oh my god mashed potatoes

i know you can’t cook for shit so i’ve been bringing you dinner every night, just, y’know, to keep you alive vampire!seokjin

‘come to the window’

If that had been anyone else who had sent you that text, it would be over your dead body to bring yourself there… or that’s what it would be. But since it’s from a certain someone that didn’t fit the spectrum of just anyone, you hop off the sofa and head towards the window where it reflects the television screen you had your eyes on for the past hour.

There’s a couple containers perfectly stacked and packed by the ledge, willing for you to take. Carefully unlocking the latch and allowing the cool breeze of the night drift across your skin, you stick your hand out to collect what seems to be a freshly cooked meal of your favor. Possibly fried chicken marinated with spicy sauce and rice (based on the weight) with eggs and oh my fucking god, mashed potatoes.

Although the scent alone is salivating your taste buds, you set it down to the side safely in your home and take a look at your phone. Tapping on reply, you’re formulating your sentence halfway that consists of a question and a statement at the same time but the - “I’m here, by the way,”

“Holy fuck me-”your hands juggle your phone, almost dropping it over eleven stories high and you press it to your chest. You roll your eyes as they close shut, then bursting out in a small outrage to - “Give me a warning, will you?!”

“Is that how you treat someone who cooks for you every night?” Seokjin crosses his arms, balancing himself effortlessly against the ledge of your neighbours window and his back to the brick walls. You heave a deep breath and gaze to his eyes, making the effort to crane your neck out the window, “…I didn’t ask you to cook for me,”

He lets out a sound coming across as a groan and an exclaim of an exaggerated wow that he’s known for. You chuckle at this when his red eyes turn brown, the color of comfort of being in a presence that’s familiar for him to be on his guard. He takes a step forward, and the next thing you know the two of you come face to face (you’re still amazed how he manages to hold himself up on such a tiny space for his feet).

“And wait for you to die because you can’t cook for shit? Hah, okay, I’ll give you that. But how about you repay me?”

You fold your arms, brow raised (and from another view you know people would think you’re ridiculous to taunt someone who can climb their way up eleven stories without using the stairs or lift but again, he wasn’t just anyone to you), “With what? Money? You know I could sell all my organs and it wouldn’t be enough,”

“Wine, do you have it?”

“…eh, maybe. I could go chec-hey! This is trespassing!”

He snorts, already halfway into your kitchen as you hastily close your window. His hands are rummaging through the cabinets and you yelp on your way over, to which he chuckles and tells you to - “Be careful,” - the same time you push aside the tubs of food before you knock them over completely. Huffing, you stand by the kitchen door with a frown, “Again, trespassing!”

“Nothing I haven’t seen,” He shrugs, and your eyes are to slits, “I don’t give a flying fuck if you’re a vampire but you can’t just come into my house like this!”

“Call the cops if you want me gone,”

When Seokjin sees how you lazily drag your foot around the other, he smirks.

“Be back in five,” He heads towards the window, and you can’t bite your tongue on the words firing out your lips. “Are all vampires this cocky?”

“I don’t know,” He puts one foot out, looking over his shoulder to you, “Have you dated other vampires?”

With a pout, you turn away from him after retrieving the food by the floor, with a huff shortly after as you head towards the dining table, “…I’m eating now,”

“I’ll be back with wine,” He laughs, then tapping on the window pane when you settle down on the seat, “Leave this unlocked,”

“I have a door, you know,”

“You also have a window,”

“…be back with the wine before I finish eating.”

The Baby Project pt. 2

“Is anyone going to address the baby in the room?”

Lucas and Maya both simultaneously rolled their eyes at Zay. Zay was the only smart one of the five who opted out of taking home ec because he took wood shop instead. He knew exactly why the two had a baby accompanying them at lunch, but it didn’t make it any less amusing to bring it up.

“Richardson paired us up,” Maya groaned. “Meet Colton.”

Riley took the baby from Maya and coddled it as if it were real, earning strange looks from everyone but Farkle. “What?” She asked when she realized everyone was watching her. “Do you guys not remember how Farkle and I almost failed this project?”

“Yeah,” Farkle piped up. “And that was the two of us, straight A students.”

“What’s that supposed to mean,” Lucas asked sounding very offended.

“Look, what Farkle is trying to say is that this whole baby project is not a walk in the park. We had to fight to get a B on this project and if you two don’t take this seriously, then you’ll be lucky to get a D.” Riley handed the baby back to Maya who held it out at arm’s length.

Suddenly, the baby erupted into a fit of hysterics. Maya panicked and dropped the doll, resulting in it falling into her mashed potatoes. “Oh my god!” She shrieked and panicked to pick it up.

“What the hell, Maya?” Lucas shouted, attempting to take the doll from her.

“Chill out, Huckleberry! I’ve got him now!”

“Clearly not since he’s still crying.”

“Well what do you suggest I do to make him stop?”

“I don’t know, maybe he’s hungry!”

And that’s when it happened. One second Maya and Lucas were arguing over the well being of their child and the next Maya was covered in an unidentifiable liquid. She continued to hold the mashed potato covered doll at arm’s length and just stared at it in shock. Lucas snapped his mouth closed and held his breath, as did everyone at their table.

“What the hell was that,” Maya asked, sounding much too calm.

“They spit up if you don’t burp them right,” Farkle said carefully as if walking on broken glass.

“You have got to be kidding me!” Maya exploded. She shoved the doll into Lucas’s chest and stalked away to the bathroom to wash the liquid out of her shirt while she still could. The entire lunch room stared at the pissed off blonde as she stalked away to the nearest bathroom. Riley followed behind her quickly, ignoring that Maya had just caused a scene.

“I can’t believe I got stuck to do this with HIM of all people,” Maya muttered to herself as she dabbed the stain with a wet paper towel at the sink.

“I’m pretty sure it’s just water, Maya. It should dry and come out fine,” Riley spoke softly as to not upset her friend any more.

“You think? What do you mean you think? This is one of my favorite shirts, Riley! We haven’t even had this dumb baby for an hour yet and it’s already ruining my life!”

Riley took a dry paper towel and began to dab at the stain on Maya’s yellow top. “You’re exaggerating, Peaches. The stain will come out and you will be fine.”

Maya rolled her eyes and shoved Riley’s hand away. She looked at her friend through the mirror and pouted. “This isn’t about the stain, Riles. Why do I always have to be paired up with him? It’s like our teachers have a vendetta against us or something!”

Riley smiled softly and shook her head. “They don’t have a vendetta against you, Maya. I think they always put you together because as much as you two fight, you work together. I know it doesn’t seem like it since you’re always pissed at each other when it comes to projects, but you really do work well together.”

“That’s bullshit. How can we work well together if all we ever do is fight?”

“Have you failed a single project since seventh grade?”

Maya paused and thought about it. Every project that she had done since the seventh grade, Lucas had been a part of. “No, I don’t think I have.”

“You see?” Riley smiled triumphantly. “You work well together because you are so different, but also so similar. I think you just need to communicate and you will do great on this project. Colton is lucky to have you two as parents.”

“Cole,” Maya said trying to hide her smile. “I’m gonna call him Cole. I think it’s cuter.”

Riley smiled and nodded. “Cole Friar. I like it.” The two threw away the paper towels and walked back to the lunch table together with Maya feeling much better about her partner than she had earlier that day.


When the end of the day came around, Lucas followed Maya to her locker. They hadn’t had any more incidents since lunch with Cole and Lucas had washed the mashed potatoes off of him, so they were both rather relaxed. Maya had begun putting her books away when the baby started to cry for the second time that day. Lucas held him out at arm’s length as Maya had done earlier and began to panic.

“I don’t want him to puke on me,” he said frantically. “Is he gonna puke?”

Maya shrugged her shoulders and grabbed her bag, shutting her locker. “I don’t know, Lucas! Do I look like a fake baby expert to you?”

“Well what do I do?” Lucas began to try bouncing the baby to get it to quiet down, and miraculously it worked.

Maya narrowed her eyes and pointed at him. “How did you do that?”

Lucas looked just as shocked as she did. “I have no idea. My mom told me once that I was a colicky baby and that she used to have to rock me a lot, so it was kind of just instinct I guess?”

Maya smirked and patted his shoulder condescendingly. “Look who can be all paternal if he wants to!”

Lucas rolled his eyes and tried to hand the baby off to Maya. “Here, it’s your turn to take care of him.”

Maya scoffed and shook her head. “I don’t think so Huckleberry. I have an important art piece that I need to finish by tomorrow to get it submitted into the art show, so you’ve got junior for the day.”

“But Maya, I have baseball practice. I can’t exactly look after him if I’m taking ground balls now can I?”

She narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips, a sign that Lucas had learned to mean that she wasn’t backing down any time soon. “You just said it yourself. Practice. This is potentially my future on the line with this art show and this piece is very crucial to it. Now take the damn baby to practice with you and stop complaining.”

He stepped closer to her instinctively, eliminating almost all space between the two and leaned his head down so that he was face to face with her. “This is my future on the line too, Maya. I need to work hard get a baseball scholarship and that means working hard at every practice. I get that your art is important, but so is my future. Not everything is always about you, you know?”

She smiled angelically at him. “You’re right, it’s not always about me.” And then she stomped on his foot so hard that he actually had to hold back a yelp of pain. “Take the damn baby to practice and get over yourself Hopalong.”

when I first saw the newest pic I was confused because sbb is louis but he had the chef hat and then it hit me that oh my god louis made the homemade mash, they’re literally shading a potato while incorporating larry moments