How can a man be such a cute dork and be incredibly hot at the same time?! I’m standing with a glass of water in my hand at the side of the stage as I watch Tyler and Josh doing sound check. Oh my gosh. Just look at him, his just so PERFECT. He has a colorful hair, tattoos, piercings, a beautiful body and he is the most kind, cute, dorky person I have ever met!
Damnit Y/n stopping thinking about him that way! He is older than you!
I sigh and keep staring at him until he looked my way and I awkwardly try and turn around as I crash with one of the crew members dropping the glass. “Holy shit! I’m so so sorry!” I said crouching down trying to get all the pieces of broken glass. “It’s okay,” he said “You were a bit distracted, weren’t you?” He said looking over to Josh. “What? What do you mean? What are you talking about?” I responded turning red probably like a tomato. The dude just shook his head laughing.
So yeah I probably have a tiny little crush on Josh… well Probably a bit bigger than crush… OKAY I properly like the dude, but he is a/g older than me and I don’t know, people tend to be mean and judgmental over things like these. Tyler and Josh finished sound check and walked over to where I was standing.
“Um y/n?” Tyler said.
“Yeah?” I responded.
“Why is your hand bleeding?” He asked pointing at my hand.
“Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god.” I ran to the bathroom.
While I was washing my hands in the sink, Josh came in the bathroom.
“Hey. How you doing?” He asked looking at me. “Great just great. What about you?” I responded.
“Oh, I’m cool.” He said and I looked up from staring at my hands to stare at his eyes.
He smiled an innocent smile, he sighed.
“Don’t look at me like that.” He said. I tilted my head to the side and asked
“Like that. With those eyes.”
“What eyes Josh? Sorry but I won’t stick a spoon in my eyes and pop them out just for you.”
“I didn’t mean it that way.” He took a step closer to me “Y/n. Look I-”
“You?” I questioned.
“You know what is happening between us.” He said.
“No. I don’t.” I lied. Of course, I know. It is impossible to not notice how he stares at me, or how I stare at him. Oh, yeah, we have also slept in the same bed, same couch and same bunk bed once or twice… or more.
“Don’t lie to me. I know you more than you think.” He said.
“Josh. We can’t.”
“Is it not obvious?” I asked and he shook his head, “Josh you’re a/g older than me. I’m just an immature kid and you’re, not the most mature adult, but you’re an adult thinking about important things. I don’t even know what I’ll do with my life after the tour. I’m just a photographer who doesn’t even know what to eat for dinner. Basically, I’m still looking for myself, I’m still trying to understand myself while you’re already sure about your whole life, why would you want to be with a hormonal kid like me? Oh, and what would your fans think about this?” I spoked.
He just stared at me.
“I- I don’t, I don’t know.” He responded. Josh placed both his hands in my hips. He pulled me closer to him colliding both our lips. I placed my hands in his neck.
This feels so real and perfect and just right.
We separated our lips and he looked at me and said, “I don’t know, and I don’t care. I just want you Y/n. I want your immature comments, your immature actions and I want to be with you and help you find yourself. I just want all of you.”
I took a step back.
“Josh I-” I tried speaking but nothing came out of my mind. I ran out of the bathroom. I got out of the venue and called a taxi. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I asked the taxi to take me to the hotel. I was laying down in the floor of my hotel room with a soda to my right and chips to my left. I stared at the fan in the ceiling. I should be in the concert right now, taking photos, but I couldn’t get up from the floor. XXXXX 3 hours later XXXXXXXX
“Y/n” I heard from outside my door.
“I know you’re in there” The voice said.
It was Josh.
“Doors open.” I yelled.
I heard the door open and close. Footsteps were getting closer to me.
Josh laid down on the floor with me. I turned to my side and looked at him.
“I’m sorry. Is that I’m just scared.” I whispered.
“I know. You shouldn’t.” He turned to my side and grabbed my hand.
“Y/n I like you. I know you’re younger than me. I know people will talk. The thing is that I don’t care as long as we’re happy. Wouldn’t you be happy being with me? Because I would.” He said.
I closed my eyes and nodded.
I heard Josh giggle. He got closer to me and placed a kiss to my nose.
I’m seeing twenty one pilots in exactly eight days. Eight.
And I thought about what that meant today and started crying tears of happiness because I realized what this meant.
I bought my tickets over a year ago for this day. On this day, I realized I will see Tyler and Josh in person. I will see Tyler’s smile in person and I will see Josh’s pink hair and I will hear their voices, in person. It will be unlike any thing in the world that I will ever experience because I will see my the two people who saved my life. And I will hear the lyrics that kept me going. It’s not a small thing. It will be the best day of my life.
Eight days couldn’t pass any slower than these will.
imagine if josh was the singer and tyler was the drummer and they switched lives and josh would be the awkward smol bean and tyler would have amazing arms from drumming so much and josh would be writing all the songs and tyler would have a million different hair colors and josh would be married and tyler would call himself spooky jim and josh would play the ukulele and piano i just can’t bye
“Oh my gosh! I was so worried! You’re the only one that’s not getting checked out by doctors! What the hell happened?” You ran into Sam’s room in the hospital franticly.
“Hi, (Y/N).” Sam said, rolling her eyes with a smile at your concern.
"I’m fine. It’s just…“ Sam paused, knowing that the news about Josh would ruin you. You guys were attached at the hip.
"It’s what? How are the others? Where’s Josh? Is he okay?” You asked, feeling like you were having a panic attack thinking about your best friend in harms way. Sam shut her eyes, thinking it was better to tell you the truth.
"(Y/N). Josh… He didn’t make it…“ She said. You looked at her like she had three heads.
"This is another sick joke, isn’t it! How dare you say something like that!” You said sternly, angry that she would make a joke like that.
"(Y/N), I’m not joking. I’m sorry, but Josh was taken by this thing. He didn’t make it, (Y/N). I swear I’m not lying.“ She said, feeling her heart clench as tears quickly welled in your eyes.
"This is bullshit…” You grumbled angrily, storming out of the room as Sam called out to you from her bed. You saw Mike through the window to the room across the hall and jogged over, knocking franticly on the door. You opened it and Mike looked at you, shocked.
"Woah, (Y/N), when did you get here, girly?“ Mike said, happy to be seeing you after having to go through such a difficult experience.
"I’m glad to see you too, Mike…” You said as you walked over and hugged him gently. During the hug you mumbled into your friend’s shoulder.
"Mike, where is Josh?“ Mike’s eyes widened. He didn’t know how to tell you that Josh was probably dead.
"Sam said that he was taken by some monster. That was a joke, right?” Mike closed his eyes, holding you tighter to prepare you for the truth.
“(Y/N). I’m sorry, but it’s true.” He said gently. You pulled back starting to get angry.
"So, if it is true. You left Josh to some ‘monster’! How could you do that? He was your friend and you left him!“ You raged at him.
”(Y/N), I did all I could.“ Mike said, pitifully.
"That’s bullshit! Just leave me alone! All of you! You ALL killed Josh just like you killed Beth and Hannah!” You yelled at him, It may have been a little harsh, but you didn’t care. They took your best friend from you…forever…
I haven’t had much access to the internet over the last couple of weeks, but I have a moment finally, and I had to make a little post about how I don’t really understand how Tumblr isn’t all over Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. I binged this show over these last few days, and the whole time, I was thinking, this show is every single thing that Tumblr loves.
The main character, Rebecca, is a medium sized, Jewish woman who ditches her horrible job in New York and goes to live in sunny California. While, yes, there is an element of “Oh my gosh, Josh lives in West Covina, I must move there,” like she says in the credits, “It’s much more nuanced than that.” This is a character that has no qualms about calling out racism and sexism, and it’s never painted as her being a crazy feminist, but, rather, acknowledging the fact that some people are racist in ways that they don’t even notice, and should be called out.
And that’s the lead character. Then there’s Paula, the plus-sized, 45 year old best friend. And Josh Chan, the lead male (not a white male). And Darryl, the boss who is also in his forties and only just discovered he is bisexual and is trying to make it work with his young boyfriend. I could go into all the supporting characters and list the reasons why CXG is the show everyone on Tumblr should watch, but I don’t really have time. But suffice to say that of the entire cast, the straight white characters add up to about 3. The show actually uses words like “Gender normative” and “Bechdel test” in the dialogue. It talks about women empowering each other instead of tearing each other down. It asks the question, “Okay, this woman moved to California, and this guy, Josh, played a part. Does that mean her choice makes her weak-willed, because of the guy, or strong-willed, because she acknowledged the fact that she wasn’t happy, and changed her life to make it look the way she wanted it?” This show is so feminist (written and co-created by the woman who plays Rebecca, to boot) and the cast and characters are so diverse.
And, I don’t use iTunes, but as I understand it, the show is free for download on iTunes. So I encourage everyone to give it a try. Because seriously, if the women of Tumblr got together and wrote a show, this is what it would look like.