oh my so smooth

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How Dan and Phil probably broke up #33
  • Phil: ChiCKEn
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TENDOU WEEK Day five // Rivalry // OTP

“The only time I’ll ever despair is when I won’t be able to play volleyball anymore.” - Kageyama Tobio

Black Coffee And Bad Pickup Lines

Moaui//Hooked Wayfinder Coffee Shop Modern AU

“Black coffee, two sugars for Curly-,” The redhead cut herself off swiftly and turned her sharp gaze onto the man behind the till, hissing venomously under her breath, “Maui, I am NOT reading this out, you creep,”

Whilst on a much-needed break from her bad day at work, Moana seeks out some much-needed caffeine. However, she might’ve found more than she first set out to in the confident, flirtatious barista…

Chapter 1: Are You A Piece Of Art?

Moana Waialiki was not having a good day. Her boss was being even more of a dick than normal, her customers were exceptionally meaner today, and a throbbing pain had started to form between her eyebrows. Currently, she was attempting to explain the 40-day, no-stain return policy to a very loud, very angry woman who claimed that she had NEVER EVEN WORN THE GODDAMN SHIRT. The ‘goddamn shirt’ in question had (what she sincerely hoped was) a huge coffee stain down the front, spanning from the collar to just below the bust, and had very obviously been worn more than once.

“I’m sorry, m’am, there’s not really much I can do about-,”

I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!

“Of course,” Moana sighed half-heartedly as her boss fluttered around the customer delicately, leading her off to the side and away from the scene she had created, but not before shooting Moana a sharp glare. Who knew working in retail would be so hard? Moana groaned, her head falling gracelessly into her arms on the counter in front of her. A hand touched her shoulder carefully, and she looked up to meet a tan brunette with kind green eyes.

“You look like you need an early lunch break, Mo,” Fi smiled down at her gently. Moana opened her mouth to protest, but the tall woman beat her to it, “Go,” she laughed, “I’ll cover you. You could do with some caffeine,”
Moana smiled gratefully as she stood, significantly smaller than the willowy woman by at least a foot, “Thanks, Fi. You’re the best,”

She slipped out of the store quickly, grabbing her bag and coat before walking out onto the busy high street in front of her.

How Moana found herself in the cafe on the corner was beyond her. She supposed Fi’s remark on caffeine had unknowingly drawn her to the small coffee shop. Well, small was sort of an understatement. Lalotai was one of those buildings that looked small on the outside, but opened up into a much larger room. The lights were low, casting a slight shadow over the room and illuminating the deep purple walls ominously. There was music playing; she could pick out the undertones of a glam rock-y bass line, but the crowd was too loud for her to tell what it actually was. Speaking of Lalotai’s customers, every table in the joint was taken and the line stretching from the till to the doors was longer than she had expected for an independent business. Moana busied herself with her phone as she waited.

The mass was almost suffocating, if not slightly rowdy, but she quickly lost herself in the world of the internet. So lost that she barely even noticed when she got to the front of the line.

“What can I getcha, kid?” a smooth voice brought her back to the land of the living.

Moana let out a slightly aggressive “Excuse me?!” (She was just short, okay?!), but the words died slightly in the back of her throat as she snapped her eyes away from her phone. Stood, looking slightly out of place but completely at ease, behind the counter was a tall, chiselled God of a man. He had sun kissed skin and dark eyes, one thick eyebrow raised in obvious amusement. A smirk spread across his face slowly, and no, she was not intimidated. His huge hands rested on the counter separating them, black mandatory shirt sleeves rolled up to expose a sea of tattoos scaling his bare arms.

“What can I get you, you know, to drink? That is what you came here for, right?” He chuckled, and she felt heat rise to her face as her scowl deepened.

“I didn’t- that’s not what I- why would I-,” Moana cut herself off and ground out a, “Black coffee, two sugars,”

“You got it, kiddo- can I get your name?” The barista winked, smirk growing in size. She spluttered slightly, halfway through sliding her money onto the counter, mouth hanging open ready to protest- “Calm it, Curly, it’s for the cup,” He laughed again, and Moana blinked, fully aware that her face probably resembled that of a tomato. She subconsciously pushed her hair out of her face.

“Oh, uh, Moana,”

“Moa-what?”

Moana,”

“Monana?”

“Mo-a-na!”

“Moa- for gods- forget it,” The man scribbled something onto the side of her cup and passed it to the tall woman behind him, who got to work making her drink. She huffed indignantly and stepped to the side so that he could serve the next in line, painfully conscious to his eyes trained on her as she stood fidgeting.

It felt like an eternity had passed of awkward standing around before the tall woman finally turned around, with Moana’s drink in tow. Moana was slightly taken aback; despite her short red pixie cut, pasty skin (a sharp contrast to the dark, shadowy light) and fiery amber eyes, she bore a strong resemblance to Fi. She shook off the thought, however, when Fi’s doppelganger’s permanent scowl grew as she rolled her yellow eyes and dryly called out,

“Black coffee, two sugars for Curly-,” The redhead cut herself off swiftly and turned her sharp gaze onto the man behind the till, hissing venomously under her breath, “Maui, I am NOT reading this out, you creep,”

The barista- Maui (and he thought SHE had a weird name)- smirked, replying without looking up from the register “I’m not creepy, Kate, I’m suave,”

Kate practically growled in response, pushing the cup onto the counter. Moana snatched it up quickly, her eyes growing wide and her cheeks glowing red as she read the message he had scrawled onto her cup;

Curly – Are you a piece of art because I’d like to nail you up against a wall

Moana stood completely still for a whole of five seconds before whirling round, hitting herself in the face with her hair and storming through the crowd as fast as she possibly could, all the while feeling Maui’s burning gaze scorching a hole into the back of her head.

He watched her with a grin as she slammed the door and practically ran down the high street. Kate shot him a pointed look as they swapped positions, her at the register and him working the machines, and he let out a loud laugh.

“One day, you’re gonna get yourself fired,” She shook her head at him. How was he supposed to help himself, though? The girl was stunning, all big brown eyes and thick black lashes, with full lips that made him want to pull her over the counter and kiss her senseless, not to mention that she was a little spitfire with the voice of a freaking goddess- he couldn’t just let this complete stranger walk away and forget him!

“She’ll be back,” Maui hummed under his breath. Kate rolled her eyes again in reply.

A/N:  So this silly little fic is the product of the writer’s block I’ve been having on my bigger Moana fic which I hope to be posting soon. I’d like to continue this fic if I get enough positive reactions and reviews, though, since it was fun to write and so far I haven’t come across any Modern Moaui fics!! Leave a like if you enjoyed it and thanks for reading!!

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@christopherpowelllover asked for a new art piece with Chris and @gayforgayle suggested I draw my Mc and him a few weeks or months ago so that’s what I did and I’m so happy of the result!! If you hear screaming it’s me all the way from here also my back cause it’s dead since the third time I listened to can I have this dance

I love my cute dorks !! Chris is one of my favorite character to draw Mc not so much cause I always struggle to get her face right, it’s like Zig I never know how it’s gonna look HOWEVER PAINTING CHRIS’ HAIR IS TORTURE! I lost one brush that made it easier so I had to go the good ol’ way 😂 But hey it was worth it, I love my baby powell! 

Remember when they won and I said I was gonna draw them matching @kittenmusicals there! Omg 3 birds with one stone! Is that how you say it?? I’m LAME!

Anyway that’s enough rambling ! I hope the Chris’ stans get to enjoy the piece as much as I do! and boy I do ! 

The Animation quality has been butchered by tumblr once again sorry ! 

  • Blake: My girlfriend is such an idiot.
  • Yang: W-WHAT!? You have a girlfriend!?
  • Blake: Yeah, and she's about as intelligent as a brick.
  • Yang: Well maybe you should date someone smarter! And better for you! And they have pretty eyes!
  • Jaune: Welp, someone has to step up to the plate, I guess it's gotta be-
  • Pyrrha: (Literally on fire)
  • Jaune: -somebody else.
  • Yang: This girl of yours sounds awful!
  • Blake: Yang you shouldn't be so hard on yourself.
  • All: ...
  • Ghira: She's so fucking smooth oh my god.

Imagine Halloween is Derek’s absolute favorite holiday ever. Because it was always a fun time with his family, they’d have parties, bob for apples, trick or treat, pretty much every Halloween activity. Their family was so big, they’d have costume contests, and no one was allowed to “dress up” as a werewolf. It’s why, even after the fire, he always has candy to give trick or treaters.

After Stiles and Derek have been dating a while, he mentions this to Stiles, and Stiles vows to have the biggest and best Halloween party ever to make Derek happy. There’s even a costume contest, and Stiles shows up wearing a tuxedo and a boutonnière.

“What are you supposed to be?” Derek asks, confused.

“Hopefully,” Stiles says, pulling a box from his pocket and going down on one knee, “your future husband?”

And Derek says yes, of course, his smile is so wide his cheeks hurt and there may or may not have been a tear or two, and Stiles wins the costume contest even though Scott has a really elaborate Batman costume and does the voice the entire night.

From then on, big Halloween parties become a tradition for Derek again, and when the pack couples, including Stiles and Derek, start expanding their families, and there are lots of little kids running around again, Derek thinks he’s never been happier.

(Submitted by  raimykeller)

(Oh my gosh, that’s brilliant! Stiles is so smooth! This is perfect, thank you!)

Pidge: *shaves her legs for the first time since the garrison*

Pidge: So smoooooth. Lance feel my legs.

Lance: What?

Pidge: *sticks leg in Lance’s face* Feel them. They’re smooth.

Lance: *touches her legs*

Lance: … Oh my god they’re so smooth.

Pidge: I know!!

Lance: Hunk!! Come here!!

Hunk: What?

Pidge: Feel my legs.

Hunk: *blinks*

Lance: They’re so smooth dude you’ve gotta feel.

Hunk: *feels Pidge’s leg*

Hunk: Oh my God you’re right.

Shiro: *walks in* What’s going on here??

Pidge: Shiro come feel my legs!!

Shiro: Uh what?

Pidge: They’re super smooth.

Shiro: Maybe later.

Keith: What’s smooth?

Pidge: My legs come feel.

Keith: *shrugs and touches leg*

Keith: Did you put lotion on them?

Pidge: I shaved them.

Keith: Nice.

Shiro: *blinks and walks away*

anonymous asked:

Can you please write how story will turns out (after the party) if MC actually is a favourite daughter of the head of the most powerful criminal organization and even Saeran didn't know it, bc it was hidden very well? And her dad actually lost her for that 11 days. For RFA + Saeran +V. Hope, you'll like this idea. Love your writing!

I love requests like this, I’ve read them on other imagines blogs and it was so hard not to go the same way they did, so I tried to keep it soft. Like, her dad is very angry, but he can be very sarcastic and more passive aggressive than really violent and intimidating, and MC is the only one who’s not scared of him. And I think I just made this clear on Saeran one, but MC doesn’t have a mom here, which probably made her father even more concerned, since she’s the only one he has.

Hope you like it! ^^

TRIGGER WARNING: Mention of a panic attack on Saeran one


RFA + V and Saeran meeting MC’s criminal father


Zen                

  • You tell him your gangsta boss dad wants to meet him
  • He thinks is a joke at first, but when you two come to your father’s house and he sees the guns… boy
  • He was nervous just because he had to meet your father, now he’s pretty much scared.
  • “Sweetie, is this your new bodyguard? If you wanted a pretty one, you should have asked me instead of looking for one on some stranger’s apartment. You roll your eyes.
  • “Oh, I’ve seen the news, isn’t that the guy accused of sexual harassment?” “Which he already proved being innocent, dad. Something that would never happen if you went to trial. “
  • Zen is scared of seeing his delicate and sweet princess so feisty, but thinks your interaction with your father is kinda funny.
  • Not so funny when your father brings up everything he found about him. School dropout, former member of a biker’s gang and those promo pictures for “Promiscuous Jalapeno”…  your father doesn’t even know what to think.
  • But the worst is the fact that you disappeared from his sight for 11 days and came back with this guy… “Oh, she wasn’t with me for 11 days, sir. She’s been at my house for 2 nights, well, one and a half, technically…” ZEN, SHUT UP!
  • By that point you’re pretty much done with your dad’s passive aggressive threats and Zen’s brutal honesty, so you snap: “Daddy, listen to me. I was staying at this apartment for a couple of days, then he broke his leg and I went to his house to help him, but he kicked me out during night, which I must say… not cool, Zen! I got back to the apartment, which had a bomb on it, and then there was this weird punk guy talking about taking me to paradise or whatever, and Zen saved me, dad! I love him and I never felt safer like I feel around him!”
  • “You… saved her?” “Of course! She was left on her own at this apartment with a bomb! Can you believe it, sir?” and then the two of them started talking about your safety and… well, you were relieved they found something in common.
  • In the end, your father is very impressed about his fast healing and the fact that this isn’t his real name. “We work with fake names around here too.”
  • “You look very strong, son. If you ever consider changing careers, I might have something for you…” you refuse before Zen can say anything.

Yoosung

  • He’s so scared when you tell him your father wants to meet him
  •  And you didn’t even mention he is the head of the mafia
  • When you do… poor thing, he keeps saying he’s fine, but you can see him shaking.
  •  And all those guns on the dinner table aren’t helping at all…
  • “Hi, sir… I’m Yoosung Kim, I’m a vet student at Sky University, I’m 21 years old and this isn’t my natural hair color!” What the fuck, Yoosung?
  • “Oh,I see… sweetie, I thought you were bringing your boyfriend to dinner, who’s that girl?” “Very funny, dad.” He’s so terrified at the guns he doesn’t even hear this comment.
  • “So, sweetie… long time no see, what you’ve been up too? I mean, besides going to stranger’s apartments and dating guys who could come across as your younger brother?” Now Yoosung listens, how mean…
  • “Nothing much, dad. I’ve been trying to get away from your overprotective care and dating a guy who hasn’t a criminal record, for a change. What about you?” Yoosung couldn’t believe the way you treat each other, if he ever talked with his mother like that… well, he wouldn’t be here to tell the story.
  • Your dad keeps throwing these shady comments during all dinner, and you know Yoosung didn’t say anything yet because he’s trying to be respectful, not because he is a coward, so you let it out:
  • “Yoosung, don’t worry, I love you and I’m not going anywhere, no matter what my father says. And as for you, dad, I… do you really want to know what happened in those 11 days? I’ll tell you! I was trapped with a bomb on his dead cousin’s apartment, may god rest her soul, and this guy  here did anything he could to find who led me there. See his eye? It’s MY fault! And it’s completely unfair to him to be treated like that when all he’s done to me is caring and loving me. So, please… just stop being this prick to the MAN I chose!”
  • “What happened to your eye, son?” “Oh, I… I was just gaining some time for my friend to run away, a guy… tortured me and…” “And you lived to tell? That guy was an amateur…” “Or maybe I’m stronger than you think, sir.” OH WOW!
  • In the end, your father really appreciates Yoosung’s devotion to you, since loyalty is something very important in his… business.
  • He also likes how despite all that, he seems like a very innocent guy… oh, father! If he only knew the things you are gonna do with your boyfriend after seeing him so confident like that…

Jaehee

  • When you tell her your father wants to meet her, she seems fine?
  • Then you tell her about his… job, and she’s… not even impressed? Okay…
  • It looks more like you’ve never been here before, she… feels so calm…
  • “Hi, sweetie, you brought a friend for dinner?” “Girlfriend, daddy.”
  • “Oh… I see…” his tone is so monotone and cold, neither of you can tell what he’s thinking. Honestly, you can live with your father being a criminal, but he being a homophobic? That’s another story!
  • “I should have seen it coming, all these guys who work for me on this house every day, and you never showed any interest on any of them.” “I like guys too, daddy, But the mafia thing, you know… is not really my type.”
  • “Well, sweetie, you should make up your mind before you hurt this poor woman…” “Bisexuality is a real thing, sir. And I won’t be hurt since I’m bisexual as your daughter.” “Jaehee?” you look at her surprised, she’s not even looking at him and just calmly drinks her water.
  • “Okay, Ms. Kang. But should I be worried about you hurting my daughter, then? You seem a little older than her, maybe a little more experienced, my daughter is a immature naïve girl who disappeared from me for almost two weeks and came back thinking she’s bisexual… you are not using her, are you?” “Daddy, come on…”
  • “You should think higher of your own daughter, sir. She’s younger, but she’s smart and if you must know, she’s the one who’s been showing a lot more of knowledge in life helping me through my change of careers.” “Oh, really? Tell me more about that.”
  • And then she tells everything about leaving C  & R and opening her own business, and then she tells a little about her life, how was growing up at a house where she wasn’t wanted, graduating early in college and being a black belt in judo. sometimes I forget how baddass she is, Ilove her so much
  • When she finishes, your dad is enchanted, and you fell in love with her all over again.
  •  “I apologize, Ms. Kang. You are a very amazing woman who does justice to another amazing woman. If you ever want some help with your business, I’ll be more than glad to take down the competition…” “I would rather do that providing a good service, sir, but thanks…”
  • “Marry her, or I will…” your father whispers to you.

Jumin

  • You tell him about dinner with your father.  He’s glad, he’s been longing to make your relationship official to both the families.
  • When you tell him about  the mafia, he’s… curious. How come a sweet and innocent girl like you grew up at such a violent environment?
  • He promises he’ll try not to be judgmental, but as soon as he sees the henchmen in position and the guns… he’s legitimately worried about you.
  • “Hello, how is your father?” “He’s fine, thank you for asking. Do you know each other?” “Well, his company has been a pain on my ass for a while now…” “It’s my company too, as it is very likely I’ll be the next CEO.” Jumin, shut up!
  •  “I see… maybe we can do business pretty soon.” “Right now, I would rather focus on getting to know my future father-in-law.” Uhh, Jumin, so smooth…
  • “Oh, so you’re the one who kept her trapped at your house for two days?” “I believe it was three days, sir.” WHAT THE FUCK, JUMIN? YOU’RE GONNA MENTION THE CAGE TOO?
  • “Daddy, I was completely fine with him there. And I must say I felt way safer with him than I ever felt here with all these… guns… and your… employees…” both of the men feel really flustered with your response.
  • “Now, sweetie, don’t be ungrateful. You might see me as overprotective, but I’m always concerned for your safety. And don’t let yourself be fooled. He looks like a gentleman, but if he is anything like his father, you might be in trouble.” Oh boy…
  • “I’m sure you mean well, sir. But I should warn you I’m nothing like my father. And I must say I understand very well why would you be overprotective of such a adorable lady, but you should let her be free to make her own decisions. That’s… something I’m learning by myself as well…” both you and your father feel very thrilled right now.
  • “Well, I suppose she was safe with you after all, much better than being by herself at some stranger’s apartment…”
  • Your father is very impressed about Jumin’s respect for you, he feels as reliable as any of his henchmen, and most importantly, you seem so happy… how can he fight against your happiness?
  • Dinner is over, and you accompany Jumin to his car where Driver Kim is waiting. “Jumin, be honest…” “Yes, MC?” “How many times you held yourself of answering everytime I said ‘daddy’?” “More than you would like to know, MC…”

Saeyoung

  • He’s pretty nervous about meeting your father when you tell him.
  • But when you tell him about his job, he’s surprisingly more relaxed?
  • Oh come on, he’s been dealing with shady people his whole life! Why would he be worried?
  • “Oh sweetie, you brought a clown with you, when is your boyfriend coming?” Saeyoung has a comeback involving “coming”, you almost can read his mind and just glare at him, so he gives up.
  • “So… you must be the boy who got trapped with my daughter at some stranger’s apartment, then took her to this secret cult organization, huh?” “Yeah, and don’t forget the bomb!” Goddamit, Saeyoung!
  • “Well, if it makes you feel any better, daddy, he really tried to push me away, but I was very insistent.” “Push you away how, sweetie?” “The same things you used to tell my mom…” oh, that explains a lot…
  • “I see, so you were a jerk to her…” shit, you though it would be enough… it only made it worse!
  • “Yes, but if it is the same case here, I’m sure you were only thinking about your wife’s safety…” “And yet she ended knocked up, are you trying to imply it’ll be the case here?” SHIT SHIT SHIT!
  • Saeyoung sees his confidence fading away. This man is different, he’s not just some thug, he’s you father, the man who raised you. Why did he think he could be okay with all this? Your father is absolutely right about hating him, he put you in big danger!
  • You see your boyfriend conscience splitting, it’s too much for you to handle, so you vent: “Daddy, don’t be like that! Mom always told me how much you suffered acting like that around her, he suffered the same way, daddy! Even worse, because the person who was after me it’s his own brother who he didn’t see for a long time and… daddy, if you only knew what kind of hell the two of them grew up….” You couldn’t help but cry, Saeyoung hugs you, he doesn’t even care your father is watching this.
  • “Tell me, son. I want to hear your story.” And then Saeyoung tells him everything, always holding your hand.
  • “And your father is the current prime minister? I never liked that guy, anyway. He’s always been a despicable little man!” that coming from the mafia’s head…

Saeran

  • He’s freaking out about meeting your dad, because he doesn’t really feel comfortable around, well… people
  • Then you tell him about your father’s job, and he thinks it’s kinda cute you trying to joke to make him relax
  • You tell him is not a joke, he doesn’t believe it because he did a whole background check on you before deciding you should be the one to stay at Rika’s apartment, and there wasn’t no mention about this.
  • But, come to think of it, this kind of information shouldn’t be easy to find out, right? Oh shit…
  • But your father being a criminal doesn’t really bother him, he would be terrified about him even if your father were a geologist or whatever.
  • The guns and the whole atmosphere on the house is very familiar to him… it reminds him of… oh no! He can’t go there on a moment like this!
  • “So… if this isn’t the one who kidnapped my daughter. Seriously, sweetie? Stockholm Syndrome? I thought I taught you not to fall in love with criminals…”
  • “W-Well, sir, there’s also Lima Syndrome, when the kidnapper is the one in love…” oh no, Saeran… please keep quiet…
  • “How romantic, huh?” your father scoffs, Saeran feels the air escaping from his lungs for a moment, no… no no! Stay calm, Saeran…
  • Dinner is being a disaster, your father keeps glaring and insulting Saeran on his usual passive aggressive manner. You look at Saeran, you’ve seen him like this before, he’s…
  • “He’s having a panic attack!” you jump out of your chair and go to him, your father never seen you move so fast.  He observes you helping this kid telling him to inhale and exhale like he learned in therapy… what’s going on?
  • “Thanks a lot, daddy!” “MC, calm down… I’m okay…” “No, Saeran, he has to listen! Dad, if you can live in peace with your own crimes, good for you, but not everybody is capable of. You see this guy here? He tells me everyday how much he regrets the things he did. I’m able to forgive the men I love, I did it with you, why wouldn’t I do for him?”
  • “You’re… in love with me?” “I already told you that, Saeran…” “Yeah, but if you’re saying in front of you father, you really mean it…” “Well, yeah, I meant before too…”
  • Then your father realize this is just a very lost kid, like he used to be when we was younger. Your mom passed away very young, so he always wondered if she would be able to make him regret it and have a normal life. He’s so glad your mother’s kindness lives through you and if you’re so willing to heal this guy, who is he to get on the way?

V

  • He’s very happy when you tell him your father wants to meet him.
  • And he doesn’t seem to mind your father’s job. “If he was able to raise such a wonderful person like you, he’s not bad at all. Who am I to judge him, anyway?” This guy…
  • And he doesn’t even flinch when your father shower him with threats disguised as questions. “Do you know what people like me do when their loved ones disappear?” “Are you really that insane to show up here like nothing happened?”
  •  “Daddy, please stop…” “I’m just trying to understand what’s gotten into you, sweetie. This older blind guy and… you? I’m sorry to say, but I never knew you had so much daddy issues…” “What are you even saying, dad?”
  •  “With all due respect, sir, daddy issues most of times implies that the daughter seeks for his father features on men she falls in love with. For what I can tell, you and I are nothing alike.” Oh no… V being passive-aggressive gives you the creeps more than all these henchmen…
  • “You’re right, I’ve never put her in dangerous on purpose. You, on the other hand, allowed her to stay at a place where I know it happens to have a bomb, correct?” “Yet, she claims she’s never felt safer, that says a lot about your own household, no?”
  • This polite fight is driving you insane. How can they discus about you like if you were not even there? “SHUT UP YOU BOTH! Dad, you have every right to be mad, but you should know this man here was doing his best to make sure that, whatever was happening, I wouldn’t be hurt, and he didn’t even know me that well… and V, please don’t talk to my father like that, he’s just as scared and worried as you were, and please, don’t ever talk about me or my life as if I couldn’t speak for myself.”
  • “I’m so sorry, love, I had no idea I was acting like that!” he rushes to hug you and keeps apologizing, your father wonders if this man is real…
  • “Sir, I sincerely apologize for my behavior. I know exactly how it feels wanting to protect someone you cherish this much. Just know you raised an amazing woman with the most beautiful soul and I deeply respect you for that.” Your father thought you were the one in danger? Now he feels sorry for this poor man having to handle your temper… and nah, he can’t possibly be real, can he?

fujkin

HOW MANY RIDERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

HUNTER RIDER:
Well, I’m waiting for my trainer to tell me exactly how but he’s changing light bulbs somewhere else right now.

DRESSAGE QUEEN:
Change a light bulb? Are you joking? I couldn’t possibly be expected to subject myself to such a menial task. Change it yourself. Oh, wash your hands when you are finished. The very thought!

CLASSICAL DRESSAGE QUEEN:
These things cannot be rushed, but must be approached slowly, with great patience, and adherence to the principles laid down by the classical masters, otherwise the light bulb will not attain its true potential, but will forever just be a shadow of its true self. Never, ever use any type of gadget when changing the light bulb. That is an offence to the principles of classical light bulb changing.

EVENTER:
Wuss! As soon as my arm is out of this sling, broken after falling off at that large stone wall while riding Hell Bent for Leather cross-country, I’ll change it. Until then, deal with the dark. It’ll put hair on your chest. Only dressage riders require lights, anyway.

SHOW JUMPER:
Why on earth would I need to change a light bulb when the whole world knows that the sun shines out of my x*&%!? Why, when I release over a jump, the spectators are practically blinded.

WESTERN PLEASURE RIDER:
Oh, my God, someone fix that bulb, I have to have light so that my silver and spangles all glow their best and so that all the highlighter on Old Peanut Head makes his nose look so smooth and sparkly, and oh, my diamond studs have to flash in the light, you know, so oh, someone has to fix it—oh, maybe you without all the silver on your saddle, obviously you can’t ride, you can do it.

ENDURANCE RIDER:
Light bulb? Do you mind, I’m trying to get my horses pulse/respiration/hydration levels down to respectable levels. Once that is done, I have another 50 miles to go before I can even think about changing a light bulb. And besides, this neon green spandex is bright enough to see by.

NATURAL HORSEMAN:
You must instill respect in the light bulb, so that it sees you as the Alpha light bulb, using “light bulb dynamics” (video available at $179.99 on my website). Once you have done this, you will find that there is really no need to change the light bulb at all, but that the light bulb will, with very little coaxing from you (using “light bulb coaxer” $99.95 each, plus for extra $49.99 you get an intro video thrown in) behave, as all good light bulbs should.


This is not mine-it has been copy and pasted on Facebook several times. Looking for the original source!

clonewarswriter  asked:

1 4 5 13 for forge please?

1. Their physical weak spots

4. Best places to kiss on their body

Tawn belongs to @the-pyromaniacs-lily!

5. Guilty pleasures

13. What gets them flustered

Tonev is forge’s sister-in-law and she can beat him at pretty much anything he can’t stand it

anonymous asked:

Congrats on 100 followers! Could you do number 1 for Kaldur?

A/n: I am so excited write this one, like, I swear my eyes rolled to the back of my head. This is so damn cute. I hope you like it!

1: “Can I kiss you?”


After a terrifying nightmare, you had to get out of Mount Justice. Just for a little while, not caring that it was almost midnight. The moonlight always calmed you; it made the world around you look beautiful. Nighttime was the time of day that was silent, not a creature stirring. Usually.

  The soft ocean breeze slightly moved your hair as you walked along the moon-lit beach. The white wet sand felt good under your bare feet and took your mind away from the nightmares that plagued you in your sleep. You focused on the soft sounds of the ocean, enjoying nature’s music by yourself.

  That is, until a hand lightly touched your shoulder. You barely jumped when you turned to see who the intruder was, but your face softened when you saw Kadlur’ahm, the leader of your team and the receiver of your secret affections. “Hey, Kaldur. What brings you here so late at night?”

  “I would ask you the same thing,” Kaldur stated with concern. “Are you alright, (Y/n)?”

  You looked down at the sand and shrugged. “It was just a nightmare. Not really a big deal.”

   “It is a big deal if it upsets you.” He looked down at you with caring eyes. “May I walk with you?”

   Your swooning heart skipped a beat and you nodded. “Sure… I’d like that.” You barely prevented yourself from blushing as you walked alongside him.

   If you were like a normal teenage girl, you’d either be flirting with him, screaming with your mouth closed, or staying ten feet away from him. But you were (Y/n), not a normal teenage girl. (Y/n) (L/n) by day, (Y/h/n) by night.

   You felt something like a shock when your hand brushed his, but Kaldur didn’t seem to notice. You didn’t know if you were thankful or not, but it did avoid an awkward conversation.

   “What was your nightmare about?” He asked, but then corrected himself. “Only if you are comfortable with telling me. I will not be offended if you aren’t.”

   “There’s no reason why I wouldn’t be comfortable.” You said with a small smile. You looked back down at the sand, walking a little slower. Kaldur slowed down s well and didn’t mind at all. “It was about the training exercise Martian Manhunter set up for us.” You were a little quieter. “It was just on replay and it got worse every time it started over.”

    You spilled your story to the handsome Atlantian, and he listened attentively. It was a traumatic experience for everyone on the team, but it saddened him to hear that you were still reliving it. Kaldur was the only one who noticed you were ever so slowly closing yourself off, and he concluded that the nightmares were most likely the cause.

    Kaldur gently put a hand on your cheek and the sudden touch made you flinch, but you welcomed it almost immediately after. A small blush rose to your cheeks as you looked into his pale green eyes. “None of it is real, (Y/n). We are all still here, and it will never happen again.” The way he said your name made your heart flutter.

    He was mesmerized by your (e/c) eyes, and you both stood there for a few moments. Simply staring into each other’s eyes, and the corners of his mouth lifted a little.

    “C-Can I kiss you?” You accidentally blurted out. Kaldur’s eyebrows shot upwards in surprise. This time, your face got hot with a deep red blush. You never felt so embarrassed in your life and you went to pull away. “Oh my God, I’m so-”

    In one smooth movement, Kaldur pulled you close and kissed you without saying a word. It was the kind of kiss that got your heart pounding, and your stomach was filled with restless butterflies; it was a moment you’d been anticipating for ages. He put a hand on the back of your neck and the other rested at your hip as he slanted his lips against yours.

    You wrapped your arms around Kaldur’s shoulders and melted against him. You kissed him as if there was no tomorrow, only breaking apart for a few short seconds before diving back in. You couldn’t believe liked you back; hell, he kissed you first. You were drowning in him, and neither you wanted to come up for air.

    The night ended with your hand in his with love-struck smiles on both your faces, and a relationship that would last for a lifetime. As an adult, you look back on the moment quite often, exceedingly glad that you went on midnight walk and asked that fateful question. Those four simple words led to a bright future with the man you fell in love with as a teen.