oh my god teams

I see my “Voltron using Earth memes” post and raise you “English is difficult and Coran and Allura don’t understand metaphors.”

~

Lance: “Yeah, I’m up for that!”

Coran: “Why are you up?”

Lance: “Oh, it just means that I’m available to do something!”

Coran: “Oh okay! Earth slang!”

*one week later*

Hunk: “Yeah I’d be down for that!”

Coran: “Why are you down???? Are you all right?!”

Hunk: “Oh no, I’m fine! That just means that I’m available to do something!”

Coran: ???????????????

~

Lance: “Coran, your mustache is on point today!”

Coran, looking around in confusion: “What point? Where is the point my mustache is on?”

~

Pidge, seeing Hunk’s new invention: “Dude! That’s sick!!”

Allura: “It is a machine, is it not? How can it be ill???”

~

*team sees Shiro’s muscles*

Hunk: “Oh my god I’m dead.”

Lance: “Deceased.”

Pidge: “Rip me.”

Keith: “I’ve been stabbed.”

Allura and Coran: “Is this??? Normal??????? To die from attractiveness on Earth??”

~

Hunk, teaching Allura and Coran to write in English: “Good job, Coran, but you spelled ‘eye’ wrong.”

Coran, frowning: “Pidge said it was the single straight letter with the lines on either side.”

Hunk: “That’s ‘I,’ like ‘I went to the store.’ You want ‘eye,’ like your eyeball.”

Allura: “Wait a moment, Lance told me you spelled it ‘aye.’”

Hunk, facepalming: “That’s like…for a pirate. We don’t use that one very often.”

Coran: “English is very confusing.”

Hunk: “Don’t even get me started.”

~

Pidge: “Hunk I would kill someone for this cheesecake you made.”

Coran: *yanks Allura’s cheesecake away and flings it at Pidge*

Pidge, covered in cheesecake: “What just happened”

~

Shiro: “I’ll just be a second, guys.” *comes back ten minutes later*

Hunk: “Give me a sec, Pidge.” *goes to help her five seconds later*

Lance, waking up: “I’ll be out in a sec” *half an hour passes*

Keith: “One sec, let me grab my bayard.” *returns in three minutes*

Pidge: “This program will only take a sec to download.” *finishes 13 hours later*

Allura: “How long???? Is a second????”

Coran: “I have no idea.”

2

OKAY BUT THE FACT THAT WHEN HE SAYS “I LOVE YOU” HE LOOKS AWAY AND HE’S ALMOST SMILING.
LIKE HE KNOWS WHO HE’S SPEAKING TO IN PARTICULAR BUT STILL DOESN’T WANT TO SAY IT DIRECTLY.
AND THEN HE LOOKS UP AND HE ADDS “ALL OF YOU” WHICH IS THE TRUTH, BUT IT’S ALSO NOT WHAT HE REALLY MEANT.

I’m going to stab myself and it will be less painful.

  • Lance: Let's both just agree to say "I'm sorry" on the count of three.
  • Keith: Okay, whatever.
  • Keith and Lance: One, two, three...
  • Lance: ...
  • Keith: ...
  • Lance: Well, now I'm just disappointed in the both of us!
NHL!Bitty, Part XII -  ‘A Stanley Cup Wedding’

The Schooners win game seven and dethrone the defending champion Falconers to claim Seattle’s first national title. 

Eric was definitely not expecting Jack to propose immediately after losing.

(A rework of the ‘Game 7 PVD vs SEA’ prompt that totally retcons some NHL!Bitty stuff, so timeline-wise: the Falconers took the cup Eric’s second year with the Schooners. The Schooners win the following season.)

NHL!Bitty Masterpost




Game Seven. Third period. Eric’s running on adrenaline, blue Gatorade, and rage.

Jack and the rest of the Falconers first line are racing to catch up, but Eric is ‘criminally fast’ (thank you ESPN for the lovely descriptor), and it’s almost too easy to whip the puck to Carter and wait for the siren.

Snowy can’t stop it. The Schooners will win in regulation. 

For a brief, terrifying moment, Eric sees Morin’s breakaway as the death knell of his relationship. He has flashes of Freshman year and he thinks ‘Jack is going to hate me’.

Eric closes his eyes and waits.

Keep reading

percy weasley and oliver wood were in the same year and house at hogwarts, i don’t know why it’s taken me so long to realise this but

  • oh god they would be so annoying to live with
  • both total perfectionists but about different things
  • percy getting annoyed at oliver for revising his quidditch strategy when they had a test tomorrow
  • percy acting smug because he’s head boy, oliver firmly believing that being quidditch captain is much more important
  • oliver happily aiding the twins in their pranks to get his own back at percy for not appreciating how important it is that he wins the cup
  • their dorm mates getting totally fed up of the two of them stressing tirelessly
  • ‘oh my god we have an exam in three weeks i need to revise’ ‘oh my god i have a quidditch match soon and the team is not practicing hard enough’ 

honestly, im surprised that none of the other gryffindor boys smothered them in their sleep

A new take on what Lance can ‘contribute’ to the team!

Alteans have magic.

No one said humans didn’t have magic as well, or that they aren’t compatible with Altean spells.

Consider: Lance finding a way to learn magic. Maybe as everyone is too busy looking for Shiro, or when they found Shiro and everyone is busy with the Blade of Marmora and Lotor and only calling on Lance when he’s needed on a mission, Lance uses his much too free time to explore the castle. Maybe he decides to learn the Altean language to feel a little more useful. Maybe he gets an idea once the program offers him a word for a magic spell to spell out (hah!). Maybe he asks the AI if there’s a program for learning magic. Maybe the AI even has aids for those Alteans who have not yet accessed their magic core, like a magical battery artefact that runs out after a few spells but can be recharged. Maybe he starts learning some spells with those aids, carries a few artefacts around and does small spells on missions to help others. He may or may not be keeping it secret, depending on how Coran and Allura react when he casually asks about the consequences of humans using Altean magic. Maybe after some time he stops needing the aids, possibly drawing on Blue’s quintessence or his own instead, which increases as he keeps ‘flexing’ and ‘training’ it by using magic.

Just… adaptable humans. Humans who can use Altean magic too, because there a boatload of myths about humans using magic and there might just be truth in that. Humans who may be more adept at magic than other humans. Lance being the most magically suited of the team.

Lance, the long-range sharpshooter/magical support.

Lance with Altean magic.

LANCE THE MAGE.

MAGICAL. LANCE.

[ beat you up and beat you down ! ]

– one day they’ll say the throne was made for me.

[ a guzma fanmix with a rock-influenced sound ]

[ LISTEN ] | [ COVER ART BY ME ]

( content warnings: cursing and mentions of violence throughout, alcohol mentions in track 8 )

{1. come on, come on - jet | {2. little cream soda - the white stripes | {3. uncontainable - set it off | {4. breaking the model - new medicine | {5. throne - bring me the horizon | {6. underdog - you me at six | {7. the young & the hopeless - good charlotte | {8. forever stuck in our youth - set it off | {9. i need the world - down with webster | {10. breathe, desperately - from indian lakes

My group spent a full real-life hour arguing in circles over whether our money was communal or not. Like some kind of D&D themed Who’s On First.

Halfling: So our money is communal? Yes?

Everyone: Yes.

Handsome thief: Except [NPC]’s share. So we all get 600 gp.

Halfling: So it’s…not?…communal?

Everyone: No, it is.

Halfling: How is it communal if we have shares?

Me: No, it’s communal, except that we had to divide it in 6 just to get [NPC]’s share. Now that she got hers, it’s back to being communal.

Halfling: Ok…

Cavalier: So how much do we each get?

Halfling: Oh my god.