oh my god they killed heather

Heathers: a summary
  • Heather Chandler: hoe don't do it
  • Veronica: *talks to JD*
  • Heather Chandler: oh my god
  • --
  • Heather Chandler: hoe don't do it
  • Veronica: *pukes*
  • Heather Chandler: oh my god
  • --
  • Veronica: hoe don't do it
  • Heather Chandler: *dies*
  • Veronica: oh my god
  • --
  • Veronica: hoe don't do it
  • JD: *kills Kurt and Ram*
  • Veronica: oh my god
  • --
  • Veronica: hoe don't do it
  • Heather Duke: *becomes the new Heather Chandler*
  • Veronica: oh my god
  • --
  • JD: hoe don't do it
  • Veronica: *dumps JD*
  • JD: oh my god
  • --
  • Veronica: hoe don't do it
  • Heather McNamara: *tries to kill herself*
  • Veronica: oh my god
  • --
  • Veronica: hoe don't do it
  • JD: *tries to blow up school*
  • Veronica: oh my god
  • --
  • JD: hoe don't do it
  • Veronica: *shoots JD*
  • JD: oh my god
  • --
  • Veronica: hoe you better do it
  • JD: *blows self up*
  • Veronica: fuckin' finally jesus christ i'm going back to hanging around nerds
The Heathers have a fake ID
  • *Heather Duke is panicking outside a liquor store*
  • Heather M: Are you okay?
  • Heather D: No, I should have worn the vest! No! No!
  • Heather C: What the fuck are you doing?
  • Heather D: What if I go in and they turn me down?
  • Heather C: Then we're in the same exact place that we are now! Who cares?
  • Heather D: It's fucking humiliating! Everyone in the store sees 'em kicking me out?! And what if they make me put the liquor back?! I can't do that!
  • Heather M: Oh my god.
  • Heather C: THIS WHOLE THING IS BIGGER THAN YOU, HEATHER! SO GROW A PAIR OF NUTS AND FUCKING WALK IN THERE AND BUY THE ALCOHOL!
  • Heather D: What if I don't feel like it anymore, Heather? What?
  • Heather C: Then I'll fucking kill you. I'll get a knife and stab you through your fucking heart!
  • Heather D: Killing me won't get you alcohol, jerkoff. I'm the one with the fake ID!
  • Heather C: Then I'll cut your dumb little fucking face off, throw it over mine, grab your fake ID, and buy it my FUCKING SELF!
  • Heather D: Oh really? You don't have the technology OR the steady hand to pull off a procedure like that, so HA! PEACE!
  • *Heather Chandler shoves Heather Duke towards the store*
alternative titles for heathers songs
  • beautiful: the ten minute exposition song
  • candy store: here's a list of things the heathers like
  • fight for me: oh no he's hot and deadly
  • freeze your brain: this is foreshadowing for suicide
  • big fun: white children drink and scream
  • dead girl walking: softcore porn! the musical
  • the me inside of me: everyone loves the dead one in red
  • blue: touch my dick
  • our love is god: this went from 1 to 100 real fuckin fast
  • prom or hell?: my punk bae kills people nbd
  • my dead gay son: GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY
  • seventeen: can you be normal for like two seconds
  • shine a light: tell EVERYONE E V E R Y T H I N G
  • lifeboat: aw h. mcnamara bbu
  • shine a light reprise: h. duke is the fucking worst
  • kindergarten boyfriend: aw this is really sweet-- OH MY GOD NO
  • yo girl: local ghosts narrate gun kid breaking in
  • meant to be yours: shockingly enough the kid who owns guns and shoots people for fun is FUCKING INSANE
  • dead girl walking reprise: blue chick is pissed
  • i am damaged: gun kid is still crazy but now with explosions
  • seventeen reprise: can we ALL be normal for like two seconds
RE: Alice

[Alice does an acrobatic jump and backflip off a robot to escape an immediate rocket explosion, and critically succeeds.]
Chris: OH MY GOD. ALICE! BASED ALICE!

Chris: Prepare for the Alicing.
Mark: Alice 2: The Re-Alicing.

Mitch(GM): So Alice just killed seven troopers in one turn.
Chris: Halp.
Mark: Alice pls.
Heather: I’m not even surprised at this point.

Chris: That’s it, then. Alice is Satan.