oh my god what an idiot

2

“So what’d it do!?” Mitchell squealed in annoyance, egging Ruthy-Myra to stop stuttering and lay all the details on the table for everyone to enjoy. “It didn’t eat you, it didn’t even smack your bum! So what’d it do!?”
Ruthy-Myra scrambled for the right words, her good ear burning, “N-nothing! It was– it just– alright. It.. it saw me.”
“Obviously?” Mitchell said.
“It walked towards me.”
“Go on? Uh-huh?” Maydeen added, everyone crowding the heroine.
“Y-yeah– so it– it walked… towards me,” she assured. They impatiently nodded. “Then it stared… and… stared and… sssstared?”
“Oh my gods, it stared,” Gretchen whispered in awe like an idiot.
Ruthy-Myra finished it, “… Then it just… went away. Like– it walked over me. And it didn’t say anything.” She swallowed and mumbled, “It seemed really sad.”
“You are sooo lucky,” Gretchen gasped.

- Salem Academy, Andi Spyral

musicals as vine quotes cause why not

Phantom Of The Opera: “Hey, guys. Hit that like button if you think being haunted is. Kinda hot.”

Wicked: “And they were roommates!” “Oh my god they were roommates.”

Dear Evan Hansen: “He’s dead…” “… Oh ‘not the dickhead’ what do you want me to say?”

The Book Of Mormon: “WELCOME TO BIBLE STUDY WE’RE ALL CHILDREN OF JESUS.” “KUMBAYAAAAAAAAAAAA MA LOOOOOOOO-”

Spring Awakening: “Hey, ma, what’s good? How old are you?” “Fifteen.” [UNINTELLIGABLE YELLING NOISES]

Heathers:  “SAW YOU HANGIN OUT WITH CAITLIN YESTERDAY-” “R-REBECCA, IT’S NOT WHAT YOU TH-” “I WONT HESITATE BITCH.”

Be More Chill: “Hey bro what do you wanna eat?” “ T̠̤̭̘̬̀h͖͉e̴͉̼ ̬̙͡s͍̦̖̘̥̮͙o̳̕ụ̪ḻ̣͞s͓͖̬ ͚̬o͍̮͉f̜̫̼̲̭ ͖̕t̲̱̮̣͎͍͈h̝͇̮̦̥͜e͙̺̝ ͈̼in̶̗̪̪̪̝n̗̮̭̣̺͈o͙̻̟̜͙̞c͎̻e̹̤̭̟n̘͞t” “A bagel.” “ N̟̦̬̭͖͍̗O͓̼͟!̣͢ “

American Idiot: “Don’t let anybody else ruin your life. Because it’s your life. You should ruin it.”

Les Misérables: “Hey ~  How ya doin? Well, I’m doin just fine. I lied. I’m dying inside.”

Rent: The “Completely Giving Up” vine that has all the characters named Me

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde:  “My god, they’ve been in there forever.” “Eh, they probably just-” “WHOA WHAT THE FUCK WE’RE THE SAME PERSON” “HOLY SHIT” “HOW DID THIS HAPPEN” “STOP YELLING AT ME”

Waitress: “Why did you seat that couple before us?” “It’s a table for two.” “Yeah?” “You have ten people.” “Yeah?” [”We Like To Party” by Vengaboys plays]

Chicago: Could ya stop playin that damn music?” “Don’t talk shit on my music!” [GUNSHOT] ♪ say you’ll remember me ♪

Soulmate AU where:

When your soulmate is eating something you can taste it on your lips, just slightly. And maybe feel it on your lips too, like the powder of a cinnamon donut, except you can’t lick it away, so you’re just stuck with it like ‘damn you asshole, lick your goddamn lips! This is annoying!’

If they’re having cravings you do too. Sometimes you’ll get cravings for what you’ve just eaten.

If you taste something like strawberry lip gloss you know their either getting ready for a night out or kissing someone. Or maybe they just like the taste.

You constantly lick your lips when they’re eating something you like because 'oh gods this taste so good, what is it?’ or 'I haven’t had that in ages!’

You get jealous of the fact that they have such nice food ALL THE DAMN TIME.

When they’re eating something you don’t like you try to not lick your lips for so long. It gets annoying and is hard to do for a while so you just put on lip gloss. Then you think 'awe, man. What if they don’t like… And that’s why they put on lip gloss the other week?’

One day you try to send them a recipe. So you just, like, munch on a piece of toast, then lick some honey, then eat some banana so they’ll try your favourite meal and you’ll have that taste on your lips without actually eating it.

One day you think 'what kind of idiot eats peanut butter with jam - holy shit it’s an American! Or someone in America… Maybe they just like it? Oh god will I have to take 20-something hour flight to find them? Uuuhhhggghhh!’

You’re in the middle of a test but just can’t stop licking your lips because 'oh god glazed donuts…’

You can’t place a taste but you know you’ve tasted it before.

After going to Harry Potter world you realise 'it’s butterbeer!’ and then you try a butterbeer cappuccino or whatever and are just - 'goddamn it you jerk you ruined all my experiences!’

You start craving a signature dish from your town that is only served there. You go to the restaurant and see three people eating the meal, so you just walk up to the counter, order something that is nothing like the dish or something that you know that person hates because every time after you eat it you taste mouthwash.

You calmly sit down and just watch the people as you eat your meal. The person you least expected it to be - oh god it can’t be - looks up and is just like 'fuck’ and has that expression on their face.

They look around and see you. Their eyes widen at what you’re eating. You’re the only one eating it. You smirk and wave at them because 'haha sucker you laughed when I was teased about my soulmate and it’s you!’

Or one day you turn to your best friend like 'hey, can you see if anyone is eating -’ your eyes widened as you see they’re eating the EXACT MEAL you can taste.

Or a different ending where you follow a celebrity on Instagram and just see a picture of a steak with the caption being 'why the hell do I taste banana and honey… I’m eating a steak!’

And you just drop your toast. Your family stares at you as you squeal. Then you realise 'shit. That could be anyone.’ But you do taste steak… 'But anyone can be eating steak!’ You rush to the kitchen and pull out dark chocolate and go to the bathroom and start brushing your teeth.

Soon you see another picture of a steak and a caption of 'okay, now I’m tasting ANOTHER thing that clashes with my meal. Soulmate, please let me eat in peace… AND WHO HAS DARK CHOCOLATE AND TOOTHPASTE?!?! Will my future babies eat like this too? God save me…’

Something like that.

27 Dress Code Violations

@jilychallenge 04/2017 | @bantasticbeasts vs @anxiouspotter

Muggle AUs | “i get dress coded so you give me your jacket and we protest unfair regulations for girls together/you sass the teacher about how distracted you are by my shoulders”

Word Count: 2500

special shoutout to @jiilys. solidarity, sister

AO3


i.

She walks into English fifteen minutes late, wearing both a deeply unflattering smock and a scowl. Neither are an especially new look on her.

“Vector,” she says under her breath, as an answer to Mary McDonald’s unspoken question. It’s the answer to every question in the room. Ms Vector is notorious among them all for her very strict adherence to the school’s dress code.

“Yes, Miss Evans’ entrance was very exciting, but I’ll have your attention back to the lesson now, please,” says Ms McGonagall. James snaps back to attention. It’s for the best.

ii.

“Here,” James says, shrugging off his jacket and thrusting it toward Lily. She gives him this look like, fuck off, and James has to bite his tongue to stop from aggravating her. “They’re doing uniform checks up the hall. Just put it on.”

Evans gives him a very strange look, and it takes him a second to realise that it’s neutral.

She looks good in his jacket.

iii. 

Every third dress code violation results in a lunch time detention. It’s only October, and Lily’s already had six. She doesn’t look at James as she takes the seat three ahead and one to the left of him.

iv.

There’s a thump from somewhere in the back of the classroom, and McGonagall isn’t planning on looking up - it sounds like it came from the general vicinity of Potter and Black, and that’s certainly not a situation she wants to engage with - but the entire class is already turned around to see what the fuss is.

She strides down the aisle between the desks, and is about three years past surprised to find James Potter lying on the floor, gazing at the ceiling, glasses knocked aside.

“Am I boring you so much that you decided to take a nap?” she asks, and James gives this wicked smile, and here we go–

“Sorry, Miss, I can’t get up. It’s Evans’ shoulders - they’re overwhelming me. I simply can’t do anything until she covers them up. Sirius, tell me when it’s safe.”

He’s a funny boy, she’ll give him that. “Potter, get up. This is hardly the time for foolishness.”

Keep reading

  • Lucifer: Gonna start an apocalypse, gonna meet my son
  • *Double doors fly open, slamming against the walls*
  • Jack: What's up Daddy-O? Want some candy? How bout some whiskey? I looove humans so much, angels need to learn to be forgiving ya know? Oh, oh, I watched Brokeback Mountain last night and let me tell you-
  • Lucifer: *Sneering at the other angels* What the fuck have you idiots done to my son?
  • Balthazar: Made him awesome
  • Gabriel: Introduced him to television
  • Samandriel: Let him have a heart
  • Gadreel: Taught him to be a badass, but also forgiving
  • Castiel: Taught him drama and love
  • Lucifer: I'll. kill. you all!
  • Jack: Shut up dickbutt! God, you're so whiney. My son loves humans wahhh! Daddy doesn't love me waah. Boring
  • Gabriel: Good boy
Clean Me, Daddy | 30.03.17
  • Phil: "Why aren't you cleaning us?" said Candice. Oh...
  • Dan: Excuse me?
  • Phil: Last time I did a live show, I accidentally ordered 300 cleaning wipes.
  • Dan: I know. I've seen them.
  • Phil: So, you can have the honour of cleaning them.
  • Dan: Excuse me?
  • Phil: The webcam. It's a bit grubby, so you know give them a clean. Give them a wipe. Someone just said "clean me, daddy".
  • Dan holds the cleaning wipe with regret. Phil burst out laughing and Dan starts speaking in a high pitched voice.
  • Dan: Yeah, I read that too. What is this?
  • Phil: It wasn't this weird when I did it!
  • Dan: There's a section of your live show where...
  • Phil: No, it's not a section!
  • Dan: ... you clean them?
  • Phil: No, I'm just saying we're slightly blurry and they'd like to see us in 1080pHD quality.
  • Dan: No, you planned this. It's a section where you clean the audience. Now everyone is saying "clean me".
  • Phil: They liked it. Just do it! I'll make the sound effect.
  • Dan: There's dozen of tens of thousands of people saying "clean me" right now.
  • Phil: Dan, clean them. Clean them!
  • Dan: Jesus Christ.
  • Phil: Do it! It's what you signed up to do.
  • Dan suppressing a regretful chuckle, Phil grinning so damn wide.
  • Dan: Oh my God, stop! The chat! Frick. Even the YouTube comments are going to be ruined. Oh, whatever you fricking..
  • Dan wipes the webcam while Phil makes the sound effect.
  • Phil: That's the noise of the cleaning wipe. Look how clear we are now though. My pores are here.
  • Dan: And yet, I feel dirty.
Hot Like Burning

Sterek, 2.5K words, Teen

AU, Firefighter Derek

In which Derek is the grumpy neighborhood firefighter, and Stiles is a bit of a lovestruck idiot.


Stiles winces as he turns the corner, unbearably nervous like he always is whenever he drives Lydia’s car, and pulls into the fire station. He offered this morning to help her with any errands she needed, and she asked him to take her car to the fire station and have them install the car seat. Stiles had no idea this was even a thing—seriously, how hard is it to put in a car seat?—but unsurprisingly, Lydia is as fastidious about her unborn child’s safety as she is about everything else.

He parks just outside the front door, careful not to block the big bays with the two fire trucks, and wanders inside. “Hello?” he calls out. There’s a noise coming from the other side of the fire truck, so Stiles keeps walking in that direction, then nearly trips over his own two feet.

There’s a guy, crouched down as he washes the wheel well of the fire truck, and Stiles is 101 percent sure that he’s the most attractive person he’s ever seen. He’s frowning, as if he’s pissed at the task in front of him, but it only serves to show off the sharp cut of his jaw under a very nicely-shaped short beard. He’s wearing a tight short-sleeved SFFD t-shirt, which is wet in patches and very clearly showing off the muscled physique underneath.

“Holy shit.”

The guy’s head jerks up at that, his eyes wide, and his gaze locks with Stiles’ for a long second before slowly drifting down the rest of his body. Stiles damn near forgets how to breathe because yep, this impossibly hot dude is most definitely checking him out.

Stiles has never believed in love at first sight, and he still doesn’t, but as of this moment he most certainly does believe in…familiarity at first sight? Cosmic connection? Just plain lust? He has no fucking clue.

But he yelps a little in surprise, then actually manages to trip over nothing, only catching himself by clutching the pillar next to him, which oh fuck, is actually the fire pole. He finally rights himself, grimacing with both arms spread for balance, and then slaps a hand over his eyes with a plaintive groan.

“Oh my god. Hi, hello, my name is Stiles. Uh, any chance we can start over and pretend that this excruciatingly embarrassing encounter didn’t happen?”

Keep reading

epiphany pt.2 | jungkook

Pairing: Jungkook + Reader

Genre: Fluff/Angst + college au

Word Count: 3k

Summary: You hated his guts, especially after he ruined your chance at getting a good grade in one of your toughest classes. But why did your heart beat a little faster every time you saw him? And why did he feel the same way?

—–

Reader’s POV

As your eyes fluttered open, the bright light from your window piercing through making you squint, you felt something heavy strayed against your body. Finally adjusting to the light, a gasp left your mouth when you saw Jungkook in front of you, his chest rising up and down softly, as his arm was draped around your waist, having you flush against him.

Wha- OMG!” You exclaimed loudly, as you threw his arm off of you, scrambling away when your sudden movement caused Jungkook to fall off the bed with a large thud.

“What the hell…” he grumbled, his voice low and raspy as he got up on his feet, rubbing the side of his head as he stared at you through his lidded eyes.

“Y-You! You were–Why were you in my bed?!” You shrieked as you quickly looked down at yourself, the clothes you wore last night still donned on your body, a sigh of relief escaping you.

Jungkook’s eyes widened in alarm when a look of realization dawned upon him, as he stared at you, words spluttering from his mouth in a frenzy.

“Wai–It’s not what it looks like! I swear, I didn’t do anything! Y-you’re the one that grabbed me and asked me not to go and-”

“I did what?!” you exclaimed, your own eyes widening to the size of saucers, when Jungkook added, “Last night, you grabbed my wrist and told me not to go in your sleep and I tried but you just wouldn’t let me go so I thought I’d stay till you let me go but then I fell asleep an-”

Moaning, you fell to your knees in dramatic fashion, your head in your hands as you groaned in embarrassment, “Oh my god, I’m such an idiot. This is so embarrassing, this is so embarrassing!!!”

“Y/N–” Jungkook started when you lifted a hand up, pointing towards the door without lifting your head, feeling too ashamed too look him in the eyes.

“Please, just leave Jungkook-ah…I can’t. This is too embarrassing.” you begged as you saw his feet shuffle around, before he grabbed his stuff and made his way out the door, a breath of relief leaving you as you sunk against the wall.

“You’re kidding me?!” Seulgi repeated again while you were walking next to her, your shoulders slumped as your trudged down the sidewalk.

Keep reading

Downsized

Title: Downsized

Summary: You always knew life with the Winchesters was crazy. But when Sam brings back home a three-year-old Dean, you begin to question your own sanity…

Author: deanssweetheart23

Characters: Dean Winchester x reader, Sam Winchester

Word count: 2163

Warnings: Some language. Fluff and crack. Crack and fluff. Mentions of sex because Dean’s a cheeky bastard. That’s all I think.

Author’s Notes: This is my submission for @trexrambling and @wheresthekillswitch “Crack Challenge”. Ladies, thank you so much for letting me participate, this has been one very interesting ride. 

Special thank you to my amazing twin @ravengirl94 for coming up with a very important (and hilarious) detail about this. And for putting up with my whiny self. She’s a hero, really.

Now, my prompt for this was “I’ll give you three seconds to stop doing that” and is included in bold in the text below. Honestly, this is my first time doing something like this but I think I like what I’ve got. 

Without further ado. Enjoy <3 

Originally posted by demondetoxmanual


16:30

Silence.

You hated the silence.

You’ve always hated it, ever since you were a kid, but now, after you’ve spent years of your life filled with noise and cries and laughter, filled with arguments and bickering about whose turn it was to go for a supply run, or short, angry snarls and whispered promises in a dark room when it was just you and Dean, that absence of sound, of speech, made everything worse.

16:45

You stared at the clock on the wall and bit on your bottom lip hard enough to draw blood.

Something was wrong. You could feel it. You didn’t know how, or why –the details weren’t important anyway. What really mattered was that Dean hadn’t called since that morning and that sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach that just wouldn’t go away.

Maybe you should just-

The sound of the bunker’s door being opened then closed interrupted your thoughts and, before you knew it, you were practically running towards the library, eyes wide and senses alert, until your leg gave out and you stumbled into the doorframe, muttering expletives under your breath. 

“Hi there, Y/N.” Sam greeted you with an amused smile. “I’m glad you’re so happy to see me.”

“Oh, shut up. I was worried. How did the hunt go? Why didn’t you call? Are you injured? Where is-”

“Hey,” the youngest Winchester chuckled, all delight and waggishness, “one question at a time, champ.”

Rolling your eyes, you raised an eyebrow in suspicion; despite his playfulness and confident swagger, you could see the way his smile seemed a bit too forced and his forehead puckered just a tiny little bit.

“Where is Dean?”

“Um,” he started, rocking back and forth on his heels, “about that.”

“Sam.” you tried again, a bit more forceful. “Where is Dean?”

And then, right before he could actually reply, a little kid with blonde hair and green eyes gripped on Sam’s leg and swam into view, wearing what was supposed to be one of Dean’s shirts and, oh, God, this was not happening.

“Is that-

Keep reading

Let's Play Minecraft #253: Sky Factory Part 3
  • Gavin: Bedroom's done!
  • Michael: Ooooooh!
  • Jeremy: Woah!
  • Michael: *gesturing to the bed* Oh, is this where we sleep here?
  • Gavin: Yeah, we should all sleep here. Oh hold on, finishing touch! *punches a hole in the wall and runs to the chest* Hold on.
  • Michael: I'm holdin'.
  • Gavin: Wait for it.
  • Michael: Oooh, I'm getting tired!
  • *Jeremy knocks more holes in the wall Gavin just made*
  • Michael: *whispers* Jeremy, you fucking monster.
  • Gavin: OH! Jeremy! Nono! NO!
  • Jeremy: No?
  • Gavin: *Places glass* Got it.
  • *Jeremy and Michael laugh*
  • ...
  • *Jeremy smashes the glass*
  • Gavin: Oh!
  • Michael: Oh my God, you just smashed the glass!
  • Gavin: We only had one-
  • *Jeremy punches Gavin out of a window*
  • Michael: OOOP! OOP!
  • *Gavin falls to his death. Jeremy starts wheeze-laughing*
  • Ryan: What's happening over there?
  • *Gavin dies*
  • Ryan: GAVIN!
  • Gavin: Jeremy just chucked me out the WINDOW!
  • Ryan: GAVIN!
  • Gavin: WITH ALL OF- *STRANGLED YELL* JEREMY!
  • Ryan: What did he ha- What did you have?!
  • Gavin: JEREMY!
  • Ryan: You had wood didn't ya?
  • Gavin: WHA- I HAD ALL KINDS OF WOOD, JEREMY
  • *Jeremy's still wheeze laughing*
  • Gavin: AND NOW WE HAVE ANOTHER SHITTING BLOODY BEACON OF LIGHT COMING UP THROUGH THE DAMN- IDIOT!I HAD A SUPER CROOK- I HAD A SUPER CROOK, JEREMY. YOU SMEGGER!
|Kissing Pact| R. MANTLE IMAGINE

IMAGINE ABOUT: Reggie and Y/N play a certain dangerous game. 
Who kisses first loses.
 Enjoy fam. Have a wonderful weekend babies. 

Tell me if you like it so I can make more :) 

ASK ME / I HAVE MASTERLIST NOW! 



I guess you could say this is what an awkward tension filled environment feels like. Veronica and some of my other friends arrived a while ago and since then, everyone’s been doing their own thing really. Joaquin and Kevin keep pissing each other and then making out a few seconds later. Veronica and my friend Betty seem to be getting along, I think I can play matchmaker one day and set them up on a date. I don’t know if Betty is into girls or not though, but damn they’d look adorable together. Chuck and Moose have been on their phones since they got here, only casually getting up for some drinks, and Reggie and I have been trying to keep our hands to ourselves for the rest of the night, well maybe only he is.

I thank god that the lights are turned off because if nor, everyone would have given us ‘what the fuck are you doing’ look and I would killed Reggie with my bare hands. Speaking of hands, his seem to be wandering around me quite much and it’s making me want him even more. 

Out bodies still lay beside each other, pressed and warm. His hands circle my waist an the other falls on his lap. I keep my hands to myself, intertwining them together not allowing them to fall to my stopach. Every other minute, he starts rubbing my hip as slow as posible and lowers his hand, teasing me with his fingers. His eyes stare at me, almost like he’s waiting for me to crack and jump him in a minute. 

I decide to play along with his unfair fucking game and un-intertwine my fingers from each other, slowly letting my left hand reach the hem of his shirt. 
I feel his stare burning thorough me but I ignore, letting my hands unbutton his pants and pull down his zipper. I hear his hot breath getting louder around me and I smirk to myself, dragging my fingers along the place his zipper was once zipped, making him shift in his seat. 

Interrupting my worrying thought, I feel his hot breathe circle around the back of my head beside my ear “You’re driving me fucking insane,” he bellowed. 
My lips twitch at his words and before I could comperhend what in the hell I’m doing, I tug on his shirt and stand up, motioning him to follow me. 

I make sure I get out of the lounge and down the kitchen as slowly as possible, knowing they’d question why the both of us leaving together. But in all honesty, I think everyone’s too busy to even care. I reach the kitchen and start pacing around. What the hell am I doing? I’m such a darn idiot, oh my god. There’s no backing out now, I’m doing it, I don’t care. I’m so damn frustrated. What am I saying? 

Cutting my thoughts, I see Reggie’s figure hop down the last step of stairs, running his hands through his hair and tugging at the ends. He comes towards me, which to me seemed like it’s taking forever for him to walk those steps. 
I roll my eyes at his smirking face and pull him by his shirt until we reach the middle of the kitchen, right in front of the counter. 

Catching me off guard, I feel his strength filled arms pulling my waist to his, wrapping them around me. One hand goes to my hair and the other stays safely on my waist, his thumb running over the exposed skin. His back is leaned against the counter table and my body is pushed against his, there’s no backing away now, huh?

I keep my eyes focused on his chest, not daring to look up at him, knowing well enough his piercing brown  eyes are looking right at me with a smirk plastered to his face in defeat. 
“Princess,” he whispers, his thumb and finger pulling my chin upwards to look at him. I melt in his arms the moment I do, making my knees go weak at his touch. “Finally?” his lips pull into a satisfied smile, leaning his forehead against mine, our nosing touching and our lips only inches away from each oters. 

“Shut the fuck up, Mantle.” I menage to whisper in his lips before he attached his to mine, cravingly. I almost immediately kiss him back, savouring the taste of his lips. His mouth works perfectly with mine, letting my hands go up to his neck and playing with the ends of his hair, tugging at them. 
Suddenly, I feel as if there is no one in this house and tonight might as well be the greatest night I’ve ever lived. The place goes muffled and the only thing I hear and feel is my hart racing and his hand all over, holding me in all the right places. 

Reggie’s lips feel like geather against mine, I feel them wanting and longing for more and I love it. I feel his smile on my lips, making it impossible not to smile back. He bites my lower lip and pecks my lips as soft as possible before pulling back with a grin on his face. He licks his lips and stares at me, waiting for my reaction. His warm hands don’t stop fiddling with my hair and resting on my shoulder. 

Both our hearts are beating hevily and anyone can tell by the heat between our bodies and our rising chest. I chuckle down to myself an bring my eyes to look up at his. “So, I guess no one wins.” I sigh

“I should’v bet something on this. I knew you couldn’t keep your hands off my for that long.” 

“My god, you just ruined a perfectly good moment, you dick face, and I just get you down here, you kissed me first, don’t make assumptions” I shake my head and shrug confidently. 

“No, princess, we both know you did.” 

“Don’t fucking argue with me, this is all your fault!” I throw my hands in the air. He laughs at my response, shaking his head. “You kissed me first and you know it, okay?” I conclude. 

“Hey,” he nods at me, “shut up.” before I could protest, his lips reattach to mine, this time harder and with more longing passion. I feel as if we’ve been doing this for eternity. His touch feels so familiar and his lips on mine feel like the simplest thing. I laugh in his lips, earning one back from him right away. 

Seconds later, his body pushes mine further into the center of the kitchen and kneels down enough for me not to have stand on the tip of my toes and struggle. His tongue licks my lower lip for etrance and I grant it the following second, wanting to feel him closer and stronger. 

He detaches his lips from mine for a second, still not leaving room for my lips to move or they’d be rejoined once again. “Jump,” he whispers, his hands sliding down in-between my thighs. I let out a shaky breath as his surprisingly good felt touch and do as he demands. I jump into his arms and wrap my hands arond his neck tighter, bring my legs around his waist. His scent flows over mine, irking of men’s cologne, and cold, he just smells like cold. 

His hands are supporting my body as if it’s the simplest thing in the world, not flinching nor letting out any sign of uncomfortable movement. He spins me around and settles me down on the counter table, his height still towering over mine by a few inches. Our lips don’t let go of each other, still battling and moving in synced action. My hands pull at his shirt from the back signifying I want it off. He takes no second to quickly let his lips pull away from mine to pull the shirt over head and onto the floor. I pull him closer, runnig my hands through his hair. Reggie’s lips reconnect with mine, kissing me slower. 

As I am about to tug on my own shirt, I feel the front foor pushing open. Fuck, not this again. I pull away from Reggie, staring at him in horror. He quickly reacts, pulling his shirt over his torse. I jump off the counter and sit on one of the stools, still cathing my breathe. 

“Y/N?’ 



Surprise! I have another Reggie fucking God Mantle. 

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He doesn’t remember inviting me to his house and begging me to be his coach. He doesn’t remember dancing with me and grinding on my four thousand dollar suit in a room full of stuffy uptight strangers and sweeping me off my feet and spraying himself in champagne while standing on Chris’ powerful inner thighs for the camera. We had such a good night I thought we really connected and all this time he has been thinking the first time we spoke was when I showed up to his house unannounced with all of my stuff and my dog. I was throwing myself at him. I wanted him to see I could be fun and sexy too. I thought the reason he never tried to contact me after that was because he realized what a boring prude I am. Oh my god he probably thought I was a creep. Oh my GOD he probably thought I was some kind of fake flirty airhead. And a gross pervert for making him dance Eros. How did he not throw me out? And I was so pissed when he kept turning me down after everything at the banquet. He acted like he had never spoken to me before because he thought he HADN’T. And I was too embarrassed to ask what made him change his mind about me. This is unbelievable. I’m an idiot. I’m a huge idiot. But I’m an idiot wearing his ring somehow. Fuck.

I need to talk for a second about Emma’s reaction to wish!Hook. I mean, yeah, it was funny, haha, but also… I think it shows us quite a lot about them as a couple. He’s posturing and being pretty ridiculous but she doesn’t mock him, or rise to him. She’s there in the background, hiding a smile or biting back laughter and making her Emma faces, like “this idiot, oh my god”. She talks to him in that gentle voice that says she cares about him. She makes those wry, snarky remarks but in a teasing way.

The whole time, she just has this good-naturedly exasperated attitude, like “oh what have you done now”. Even if you’d never seen these two characters before, you’d know that they’re close. That she knows him and loves him, no matter what. That she understands him in a way that maybe he (or this version of him) doesn’t even understand himself. That they have the kind of relationship where they’ll tease and torment each other, but also have each other’s backs, 100%.

And it’s not even really him, and she’s aware of that, but you still get this insight into them as a couple. More than ever you can see her treating him like someone she’s really close to, and honest with, someone she knows really well and loves despite (or because of) all his quirks and flaws. It’s a lovely touch.

    *two days ago*

sm: hansol its ur time to shine

hansol: shit really oh my god FINALLy

sm: yes so when we post the teasers on the groups account you’re gonna post on your account the ones we sent to your phone, got it?

hansol: u know it man

    *today*

sm: jeez ok drop the teasers boiz

hansol: *gets notifs* nct127 just shared a post

hansol:

hansol: o shit thats my queue

hansol: uhhhhh what was i supposed to post again ….. ??

jaehyun: you’ll find it in your camera roll dude

hansol: o rite

hansol: *scrolling through camera roll* OMG DOGGOS *posts it *

sm, screaming in the background: NOT THAT PHOTO YOU IDIOT

Family Reunions Pt 2

Jason Todd x Reader

A/N:  I really hope everyone likes this.  I really tried not to make it too long, but it’s whatever. (Requests are open please send them)

Summary:  After meeting part of the Batfam, to Jason’s surprise you invite all of them to dinner.

Part 1

After breakfast, Dick got a call from work and took Tim back to the manor.  Meanwhile Jason had finally woken up to the sounds of dishes rattling and shuffling in the kitchen.  He winced as he sat up glancing at his fresh bruises and raw shoulder.  As he drug himself out of bed and down the hallway to the kitchen he noticed three unwashed coffee mugs sitting on the counter.

    “Thirsty?” He commented, suspicious.

    “Jason,” she smiled. “How’s your shoulder?  I put some medicine on it this morning, I thought I might numb some of the pain-”

    “Did we have company this morning?” Jason interrupted.

    “Oh just your brothers,” y/n mumbled.

    “What?  They followed me home?!”

    “Jason!” y/n shouted over him.  “It’s okay, I talked out some things with Dick and Tim.  They just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

    “They followed me to our home, y/n,” Jason elaborated.  “This is not okay!  I’m going to see them.”  Jason started walking to their shared room to throw on a shirt.

    “Jason, no!” she said, making a poor attempt to block the door.  Jason glanced at her; how could she be so cute?  In his shirt trying to block him from leaving when he could easily pick her up.  “Listen I know your family isn’t the most functional, but they’re all you’ve got.”

    “Y/n, I need to have conversation with them,” he sighed, “about boundaries.”

  “Then you can talk to them tonight.  I invited your brothers, Bruce, and Alfred over for dinner.”

    “You did what?!”

    “Jason, listen!” She shouted.  “They don’t know me, at all, and they very suspicious people so I need to have a good impression.  Plus, you know they’ll come back here either way, they might aswell be invited.”

    “Well you need to uninvite them or I won’t be here when they come over-”

    “Jason Peter Todd they are going to be our guests and you are going to deal with it!” Y/n yelled, storming out of the room.  Jason threw his face into his hands and groaned, well tonight should be eventful.

————————————–

    It was around six twenty when y/n came out of their room in a new dress ready to meet Jason’s whole family.  She sauntered down the hallway pleased with the sight in front of her, a spotless apartment and her gorgeous boyfriend putting the finishing touches on their dinner.  She snuck up behind him and wrapped her arms around his torso as he kept their meal warm on the stove.

    “Hello, handsome,” she grinned into his back.

    “Hey, beautiful,” he smiled turning around and giving her a peck on her forehead.

    “Like what you see?” she asked.

    “I always do-”  Before Jason could finish his sentence there was a knock at the door.  “What the hell?  One of the neighbors?”

    “Don’t worry, it’s your family,” she stated.

    “How do you know?”

    “They never buzz in.”

    Y/n strolled over to the door and pulled it open to reveal Dick and Tim in the same clothes they were from this morning.

    “Hi boys,” she greeted.  “Come on in, Jason’s making dinner.”  They followed y/n into the kitchen where Jason was.

    “Hey baby bird,” Dick grinned.  “How’s the shoulder?”

    “Sore, but fine,” Jason responded, uninterested.

    “Hello, Jason,” Tim said.

    “Hey, replac-,” Jason was cut off when he noticed a hard glare coming from y/n.  “Tim.  Hello, Tim.”  Dick and Tim glanced at each other almost in shock.  He must really like y/n.

    “So where’s everyone else at?” y/n asked.

    “Oh, you know, Bruce has always been very punctual,” Dick answered.  “I bet he’ll buzz in exactly at six thirty.”  Right as Dick finished speaking someone buzzed in to come up to their appartment and low and behold Dick was right, it was six thirty.  Jason pressed the entrance button and in a few minutes there was a knock at the door.  Y/n was at the door in a matter of seconds primping herself on the way over.  Jason grinned at her, everything she did just made his heart beat a little quicker each time.

“So baby bird,” Dick started, “it looks like you’ve got a keeper.”  For first time in many years Dick heard Jason chuckle.

    “At least you’re right about something,” Jason snickered.

    Y/n opened the door and was greeted with a very tall handsome man who she knew to be Bruce Wayne, Alfred; who she’s seen pictures of; and a boy Jason calls “Demon spawn” also known as Damian Wayne.

    “Hello you must be Jason’s girlfriend-”

    “Y/n,” she interrupted.  “It’s really exciting to meet you, Mr.Wayne.  Please come in.”  

     “Please call me Bruce,” he responded.  They followed her from the doorway into the living room, which was now converted into a dining room.  Y/n ignored Damians judgmental glares while looking at her home.

      She smiled and turned toward the kitchen, “Babe; Bruce, Alfred, and Damian are here.”

As everyone got situated around the table a nice coversation erupted, curtisy of Alfred.  The conversation was steady and calm, putting y/n’s nerves to ease.  Everyone seemed to be getting along.  Even Damian tried to get involved in the conversation and occational bickering with his brothers.  Eventually the topic that everyone was wondering can up.

       “So y/n,” Dick started, “how did you and Jason meet?”

       “Oh my god,” Jason and y/n said simultaneously.

       “You tell it,” Jason smiled at her eagerness.

       "Okay so I had an exam for a course I was taking at Gotham University. I was studying like a mad man during the night-“

        "At four in the morning!”

         “Oh shush. So anyway I was studying and I was blasting Alexander Hamilton, one of my favorite musicals, when this idiot comes banging-”

        “Knocking.”

        “Banging on my door! So I open the door and he starts yelling at me about how he can hear my music all the way across the hall. So you know what I do?”

        “She shut the door in my face.”

        “And guess what he does.”

         "I started knocking again.“

        "Banging again! So I opened the door didn’t say anything and then closed it.”

        "Slammed it in my face, again.“

         "So to calm myself down I went to the kitchen and got something to eat.  So I turn around and see him sitting on my couch!”

         "Your window was unlocked that was dangerous.“

          "He just sat there!” she gaped.  “We stared at each other for like 2 minutes before he says ‘You’ve got guts here’s my number you should text me sometime when you’re free.’ And then he just left!”

         “God I’m good,” Jason smirked.

          “Why didn’t you call the police?” Tim gasped. “He broke into your apartment!”

          “Well he was right it was dangerous to leave my window unlocked,” she stated. “And I established just how dangerous it was when I found Redhood bleeding on my couch a week later.”

         “I basically forced her to date me,” Jason chuckled.  Everyone turned to Bruce who was laughing.

        “Maybe one of you boys,” he jestered to Dick and Tim, “should use that dating tactic.”

         “The second time he broke in he was weak, vunrable,” Damian stated. “This would have been the perfect time for you to have run and called the police.  Why didn’t you?”

         “Very true, but by then I had figured out who he was,” she smiled. “How are the police supposed to put someone in jail who’s already dead?”  It was safe to say the rest of dinner went smoothly and according to plan.

Cure (2)

Bucky Barnes x reader

Notes: trigger warnings! Implications of sexual abuse, mentions of torture, swearing, injuries, memory loss, recuperating, fluff, angst and obviously, eventually: smut.

Summary: Bucky comes back from a mission, not remembering who he is or who anyone else is. He doesn’t remember Steve, Natasha or the woman he loves. She does immediately catch his eye, though. He thinks she’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, and he’s not afraid to say it in front of people he doesn’t know anyway. What does he have to lose? As far as he knows, he has nothing. On top of being somewhere he doesn’t remember ever being and being stared at by people who seem to know him, but he doesn’t know in return, he hears a voice in his own head. Because, of course, he must be insane.

A/N: This might hurt a little. Just a little. 

Originally posted by captaincentenarian

It’s weird, waking up not knowing where you are. It took me a while to remember what happened last night, and it took me even longer to realise that I’m not alone in this bed; even when I’m curled around the warm body next to me, my arms around her waist and my face nuzzled into the back of her neck.

She smells familiar. She smells like.. home.

Keep reading

Don’t Say Anything (part 5)

Summary: You finally decide to tell Bucky that you’ve been in love with him since the day you met but what happens when you walk in on him with a girl? And not just any girl; Natasha.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Pietro Maximoff

A/N: Hiiiii sorry for the wait!


“What’s wrong? You bolted out of there so fast.” Bucky says, stepping inside your room.

You pull away from the hug but Wanda doesn’t fully release you from her hold. “I’m fine, I just felt sick.”

His eyebrows knit together. “Sick? Do you need me to get you some medicine? How sick? Like nausea? Stomach pains?”

“She’s fine now, Bucky.” Wanda snapped. “You can go back to the kitchen. I’ve got her.”

She was shooting daggers into his head. If looks could kill, he’d be dead. Bucky genuinely looked confused towards Wanda’s glares and her tone. He looks at you as if waiting for confirmation and you rub your eyes.

“Go, Bucky, I’m fine, really.” you say.

A look flashes over his features, something you can’t quite decipher before he turns around and leaves your room. You let out a sigh and turn back to Wanda who was frowning.

“That oblivious asshole.” she muttered under her breath.

“Can we just forget about him for like, forever?” you groan, causing Wanda to laugh.

“Whatever you want, Y/N.” she says. “Ooo! How about we go see my brother tomorrow! I know you haven’t seen him in a while and it’ll be good for you to get away from Bucky for a day.”

You shrug. “Yeah, okay. I miss that squirt anyways.”

“I’m sure he misses you too.” she lets you go and nods over to your bed. “Get some sleep. We’ll leave around eight.”

“Isn’t Pietro gonna get mad that we’re there so early? He’s not a morning person.” you say, sitting on your bed.

“Yeah but it’s alright. He’ll get over it.” Wanda shrugged.

You laugh and climb into bed, watching as Wanda left your room after bidding you goodnight. You lay there for a bit, excited that you would be seeing Pietro tomorrow.


“Get up!” Wanda shouted before jumping on you. “Get up, get up, get up!”

You let out an annoyed groan and reach over, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at the brunette. “Shut. Up.”

Wanda smiles. “Come on, we gotta hit the road.”

“I haven’t even had breakfast yet, Wanda.” you whine, opening one eye to look at her.

“We’ll go get breakfast with Pietro now come on.” she pulls you up and out of bed before handing you some clothes. “I took the liberty of getting some clothes for you. Hurry up and take a shower.”

You playfully roll your eyes and snatch the clothes from her, disappearing into the bathroom. You have absolutely no idea how someone can be so happy in the morning. After taking a shower and getting dressed, you find Wanda in the living room, on her phone.

“I’m ready.” you announce with a smile.

“Ready for what?” a groggy voice says from behind you. Both you and Wanda turn around, seeing Bucky standing there. It’s clear that he’s just woken up.

“We’re going to see my brother.” Wanda smiled. Bucky tenses up.

“Oh.” he nods. “Are you sure you have to go? I wanted to do something with you today.” he looks directly at you as he spoke.

“Um..” you cough. “Yeah. I haven’t seen Pietro in a while and I miss him.”

All he does is nod. The awkward silence makes it’s way towards you and Bucky but before it could get too awkward, Wanda comes up beside you and grabs your upper arm.

“Come on Y/N.”

You don’t hesitate, letting her drag you away from Bucky and out of the building, to her car. “I froze, oh my god I’m such an idiot. That was such an awkward silence and I hate awkward silences.”

Wanda puts the car in drive. “Don’t think about it too much.”


After a very long drive (actually it was only 20 minutes but you get very moody when you’re hungry) you finally make it to Pietro’s apartment. You go to knock but Wanda grabs your hand, stopping you.

“What? I’m gonna knock.” you say. She shakes her head and digs around her pocket before pulling out a key.

“I have a key. He gave it to me for emergencies only.” she tells you before unlocking the door.

The scent of vanilla dances around you as the two of you enter his apartment.

“He’s probably still sleeping.” Wanda whispered to you. She starts walking to Pietro’s room and you follow closely behind. Wanda quietly opens the door, revealing a sleeping Pietro facing the door. He was laying on his stomach and his face was squished into the pillow. He looked at peace.

You smile and walk towards his bed, laying down next to him while Wanda stood at the foot of his bed. She quietly counted to 3 before jumping on top of him, much similar to what she did to you that morning, and shouted ‘get up’. Pietro’s eyes snap open and he gasps, looking over at Wanda before glaring at her while she laughed.

“What the hell, младшая сестра!” he shouts, rubbing his eyes.

“I’m not little.” she states, moving over to sit down.

“I’m twelve minutes older than you.”

Wanda rolls her eyes before nodding her head over to you. “I brought you a present.”

“Thanks for objectifying me.” you spoke. Pietro looks over at you and a huge grin takes place on his lips.

“Y/N!” his arm reaches over and pulls you towards him, causing you to become squished between his arm and his chest.

“Hey Piet.” you laugh.

“What are you guys doing here?” he asks after hugging you.

“Can’t I just come by and see my loving brother with my friend?” Wanda sighs.

“You never want to see me.”

“Fine, you caught me.” she says. “Bucky has been giving her a hard time so I thought I’d bring her here to get away from him.”

Pietro looks at you. “Bucky’s been giving you a hard time?”

“Something like that.”

Pietro looks at you then at Wanda, obviously waiting for one of you to fill him in. Wanda rolls her eyes and looks over to you. “Can I tell him?”

You and Pietro look at each other and you nod. “Sure.”

And so Wanda tells Pietro everything, him nodding to signal that he understood what was being said. When she was done, he scoffed. “I could have told you that she liked Bucky.”

You and Wanda give him a look. “You mean you knew?”

“Yeah, it was obvious.” he shrugged.

“How did you find out? I never told anyone that I liked him.” you spoke.

“You didn’t have to.” he tells you. “Your body language says everything. Every time you were near Bucky you’d tuck your hair behind your ears and play with your fingers.”

“How did you-”

“I spend a lot of time studying people. I can’t believe no one has found out about your little crush.”

Wanda chuckled. “I wouldn’t call it little.”

You glare at her.

“Leave my love alone.” Pietro huffed, kicking his sister.

“I didn’t come here to be bullied.”

“Then you shouldn’t have came.”

“You know what-”

“Ugh, you guys are such siblings.” you roll your eyes at the two and they laugh. “Now that you’re all filled in on my tragic love life, can we go get something to eat because Wanda’s been starving me.”

Pietro chuckled. “Yeah, let me get changed.”


A/N: I’m. So. Tired. Anyways, bit short but oh whale. Tell me what ya think!

Tags:

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Shit my physics prof says
  • “And that’s exactly why your hand is attached to your body and doesn’t randomly fly through the room!”
  • “Alright, just let me use my crossbow for this.”
  • “Did I just shoot you? I didn’t mean to shoot you!”
  • “Why wouldn’t you have a random morning star laying around?”
  • “Don’t fucking leave your spoon on the moon then!”
  • “I’m probably going to kill one of you. Anyone wanna go first?”
  • “It’s like you parked your car on the sun. Same result.”
  • “Who else am I going to ask how to get rid of a body then?”
  • “Math doesn’t have any feelings, but you can hurt it anyway.”
  • “Are we doing voodoo now? We’re doing voodoo now.”
  • “I pretty sure a demonic thing ate it. That’s the only explanation.”
  • “Like, imagine you go on a nice trip… but in space!”
  • “I wanted to tell you an epic story, but my wife said no, so the epic story didn’t even happen.”
  • “Of course we could always just set it on fire and see what happens.”
  • “Nothing to feel loved like talking to yourself in a room full of people.”
  • “Well, it’s supposed to be done that way but — scratch that, it never works.”
  • “You disturbed the monkey!”
  • “Why did none of you get me coffee. I hate all of you.”
  • “There’s three types of people. Star Wars fans, Trekies, and idiots.”
  • “No. I just like blowing stuff up.”
  • (Imitates chainsaw noises.)
  • “Oh, come on, you can’t all be saving Hyrule at the SAME time.”
  • “Everything gets better with breadsticks.”
  • “OH MY GOD, THE ZOMBIE OUTBREAK. THEY ARE COMING.”