oh my sweet girl ;~;

It’s ya girl Errka (she/her)

9

Happy Birthday You!! // You Watanabe Avatars

  • Please like/reblog if you use them!
End Of The Road (Edward Nygma x Reader) - One Shot Smut

Requested by anon:  you`re trying to run away from Ed because he became too possessive but he hunts you down because you’re his.

Tags: @welcome-to-cobblepothell @aya-fay @socktrollqueen @amandajuly81 @cartoonobsessionsyndrome @cnygma  

Warnings: Smut, Break up, Obsessive and Possessive behavior, Public Sex, Choking. 

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Imagine being Mr. J’s girlfriend and trying to give one of the guard dogs a bath

(Idk I would just think he has a guarddog)

Originally posted by pretty-dead-dog

Y/n looked at the two sweet yet vicious dobermans sniffing her to make sure she wasn’t an imposter or a threat to Mr. J. “Frosty?” Y/n looked over at the statue-like guard next to her. “Yes, Y/N?” “When the last time that Smiley and Chuckles had a bath?” She noticed the look of confusion on Frosts face and made her mind. “That’s it! I’m giving them a bath!” 

Time Skip

Mr. J growled at the disappearance of his dogs and his puppy-loving Y/n. “Where are they?” He was answered by the dogs running out covered in bubbles and soaking wet and a towel-wrapped, squealing Y/N. “Come back! You’re still wet!” Y/n skid to halt in front of Mr. J. He smiled at her wet form and wrapped a arm around her waist and yanked her flush against him. “Oh hi J~” She twirled a wet a strand of hair, giving him puppy dog eyes. “Oh hello my sweet devious girl~ care to join me for a bath?” He cackled while she blushed.

Originally posted by there-and-always-back-again

Los signos como frases de canciones que me gustan.

Aries: “ You talking money, need a hearing aid. You talking ‘bout me, I don’t see a shade. Switch up my style, I take any lane. I switch up my cup, I kill any pain. /  Cuando hablas de dinero, yo necesito un audífono, cuando hablas de mí, no veo la calumnia . Cambio de estilo, tomo cualquier camino. Cambio de copa, mato cualquier dolor.”


Tauro: “ I don’t know where I’m going but I know it’s gonna be a long time.
And I’ll be leaving in the morning come to the white wine bitter sunlight /  no sé a dónde voy, pero sé que será por un largo tiempo, y me marcharé por la mañana, cuando venga el vino blanco, la amarga luz del sol.”


Géminis: “When I’m fat and old and my kids think I’m a joke, 'Cause the stories that I told, I tell again and again, I can count on you after all we got up to
'Cause I know that you truly understand / Cuando esté gorda y vieja y mis hijos piensen que soy una broma porque las historias que cuento, las repito una y otra vez, puedo contar contigo después de todo lo que conseguimos porque sé que realmente entiendes” 


Cáncer: “ Father, Father, Father help us, Send some guidance from above 'Cause people got me, got me questionin’, Where is the love? / Padre, padre, padre ayúdanos, envía ayuda desde arriba, porque la gente me tiene y me tiene cuestionando, ¿Donde está el amor?”


Leo: “ Just shoot for the stars if it feels right, and aim for my heart if you feel like it, take me away and make it okay i swear I’ll behave / Dispara a las estrellas si eso te hace sentir bien, luego apunta a mi corazón si te apetece,
quítate de en medio y hazlo bien, juro que me comportaré.”


Virgo: “As a child you would wait and watch from far away. but you always knew that you’d be the one that work while they all play / De niño, esperabas
y contemplabas desde la lejanía. pero siempre supiste que tú serías el que trabajaría mientras ellos jugaban.”


Libra: “I found a love for me. Darling, just dive right in and follow my lead
Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet. Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me / Encontré un amor para mí,querida, solo lánzate de cabeza y sígueme. Bueno, encontré una chica, hermosa y dulce. Oh, nunca pensé que tú eras ese “alguien” esperándome.”


Escorpio: “Is there a right way for how this goes? You got your friends, and you got your foes They want a piece of something hot Forget your name like they forgot / Existe una forma correcta de cómo va esto? Tienes a tus amigos  y tienes a tus enemigos. Ellos quieren un pedazo de algo caliente,  olvida tu nombre como ellos lo olvidaron.” 


Sagitario: “ I’m laid-back, I’m feelin this, tonight’s the night and I just wanna let it go. Hit the play back, I know your feelin this, c'mon baby, lets get ridiculous! / Estoy relajado, estoy sintiendo esto, esta noche es la noche y yo sólo quiero dejarlo ir, pulsa la reproducción sé que estás sintiendo esto, vamos, vamos a hacer el ridículo!”


Capricornio: “This world can knock me down but watch me fight back I might stumble round and round But I’m never crack it down / Este mundo puede derribarme, Pero mírame luchar,  Puedo tropezar de vez en cuando, Pero yo nunca me detengo”


Acuario: “Have you no idea that you’re in deep, I dreamt about you nearly every night this week. How many secrets can you keep? / No tienes idea de que estás en lo profundo Esta semana soñe contigo casi todas las noches ¿Cuántos secretos puedes guardar?” 


Piscis: “With you wrapped around my arm right here got me feeling like a millionaire cause I know that we gon be ya. Know that we gon be ya. Know that we gon be alright / Con que estés envuelta alrededor de mi brazo justo aquí
Me haces sentir como un millonario, Porque sé que vamos a estar, Sé que vamos a estar,  Sé que vamos a estar bien”

Birthday Blues

Hey babes! This is my contribution to the Harry birthday one shots. It’s going to be a little different to other birthday one shot’s you may have read, with plenty of angst, but of course with a VERY fluffy ending! PSA: this is not a part of my one shot series, and does include some explicit language! xxx

Y/N’s P.O.V.
The fighting started weeks ago. God knows why, it just did. At first, it was just bickering. I understood Harry was tired from work, and I’d been studying for exams a lot so the both of us were constantly exhausted. But to make matters worse, the two of us being so tired meant no sex, which meant no stress relief. So we kept bickering, going to bed without good night kisses and leaving in the morning without so much as a “good bye.” Until the real fights started. One day I got home late because I forgot to tell Harry I was working late, and when I came home at nearly 11 PM, he lost it. Then everything came out, and we haven’t gone more than a few days without a fight since. It exhausted me, but today was his birthday. I was going to make it so special for him, and put the past few weeks behind us. I woke up without Harry next to me, so I grabbed his present (a new journal) and wandered down stairs to find him fully dressed, looking like he was about to leave. “Going somewhere, birthday boy?” He looked up, startled. “Oh, hi. I’ve got meetings all morning then I’m going to lunch with Gem, so I won’t be home until later. Then the boys and I are going out for drinks tonight.” My stomach dropped as the cold tone of his voice washed over me. “Oh, okay. Well, here’s your present. Enjoy lunch with Gem. Happy birthday.” I tried to control the shaking of my voice, and walked back upstairs so he wouldn’t see me cry. An hour later, I woke up again and wandered downstairs to see his present completely untouched.

Harry’s P.O.V.
I wasn’t really going to lunch with Gemma. I was going with Kendall. I felt bad for lying to Y/N, I really did. But Kendall offered for my birthday and I knew Y/N would be mad at me, so I lied. As long as no one told her, I’d be fine. The morning dragged, and guilt started to set in. Y/N was supposed to be the love of my life and I was going behind her back. The meetings finally finished, and I hesitantly went to lunch with Kendall. All went smoothly, with no paparazzi, but I was anxious to get home to Y/N. I needed to put everything behind us. I pulled up to the house, and made my way inside. “You home, baby?” I called out, but the house was quiet. I walked around looking for her until I saw her outside, a cigarette in her hand, and her face all puffy like she’d been crying. I opened the back door and she glared at me. “How’s Kendall, Harry?” My stomach dropped. “W-who told you?” She took a drag of her cigarette. “Niall. Thought I should know you were going behind my back. Why’d you lie, Harry? You know I wouldn’t have minded if you had told me the truth.” Her voice was calmed, which scared me. “I just wasn’t sure how you’d react, given the past few weeks. I know I shouldn’t have lied. I’m so sorry.” “I was ready to forgive you, Harry. Forgive you for treating me like shit lately, but then you go and pull this shit! How fucking dare you!” She was yelling now, her voice dripping with venom. I was mad now, too. “Are you fucking kidding me, Y/N?! You’re the one who’s been moping around for weeks!” “Is Kendall going to be there tonight, Harry?! You gonna spend the night balls deep in her fucking pussy?!” I was raging now, and approached her, yelling in her face. “Maybe I fucking will, considering you haven’t given it up in weeks!” As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew I fucked up. Bad. Y/N was shaking and tears were running down her cheeks. “No, no baby. Don’t cry. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” I reached up to wipe her face, but she hit my hand away. “Get away from me, Harry. Get out. Now.” I nodded, not wanting to cause any further arguments, and left.

Y/N’s P.O.V.
I spent hours just crying and smoking. I only ever smoked cigarette’s when I was under a lot of stress, and now they at least soothed the pain. It was dark, and late so I made my way upstairs to shower and try to get some sleep. After tossing and turning for hours, I finally started dozing until my phone started ringing. Niall’s name came up on the screen and I answered, nerves starting to build in my stomach. “Niall? What’s going on?” “Y/N, you need to get down here and get Harry. He’s not in a good shape.” I sighed, rubbing my eyes. “Niall, I don’t care. I’m not ready to face him.” “He’s sobbing for you, Y/N. He needs you.” I sat up, getting out of bed. “Okay, I’ll be there soon. Make sure he doesn’t drink anymore.” “Thank you, Y/N. We’ll be outside.” With that I hung up, got dressed and made my way to the local pub. I pulled up to see Harry and Niall, standing outside, my 6ft tall boyfriend a sobbing mess. I got out the car, and Harry stumbled over to me, wrapping me in a huge bear hug. “Oh, my baby. I’m so fucking sorry I’m such a piece of shit. I would never cheat on you. I’m sorry baby. I’m sorry.” I rubbed his back. “Baby, we can talk about it in the morning, okay? We need to get you home.” He nodded and sniffled, letting me help him into the car. I waved goodbye and called out “thank you” to Niall, and drove home. Harry was still a mess, but I managed to get him upstairs and into bed, where he fell asleep almost instantly. I curled up beside him, and quickly fell asleep, too.

HARRY’S P.O.V.
I woke up, my head pounding and stomach churning. I got up and ran into the bathroom, vomiting into the toilet. After a while, I groaned and stumbled downstairs to find Y/N pottering in the kitchen. The sight of her wearing only a pair of knickers and one of my t-shirts with her hair in a floppy bun warmed my heart. She turned around, a small smile on her face. “Morning. I made some peppermint tea to help your tummy.” I picked up the tea and sipped on it. “Thanks, love. Now, about last night.” She shook her head at me. “Drink your tea. Then we can talk about it.” I nodded and sat down beside her at the table. “Did you sleep okay last night?” She rubbed my shoulder gently and whispered, her voice cracking. “Only after you got home.” I put my tea down and took Y/N into my arms. “Oh, my sweet girl. I’m so, so sorry.” She sobbed hard into my chest. “You can’t say stuff like that to me, Harry. You almost killed me.” I held her tighter. “Sweetheart, stop cryin’, please. You’re breakin’ my heart.  I know I’m a terrible boyfriend, and you deserve so much better, especially with how I’ve been treatin’ ya lately. But you mean the world to me, and I don’t think I could function without you.” I cupped her face so she’d look at me. “You’re the love of my life baby, and I am going to marry you one day.” Tears were still running down her face, but she smiled at me. “Really? You wanna get married?” I kissed her lips gently. “There’s no one else I want to spend my life with.”

After I showered, Y/N made the two of us breakfast and we spent the whole day watching movies. After we finished watching If I Stay, Y/N stood up and walked to the counter and picked up my present I’d left there yesterday morning and brought over to me. “I know it’s not much but-” I cut her off with a kiss. “Sweetheart, stop. Whatever it is, is perfect.” I unwrapped the paper, carefully, revealing the journal. My breath caught in my throat. Y/N never failed to amaze me. It was a beautiful, leather bound journal with thick paper. “Baby, I love it. I truly love it. Thank you so much.” She leaned in and kissed me sweetly. “You’re welcome.”

Even though my hang over was terrible, Y/N and I had sweet, lazy, intimate sex and were laying in bed. All was quiet until Y/N whispered “Harry?” I kissed the top of her head. “Yes, my sweet girl?” She looked up at me, her big eyes full of love. “Happy birthday, baby.”

Happy 23rd birthday to the love of my life. Happy reading, honeys. Please reblog! xxx

Romeo and Juliet: Remus Lupin X Reader [SMUT]

This is kind of short and really light smut, I hope you enjoy.


The booming storm outside prevented the students of Hogwarts from leaving the old grey castle. Today was one of those perfect day to cuddle up with one’s favorite blanket and read till your heart’s content; resident bookworm Y/N was doing exactly that. She lay sprawled on her massive four post bed soaking up the quiet of the empty room, basking in the warmth of her thickly knit blanket and the happiness the inky words on the old cream pages filled her with.

Deeply engrossed in the old copy of Romeo and Juliet stuck in the girl’s hands, she did not hear the creaking of the large wooden door leading into her chambers. Finally she was ripped from the play by the dipping of the mattress at her side and the warm raspy greeting of her beloved boyfriend, Remus. Burying his face deep into the crook of her neck and deeply inhaling her sweet scent, he pulled the small girl closer, “m’ so tired love” he simply groaned into her neck. Y/N softly giggled at the tickle of his breath against her skin and sarcastically and plainly retorted “then sleep”. Remus playfully growled and lifted the small girl on top of him so she sat on his toned stomach “always such a smart one “ he laughed lightly and looked up at his love, “smarter than you” Y/N countered holding back her contagious giggles. Remus smiled widely “I’m too tired for your little games sweet girl, read to me please” he pouted like a small puppy dog, Y/N’s heart skipped a beat at the sight and rolled off of him with a heavy groan, she settled next to him. Cuddled together the girl began reading the love story to her dearest boy.

“Wilt thou be gone? It is not yet near day.” she read aloud in a gentle voice as to lull her precious to sleep. “It was the nightingale, and not the lark, that pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear.” Remus’ large hand gently stroked Y/N’s leg, she thought nothing of the innocent act. “Nightly she sings on yon pomegranate tree.” His hand slipped higher. “Believe me, love, it was the nightingale” His hand cupped her womanhood causing her to lightly gasp and look at him, his eyes still closed, but a mischievous smirk lay on his lips. “It was the lark, the herald of the morn, no nightingale” he slipped his hands into her cotton underwear, her breath grew uneven. “Look, love, what envious streaks do lace the severing clouds in yonder east”  He pumped two fingers in and out of Y/N wetness and skillfully circled her clit with his thumb. “Night’s candles are burnt out, and jocund day” She moaned rendering her unable to finish the sentence in her usually eloquent way of speaking. “Stands tiptoe on the uh misty mmm m-mountain t-ah! Tops.” she breathed heavily as her Remus’ fingers began to work faster on her slit, “are you almost ready to come love? Come on, oh you look so beautiful right now my sweet girl” he rasped into her ear, warm breath tickling her ear and causing goosebumps to raise on her chest. Stubbornly Y/N continued reading, “I must be g-gone and live ahhh, or stay and die!” loudly moaning the last word, the girl released onto Remus’s fingers. “Such a good girl, always such a sweet girl for me, doing so well” Remus softly praised continuing to pump his fingers and allow his love to ride out her orgasmic bliss.

Y/N’s eyelashes tickled her flushed cheeks as she lay still in her boyfriend’s arms, Remus observed her beauty and felt his heart speed up. “Sleep tight sweet girl” he kissed her forehead and pulled her closer “I love when you read to me”.

I Know Him

A late @mlsecretsanta gift for @marichengs​! I hope you enjoy this fic! It was a lot of fun to write. :) Sorry for the delay in getting this to you!

Thank you @ladyserendipitous for idea bouncing this with me and for the title!


“I’m sorry, Chat Noir, but I like someone else.” Ladybug looked down. “I’m really flattered, but-”

“You don’t have to apologize.” It hurt to hear. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t. It almost killed him to face the reality that he and Ladybug might not end up married someday. Still, he’d deal with those emotions later, because it wasn’t her fault he’d fallen for her, and he refused to take it out on her now. “I just really hope the other person is amazing.”

She brightened. “Oh, he is. I-I mean,” she sighed. “Not that you aren’t. You are, kitty. You’re wonderful and brave and the best partner I could have asked for.”

The flattery helped a little, but it didn’t erase the fact that he wasn’t quite good enough to be the person she fell for. The truth was hard, particularly because some small part of him had always expected to be disappointed, expected to be turned down… “Thanks, m- Ladybug.” He had to stop calling her milady. It wasn’t fair. She wasn’t his at all.

She smiled and gently hugged him. “Listen. I know that you have a wonderful person out there for you, and I hope they make you happier than I ever could.”

He relaxed and returned the embrace with a sigh. “Thank you. I hope he makes you happy, too.” Despite the dull ache in his chest, he truly meant it. He loved her and wanted her to be happy even if it wasn’t with him.

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That’s What I Like- Logan Imagine- SMUT

The sound of keys scraping along the inside of a lock snapped you out of your trance. Slowly, the door to your condo swung open, the clashing of keys on a ceramic dish filling the hallway. You looked once more in the wide mirror, dabbing at the makeup on the corner of your eye.

“Doll? I’m home!” A low, but familiar, voice called out once the door had clicked shut. His voice was like silk running through your fingers. Just the sound of it was making your knees tremble. Logan was finally home after a month away on business. More often than not, he was off looking for new acquisitions or schmoozing billionaire CEOs. You frequently wished he could be home more, that you could make dinners together, that you could have more than two weeks on/one month off. But he worked hard for himself and for you. He always told you that he never wanted you to want anything, that he would be able to give you all that you could ever need, but all that your heart desired was his company and waking up every morning to his perfect smile.

“Hi babe! I’ll just be one second! Will you just sit in that grey chair?” you called back, fiddling with the top of the stocking wrapped around your thigh. In the other room, his brow furrowed as he sat down his bags, taking a seat on the chair in question. He pulled out his phone and began scrolling.

“You’re really gonna make me wait to see you?” he teased, firing off a quick response to an email. You took one last deep breath, shaking out the last of your nerves as you hit play on your phone, letting the sound carry over the home stereo system. Logan looked up from the glowing screen, his eyes darting all over the room. “What’s going on?”

I got a condo in Manhattan

“Hey! We have one of those too!” he joked, looking down the hallway, eager to finally see you. You began walking to him, the dim hallway finally giving way to the light of the living room. The moment his dark eyes took you in, his phone fell through his fingers, hitting the hardwood floor with a thud. You were strutting towards him in the sheerest, shortest black chemise with nothing on underneath, save for the matching stocking and black heels. “Fuck, baby…” he trailed off as you finally stood in front of him.

“I missed you, Logan,” you smiled, picking up his hand and intertwined your fingers with his, “so I just wanted to welcome you home.” You kept your hand in his, letting your hips sway to the beat. A devious smile was plastered on Logan’s face as he watched you drop your hips to the floor near his feet.

Go pop it for a pimp, pop-pop it for me
Turn around and drop it for a pimp, drop-drop it for me

As you stood up, you spun your back to him, slowly lowering yourself on his lap. Your hips began to grind into his in time with the music. All you could hear though was your racing heartbeat and his heavy breathing. Logan reached forward and ran his hands up the top of your thighs, his breath hot on your neck. You smiled as you swung your legs around to straddle him, grinding into him once more. His dark eyes poured into you, something devious dancing just behind his stare. The room had become just the two of you, your bodies finally after a month coming together.

Logan rested his hands on the swell of your ass, greedily grabbing handfuls as you worked yourself over the growing hardness in his dress pants. “I uh…I don’t think you really need this anymore,” he said, pulling up the mesh fabric covering your body. You giggled and helped him hoist the poor excuse for a dress off your body. “Much better,” he grinned, letting his fingers graze down the length of your torso, sending goosebumps shooting over your skin.

You deserve it baby, you deserve it all
And I’m gonna give it to you

“This is quite the way to come home, doll,” Logan mused, his eyes glued to your chest as you continued to dance on him. You wrapped the ends of his dark hair between your fingers, pulling his face up to yours. Logan made the first move and crashed his lips into yours, hungry for the contact he had been missing for the last month. His tongue passed over your bottom lip, begging for permission to enter, which you readily granted. Logan pulled your naked body even closer, the tips of his fingers digging into your soft flesh. “I need your sweet pussy babe,” he whispered in your ear, his teeth tugging gently on your earlobe.

“It’s all yours,” you breathed out before his hand was between your legs, making you gasp. There was already a pooling wetness when he moved his fingers along your folds- this made him smile even wider, his perfect teeth beaming. 

“So ready for me already, huh?” He popped his index finger in his mouth, cleaning off your juices. You missed the way he smirked and the way he was always so cocky about whatever was coming out of his mouth. A lot of people you encountered found it off-putting, but something about it had turned you on since the day you met.

Now tell me who’s the fairest
Is it you? Is it me? Say it’s us and I’ll agree, baby
 

He stood up from under you, walking you back to the arm of couch off to your left. You made quick work of his belt and pants, letting them heap in a pile on top of his already dropped phone. Leaning down, you went to remove your heels and stockings when you felt his hand wrap around your wrist, pulling you up against his now naked body. “Leave them on,” he commanded, placing another kiss on your lips. “Now turn around, doll.”

You spun around so your stomach was pressed against the arm of the couch. Logan gently pushed between your shoulder blades, silently asking you to bend over. You folded in half letting your hands grip the cushion below. He ran his large hands over your sides, lifting them a little as he came to your waist. You felt them again as he lowered them hard against your ass, making you jolt forward.

Sex by the fire at night
Silk sheets and diamonds all white

“You think you can just tease me with no consequences?” Another smack was ringing on your skin, the flesh becoming tender. There was a clear smile in his voice as he looked at the red handprints he was leaving behind. He brought down one more hard slap, a small yelp falling from your lips as he made contact. That was enough to send him into overdrive. He lined himself up at your entrance, slowly sliding himself inside you. A long hiss came from him until he was completely covered by you, taking a moment to rejoice in the feeling he had missed for so long. You gasped as he filled you, his cock already hitting your sweet spot from this angle.

Logan pulled your hair together, yanking gently to arch your back. He continued to thrust in and out of you, both of you panting with each stroke. “Goddamn, you feel so fucking good baby,” he praised as his pace quickened. You tried your hardest to reply to him, but everything kept getting caught in your throat. Every time he entered you, it took the breath right out of your lungs. He was buried so deep inside you, you could think of nothing besides how much you missed the way that he felt.

If you want it, girl, come and get it
All this is here for you

His pace picked up once again, a sure sign that his climax was fast on its way. A few more thrusts and he was coming undone from behind you. He lazily moved in and out, letting the last of his seed spill into you as he steadied himself, gripping your waist. You stood up, your legs wobbling a little as you tried to turn to face him. But Logan was quick to scoop you into his arms, saving you from an imminent fall. He smiled down at you, placing a long kiss on your forehead.

 “Oh, I missed you, my sweet girl,” he grinned.

“I missed you more,” you teased. He rolled his eyes and walked you back to the bedroom. 

“Don’t start that shit with me. We both know that’s not true.”

“Prove it,” you challenged, still wrapped in his arms.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish, doll,” he warned, kicking your bedroom door shut behind you.

Lucky for you, that’s what I like, that’s what I like

Cheryl x Reader: The Fire Within

Warnings: mental illness, talks of rape and suicide, swearing
Requested: yes
A/N: if this is super deep, i’m sorry. I used it to help me vent.

*your POV*

You know what? Fuck you.

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45:Goals

Harry:

@harrystyles: My love

Liam:

@liampayne: Oh girl…

Louis:

@louist91: Sweet dreams, my princess. 

Niall:

@niallhoran: How I love her

Zayn:

 @zayn:This girl

Thank God For You

This is canon season 12 so obviously there’s Penny. Also, I’ve not reread so sorry for any mistakes!

—-

Can you imagine how wonderful it is to be in love? To be so deeply sure of your feelings for another person that you’re certain you want to spend the rest of your life with them?

Now can you imagine how devastatingly lonely it is to know that that person, the absolute love of your life, doesn’t feel the same? To live everyday knowing no matter what they say or how they try and pretend, even to themselves, you’re not what or who they ache for. You’ll never look right or sound right or feel right. You’ll never be right.

Because you’re not them.

Penny does. It’s something she lives with every single day and somehow, the more she loves Callie, the less she seems to love her back. The further away she slips and the closer to goodbye they tread.

Penny works ridiculously long hours these days. She often comes home to the girls asleep already, darkness engulfing their tiny apartment. Most times Callie has ‘accidentally’ fallen asleep with her mini-me, arms embracing each other tightly, Sofia contently curled into her mama as Callie’s arm reaches over her as though reaching for another body that will never be there.

Tonight though, with Sofia happily in Seattle with her mommy and Callie on early finishes, Penny had been delighted to be granted an evening off. She stopped off for her girlfriend’s favourite take out and wine, hoping they could have a cosy, romantic evening in.

Recently Callie had taken to teaching Sofia the piano. Penny had been frustrated at first, saying the huge thing took up so much space in their small home but the other woman was adamant and Sofia had taken to it like a pro. So she was used to the melodic sounds of Callie’s talented hands dancing accords the keys, even become to begrudgingly enjoy it despite not particularly being a music fan.

What she wasn’t used to, had never heard before, was the hauntingly beautiful sound of the older woman’s voice as she lost herself in words of a song she seemed so immersed in.

These wounds won’t seem to heal, this pain is just too real, there’s just too much that time cannot erase.

Penny can’t see her but the words float through the crack in the door and surround her and somehow she knows she’ll never forget the sadness she can feel seeping from the other woman.

When you cried, I’d wipe away all of your tears. When you’d scream, I’d fight away all of your fears and I held your hand through all of these years but you still have all of me.

Penny reaches an arm out to steady herself against the couch and thinks silently to herself what a thing it must be to be loved so completely and irrevocably by this woman and wishes regretfully that she’d only get the chance to know.

~~
“Mama, mama, please can I put the special one on? Pleeeease?” Sofia flutters her long lashes, looking every bit as angelic as she always does with her wide brown eyes and dimples out in full force.

Callie can only give a throaty laugh and nod, ruffling her daughters silky hair, “yes mija, go ahead.”

Sinking into the couch, Callie crosses her legs, one hand holding her wine glass and the other resting in her lap as she watches her daughter, finally home from visiting her mommy.

“There. Perfect!” Sofia gives a toothy grin that is so amazingly like her mommy’s it makes Callie’s heart ache. She clambers onto the sofa next to her mama and they both admire their work.

The fairy lights sparkle against the huge green tree, a mixture of decorations collected throughout the years are neatly in place and the whole apartment smells like Christmas.

For a few moments everything feels a little bit okay.

“Hey guys! Wow, you two did a great job in here.” Penny leans over the sofa as soon as walks in, placing a kiss on Callie’s cheek and smiling at the two brunettes.

She wanders over to the tree, admiring the work the two had done and how homely it felt to be celebrating their very first Christmas. Something catches her eye though, something that makes her stomach curl in that way it does whenever a certain blondes name is mentioned.

Her fingers traced over the golden, glass bauble, over the three names written in fancy scrawl like they all belonged together. Like they were a family.

Callie
Arizona
Sofia

She doesn’t even know how it happens, she doesn’t even know it does happen until a distraught cry from a little girl breaks her trance and she realises that somehow the bauble is no longer on the tree and lays in shards, broken on the wooden floor by her feet.

Sofia looks as sad as Callie has ever seen her and it takes away the anger she feels at her girlfriend, the pain at her daughters sorrow surrounding her in a completely different way. The youngest brunette is desperately trying to pick up the broken pieces and Callie has to hurry to stop her from cutting her tiny fingers.

“Sof’, sof’ honey, come here. Come on.”

Sofia hurries over to her mamas arms, trying to get words out as her little chest heaves and as she watches, Penny feels absolutely awful.

“Mama it’s broken, daddy’s love is all broken.”

“Oh baby, it’s okay. It’s still there, daddy’s love is still always, always with you. Just like we always told you.”

Through sniffles she asks, “can I speak to mommy?”

Callie pushes back dark black hair from the young girls face, the backs of her fingers softly caressing damp cheeks as she nods, “of course mi amor. Go get your pjs on and and I’ll meet you in bed with the phone, okay?”

She doesn’t stop to look at her girlfriend, she doesn’t even blink in her direction as she climbs up from the floor, grabbing her phone and following her daughter. The slam of the bedroom door lets Penny know she won’t be seeing either brunette for the rest of the night and a tiny part of her is so drained, she wants to crush the rest of the glass to unrecognisable shards with the sole of her shoe.

Sofia rummages through her drawers, finally finding what she’s looking for. Clad in her pink flannel pyjamas, eyes red and puffy, she clambers into her bed, clinging to her mummy’s sweater that still smells just like home. Sofia cuddles into her mama and grabs the phone, waiting for her mommy’s face to finally appear.

When it does, both mother and daughter breathe a sigh of relief.

Arizona is beaming, eyes taking in the once familiar sight of the two brunettes curled up together and full of love. The smile drops quickly once she takes in her daughters tearful eyes and puffy cheeks and immediately she switches to protective mode.

“Hey my sweet girl, what’s got you in such a tiz, huh?”

“Mommy… mommy,”

Arizona nods quickly, sitting closer to the screen as though that somehow brings her closer to her precious little girl, “I’m here, Sof, right here. You can see me good, huh? You can see I’m right here. All yours. Can you tell me what’s making you so sad? Can you do that for me?”

Blue eyes flicker to her ex wife’s for a minute, watching the guilt brimming in her eyes. She’s not entirely sure if it’s for whatever’s causing their daughters sadness or for keeping them so far apart in moments like this.

“Daddy’s love broke, mommy. The glass Christmas ball that we hang up every year with all our names on it.”

Arizona nods, feeling dread in the pit of her stomach at what she assumes is about to come, “I know the one, sweetheart. I remember daddy buying it your very first Christmas for his best girl.”

“It got broken, mommy. Mama and me put up the big tree and all the decorations and when Penny came home she dropped daddy’s love to the floor and it broke.”

Arizona notices that Callie won’t look at her and she has to bite back her anger at how this could have happened.

“Oh Sofia, love, I’m so sorry that your daddy’s present got broken. I’m sorry that you’re hurting.”

Sofia wipes her eyes on Arizonas sweater, holding it close to her face, “you said it was his love, mommy. A big ball of all his love. Where does the love go now?”

The desperation in her daughters eyes and in her voice settles in Arizona’s heart, taking hold and making itself at home.

“Oh, my sweet, sweet girl. it’s okay. That love is all around you, always. It’s everywhere you are, my beautiful girl. Because I’ve never seen anyone love anything the way your daddy loves you. He waited his whole life for you, Sof. You were all the good things in all the world wrapped up in his little Sofia and he wanted to be with you every minute of every day. And that’s how I know he’s always close. He’s watching you all the time, honey. Every time you play soccer, when you open all your Christmas presents, when you get a gold star at school, daddy is cheering you on because he loves you so, so much baby. You were his dream. Okay? You were his dream just like you were mama’s dream.”

The tired girl seems to take in those words, accepting her mommy’s promises as absolute truth.

“And yours?”

“Sofia, you and mama and even your daddy were better than any dream I’ve ever had. You’re my whole world and I love you.”

“I love you too mommy,”

“Whenever there’s a time we can’t be together-” Arizona smiles and Sofia gives her a genuine, loving one in return, “just keep me in your heart, I’ll stay there forever,” she finishes with a yawn.

A few more minutes of quiet whispers and Sofia is fast asleep. Her small hand still grips Arizonas old sweater and she cuddles closely in to her mama.

Quiet lingers between the two women and botch know they should hang up but neither can bring themselves to.

“Are you okay?” Arizonas tone is soft, gentle and warming and it brings Callie some peace.

“I miss- I miss everything.”

“I do too.”

And that’s all that really needs to be said.

~~

It’s quiet the next afternoon. Penny had left early for work and Callie had been preparing lunch for the two of them. Her usually loud, energised little girl was subdued and quiet most of the morning and all Callie wanted to do was cheer her up.

Heading into the youngsters bedroom, she quickly comes to a halt at what she finds. Sofia sits on her bed, mesmerised at what she is watching. On the screen is an old homemade movie from years back when Mark was video camera obsessed and Callie’s heart twists painfully at the sight as she leans against the door, hand flat across her chest. She quickly moves and switches it off, holding her hand out for Sofia,

“Come and eat some lunch with your mama.”

The two eat together at the breakfast table, a whole buffet of their favourite foods and Callie’s relieved to see a smile back in place on her daughters lips.

“Mama, did you love mommy?

Callie drops her fork and it clatters loudly against her plate. With wide eyes, she quickly picks it back up, clearing her throat with a cough.

“I…I did, baby girl. I loved your mommy so very much.”

“Why did you fall out of love with her? Will you fall out of love with me too?”

“That can never, ever happen Sof. Never. When you really love someone it can never, ever stop. It never goes away. No matter what.”

Sofia nods, smiling almost triumphantly, “that’s what mommy said too.”

~~
Callie hasn’t answered any texts but she knows her girlfriend won’t be home for hours and she finds herself drawn all day to the same hidden away box her daughter had been.

She picks at disk at random, sitting crossed legged on the floor in front of their big tv as she puts it into the DVD player.

Laughter fills the whole room, Marks face suddenly huge across the screen.

“Torres!” He’s looking at the camera he’d had for a while now, his face right against the lens, making Callie laugh tearfully.

“How do I flip this thing around again?”

Callie suddenly comes into view, rolling her eyes at her best friend, “your daddy’s a goof, Sof,” she says to the camera, “good job you got two brilliant mama bears to keep you on track, little legs.”

Mark gives a hurt “hey!” and Callie laughs loudly, sticking her tongue out at him.

Suddenly the camera goes black and when it’s switched back on, Callie is clearly behind it. She remembers this day so incredibly well.

Sofia, we’re gonna be really quiet and catch your mommy in the act, okay?“ She whispers to the device as though it’s her daughter, “she swears she doesn’t keep creeping in here for extra cuddles but she’s lying because she’s a huge baby hog. Right mommy?”

Arizona comes into view, cradling a tiny, sleeping Sofia to her chest, breathing gently against her neck. The blonde looks up and smiles, hair in a messy pony tail and wearing some old shorts and a vest top. She looks radiant.

“It’s not my fault she’s so yummy,” she whispers and the camera zooms in on the floor for a moment as Callie obviously leans in for a kiss.

Placing their sleeping baby back in her Moses basket, Arizona laughs as Callie pulls her through to the front room, still filming despite her protests. She places the camera on a shelf and now all that can be seen is their waists, bodies close together, arms wrapped around each other as they laugh joyfully and slow dance to the background noise of the radio.

Callie’s hand comes to her chest to reach for a necklace that is no longer there, her big brown eyes overflowing with tears as she focuses so intently on the memories. She remembers exactly how Arizonas forehead had rested against her own, how they had stolen kisses and shared tender words before falling into bed, the camera left playing in another room as other needs took over.

She’s so focused on what she’s watching that Callie doesn’t hear Penny come home and she doesn’t hear her quickly leave again either.

~~
Callie is relieved to finish her shift, happy to finally relax with a new journal and a large glass of wine. Legs curled up under herself, she barely looks up when Penny sits beside her, close but really not close at all.

“Callie?”

“Mhmm?”

Penny is sitting forward on the edge of the couch and it makes the other woman finally place down her book and face her.

“Do you think… do you think if we’d met at another time, in some other place or without so much history, we would have made it?”

Callie’s eyes sheen with tears immediately, her voice broken and husky with angst and guilt and Penny thinks almost relief, “what?”

“It’s okay, Callie. Really, I’ve made peace with it. Sort of. It’s okay. But you have to too. You have to accept that she’s your one or she’s going to slip past you and you’ll live the rest of your life like… well, like this. And you don’t deserve half a life, Calliope Torres. You truly don’t.”

“Penny-” Callie doesn’t say anything else because she really doesn’t know how to. She can’t claim that what’s being said isn’t completely true, she can’t live a lie any longer. So she lets herself cry, grabbing her now ex girlfriends hand, “I’m so sorry, Penny. I’m so sorry.”

And she is.

~~
It takes three days for Callie to gather the courage to call Arizona. And even then she almost backs out. Before she can hang up though, her call is connected and the always familiar drawl of her name floods her senses.

“Morning Calliope. You do realise it’s 5am here, right?”

“I’m sorry if I woke you, Arizona. I just need to ask a favour.”

“It couldn’t wait til a more normal time?” Arizona yawns and Callie has to clench her eyes closed as she imagines the other woman stretching in bed, tank top rising up to give her a miraculous view of her toned stomach.

“It waited too long already.”

“Okay? Whatever you need, Callie.”

Taking the plunge, Callie breathes deeply and jumps, “you.”

“Yeah I got that part but I’m gonna need some more words, hon.”

“Arizona, I need you. I need you to not be across the country when our daughter is sad. I need to fight over new furniture and whose turn it is to take out the trash. I need to go to sleep with you and wake up with you and be with you. I need to massage your leg when it’s hurting and let you rub my feet when I’m exhausted. I need it all and I think you do too and also I need you to pick us up from the airport later on because we’re kinda homeless and I love Meredith but if I have to live with her again, I’ll kill her.”

She’s met with silence and only shocked, heavy breathing and Callie thinks the wait it going to drive her insane.

“Calliope Torres. You’re the- the- the biggest pain in my ass I have ever met. And thank god for you.” She’s tearful and her voice breaks and Callie’s heart feels entirely full as she listens to the blondes whispers,

“Thank god for you.”