oh my god this looks so awful

I came up with a “humans as aliens” scenario on the bus and now I’m writing a story snippet.

Karikki was sitting in the ship’s mess when the most recent addition to the crew stumbled into the room and collapsed into a chair with a relieved groan, dropping her head onto the table.

“Rough shift?” ie said, making a sympathetic noise as ie broke off another piece of ir food pack.

Melanie Dupré, recently hired on as a ship’s mechanic and as of one month ago the only human crewmember of the Xanaki Star, mumbled something into the table before lifting her head so that her translator could actually be of use.

“I could swear the ventilation ducts actually hate me personally,” she said. “I’ve been running around all day.” A look of horror crossed her features then, and she groaned again, dragging her hand across her eyes. “And I left my food packs in my room. Goddamn it.”

Karikki churred soothingly. “Don’t worry about it, you can have one of ours,” ie said, getting to ir feet and digging one of the vacuum-sealed silver packs out of the pantry.

Melanie made a noise that Karikki had learned to interpret as grateful and peeled the pack open, looking down at it dubiously. “You’re sure this is okay?”

“We’re nutritionally compatible!” Karikki said. “The captain checked, before we hired you on. Just in case you ran out of your own supplies. It should be fine.”

“Okay. Thanks,” she said, breaking off a square of the compressed nutrition block and popping it into her mouth.

A look crossed her face then that it took Karikki a moment to identify: disgust, ie realized. That was disgust–which was made all the clearer when Melanie gagged and grabbed a napkin, spitting the square out into her hand. “Oh my god,” she said.

Karikki could feel ir antennae fluttering anxiously. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Is that a bad texture for humans?”

Melanie wiped her mouth, scrubbing at her tongue with the side of her hand. She shook her head. “No, the texture’s fine, it’s just like one of our protein blocks. It’s the [——], I’m sorry, I don’t mean to offend you, but it’s awful! How can you eat that?”

Karikki flicked ir ear. “Sorry, say that again? I think your translator cut out in the middle. It’s the what?”

“The [——]. It [——] awful. I’m so sorry.”

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jobetspot  asked:

#100 with Jungkook please! Thank you

I Got You On My Mind [Part 1]

Jungkook Soulmate AU

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven

Genre: Angst (ft. Fuckboy!Jungkook)

Summary: In a world where soulmates can share thoughts, you never imagined that the sweet voice in your head would belong to a guy like Jungkook.

Word count: 1.5k words

Originally posted by jungxook

You dropped your backpack beside you, and it landed on the ground with a loud thunk. Sighing quietly, you collapsed onto a beanbag (because your university was trendy enough to have them in the library) and tried not to cry. Your body sank into the soft material of the beanbag, and you wished you could just disappear.

The sunlight streaming in from the window beside you doused you in warmth, and soon you felt yourself slipping into sleep.

“Rough day?” a voice rang through your head. Your lips quirked into a smile, your earlier hardships completely forgotten.

It was a rare moment when soulmates shared thoughts. No one really understood the science of soulmates–the mechanics of thought-sharing, in particular. It was just a universally accepted phenomenon, and you thought it was beautiful.

Yeah, you could say that, you thought, hoping your soulmate would be able to hear you. Sometimes, all you got was a passing thought, and sometimes you were able to have conversations. There was only one limitation–you could never share your identity.

Still, you tried and tried and tried. You couldn’t wait to meet your soulmate.

“What happened?” your soulmate asked, his sweet voice making you blush. You thought his voice was the most beautiful thing you had ever heard, and you wondered if the boy was just as beautiful.

Just…life. University’s hard, you know? you replied. The little information you knew about your soulmate was this: he was around your age, also in university, studying music and dance, liked anime, exercised a lot.

“Trust me, I feel that,” came his response, and it sounded almost amused. “But you’ll be okay.”

For the next few minutes, you tried to think of something to ask him. You hoped he couldn’t hear your embarrassing thoughts. His thoughts were silent too, and you knew the connection had been lost.

Smiling sadly, you stood up and grabbed your bag. Your encounter with your soulmate, however brief, was enough to energize you. Ready to face the rest of the day, you walked out of the library. Your thoughts lingered back to your soulmate, and you wondered if he was thinking about you, too.


Your phone blared loudly, and you startled awake. Still disoriented, your heart thumped wildly as you searched blindly for your phone. Finally, you located it on your nightstand. Squinting at the bright screen, you saw that you had an incoming call from your roommate.

“Hello?” you mumbled, pressing your phone to the side of your face.

“Oh, shit, did I wake you up?” Jieun exclaimed, her excited voice too loud so early in the morning. “Well, since you’re up, we can talk! Y/N, you’ll never guess what just happened.”

You sighed, flopping back onto your bed. “So tell me,” you said blandly.

“You’re no fun,” Jieun pouted. “Okay! So. I just slept with Jungkook! Let me tell you, the rumours are true. He’s great in bed and he does this thing–”

“Wow! Cool!” you squeaked, quickly cutting her off. You did not need to know about Jieun–or Jungkook’s–sex life. “Is that a good idea, though? I know you’re low-key crushing on him, but Jungkook doesn’t do relationships, right?”

“He doesn’t,” Jieun confirmed sadly. “But maybe he’ll change?”

“I don’t know, Jieun,” you replied slowly. “Be careful, because with a guy like Jungkook, you’re only gonna get hurt.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” she snorted. You could hear rustling in the background as Jieun moved. “He’s a major fuckboy. I’m trying not to catch feelings, but he’s so damn hot.”

You grunted in agreement.

“Oh, Y/N, can you do me a favour?” Jieun asked suddenly. “I’m going straight to school from Jungkook’s flat. Could you bring me a change of clothes and, like, mouthwash or something?”

“Yeah, sure,” you yawned, getting up to go to Jieun’s room. “I’ll be at school in like an hour. Should I just meet you in the music building?”

Jieun was majoring in music, since she was such a great singer.

“Yep!” she chirped. “Thank you so much, Y/N. You’re the bestest friend ever!”


You walked aimlessly through the music building, a bag full of clothes and toiletries on your back, as you searched for the room number Jieun had sent you earlier. It was a practice room, and the hall you were moving through seemed endless.

In the distance, you could hear the sound of someone singing. As you continued forwards, the voice became clearer and clearer. The person had a beautiful voice. It was clear and melodious, floating softly through the air.

It tugged at the back of your mind, like a faint memory. It was almost like a weird sense of deja vu, and you struggled to recall why.

Then–it hit you.

This was the voice you had been hearing in your head your entire life–the one you had listen to transform over the years. Your soulmate was here.

Your heart thundered in your chest as you practically ran, following the sound of your soulmate’s beautiful voice. It led you to a door that was slightly ajar. Your soulmate was still singing, completely unaware that you were just outside the room, listening.

For a moment, you stopped, not entirely sure if you were ready to meet your soulmate. It was supposed to be the most beautiful moment in life, and it felt strange that your meeting wasn’t going to be spontaneous.

Still, your curiosity got the better of you. You peered through the crack in the doorway, searching for the owner of the voice.

Before you, Jungkook stood. His profile was facing you, the light from the window behind him highlighting his features. Jungkook was beautiful.

Then, you turned away. You could feel your heart breaking already. A guy like Jungkook didn’t believe in soulmates, if his sexual escapades were any indication.

So you left, locating Jieun’s practice room and placing the bag in front of it. As quickly as you had come, you exited the building, headed towards the library to drown yourself in work. You wanted to forget–forget who he was, forget about soulmates, forget about the future you had hoped for.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook’s voice suddenly spoke, clear in your mind.

You pushed his thoughts away, keeping your mind blank as possible as you hurried through the quad with your head cast down. You didn’t want to indulge in something you could never truly have.


You spent the entire day in the library, alternating between working and staring blankly at the textbooks in front of you. You had forgotten to eat that day, so when you finally staggered out of the library, you were exhausted and hungry. The walk home was quiet. The sun had set a long time ago, although you weren’t entirely sure what time it was.

Once you reached your apartment, you were surprised to find the front door unlocked. You and Jieun didn’t live in the best part of town, so you were always sure to lock the door whenever you came and went.

You turned the knob, and the door creaked as it opened. As you stepped through the threshold, you stumbled over a pair of shoes that were haphazardly strewn on the ground.

“Y/N!” Jieun exclaimed in surprise, sounding breathless.

At that, you looked up.

In front of you, Jieun was pressed against the wall, shirtless, as some guy was leaning over her, his lips attached to her neck. The guy turned towards you once he noticed Jieun’s stillness.

It was Jungkook.

“Oh my god, Y/N! I’m so sorry,” Jieun rambled, pushing Jungkook off her as she reached down to grab her shirt that had been discarded. “I thought you weren’t coming home tonight, since you were so late!”

“D-don’t worry,” you stammered, your voice wavering. You kept your eyes on Jieun, trying not to look at Jungkook. You could feel his heavy gaze on you. “I can stay with Rose or something, it’s not a problem. I’ll j-just leave–”

Suddenly, Jungkook was in front of you, pushing you backwards until your back hit the wall. His face was morphed into shock, even awe, before he schooled his features back into indifference. Jungkook peered over you, his large frame blocking your line of vision. You were forced to look at him, and his eyes were burning into you yours.

You’re my soulmate!?” he demanded, his normally sweet voice rumbling. The person he was in your mind was completely different than the boy who stood in front of you. “Answer me!”

“Yes,” you whispered, your voice faltering. You continued, your voice stronger, “I am.”

“Fuck,” Jungkook spat, leaning back. He stepped away from you, returning to the front door where he slipped into his shoes. Jungkook turned back to you, and when he spoke, his voice was cold. “I’m not the guy I pretend to be. So do us both a favour and stay the fuck away. Forget this every happened.”

With that, Jungkook exited the apartment, slamming the door behind him. You stood, back still against the wall. You could hear Jieun talking to you, but she sounded far away. But for the first time, your mind was completely blank.

You decided you hated the silence.

- Girl in Luv

Thanks for reading! I think I’ll continue this story…I hate sad endings. When I first imagined this story, it seemed like it could be a longer piece? Maybe I’ll rewrite it or make it a chaptered thing…what do you guys think?

Most of all though, it was you who I wanted to tell that I was hurting. You were the one I wanted to explain to that if I had my heart in my hands instead of my chest, I’d be able to watch it beat in pain to the beat of, “I’m hurting I’m hurting I’m hurting and you’re just watching”.

But no one wants to hear about the pain they’ve inflicted. One moment you’re telling me you love me and the next you can’t even look me in the eyes anymore and the next we haven’t talked in 3 months and oh god oh god how is this happening oh-

But it was still you I wanted to turn to, even though I knew that you weren’t part of the team anymore. I wanted to beg my heart to let it go, God please, there’s no point in beating for you anymore. But my heart’s never listening and my head’s awful at communication, so if you’re looking for a heart, another one to add to your collection, you know my house is the one on the corner of our favorite intersection.

—  It plays a song just for you
5

oh god im sorry i stalked your blogs for references for like 2 hours 

@drawinggheys @raythrill @objectionable-code @terror-in-the-dream @bocitena @juuria @halpdevon @lauwurens 

so uh… how do i words , uhm… a lot of you dont know me– hell i think only three people here know who i am, but i really really like your art (and art styles) and i look up to all of you a lot, and i look for inspiration from you guys almost every day so uhm… oh my god everyone is just so beautiful, the style, the colors, the line density, the face shapes– I COULD KEEP GOING ON AND ON REALLY—- but i cant because this post is long enough as it is

there’s so many more people i want to add and thank for being such a wonderful sources of awe and inspiration but my shoulder is killing me and its currently an ungodly hour of the wee mornings so i ask for pardon

ah– anyway, bottom line, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING AN INSPIRATION keep doing what you’re doing and i hope you continue to grow and be happier with your art every new day that comes your way!

-Celi <3

P.S. btw if you’re uncomfortable with me putting up your style there please message me and i’ll take it down im sorry;;;;;

You ever notice how PLAYING overwatch ruins overwatch characters for you?

Mei
Before: Awe, she’s chubby and cute
After: FUCKING FROZEN HELL SPAWN!

Junkrat
Before: He’s so dopey looking and cute! what a precious dirt boy!
After: STOP BLOWING ME UP!

Phara
Before: So strong and dignified!
After: STOP BLOWING ME UP FROM THE SKY!

Tracer
Before: Oh she’s so cool! she’s like the flash!
After: OH MY GOD STOP MOVING SO ERRATICALLY AND JUST LET ME SHOOT YOU!  

Bastion
Before: The best baby boy! he’s just an innocent bot!
After: YOU MECHANIZED DEMON!

Symmetra
Before: Cunning, looks unassuming but has an edge.
After:

anonymous asked:

Super important prompt: what was the boy squad doing leading up to Isak's insta post.

This is super important, which is why I have bumped it up on the list. Okay here we go. 

“This is a terrible idea” Mahdi states as the boys walk around the corner to kaffebrenneriet. 

“What the fuck?” Magnus screeches “this is a great idea. Trust us man.”

They all pull a chair out and sit at a table outside near one of the windows to the cafe. 

Isak licks his lips before nodding “Mahdi was right. This is a terrible idea.” 

Jonas laughs and shakes his head “oh come on don’t act like my ideas have never worked before.” 

“yeah but this time it’s half Magnus’s idea” 

“EXACTLY!” Mahdi exclaims already getting up from his chair. 

“Mahdi sit down” Jonas orders, trying desperately to calm the squad down. “it’s gonna work.” 

Mahdi reluctantly sits back in the chair with his shoulders slumped as he chews on his lip anxiously. 

“So which one is she?” Magnus asks grinning. 

“shhhh can you try to be less obvious?” 

Isak and Jonas raise their eyebrows at each other because they both knew the answer was no and that Mahdi was head over heels. 

“Is it her?” Jonas asked, nodding at a brunette clearing a table next to them. 

Mahdi shook his head. 

“What about him?” Magnus asked pointing straight at a guy taking someones order. 

“Nei Magnus” 

Jonas and Isak laughed 

“What I can’t remember if you said it was a girl or not. and he’s hot right Isak?” 

Isak leant back in his chair with a smug smile painted across his face. “nah not my type.” 

“You’re so whipped man.” Jonas shook his head grinning proudly at his best friend. 

Isak shrugged, smiling. 

“oh wait is it her?” Isak asked as he spotted a blonde girl. 

“oh my god you guys are awful at this.” 

“she’s pretty though.” Jonas said. 

“yeah hot!” Magnus agreed. 

Isak squinted his eyes and angled his head like he was looking at an abstract painting he just couldn’t get. 

“I think i’m too gay for this.” 

The boys roared with laughter, the warmth of the joke making Mahdi finally relax a little. 

Suddenly a short girl with glasses, wearing an army jacket under her apron, and her purple hair tied up in a bun on the top of her head walked out with a tray of coffees. 

“that’s her” Mahdi mumbled. 

“what?” Magnus asked confused 

Mahdi’s eyes nearly fell out when he stared at Magnus trying to convey what he meant “that’s heeerrr” he said between his teeth. 

“ahhh” the boys sang together. Mahdi rolled his eyes at how long it took them. 

Isak smiled “She’s cool.” 

“And cute” Jonas agreed. 

Mahdi smiled “yeah we met at a save the planet meeting” 

they all stared at him. 

“What? I care about the environment!” 

“Sure you do…” Jonas smirked and rolled his eyes “just like Even cared so much about kossegruppa.” 

Isak ignored him “anyway what’s the plan then?” 

Jonas and Magnus looked at each other in silence. 

“Hello? Plan?” Mahdi pressed, getting anxious. 

“ugh well…” Magnus began 

“This is as far as we got.” Jonas finished. 

Mahdi facepalmed “you have got to be kidding me.” 

“it’s not our fault! We were planning on Even being here to you know, take over…” Magnus said. 

“Yeah where the hell is he anyway?” Jonas asked Isak. 

Isak grinned cockily “i’m making him study for his math exam.” 

“Making him?” Mahdi asked

“How the hell could you-” 

the moment Isak’s cheeks turned pink the boys chuckled as Jonas waved his hand in the air, shaking his question away. “nope nevermind, I don’t want to know.” 

“Okay” Isak said, clapping his hands ready to take over. “this is what we’re going to do.” 

“Quick does anyone have any asprin?” Jonas interjected. 

Isak glared “that’s not my only move jackass.” 

“How about you go up to her and tell her-” 

“No Magnus” the boys said simultaneously. 

“Okay, Mahdi, you go and order us coffee.” 

Mahdi stared at him.

Isak stared back

Mahdi raised his eyebrows. “That’s it?” 

Isak smiled “that’s all there is to it.” 

Mahdi groaned, “I can’t believe i’m doing this” before standing up. 

Jonas clapped as Magnus cheered and Isak threw his head back laughing. 

“you all suck” Mahdi said before walking in to the cafe. 

“so how do you think he’s gonna do?” Jonas asked as soon as he walked inside. 

“terrible.” 

“he’s probably gonna pass out before he gets to the counter.” 

Jonas shook his head “you guys are horrible friends.” 

“hey it took me and Vilde like months to get together! How long did it take Evak?” he asked Isak. 

Isak thought about it. “well, we nearly kissed 3 weeks after we met…actually kissed a week after that but then we weren’t official until…like what a month? or actually maybe-

“We get it. It was complicated.” Jonas interrupted. Isak replied by sticking his tongue out at him. 

“real mature.” 

“so yeah it’s realistic for us to assume he will bomb out the first few times. It’s just how it is.” Magnus said wisely, shrugging at his insightful knowledge. 

Finally after ten minutes Mahdi walked out with a plate of Waffles. 

“So how did it go? Isak asked, just as Mahdi shoved half a waffle in his mouth. 

“Oh! Good. We’re going out on friday.” he mumbled through the mouthful of waffle. 

Magnus’s chin nearly hit the ground “you got…you got a date?” 

Mahdi nodded confused “wasn’t that the plan?” 

Isak grinned “nice one Mahdi.” 

Jonas high-fived him. 

Magnus was still in shock. “but…but….it’s supposed to- you were meant to- what about bombing out?” 

the boys laughed. 

“oh and she gave me free waffles!” Mahdi said proudly, staring at the plate with heart eyes. 

“she’s definitely a keeper.”  Isak nodded in approval. 

“see Mahdi you should appreciate us. Look, our plan work.” 

“your plan sucked” he replied. 

Isak nodded “yeah it did.” 

Jonas rolled his eyes. “Shut up and lets take a photo to commemorate this moment.” 

the boys all huddled together. Jonas struggled with his phone “do i…do I stand here, or should it.”

Magnus pointed at the screen, “maybe if you flip it” 

“but then we won’t be able to see what we look like” Isak stated. 

“Will someone just press the button?” Mahdi said. 

“I think i’m pressing” 

“wait you’re pressing?” 

“Yeah i’m not sure but - oh shit it’s taking photos” 

“it’s taking photos?” 

“oh fuck it was on burst mode.” 

the boys looked through the photos together. 

“Yeah that looks about right.” Isak said 

the boys agreed in unison. 

“Who wants to go get pizza? I promised Even if he studied for his math exam I would bring him home some.” 

The boys all stared at him in surprise.

“What?” Isak asked. “What the fuck did you think I meant?” 

Mahdi shook his head “nothing.” 

“oh yeah nothing I totally thought you meant bribing him with food” Jonas said as they all began walking off. 

“What?’ Magnus asked finally catching on to the conversation 

“OH I thought you meant sex.” he shouted, earning a punch in the arm from Isak. 

highlights of 4x07
  • shirtless Bellamy HELLO 
  •  honestly Kane is hot too 
  • and Harper DAMN 
  • “I just needed to see my mom” aw Clarke baby 
  • “Go take a shower” thank you Abby making sure Clarke is clean 
  • BELLAMY SUITING UP TO SAVE ONE OF THE HUNDRED that boy loves his costumes 
  • Honestly Bellamy is so BRAVE and GOOD I love him so much 
  • Becca’s house is amazing but there’s no way that pool stayed clean the whole time 
  • THIS IS THE SURVIVOR’S GUILT HOUSE OK 
  • Shower time for Clarke hell yeah I love this new soft look 
  • Why won’t anyone let my baby girl rest 
  • …Oh Bellamy…such a sad moment but GOD Bob is so good 
  • Murphy and Emori, the morally gray murder children 
  • Ilian is such a cutie patootie but I want Octagon to stay the hell away from him!!! Don’t taint him with your shitty ways!!! 
  • Bellamy and Kane’s relationship is so important and their talks break my heart 
  • “You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved” YES Bellamy time to focus on people who actually care about you 
  • Oh hi Roan 
  • Omfg did Emori plant that guy here what a devious little bean I love her
back home

ive never written anything w this relationship so i am pleased as punch and kinda wanna live in this world for a little while so i might post more

words: 2k

warnings: parent death ment

feat: everybody except scott and thor. i’ll probably find some way to work them in though.

a/n: bucky’s gonna b a bit of an ass



You were practically jumping up and down in the elevator because of how excited you were as the doors slid open. It’d been almost 6 months since you’d last seen Tony which was without a doubt the longest period of time you’d gone without seeing him in your life. Things had become chaotic in your life and his but the two of you still talked on a regular basis. You were his one sense of stability at this point in his life and he had proven time and time again that he would do anything to keep you safe.

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The Arrangement (Part 10: The Gala)

Summary: The gala finally arrives, and Dean is absolutely floored by your dress. An interaction with Samuel leaves Dean fuming, but you calm him down. Dean finally admits his feelings.

Pairing: AU!Dean x Reader

Word Count: 3,300 (hold onto your hats kids it’s a long one)

Warnings: Language, sexual tension, anxiety, mild smuttiness

A/N: It’s here it’s here it’s here it’s here the gala is finally HERE I’m so excited for you guys to read this part!!! It’s long, so settle in! This part is inspired by the song In Case You Didn’t Know, by Brett Young (ohmygod now I’m so nervous to post this aaaaahhhhh)

Need to catch up? Check out the Series Masterlist

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And of course now that mermay is over all I wanna think about is mermen. Specifically, mer-Steve and octo-Bucky seeing Mer-Natasha swimming away from the caves with a seaweed bag full of shrimps even though she does not like shrimp. They’re curious of course, because she always wrinkles her nose at them when they eat shrimp. Maybe they’ll meet her elusive boyfriend if they follow her. (“This is a bad, bad idea,” Bucky whispers. “And yet here we are, still following her,” Steve replies.)

Natasha finally stops in a cave quite a distance away, and they can hear people talking, but when Bucky sneaks closer to hear better, a rock falls on one of his tentacles, and he lets out a yelp that is loud enough that Steve considers just leaving him for Natasha to murder. But! He is a good boyfriend and instead accepts their fate together.

Natasha comes out, and she looks livid, but behind her, clinging to her shoulder, is a seahorse mer, peeking over her shoulder with big brown eyes. Steve slaps at Bucky’s shoulder, misses, and smacks him in the face. Bucky would be mad except he sees those big brown eyes too. What’s more, he sees the tiny bump on the man’s stomach.

“This is Tony,” Natasha tells them sourly. She’ll probably murder them later, but not in front of her pregnant friend. Tony invites them inside pleasantly and offers them some of the shrimp Natasha had brought. They accept. They can’t keep their eyes off of Tony’s baby bump. Natasha is going to murder them even harder. “Oh, yes! Three months!” Tony says proudly. “Sunset will be back anytime!” (Natasha’s face goes stricken for a moment. Steve and Bucky get the impression that Sunset, whoever she is, is not coming back.)

“She’s a witch,” Natasha hisses. “And if I see her I’m going to slit her throat.” Natasha looks serious. They’re pretty sure she’s always been willing to kill people but she seems downright bloodthirsty about Sunset. “So can we visit Tony again?” Steve asks after a moment. They expect her to tell them no, absolutely not, but she looks thoughtful for a moment, and then quietly admits, “He’s lonely. I think, deep down, he knows that Sunset isn’t coming back, either.”

Well, that’s all the permission they need! They visit Tony at least every other day, if not every day, and Tony is always happy to see them arrive and sad to see them go. Tony is a delight. He even lets them feel his bump when the baby starts kicking. Steve and Bucky are a little in love. They think (hope) that maybe Tony might be a little in love as well.

And then Tony tells them not to come around for a while. That… that hurts, and they don’t know what they did wrong, and Natasha isn’t around to tell them. Maybe… maybe they were wrong. Maybe Tony isn’t as fond of them as they are of him. And that’s okay! They would never want to make Tony uncomfortable! But… they at least thought they were friends. “Go see him, you idiots,” Natasha tells them tiredly a few days later, looking vaguely pissed off, and, well, Steve and Bucky are hurt but they’re not stupid so they go to visit Tony.

Tony looks pale and faint and he grimaces when he sees them and curls away, but they’re concerned now. “I didn’t want you to see me like this,” Tony admits, embarrassed, hands unconsciously rubbing up and down his swollen belly. “Had some bad kelp or something.” And that—that’s so sad, that Tony was embarrassed to be weak in front of them. Steve pulls him into a hug and then Bucky curls around both of them, tentacles soft and silky as he strokes Tony’s cheek, and Tony curls the end of his tail around Steve’s like he’s a piece of seaweed. (It takes effort to get Tony to unlock his tail, and it gets kind of scary near the end because Steve is starting to lose feeling in his fins Tony please please let go?!)

And, well, now that they know Tony will send them away for dumb reasons, they kind of don’t want to leave. Ever. So they don’t. Tony frets because of course he does—what about their own home, what about their friends— But Steve and Bucky hush him, with cuddles, and then when that doesn’t work, with the tiny kisses, and when Tony doesn’t push them away, more kisses, deeper, longer, until Tony quiets and settles. Bucky wraps a couple of his tentacles around Tony’s tail and lets him curl around them tight, lets his other tentacles drift over Tony and Steve idly, suckers pausing here and there. (Tony giggles when the suckers pull at his ribs. Bucky remembers this for later.)

Steve and Bucky are there when he goes into labor and they are, as expected, useless. “What are you even doing here,” Natasha asks snidely. She looks faint but she isn’t panicking like they are. Tony is a champ and doesn’t even scream or yell, and he has no idea why any of them are there, they’re not helping him, he is one-hundred percent doing this by himself except for when Natasha remembers she’s supposed to be supporting him and lets him squeeze her hand.

The baby is beautiful, with a light dusting of brown hair and big brown eyes just like Tony’s, tail red and dark. Tony clutches the baby to his chest, chest still heaving, but he still looks so proud. Natasha and Steve and Bucky huddle around him, breathless with awe, and touch the baby’s chubby little cheeks and hold his chubby little hands. Steve is a fool and lets the baby curl his tail around his finger and nearly loses said finger because the baby’s tail curls so tightly around it. “This is how I die.” “Oh my God Steve it’s just a fucking finger.”

Steve and Bucky dote on Tony and the baby. They’re a family now. (Sunset does come back once, probably to take the baby or threaten to take him to have Tony at her mercy. Steve and Bucky chase her off mercilessly, making it clear that if she tried it again that she would not survive. They never tell Tony. Tony never asks about Sunset anyway.)

slightlied  asked:

hello future drunk spooky, here is a prompt: skating family playing beer pong. they wager their medals

sorry this took so long! i vastly overestimate how fast I’m able to write sometimes. 

“after the party is the after party”

The after, after party for the 2017 European Figure Skating Championships is carefully cultivated chaos.

Ignition (Remix) blares through blown out speakers. Someone—Chris—acquired a whiteboard from mysterious sources. All Victor knew was that Chris had returned with a whiteboard, a long skinny folding table, more plastic solo cups than a party supply store, three rubber ducks in various states of decay, a wizards hat, and arms laced with garters and glitter.

(The whiteboard was a much bigger surprise than the garters and glitter. He’s positive Chris packed those in his carry-on. No one was brave enough to ask about the ducks. Yuuri had slapped a hand over Victor’s mouth and kept it there even when Victor licked it.)

(It’s not like he wasn’t used to Victor’s saliva.)

Chris writes down sixteen names on slips of paper and stuffs them into the hat, picking teams of two at random. Victor and Phichit both pout when they’re paired with someone other than Yuuri.

Phichit’s caught between glee and frustration. “This is gonna be a blood bath.”

The team names appear from a mysterious source.

(Phichit fools no one.)


Round 1: Elimination

Match 1: Emil and Michele (Comedy and Tragedy) versus JJ and Isabella (Team JJ Style)

J.J. makes the sign of the cross then misses three trick shots.

Isabella takes out half of Emil and Michele’s rack.

Michele sighs in relief and returns to his life’s goal of usurping Sara’s shadow. Emil follows.

Winner: Team JJ Style


Match 2: Leo and Guang-Hong (Team Kitten Video) versus Phichit and Chris (Team #clapback)

“Calling a behind the back shot,” Phichit says, not bothering to look up from his phone before tossing the ball, and pressing record on his phone. It lands neatly in the cup at the tip of the pyramid. He uploads it to Instagram.

Leo and Guang-Hong go down easy.

(Neither seems very upset.)

Winner: Team #clapback


Match 3: Yurio and Victor (The Kitten and the Crone) versus Georgi and Seung-Gil (Team E.mo.tion)

(Victor cries foul at the team names.

“I am not a crone,” he sniffs, “and I resent the fact anyone thinks there’s a bigger Carly Rae stan than me.”

Yuuri pats Victor’s shoulder, not even bothering to stifle his laugher.

Yurio turns and glares at him, “you did this to yourself, Katsudon.”)

Victor’s luck doesn’t turn once the round starts. Yurio makes two out of his first three shots. Victor misses all but one.

“You can drink all the beer, since it’s the only thing you’re good at.”

“Excuse me, I have excellent hand eye coordination.” Victor sniffs. His eyes are glued to Yuuri, engaged in a conversation with Sara on the other side of the room, Michele hovering just behind. 

On the other side of the table, Seung-Gil and Georgi have already started drinking. Georgi’s sobbing into his beer, Seung-Gil is staring at Phichit.

“Tell that to half the street lights in Saint Petersburg.” Yurio snarls, snapping a finger in front of Victor’s face, “Yakov should have sent you to obedience school instead of Makkachin.”

“What?”

“Oh for fucks sake,” Yurio grabs a ping pong ball and tosses it towards the Georgi and Seung-Gil’s rack. He sinks it.

Winner: The Kitten and the Crone


Match 4: Yuuri and Otabek (The Odd Couple) versus Mila and Sara (Team Wonder Woman)

“We haven’t even gotten a shot in,” Mila says, eyebrow raised. Yuuri’s already cleared half their rack.

Victor wraps his arms around Yuuri’s waist from behind and Yuuri fumbles the ball into the cup in front of him.

“Really?” Yuuri sighs, then drinks it.

“We might have to give you a handicap,” Chris says, idling at the side of he table.

“He already has one,” Yurio says, “It’s called Victor Nikiforov.”

Winner: The Odd Couple


Round 2: Semi-Finals

Match 1: The Kitten and the Crone versus Team #clapback

“God you’re useless,” Victor’s on his second beer of this round. He’d have drunk more but Yurio had taken two for himself.

(“I’m paired with Victor. I’ve earned it.”)

They’re through to the championship round of the first annual European Figure Skating Championship Beer Pong Tournament.

“I am a champion,” Victor sniffs.

“Champion loser,” Yurio misses. He angrily sips his beer though the silly straw Victor had slipped into his drink when he wasn’t looking.

(He’d growled but still used it.)

“That doesn’t make any sense, Yurio. I know English isn’t your first language, but I’m pretty sure those are opposites,” Victor’s grin is insufferably smug.

“What doesn’t make any sense is how you’re so awful at beer pong. Where the fuck is all of your coordination?”

Victor taps his lips in thought, “must have used all of it on my quads.”

“Oh my god will you just take the next shot already?” Chris asks, twirling a garter around his fingers.

Victor takes it and misses.

“I call foul, Giacometti,” Yurio snarls, crushing the cup in his fist. Beer splashes everywhere.

“Oh, really,” Chris flutters his eyelashes. Yurio is unmoved. “Care to make this interesting then? Raise the stakes a little since your already so invested.”

“Bring it.”

“Tournament winner gets gold,” Chris looks at Victor, pointedly, “all of the golds.”

“Deal.”

“I didn’t agree to this,” Victor protests.

They ignore him.

“Game on.”

The match is tense, stretching into two rounds over sudden death overtime.

Yurio hangs onto their medals.

(With no help from Victor.)

Winner: The Kitten and The Crone


Match 2: Team JJstyle versus The Odd Couple

Otabek sinks two consecutive shots, one of them while Yuuri’s taking off his pants to tie them around his shoulders like a cape.

Victor’s been forcibly removed from Yuuri’s side and he’s pouting against a wall—which is as close as Otabek will let him get.

(Team JJstyle is still arguing for Victor as a handicap. Yurio wants to see JJ lose bad enough he actually argues against it.)

“What the fuck Beka, how are you so good at beer pong?” Yurio asks

“I used to train with JJ,” Otabek shrugs, “someone had to protect him before Isabella.”

Yurio snorts.

To Otabek’s left, Yuuri makes three consecutive trick shots, pants-cape fluttering majestically behind him.

Otabek shoots him a deadpan thumbs up with Victor completes his transformation into the heart eyes emoji.

“I love you him even more now,” Victor stage whispers, fooling no one.

“He’s the enemy, asshole.” 


“I’m so gay for him.”

“Literally no one was questioning that.”

Winner: The Odd Couple


Championship Round: The Odd Couple vs The Kitten and The Crone.

“You’re going down, Katsudon,” Yurio’s fingers are primed for action, even though Otabek and Yuuri won the  garter toss for first shot.

“I wouldn’t mind that,” Victor slurs, eyes, tracking up Yuuri’s body to pause at his thighs.

“How the fuck am I the one who ended up with a handicap?”

“Luck of the draw,” Phichit chirps from his perch at by center of the table, sweeping his phone to take a panorama shot of the carnage.

“It was rigged,” Yurio mutters, as Yuuri sinks two shots, while Otabek makes his first and misses his second.

“Yuuri was really popular at parties in Detroit,” Phichit confides, “really really popular.” Victor face shifts to a bewildered blend of furious and horny.

“Way too much information,” Yurio fumes.

“Re-rack! Give us a….pyramid” Yuuri yells far louder than necessary. Victor sloshes beer all over the place in his haste to comply.

Yurio makes his shots, drunk on beer, adrenaline, and pettiness. Victor—miraculously—only misses one of his, leaving them tied.

“Don’t fuck this up, idiot.”

“So cruel! I am offended, Yurio. Who knows if I’ll ever recover,” Victor cries.

Yurio ignores him, “Re-rack. Same formation.”

Otabek re-arranges the cups.

Yurio, giddy as he ever gets, almost thinks he and the idiot can pull out a victory when Yuuri and Otabek each make both of their shots, get their balls back, and sink the last three before Victor and Yurio even have a chance.

“Fuck! Re-match!”

Otabek just shrugs.

Victor is frozen as Yuuri stalks over, deliberate sway in his step, predator honing in on his prey. He slides up to Victor’s front, grabs the loose ends of his now un-tied tie good, and reels Victor in like the catch of the day.

A flush blooms across the tops of Victor’s cheekbones.

Yuuri’s breath hits the side of Victor’s face, “now you have to marry me asshole. It’s…in the vows,” he slurs, “what’s yours is mine. Gimme all your gold.”

Victor shivers as Yuuri leans in to start pressing wet kisses against the side of his neck.

“Does anyone know a twenty four hour chapel in Ostrava?”

Yuuri took pity of how hard it was for Victor to process everything right then.

He explained gently:

“You’re my husband, we’re getting married.”

“How…” Victor began weakly and gulped. “Oh my god, how did I do that?”

Victor coming off painkillers after a bump on the head. He doesn’t recognise Yuuri and asks who the angel in his room is.  Silly, fluff one-shot.

Inspired of course by that video of a man not recognizing his wife while coming round from his surgery, and the many, many fic prompts that has generated.

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“Bruce...sucks” - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Summary : The women of the League are teasing you about the love bites that litter your body….

I already kinda had the idea of doing a similar story on the women side…So here we go. Last time the guys of the League were mocking Bruce for the scratches on his back (you can read that here), now, it’s Batmom’s turn (though I feel it’s not as funny as the other, I tried something else you know, so that the stories wouldn’t be exactly the same, too similar and shit…erf, whatever, hope it’s kinda ok). Hope you’ll like it (insecuritiesoverloadbutitsok) 

WARNING FOR LANGAGE and slightly NSFW, just slightly. Also, My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com

__________________________________________________

It wasn’t really part of your initial plan to shower at the same time than them. Bruce told you about his friends trying to tease him about the nail marks you left on his body after a heated night, and you were afraid that your girl friends would do the same, a bit paranoid about it really…

But then you thought about the fact that usually, women tended to be a bit more mature about that (maybe?), that they would probably behave and ignore the hundreds (literally) love bites on your body. 

Besides, there was only Diana, Zatanna and Dinah, surely, they wouldn’t say anything, after all, they were used to Bruce being affectionate towards you when he thought no one was watching, small love bites wouldn’t shock them or anything. They were your three best friends, they knew how to not intrude too much in your life. They would definitely not talk about the marks your husband left on your body. 

And oh you were so wrong. 

You were in your underwear when you started to notice their smirks, and the way they whispered in each other’s ears while looking at you. No…could it be ?

You turn around, and when Diana’s eyes go wide at the sight of the love bites on your front while Zatanna and Dinah just start laughing stupidly, you know you actually were right to “fear” a reaction from them. You roll your eyes and give them your best “really ?” facial expression before saying :

-Are you guys snickering like idiots because of the love bites ? 

Zatanna answers your question :

-No, we’re snickering like idiots because Bruce…

And then it happens. The worst pun you ever heard in your life (and you were used to Dick and Tim’s nerdy jokes). All three of them yell : 

-SUCKS !

Stun. That’s what you are. Wow. Even worst that the poor attempt from your male friend in the league to embarrass Bruce. An awful pun. 

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Dating Wade Wilson Would Include

AN: This is going to be a bit more perverse than the other Would Includes because, hey, it’s Wade.


  • Being very confused when he starts talking to no-one and looking elsewhere tells the audience about how awesome and badass he is
    • You will get used to it, you have no other choice really
    • Sometimes you will also jokingly throw in something you want him to narrate (like how amazing you think he is or something that makes you seem wonderful)
      • This will always, without fail, result in Wade turning back to no-one the audience so he can gush about how wonderful you are

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anonymous asked:

can you do the neighbor au for seokmin, jihoon, and minghao?? only if you have time of course ^_^

joshua, mingyu & seungkwan can be found (here) ~
wonwoo, hoshi & seungcheol can be found (here)
[this post mentions snakes so if you’re scared of them be careful~!]

Seokmin

  • is barely ever actually at his apartment 
  • like he’s the kind of person that has a super active social life so he’s probably spending the night over at a different friend’s house every day of the week or getting home at like weird hours of the night
  • but the landlord doesn’t care because hey in the end he makes rent and that’s what matters
  • like his door is full of take out flyers and sometimes even packages stand out on his mat for like 3-4 days at a time because like ????? does he even come home like ????? ever
  • inside his apartment though he’s got a lot of stuff because he never really throws anything out ?? like he’s got CD’s from when he was kid, boxes full of comic books and old action figures, and thrown over his couch is a blanket he got second-hand from hoshi
  • and it’s really kinda cool though because he has bookshelves full of trinkets and books and photo albums
  • and on his wall he has photos of singers and rock bands he looks up to
  • and since this is an au, seokmin’s closet looks like you took it from the nineties lots of dad caps, flannels, and ripped jeans because tbh if seokmin was going to have an aesthetic as just a regular dude living on his own he’d probably keep up with his band days and be the type to own a ‘nirvana’ t-shirt 
  • does weird stuff when he’s home alone like sit on top of the kitchen table and eat take-out and drink his soda from something that looks more like a vase than it does a cup
  • and you don’t even know who seokmin is. you don’t even think the apartment next door to yours has anyone living in it
  • until you’re over at a party a couple of blocks down hosted by your friend seungcheol and somehow you get involved in this crazy game of twister
  • and it gets down to you and this boy,,,,,, who is kinda cute with his pretty half moon smile and really big grin
  • and you’re supposed to get your hand over his and like flip yourself around but you end up wobbling and falling forward,,,,,,,,RIGhT ontop of this cute boy
  • whom you’ve never meet
  • and you’re like !!!!!!!!! sfhksda im so sorry!!!!! but you’re also laughing because god how awkward to fall on someone during twister
  • but the boy is just laughing too and he’s like “don’t be sorry, it’s my pleasure ^^” and you’re like your pleasure??? and he’s like “ive never had someone so good looking fall ontop of me before ;)” 
  • and you playfully like nudge his arm before giggling into your palm
  • and then you hear seungcheol’s voice like “hey lovebirds get off the twister mat so we can restart the game!!!!”
  • and you flush red when you realize you two,,,,,,are just laying there in front of everyone at this party
  • so you get up and offer your hand to the boy who gladly accepts
  • and the rest of the party you two stick together and talk and you find out his name is seokmin!!! and that he’s really really hilarious and good at body gags and puns
  • and he’s so totally your type and to your surprise seokmin is like “THIS is gonna sound corny but,,,,,,,, you’re totally my type,,,,,,”
  • and you’re like omg no way that’s what i was thinking and you two burst into giggles again
  • and when it’s time to go,,,,,,,,,seokmin is like “let me make sure you get home safe!!” and you’re like oh sure i live a couple blocks down and he’s like whaT a coincidence me TOO
  • and as you’re walking you and him are talking more and more and tbh you stop and you’re like “i don’t wanna leave,,,,,,,,i wanna spend some more time but since i have to go let me do this-”
  • and you lean up to kiss his cheek and seokmin is like grinning and he’s like i don’t want you to go either
  • and as you continue walking he holds your hand and you smile, but you’re so happy because finally you went to a party and you acTUALLY met someone sweet
  • and you’re like ‘oh this is my building here!!” and seokmin looks up and he’s like ,,,,,,,,,,,, wait
  • i live here too
  • and you’re like what oh my god what floor
  • and then he says the same floor as you and you’re like NO WAY WHAT ARE WE NEIGHBORS
  • and yes,,,,,,,, turns out that apartment you thought was always empty is actually seokmin’s apartment 
  • and you’re both staring in awe until seokmin is like 
  • “hey maybe that means fate brought us together for a reason,,,,,,literally together because we’re neighbors and also because i like you let me take you out on a real date tomorrow?”

Jihoon

  • always worn-out and the kind of neighbor who would fall asleep in the elevator ride if it weren’t so short 
  • you can tell by his constant yawning that he probably spends a lot of the night up doing work,,,,and like his clothes never look ironed and if you see him going to take the garbage out or get the mail he’s like got a face-mask on and the most sleepy expression
  • but also he always lugs around a guitar case twice his size and a shoulder bag that seems stuffed to the brim with notebooks of all different sizes
  • and he’s respectful, nodding to elders and things like that but mostly he doesn’t speak much to others
  • and it’s probably because he’s got one million things on his mind but also,,,,,,,,,i repeat: tired
  • his apartment reflects his hard work like the one thing that’s most noticeable in the entire apartment is that his living room has a huge desk with dual monitors and a shelf stuffed with books on musical composition and journals full of songs and lyrics
  • and jihoon has pens in coffee mugs in the kitchen, paper crumpled near the foot of his bed (a bed he never uses since he falls asleep in the computer chair or on the carpet beside his desk)
  • and im not saying this au brings back ponytail!jihoon,,,,,,,but that’s exactly what im saying
  • and there’s a point in the week when you have some trouble sleeping so to calm down you make some tea and go out on your balcony to sit in the night air 
  • and that’s when you hear it,,,,, the soft strums of a guitar,,,,,, then a sudden stop,,,,,, and then the guitar again
  • and you look over and for the first time, even though it’s a bit dark you can make a figure out on the balcony beside yours and you tell yourself “isn’t that jihoon’s apartment?” 
  • because although you don’t talk much to him, you know him by first name because your neighbors and when he’d moved in you had stopped by to welcome him and he’d told you his name
  • but it’s weird,,,,,you’ve never seen him outside his apartment 
  • and you never knew that he,,,,,played the guitar so well like you’d seen the case and assumed he liked music but the melody you’re hearing now is absolutely gorgeous
  • but then it stops suddenly and you hear him grumble a loud that it’s no good
  • and before you can really think you get up and go “i really like it!”
  • and jihoon’s head snaps up an he’s looking at you from above the fence of his balcony and he’s like ,,,, “o-oh uh im sorry for disturbing you ill be quieter!”
  • but you’re shaking your head and you’re like “no, i really liked what you played, is it your own?” 
  • jihoon nods, looking shyly down at his hands because gjfsgfs he didn’t know anyone was listening ,,,,,
  • but you just smile and go “it’s pretty, i would want to hear more.”
  • and jihoon seems hesitant, but it’s like 2am and you’re the first person he’s talked to in days since working on this song so he asks if you’d really want to hear what else he has and you say you do
  • so he plays it,,,,,,, and you close your eyes so entranced by the sound
  • and it’s enough to even make you feel a bit sleepy and when it’s over you give him a thumbs up from your balcony and he just shyly hides his head, but he’s smiling
  • and you say goodnight as you go back inside
  • and as your head hits your pillow, the sound of jihoon’s guitar fills your memory and you fall asleep easily
  • while jihoon sits outside on the balcony, holding his guitar and thinking about how breathtaking you looked standing there, eyes closed, with the moon as your backdrop and you and him as the only ones awake in that moment ,,,,,

Minghao

  • honestly,,,,,,,is he a model????? why does a model live in this building???? it must be because the rent isn’t that bad,,,,,,,
  • jkjkjk but seriously everyone is always in awe of minghao,,,,, because like is it humanly possible to look that good??? no matter what??? because he can come out in his pajamas and still look like he’s walking the runway at seoul fashion week good lord
  • but also,,,,,he’s just a sweet oblivious kid
  • and everyone whose older has the strong urge to offer him food and take care of him like maybe it’s because he’s so tall and thin but also just looking at him makes someone want to take care of him,,,,,he’s just so endearing
  • all the neighbors invite him over for dinner tbh he never even has to buy food
  • except jun will come over and literally eat every snack minghao has bought in the past week and minghao is looking at the wrappers all over his living room floor like: jun ge,,,,,,,,,,,,you’re a punk you know that right,,,,, (same goes for hoshi hyung who does the SAME damn thing some1 save minghao)
  • his apartment is pretty nice though,,,,like he’s got this nice aesthetic going with fresh flowers in the kitchen and lucky chinese charms hanging from the walls ,,,,,,, lots of tea and other herbs his mom sent him from china
  • it always smells really good in his house
  • but the coolest thing and like,,,,,,,ok seriously just think about this: minghao,,,,,,,,,,with a pet snake
  • and he has like a whole tank just for his pet,,,,who he named sunflower in chinese,,,,because of it’s yellow skin,,,,and when you first come in you’re like huh do you own a liz- THAT IS A SNAKE
  • but minghao love sunflower, he can take her out and wrap her around his shoulders and he’s like ‘she’s a shy thing, come and hold her’ 
  • also idk i just think he’d look so cool with a snake ,,,,,
  • but yes you find out one day about the snake because minghao gets in the elevator with you and he’s holding a box,,,,,,and the box just says,,,,,,mice
  • and you’re like “are those really,,,,,mice inside there?” and minghao smiles and he’s like “yes! for my sunflower!” and you’re like ,,,,,,,,,your sunflower???? and in your head you’re like is that his s/o??? why would they need mi-
  • and minghao is like “you wanna see her?” and you’re like ,,,,, “her?” and minghao is like “yeah!! sunflower!!” and tbh you’re like confused because you know minghao as he’s your neighbor, but you’ve always been scared to talk to him because lmao he’s beautiful and now he’s just inviting you to his house???? to see ‘her’?????
  • but the elevator is open and minghao is pulling you out by your wrist and he’s so excited that before you can even say much
  • you’re following him into his living room and he’s like “there she is~!” and you see it,,,,,,,the tank,,,,,,,,,,and then the little head of a S na ke ,,,,, and you’re like “t-t-t-that’s sunflower?” and minghao is like yep! and this is her meal!!”
  • and you figure out that whats in the box,,,,and why is was for sunflower,,,,,, and you might not watch sunflower ‘enjoy her meal’ but minghao just claps and is like “she’s pretty right??”
  • and you’re,,,,,,you know,,,,,,shell shocked to say the least but you’re like “yes,,,,,,she’s a pretty color,,,,,,” and minghao grins and he’s like “she also does a good job of keeping jun out of my house,,,,,he’s not fond of her.”
  • and you assume jun must be a friend of his but you laugh because that’s actually smart, say you have a pet snake and see how many of your friends refuse to ever come over again
  • but minghao turns to you and he’s like “usually people are running down the hall by now. good job.” and he ruffles your hair and you’re like,,,,,a bit embarrassed
  • and minghao is like “do you have any pets” and you guys talk about it until you say you have to go and minghao is like ok,,,,,you should come over and play with sunflower sometime!!!!
  • and you’re like gulping because how does one play with a snake,,,,and minghao can read your expression which just makes him laugh even more and he ruffles your hair again (he must really like doing that hmmm) and is like “don’t worry, ill be beside you to supervise!”
  • and you know,,,,,,,,why not like when will you get the chance to hang with a snake again so you’re like “sure!! just call me when you’re free~”
  • and minghao is like “oooo really?” and you’re like “sunflower,,,,,,,,seems nice,,,,,” and minghao grins and he’s like “i knew i liked you, sunflower will like you too~”
  • and you’re like well one you’re like oh you liked me 
  • but two now you have a play date with a snake,,,,,,,,,,,,,it’ll be worth it though
  • because one date with the snake but also,,,,,a date with xu minghao tbh i would sell my soul for that so snakes aren’t all that bad LOL 
3

I woulda given you the news but, y’know, you kinda made it clear you didn’t want to hear from me, so . . . 

The pornstache

(A/N): I’m so sorry you guys but I’m having really bad writer’s block right now and I couldn’t even write my own requests but I was sorta feeling this one so that’s why I’m writing it right now…sorry again

Request: CAN I REQUEST A SEB WITH THE PORNSTACHE? PPL ARE MAKING FUN OF HIM FOR IT AND HE ACTS LIKE HE DOESN’T CARE BUT PART OF HIM DOES BUT IT TURNS READER ON? LOL IDK, FEELIN’ THE STACHE REAL HARD RN HAHAHA.

Warnings: hints of smut

Tags: @mcuimxgine, @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x, @saradi1018, @holland-toms, @superwholockian309, @fly-f0rever, @capbuckthor, @livandlilah


   (I actually thoroughly enjoy the pornstache)

  You sigh softly as you listen to the roar of the crowd, just outside the blue curtains. This wasn’t the first time you’d ever been on a talkshow but no matter how many times you were on TV you’d never get used to it. You were much more comfortable behind some glass walls, singing your little heart out, not out in the open for everyone to judge you. 

   “And please welcome our special guest (Y/N) (Y/L/N)!” The curtains open and you plaster on a smile as you walk out, hoping no one could tell just how scared you were. 

   Jimmy Fallon, the host of the show you were on tonight greeted you with a wide smile and open arms. You gladly meandered into his arms, hugging him lightly as he beamed from ear to ear. 

   “It’s so glad to finally have you back on the show! It’s been what- 2, 3 years?” 

   “I think it’s been three,” You chuckle lightly, grimacing just a bit at your voice. “I’m so lazy, like it takes so much effort to put out music. You have to get out of bed, go to the studios at ungodly hours of the morning, sing for hours on end, and then repeat the whole process again,” You sigh softly, smiling just a bit. “But luckily I can look like shit and no one’s gonna notice right?” Everyone laughs at this, only partly boosting your confidence. 

   “Oh come on,” Jimmy gently smacks your shoulder. “I bet you look great,” 

   “Oh no,” You chuckle. “I look so bad in the mornings, like I’m surprised I don’t scare the shit out of my-” You pause, smiling as you think of your man back home; Sebastian. God, you loved that man more than anything. 

   “Out of your fiancee?” You nod and smile, unable to stop a blush from spreading over your cheeks. 

   “Yeah, I’m surprised he doesn’t leave me or something,” 

   “Um uh-” Jimmy chuckles, unable to even get through his sentence without giggling. “Speaking of your fiancee, aka Sebastian Stan.” At this everyone cheers, hollering and screaming at the mention of the love of your life. What made it even worse was that you knew he was watching from home, no doubt smiling as he recognized that tell tale blush of yours. “Can we just talk about his new facial hair?” At this Jimmy pulls out a picture of Seb with the mustache he’d recently been growing, a god awful pedostache. You laugh hysterically, snorting a bit as you look at the photo. 

   “Oh my god,” You laugh as you reach out and take the photo, looking at it more closely. “He looks like a poor kicked puppy,” You laugh some more, tears nearly falling from your eyes as you look at the picture. 

   “Do you kiss him with that thing?” You nod your head, still cackling at the photo. 

   “Oh it’s so great,” You giggle lightly as you pass the photo back to Jimmy. “But yes- yes I do kiss him with that thing,” 

   “Oh (Y/N),” Jimmy cringes, laughing just a bit. “It’s so bad though-” 

   “I think it’s adorable! Just look at this face!” You gesture to Seb’s face in the photo, still smiling widely. 

   “Everyone thinks it’s so awful though,” 

   “Well I think it’s absolutely adorable,” 

  “You really do?”

  “I really do,” You smile and nod affirmatively, looking at the photo again. 

  “So enough about Seb’s god awful facial hair-” Jimmy directs your attention away from the photograph and instead to an album, more specifically your album. 

   “So this is your fourth or fifth album?” Jimmy asks, giving you a slight smile. And with that conversation you delve into your interview about your most recent album. 


    You try to close your apartment door behind you quietly, hoping that you wouldn’t make enough noise to wake up Seb. It was 3 in the morning after all and after the show Jimmy had wanted you to stay and talk with him, the roots, and all the other guest stars on the show tonight. But as you open the door gently you began to realize that perhaps you may not need to be quiet after all because sitting right there on your couch is Seb, the remote to the TV clutched in his hand. 

   “Seb, What are you doing up?” You ask as you slide your shoes off, reveling in finally being free from the objective material. 

   “I was watching your show,” He mumbles sleepily as he rubs at his eyes in the cutest fashion. “I wanted to stay up and wait for you,” You smile softly as you make your way to the couch, taking a seat beside the exhausted looking Seb. 

   “You should’ve been in bed hours ago,” 

   “ ‘M fine,” Seb mumbles as he nuzzles into your neck, his mustache tickling your skin just lightly enough to border on tickling and pleasure. 

   “You’ve been up filming for hours straight, you should be resting,” 

   “I’m really fine (Y/N),” Seb smiles against your neck, his lips curling upwards wonderfully. “I don’t think I could’ve gone to sleep anyways,” 

   “How come?” You ask as you reach up to run your fingers through Seb’s wonderful hair. 

   “Well I’ve been meaning to ask you something since your show,” 

   “Yeah?” 

   “You really like the mustache?” Seb’s tone held just a bit of insecurity, one that you had to put a stop to immediately. 

   “Yes.” You reply quickly, almost too quickly. “I really like it, you can really rock the look,” 

   “I think you’re the only one who thinks that-” 

   “But that’s all that matters right? Who cares what your fans think, or some stupid magazine? So long as your soon to be spouse enjoys it then that’s all that matters,” Seb smiles gently as he kisses your neck softly, allowing his skin to brush against yours deliciously. 

   “That’s all that matters to me,” You sigh as his lips brush against your sweet spot with every word, each little brush of his lips sending fire to your core. 

   “You know what?” You smirk as you continue to run your fingers through Seb’s messy hair. “I think I’d like that mustache even more if you put it to good use,” Seb pulls away just a bit, looking at you with a curious look. “I bet your lips would feel incredible between my legs right now,” Is all you provide as you spread your legs apart, enticing your fiancee just a bit. 

   “Oh doll,” Seb sighs a bit as he leans down, his lips brushing by the waist band of your dress pants. “I’m gonna make you feel real good,”