaze seductively and indirectly impregnate millions
  • Wonwoo: I have no inspiration for these lyrics... well Mingyu is pretty cool, in a heterosexual, platonic way wOW IS IT HOT IN HERE?
  • Woozi: I fucking hate all of these people why am I here
  • DK: *birds chirping and beautiful music playing*
  • Mingyu: wow who is that? he's so handsome.. oh it's a mirror lmao hEY mirror-gyu ur lookin good 2day
  • The8: I don't understand any of what they're saying... just smile and nod, that shit always works
  • Seungkwan: is now an appropriate time to burst out into song? no? okay 1 2 3 gO
  • Vernon: *crickets*... did I load my macs before we left the dorm?
  • Dino: IN A FEW YEARS I WILL BE THE VISUAL FUCK ALL OF Y- oh hyung is coming gtg attack him with hugs