oh my god someone make me do stuff

Angsty Bojack Horseman Sentence Starters
  • “The most important thing is, you got to give the people what they want, even if it kills you.”
  • “You know, sometimes I feel like I was born with a leak, and any goodness I started with just slowly spilled out of me.”

  • “Life is a series of closing doors, isn’t it?”

  • “Am I a good person?”

  • “That’s the problem with life, either you know what you want and you don’t get what you want, or you get what you want and then you don’t know what you want.“ 

  • “There’s nothing for you behind you. All that exists is what’s ahead." 

  • "Family is a sinkhole, and you were right to get out when you had the chance." 

  • “I don’t understand how people… live. It’s amazing to me that people wake up every morning and say: ‘Yeah, another day, let’s do it.’ How do people do it? I don’t know how.” 

  • “You didn’t know me and then you fell in love with me. And now you know me.” 

  • “Closure is a made up thing by Steven Spielberg to sell movie tickets”.

  • “We’re just two lonely people trying to hate ourselves a little less.” 

  • “I don’t think I believe in ‘deep down’. I think that all you are is just the things that you do.”

  • “You were born broken, that’s your birthright.”

  • “You know what your problem is? You want to think of yourself as the good guy.”

  • “you’re a selfish goddamn coward who just takes whatever he wants and doesn’t give a shit about who he hurts. That’s you.”

  • “You know, it’s funny… when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.”

  • “I’m sorry, alright? I screwed up, I- I know I screwed up.”

  • “You can’t keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay! You need to be better!”

  • “You are all the things that are wrong with you.”

  • “Fuck, man. What else is there to say?”

  • “We’re not doomed. In the great, grand scheme of things, we’re just tiny specks that will one day be forgotten.”

  • “The only thing that matters is right now, this moment, this one spectacular moment we are sharing together.”

  • “I don’t understand how people… live. It’s amazing to me that people wake up every morning and say: ‘Yeah, another day, let’s do it.’ How do people do it? I don’t know how.”

  • “He’s so stupid he doesn’t realize how miserable he should be. I envy that.”

  • “It’s not about being happy, that is the thing. I’m just trying to get through each day.”

  • “I can’t keep asking myself ‘Am I happy?’ It just makes me more miserable.”

  • “It takes a long time to realize how truly miserable you are and even longer to see it doesn’t have to be that way.”

  • “When you do bad things, you have something you can point to when people eventually leave you. It’s not you, you tell yourself. It’s that bad thing you did.”

  • “It’s so cruel to let people love you. All you’re doing is promising you’ll one day break their hearts.”

  • “One day, you’re gonna look around and you’re going to realize that everybody loves you, but nobody likes you. And that is the loneliest feeling in the world.”

  • “There are some people you can’t save. Cause those people will thrash and struggle, and try to take you down with them.”
  • “ Hey, I wanted to talk to you about… you know. I feel bad about what happened.”
  • “I don’t forgive you.”
  • “No. I’m not gonna give you closure. You don’t get that. You have to live with the shitty thing you did for the rest of your life. You have to know that it’s never, ever going to be okay!”
  • “You have to believe me. I did everything I could.”
  • “I had a good life, but what I needed then was a friend! And you abandoned me. And I will never forgive you for that.”
  • “Now get the fuck out of my house!”
  • “ Look, I’m sorry about all the stuff I said about you earlier.”
  • “Do you… do you think it’s too late for me? I mean, am, am, am I just doomed to be the person that I am? “
  • “I, I, I need you to tell me that I’m a good person.”
  • “I just wanted to tell you that I know. I know you want to be happy, but you won’t be… and I’m sorry.”
  • “ What more do you want? What else could the universe possibly owe you? “
  • “I want to feel good about myself. The way you do. And I don’t know how. I don’t know if I can.”
  • “If you ever try to contact me or my family again, I will fucking kill you.”
  • “ You can’t just disappear. You really hurt a lot of people.”
  • “In this terrifying world, all we have are the connections that we make.”
  • “It’s so sad that when you see someone as they really are, it ruins them.”
  • “You like being there to rescue me. Because it makes you feel good about yourself.”
  • “ You know that I don’t do the whole love thing. Either you end up hurting someone or they hurt you. So what’s the point?”
  • “ Uh…. Oh, god, I’m drowning. I feel like I’m drowning.”
  • “Hey, we have all done shitty stuff before. Most of us aren’t as proud of it as you seem to be.”
  • “It doesn’t get better and it doesn’t get easier.”
  • “I can’t keep lying to myself thinking I’m gonna change, I’m poison.”
  • “I come from poison and I have poison inside me and I destroy everything I touch. That’s my legacy.”
  • “I have nothing to show for the life I have lived. And I have nobody in my life who’s better off for having known me.”
  • “You’re gonna wanna kill yourself, and there’s going to be no one left to stop you.” 
I knew It - Theo Raeken Imagine

As I walked into school I felt everyone’s eyes on me. During the weekend my best friend Lydia threw a party, I got really drunk and confessed my love for Theo in front of everyone. 

*flashback to Saturday*

“Can I get everyone’s attention” I spoke on the microphone that I had taken away from the DJ.

“Y/N give me the microphone” Lydia said trying to take it away from me.

“No Lydia I’m fine just let me talk please”

“Oh you are so going to regret this”

“Okay listen everyone I just wanted to let you guys know that I am in love with that guy right there standing by the punch bowl” I said pointing at Theo who clearly looked shocked and confused at the same time. 

“Y/N c’mon let’s go” Scott and Stiles pulled me away from the microphone and led me to Stiles’ jeep.

*flashback ends*

As soon as I reached my locker I saw someone waiting for me and there he was, Theo Raeken, I hadn’t seen him since Saturday and literally wanted to die on the spot right then and there.

“What do you want Raeken?” I asked clearly embarrassed trying to get my books as fast as I could so I could leave.

“Listen, about Saturday-” he started and I groaned covering my face with my locker

“Please don’t say anything, I was drunk and I wasn’t thinking clear” I said reaching for my books and closing the locker door.

“I was actually going to ask if maybe you’d like to go on a date?” He asked me

I looked at him a bit taken back and then said “Is this some kind of joke? Or maybe even a bet? because I don’t even like you” clearly lying.

“This isn’t a joke or a bet and I know you like me because you confessed it in front of the whole school, plus I’m a werewolf I can hear your heartbeat” 

I looked at him and walked away without giving him an answer.

“So you’ll think about it?” he yelled across the hall but I disappeared within the groups of students.


I walked into first period with Mr. Douglas, found my seat and immediately put my head down waiting for this day to end when I feel someone sit next to me at the lab. I looked up and it was Lydia.

“Good morning Y/N” 

“Good morning Lyds”

“So have you seen Theo” she asked me 

“Yes I did this morning actually he was waiting for me at my locker”

“Really? What did he say?” she said looking at me anxiously

“He asked me out on a date, I asked him if he was joking he said no and I walked away”

“Wait he asked you out and you walked away? Did you say yes or did you just leave?”

“I just left and tried to walk as fast as could to get out of that uncomfortable situation”

“Y/N are you an idiot? He asked you out! I think he likes you” 

“I don’t know I just don’t want to get hurt if he’s joking”

“I don’t think he’s joking” 


After a couple of classes it was finally lunch. I met up with Stiles, Scott, Lydia, Malia, Liam and Mason.

“So Y/N how was your hangover on Sunday?” Stiles asked with a smirk being an asshole as always 

“Not so bad” I replied sarcastically 

“Cut her some slack she’s been through hell this morning with Theo asking her out” Lydia said

“He asked you out?” everyone at the table asked in a very loud tone

“Shut up! yes he did but I didn’t even give him an answer”

“Y/N he’s evil” Stiles said 

“HE almost killed me” Scott said 

“I’m going to kill him” Malia said with her eyes turning the shade of blue meaning she was turning.

“Malia your eyes” I lowly yelled at her 

“I really like him and he obviously knows because I announced it-” I was going to finish but then I was interrupted by Theo who was standing on a lunch table asking for everyone’s attention

“oh my god” I whispered

“yay” I heard lydia say 

“Excuse me everyone… I have an announcement to make” as soon as he said that I quickly grabbed my stuff in attempt to try and leave but felt my arm get tugged back by Lydia 

“A lot of you already know this but someone confessed their love for me on Saturday at Lydia’s party” I felt everyone turn to me “Now it’s my turn to do the same because I fell in love with this girl the first day that I saw her in the hallway… her smile lit up the entire room, when she said she loved me I honestly couldn’t believe someone like her could like me, someone who’s kind, caring, fun and outgoing” I felt my heart flutter “ I guess what I’m trying to say is Y/N I love you, I’m really glad you said something because if you hadn’t I wouldn’t of had the guts to do the same, Will you be my girlfriend?” 

He stood there waiting for an answer and so did everyone else in the cafeteria. My friends looked at me and I had never felt so much pressure in my life.

“Yes” I replied smiling like crazy 

He came down off the table and kissed me passionately as we pulled apart he smiled at me and said “I knew it”

“You knew what?” I asked 

“That you love me” he said and pulled me in for another kiss.

—————————————————————————————————-

I haven’t written in such a long time, I hope you guys like it! Requests are open! I write imagines for Teen Wolf, Shameless, and the old Magcon boys!

Tag Team

Prompt: Request for something fluffy and/or smutty with Dennis and Barry from the movie Split

Word Count: 1827

Warning: language, smut (18+), fluffiness

Note: This was written for @fandomstoryteller I hope I delivered, dollface! It’s not beta’d so all mistakes are mine. It also is one of the first-ish cracks at smut for me, so be gentle

~~~~~~

“What do you think of this?” Barry asked as he leaned over and showed you a design.

“Oh, I love the way the pant leg flows,” you commented nicely.

“How’s your dress line coming?” he wondered as he took his sketch pad back and started to work some more.

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Star Trek: DS9 Notes - S6, Vol. 5

Hello hello Tarra Treks is BACK! Read ‘em and weep, I sure did by the end.

6x20 ‘His Way’
- Netflix: “Bashir shows off his new holosuite character, a 1960s Las Vegas singer who performs in a lounge full of martini-swilling customers.”
  me out loud: “Why are you like this.”
- what is this boozy Mad Men fantasy
- it’s actually SO STRANGE to see them all in here in their uniforms!
- “pretty sweet pipes for a lightbulb” oh I like this, I like that he knows?? weird, weird and fun!

Julian is criminally pleased with himself and his preternaturally astute holographic lounge singer

- wait are Kira and Shakaar an on-again-off-again? since when?
- Julian: “He knows about love, life, women!”
  Miles: “Three things you know nothing about.”
  Julian: “Now that’s a little unfair.”
  hey if you knew about life you wouldn’t have walked right into that one
- hold up, I just realized I’m watching Quark give Odo relationship advice. QUARK AND ODO. TALKING ABOUT ♡
- Odo: “Who asked for your opinion?”
  Quark: “You did. I came here to talk about a missing shipment of groat clusters.”
- please tell me what is in a Warp Core Breach
- I SAID THAT AND THEN QUARK PULLED OUT A LITERAL FISHBOWL

this is incredible

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I think the Ryden friendship ending hurts me more than a Ryden relationship ending. Broken friendships have always hurt me more than broken relationships and that friendship they had was so beautiful. The way they smiled at each other, made each other laugh. They were like those friends who spoke without words, the ones that always made you feel like a third wheel because no matter what you were never on the same page as them. I feel like we pine so hard to understand their friendship but never will because so much of it was shared looks and smirks that we’ll NEVER get. Platonic or not, the idea of that being over makes me so sad. I don’t need a Ryden love rekindle, I just need a Ryden friendship rekindle.

UGHHH like imagine them seeing each other at that Halloween party and someone says something that reminds them of a joke they shared years ago and they make eye contact, grinning, after years and years and for a second they’re on the same page but then their smiles falter because oh yeah, they don’t share jokes like that anymore. That’s all in the past now. And it’s not a big deal anymore like god that makes me so sad.

Like maybe that stuff doesn’t even cross their minds anymore but that lost friendship breaks my heart. All lost friendships break my heart.

thewomanfromfreljord  asked:

Something weird now... How would suitors react if they would wake up as a girl in the morning :v? (Btw, hug was nice)

I wrote a fanfic on how Sid and the Princess switch bodies called The Enchantment, it’s on my masterlist :)

Giles -
I feel like he’s ok with this?
He knows a lot about females and their bodies so it’s not weird
No one seems to notice, lolol
Sidebraids
Pretty much the same except more underwear selection
Favorite part - his legs

Alyn -
Oh god this is weird
He has a difficult time explaining this to his knights
How do you do hair? WTF?
He gets mad ‘cuz he’s only 5'3" now and he has to climb or jump to get things on the top shelf
His sword is like up to his chest
Favorite part - n/a

Leo -
Is excited for more fashion choices
Not intimidated by the female body
Does super nice contouring makeup
Does like all those cute braid things you see on Pinterest but fail at
Loves girl talk
Favorite part- his ass - wears cheeky panties

Robert-
Oooh
He’s so cute
Does little braids and flowers in his hair
No makeup kinda au natural
Chocolate now has magical powers
A marathon of Gilmore Girls suddenly sounds like a great idea
Favorite part- feet


Nico -
BOOBIES!!!
He can’t get past this
He puts on a shirt and corset so his cleavage shows and he brags about it to everyone
The Princess and Alyn start a game where they throw stuff and try to “make it” down Nico’s shirt at lunch
Favorite part - boobs
More boobies

Louis -
Does hair and make up to perfection - curls, fake eyelashes, the works
Why is he so good at this? Why is this better than mine?
Immediately hated by every single female in the Palace because he’s so beautiful
Nicest bootay
I hate him
Favorite part- his nose

Albert-
OH MY GOD
What sort of witchcraft is this?
He doesn’t know what to do
He has to seek someone for help because he doesn’t know anything about girls and female bodies
Help me Tom Cruise
Calls Giles
Favorite part - no, stop.

Sid-
First he doesn’t like it
Then he thinks he could use this to his advantage
Make up sucks- he’s more natural
Does a cute ponytail
Gets a belly ring
Favorite part - hips/ waist

Rayvis -
He’s just like- I’m gorgeous.
Fabulous
He can’t stop looking at himself in the mirror
Why is everyone so tall now?
He’s only 5'1"
Fights anyone who says a short joke
Wears heels
Favorite part- pouty lips

Byron -
Basically does the same thing he does every day
What’s everyone looking at? Carry on
Basically the same except everyone would look better in Louis Vuitton uniforms
Favorite part - clavicle

  • Reader x Jimin (bts) x Wonwoo (seventeen)
  • Word count: 1021
  • An AU where Jimin overhears your dirty confession to fellow band mates about wanting a threesome before an awards show
  • ---
  • Inside the dressing room was silent, nothing but the sounds of makeup brushes being sat down on the table and the occasional sounds of home buttons of phones heard.
  • "So I heard that Seventeen are attending this award show" My fellow band mate, Angel says from the back of the room causing my cheeks to flush red. I swear I could hear the smirk in her voice.
  • "Ooh, (Y/N)'s lover boy is gonna be here" My other band mate, Kim coos as she gets her eyeliner done beautifully. "He is not my boyfriend" I groan for the millionth time this month. Memories flash back of one of seventeens most recent interviews that had aired.
  • ---
  • "So Wonwoo, the fans want to know, who is your ideal type of girl" The MC asks Wonwoo as the rest of the band snigger and hit his shoulder, like they already know the answer. "(Y/N) of 4Angels" He smoothly says, winking at the camera.
  • ---
  • The interview made tabloids, trending twitter tags, and so much more. Fans began shipping us, and so did my own band.
  • "He's so hot though, you're lucky you know" Angel says as we begin to get dressed for the awards show. "Not my style" I say, wanting to divert the topic away from Wonwoo. "Let's talk about something else" I say quickly, as I'm being passed a black dress.
  • I get undressed in front of my band mates and the female makeup artists, not caring as we are all very close and they don't mind as my band mates do the same with their outfits. The black dress reaches mid thigh and shows off my curves nicely.
  • "Oh my god (Y/N), you look sexy!" The maknae Poppy yelled out with a gasp, Kim and Angel agreeing with me. "At least she'll look sexy for Wonwoo tonight" Angel says with a cheeky wink making me groan.
  • "What do you think they'll get up to tonight huh?" Kim says to Angel as if I wasn't there. "Probably some dirty stuff to be honest, we all know she wants him too" Angel says.
  • "I want to do something like that with someone as good looking as Wonwoo to be honest" Kim says which lead to the most dirtiest conversation that I thought that I would ever have.
  • "A threesome would be so hot if you think about it, just imagine going down on someone whilst someone else is taking you at the same time" I say to the other 2 members thinking that no one else was around. The groan in response, agreeing to my dirty confession.
  • "Next time you confess things like that, you might want to close your dressing room door" A voice comes from the door, startling all of us. My head snaps to the right, only to be met with Park Jimin of BTS smugly looking down on me as he continues to walk his way down the hall.
  • My cheeks flush red as my head falls into my hands. His table is right next to the seventeen table. Knowing Jimins attitude, he is bound to tell him.
  • During the award ceremony, that was all I could think about; the Park Jimin knows my guilty pleasure. After the awards show, embarrassment was still present. Especially whenever I saw Jimin smirk at me from across the room.
  • My stomach flipped when he came walking towards me, his lip in between his teeth sexily. Without stopping, he took my arm harshly and dragged me with him down the hall towards the dreaded room that I tried avoiding all evening.
  • Seventeen; hip hop unit
  • He opened the door and quickly locked it behind him. My eyes dart tithe only person sitting down in this room. The man himself, Jeon Wonwoo. He stares up at me with his own lip in a bite.
  • "You told him didn't you" I say in a voice barley above a whisper. Jimin nods before quickly attaching his lips to my neck, Wonwoo watching from his seat. Jimin trails his hand below my short black dress, touching my clit and slowly rubbing. A moan escapes my mouth as my eyes shut.
  • Jimin drags me over to the dressing room table, placing me on the cold surface. Lifting my legs onto his shoulders, he takes my black lace panties off and throwing them in the corner. His mouth instantly attaches to my clit and begins sucking. My hands reach for his hair as he licks up and down my now wet sex. Wonwoo could be heard taking his jeans off in the distance and groaning, probably palming himself at the sight of Jimin having me like this.
  • "How's her pretty pussy?" He asks Jimin in between moans. Jimin moans in response as he sticks his tongue in further, practically tongue fucking me to my orgasm. Before the knot in my stomach could be untied, Jimin stops all of a sudden leaving me in a hot breathing mess. Wonwoo walks over, quickly picking me up and placing me on the couch he was once sat on.
  • Wonwoo crawls on top of me, not even bothering to put a condom on and begins roughly thrusting inside of me, my back arching at the pleasure I'm receiving from his dick all of a sudden. "How's that princess? How's daddy's cock" Jimin purrs as he plays with my hair and makes out with my neck.
  • I reach my hand out into Jimins pants and begin to palm him off as Wonwoo relentlessly fucks me. "Daddy's cock feels good" I say as I move my hips, meeting Wonwoos thrusts.
  • "Be more vocal princess, daddy wants to hear you as you cum all over my cock" Wonwoo says as his thrusting intensifies, my hand speeding up on Jimin as he cums into my hand.
  • Moans fly out of my mouth as my cum spills over Wonwoos dick. "So pretty" he praises, kissing me quickly before putting his pants on.
  • "Wonwoo, open this door before I kick it down" Mingyu yells from behind the locked door causing Jimin and I to laugh a little.
So you’re in McHanzo Hell and want Fanfic

McHanzo Hell: It’s fast, dangerous, and by the time you realize you’re infected you already have a new fetish for pony tails AND hats. But don’t worry, you’re not alone when it comes to really really REALLY wanting to see McCree and Hanzo smooch. There are plenty of fanfics of the pair out there, and Auntie Arachne is here to share some of her favorites!

Beware, most of these aren’t finished yet! But I know you’re strong enough to handle waiting

Hang the Fool - Read this fic. Do it. Put away whatever you’re doing and read this fanfic. Good Lord this is THE McHanzo Fanfic to read! A very canon take on McCree and Hanzo meeting, falling in love, and a whole bunch of stuff getting in the way. This story is so good it made me re-edit romance scenes in my own writing to make them better. That’s right this fic made me want to WRITE AND EDIT oh my god it’s so good

Oh Simple Thing - DID SOMEONE SAY ANGST AND H/C BECAUSE BOY I GOT THE FIC FOR YOU it’s years after Overwatch and McCree and Hanzo meet as old, broken men. There’s a lot of angst and pain but good lord the ending had me muffling my fangirl screams of joy

A Losing Combination - Over in AU land we have one where Hanzo and McCree never left their life of crime. But don’t worry, they make it work anyway. With some added in Reaper76 because in for a penny in for a pound. (Heyooooo)

An American Werewolf in London - McCree is a Werewolf! Hanzo loves him anyway! There’s werewolf sex! Tada!

it’s like an episode of friends but only with more robots - a cute short fluff about when Hanzo and McCree kiss in front of the group for the first time

Dragon Heart String - Look, if there’s one thing you need to know about me it’s that I am absolute ‘soulmate/mating/bonding au’ trash. So here’s one now! McCree learns to meditate, not knowing that it has some side effects.

Like the River - McCree sees Hanzo’s dragons and is like a moth to the flame. The question is, will they hurt them as bad as Genji said they would?

12:00 AM - McCree and Hanzo are suffering from insomnia and decide to pass the time together.

Tips for Expanding Your Business on an International Scale - Man, I’ve been really slipping with these descriptions. Let me try to get my head back in the game. This takes place long ago pre-Overwatch when Hanzo is still with the Shimada Clan and McCree is has been sent to Japan by The Deadlock Gang to work out a business deal with said clan.

Now Streaming: McHanzo - My own personal trash! Six months ago D.Va noticed a spark between McCree and Hanzo. Now she’s determined to catch their first kiss live while streaming on her Twitch TV channel. Because it turns out everyone in the world of Overwatch are McHanzo shippers, too

Okay! I think that’s a good list! There’s lots more good fics out there but I need to cut this thing off at some point. Enjoy!

“Grumpcast - Love Edition” Transcript!

I wrote up the entire podcast part of Danny’s and Kevin’s Single Train episode for myself to read later, but then I thought, “Why not share it with you guys, who want to read it as well?” So here you go!

(I also got rid of a lot of vocal tics n’ such so that it’s a lot smoother to read through!)

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anonymous asked:

Hey! I just want to thank you- you know the whole genderfluid Michelle Jones thing you did? That made me realize that I might actually be genderfluid and not cis like I originally thought. I'm still figuring it out though, but thank you regardless 😊😊😊 Also I just want to say I really loved it❤️ and if you could do more stuff related to genderfluid MJ then that would be awesome! (If you can't then that's totally fine too!) ❤️

Oh my god, this makes me so happy! I never would have thought my shitty edit would have had this kind of impact on someone and I couldn’t be more ecstatic! And of course I’ll make more I really enjoy them and they make me (and apparently other people as well) understand and feel like a part of the community.

  • me: *tries to talk to my mom about things that are important to me and serious subjects I need someone to talk to someone about*
  • mom: *shows little to no interest and/or makes me feel bad for what I believe and who I am*
  • mom: why don't tell me anything why do you never speak to me why don't you ever tell me your problems i'm beginning to think that you just hate me always remember you can talk to me about anything at any time
'I WANT TO HAVE A BABY WITH A GIRL MATE' Radio One’s Nick Grimshaw talks being broody, hating dating and embracing his thirties

Grimmy is one of the UK’s most eligible gay bachelors and the definition of great company, but the radio host reveals finding love isn’t as easy as it seems [x]

BY NATALIE EDWARDS 23rd October 2016, 12:15 am

NICK Grimshaw looks smitten as he cradles a small and sleepy bundle of joy in his arms.

“It’s like he’s my baby,” Nick proudly grins as he strokes his four-month-old pug-mix pup.

The Radio 1 Breakfast Show presenter, AKA Grimmy, is definitely getting a taste of fatherhood behind the scenes of his shoot today – he’s constantly chasing after the aptly named Stinky Blob – a rescue pup from Battersea Dogs & Cats Home – who’s leaving puddles of wee everywhere, and apologising for his, erm, wind issues.

It’s good practice for parenthood, which is handy, as Nick, 32, admits he’s definitely feeling broody.

“I love kids and all my friends are starting to have kids. I also have nieces and nephews. I think I would like to have a little gayby [a baby with same-sex parents],” he smiles.

“Or I would like to have a baby with one of my girl friends. I haven’t discussed it with them yet, but I would quite like it.

“I looked after one of my friend’s kids last week and it was full-on. It was a lot looking after two dogs, a kid and trying to do some work.”

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hello, lovelies!!!!!!!!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖

it’s kelsey, and since my one year anniversary was a little over a month ago and it’ll be 2017 in about 2hrs for me, i thought it was about high time i did one of these!  i’ve met and talked with some very extraordinary and incredible ppl since i started my got7 blog, and i’m so grateful for having discovered this wonderful ahgase family 😊  i know 2016 as a whole hasn’t been the greatest of years, but it’s been one of the best i’ve had in a long, long time personally.  and this fanbase and our 7 goofy, talented boys are the reason for that. so, without further ado, let’s get started 😁  

ps, please excuse the crappy edit, my limited photoshop skills stop and start at making gifs 🙈 

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anonymous asked:

Lara/Sam acceptance

Lara comes out to Sam. Pre- Yamatai

——-

“Honey, I’m ho~me!” I open the shoddy front door with the tip of my foot, juggling two bags of junky groceries and my car keys with practiced skill. “I come baring gifts!”

I glance over the take-out sticking out of the top of the brown bag. The lights are on, like, all of the lights in the apartment, but may roomie’s nowhere to be found. 

“Lara?” I plop the random food stuffs on the kitchen counter and scratch my chin. The space is cool and crisp and nice, with a steady breeze coming from the open window on the north side. I clear my throat and make my way to it, pulling the shaggy curtains aside and peaking out onto the fire escape. 

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Craigslist Interlude: Vanity Fair Reports

craigslist au. In which Skye takes on the ultimate Ward gauntlet: Being featured in Vanity Fair.  Oh, and she and Grant might just have a surprise up their sleeves. PS HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIZZIE

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So I’m just gonna have a tiny positive rant in this post for the start of 2017.

tl;dr of this entire post is pretty much ‘If you’re thinking of making a blog for writing, do it right now. Don’t do it for followers for notes, do it because you want to do it’ essentially. What’s below is a really long and passionate rant on my opinion on the topic. Like, I get if people don’t agree with me, but this is how I feel.

Also there’s loads of swearing because I am very passionate about this.

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Undone (Secret Agent!AU) - Chapter Seventeen

***

Lauren walked into the dojo Monday morning, eyes falling on Camila and nerves immediately stirring in her stomach. She’d attempted to approach the girl the day before, unable to find Camila anywhere on campus. She’d quickly come to the conclusion that Camila was most likely avoiding her after the kiss, seeing as the gossip of her and Celine’s fight had seemed to spread by the end of breakfast come Sunday. Whether that was due to Celine telling her friends or the lack of volume control they had during their fight, Lauren wasn’t sure.  

“Hey,” she greeted, smiling nervously at Camila as she moved across the mat, falling down near the girl, “Where were you yesterday? I was looking for you.”

Camila looked up from her bag, “Sorry,” She smiled, “Niall kidnapped me for the day.”

“Oh.” Lauren paused, frowning in confusion, “Cool.”

The younger girl nodded softly, beginning to wrap her hands.

“I- um… I heard you and Celine had a fight?”  

“Uh… yeah.” Lauren muttered, “After bowling.”

“Are you guys okay now?”

“… I don’t know. We haven’t really spoken.”

“Oh. Well,” Camila smiled at the green-eyed girl, “Hopefully you guys figure everything out.”

Lauren eyed Camila in utter confusion. Had she just imagined the kiss or something?

“Are we not going to talk about the kiss?” she asked, her brow furrowed. Camila was always the one to push these things, why was she acting like nothing happened? And why did she have to choose to do this on the day Lauren was actually prepared to have the conversation? She really needed to work on her luck.

Camila paused wrapping her hands, looking over at Lauren with a slight blush, “No.” she shook her head, “It was a mistake, right?”

Lauren paused, a flash of hurt crossing her face before nodding slowly, “Um- I mean-”

“I’m seeing Niall. And you’re dating Celine. That was your choice.” Camila continued, “I assumed you wouldn’t want to talk about it? It’s either ignore it, or end up losing our friendship again.”

“I just…” Lauren trailed off, losing her courage and nodding weakly, “No, yeah. You’re right.” She murmured in defeat, “I guess it didn’t happen then.”

“Well it still happened. We just aren’t going to talk about it.”

“Have you…” Lauren swallowed, “Are you going to tell Niall?”

Camila paused, mulling over the idea, “No. It’ll just hurt him. And besides, it didn’t mean anything, did it?”

Her words were almost accusatory, less of an assumption and more of a genuine question, looking to Lauren to find her real answer. Lauren watched Camila with a lost expression, wondering where the calculated girl in front of her had come from. She sounded almost detached, little emotion shining through her words. It was as though Camila had rehearsed how to approach the topic in front of a mirror.

Honestly, Lauren didn’t even know what she wanted Camila to say. She was right. Lauren had made a choice with Celine, and who was she to expect anything from Camila now?

Eventually, she nodded, “It would only hurt him.” Lauren said, choosing not to answer Camila’s question directly, “You’re right.”

Camila looked at Lauren with an unreadable expression, eventually letting a sigh and returning to wrapping her hands, a silence settling between the pair for the rest of the day.

***

That Friday, Camila and Niall were sat on Niall’s bed, passing the night with a movie. After the slight awkwardness between her and Lauren on Monday, things had returned relatively to normal. An unspoken agreement existed between them that the kiss would be ignored, in an attempt to keep their friendship alive. However, Lauren had been acting like a kicked puppy for the better part of the week, whether that was because of their discussion or Lauren’s troubles with Celine, the younger girl wasn’t sure.

Camila’s eyes were glued to the screen of Niall’s laptop as they watched the movie, her boyfriend however preoccupied with other intentions.

“Mila…” Niall’s playful voice sang, garnering Camila’s attention.

“Yep?” Camila turned her head to look at the boy, finding a sly smile on his face.

Niall leant in, pressing a soft kiss to Camila’s lips.

As he pulled back Camila let out an awkward chuckle, “Okay?” she giggled, looking back at the movie.

Niall huffed in frustration as he quickly lost Camila’s attention to the film again, deciding to take action and reaching his arm out to close the device, pulling it away from Camila and settling it on his bedside table.

“Hey!” Camila protested, frowning as the laptop was taken away.

Niall laughed, “Forget the movie.” He said, moving back over to Camila.

Camila pouted as Niall began to trail kisses along her neck, “But I came over here for the movie.”

“I thought you came over here for me.” Niall teased, his hands roaming Camila’s body.

“Well- yeah, of course-” Camila mumbled, her sentence being cut off as Niall seized her lips in his own.

She squirmed slightly under the boy’s rough touch, reluctantly complying as Niall edged her to lie back down on the bed.

Releasing her lips Niall leant back, grinning excitedly down at Camila.

Camila smiled anxiously at the boy as he swept in once more, suckling at her neck. An uneasy feeling settled in her stomach as she felt a hand edging up underneath her shirt.

“Um- Niall…” she protested softly, bringing a hand up to stop Niall’s from exploring her chest.

Niall chuckled against Camila’s neck, allowing her to bring his hand out of her shirt and instead kissing her on the lips once more.

It wasn’t long however until Camila found his hand wandering once again, this time his fingers brushing against the top of Camila’s jeans, eventually popping open the top button.

Camila let out a small yelp in protest, pulling away from Niall’s lips and pushing at his chest to force him away from her.

“What?” Niall breathed, leaning back reluctantly and looking down at Camila.

“I just- not now…” Camila murmured, avoiding eye contact with the boy. Her cheeks were flushed, feeling increasingly uncomfortable in the room.

Niall laughed softly, “Come on, Mila.” He said, leaning back in and kissing along her collarbone, “It’s just nerves.” He mumbled, his hand moving under Camila’s shirt and ignoring how the girl squirmed at the contact, “I promise it’ll feel good.” He coaxed.

“Niall, no.” Camila said firmly, this time pushing Niall back.

Niall groaned, “Seriously, Camila?” he bit-out, climbing off of his girlfriend and getting off of the bed.

Camila sat up, swinging her legs over the bed and looking at Niall, “I’m sorry…” she apologized, “I just- I don’t want to do that right now, okay?”

“When will you want to?” Niall huffed, “Because it’s been a while Camila and you barely let me kiss you!”

“I’m just not ready for sex yet-”

“I’m not talking about sex!” the boy snapped, “It doesn’t have to be sex just god act like you actually like me!”

Camila gaped, her face red in embarrassment, “I do like you-”

“Are you sure, Camila? Because you don’t even let me touch you.”

“I’m just not ready-”

“Yeah yeah ‘you’re not ready’.” Niall scoffed, “Do you mean you’re not ready in general or you’re just not ready because it’s me?”

“I can’t believe you’re getting upset about this!” Camila exclaimed in disbelief, her eyes watering slightly.

“Don’t do that.” Niall growled out, “Don’t make me feel like a jerk. I’m not trying to pressure you, Mila.”

“That’s exactly what you’re doing right now!”

“No I’m not!” Niall yelled, making Camila jump, “Intimacy is a part of relationships! Is it so fucking wrong that I expect my girlfriend to act like she actually wants me? You’re supposed to do this stuff with your boyfriend! We’ve been going slow as it is. You literally find any reason not to be alone with me. Give me something to work with!”

“I’m leaving.” Camila muttered, standing up.

Seriously? You’re gonna leave?” Niall huffed, stepping in front of Camila, “You can’t just walk away when I’m talking to you about something important.”

“Niall all you’re doing is yelling at me-”

“Because I’m frustrated! And now you’re making me feel like shit just because I want to be close to my girlfriend!”

“There are other ways to be close to someone-”

“Yeah but the physical stuff is part of a relationship!” Niall exclaimed, “Do you even like me, Mila? Huh? Do you event want to be with me? Are you just a tease?”

Camila stuttered for words, tears stinging her eyes at the harsh questions, “Niall- please-” she begged, attempting to push past the boy.

“Give me an answer!” Niall demanded, refusing to let Camila past.

“You’re scaring me.”

“Oh my god really?! Am I not allowed to be mad now?”

Camila shook her head, lip trembling and pushing Niall out of her way forcefully, moving quickly to the door and leaving the room. She heard Niall follow her outside as she walked swiftly down the hallway, eventually hearing a loud slam of the boy’s door and assuming he had returned to his room when no footsteps sounded behind her.

Tears fell down her face as she walked down the hallway and through the building towards the girl’s dormitories. Arriving at her dorm Camila heard Dinah’s voice on the other side of the door, accompanied by the laughter of what she assumed were the other girls. She bit down on her bottom lip, deciding not to enter the room immediately as she struggled to keep full cries from leaving her lips.

Camila sank to the floor of the empty hallway, bringing her knees up to her chest and crying softly.

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been sitting out in the hallway when Camila heard footsteps coming down the hallway, a pair of shoes meeting her vision as they came to a stop in front of her.

“Camila?”

Camila looked up, finding Lauren looking down at her worriedly and wiping at her eyes, “Oh. Hey.” She murmured, her voice wavering.

“What’s wrong?” Lauren immediately asked, sitting down next to Camila, “What happened?”

“Nothing- it’s fine.” Camila let out a throaty laugh, “I’m just- I’m being dumb and emotional.”

Lauren’s eyes scanned Camila’s features, reading through the lie, “Camila.” She murmured, a hand reaching up to brush away some tears, “What’s going on?”

Camila sniffed, “It’s nothing. Really.” She breathed, shaking her head, “Just Niall. We had a fight.”

Lauren’s jaw tightened, “What did he do?”

“Lauren, it’s fine-”

“Camila.” Lauren pressed, wanting to know what the boy had done that had gotten Camila into such a state.

“He just,” Camila sighed, looking down at her hands, “We were hanging out and he started kissing me and he- you know…” she bit her bottom lip, “He tried to go further.”

Lauren’s features darkened, her anger quickly rising, “And?” she prompted, fearing the possibilities.

“Don’t worry.” Camila said, seeing the dread in Lauren’s eyes, “He didn’t- he didn’t end up doing anything. I… I kept on saying no. And eventually he kind of just… snapped. And he went off at me.” She let out a soft sob, “He was saying things and I mean- he’s right, you know?” she cried, “I’m a bad girlfriend.”

Lauren shook her head, pulling Camila into her arms as the girl began to cry once more.

“Camila- no. Don’t say that.”

“But I am!” Camila huffed, “I- I should wantto be with him like that. He’s right- it’s expected. I should want to kiss him and do those things with him but I don’t and I- I just couldn’t force myself to do it, you know?”

“Camila he has no right to expect that from you.” Lauren said firmly, her hold tightening on the younger girl, “That’s bullshit. You’ve done nothing wrong, okay? Don’t think for a fucking second that you owe him anything. You’re allowed to not be ready for those things.”

“But it’s not- it’s not even that it’s just with him I can’t- I don’t want to- and I should want to and I don’t know what-”

“Hey.” Lauren said, stopping Camila’s rambling and squeezing the girl in her arms, “Stop.

Camila huffed, attempting to calm her breaths, “I don’t know what to do.”

“You don’t need to know, okay?”

When Camila eventually began to calm down, Lauren released her to lean back, hands on her shoulders and eyes scanning the girl’s features worriedly. She reached up a hand, brushing away a tear softly.

“Think you can go in there?” she murmured, nodding to the door to Camila’s room, the muffled sounds of their friends inside still carrying on.

Camila shrugged, biting down on her bottom lip, “I mean, I guess I can’t hide here all night.” She let out a sigh, “Are you coming?”

 “I wasn’t planning on it,” Lauren said, “I’ve got study to do.” She tucked Camila’s hair behind her ear gently, “But I can if you want me to?”

Camila looked down at the floor, brow furrowed, “Do you…” she toyed with her hands, her voice small, “Do you think I could just come to your dorm instead?” she asked, “I mean, the girls are going to ask questions and I don’t- I don’t want to deal with it right now.”

Lauren smiled softly at the younger girl, nodding her head and standing up off the floor, holding a hand out for Camila.

“Come on.” She prompted gently, helping to pull Camila up as the brunette accepted the hand offered.

***

“I’m pretty sure teaching Red Shirts combat is the cutest thing ever.” Dinah grinned, “Seriously, I think after CHERUB I’m just going to stick around and become a supervisor. I’d totally be happy helping with the little tykes after my career as an agent.”

“I could see that.” Normani nodded, “I think you’re one of the few people who actually likes helping with the Red Shirts.”

“Amen.” Ally laughed, “I mean, they’re all so cute but having to take care of them? It’s impossible. I swear you must get the good kids when you have babysitting duties.”

“They just like me better.” Dinah teased, sticking her tongue out at Ally teasingly.

Lauren sat next to Camila at the bench, barely paying attention to the conversation between her friends. It was the afternoon after she’d found Camila crying about the situation with Niall, and she was yet to get it out of her head.

Camila had been distant the whole night, passing out in Lauren’s bed with wet cheeks after more tears. The fact that she felt so much guilt over the situation infuriated Lauren. The idea that the boy had made Camila feel as though she was in the wrong for not wanting to go further with him? It made her sick. Her immediate instinct had been to go after Niall, in some attempt to satisfy her need to protect Camila. Hell, if it hadn’t been for Camila’s presence the night before, Lauren probably would have gone after the boy by now.

From their bench she could see Niall playing on the soccer field with Zayn and a group of other CHERUB kids, acting as though everything was right in the world. God, she wanted to hurt him.

“Lo?”

Lauren forced her eyes away from the blond boy as she felt a soft hand rest on her thigh, Camila peering at her in concern.

“Yeah?”

“You okay?”

Lauren nodded, looking back over to the pitch, feeling her anger grow as Niall’s laugh carried across the field.

“Just peachy.” She bit-out in response, knuckles white as her hand fisted into a ball, “Has he spoken to you?”

Camila looked over at the pitch briefly before turning to back to Lauren, “No. I’ve been with you since last night. When would he have had the chance?”

“Hm.”

“Lauren.”

“He doesn’t even think he’s done anything wrong.” Lauren growled out, eyes following Niall’s every move.

“Hey, guys.” Dinah snapped her fingers at the pair, “At least pretend you like hanging out with us for a sec.”

Camila let out a laugh, turning back to their friends, “Sorry, what were you saying?” she asked, a hand reaching out to rest over Lauren’s reassuringly as she immersed herself back in the conversation.

Lauren continued to pay little attention to the chatter amongst the group, returning to watching the boys on the soccer field. She just wanted him to pay. And lord knows Camila wasn’t about to confront him about it.

Eventually thanks to a misfired kick the ball came rolling over towards their table, Lauren watching it come to a stop a few feet away from her.

“Oi! Lauren!” Niall called boisterously, waving to get her attention, “Kick us the ball back!”

Lauren’s jaw tightened, glaring at the boy who didn’t even spare Camila a glance.

She felt Camila’s hand tighten on her own slightly before she stood up from the bench, leaving the group and moving to pick up the ball.

“Just throw it!” Niall yelled, holding his hands up in prompt.

Ignoring the boy’s order Lauren walked across the field towards him.

Niall offered her a confused smile as she approached, “Joining in?”

Lauren scoffed, shaking her head and throwing the ball hard at the boy.

Niall let out a pained breath as it collided with his stomach, looking up only to find a hard punch swiftly delivered to his face.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?!” Lauren barked as Niall fell to the ground at the strike.

Camila and the girls jumped up from the bench in alarm at the sound of fist colliding with flesh, quickly making their way over to the field.  

“What the fuck, Lauren?!” Niall cried, holding his rapidly bleeding nose in pain as the rest of the boys looked on with dropped jaws.

“Lauren-” Camila started, heading towards Lauren only to find Dinah quickly pulling her back to her side firmly.

“Girl you do not wanna get in the middle of this.” She warned, maintaining a solid grasp on Camila’s arm. In their years at CHERUB, she’d long learnt not to get in the way of an angry Lauren; and the venomous look on the girl’s face right now was more than terrifying.

As Lauren made to approach Niall again Zayn finally stepped in, forcing her back and blocking her from getting around him.

“I’m going to kill you.” Lauren hissed to Niall, anger only rising at his glare. She fought against Zayn, trying to push her way towards Niall, “How dare you fucking treat her like that!”

Realization crossed Niall’s face at that, the boy looking to Camila momentarily before darting back to Lauren, “Are you kidding me?!” his accent carried across the pitch, “She told you?!”

Lauren laughed bitterly, “Yeah, she told me.” She spat, “You’re fucking disgusting, you know that?”

“I didn’t even do anything!”

“Lauren, stop.” Zayn panted, struggling to keep Lauren back, “You’re going to get in trouble.”

The green-eyed girl ignored him, furious eyes focused on Niall as he rose to his feet, face bloodied from the strike to his nose.

“Oh, you didn’t do anything?” Lauren gritted, “You forced yourself on her!”

“She’s my girlfriend!

“So that gives you the right to try and pressure her into sex?!”

“This is between Camila and I, what the fuck do you even care?” Niall growled out, his own anger getting the better of him, “What? You crushing on her or something? Is that it? Trying to be some knight in shining armor? Where’s Celine, Lauren?”

At that Lauren shoved Zayn out of the way, moving forward and tackling Niall to the ground. She managed another punch before the boy fought back, pushing Lauren off of him and delivering his own hit to the girl.

All professional training was long forgotten as the pair rolled around on the ground, using every scrappy fight technique in the book and attempting to land whatever painful strike they could.

Zayn attempted to get in-between the two once more only to quickly receive an elbow to the face, stumbling back and deciding to let Lauren and Niall get their frustrations out.

“Lauren! Niall!” Camila exclaimed, attempts to break from Dinah’s grasp futile and her yells to the pair going unheard.

Lauren managed to get the upper hand, climbing on top of Niall and delivering punch after punch to the boy. She was seeing red, barely able to make out anyone other then the boy underneath her, putting all of her pent up anger into hurting him.

Too soon Lauren found two pairs of strong arms grabbing her from behind, being dragged off of Niall with force.

Lauren attempted to break the hold of the superiors yanking her away, seething as she tried to get back to Niall, the boy also being forced back by a pair of White Shirts.

“You’re fucking crazy!” Niall barked, his appearance a bloodied mess. Lauren was sure she looked very similar, feeling the multiple fresh scrapes and bruises on her body.

“And you’re a piece of shit!” she spat back.

“Alright, come on.” One of the men holding Lauren grumbled, proceeding to pull the girl away from the field, the pair holding Niall doing the same.

Camila watched in alarm as Niall and Lauren were forced off of the field, no doubt headed for Ian’s office.

“What the hell was that?” Normani breathed, eyes wide and turning to Camila for answers.

“I- I don’t…” Camila shook her head, finding all eyes on her, stomach twisting uncomfortably at the drama she’d unintentionally caused.

Camila’s cheeks reddened in embarrassment and she moved out of Dinah’s grasp, quickly walking off of the field and away from the group of people watching her, brain scattered.

***

Lauren made her way down the hallway later that night towards her dorm room, having spent a good hour in the health building after her and Niall’s ‘chat’ with Ian. Unsurprisingly, the man had been furious, dealing out joint punishments to the pair and yelling for lord knows how long.

The green-eyed girl almost regretted going after Niall after having to say goodbye once again to her free time thanks to punishments. Well, almost. Punching the guy had felt really good, okay?

Niall had done more damage than she’d thought, leaving a painful gash above Lauren’s eyebrow that had needed stitches and a number of notable other scrapes and bruises across her body. Not that Lauren really flinched at physical injuries too much these days. Niall had walked away a lot worse for wear than her.

As she turned into the hallway for her dorm Lauren’s eyes fell on Celine up ahead, waiting outside her room. Lauren let out an exhausted sigh, approaching the girl hesitantly.

“Hey.” She murmured, garnering Celine’s attention.

The younger girl looked up at Lauren’s voice, her eyes slightly red and a sad expression adorning her features.

“Hi.” Celine responded shortly, standing up, eyes widening at Lauren’s beaten up appearance, “Are you okay?”

Lauren shrugged, “Yeah, fine. I’ve been worse.” She ran a hand through her hair, “I’m guessing you heard about-”

“I did.” Celine cut her off, letting out a dry laugh, “I think everyone’s heard about it.”

“Right.” Lauren nodded, looking down at the floor ruefully, “So… I’m guessing you’re here to yell at me?”

Celine huffed, “No.” she muttered, her voice quiet, “I think I’m done with the yelling. I just want to talk.”

“Oh.” Lauren paused, “Um… did you… would you like to come in?” she asked, nodding to her door.

“Sure.” Celine shrugged, toying with her hands as Lauren unlocked the door and held it open for her.

Lauren followed Celine inside, awkwardness already filling the space as the younger girl came to sit on the edge of Lauren’s bed.

Celine let out a sigh as Lauren eventually sat down next to her, eyes trained on her hands in her lap.

“I can’t…” Celine bit down on her bottom lip, her voice wavering slightly, “I can’t do this, Lauren.” She murmured, looking to her side at Lauren, “You don’t want to be with me.”

The green-eyed girl remained silent, taking in Celine’s broken expression and feeling the guilt settle in her stomach, knowing she couldn’t truthfully deny the statement.

Celine’s eyes watered slightly at the lack of a fight, looking down at her hands, “I think… we’ve been holding onto something that isn’t there anymore.” Her voice cracked, “We’ve been lying to ourselves to think it could work a second time round.”

“Celine…” Lauren started

“No.” Celine shook her head, silencing Lauren, “I’m fine. It’s… it’s fine.” She murmured, “I kind of knew it all along, you know? The way you look at Camila… the way you are with her…” she let out a defeated laugh, “I mean, look at you.” The younger girl said, “You don’t get into the state you’re in right now with platonic feelings for a friend.”

She sighed, shrugging forlornly, “I took me a while to come to terms with it but… you don’t love me anymore, Lauren. And I guess I just need to accept that.”

Lauren peered at Celine, the words sinking in and turning her gaze to the floor.

“I’m sorry.” She said eventually, unable to fight Celine on the topic. She knew she was right. Despite how much Lauren had tried… she couldn’t run away from her feelings for Camila. They were there, and they were real. And being with Celine wasn’t going to change that.

“I know.” Celine nodded sadly, sighing and standing up from the bed.

She looked down at Lauren, offering a halfhearted smile, “And I really do love you, Lauren.” The younger girl shrugged, “I wish that had been enough.”

Lauren watched as the girl turned on her heel and walked out of her dorm, guilt swimming in her stomach. As the door closed behind Celine with a click of finality, her head fell into her hands, left to her deafening thoughts once more.

***

A/N: Once again I’m not sure about this chapter but maybe that’s more to do with it being early hours and me lacking in sleep. 

Anyway, Lauren fought Niall and went protective girlfriend on his ass despite the lacking in the girlfriend title department, aaand Laurine broke up, which I think a few of you will be happy with. (shout out to my Americans Crystal & Amanda who will probably rejoice #screwceline101) 

Sooo yeah let me know what you thought :) Next chapter we’ll see what’s happening with Camiall, Camren, and Lauren’s headed to therapy. Oh also Lauren/Niall will be dealing with punishments together so that’ll be interesting.

See you guys next time! :)

Personal

So yesterday I came online to see several people talking about the possibility tumblr might be shutting down. I saw my fellow writers making posts about transferring all their work to ao3, artists and gif/edit makers worried what’s going to happen to all their content. Above all, I saw people freaking out over the loss of this community.

I have had my ask box closed for a month or so now as I have been dealing with some personal issues and after talking with several people yesterday, I opened it back up again in case anyone wanted to talk about the rumours/needed a friend. Many people, including myself, did not know what was happening. All we knew was what we were being told by our friends and other people on this site regarding the situation. I made a post stating my asks were open again and when someone asked me what was going on with Yahoo, I replied with the information I knew - that there was a possibility of closure and that to be on the safe side to prepare, ie. saving works, making sure your stuff was backed up etc.

I did not state tumblr was closing, I simply related to that one user what I had been told and was very understandably anxious and upset about. This morning, I woke up to 15 separate hate mails telling me I had “ruined people’s lives” and to “fuck off” and “grow a brain”, among other things. Now let me tell you a thing, confrontation of any kind, especially when someone’s feeling are involved, is really upsetting to me. Really upsetting, to the point where I even avoid it in my day to day life because any kind of negative encounter with people leaves me shaken and often leads to several panic attacks. One of which I had this morning, so thanks for that. I do my best to keep my blog a totally safe space for people - I don’t even reblog stuff I want to reblog sometimes because I am aware the post might make some of my followers upset or angry - but guess what, this is also meant to be my safe space.

I didn’t make a post yesterday going OH MY GOD TUMBLR IS DEAD. EVERYONE START CRYING. I replied to someone and I gave them the information I knew at the time from friends and yes, from Google. For whatever reason that reply got spread like wildfire and instead of doing something to reassure people, a bunch of you decided it was totally acceptable to tell me I had “ruined lives” and that I should “hate myself”. Instead of reblogging my post saying “hey, don’t worry, it’s just a rumour!” or “nah, this won’t come to anything” and reassuring people, you chose to attack me and make me feel terrible, which does what? How does that help? Tons of people in my fandom yesterday made similar posts relating what they had heard. Why was I not allowed to be upset? I never get involved in anything like this, I always stay silent, but the only reason I spoke up is because the thought of losing the people I made a home with here really got to me and I was terrified and thought others might be too.

You could have reassured people (including me, I might add) and instead you decided to hide behind anon and attack me instead. Thank you so so much for forcing me to close down my ask box again. Thank you for not giving a damn about how your actions have affected me or how this will change the way I interact with people on here now. Thank you for not trying to be helpful in anyway whatsoever.

I do not like being aggressive but the way you treated me, as if somehow I started this rumour for a laugh, is appalling and extremely upsetting and I felt this post was necessary.

To everyone who sent me messages letting me know it wasn’t as bad as people were saying, reblogging with reassuring facts or information, telling me you were just as upset as me - thank you. Thank you for behaving like decent human beings and taking a bad situation and attempting to make it better. If I did cause any upset, I apologise. Truly. I wasn’t aware I was saying anything wrong.

To all my followers, I am so sorry. Everything you have sent me; ask, prompt, ramble or message. I have got them all tucked away safely and will start replying again when I can reach a better headspace.

A special thank you to @hoechlindylan @stilesandderek @halesheart @halekingsourwolf and @lightwoodsdaddario who have been so kind and reminded me I was allowed to take a breath. 

Bullying, however small, is not okay. Even a simple “fuck you” can have severe consequences. You know nothing about me and how I react to stuff. Please consider that next time you are thinking about sending anyone a message, even if you think it’s something that can be shrugged off.