oh my god this can't be happening

3

Smooches.

anonymous asked:

I need to tell you something important....hey man

  • Matt: You could have died, man!
  • Neil: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctors said the bleeding was internal. That's where the blood is supposed to be.
oh my GOD

sense8 is fucking me UP holy SHIT

I mean, when the finale is called “You Want A War?” you know it’s going to be crazy.  But HOLY SHIT.

anonymous asked:

Literally the most insane thing happened today. I work for a phone company as a call center rep. I get this call and immediately the woman is screaming. I can't understand what she's saying so I just read the call flow so I can get her info. 10 minutes screaming without giving me her info. When she finally does I pull up her account and its my aunt. I say "aunt (nickname)?" and she hangs up the phone. I'm literally dying oh my god

Watch on whimsory.tumblr.com

kissmeagainarthas  asked:

Thanks to that Disneyland meltdown Twitter thread, I got to recommend you to a uni librarian e-friend. Your fame continues to grow. (And the timing is auspicious since I got my copy of Down Among the Sticks and Bones today. Thank you for the tasty portal fantasy. Can't wait for #3.)

It took me a second to realize that you meant the “Disney themed airport departure lounge* Twitter thread.”  Thanks for recommending me!

(*I am pedantic not because I’m trying to be a jerk, but because in addition to the “this didn’t happen” crowd, I’ve also got the “oh my god if I had been on that plane, I would have murdered you all” crowd.  We were not on a plane yet.  We were in the central departure lounge of an international airport.  While I am 100% sure the kids bothered people, when given the choice between “kids get hyper and loud at the airport” and “kids do it on the plane,” I will always smile at rambunctious kids in the actual airport.  Kids who have loud singalongs with happy adults in the airport go the fuck to sleep on the plane.)

Development of Celeb Crushes
  • Me: Wow what a classically beautiful person.
  • Brain: Uh-oh...
  • Me: No it's fine, they're not my type. Ha. I can appreciate a beautiful person without having to watch their entire back catalogue of work y'know.
  • Brain: You don't have time for this!
  • Me: Relax, it's just one film.
  • Brain: It's one film now, but then there's the three hours of Google Image Searches afterwards!
  • Me: Nonsense! I just want to make sure I'm immune.
  • Brain: Oh boy...
  • Me: It's fine. I can look at them and feel nothing.
  • Brain: ???
  • Me: I feel nothing.
  • Brain: Why have you spent 45 minutes looking at their pictures?
  • Me: I feel nothing.
  • Brain: You're imagining lazy Sunday morning cuddles with you as the little spoon! This is it. You're gone.
  • Me: I feel nothing. Maybe I am incapable of love now.
  • Brain: *eyeroll* Batten down the hatches, lads, she's gonna go - in three... two... one...
  • Me: Shit!
  • Brain: Here we go!
  • Me: They really are beautiful! Like oh my god look at them it's like they were carved by angels!!! Oh no no no no no!!! Not this! This can't be happening! Oh no! I thought I was immune! Why you play me this way, Brain?! WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP ME BEFORE IT WAS TOO LATE?!?!?
  • Brain: *facepalm*