oh my god it looks awful

anonymous asked:

hey you're really nice! have a good day

aw thanks!!

  • [pulls sheet on like a cape] [glares] “look i’m zarkon”
  • *allura voice* “so if you could please take us to your leader- paladins why are you laughing”
    • pidge: “…oh my god….. we’re the aliens”
  • shiro purposefully cuts the right sleeves off his shirts so he can intimidate enemies with the robot arm
  • coran is the castle’s reigning video game champ
  • lance to the alien he just rescued: “hunk is the best. he’s super strong but so gentle. he’s like an enormous, muscular ellen degeneres”
  • space puns are banned
    • this is 30% because of lance’s bad space-themed pick up lines and 70% because of hunk
    • “hunk if you tell one more stupid joke-” “okay okay, i’ll stop, i’m… star-y”
  • keith, in galra captivity: “maybe we could blow up the hull?” hunk: “oh awesome plan! just one tiny problem - and follow me closely here the science is pretty complicated - if we blow a hole in the hull the air won’t stay inside anymore and we kinda sorta need that to live keith”
I came up with a “humans as aliens” scenario on the bus and now I’m writing a story snippet.

Karikki was sitting in the ship’s mess when the most recent addition to the crew stumbled into the room and collapsed into a chair with a relieved groan, dropping her head onto the table.

“Rough shift?” ie said, making a sympathetic noise as ie broke off another piece of ir food pack.

Melanie Dupré, recently hired on as a ship’s mechanic and as of one month ago the only human crewmember of the Xanaki Star, mumbled something into the table before lifting her head so that her translator could actually be of use.

“I could swear the ventilation ducts actually hate me personally,” she said. “I’ve been running around all day.” A look of horror crossed her features then, and she groaned again, dragging her hand across her eyes. “And I left my food packs in my room. Goddamn it.”

Karikki churred soothingly. “Don’t worry about it, you can have one of ours,” ie said, getting to ir feet and digging one of the vacuum-sealed silver packs out of the pantry.

Melanie made a noise that Karikki had learned to interpret as grateful and peeled the pack open, looking down at it dubiously. “You’re sure this is okay?”

“We’re nutritionally compatible!” Karikki said. “The captain checked, before we hired you on. Just in case you ran out of your own supplies. It should be fine.”

“Okay. Thanks,” she said, breaking off a square of the compressed nutrition block and popping it into her mouth.

A look crossed her face then that it took Karikki a moment to identify: disgust, ie realized. That was disgust–which was made all the clearer when Melanie gagged and grabbed a napkin, spitting the square out into her hand. “Oh my god,” she said.

Karikki could feel ir antennae fluttering anxiously. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Is that a bad texture for humans?”

Melanie wiped her mouth, scrubbing at her tongue with the side of her hand. She shook her head. “No, the texture’s fine, it’s just like one of our protein blocks. It’s the [——], I’m sorry, I don’t mean to offend you, but it’s awful! How can you eat that?”

Karikki flicked ir ear. “Sorry, say that again? I think your translator cut out in the middle. It’s the what?”

“The [——]. It [——] awful. I’m so sorry.”

Keep reading

3

I woulda given you the news but, y’know, you kinda made it clear you didn’t want to hear from me, so . . . 

jobetspot  asked:

#100 with Jungkook please! Thank you

I Got You On My Mind [Part 1]

Jungkook Soulmate AU

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven

Genre: Angst (ft. Fuckboy!Jungkook)

Summary: In a world where soulmates can share thoughts, you never imagined that the sweet voice in your head would belong to a guy like Jungkook.

Word count: 1.5k words

Originally posted by jungxook

You dropped your backpack beside you, and it landed on the ground with a loud thunk. Sighing quietly, you collapsed onto a beanbag (because your university was trendy enough to have them in the library) and tried not to cry. Your body sank into the soft material of the beanbag, and you wished you could just disappear.

The sunlight streaming in from the window beside you doused you in warmth, and soon you felt yourself slipping into sleep.

“Rough day?” a voice rang through your head. Your lips quirked into a smile, your earlier hardships completely forgotten.

It was a rare moment when soulmates shared thoughts. No one really understood the science of soulmates–the mechanics of thought-sharing, in particular. It was just a universally accepted phenomenon, and you thought it was beautiful.

Yeah, you could say that, you thought, hoping your soulmate would be able to hear you. Sometimes, all you got was a passing thought, and sometimes you were able to have conversations. There was only one limitation–you could never share your identity.

Still, you tried and tried and tried. You couldn’t wait to meet your soulmate.

“What happened?” your soulmate asked, his sweet voice making you blush. You thought his voice was the most beautiful thing you had ever heard, and you wondered if the boy was just as beautiful.

Just…life. University’s hard, you know? you replied. The little information you knew about your soulmate was this: he was around your age, also in university, studying music and dance, liked anime, exercised a lot.

“Trust me, I feel that,” came his response, and it sounded almost amused. “But you’ll be okay.”

For the next few minutes, you tried to think of something to ask him. You hoped he couldn’t hear your embarrassing thoughts. His thoughts were silent too, and you knew the connection had been lost.

Smiling sadly, you stood up and grabbed your bag. Your encounter with your soulmate, however brief, was enough to energize you. Ready to face the rest of the day, you walked out of the library. Your thoughts lingered back to your soulmate, and you wondered if he was thinking about you, too.


Your phone blared loudly, and you startled awake. Still disoriented, your heart thumped wildly as you searched blindly for your phone. Finally, you located it on your nightstand. Squinting at the bright screen, you saw that you had an incoming call from your roommate.

“Hello?” you mumbled, pressing your phone to the side of your face.

“Oh, shit, did I wake you up?” Jieun exclaimed, her excited voice too loud so early in the morning. “Well, since you’re up, we can talk! Y/N, you’ll never guess what just happened.”

You sighed, flopping back onto your bed. “So tell me,” you said blandly.

“You’re no fun,” Jieun pouted. “Okay! So. I just slept with Jungkook! Let me tell you, the rumours are true. He’s great in bed and he does this thing–”

“Wow! Cool!” you squeaked, quickly cutting her off. You did not need to know about Jieun–or Jungkook’s–sex life. “Is that a good idea, though? I know you’re low-key crushing on him, but Jungkook doesn’t do relationships, right?”

“He doesn’t,” Jieun confirmed sadly. “But maybe he’ll change?”

“I don’t know, Jieun,” you replied slowly. “Be careful, because with a guy like Jungkook, you’re only gonna get hurt.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” she snorted. You could hear rustling in the background as Jieun moved. “He’s a major fuckboy. I’m trying not to catch feelings, but he’s so damn hot.”

You grunted in agreement.

“Oh, Y/N, can you do me a favour?” Jieun asked suddenly. “I’m going straight to school from Jungkook’s flat. Could you bring me a change of clothes and, like, mouthwash or something?”

“Yeah, sure,” you yawned, getting up to go to Jieun’s room. “I’ll be at school in like an hour. Should I just meet you in the music building?”

Jieun was majoring in music, since she was such a great singer.

“Yep!” she chirped. “Thank you so much, Y/N. You’re the bestest friend ever!”


You walked aimlessly through the music building, a bag full of clothes and toiletries on your back, as you searched for the room number Jieun had sent you earlier. It was a practice room, and the hall you were moving through seemed endless.

In the distance, you could hear the sound of someone singing. As you continued forwards, the voice became clearer and clearer. The person had a beautiful voice. It was clear and melodious, floating softly through the air.

It tugged at the back of your mind, like a faint memory. It was almost like a weird sense of deja vu, and you struggled to recall why.

Then–it hit you.

This was the voice you had been hearing in your head your entire life–the one you had listen to transform over the years. Your soulmate was here.

Your heart thundered in your chest as you practically ran, following the sound of your soulmate’s beautiful voice. It led you to a door that was slightly ajar. Your soulmate was still singing, completely unaware that you were just outside the room, listening.

For a moment, you stopped, not entirely sure if you were ready to meet your soulmate. It was supposed to be the most beautiful moment in life, and it felt strange that your meeting wasn’t going to be spontaneous.

Still, your curiosity got the better of you. You peered through the crack in the doorway, searching for the owner of the voice.

Before you, Jungkook stood. His profile was facing you, the light from the window behind him highlighting his features. Jungkook was beautiful.

Then, you turned away. You could feel your heart breaking already. A guy like Jungkook didn’t believe in soulmates, if his sexual escapades were any indication.

So you left, locating Jieun’s practice room and placing the bag in front of it. As quickly as you had come, you exited the building, headed towards the library to drown yourself in work. You wanted to forget–forget who he was, forget about soulmates, forget about the future you had hoped for.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook’s voice suddenly spoke, clear in your mind.

You pushed his thoughts away, keeping your mind blank as possible as you hurried through the quad with your head cast down. You didn’t want to indulge in something you could never truly have.


You spent the entire day in the library, alternating between working and staring blankly at the textbooks in front of you. You had forgotten to eat that day, so when you finally staggered out of the library, you were exhausted and hungry. The walk home was quiet. The sun had set a long time ago, although you weren’t entirely sure what time it was.

Once you reached your apartment, you were surprised to find the front door unlocked. You and Jieun didn’t live in the best part of town, so you were always sure to lock the door whenever you came and went.

You turned the knob, and the door creaked as it opened. As you stepped through the threshold, you stumbled over a pair of shoes that were haphazardly strewn on the ground.

“Y/N!” Jieun exclaimed in surprise, sounding breathless.

At that, you looked up.

In front of you, Jieun was pressed against the wall, shirtless, as some guy was leaning over her, his lips attached to her neck. The guy turned towards you once he noticed Jieun’s stillness.

It was Jungkook.

“Oh my god, Y/N! I’m so sorry,” Jieun rambled, pushing Jungkook off her as she reached down to grab her shirt that had been discarded. “I thought you weren’t coming home tonight, since you were so late!”

“D-don’t worry,” you stammered, your voice wavering. You kept your eyes on Jieun, trying not to look at Jungkook. You could feel his heavy gaze on you. “I can stay with Rose or something, it’s not a problem. I’ll j-just leave–”

Suddenly, Jungkook was in front of you, pushing you backwards until your back hit the wall. His face was morphed into shock, even awe, before he schooled his features back into indifference. Jungkook peered over you, his large frame blocking your line of vision. You were forced to look at him, and his eyes were burning into you yours.

You’re my soulmate!?” he demanded, his normally sweet voice rumbling. The person he was in your mind was completely different than the boy who stood in front of you. “Answer me!”

“Yes,” you whispered, your voice faltering. You continued, your voice stronger, “I am.”

“Fuck,” Jungkook spat, leaning back. He stepped away from you, returning to the front door where he slipped into his shoes. Jungkook turned back to you, and when he spoke, his voice was cold. “I’m not the guy I pretend to be. So do us both a favour and stay the fuck away. Forget this every happened.”

With that, Jungkook exited the apartment, slamming the door behind him. You stood, back still against the wall. You could hear Jieun talking to you, but she sounded far away. But for the first time, your mind was completely blank.

You decided you hated the silence.

- Girl in Luv

Thanks for reading! I think I’ll continue this story…I hate sad endings. When I first imagined this story, it seemed like it could be a longer piece? Maybe I’ll rewrite it or make it a chaptered thing…what do you guys think?

anonymous asked:

*Whispers* your headcanons are the most beautiful thing on this entire planet, besides u, of course.

aw thanks babe

  • pidge: “sleep is for the weak” shiro, who sleeps maybe five hours a night and is a god damn hypocrite: “what no go to bed”
  • humans and alteans look similar but their anatomies are different in little ways that trip everyone up
    • “you’re telling me humans have thousands of taste buds?” “you’re telling me alteans don’t? because oh my god that explains the goo”
    • “a ‘belly button’? why do you have a button on your-”
    • “now what the heck would you need two lungs for? just seems inefficient if you ask me”
    • both species are convinced the other one is the weirder one
  • lance: “keith, we’re friends, right? buddies? bros? amigos? ‘bromigos’, if you will-?” keith: “keep this up and we won’t be friends for much longer”
  • *allura voice* “a princess is never late, everyone else is simply early”
  • lance hums theme songs from movies while doing things
    • mission impossible if he’s sneaking around
    • pink panther if he’s going under cover
    • sometimes the star wars theme if he’s just chilling on the observation deck
  • coran spent a whole year perfecting the art of snapping with gloves on
  • lance, crying: “why are you smiling??” hunk: “it’s just that this is the first time i’ve seen you look ugly and it makes me kind of happy”

Most of all though, it was you who I wanted to tell that I was hurting. You were the one I wanted to explain to that if I had my heart in my hands instead of my chest, I’d be able to watch it beat in pain to the beat of, “I’m hurting I’m hurting I’m hurting and you’re just watching”.

But no one wants to hear about the pain they’ve inflicted. One moment you’re telling me you love me and the next you can’t even look me in the eyes anymore and the next we haven’t talked in 3 months and oh god oh god how is this happening oh-

But it was still you I wanted to turn to, even though I knew that you weren’t part of the team anymore. I wanted to beg my heart to let it go, God please, there’s no point in beating for you anymore. But my heart’s never listening and my head’s awful at communication, so if you’re looking for a heart, another one to add to your collection, you know my house is the one on the corner of our favorite intersection.

—  It plays a song just for you
some ladynoir stuff
  • chat noir will drape himself over ladybug’s lap during the downtime on their nightly patrols and moan about how awful plagg is just for some head scratches from ladybug (let’s be honest, plagg taught the kitty well; complain and receive cheese/ladybug)
  • they once spent an afternoon atop the notre dame after an akuma attack critiquing civilian’s fashion choices. both learned that their partner has excellent taste in fashion.
    • ladybug: “oh my god is that a man bun? those things should be burned.”
    • chat noir: “who the hell wears crocs anymore? they look like shit, and they make your feel smell. god, shoes have three deciding factors: quality, price, and style. crocs have the rare combination of being expensive, poor quality, and being ugly. it’s quite a feat for one shoe to suck this much. i will judge anyone who wears crocs.”
  • ladybug uses chat noir as a mannequin to measure some of her designs during their downtime. 
  • there are frequent arguments over akuma names because some are too stupid to say aloud. ladybug believes in creativity and free will and vows to let the akumas keep the names they declare themselves with. chat noir files petitions to change many of them because he absolutely refuses to admit he nearly got beat by a Mr. Pigeon.
  • if ladybug and chat noir are literally anywhere together outside in public without an akuma, someone’ll always ask, “are you two together? are you on a date?”. chat has to hold ladybug back from clobbering them.
  • during their stakeouts, chat noir sings “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall” and has gotten to 1 before, even though it usually ends up with him getting pitched off a roof.
  • one early morning, there was an akuma battle, and chat noir learned that ladybug has bad bed head. he makes sure to keep a comb in his pocket now at all times for whenever there’s an early battle, and ladybug doesn’t have time to fix her hair before going to school. she doesn’t say it, but she’s really thankful. (also really jealous because tikki, pockets, give me pockets, god fucking damn it)
  •  one time there was a mermaid akuma in the seine and chat noir fell in the water and revealed he couldn’t swim. ladybug saved him and made him take swimming lessons. nothing beats coming to sunday morning swimming lessons and finding one of paris’s famous superheros with floaties and a kick board.
    • you can bet your ass that ladybug constantly makes “a cat to water” jokes every second she can.
  • ladybug keeps a tally of how many puns chat noir makes. his gets to 162 in one night before she sets a limit of 10 puns per day. he breaks it all the time and has to wear the Collar of Shame™ for the rest of the day, which is black collar with a huge pink bow. (ladybug thinks he secretly likes it).
  • chat noir actually hates ladybug’s puns and buys her the “Punning for Dummies” book for Christmas.
    • she gets him “31 Ways Not To Be A Douchebag”.
  •  ladybug doesn’t actually know how to use a real yo-yo. chat noir laughs for two weeks.
  •  ladybug and chat noir regularly attend movies as themselves because no one really knows why the superheroes are going to the movies, but it probably means there’s an akuma or something equally bad so let’s just not go. it just means they get the best seats every time.
  • sometimes when they’re really tired and stressed out, and ladybug is being bossy and chat noir is fed up with hearing it, he’ll say, “okay, deborah” which causes her to pitch him off the eiffel tower.
  • chat noir can never get into a hammock. he always flips over every time he tries to get on one.
  • one time ladybug flubbed a back handspring, and the news stations got it live. chat noir plays it on repeat for a week.
Sharing Is Caring

Originally posted by knightlley


Pairing: Jeff Atkins x Reader

Request: “Hey! Can you write a JeffxReader? Where the reader is Clay sister (and have a secret crush on Jeff), someday she was going to sleep in Hanna’s house, but for some reason she didn’t stay to sleep and when she go home she find Jeff slepping in her bed. You can choose how it ends. Thank you! :D”

Words: 1.247

A/N: I am happy that I received a Jeff imagine! Although I didn’t want to leave Hannah alone, because I can imagine the reader being on the tapes after because of it. Yup, I am a little bit paranoid. Sorry. Anyways, I hope you like it and I would be grateful if you send other requests!
Thank you.

- G. x

Link: Part 2

Warning: (Y/H/C) is Your Hair Colour.


“Oh my God, you seriously like Jeff Atkins?” Hannah exclaimed excitedly and energetically as she knew the secret you’ve been keeping for years.

“Who wouldn’t like him?” You stated as if it was normal to like Jeff. Well, he was good looking, kind and funny. He had the characteristics you were looking for a boy and you knew that he was the one when you met him.

“Aw, I hope he likes you back.” Hannah honestly said as she played with your (Y/H/C) hair while you both sat on her comfortable double bed. You decided to have a sleepover because it has been awhile since you last spent time together. She was one of your close friends and you loved her presence.

“Well, he’s older than me and I am out of his league.” You shrugged your shoulders as you felt a little bit down for what you’ve just said.

“Oh, cut it off! You are beautiful, intelligent and sweet, it is impossible to not fall in love with you.” Hannah comforted you as she praised you with her sincere words.

“Aw, Hannah.” You looked at her with a wide smile and you hugged her. “Thank you.”

“It was the truth.” She hugged you back as a nice friend she was.

“Talking of these boys,” You started as you broke the hug and she hid her face behind her hands as she already knew the next question. “how are you and my older brother, Clay?” You flashed a smirk and you saw her cheeks turned red.

“Oh my God, I knew it.” She laughed, still having her face hidden. “We’re friends, (Y/N). We work at the movie theatre and we talk at school, that’s it.”

“Jesus, Clay never asked you out?” You shook your head for your disappointment because you rooted for them being together. You considered Clay and Hannah as a perfect couple.

“He’s shy.” Hannah shortly answered.

“But it’s not an excuse! I would slap that dork silly, seriously.” You unleashed a long and deep sigh because Hannah seemed disappointed too and her being dismayed was one of the things you wouldn’t want to see. “I’ll talk to him, because I know that he likes you too, a lot!”

“Geez, really?” Hannah smiled widely and you nodded happily as her happiness came back once again.

“You can count on that!” You winked at her and she bit her lower lip. You stared at each other and you both let out some soft giggles for no reason, but it was interrupted as you heard some noise coming from the living room.

There was a discussion happening between Hannah’s parents and you could tell that she felt embarrassed for it. She hated it when they fought and having a friend hearing their complaints wasn’t one of the things that she wanted to happen.

“Are you okay, Hannah?” You worriedly asked and she just shook it off, obviously avoiding herself to ask you some help.

“(Y/N), do you mind if we cancel this sleepover?” She fidgeted with her warm blankets as she was nervous for your possible reaction.

“Oh no, it’s fine for me if you don’t feel comfortable. I mean, I would stay to cheer you up, but I will give you space if you want.” You sympathetically said as you understood her situation.

“I am fine, really.” She assured you. “I will call you if I ever need some help. Thank you.”

“Don’t bother to call me, okay?” You reminded her once again as you got up from her bed. You gathered your things and you put them in your backpack.

“Noted.” She smiled widely at you, not minding her parents anymore. She got up too and you both went outside her room as she led you to the house’s front door. Her parents stopped throwing shit at each other as they saw you going away and you could say that they felt guilty because of it.

“Good night, Hannah.” You sweetly greeted. “Call me or text me, okay? I am always here.”

“I know and I thank you for that.” She hugged you and you responded to it by hugging her back. “Good night.” She then let you go.

“Good night, see you tomorrow.” You said as you unlocked your bike’s chains. You then rode it as you said goodbye to Hannah once again. She watched you as you started to pedal way back home.

During your journey, you thought of Hannah’s family situation and you knew that it wasn’t your business but you wanted to help her. You wanted to help her, because you didn’t want for it to be one of the reasons she would feel sad or disappointed. Her life was already hard and you didn’t want for her to carry another problem on her back.

Once you arrived home, you silently went to your room, not wanting to wake anybody up. You plopped your things on your desk and you let yourself fall on the bed carelessly.

“What the fuck, Clay?!” You heard a deep voice complaining and you were shocked, mostly scared, for a moment. You were afraid to move, but you quickly searched for the lamp that rested on your bedside table and you turned the lights on. “Oh, it’s you (Y/N)!”

“What the hell are you doing in my room, Jeff?” You corrugated your forehead as you wondered why. You liked Jeff, but you knew that you had the right to be furious after what happened.

“Clay said that you were staying at Hannah’s!” Jeff sat up as he covered his shirtless body. “Boys can have sleepover too, duh!”

“Jeez!” You laughed even though you were annoyed. “I am sleeping on the couch downstairs then.”

“No, I am sleeping there. This is your bed and it’s not okay to let a woman sleep uncomfortably.” He ranted as he searched for his shirt and wore it soon after.

“It’s okay, Jeff. Stay here.” You flashed him a smile and you got up from your bed, ready to go out of the room.

“No!” Jeff protested. “We can share! It’s a double bed and I can sleep on one side and you on the other.”

“Hmm?” You raised an eyebrow as you considered his proposal.

“Only if it’s okay with you. If not, I am sleeping on the couch.” He smiled as he scratched his nape.

“Alright, I’ll share my bed with you.” You went back on the bed and you sat on your space. “Only because I don’t want for you to be uncomfortable, okay?”

“Alright, (Y/N).” You could bet that you saw him smirking before you turned the lights off.

“No malice, Jeff!” You slapped his muscular arm and he just let out a laugh. Oh, how much you loved that laughter. “Thank my parents because they taught us that sharing is caring.”

“I’m thanking Lainie and Matt tomorrow, don’t worry.” He jokingly answered and you just giggled because of it. “Good night, (Y/N).”

“Good night, Jeff.” You smiled while you had your eyes closed. You couldn’t believe it, so you had a hard time drifting in your sleep, same for Jeff.

You were happy that you had a chance to share the bed with your ultimate crush and both knew that you would wake up hugging each other, but who cares? You both liked each other, you just had no guts to admit it and this is a great coincidence to show the affection to each other.


5

oh god im sorry i stalked your blogs for references for like 2 hours 

@drawinggheys @raythrill @objectionable-code @terror-in-the-dream @bocitena @juuria @halpdevon @lauwurens 

so uh… how do i words , uhm… a lot of you dont know me– hell i think only three people here know who i am, but i really really like your art (and art styles) and i look up to all of you a lot, and i look for inspiration from you guys almost every day so uhm… oh my god everyone is just so beautiful, the style, the colors, the line density, the face shapes– I COULD KEEP GOING ON AND ON REALLY—- but i cant because this post is long enough as it is

there’s so many more people i want to add and thank for being such a wonderful sources of awe and inspiration but my shoulder is killing me and its currently an ungodly hour of the wee mornings so i ask for pardon

ah– anyway, bottom line, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING AN INSPIRATION keep doing what you’re doing and i hope you continue to grow and be happier with your art every new day that comes your way!

-Celi <3

P.S. btw if you’re uncomfortable with me putting up your style there please message me and i’ll take it down im sorry;;;;;

And just while I am apparently venting about personal shit with no mental filter, one of the things that has been really getting to me over the last few weeks is everyone complimenting me on my drastic weight loss, and whenever I try to articulate how god awful sick I was to lose 20lbs in six weeks, people either laugh and say “wow maybe I’ll try that diet” or “well you look better for it” like thanks Mabel, I hope you get sick enough to lose muscle mass too.

Today was the first day when we met up with friends, and when I was asked how I lost all the weight, the person responded with “oh my god, are you okay now?” 

Like that, that right there is the appropriate response to finding out your friend was throwing up everything except water for six weeks. Not “contgrats on being skinny”.

Healthy =/= thin. I’ve got friends who weigh double my current body weight who are healthier than me and will likely outlive my chronically sick ass by several years if not decades. Like God damn, y’all, tf is wrong with people.

anonymous asked:

Hey do you have more flirty rivals prompts?

1) “Well.” They stepped closer, trailing their hands down the other’s chest. “They do say you should know your enemies. And, believe me, before this week is out I’m going to learn everything there is to know about you. All your weaknesses, everything that makes you tick, all your sensitive little buttons.” 
“Now, now. You have to at least buy me dinner first. It can be your consolation prize for losing.”


2) “You have to get better, okay?” They kicked the side of the hospital bed. “It’s no fun when I can’t crush you.”
“That nearly sounds like concern.”
“It’s the medication, it’s giving you delusions.”


3) “You’re going down.” 
“On you? Let’s not pretend you could handle that without begging. We’re pretending you have dignity, remember?” 


4) “Anything you can do,” they sang in an annoying voice, “I can do better. I can do anything-” the kiss shut them up. Blanked their brain with the flare of want, of heat spreading through their chest. After a moment, they kissed back eagerly, only for their rival to pull back, teasing. Lips ghosting without satisfaction. “Can you kiss me better than that? Because oh my god the look on your face right now.” 
They pounced.


5) “You know, for people who apparently hate each other, you spend an awful lot of time getting up close and personal.”
“I don’t hate them, I hate losing to them. And everyone know closeness is used to establish physical dominance.”
“Yeah, yeah, sure. And what do the longing looks establish?” 

When putting together any kind of job spell, I always include items/herbs for four intents:

  1. Wealth - actual physical currency I can use to pay bills and buy food.
  2. Prosperity - long term ‘doing well for myself’ beyond just ‘having money for food and bills’, but really having at least the potential to Go Places
  3. Luck - because heck knows I need luck in job interviews and to get people to look at my resume and application
  4. Happiness - oh god, I didn’t include this in the first job spells I did, and LEMME TELL YOU, I wound up with a job that paid decently and had lots of potential for promotion, and I ABSOLUTELY COULD NOT STAND my boss or my coworkers, the work itself was awful, and I cannot describe the absolute dread that filled me before going in to every shift.

[Protip: Aventurine has all four of these properties]

Breathe

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,361

Cassie’s Classics Challenge - “I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.” Gone with the Wind @death2thevirgin

Summary: A family gathering at the Winchester household turns into an embarrassing mess for Dean and the reader. 


“Ha! Suck it, Winchester!” You boast obnoxiously, dancing around Sam in a circle. You just won the third air hockey game in a row and the feeling of victory never gets old.

“Just wait, Y/N. You’re awesome at air hockey but everyone knows you’re shitty at pool. And I can’t wait to kick your little ass!” Crouching down to your level, Sam condescendingly pats the top of your head with a shit eating grin.

“I can’t wait to see that, Sammy. Honestly. We all know you need some confidence…since that hot girl Erica shot you down. Must hurt the ego.” You giggle at his bitch face before bolting out of the game room. You may be ridiculous but you’re not crazy, Sam’s go to move when annoyed is chucking his drink at you.

Growing up across the street from the Winchester family has equipped you to easily deal with the two brothers in any scenario. It definitely comes in handy knowing which buttons to push.

Keep reading

You ever notice how PLAYING overwatch ruins overwatch characters for you?

Mei
Before: Awe, she’s chubby and cute
After: FUCKING FROZEN HELL SPAWN!

Junkrat
Before: He’s so dopey looking and cute! what a precious dirt boy!
After: STOP BLOWING ME UP!

Phara
Before: So strong and dignified!
After: STOP BLOWING ME UP FROM THE SKY!

Tracer
Before: Oh she’s so cool! she’s like the flash!
After: OH MY GOD STOP MOVING SO ERRATICALLY AND JUST LET ME SHOOT YOU!  

Bastion
Before: The best baby boy! he’s just an innocent bot!
After: YOU MECHANIZED DEMON!

Symmetra
Before: Cunning, looks unassuming but has an edge.
After:

When they don't finish the fic

Me: ahh I NEED TO READ A FIC! Oh this one looks good!

(5 hours and 34 chapters later)

Me: Oh my god this is AWES- it’s unfinished…when’s the next chap- NO

Last updated: January 2010

Me: oh just FUCK OFF! WHY WHY DID YOU DO THIS?! they didn’t kiss yet?! THEY DIDN’T EVEN KISS WHY I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THIS TRANSGRESSION AGAINST ME I HATE EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW WHATS HAPPENED! Never mind I will never read fanfic again! I swear ao3 you are dead to me.

(2 minutes later)

Me: oh this fic looks interesting…

anonymous asked:

Super important prompt: what was the boy squad doing leading up to Isak's insta post.

This is super important, which is why I have bumped it up on the list. Okay here we go. 

“This is a terrible idea” Mahdi states as the boys walk around the corner to kaffebrenneriet. 

“What the fuck?” Magnus screeches “this is a great idea. Trust us man.”

They all pull a chair out and sit at a table outside near one of the windows to the cafe. 

Isak licks his lips before nodding “Mahdi was right. This is a terrible idea.” 

Jonas laughs and shakes his head “oh come on don’t act like my ideas have never worked before.” 

“yeah but this time it’s half Magnus’s idea” 

“EXACTLY!” Mahdi exclaims already getting up from his chair. 

“Mahdi sit down” Jonas orders, trying desperately to calm the squad down. “it’s gonna work.” 

Mahdi reluctantly sits back in the chair with his shoulders slumped as he chews on his lip anxiously. 

“So which one is she?” Magnus asks grinning. 

“shhhh can you try to be less obvious?” 

Isak and Jonas raise their eyebrows at each other because they both knew the answer was no and that Mahdi was head over heels. 

“Is it her?” Jonas asked, nodding at a brunette clearing a table next to them. 

Mahdi shook his head. 

“What about him?” Magnus asked pointing straight at a guy taking someones order. 

“Nei Magnus” 

Jonas and Isak laughed 

“What I can’t remember if you said it was a girl or not. and he’s hot right Isak?” 

Isak leant back in his chair with a smug smile painted across his face. “nah not my type.” 

“You’re so whipped man.” Jonas shook his head grinning proudly at his best friend. 

Isak shrugged, smiling. 

“oh wait is it her?” Isak asked as he spotted a blonde girl. 

“oh my god you guys are awful at this.” 

“she’s pretty though.” Jonas said. 

“yeah hot!” Magnus agreed. 

Isak squinted his eyes and angled his head like he was looking at an abstract painting he just couldn’t get. 

“I think i’m too gay for this.” 

The boys roared with laughter, the warmth of the joke making Mahdi finally relax a little. 

Suddenly a short girl with glasses, wearing an army jacket under her apron, and her purple hair tied up in a bun on the top of her head walked out with a tray of coffees. 

“that’s her” Mahdi mumbled. 

“what?” Magnus asked confused 

Mahdi’s eyes nearly fell out when he stared at Magnus trying to convey what he meant “that’s heeerrr” he said between his teeth. 

“ahhh” the boys sang together. Mahdi rolled his eyes at how long it took them. 

Isak smiled “She’s cool.” 

“And cute” Jonas agreed. 

Mahdi smiled “yeah we met at a save the planet meeting” 

they all stared at him. 

“What? I care about the environment!” 

“Sure you do…” Jonas smirked and rolled his eyes “just like Even cared so much about kossegruppa.” 

Isak ignored him “anyway what’s the plan then?” 

Jonas and Magnus looked at each other in silence. 

“Hello? Plan?” Mahdi pressed, getting anxious. 

“ugh well…” Magnus began 

“This is as far as we got.” Jonas finished. 

Mahdi facepalmed “you have got to be kidding me.” 

“it’s not our fault! We were planning on Even being here to you know, take over…” Magnus said. 

“Yeah where the hell is he anyway?” Jonas asked Isak. 

Isak grinned cockily “i’m making him study for his math exam.” 

“Making him?” Mahdi asked

“How the hell could you-” 

the moment Isak’s cheeks turned pink the boys chuckled as Jonas waved his hand in the air, shaking his question away. “nope nevermind, I don’t want to know.” 

“Okay” Isak said, clapping his hands ready to take over. “this is what we’re going to do.” 

“Quick does anyone have any asprin?” Jonas interjected. 

Isak glared “that’s not my only move jackass.” 

“How about you go up to her and tell her-” 

“No Magnus” the boys said simultaneously. 

“Okay, Mahdi, you go and order us coffee.” 

Mahdi stared at him.

Isak stared back

Mahdi raised his eyebrows. “That’s it?” 

Isak smiled “that’s all there is to it.” 

Mahdi groaned, “I can’t believe i’m doing this” before standing up. 

Jonas clapped as Magnus cheered and Isak threw his head back laughing. 

“you all suck” Mahdi said before walking in to the cafe. 

“so how do you think he’s gonna do?” Jonas asked as soon as he walked inside. 

“terrible.” 

“he’s probably gonna pass out before he gets to the counter.” 

Jonas shook his head “you guys are horrible friends.” 

“hey it took me and Vilde like months to get together! How long did it take Evak?” he asked Isak. 

Isak thought about it. “well, we nearly kissed 3 weeks after we met…actually kissed a week after that but then we weren’t official until…like what a month? or actually maybe-

“We get it. It was complicated.” Jonas interrupted. Isak replied by sticking his tongue out at him. 

“real mature.” 

“so yeah it’s realistic for us to assume he will bomb out the first few times. It’s just how it is.” Magnus said wisely, shrugging at his insightful knowledge. 

Finally after ten minutes Mahdi walked out with a plate of Waffles. 

“So how did it go? Isak asked, just as Mahdi shoved half a waffle in his mouth. 

“Oh! Good. We’re going out on friday.” he mumbled through the mouthful of waffle. 

Magnus’s chin nearly hit the ground “you got…you got a date?” 

Mahdi nodded confused “wasn’t that the plan?” 

Isak grinned “nice one Mahdi.” 

Jonas high-fived him. 

Magnus was still in shock. “but…but….it’s supposed to- you were meant to- what about bombing out?” 

the boys laughed. 

“oh and she gave me free waffles!” Mahdi said proudly, staring at the plate with heart eyes. 

“she’s definitely a keeper.”  Isak nodded in approval. 

“see Mahdi you should appreciate us. Look, our plan work.” 

“your plan sucked” he replied. 

Isak nodded “yeah it did.” 

Jonas rolled his eyes. “Shut up and lets take a photo to commemorate this moment.” 

the boys all huddled together. Jonas struggled with his phone “do i…do I stand here, or should it.”

Magnus pointed at the screen, “maybe if you flip it” 

“but then we won’t be able to see what we look like” Isak stated. 

“Will someone just press the button?” Mahdi said. 

“I think i’m pressing” 

“wait you’re pressing?” 

“Yeah i’m not sure but - oh shit it’s taking photos” 

“it’s taking photos?” 

“oh fuck it was on burst mode.” 

the boys looked through the photos together. 

“Yeah that looks about right.” Isak said 

the boys agreed in unison. 

“Who wants to go get pizza? I promised Even if he studied for his math exam I would bring him home some.” 

The boys all stared at him in surprise.

“What?” Isak asked. “What the fuck did you think I meant?” 

Mahdi shook his head “nothing.” 

“oh yeah nothing I totally thought you meant bribing him with food” Jonas said as they all began walking off. 

“What?’ Magnus asked finally catching on to the conversation 

“OH I thought you meant sex.” he shouted, earning a punch in the arm from Isak.