oh my god just stop it

Larries vs the Music Press

This is my favourite Larrie post EVER!!!!!!!!

I knew they knew fuck-all about music journalism and how artists interact with the press, but this is just another level!! 

This is like Stockholm Syndrome…on the one hand Bromo and her pals are like, “FREEEEEE THEM!!!!’, and then when there is clear evidence that Harry is “free” and spending days chatting openly to one of the most successful rock journalists of all time for a Rolling Stone feature, they’re like, “OH MY GOD WHO IS GOING TO STEP IN AND STOP HARRY FROM ANSWERING HONESTLY??!! HE CANNOT SAVE HIMSELF! HE MUST BE MANAGED AND THE STORY MUST BE CONTROLLED!!”

Amazing :) I’m cackling in my kitchen!

Mom - Auston Matthews

Requested by anon: Hello!! I love your writing!! Do you kind writing a Auston Matthews imagine where he introduces the reader to his family and his mom doesn’t like the reader so she has to try to win her over?? Hopefully that makes sense!!! Thanks so much!!!

A/N: I’m so sorry it took so long, I’m awful. I hope you like it!

Word count: 1432

Warnings: None. I think. I mean, momma Matthews is mad.

Master list

Originally posted by wonthetrade

“Oh my god (y/n), stop cleaning,” Auston whines from his spot on the couch. “You are going to wear out the floors if you keep vacuuming.”

I grunt, hitting his feet with the nozzle until he gives in and puts his feet up on the table that I have just wiped.

“Auston, put your feet down!” I scold him and he rolls his eyes, putting his feet on the floor after I’ve vacuumed under them.

“I don’t understand why are freaking out. It’s my family, not the Queen of England.” He says, looking down at his phone.

Yeah, it is easy for him to say, but I’m about to have a mental breakdown. I’ve been dating Auston for five months now and it’s been great so far,ut when he told me that his family is coming to visit from Arizona I got into full crazy mode. I’ve cleaned his house at least ten times in the last three days, bought fresh flowers, changed all the sheets and made beds for everyone, got snacks and food for everybody… And I’m more anxious by the minute.

“I don’t have to impress the Queen of England.” I mutter, dusting the top of the TV again.

“They are going to love you, (y/n).” Auston says, getting on his feet and wrapping his arms around my waist while I straighten a pile of pucks that are sitting on the TV stand.

“I hope so.”


 

I look at the mirror one last time, looking for flaws on my outfit. Auston and I decided that it would be best for me to meet his parents and sisters at dinner so he could spend time with them first. We are going to Auston’s favorite steak house. I decided that a pair of jeans, a nice blouse and booties would be an okay outfit, it was simple and it didn’t scream I tried too hard.

“C’mon (y/n), you can do this.” I cheer at my reflection, grabbing my keys from the small hooks on the wall and stepping out my small apartment.

The steak house isn’t far away from my place, so I decide to walk there. It only takes me ten minutes to get there and I’m five minutes early… that’s good, right? I’m early… I didn’t make them wait… I’m so worried about causing a good impression that I don’t even realize that they are here until Auston touches my arm.

“(y/n).” My name rolls in his mouth, waking me up from my trance. “(y/n), these are sisters, Alexandria and Breyana, and my mom and dad, Ema and Brian.”

I smile, extending my hand to shake everyone’s hands, but Breyana walks up to me and hugs me leaving me speechless for a second.

“It’s so nice to meet you, (y/n). “ She says, rubbing my back with her hands. “Auston doesn’t stop talking about you.”

I feel like I’m blushing and I give everyone a shy smile, earning smiles from everyone but Ema.

“Let’s get inside.” Ema’s accent is thick, but it is easy to understand.

I sit between Breyana and Auston, Ema in front of me. We order our drinks and Auston and I give them time to choose what they want from the menu; Auston and I already know what we want. I can’t help it but to smile when Brian orders for Ema so she doesn’t have to repeat herself if the waiter doesn’t understand her the first time around.

“So (y/n), what do you do for living?” Brian asks, taking a sip of his beer.

“I’m a student.” I answer. “Sports management.”

I don’t realize that I’m nervous until Auston puts his hand on my leg to stop me from jerking it any longer. I look at him and he gives me a reassuring smile, squeezing my thigh softly.

“Oh, so you are planning on working with athletes! She could be your manager, Aus!” Alexandria says cheerily and I smile, shaking my head.

“Auston doesn’t need a new manager.” Ema’s voice is sharp; she almost sounds mad.

I look at her, trying to decipher if she is actually annoyed or not. She is looking straight at me, a frown visible on his face.

“I actually want to work with teams, not athletes.” I say, nervously playing with my rings.

“I’m sure that Auston could help you get into the Maple Leafs team.” Brian comments and Ema’s frown deepens.


 

I’m sitting next to Ema watching the game. Auston has got tickets for all of us, even thought I told him that it wasn’t necessary, that I could get my own ticket. To be honest, I don’t want to be here; I can feel Ema’s discontent with me from a thousand miles away. I’ve tried to make her like me… not even like me, tolerate me, for the last three days and nothing has worked.

The game is tied to one with only two minutes left on the clock. I try to focus on the game, but I’m too busy trying to be as invisible as possible, answering Brian, Breyana and Alexandria’s questions with the smallest amount of words as I possibl can so I don’t say anything that can upset Ema any further. I’m so focus on barely breathing that I don’t even realize that Auston has scored until everyone have jumped off their seats. I get on my feet and applaud, trying to ignore Ema’s disappointed look.


 

“I’m going to bed.” Auston says, getting up from the couch where he is sitting and kissing my temple. “You staying?”

“No, I should leave.” I say, shaking my head and he frowns but doesn’t say anything else.

“Good night, everyone.” He kisses his mom and sisters good night and walks to his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

Before I can get up and leave Breyana, Alexandria and Brian excuse themselves as well and go to their rooms, leaving me alone with Ema. I sit there, trying to figure out what to say or do.

“I think that you should go.” Ema says. “For good.”

“For good?” I wonder, feeling sick on my stomach.

“Yes, before you hurt my son.” Her answer stinks deep inside my soul.

“I would never hurt your son on purpose.” I defend myself, getting on my feet. “I love your son.”

“You love his money, his fame and his contacts.” Ema’s accent is even thicker when she is mad and I feel even sicker than before.

“I have never asked him for anything, Ema. Neither do I want him to find me a job.” I say, rising up my voice. “We met on the coffee shop I work on. He kept coming and coming and coming, asking for a large Americano and my number and he didn’t stop until I agreed to give him my number and go on a date with him. Yes, I knew who he was, if I would have wanted to take advantage of him I would have agreed to go on a date the first time he asked.”

Ema and I stare at each other for what it seems like years, trying to read each other’s expressions. It doesn’t seem like Ema has anything else to say, so I grab my coat from the back on the chair it is on and walk towards the front door when I hear her.

“(y/n)… you should stay.” She says and I turn around. “I’m making churros for breakfast.”

I look at her again, but she seems sincere so I nod and hang my coat on the entry’s closet and take my boots off, leaving them on the shoe rack.

“Good night, Ema.” I whisper, realizing that I’ve been yelling all the time.

“Buenas noches, mija.” She answers, giving me a shy smile.

I open Auston’s door and step in, shutting it behind me and leaning on it.

“Come here, baby.” Auston says from the bed, patting the spot next to him. “My mom is scary when she is mad.”

“No kidding.” I say, taking my jeans off and getting in bed besides him.

“Make your banana pancakes for her tomorrow and she will fall in love with you.” He tells me, wrapping his arms around my body.

“That’s how I made you fell in love with me?” I wonder, laughing softly.

“Pretty much.” He jokes and I hit his chest. “I love you, (y/n). And my mom will love you too, just give her a little time to stop being overprotective over his baby boy.”

“She won me over when she said churros, to be honest.”

anonymous asked:

M,P,U for Zach please

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

When you kiss his neck, you do that and Zach is instantly up for anything.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast and Rough, definitely. Zach isn’t really used to being slow and sensual during sex, if you wanted to he would, but he prefers being fast and rough.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh my God! I’ve thought about this so fucking much. He would take so fucking long to tease you. You would practically threaten him to stop. He’d totally be the kind of guy to like tease you almost to the edge and then just walk away, leaving laying there, like steam coming out your ears.

trenangelle  asked:

My bank accounts gonna hate me with everything i've been ordering lately, but it sure ass hell ain't gonna stop me from getting a baseball sleeve Red Lions Hockey shirt in red. Just ordered it bahahaha

holy fuck y’all are moving fAST OH MY GOD

but thank you oh my goD!!!!!!!! please take care in saving your money soon tho!!!

hyukjaei  asked:

oh my god i have no words i got the biggest heart attack when i saw you deactivated and now im just cackling. i've been a fan of your content since aff days and I seriously thought you stopped??? im glad you're okay and well and im so excited to see where you're going from here (even though I never really participate it's really nice seeing a creator you've admired for a long while still kicking it!) love you loads 💙

omg wow you’ve followed me since my Dark Era,,, thank you for your support fklakfl c: <3 

hyperioncompanyman  asked:

Haha yes. Rhys getting tackled by his boys and getting bounced upon a little when he comes home. "MOM WE WANT TO BE VAULT HUNTERS!" "YEAH! GONNA SHOOT BAD GUYS AND EVERYTHING!" "EXPLOSIONS!" "LASERS!" and the Digis are like "Don't forget the jump pads!" "And the butt slams!" Cyrus and Jaxen are so excited and so are the Digis. New Vault Hunters yes! Rhys probably being like "Tim get your two digital boys to stop putting ideas into my kids heads. Too young for that."

god yes Rhys gets mobbed by excited children who want desperately to be vault hunters now thanks to the digis. and Rhys just kind of glares at them like Oh God Why now I have to deal with this gently

those digis boys dont understand the concept of mortal danger and theyre just like YEAHH LETS GO VAULT HUNTING even though theyre dealing with a 5 and a 7 year old who can barely hold a gun properly 

cotton-candy-raptor  asked:

Dude, your art is the shit, I wish I could draw like you

Your! Art! Is! So! Good! Oh! My! God!
I looked through a bit of your art tag and I’m REALLY impressed!
Your anatomy and overall sketching is awesome!
I don’t see why you’d wanna draw like me, my art is messy and a bit inconsistent ;;
It’s all about practice, I guess!
Your starting off at a GREAT point, just keep going and don’t stop!
Practice makes absolute perfect!!

I was rewatching “Escape from Beta Traz” and like this fucking scene

Pidge is just like “Lance, you’re gonna need to get a scan of his face” like it’s the easiest thing in the world and if it were any other idk SANE person they would’ve at least been like “wtf pidge have you seen this guy like he’s terrifying and also how the fuck am I gonna scan HIS FACE from this distance hidden away without him fucking noticing me”

But Lance, CLASS CLOWN LANCE, just says “Copy that” and gets down to business

HE IS A SHARPSHOOTER IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE I MEAN HE REALLY ONLY HAS LIKE A 3 SECOND WINDOW TO AIM AND SCAN FROM THIS DISTANCE

HE SHOOTS THIS BLINDING ASS LIGHT WITH ZERO HESITATION AND LIKE

IN 0.00001456933 SECONDS THIS BITCH TURNS AROUND

But Lance used his fast leggys and hid himself like wtf I’m so proud of him. He is so smart and good and has amazing reflexes and is a quick thinker and doesn’t hesitate when people need him.

And he is like so relieved that he actually did the thing but doesn’t gloat or bask in his moment he just sends Pidge the face like NO PROBLEM “Face on the way Pidge” THAT WASNT RISKY AT ALL. WHATEVER. ALL IN A DAYS WORK.

MY SON GETS SHIT DONE AND THIS MISSION WOULD HAVE COMPLETELY FAILED WITHOUT HIM FOR SO MANY REASONS

Stuff My Dad Said During Hamilton (Act 1)
  • Hamilton: Is this that musical that has made you obsessed with dead people?
  • Aaron Burr, Sir: If someone started rhyming my name I would leave. It's so annoying.
  • My Shot: Okay they asked who he was - this - this is not the answer to their question. Oh wait now he's spelling his name - YOU KNOW IN THIS TIME MANY PEOPLE WERE ILLITERATE!
  • The Story Of Tonight: Okay so here's drunk dudes being pals and so not flirting with each other.
  • The Schuyler Sisters: AND PEGGY IS MY NEW MOTTO!
  • Farmer Refuted: You said this was the High School Musical dude right? (Me: Yeah.) STICK TO THE STATUS QUO ALEXANDER!
  • You'll Be Back: Okay George whichever shut up and let America rebel. Rebellion is good - *turns to me* That being said ever start to rebel and you'll be grounded till you die.
  • Right Hand Man: Burr got BURR-NED! Get it? Cause Burr. Burrned. It's funny you're just being stupid.
  • A Winter's Ball: Didn't we already listen to - oh wait no this is different.
  • Helpless: Oh God I hope girls don't act like this. *I give him a confused/dirty look* I mean you should make a boy beg for you not fall at his knees. You should make him helpless.
  • Satisfied: This song is just....*exploding hand moves and noise*....Feelings.
  • The Story of Tonight (Reprise): Another drunk song. And the French dude. (Me: Lafayette) Okay well I'm gonna call him French Fry.
  • Wait For It: Did everyone cheat in this time?
  • Stay Alive: Fucking Charles Lee man. Who's Charles Lee?
  • Ten Duel Commandments: They keep saying "Most Disputes Die And No One Shoots" I feel like they're lying to me...
  • Meet Me Inside: Uh ph, Daddy Washington is mad.
  • That Would Be Enough: How do they know it's a boy? I don't think they had ways to tell in this time.
  • Guns And Ships: Rap off. This dude (Me: Daveed) Yeah him, versus like, Eminem, Jay-Z and...uh other rappers.
  • History Has Its Eyes on You: Okay this went from fun to deep...
  • Yorktown: You know we live an hour from this site...*Looks out window*...We should go and reinact this.
  • What Comes Next: Oh right. Georgey is still there. He can piss off.
  • Dear Theodosia: I feel one of them will die...just how everything is worded. AJ, do I get...feels in this?
  • Lauren's Interlude: Wait what the fuck...is he? Oh my God. Alex's boyfriend!
  • Non-Stop: This is too cheery for killing someone. I quit.
BRUH OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED ALL VILLANS HAVE ONE THING IN COMMON

THEY ARE ALL YELLOW. SERIOUSLY LOOK.

Originally posted by hetsura


Originally posted by parkersimmonsyall


Originally posted by br00kie-draws


Originally posted by steven-weeb

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS NOTICED THIS WIZARDRY???! Edit: Holy fuck 550 notes what is this I am honestly freaking out my notifications are blowing up stop reblogging this
  • Yuuri: ok y’all how do i ask a boy out
  • Phichit: roses are red, violets are blue
  • Phicit: guess what, my bed
  • Phichit: has room for two
  • Yuuri: OH MY GOD NO
  • Phichit: twinkle twinkle little star
  • Phichit: we can do it in a car
  • Yuuri: STOP IT
  • Phichit: row, row, row your boat
  • Phichit: gently down the stream
  • Phichit: merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
  • Phichit: i can make you scream

HE

so i just watched the video the leafs put out about violence against women and homophobia.
i watched it twice.
to say i am shell shocked is the most base description of my emotions right now.
i spent just about ten minutes crying and am still tearing up occasionally.
do you all know how many people follow the leafs? whether theyre on tumblr or not, whether its a casual following or an obsessive following, do you all know HOW MANY PEOPLE this video could reach?
that’s millions of people watching a video of two of their alternate captains, a star defenseman, and a man whose literal job it is to fight on ice, shouting down violence against women. pledging to empower the women in their lives. casually (it was only mentioned once, by morgan rielly) but firmly shutting down homophobia. promising to stand with us as allies.
hockey is a lot of things for a lot of people on this site. for me it’s always been a safe place, discourse and occasional toxicity aside.
nothing has ever made me feel more grateful, or more validated in my chosen safe space, than this video. and maybe thats dramatic. maybe thats stupid. but my team, and one of my role models, just showed that they are, without a doubt, on my side, and as much in my corner as i am in theirs.
and that? that means everything to me.

Our Half-Orc just fought a lady Elf Warrior, and attempts to seduce her.

Half-Orc: can I take her back to the inn?
DM: Persuasion roll.
(He rolls, and makes it)
Dark Elf: I feel like you need to roll for erection too dude.
Me, a Halfling: No stop–
DM: NO roll for erection oh my God.
Me: What would that be?
DM: nature…?
Wood Elf: No, performance.
Dark Elf: Persuasion again?
Me: Nah. Definitely Animal Handling.
(Everyone loses it)

(He later seduced the woman successfully and had to roll for stamina, if you catch my drift.)

That podium scene
  • <p> <b>Yuuri:</b> Enjoying the view?<p/><b>Yuuri thinking:</b> hell yeah nikiforov, I'm finally on top of you in this fucking podium. Wooo, look at me win gold while you have fucking silver. What you gonna do about it, huh? Nothing because I'm the champion here while you're just a loser looking at me from below.<p/><b>Viktor thinking:</b> oh my god he caught me staring at him. He caught me staring at him! Shit, this is so embarrassing *blush* but wait, he's flirting with me. HE'S FLIRTING WITH ME!!! Oh shut up Chris, stop laughing. This is so embarrassing uwaaah!<p/></p>