oh my god take this show away from

  • me two weeks ago : oh my god this show is literally the worst thing that has ever been created, end it now, it's ruining my life and it's not even good
  • me now : *crying on the floor* please don't take pll away from me it's all I have, it's a mess but so am I, I need this show to live
Mobbed & Shaken

Series : Dog Mom Life

Relationship: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Tom is in for a surprise by the reader but after getting off a flight he gets mobbed by fans who shove posters in his face making him feel uneasy.

Word Count:1,800+

A/N:Hopefully you enjoy this new fic, I talk about the situation on the post I linked. I’m really disappointed in the fans that mobbed him though. Have common decency for a human being. Tom being mobbed wtf . This fic is in relation to what happened, and of course adding stuff.


[Tom’s POV]


“Mr. Holland we can get you out of here as quickly as we can” Yawning I nod running my fingers through my hair. Walking out of the gate we make our way towards the front. Once down to the baggage claim a man was carrying mine and Harrison’s bags. Then it hits me all at once when the volume in the building rises from fans screams and excitement.


“Tom please sign this!”


“Tom I love you!”


“TOM!”


    A poster is shoved in my face causing me to stumble backwards. Grabbing the sharpie being shoved in my hand I sign it quickly. More posters are in my face causing me to panic, I’m exhausted from the flight we just took. This was so overwhelming after the flight, I was still waking up  Sighing I sign the ones being waved in my face.


   Harrison tugs me along while the bodyguards make a pathway for us. My bag gets taken to put in the trunk. Getting into the car I close the car as a mob of fans pour out of the airport doors. Harrison gets in letting out a groan resting his head against the rest. Placing my head in my hands as my elbows rest on my knees. Harrison rubs my back causing me to look up.


“You alright mate?”


“I.. I don’t know” I mumble looking out of the window as the car starts to drive.


[Reader’s POV]


“Tom Holland is currently on his way to his hotel room, spotted at the airport just moments ago from our sources” The announcer’s voice on the radio fills the air in your car.


“Can you speed up a bit,I’m not feeling too well” you ask even though you were completely fine. Yet there was a bad feeling in your stomach about Tom getting off this flight. You don’t know if it’s this soon to be mother intuition but you just had a feeling. Placing your hand on your bump rubbing it gently. The driver changes the station to something else after they started talking about something else.


     As the car ride sped by a little quicker you pull out your phone. Smiling at the screensaver of you and Tom on your wedding day. Your screensavers always put a smile on your face when you look at them. Unlocking your phone pulling up Instagram. Clicking the search button the various posts that Instagram thinks you will like pops up. A bunch of pictures of Tom start loading up.


   Setting your phone back in your purse you decide to relax for the rest of the ride. You were bringing Tessa as a surprise to hopefully cheer up Tom. She was excited to  be going on an adventure. Unfortunately you couldn’t stay too long because of your ticket. It was all a surprise that even Harrison was involved in.



Harrison:

We just got to the hotel, see you and Tess soon. Tom’s definitely going to need this,he’s a bit upset.


You:

Is everything okay? What’s going on?


Harrison:

It’s better to talk to Tom about it when you get to the hotel okay?


You:

I’ll be there soon, Tessa is getting restless


“Tessa love, you excited to see Daddy?” you ask as the car pulls up to the hotel. Tessa walks by your feet perching her paws up at the window. Feeling your phone buzz again,you  look at it to see Harrison’s message.


Harrison:

Room 875 ,me 879


    Putting your phone back in your purse,grabbing Tessa’s leash hooking it on her. Opening the door she jumps down onto the ground, her tags jingling. Your suitcase is handed to you by your bodyguard. Tessa looks up at you waiting for you to walk. She pulls with Tom but stopped pulling since you got pregnant.


“Tessa’s here!” a voice shouts making you freeze. Looking up to see a crowd of girls that were heading over quickly.


“Fuck” I mutter walking towards the hotel doors,Tessa quickly walking beside you. Her tail wagging with a happy look on her face.


   Your guard blocking some of the girls that tried shoving their phones in your face. They were desperate heathens trying to take pictures. Feeling a tug you see a girl’s hand on Tessa’s leash. Reaching down slapping the girls hand when she tries taking Tessa’s leash from you. What in her damn mind did she think that’s okay?


Don’t touch her” You snap using a stern tone, Tessa steps in front of you letting out a little growl. The girl lets go stepping away from you and Tessa.


“What in the actual fuck” huffing out in frustration you and Tessa walk in. She lets out a bark that echoes in the hotel. Probably her own way of saying what the fuck.


“Mrs. Holland are you alright?” A man came up to you, he had a gold name tag on. He must be the manager here.


“Could be better but please get a better control of that.. one of them tried taking my husband and I’s dog” Looking back you see the group of girls that turned into a mob.


“Of course we’re terribly sorry, We hope you enjoy your stay” He gives you a small smile which you return one as well. It wasn’t his fault for what happened but knowing it will never change.


“C’mon love let’s head upstairs okay?” Giving a small tug to her leash we head over to the elevators. Clicking the button making it light up,the doors opening.Tessa’s nails click against the flooring as she walks in.The elevator dinged each time it went up a floor. Thankfully the elevators weren’t made of glass so people couldn’t see inside. Pulling out your phone opening up your messages. Sending a quick one once you reach the elevators.


You:

Heading up to the 8th floor, is Tom in his room?


Harrison:

Yeah he just got settle in, how’s Tessa?


You:

Well someone tried taking her and I slapped their hand.


Harrison:

Shit that’s going to be on the internet now lmao


    The elevator speaks saying the floor you’re on now. Looking up to see the doors opening. Tessa steps out looking from side to side. Seeing a sign having arrows underneath numbers. Finding the number range Tom’s room is you head in that direction. Tessa’s nose sniffing on the ground her head perks up. Making it to Tom’s room you knock three times. Tessa sits down in front of the door tail wagging fast. 


“shhh Tessa” You whisper as she looks up at you.


“Coming!” you hear your husband shout through the door, His footsteps are heard as he got closer to the door. A click sound signaling he unlocked the door opening it slowly. 


    The door opens fully to review you and Tessa. Tom’s smile making your heart melt. He pulls you into a massive hug as Tess wraps her leash around the both of you. Holding onto him so you don’t fall over.


“Shit, Tessa hold on love” Tom laughs trying to get us untangled. Once untangled he lets the both of you in. Tom cups your cheeks in his hands pressing his lips against yours. God you’ve missed him and it felt so good to be kissed by him.


“I can’t believe you’re here” his lips peppering kisses all over your face making you giggle. 


“Surprise babe, the three of us were missing you” 


“I’ve missed the three of you terribly… ‘ello love have you been treating you mum well?” Tom kneels down pressing a kiss to your bump. He wraps his arms around your bump resting his cheek against it. He looked so damn adorable as you looked down at him.


“Tom, are you alright though?” You ask running your fingers through his soft curls. He looks up at you then looks away quickly. 


“If you want the truth, I’m actually not” He stands pulling you towards the bed. Walking over to the other side I slip my sandals off then getting into the bed. Tom strips his shirt getting in and laying next to you. His face looking serious and pained,you hated seeing Tom like this.


“So I got mobbed at the airport today.. I normally don’t have a problem with my fans cause I adore them so much for all their support.. But today was the first time I felt overwhelmed.. God I don’t know what to do or how to process this..”


“Well first off you’re going to breathe, you’re alive cause thankfully they didn’t harm you physically.. Mentally this is a lot, you’re a celebrity and it never really ends but you have your family,Tessa and I to get you through it no matter what” you say placing your hand on his cheek he turns his face to kiss your palm. He then pulls you into his warm embrace. Being in his arms calmed you no matter what happened.


“I’m so blessed to have you in my life.. I love you so much darling”  His smile making your heart skip a beat like always.


“More than yesterday?” you ask batting your lashes up at him earning a laugh from Tom. 


“Yes darling, always loving you more and more each day” Tom presses a kiss to your forehead while he rubs your bump. His phone starts buzzing and ringing. Reaching into his pants he pulls out his phone.


“Uh,babe.. did you hit a fan?” he asks showing you a video. It replays showing your hand hitting the girls off of the leash. Oh God it was already on the internet.


“Well in my defense she grabbed onto Tessa’s leash.. No one try’s to take my fur baby away” Tessa jumps on the bed laying down by your legs. Her sweetness shining in her eyes, you loved her so much.


“They grabbed onto her leash?” Tom asks looking at you shocked his eyes going wide. 


“They can hate me all they want, I’m a dog mom first and no one tries to take Tess’s leash from me” 


“I can’t even imagine how you’re going to be when someone is rude to our daughter darling” his chuckle making his chest vibrate.Tessa rolls on her back waiting for a belly rub.


“Yes love, I will protect you with my mum honor if it’s the last thing I do..” leaning over to reach her belly to give it a rub. A happy bark escapes her making you smile.


“Definitely will make them rue the day if they upset our daughter or our dog child” 


“oh bloody hell did you just say rue?!” Tom’s laughter fills the air of the hotel room.


“Oh hush at my word choice but it works!” You push him making him fall out of the bed.


“Fuck! dammit babe” he groans laughing at what just happened.  You enjoyed moments with him like this. Acting silly and being madly in love with each other. Life was perfect because you get through the hardships together. 

BECAUSE WHO DOESN’T LOVE A GOOD SOULMATE AU?

- Names show up on your skin on your birthday. For some people, it comes early; for others, much much later
- Enjolras who hates the idea of soulmates because who is gonna let some stupid shit tattoo tell him who he is and isn’t going to love the rest of his life?
- But his family is still making a big deal out of it like. “It’s your birthday, Enj! That tattoo is gonna show up this year, I just know it! Aren’t you excited?”
- And he’s been faking it all day but he really just wants to l e a v e
- As much as he hates the idea, he can’t help but be a little excited at the weird prickly feeling on his forearm, and he sneaks a peek without letting his family know
- “Combeferre”
- Okay, well, Fate, I hate to break it to you, but Combeferre is and has always been in love with Courfeyrac, and I’m not saying you’re wrong, but you’re totally wrong here
- But then he feels it again on his other arm, and that one says “Courfeyrac” and he’s even more confused
- “I have to go”
- He calls them both on the way out, insists he has to talk with them right away and in person and to meet him at the cafe because this is important
- They all pile in on a back table at the Musain, and Enjolras throws off his coat to show them. Courf can’t help laughing, and Ferre is perplexed
- And then Ferre spots something poking out from under the edge of Enj’s t-shirt sleeve and
- “Well, that’s all well and good, but who the hell is Bahorel?”
- “Oh my god, there’s another one.”
- “Take your shirt off, Enj!”
- His upper arms say “Bahorel” and “Feuilly.” “Joly” and “Bossuet” are on his shoulderblades. His ribs say “Marius.” “Jehan” across his collarbone. “Grantaire” over his heart.

soulmate/soul mate [noun]:

  1. a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament
  2. a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs
klance headcanons no one asked for

OK I’m just doing this bc I love klance OK and klance makes me feel happy so,,,
sorr to anyone who did this before me, this came up suddenly on my mind,,

-lance and keith are on a mission to a planet, and theyre just bickering like old married couples and they just,,,, pine,,,
-when theyre done with that said mission, the team decides to relax and just stay on that planet for a break
-lance and keith both went off to explore. keith comes bc he doesnt want lance to get hurt and bc he has nothing else to do
-when they were exploring, they found a tiny alien girl and Lance fell in LOVE™
-it was more of a “mother-child” love, so keith wasnt entirely that jealous (poor bby)
-lance being that sweet uncle he just takes the alien kid and shows it to keith
lance: KEITTTH LOOK AT THIS TINY ALIEN GIRL I LOVE HERE
keith: lance put it back—NO WAIT COME BACK HERE DONT RUN AWAY FROM ME
-lance spends time with the tiny alien girl a lot so she thinks lance is her dad
lance: youre so CUTE, do you know i love you with all my heart mi cielo—
the alien kid: papa!!!
lance: oh—OH my GOD—you just—IM
-keith doesnt spend as much time with the alien daughter, but he likes her company and will fight anyone who touches her
some alien: can i take her and have a look—
keith: *takes his bayard and aims it at the alien* say that again BITCH
-somehow the alien baby thinks keith as her other father, so she calls him dad or daddy (not in the kinky way, get ur head outta the gutter BINCH)
keith: *plays with the alien baby*
alien kid:!!!! dad!!!
keith:
keith: what
-lance and keith both takes the alien baby back to where she came from and then she calls both Keith and Lance papa and dad and both of them gets flustered
lance: im just saying that id make a good father for this girl
keith: dream on, loser
alien girl: dad!!!! papa!!! *gestures to both of them with a smile*
lance:
keith:
lance, internally: hallelujah motherfuckers
-once they took her back the alien girl keeps on crying and whining and begging her dads so she can come with. then they both found out that the girl was an orphan, keith immediately takes her with him bc he didnt want her to feel like she has no one just like he did after he lost his family. lance denies at first but then he wants her too
lance: keith what are you doing put her back keith—
keith: shes my precious baby girl and i will not hesitate to rip your head off if you try and take her away from me
lance:
lance: well damn i want her too then
-they give her a name. they argue a lot for the name. keith wants to name her godzilla but Lance shrieks and wants to name her cielo
lance: were not naming her after a MONSTER keith
keith: so what godzilla is cool
lance: NO she will be cielo
keith: how about ciella
lance:
lance: well ok—
-both of them try to sneak her in the castle and they succeeded, the hard part was how they should keep her with them without anyone NOTICING. they both proceeds to let her stay in one of their rooms bc no one would be snooping there
lance: OK so maybe ciella can stay in my room then—
keith: lance she stays in my room
lance: no youll just bore her
keith: you dont know what im gonna do to her, she wont be bored
lance: i assume she will be bored, no one wants to see your knife collection and hear your conspiracy theories keith
keith: well im sure she wouldnt like to get her face all covered in weird facemasks and skin care products—
lance: YOU TAKE THAT BACK—
-keith’s attempt to hide ciella is just a poorly made decision. he just takes his blanket and covers her in it.
keith: ok ciella, be good for daddy and stay quiet ok??
ciella, covered by a blanket: sssshhhhh!!!!
keith, smiling: right!!
later…
keith, talking to one of the team: yeah and then—
ciella, still covered in a blanket: *runs to keith and bumps him in the leg* oof!!
one of the team: what the fuck is that
keith, sweating, nervously laughing: idk lol haha weird
Keith, internally: shit
-lance’s attempt is hands down the worst decision he ever made. he decides to just hide her in his jacket.
lance, with ciella inside his jacket: hey guys
hunk: lance you look… different
lance: yup gained some extra weight these past few days
pidge, pointing at a tail that shows on the back of his jacket: you have a tail
lance:
lance:
lance: yea gained that too
keith, from the other side of the room: WHAT THE FUCK—
-the team finally knows that both keith and lance has a baby alien girl. they tease them a lot.
shiro, to keith: looks like youre the older one after all, /sir/
hunk, to lance: aww youre a dad now maybe you can teach me some stuff when I get married
pidge, to keith: i cant believe youre a father now, ew
allura, to lance: dont worry, being a father isnt as hard
coran, crying: MY BLUE PALADIN IS A FATHER, I AM SO PROUD, ALLURA IM—
-keith and lance realises they both love ciella and gain feelings™
-both of them are too oblivious to ask the other one out, eventually lance did the first move and they start dating
-they adopted ciella and have a happy life with her until they die™

Going with Harry to tape the BBC Radio 1 interview with Grimmy (Fluffy af)

Or when you have to keep secret that you filmed a video question for Harry…

“Nervous?” you ask before taking a large bite of toast with butter and jam.

“It’s just a normal chat with Nick,” he wipes the crumbs from your lip before you can swat his hand away, adding, “I’m just nervous for it to air.”

“Yeah, too bad we can’t be on the beach with Nicky when that happens,” you smirk from your perch on one of the tall stools by the breakfast bar.

Harry smacks your thigh lightly from his seat next to you, nearly spitting out his tea. “You know he hates when you call him that,” he tilts his head to the side as his body shakes silently with laughter.

“‘S’why I call ‘im that,” you say with a mouthful of jam.

Keep reading

Sugar, Sugar

A/N: It’s so late and so I will make this quick. Thank you to @celestial-writing for literally helping me cultivate every aspect of this fic. I’d be lost without her. Also, @minhosmeanhoe for throughly editing this for me  and for also being my late night partner in crime.

warnings; none

Word Count: 2876

Originally posted by dylanobrienisbaeee

Keep reading

Oasis

Word count: 3,444
Pairing: Bucky x F!Reader
Warnings: some self-deprecation, a little social anxiety as well? Bucky being a flirt, tooth-rotting, cavity-inducing fluff

A/N: I’ve had this idea for a one shot in my head for a while and I figured I’d take a break from Begin Again to write this out before I lost it. Hope you enjoy xx

You stood in front of the full length mirror making final adjustments to your make up, swiping stray eye liner from the corner of your eye. Tony was throwing another party to keep up public appearances and unfortunately, you felt obliged to go. Tony was your friend and if he was going to suffer, you decided that you would too. 

You were dressed in a tailored dark wine red playsuit with black opaque tights and black heels. It was slim fit, and the neckline rested only a few inches below your neck so it was sophisticated enough but not too stuffy. 

You heard the door open as you threw your eye pencil back into its place when -

‘Doll, are you - hello, gorgeous.’

You rolled your eyes playfully, looking at him in the reflection of the mirror, but blushed. He looked impossibly handsome - broad-chested and dressed in an all-black suit, the only colour coming from his gentle cerulean eyes and full pale lips. His hair was brushed back and you knew you would have trouble concentrating on anything else but him.

‘Turn around, lemme get a look at you.’ His words were meant to sound sultry but there was a near-goofy smile on his face that essentially just described Bucky himself.

You obliged, quirking an eyebrow. ‘I dunno, Barnes, you seemed to be enjoying the other view.’

Bucky flicked you on the forehead playfully. ‘Get your head out of the gutter,’ he smirked, making you giggle, before wrapping his arms around you and kissing you gently. In your heels, you were still a couple inches shorter than him. 

Keep reading

Balls and Baddies #3

Anonymous said:Oh !! Pretty please, can we have ‘balls and baddies’ part three? I’m terrible but I really want to see the hero get humiliated ahahahaha–

Hello you’re blog is amazing. I just recently found it and was scrolling through everything when I saw the “balls and baddies” prompts and drabble. Can you maybe write more? Please? If you have time of course

See here for the previous.


The hero woke up an indeterminable time later and was promptly convinced that staying unconscious would have been a much better option all round. 

“Ah,” the villain said. “Sleeping beauty rejoins me at last.” 

In the end, they’d begged. It was strange. They could have stomached the pain; but the humiliation, the public spectacle of it, was more than they could bear. They could hardly stand to look at the villain now so it was just as well that their limbs were as useless as wet paper. 

They could taste dirt and grit and champagne in their mouth from where they’d bent over to kiss the villain’s shoe - as if saying please wasn’t bad enough. 

Their stomach heaved and they closed their eyes again. 

“You should have just said please when I first asked,” the villain said, unsympathetic to the hero’s shudder. “Or not come to a party uninvited. You’ve really only got yourself to blame for this one.” 

The villain stretched out a foot, lazily, from the armchair they’d pulled up by the bed and tapped beneath the hero’s chin with their shoe to turn their head in the right direction. 

The hero’s stomach cramped again. Their fingers twitched, to draw a blanket over their exposed skin - anything to not feel quite so vulnerable. Unfortunately, sluggish twitching was all that they could currently manage. They gave the villain a look, somewhere between desperately hateful and desperately pleading again. 

The villain shrugged. “Are you telling me you wouldn’t jump straight out of bed onto your bad knee if you had the chance? You should be thanking me, some of the others wanted to keep going.”

“I’m sure you didn’t stop them for my benefit. Blanket, do you mind?” 

“Not particularly,” the villain said. 

The hero’s teeth gritted. 

“Perhaps,” the villain flashed them a smile. “You should try asking more nicely.” 

God, it was too much to even have some basic human dignity here, wasn’t it? And yet, it was better without an audience. If fractionally. “Please,” the hero bit out, exhausted already. “Can I have a blanket? It’s fucking cold in here.”

The villain raised their brows but tossed one over them, entirely too self-satisfied. “See, I knew you’d be good at this with some practice. Still a bit to go, of course, but I’m sure we’ll have your pride thoroughly shattered soon enough. Just like you suggested.”

Just like you suggested - as if that didn’t make it a bigger smack in the face. 

“If you think embarrassment will stop me fighting you, you’re wrong.”

“Oh, I don’t,” the villain said. “But I want you to have a good, long think about your arrogance.” 

“My arrogance.”

“What kind of idiot comes to an enemy party without back up? Without, it seems, a back up plan? Your pride is off the charts. You would literally rather be beat up at the mercy of those who mean you harm than quietly bend the knee and avoid a scene. Heroes always seem to want scenes and public spectacles. It’s a real character flaw, you should work on it.”

“I don’t think you get to lecture me about character flaws,” the hero snapped. “Just because you’re a slimy snake who’s never spent a day operating out of the shadows.”

“Lecturing you seems only fair when you keep imposing yourself on my business over and over and over again - I don’t remember asking for your opinion on the matter, either.” The villain sighed, and shook their head. They swung their shoe down and leaned in instead, hands planting on either side of the hero’s head. “Pride is hopelessly easy to take away from someone, and your pride is a game I’ll win every time. Rest up, hero,” their lip curled mocking at the epithet. “We’ve got your beloved city to give a show to next.” 

Oh, god. 

|| anything for you ||

[request prompt: Um hello! I was wondering if you could write a Peter x plus size/chubby reader? The reader always stands up for him against the bullies only to go on to say pretty mean things about herself. Maybe Peter doesn’t mind that she’s bigger than him, maybe he finds her cute and soft? Idk I’m sorry. I’m just having a crummy day where I’m having trouble loving my body 😞]

here’s a very relatable story ❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙 we all have our crummy days, but I just hope you all know that we’re all just different types of beautiful ♡

You don’t have to be any other way than what you are to be known as beautiful ♡

tags [permanent + peter parker]: @ghostedwolf , @lovelybaka , @animexchocolate, @psychicwitchphilosopher , @pharaohkiller , @moonlight53 , @literatureandimmature, @daydr3ams-away, @wannabe-weasley , @mcusebstan , @tmrhollandkay , @pepcvina , @nekonerdxox , @lokigirl18 , @fangeekkk , @kylielo22 , @wavy-ley , @lghockey , @buckysendoftheline , @1022bridgetp , @potterjamesharry , @aenna-4 , @mcheung0314 , @samanthasmileys , @melconnor2007 , @wingsanddarkness

**please don’t repost/plagiarize this story. Reblogs are fine**

——

Keep reading

3

Season 7, Time for a Wedding.

Dean x Reader, Sam x Reader.

 A/N: This fic was written for Michelle’s 2k Follower Challenge. My quote was “Of course I didn’t leave it alone. Sue me.”

Summary: You have been hunting with the Winchesters for practically all your life, which makes you a co-protagonist in the supernatural books. There aren’t too many problems with that until you find out that Becky ships you and Sam together. And she’s loud about this particular hobby too, so loud in fact that your longtime boyfriend Dean might not stand her very much. But, whatever, right? Ships are harmless, or they are usually. They’re not anymore when she decides it’s time for hers to become canon, with a long-awaited (in her opinion) wedding.

Word Count: 3600+

Tags: @luci-in-trenchcoats @mrswhozeewhatsis @daydreamingintheimpala @driverpicksthemuusic @mysoul4dean  @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @1dstudyblr @bitch-i-am-a-dean-girl @amoreagron @spnfangirl1965 @aristtewinchesterholmes @thisisthelilith @chelsea072498 @skymoonandstardust @apeshit7x  @aiaranradnay @anokhi07 @tatortot2701 

Keep reading

Playing

Pairing: Sam x female reader

Summary: How can you play hard to get if you think you’re hard to want?

Warnings: smut, slight dom!Sam, cussing, flirting

Word Count: 4,430

A/N: This was originally supposed to be posted on my birthday, but I never got around to it and a month later, I finally have time. So enjoy the smut and enjoy the story as well ;)


“Hey nerd,” Dean called out as he walked into the library of the bunker.

“I’m not a nerd! I’m just smart,” you exclaimed as you tried to defend yourself. You had been working for the past two days on a case that you found yourself. Dean and Sam had left to clean out a vampire’s nest and left you in charge of finding their next case.

“Yeah. Nerds are smart. Why else do you think I call Sammy a nerd?” Dean laughed and set his duffel bag on the table.

Your wondering thoughts made your eyes wander around the entrance of the library, searching for the large man who you always had a thing for.

Keep reading

Don't Act Like Your July 4th Ain't Like This Every Year
  • Patriot: Son, come into my office. I've got something to show you.
  • Son: *coyly walks into office* Yeah, dad.
  • Patriot: Do you know what day it is, son?
  • Son: Tuesday.
  • Patriot: No, son... well, yes, but there's more to it than that. It's Stars 'N' Stripes day, son. Do you know what that means?
  • Son: *shrugs*
  • Patriot: It's the day our beautiful country broke away from the incredibly far-left tyranny of the British monarchy and took the first step towards becoming the greatest country on god's earth.
  • Son: Oh, word.
  • Patriot: Yes, son, absolutely word. Now, take a look at this. *pulls box from under his desk and places in on table* What do you think this is?
  • Son: A box with crazy colors.
  • Patriot: No, son... well, yes, but the colors on this box all represent something. The red represents the blood of those who sacrificed themselves for our beautiful country, the white represents uhh...
  • Son: Cum!
  • Patriot: Boy, I have it in me to pop you if you keep saying nonsense like that!
  • Son: *snickers*
  • Patriot: No, the white does not represent... that substance. It represents uhh, the snow that tops the great mountains that you can find in certain parts of our beautiful country. And the blue represents the ocean, which we of course have national ownership over.
  • Son: Wow, interesting.
  • Patriot: It's more than interesting, son. It's everything that I stand for. What your forefathers stood for, and what your children too will stand for. Now, take a look at what's inside this box, son. *pops open the box* What do you think of that?
  • Son: Ooh... well, I like the silky velvet lining.
  • Patriot: Hmm?
  • Son: There's really nice lining on the inside of the box.
  • Patriot: What are you talking about? *turns box around* Well, Andrew Jackson be damned! There's nothing in this box! Boy, did you take what was inside of this box?
  • Son: No, this is the first time I even saw the thing.
  • Patriot: *red with anger* Argh! Calm down. Calm down... breathe easy. Well, son. What was supposed to be in this box was the flag of our country. The same flag that your great grandfather flew in the big war as he bayoneted some sausage twirling Kraut in the neck.
  • Son: That's messed up.
  • Patriot: It's not messed up, he was defending our country! You know what, son. I'll discuss this with you later once I find where that god damn flag. Go check on your grandpa for me, son.
  • Son: Do I have to? Grandpa's weird.
  • Patriot: By Lincoln's glory, you young folks really have no respect. Your grandpa, while not a veteran or anyone of significant importance - unlike the men on my mother's side of the family - ran a car dealership for 42 years before retiring and using all of his savings to buy us this beautiful house in which we still live. You will check on him and pay respect to him on this blessed Stars 'N' Stripes day, or so help me god I'll... I'll... just get, boy!
  • Son: Jeez, alright. *trots down the hallways and peaks into granpda's room* Hey, grandpa. I'm here to check on you.
  • Grandpa: *rocking back and forth in his chair* Marybeth? Marybeth is that you, dear?
  • Son: No, granpda. It's me, your grandson. Do you remember me?
  • Grandpa: Oh, dear. You sound just like my Marybeth.
  • Son: Grandma's dead, grandpa.
  • Grandpa: What was that, sweetheart? I can't quite hear you. I think it's the television. It's too loud.
  • Television: *silently displaying white noise*
  • Grandpa: Too loud... I've been watching this movie for too long and now it sounds just like the rumbling of the earth.
  • Son: Grandpa, what are you wrapped in? Is that a flag.
  • Grandpa: It was Marybeth's paw's flag.
  • Son: You took dad's flag. He's gonna be mad at you.
  • Grandpa: I didn't take no flag. The flag took me, just like it took Marybeth and her paw. *stands up, kneels in front son, pull's son's face close to his* Look into my eyes, little Marybeth. What do you see?
  • Son: That's... that's impossible. It's like staring into a void of red, white, and blue. What is this?
  • Grandpa: An infinite amount of graves for an infinite amount of souls. The final resting place for an ideology that stands above and beyond humanity. It's stars and stripes forever and ever.
  • Son: *pulls himself from grandpa's gaze* You're acting crazy again, I'm telling dad! *runs from grandpa's room* Dad!
  • Patriot: *steps from his room with a gun* Freemasonry, son.
  • Son: Dad, Grandpa's gone crazy again. He's doing weird things with his eyes.
  • Patriot: It's freemasonry, son.
  • Son: Huh?
  • Patriot: You'll learn soon enough. *shoots son in the chest*
  • Son: *clutches wound and breathes heavily*
  • Patriot: Sorry about that, son. But, it was all a part of today's plan. It's freemasonry, or some call it communism or witchcraft. But in the end, it's all the same thing. I hate it for the life of me. It's unpatriotic, but it runs in our family like a damn disease. You know how furious I got. I got so furious when I saw your grandmother running off to her "gatherings", getting up to god knows what and with who. I would've shot the lady like I just did you if I didn't see it, son. Those stars and stripes going on forever and ever. Vibrating and twisting in that graveyard of ideology. Do you see it now, son? Even clearer than before? Tell me, do you see it?
  • Son: *cough up blood* I see... mom in the mirror. No, it's grandma, and I'm her. She's young... my age.
  • Daughter: ...Huh. I must've zone out for a moment. That was weird.
  • Patriot: *call from his office* Little Marybeth, come into my office. I've got something to show you.
  • Daughter: *coyly walks into office* Yeah, dad?
  • Patriot: Do you know what day it is, Little Marybeth.
  • Daughter: It's Star 'N' Stripes day!
  • Patriot: *rubs daughter's head* Ah, that's my girl. Just as good as your mom. You see that flag hanging on my wall.
  • Daughter: Mhmm, that's that the flag of our country.
  • Patriot: No, it's not. It may look like the flag of our country, but it represents something far greater. An ideology beyond ideologies. One so great that it trumps all other rules of existence.
  • Daughter: What ideology is it, dad?
  • Patriot: I can't quite put it into words. But, I can tell you, Little Marybeth, that the first time I became aware of it was when I bayoneted some damn sausage twirling Kraut right in the neck. I stomped on his neck afterwards so he couldn't even struggle to breath before he died. I saw it then. The stars and stripes of the false flag I carried upon my back reflecting in his eyes, and I knew then that one truth; that one real ideology. But, like I said, I can't really put it into words. All I can tell you is that we ain't worth shit, Little Marybeth. Not you, not me, not your mom. None of us.
  • Daughter: That's kinda messed up dad.
  • Patriot: Well, life's messed up, dear.
Contrast

Ethan Dolan x Reader #1

Warnings: noooonnnneee :)

Word Count: 1103

Note: i loooovvveeee this AU, so I figured it be the perfect on to start on ~ K

[ masterlist

#1 for AU April: Florist x Tattoo Artist 

(gif creds to @jaredpadaleckis

—————————————————

It was ironic, and someone’s poor planning, had somehow lead to her flower shop was right next door to his tattoo parlor. As if by some wave of fate’s wand the two had met on the strangest of circumstances.

For him, she was a constant. She was never late, and each day when it came to him opening his doors, she was already there watering the fresh flowers on her windowsill. She’d always say good morning and ask if he had any fun appointments for the day. She never seemed to get down and when she did, it was never for the public eye to see.

For her, he was a mystery. He was always rushing to his door with a wave at her. He’d always ask her for a ‘flower of the day’ and when she had asked him why he simply said: “because you look cute when you talk about flowers”. He was amazing at tattoos, and each person that left his shop were filled with smiles, yet he didn’t have any visible himself.

For the both of them, it was only a matter of time until they got together.

They made perfect sense….

Keep reading

I’m pretty sure the first time Magnus surprise-attacked Lucretia she screamed and accidentally stabbed him with her penknife. She was mortified but he thought it was the coolest thing she’d ever done and kept bragging about it to the rest of the crew.

Magnus: Hey Merle! Take a break from your shitty crafts and check this out! Lucretia stabbed me!
Merle: … So … do you want a healing, or … ?
Magnus: Are you kidding?! I need to let this baby scar! Look how cool it is!
Lucretia, very quietly in the background: i didn’t mean to i’m sorry oh my god stop showing everyone

Magnus: Hey Lup! I tried to sneak up on Lucretia and she stabbed me!
Lup: Wow, Luci, that’s super rad! High five!
Lucretia, hiding in her robe: *very tentatively returns the high five and then runs away*

Knock

Originally posted by baekintime

Summary: JYP & SM have a collaboration but it ends up being much more than that 

Disclaimer: All the things that are mentioned in this are words of fiction aka it’s not real. I’ve literally just made this up and as always credits to @baekintime for the gif

Member: Yixing from EXO x fem reader

Rating: Mature

Words: 1778

Note: this was inspired by NASTY NASTY’s KNOCK

Keep reading

BarberShop (IronPool)

@ajanamyth

 I hope you like it!

**************************

THIS is the song they perform!

*********************

“Wade.” Tony put his tabled down and rubbed his eyes wearily. “What in the actual fu–”

“No no. Swearing in front of a barbershop quartet is like swearing in front of a choir. Totally naughty.” Wade, in full Deadpool regalia parked his admittedly fine toned ass on top of Tony’s desk, hands clasped in his lap eagerly as the four men in matching suits and snazzy bow ties arranged themselves in a semi circle.

“No wait–” Tony held up his hand. “Sorry guys, but wait. Wade, seriously what the hell.”

“The hell is that I’ve been trying to get your attention for months now and you’ve been ignoring me.”

“You are literally impossible to ignore.”

“Well you must be super man then, because you’ve been ignoring me and honestly it’s hurting my feelings.”

“So you hired a barbershop quartet to invade my lab and irritate me with– no offense guys– irritate me with annoying songs?”

“So rude.” Wade sounded offended. “I picked out a great song for you. Take it away, boys.”

The men gathered closer, found their pitch, and began to sing.

Well I guess it would be nice
If I could touch your body
I know not everybody
Has got a body like you, uhh”

“George Michael? Seriously?”

“George Michael was a hero, so watch your tone. And I felt like this song was particularly appropriate for us. Especially those first few lines.”

“But I’ve got to think twice
Before I give my heart away
And I know all the games you play
Because I play them too”

“Do I need to think twice about giving my heart away to you, Tony? You gonna play a game with me?”

“Oh my god.” Tony couldn’t help his smile, and folded his arms, trying to hide his laughter. “Honestly Wade. I swear—”

“Oh but I
Need some time off from that emotion
Time to pick my heart up off the floor
Oh when that love comes down
Without devotion
Well it takes a strong man, baby
But I’m showing you the door”

“I can’t handle wanting time with you, and you just being mean about it.” Wade pouted. “Why you gotta be like that Tony?”

“So you want time with–”

Naked time.”

“–time with me?”

“Well yeah.”

“You could have just asked.”

“Oh. That actually didn’t occur to me.”

“'Cause I gotta have faith
I gotta faith
Because I gotta to have faith faith
I gotta to have faith, faith, faith”

“I wouldn’t mind time with you.”

Naked time?”

Tony finally laughed, leaning back in his chair and making a motion in Wade’s direction. “We can talk about naked time.”

“Oh thank god.” Wade jumped off the desk and right into Tony’s lap, grinning under his mask when the beautiful genius huffed under his two hundred plus pounds. “I was going to get really obvious here in a few days.”

“The barbershop quartet wasn’t obvious?”

“Do you know me at all? Things could have gotten really really weird, Stark.”

“Yeah well, how about you get your ass off of me before you crush me.”

“Sorry.” Wade didn’t move though and Tony couldn’t do anything but laugh about it was the quartet finished their song.

Before this river
Becomes an ocean
Before you throw my heart back on the floor
Oh baby I reconsider
My foolish notion
Well I need someone to hold me
But I wait for something more
‘Cause I’ve gotta have faith
Unh I gotta faith
Because I gotta to have faith, faith, faith
I gotta to have faith, faith, faith”

“So this song is actually about him leaving someone for someone else, not about—”

“Shhhh.” Wade hushed him. “It’s fine. Nobody cares about that.”

Chubby GF-Lee Minhyuk

(for anon)

-has said before that he would like a chubby gf so he’d be absolutely in love with you.

-staring at you all the time with nothing but love and lust in his eyes.

-always touching your body in some way.

-public and private.

-literally stares down anyone who looks at you too long until they look away.

-always dragging you into Victoria’s secret for sexy outfits to show off those curves in bed.

-“how do I look babe?”

-“I’ve never seen such beauty, oh my god.”

-always takes pictures of the two of you together bc he genuinely loves the way you look.

-always tells the guys to look away from you when you’re around.

-“stop staring!”

-“I’m saying hi Minhyuk shut up!”

-loves you more than anything in the world.

5

            ❀◕ ‿ ◕❀ ❝ Marco Islø Imagine❞  ❀◕ ‿ ◕❀

  (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧Cause he’s the cuddliest viking ≧◡≦


⇏ ⇏ Imagine ⇏ ⇏ 

       Marco has broken his phone while out filming the next season of Vikings. Of course reason being he and Alex were horsing around and Marco’s phone was the causality of said tomfoolery. 

BUT…….

It won’t be another week and a half until he comes back home to see you and obviously get a new phone. Leaving you two without any real form of contact for the next eleven days.

·•● Alex to the RESCUE! ●•·

◖With elven days to go Alex takes it upon himself to ‘Mockumentary’ Marco for the week and a half with his own phone so you don’t miss out on one moment of your sweet Marco’s life!◗

This of course being a bad idea. Because it’s Alex ಠ_ಠ


“You don’t think this is a bad idea?” Marco shifted uncomfortable in his shoes while Alex expounded on his idea to the security guard.

“No way! Y/N will think its funny!” Over zealous about the entire thing Alex pestered the security guard nearly all day to do this stunt, “Now c’mon, sell it! Make it look like you’re getting arrested!!”

Skeptical it still didn’t take much coaxing from Alex to get Marco to oblige. Snickering from the other male as he posed to take a snapshot of himself ‘witnessing’ his friend get arrested on set. 

“Look terrified Y/N will laugh harder!” Alex cackled, trying to hold it together and not break the stern look of horror he channeled.

“Did you get it?” Marco asked, face smushed into the hood of the black SUV.

“I did! I did I’m sending it now!” snickering to himself Alex dodged from Marco’s prying eyes when his friend came over.

“What did she say?? Show me!” Attempting to take the phone Marco loomed over Alex with intent to steal the phone.

“Oh my god she bought it!” Alex busts up laughing.

“What?!” Marco shrieks, eyes wide as dinner plates.

Palming his face Alex does his best to control his fits while shoving the phone to his friend, “She really thinks you got arrested!!!”

“What?! Why would you say that!?” Apalled by the text sent with the photos Marco snatches the phone away in a panic, “Why do I let you talk me into this crap?!” 


◈◈◈ Hopefully it wasn’t too crappy. Cuz lets be honest Alex looks like he talks Marco into shit ◈◈◈

¬_¬   That’ll be all   ¬_¬

suspicious

pairing; jimin x reader.

raiting; fluff + comedy.

word count; 800.

♡ can you hear that guys? that’s me sobbing on the floor bc i miss black haired jimin so much. anyway, thank u for requesting, hope u like it!

It only takes a second for everybody to clear the halls for him as he’s walking by. His black hair is partially pushed back and his forehead is showing. Hye gasps, grabbing your arm with way too much strength, “Yah, let go”, your best friend ignores you totally and is suddenly quiet. Actually, the whole hall is quiet, “(Y/N), look. Look. He dyed his hair. Oh my god, he looks even more… oh my god, he’s looking our way”, you don’t even know what she’s talking about until you turn away from your locker, “Ah, for fuck sakes. I thought it was more important”, you just don’t understand what’s so special about this Park Jimin guy. You’re not stupid to not see that he’s incredibly handsome, but it’s just very confusing to you why everyone is so afraid of him. You wished you could liberate yourself from the doubt but is it that worth it? Probably not. Jimin passes right by you the exact same moment you turn around again reaching for the books on top of the locker row and you think you had caught him looking at you by the corner of his eye but you decide to ignore it as well. Yet, you couldn’t let go the idea of knowing about this obsession everyone had with Jimin and for the next periods before recess, your notes were soon forgotten while your head was going crazy about this new mystery. You were so infatuated with your thoughts that you hadn’t even notice you actually shared your first few classes with him and while you did random stupid drawings on your notebook he was looking at you the whole from the back of the room. Jimin found you quite… interesting.

 And although you didn’t want to accept it, you found him quite interesting too. At your eyes he didn’t seem that intimidating. He probably was just a serious guy that was not very bond of socializing and everybody was dumb enough to put him in a box so quickly. I mean, what were the odds of him being an actual serial killer? You were all in a very prestigious private school so it wouldn’t be logical for the school personnel to admit someone way too problematic. Or maybe he was problematic but had way too much money to be rejected. Or maybe he’s not any of those, but actually mute. Goddammit. Fuck it.

 Hye looks at you confused at first, and then panicked. She knows what you’re about to do the second you take your food trail and stand up, leaving your table and walking towards the dark corner of the cafeteria. You hear her calling your name half screaming half whispering and suddenly all the attention is on you. This girl must be stupid. But you’re not.

 You just want to know the truth.

 Jimin looks away from his food and to your direction slowly, following your every step. He keeps munching on his club sandwich with this unbothered semblance and waits for you to stop moving before he can say anything. However, you are faster than him, “Can I sit here?”, he stays silent for a second and then giggles, “You’re already sitting there so I guess so”, you smile back. Was this really the same guy they all feared?, “So tell me”, you say again, taking a fool spoon of rice in your mouth, “Did you try to kill the principal? Is that why everybody is so afraid of you?”, at this point Jimin is fully bursting in laughter and you can’t help but notice that he looks absolutely cute when he completely closes his eyes while doing that, “I couldn’t possibly kill my own father, you know?”, oh, oh. So that was it. How didn’t you think about that? Well, it really wasn’t that obvious but of course it was a believable possibility, “I guess I just look like an asshole” “And you have black hair now”, “Wise decision, I know”, it’s now your turn to laugh, while Jimin looks at you totally amused, “It’s just better this way. You know, not talking to anyone. I mean, if you were in my spot how do you think everyone would treat you, the daughter of the principal? Either they would kiss your ass or hate you for nothing”, his point is so valid that you actually start feeling bad for him and give him this apologetic look, “I certainly wouldn’t hate you. And definitely wouldn’t kiss your ass. You’re interesting”, Jimin concentrates on his for a while before lifting his head again and pointing at you, “You’re interesting too. A weird girl, I like it”, and your smile is so big now because, for real though, how could anyone be scared of this amazing human being?

when to stop waiting

genre: fluff, angst
word count: 4,386
member: joshua
summary: college sucks, but then there’s him.
note: happy birthday @seventeen-requests 💕🎉

Originally posted by visual-17

1st year

It is a well-established truth that high school, for anyone, is shit.

What they don’t tell you, however, is that the promise land of college is also equally as shit.

A crisp breeze seeped into your skin like ice water as you withdrew further into an old sweatshirt, the sleeves already dampened as you furiously rubbed away the tears escaping from red-rimmed eyes. Your bag was thrown haphazardly next to you, obscuring the proudly etched “donated by the class of 1971” on the worn stone bench. Before you stretched out the gothic-styled towers and arches of West Campus, and beyond that, the rusty reds and browns of autumn around a picturesque blue lake. But here you sat, in the shadow of the building of the English department, trying to calm your breathing as you clutched onto crumpled pieces of paper.

Put that in a college brochure, you thought bitterly.

Keep reading