oh my god is he even real

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 4

It’s amazing to see how much we can create together, my amigos. Here’s part 4.

  1. “Look, I might be evil but even I have standards.”
  2. “Do your parents know you’re dating Death?” “No, I promised we wouldn’t get back together after he broke up with me the first time.”
  3. “Wait why am I naked and covered in cheese?”
  4. “Good god, that cake is fuckin stale and dry mate!!” “Just like how you are recently? Gee, thanks.”
  5. "There is always time for a high-five.”
  6. “Karen, what would ever posses you to find me here.”
  7. “Oh my god, put that man down! Come on, let’s go get you some REAL food.”
  8. “A demonic sugar glider?”
  9. “People always say they never thought they would be here but I absolutely did.”
  10. “And I thought I was a bit weird. But you! You are insane!”
  11. “So your hair knows kung-fu? Ha, that’s nothing! MY hair knows HAIR-ATE!” (You know, as in karate) (This used to be an insider between me and a friend…)
  12. “One day, darling, you and I are going to conquer the Universe not just our world.”
  13. “Did you seriously think they wouldn’t notice when their humans went missing?!”
  14. “Well, maybe next time you should consider that not everyone wants to be woken up at four in the morning by a- what IS that, anyway?!”
  15. “Now, how exactly did your foot get stuck in the barrel?”
  16. “I hope you realize what you’re doing. This forest never ends, you know that, right?”
  17. “You can’t just kill someone and then make it all better by saying sorry!”
  18. “Why the fuck is my cat levitating?!” “He said he wanted to feel what flying was”
  19. “You’re trying to tell me you killed three men…with a microphone?”
  20. “Hang on, are you a John Wick fan?”
  21. “IT’S TWO IN THE MORNING!” “And?” “ I have a strict no murder rule until eight. Call me then.”
  22. “I did realize you were going to be naked the whole time”
  23. “Ok, I understand you like animals, but you can’t just bring a tiger into the apparent without asking!”
  24. “I…I didn’t want you to find out like this. I’m so sorry.”
  25. “OH MY GOD CATHERINE! I JUST SAW A NARWHAL! I’M TELLING YOU, I SAW A FREAKIN’ WHALE UNICORN!”
  26. “I gotta go, I left my toaster in the oven!
  27. "Why is there a gaggle of fancy buisness men on my front lawn?”
  28. “Can you please stop referring to me as ____! That’s not my name!” “Then what is?” “I don’t know!”
  29. *Sarcastic* “Yeah, sure. I won’t at all mind being your footslave.” “Oh, goody! I knew you’d agree!” “Wait, what?”
  30. “When are you going to give up on this whole ‘evil’ thing?” “When it stops being so much fun!”
  31. “You didnt say to KILL the man!” “WELL I DIDNT SAY NOT TOO”
  32. “Mum, Dad… I’m gay.” “That’s nice, honey, but now is not the right time!”
  33. “Take a look at your soul and consider your life choices! Oh wait, that’s right! You don’t fucking have a soul!” “Oh, god, just go drown in a bathtub of syrup why don’t ya?”
  34. “I kindly ask you to please quit making your heart stop. It’s creeping me out!” “So… Y-You were sleeping in a coffin” “Yeah I’m used to it” “Are you a vampire or what?! How can someone get used to sleep in a coffin?” “No I’m used to sleep I never said that I’m used to sleep in a freaking coffin!”
  35. “Darling I love you, more than I can ever express in words…. But please stop teaching chickens necromancy.”
  36. “I wanted to know why you stole souls, not your melodramatic backstory…”
  37. “I really wish that old white man would stop rubbing his nipples at me”
  38. “You know it is written: Do not summon Satan, right ?”
  39. “Look around, what is this?” “My room?” “No, this is pathetic.”
  40. “I’ve been a professor for 20 years, and yet still my greatest secret hasn’t been revealed–I can’t read.”
  41. “Our souls don’t belong in these 'human’ bodies, every one of us is implanted here from another galaxy, and this has been the case for a thousand years. No one knows what 'actual humans’ are like without us inhabiting them.”
  42. “Did you just create a portal in time and space to pull another version of yourself into this world so I have to deal with another annoying idiot?” “No but thanks for the idea.”
  43. “You’re bleeding?!” “Nah, I’m frolicing in a field of flowers - yes I’m bleeding!”
  44. “Let me get this straight. I tell you that I make a decent omelette and you somehow equate that to qualification for piloting a spaceship?”
  45. “It’s the weekend! Let’s hit the town! See a concert, redo our wardrobes, get high, start a crime ring, I don’t know.”
  46. “Keep running, you’ve only got 4HP!”
  47. “This is clearly your first time. Stop screaming already, you’ll wake the neighbors!”
  48. “Has anyone seen the outdoors?” “What the fuck is an outdoors?”
  49. “Why do I feel like this again, I thought we were done with this?”
  50. “Look, as much as I like to hang out with you, I’ve gotta go and save the earth. Toodles!”
  51. “Have you seen?… oh shit”
  52. “Two questions: one, how many matches do you have, and two, where do you keep your socks?”
  53. “Because fuck surveys, that’s why!”
  54. “Stop yelling out the window or the koalas will rip your face off!”
  55. “I guess when I heard 'Night of Debauchery’… I didn’t picture muffins on your pajamas.”
  56. “Honey, you can’t keep throwing people to the pit of pain and despair just because they don’t like choc mint ice cream.”
  57. “Oh, no honey, put that back…”
  58. “It’s going to be too late, you know. It’s always too late.”
  59. “Hey, so, uh… I’m in trouble…” “What did you do this time?” “I got stranded in Wales….. again…”
  60. “OK, but… how do we get the dog out of a hole in space in time exactly?”
  61. “Aren’t people supposed to grow instead of shrink ?”
  62. “Wait. You’re aroused?” “Why would that surprise you?” “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  63. "I pay your taxes”
  64. “No, ____. We did not raise our hamster like this.”
  65. “You can’t run from your own shadow(s), what makes you think you can run from theirs?”
  66. “You adopted… a dog?” “Mate, that’s not a dog.”
  67. “And at this moment, he decided to punch himself in the face.” “Narrator, listen, I know you’ve been with me my whole life, but you’re a huge jerk.”
  68. “Why didn’t you tell me it was a portal BEFORE we ended up here?”
  69. “Is that…the Mona Lisa.” “…Yes…” “What did I say to you about stealing priceless artifacts!?” “…That I had to take you with me next time.” “Exactly!”
  70. “Yes, I agree, magic is pretty cool. But did you really have to use it for THIS?”
  71. “Despite the fact that was epic, you’re still suspended”
  72. “Chill, dad it’s not what you think it is!” “Well it looks like you’re making out with the demon your grandma banished to cellar…WHY IS HE IN YOUR ROOM?”
  73. “If you truly love me you’ll let me-OH FUCKING HELL DID YOU JUST STAB ME!?”
  74. “Spoon”
  75. “What began as a conflict over the transfer of consciousness from flesh to machines escalated into a war which has decimated a Million worlds.The ___ and the ___ have all but exhausted the the resources of a galaxy in their struggle for domination. Both sides, now crippled beyond repair, the remnants of their armies continue to battle on ravaged planets, their hatred fueled by over four thousand years of total war. This is a fight to the death. For each side, the only acceptable outcome is…“
  76. ”… I’m going back to bed. You brought it here, you can deal with the mammoth yourself.“
  77. "Is the food supposed to be moving?”
  78. “You mean to tell me that in the two minutes I was gone,  you bombed a minor country,  got married to a stripper,  and assassinated a world leader?!”
  79. “Is that a unicorn???? EATING MY BEEF JERKY?!”
  80. “Do I get to dream about you again tonight?”
  81. “Well now I have to change clothes AGAIN!”
  82. “All of this was because of a… OF A PLUSHIE?!” “Well…Yeah?” “Great, how are we going to get out of jail now?!”
  83. “So…you gonna tell me why my brother is upside down and why you’re wearing my purple thong?”
  84. “Did you really have to burn down another Cracker Barrel?”
  85. “Sir, that’s impossible, you can’t do that.” “IS THAT A FUCKING CHALLENGE?!?!”
  86. “We need to invade Portugal.” “…Sure, why not?”
  87. “Did you divide by zero?! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL”
  88. “Stand down, Milady, this is a matter between gentlemen with mustaches.”
  89. “Next time you get arrested I am NOT paying your bail” “That’s a lie and you know it.” “….”
  90. “I thought you were dead.” “So did I”
  91. “John dont flush the dog down the toilet”
  92. “What did I say again about resurrecting dictators??”
  93. “Cucumbers are NOT pets… what do you mean, you ate him??”
  94. “Are you and God seriously fighting right now? And what happened to Satan?”
  95. “Are ferrets supposed to be blue??”
  96. “I’m the protagonist? Well I guess that explains why I look like about a thousand other people.”
  97. “Why do I do this to myself?”
  98. “Stop eating your tortilla chips with ketchup. It’s unattractive.”
  99. “How do you eat an entire cheese wheel in one sitting?”
  100. “Why are God and Satan moving in with us?”

Let’s make one more ‘100 Dialogue Prompts’ list together. Leave a comment with your prompt below. Don’t forget the double quotes “”. And as always, only one prompt per amigo! Also, here is your random Dutch word of the day: pindakaas

AU where the Justice League forms like usual, except Batman maintained his “totally a myth” status and has in fact been active for years before the JL forms. He’s very cautious about trusting them, but still joins, and the others sort of accepts that as long as they trust that Batman has a really hard time with trust, it will all work out in its own weird way

Then, one day, in the middle of a JL mission, the League gets in a tight spot. Out of nowhere, this blue and black blur swoops in and saves everyone’s ass. Maybe breaking some shackles that were proving very difficult, maybe disarm a bomb that the League was just a hair’s breadth too slow to reach without help, but whatever happens, the shadowy figure pauses just long enough to say, “Hey, Batman, you know you there are these things called cellphones now and you can just call sometimes, it doesn’t have to be this dramatic?” and bounds away after shouting ‘let’s do brunch! Bring your new friends!’

Batman is mortified.

No one lets it go.

The entire rest of the mission, the whole League is asking so many questions. Who was that? Do you know him? How do you know him? What’s going on? I didn’t know there was a vigilante in this area?? They don’t let up until he talks.

“That was Nightwing.” Batman is mumbling. The JL forces him to bring them to the Brunch. Brunch happens to be in a run-down apartment on the edge of a bad neighborhood, at five in the morning, in costume. Nightwing introduces himself as Batman’s lovechild with justice.

“I did not realize Batman had a child,” Martian Manhunter says, calmly enough that no one’s sure if he’s accidentally plucking a really loud thought out of the air or if he’s trying to make a joke.

Nightwing stares for a moment falling over laughing. He doesn’t get up. Batman starts trying to apply anti-Joker venom but Nightwing just kicks him and laughs until he cries. He keeps trying to wipe his eyes and his mask keeps getting in the way, so he asks everyone to leave so he can please get a hold of himself

He is still laughing when they leave. Everyone is confused. Batman is furious.  Nightwing manages to breathe long enough to say, “We’re just so glad you’re socializing now, Batman.”

Superman turns to look at Batman very slowly. “…’we’?”

Keep reading

2

when your best bud has a crush on some edgy guy and starts a rivalry with him to hide the fact that he’s big time pining, but it’s not hidden at all because everyone already knows about it and is angry that he won’t drop the act oh my god lance just drop the act already. everyone knows. we all know. i know. shay knows. coran knows. the mice know. maybe even prince motor vehicle knows.

Some of the best things I’ve heard in Heathers rehearsal so far:

  • “Oh no! My shirt, where’d it go?” followed by really slow and awkward finger guns
  • “Free pizza, and we don’t even have to buy it a pussy!”
  • “Those stupid tree thumpers”
  • *dramatically pirouettes and leaps in* “BIG SWORDFIGHT IN HER MOUTHHH”
  • “Aww that seems like a relationship that would last.” “Yeah until one of them blows up” “I guess you could say their love is….. explosive”
  • *Our choreographer screaming like one of those sheep used in parodies back in vintage youtube days whenever she gets frustrated or needs to get people’s attention.*
  • “So you’re going to do a Jesus lift” “A WHAT” “Just put your arms out and they’ll lift you like you’re Jesus resurrecting from the cross”
  • “Welcome to Newsies on steroids.”
  • “Be the closeted gay we all need.”
  • “The first step to any good plan is murder.”
  • “How much bitch is enough bitch though?”
  • “Imagine having to explain to someone like ““oh how’d you break your tailbone?” ““Oh I booty-popped too hard.”” 
  • “When we go off to makeover Veronica, can she still have the monocle, but, hear me out, it’s now bedazzled.”
  • “I have to check the historical accuracy of bedazzling in the ‘80s.”
  • “Okay, but what if we made it gay?”
  • “COSTUME NOTE: SOMEONE MAKE RAM PARTY SLIPPERS!” “What if they’re like bunny slippers, but with tiny party hats?!”
  • “This is Ram, he’s not very nice, but somehow my best friend still wants to fuck him.”
  • “Your whole bio better be about how much you love and respect women or else I can’t help you when your ass is being kicked.”
  • “I paired you guys together because you say he’s your sort of boyfriend later.” *Kurt proceeds to emark in various sexual dance endeavors with multiple other women* “That’s where the sort of comes into play….”
  • “SHUT UP HEATHER” *bursts out crying*
  • Our original Chandler dropped out so our original Duke got promoted to her role and just looks at me and says “Oh my god this is the most Heather Duke thing that has ever happened to me”
  • “That’s a school cheer?!?!”
  • “Real question: WHO HAS A FUCKING LOCK ON THEIR CLOSET?”
  • “What if when she makes you spit up the pills, your wig flies off?” “Oh no you’ve discovered the real reason behind my crisis, I AM NOT A NATURAL BLONDE”
  • “Maybe he should take up knitting or something as a hobby rather than therapedic murder.”
  • “The saddest thing is that’s not even 3rd base”
  • “Veronica, you’re soaking wet!” *cue our assistant stage manager loosing her shit*
  • “My character description is just internal screaming.”
  • “Who needs a dance partner when you have weed?”
  • “I feel bad having to ask but was that supposed to be a dick joke?”
  • “Do I get extra points if one of the pills hits someone in the face?”
  • “I can’t remember the lyrics but I’m pretty sure I’m still gay”
  • “Why didn’t they just throw the bomb and run or something, like why are they so determined to die?” 
  • *recites Blue Reprise as demonic slam poetry because we didn’t have rehearsal tracks yet*  
  • “Veronica, it’s not a phase. I’m just naturally a slightly psychotic bag of angst with great hair.”
  • *music director teaching us Blue* ”They’ll curl up on your face. And purr like-” *slowly looks up from music and proceeds to put his head in his hands* “There’s moments that I evaluate my life and this is definitely one of them.”

And we’re still about 3 weeks from tech week

  • Pete: Hi
  • Brendon: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."
If you ever want someone's attention, send them this-

It’s summer of 2001; Joe meets Patrick and he’s like “Yo, I know about music.” and Patrick’s like “Yo, I know more about music” “That’s impossible. Do you wanna start a band?” And Patrick’s like “…Yeah… That’s cool.” And then he’s like “Yo, this is a book store, it’s not a music store!”

And then they met at Patrick’s house. And Patrick’s wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick is playin’ drums for some fuckin’ reason! And Pete’s there, for some reason! They start playin’ music together. And there like “Oh, let’s play some fuckin’ covers from some other bands!” It was like, Green Day and fuckin’ Misfits and fuckin’ Ramones! Pete said to Joe “Yo, we gotta change this shit up! Yo we’ve played all these bands; let’s play shit from Fall Out Boy.” And so Pete and Patrick are like “Yo, that’s dope. But we need a fuckin’ drummer!” Because Patrick’s playin’ drums and he’s a singer! And he’s like “Yo! I got a soul voice!” And there like “Wait, how do you have a soul voice!?!” And he’s like “Yo watch this! Yeah!” and they’re like “Oh my god! That sounds like soul!” So they put it in the song and it was like “WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIGHT!”

And then they’re like “Yo, this is fuckin’ perfect. This is Fall Out Boy.” And they made records like, Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. its called Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. Its called Eating Out Your Girlfriend, and its real and it doesn’t matter. And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like “Yo, what the fuck! Yo this is gonna be fuckin’ dope!” So they made a record, and it was called take this to your grave. They made it without a drummer! And they had like three, four drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like… Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from Toto… The fourth one was like the guy from papa roach or something. And they were like, “yo, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take this to your grave. Fuckin’ record it.” And he did it, and he killed it. He was like,Bigadigadigalalululapssshhhh! Killing the skins! Tapping the skins! Tapping the rims! Playing the shit! Killing these bitches! Wrapping it out!

“We should get signed, to Fueled by Ramen. ‘Cause these guys know what the fuck is going on.” And they were like “Yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin’ hard. We will sign you guys.” Pete was like ”Yo! We got this record that’s fuckin’ dope dude! It’s called Take This To Your Grave.“ Hey, its gonna be called From Under The Cork Tree, its gonna be fuckin’ huge. And then Patrick’s like “I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic. These are three songs that are gonna make the album and its called… This is called Thanks for the Memories, 20 Dollar Nosebleed, and Sugar We’re Going Down..” And they made this record that was fucking dope and it fucking hit on the charts.

Like one, two, three! Three, two one! Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! TEN TO ONE! From Under The Cork Tree sold like, four million records! Ten million records! Fifteen million records! And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. And Patrick was like “That’s good!” Pete was like “Yo, fuck you! I can do whatever I want!” Joe was like “Yeah, it’s cool man, whatever… I don’t give a shit.” And then Andy was like “Eh… Cool!” And Pete was like “Makeup is fuckin’ great for a guy. Because it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that.I wanna make sure everybody thinks that guys are beautiful.”

Pete was like “Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed about this dick pic!” And then I saw the dick pic, and I was like “Eh, it’s not bad. It’s not a bad dick. Let’s be real.” Panic! At The Disco made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy. And Fall Out Boy made the issue right after Panic! And they were so pissed! They were like “Yo, fuck you guys!” They were like “Yo! Panic has the cover of Rolling Stone!?! Yo, fuck these dudes, were gonna go fucking miles above! We’re gonna hit every fucking continent there is known to man!” But they didn’t! Because they missed a second of time, apparently. They were like “Oh, shit we got every continent.” And they didn’t actually hit it. Dude, Pete was like “What the fuck!” oh you didn’t fuckin’ make the continent. It’s like, fuck you!

So From Under The Cork Tree happens, we fuckin’ have three, four years of awesomeness! Like people are cumming on themselves it’s so big! So Fall Out Boy was like, so Patrick’s like “Yo, we’re gonna name this record ‘From Under The Cork Tree’ and From Infinity In High.” Pete was like “Yo, folie a deux means, the theatric of two.” Fall Out Boy was like “Yo, we gotta take a break” meaning, Pete was like “Yo, we gotta take a break bro” and Patrick’s like, “Y need time for my music! Yeah!” And Joe’s like “Yo, I need time to find the fuckin’ art dude I gotta find some fuckin’ meau-metal.” And Andy’s like “I’m just gonna play with some fuckin’ metal bands.”

And they were like, “Alright, this breaks been like three years long. Two years long. Three years long. Three and a half. We gotta fuckin’ come back man. We gotta come back STRONG! We gotta make this shit legit. It’s gonna be fuckin dope. It’s gonna go fuckin sky high. We’re gonna make a fuckin’ record that sails the skies. We’re gonna call this record… Save Rock And Roll.” So they made Alone Together, Light 'Em Up, Alone Together, Phoenix. And everyone’s like “What the fuck? You’re working with this guy who fuckin’ recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk!” Pete was like “Yo, were gonna end up on the tour with Panic! At The Disco and Twenty Pilots.” And that’s all. And that’s all that matters. And that’s how the fucking story goes.

Me as a parent
  • kid: mom tell me a story
  • me: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."

Have some parenting headcanons for father’s day!

–Despite Yuuri being the father that worries more about their kids, Yuuri is also the parent that says “don’t ask me, ask your other father if you can do that.” This is because, rather than saying ‘no,’ Viktor often gets involved in whatever crazy activity the kids have planned, and makes it both supervised and fun.

–”It isn’t fair,” Viktor murmurs to himself. He is looking down at a pile of children, two dogs, and his beloved husband. Yuuri had fallen asleep on the couch while watching Food Network. Viktor had been taking a nap in their extremely plush king-sized bed. And yet here Yuuri lies, blanketed by and being everything that Viktor holds dear, because Yuuri is the one everybody always chooses to sleep with. 

–If Viktor went overboard with petnames for Yuuri, then he has a SEA of petnames for his kids. “Do you think Papa even knows our real names?” Their eldest giggles. Yuuri blinks very slowly, thinks of JJ and Viktor staring with a pretty, unrecognizing smile at most of the sponsors. Oh my god, he thinks, no, that’s… “Of course I know your name,” Viktor laughs, giving her a squeeze, “remember when you went out on the ice unsupervised and tried a double and I had to scold you? I even know your MIDDLE name, kotyonok.”

–Apparently, years of avoiding the press to have a bit of alone time is not sufficient training for avoiding their children. Luckily, Viktor tends to not wear a shirt around the house anyway, so their son just eyes them disinterestedly before handing him a jar. “Open, papa, please.” Yuuri buries his face in his husband’s chest and slides off the table where he’d been sitting. A babysitter. They need a babysitter.

–“You’re so stupid,” Yurio says after Viktor spends ten minutes complaining about their current babysitter. “Why did you HIRE someone? Lilia and Yakov are furious. They’ve been taking it out on me during practice.” The children are henceforth deposited into Yakov and Lilia’s grim arms. Initially, Viktor worries they’re going to come home as soldiers. Instead, they come home spoiled.

Shiro’s eyes shot open as something suddenly popped in his thoughts. He winced at the neon-green digital numbers on the clock for a moment before being able to read the 3:24 AM glaring on the screen.

He rolled onto his other side to be greeted with the sleeping face of his husband, Keith.
Shiro smiled, lifting a hand to gently brush some hair off of Keith’s face.

“Hey love, you awake?” He whispered.

Keith let out a little noise as he slowly woke up. “Y-yeah…something wrong, babe..?”

Shiro dropped his hand from Keith’s face. “I was just wondering..”

“Hm?”

Shiro paused.

“You still-” he tried to find the right words- “like me, right?”

There was a deafening silence for nearly two minutes as Keith’s face slowly shifted from tired yet concerned to an expression that screamed “are you for real”.

“…Shiro….we are…literally married. We’ve been married for three goddamn years, we’ve been dating for five. Why would you even ask that.” Keith said, the volume of his voice louder than the previous whispers.

Shiro pouted. “But still, you like me, right?”


“OH MY GOD GO TO SLEEP.”

BASICALLY

3

Dating Sodapop Curtis would include…

- Hanging out with Steve and Soda at the DX

- Sitting on the counter while Soda works the register

- Watching Soda fix cars

- Having to deal with Steve and Soda constantly talking about cars

“But Steve did you see it? That thing was a beauty-”

“No that thing was a piece of junk. Did you miss the mustang we saw last week? That was a beauty.”

“You’re crazy. You know-”
“Would you both please take a break for three minutes and not talk about cars? I mean seriously, carry on some other, normal conversation, please.”

“…”

“…”

*sigh* “Oh whatever. You two are hopeless.”

- Hanging out at the Curtis’s house

- Soda taking you on little dates randomly

- Making Soda blush because it’s so easy

“You are so cute.”

“No I am not. I’m tuff-”

“You’re like a little puppy. You wanna be all big and bad but you just look so adorable! See, you’re blushing again! Aww you just look so cute!”

- Convincing Darry, Ponyboy and the gang that you aren’t like Sandy

- Dealing with Two-Bit’s jokes

“Hey, can you get me a soda while you’re in there?”

“God y/n, you really love soda don’t you.”

“I mean, yeah it’s alright.”

“How often do you drink soda?”

“Well, um, I mean I don’t really-”

“Shut up Two-Bit!”

“I’m just making conversation!”

“No you are trying to be vulgar so shut it!”

- Reassuring Soda that you don’t care if he’s a dropout

- Getting real nervous when the draft starts and Soda is eligible

- Saving up for years with Soda so that you two can afford a place together

- Coming home to Soda

- Seeing his bright smile every morning

“You have such a pretty smile.”

“You’ve got a pretty face.”

“You’ve got the brightest smile I have ever seen.”

“You are the most beautiful person I have ever laid my eyes on.”

“Oh please.”

“The best view i could imagine waking up to.”

- Trying to win over Ponyboy, who is convinced no girl is good enough for Soda

- Getting angry when other girls flirt with Soda

- Him calling you his baby

- Soda singing to you when you’re sick because you made him one time and discovered he has a real pretty voice

- Sodapop loving to go down on you, just all the time. He doesn’t even ask you to return the favor

“What are you doing?”

“Good morning baby.”

“What are you- ohh, oh God Soda,”

“Just relax baby, let me get my breakfast.”

- Soda admitting through truth or dare that his favorite place in the world is in between your thighs

- Lots of morning sex because Sodapop never fails to wake up with morning wood

- Him being really demanding in bed, always insisting that you tell him exactly what you want him to do before he will start anything

“Come on Soda, please.”

“Nope, you gotta say it.”

“But you know what I need Soda, just, please, come on.”

“Not until you say it.”

- He is really passionate but he can also be very playful and lighthearted when it comes to sex

- He adores the way your legs feel around him, his waist and his neck

- Him absolutely loving blowjobs but never wanting to ask for fear of pressuring you

- You trying to get him to stop being so nice every once in awhile and really say what he wants

“Too nice?”

“Yes. I mean it’s great that you are so well mannered but, I just need for you to tell me what you want ya know. At least pretend like you want to be in this relationship.”

“What do you mean?  I want this y/n I do and you know that.”
“Then act like it. Just take something you want for a change and stop being such a pushover!”

“You want me to stop being a pushover? Take what I want?”

“Yes!”

“I want you. I want you everyday for the rest of my life. I want to come home to you in my home. That is enough for me y/n. You are more than enough for what I want in my life.”

- Having little fights with Soda that always seem to end with long hugs with Soda whispering sweet nothings into your ear

- Fighting some of the girls who go too far

- Him never letting you alone with Dally

- Showering with Soda

- Patching Soda up after he gets in a fight with some socs who were trying to hit on you

- Trying to get Soda to stop from going to the rumbles

- Getting caught staring at Soda whenever he is changing

“What are you looking at huh?”

“Something very sexy.”

“What did you just say?”

“Nothing.”

“Did you just seriously say that? In front of everyone?”

“No. I have no idea what you are talking about.”

- Sometimes suggesting that Soda should go with pants for a while

- Soda asking you to start your life with him so that the two of you will never have to be separated.


I am so sorry.

-C

"You’re mister J’s new obsession, Sugar” 1/3- Bruce Wayne x Reader

Summary : You have been married to Bruce for quite some years now, and you both knew it was inevitable that you’d get in danger one day…but you really never expected the Joker to start to be obsessed with you. CHAPTER 1/3. 

Warnings : mentions of sex, also, Bruce is “old” if that bothers you in any way…If your like me and have a thing for older guys, then carry on please.

PART TWO PART THREE

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

_______________________________________________________________________

Looking at yourself in the mirror of your bathroom, you groaned and turned around to glare at your husband that was taking a shower. He immediately felt that you were staring, but to his disappointment, it wasn’t for the reason he hoped for…

-Is something wrong dear ? 

-Yes Bruce, something’s wrong. How old are you ? 

-…What ? 

-Just answer my question honey. 

-…Hum, 46 ?

-Yes. 46. You’re 46 years old.  

At the way you were looking at him, mad as Hell, standing in the frame of the shower door that you just violently swung open, billionaire ex-playboy superhero Bruce Wayne got kinda worried. He was trying to figure out what he did that could have pissed you off that much, as you were really difficult to annoy, almost never getting angry…But boy when you were angry, it was scary. Apparently now though, you were more annoyed than mad. So he was trying to remember what he could have done. 

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Paris x Rory headcanons #2

- Paris wore a suit to their wedding, and while she was picking it out she spent the entire time talking about subverting the patriarchy. 

- The second Paris saw Rory at the altar she started crying. When Rory noticed Paris crying she started crying, even though she was trying really hard not to cry. (When Luke saw that they were crying, he started crying.)

- Before they started dating, Paris didn’t know how to tell Rory she liked her, so she went to Lorelai for advice. Lorelai was not surprised, at all. 

- They both quote classical literature in their vows.

- They spent 85% of their honeymoon in museums, going, “Oh my god look at this!” to each other.

- Paris kept a box with every article Rory had ever got published. (So did: Luke, Lorelai, Emily, Richard, and Sookie. And half of Stars Hollow, let’s be real.)

- They got married at the Dragonfly. During the planning, Michel and Paris were constantly snarking at each other, but they got shit done.

- Just before the wedding, someone asked Paris is she was nervous, She panicked, “What? Why would I be nervous? Oh my god, is Rory nervous? Oh my god she changed her mind. Oh mY gOD!” and then she tried to climb out a window. Luke had to drag her back inside. 

- Whenever they came back to Stars Hollow, there’d be a point where Paris was working on her laptop at Luke’s, and she and Luke would communicate using single syllables. This was their bonding. Rory and Lorelai would be sitting at a table, watching them like it was a nature documentary, and occasionally narrating it like it was a nature documentary. 

- Their song, the one they dance to at their wedding, is Eternal Flame by The Bangles (in honour of the first time they were kinda friends at the Bangles concert) 

Yuuri took pity of how hard it was for Victor to process everything right then.

He explained gently:

“You’re my husband, we’re getting married.”

“How…” Victor began weakly and gulped. “Oh my god, how did I do that?”

Victor coming off painkillers after a bump on the head. He doesn’t recognise Yuuri and asks who the angel in his room is.  Silly, fluff one-shot.

Inspired of course by that video of a man not recognizing his wife while coming round from his surgery, and the many, many fic prompts that has generated.

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BTS Reacts - Finding Out You’re Pregnant

request via dms : “a little react of BTS finding out that you’re pregnant?”


Min Yoongi: ‘I’ve never thought about raising a family,’ he casually says in passing, as he watches a happy family walk past, through the window. You’re a week into your pregnancy; you haven’t told anyone. You know Min Yoongi is focused on his career, and having kids wouldn’t really fit into his lifestyle. You don’t want to burden your boyfriend of several years, but you know you’re going to have to let him know about this sooner or later, no matter how hesitant you are. ‘I’m pregnant,’ you curtly confess. His turns around so swiftly; his jaw hangs open for awhile, processing this knowledge - he is going to be a dad. It scares him, and he is resisting every instinct in his body that makes him want to run out of the room yelling at the top of his lungs, but when he looks at you, all he sees is the person he loves, about to give him the gift of his life. The truth is that Min Yoongi has never thought about raising a family - until he met you.

“I … what? Are… are you serious?”
( You nod in reply. )
“… I guess I’m gonna have to get used to more than one person calling me ‘daddy’, now…” 

Park Jimin: You’re nervous as to how he is going to take the news of an unexpected pregnancy. When he emerges from the elevator, he explodes with enthusiasm - ‘jagi, did you watch us on television last night?’, ‘did you see us accept the award?’ - an endless stream of questions pour out of the singer. Hoseok asks if you’d like to go out for drinks with them, but you refuse. ‘Why, are you pregnant?’, joked Namjoon. You stare at your boyfriend while he’s on his victory-high, but the look you’re giving him causes his bouncing to slowly come to a stop. An awkward silence hangs in the air, and Hoseok constantly switches his attention between your still bodies. He mouths a visible ‘oh my god’, exchanging glances with Namjoon. You mutter a weak ‘yes’ - hearing you say that you’re about to give him a baby makes him queasy - but little does Jimin know, down the road, he would be a proud father of three sons, and he would wonder why he ever overreacted in the first place.

“J-Jagi, are you for real? I… can’t even… what!? How!? We… we used a condom, didn’t we!?”

Kim Seokjin: You’re having lunch together, when suddenly, your body convulses, and you make a break for the bathroom. He’s concerned for you, so he gets out of his seat and walks over to the door, calling for you from outside. You quickly retort for him to stay out, and you start retching between words. His brows knit - did you eat something that didn’t agree with you? He’s noticed you taking trips to the toilet a lot more, but he’s always thought it’s because of how much water you’ve been drinking lately. A pang of realization hits him when he thinks of the last possible reason for your sudden illness. The last time you’d slept together was a month ago. Seokjin definitely sees children in his future, and even though he has trouble stomaching all this right now, he’s unable to contain himself. He would want nothing more than the person he loves to bear his child. Having kids would mean the world to him, but he needs to ask you one thing before he accepts this turn of events.

Jagiya… I know you’re pregnant. I want you to know, that I’m ready as ever to embark on this journey with you. I want to be with you and our child forever, if you’ll have me.”
( What are you saying, Jin? )
“… Will you be my wife?” 

Jung Hoseok: You’re at the doctor’s office - you haven’t been feeling particularly well lately, so you decide to take your problem to the clinic by yourself. When the doctor informs you of your unplanned pregnancy, your heart stops. You’re not sure how to get this news to your boyfriend. You ring up Hobi to tell him that you’re dropping by Bighit. His ears are sharp - he is able to detect the anxiety in your shaky voice. He pesters you to tell him why you’re upset, and after at least five minutes of his persistence, you cave in, announcing your pregnancy. There is a long silence on the call, and you’re concerned that he hasn’t digested this news well. Hobi is a family man - the thought of spending the rest of his life with you and his new kids gets him amped to a maximum. Jung Hoseok runs at full speed into the practice room, yelling at the other six members of Bangtan as you hear him wail over the call:

“I’M GOING TO BE A DADDY, EVERYONE!”

Kim Namjoon: ‘I’m flipping out, what do I do?!’, Kim Namjoon eavesdrops on your phone call as he stands idly outside your bedroom. He’s noticed how tense you are all night, and he’s tried breaking the ice with both affectionate kisses and playful humour, but none of it unwinds you from discomfort. Hoseok finally returns your calls after hours of you dialing him. You had to tell someone, just not Namjoon yet. He urges you to relax, and to just talk to your long-time boyfriend. When you’re through with the call, you find the man himself seated down on the sofa, having been left to a state of uncertainty after hearing the word ‘pregnant’ escape your lips. Namjoon’s undecided about his opinions on having kids - it’s not that he’s unwilling to start a family with you - he just can’t believe it’s actually going to happen. Watching you freak out puts him on edge, so he tries to remain as calm as possible, making the first move, struggling to keep in his panic:

“… Is there something you want to tell me, babe? Like, I don’t know… BEING PREGNANT!?”

Jeon Jungkook: The answering machine on the desk beeps as Jungkook screens through the calls in the apartment. He’s decided to make himself comfortable at home before you return from work, so checking his calls is the first order of business. A medical clinic calls, ‘the results of your blood test for pregnancy are in, and it’s positive - please get back to us if have any more inquiries’. Jungkook has reached a whole new level of freaking the fuck out - he is so shook, that he simply goes about his regular routine around the house, making himself a bowl of cereal before sitting on the couch, waiting for you to return. His brain has short-circuited, and he just stares blankly ahead. Some part of him is wondering why he’s so scattered about you bearing his child - sure, he is young - but if there’s anyone in his life he wants more to have kids with, it’s you. This line of reasoning results in him being more accepting of the fact that he’s about to be a father.

“… I wonder what’s a good name that goes with Jeon…”

Kim Taehyung: He’s casually brushing his teeth in the bathroom, when his eyes catch something unusual in the dustbin. ‘Jagi, what is this?’ You hear Taehyung’s voice from your bedroom, and it clicks in your mind that you haven’t taken the trash out yet. Ohmygod, you think, starting to feel the dread set in. You fly off your bed, scuttling toward the bathroom in haste, panting hard from racing your way there. You find him examining your pregnancy test closely. You’ve been meaning to tell him, but you wanted to make sure through a doctor’s visit, first. You bite your lip, anticipating his reaction - however, when he turns to you, you see tears well up in his eyes. You’ve been afraid to bring this news to him, but you should have known that Taehyung loves kids like nothing else, and to him, discovering that the love of his life is going to bring him even more happiness than they already have, makes him realize: one by one, all of his dreams are coming true.

“Yah, pabo… I can’t believe you’re pregnant… do you know how much this means to me?”


This was hard to do, mostly because I kept juggling back and forth between them reacting as ready, future parents, or unexpected recipients of the news. Either way, I sincerely hope you liked how it turned out - thank you for requesting, please enjoy! <3

compassion. | 2

Originally posted by jeonsshi

1 | 3

not requested.

“Your ass looks great.” “Will you fuck off for a second?”

“You’ve really fucked me over this time.”

“Please let me in.”

genre: fuckboi!jungkook, roommate!jungkook, smut in next part

“Wait…”, Jungkook said as you were by the door. “Do you still talk to Isla?” “No, not after what happened.”

Isla and you had stopped speaking because she went ahead and fell for Jungkook, she gave into his ways. Now, you also did like him romantically at one point but would never let yourself drop so low; why else would you have fucked other guys and not him? To forget about your little crush. Isla had found out that you liked Jungkook and she wanted him to herself.

“I’ll expose you if you touch Jungkook. So you better stay away from him.”, she threatened in P.E when you were on opposite teams. “He’s all yours, have him.”, you told her as you passed the basketball to Jungkook. “I said stay away from him! Not pass the ball to him!” “Dude, it’s part of the game! Passing a ball does not mean I’m flirting!”, you told her as you tried to reason with her but she shoved you so hard that your right ankle was sprained. “I am so sorry, oh my God.” “Just don’t touch me or talk to me ever again, that would be better for both of us.”, you told her as you were picked up by a pair of strong arms. “Someone got into the game.”, Jungkook chuckled as he carried your bridal style to the nurse, this earned many dirty looks from other girls. “Why are you doing this?”, you asked him. “I have my reasons, besides you got injured, this is the least I could do as team captain.” “We’re not even a real team.”, you muttered.

All throughout work you couldn’t stop thinking about the moment Jungkook picked you up in front of everyone and actually seemed to care about you, just like today. No, no, no, you couldn’t be falling for that idiot again; you were determined to stop yourself. To snap you out of your trance your boss, aka your older sister, told you to fix up the aesthetics of the store. “Hey, lil sis, will you make it more like appealing? You do have good sense of aesthetics after all.” Even while you were working you couldn’t stop daydreaming about what life would be like as Jungkook’s girlfriend; then you realised he was a fuckboy and had probably never had a girlfriend in his life, just one time flings.

“Baby sis, stop daydreaming or I’ll remove the tattoo of us.”, your older sister joked as she checked up on you. “You know you wouldn’t.”, you replied as you fixed up one of the new bright lights that read ‘love me’. “You’re right but get to work, you’ve got two hours to go!”, she told you and you got right back to it. After you finished you took a rest at the till and took orders from customers who were here for coffee and aesthetics. “Yo, what’s wrong?”, your older sister asked you. “Hung up on a guy?” “You know me all too well, I haven’t even been romantically involved with him and I can’t stop thinking about him.”, you muttered. “Lemme guess, your roommate and old friend, Jungkook?” “How did you know?” “Dude, you muttered his name, saying you’ll kill him while you were working.” “I did?”, you asked her, the shock really hitting you. “Yep, but don’t worry about it, no one heard you except me and maybe a few customers. But that’s besides the point, why are you thinking about him so much?”

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6

sketches from tonight ❤ gen outfit redraws 💙 + kin 💛 + why shiro’s hair is so short 💚

bifidosmetana  asked:

I don't know if anyone has mentioned this before... but we all know that silver and blue are the colours of the Wings of Freedom. And that perfectly match with the idea of why they made Erwin and Levi wear blue suit and silver leggins respectively. On that recent official art they are even placed on both sides from the kids just like the Wings of Freedom - silver Levi's on the right side and blue Erwin's on the left.

Oh my god! You’re right @bifidosmetana.  Now we know the real reason for this fashion disaster! 

Third Wheel (Part 3)

Yo, finally Hunk and Pidge appears.  And some drama happens. Also, i have a surprise for you guys. 

Ao3: Click me♥ 

Part 1
Part 2
Part 4


Lance was hurt. But that didn’t mean he was going to stop helping Shiro and Keith. It wasn’t their fault they didn’t return his feelings. It wasn’t their fault Lance thought they were in a relationship. 

He liked to think it was obvious they were a thing. It seemed he misinterpreted the whole situation.

But Lance was fine. He was fine and he could dealt with it. He wasn’t going to turn his back on them. Even if it killed him from the inside.


Hunk knew there was something terrible wrong with his friend. Since they came back from the celebration, Lance had been quiet. Too quite. He thought at first his friend was tired, but then the days passed and he didn’t looked any better. 

He was still smiling and making jokes, but Hunk knew Lance better than anyone and was able to see under his mask. The happiness he had been feeling these days was completely gone, and instead of the bright smile he used to have, a fake one replace it.

It was awful. Hunk didn’t know what to do. He tried to approach the omega several times but always brushed him off or change the subject. 

“What is wrong with him? He was happy a few days ago.” Asked Pidge in concern. 

“I don’t know! He won’t tell me! You know how Lance is, he keeps everything inside until it becomes to much!”

“Yeah… Do you think it may be something related to Shiro and Keith?” Hunk looked at her confused.“ You know, Shiro… Keith… With Lance. Oh my god, Hunk. Please tell me you noticed.”

“That… actually explains a lot.” Pidge groaned. “Well, they stop hanging out with Lance for a while… But Lance didn’t seem affected by that.”

“Maybe he was faking it?”

“No, i know him. the happiness was real then. Whatever has Lance acting like this, happened after the party…”

“And what if it’s Lotor’s fault? I saw them together, talking and dancing. They even went to the gardens alone.”Hunk raised an eyebrow.

“How it is that you notice all those things?” 

Pidge smiled. “Let’s just say that Rover have many hidden talents.”  


Something was different with Lance, and Shiro was getting really worried. The alpha tried to bring the omega closer, to talk to him more, but every attempted he made end up in failure.

He invited him several times to spend time with him and Keith, but Lance always had something to do. The little times he agreed, he always sat far away from them. Keeping a big distance. 

Lance still appeared at nights. But even when they were having sex, he seemed absent. The alphas became really scared when one night after the finished, Lance simply got up, picked up his things and left. 

“Did we do something wrong?” Asked Keith. 

“I… I think? I don’t know.” 

They stop having sex with him fearing they would make him feel uncomfortable again. And in a desperate attempted make the omega stay they started cuddling with him, making him sleep in the middle. 

Still, no matter how much they tried to make Lance feel like part of them, it was getting harder and harder to reach him. 


Prince Lotor arrived to the castle of Lions to stay for a unknown period of time, and to be honest Lance wasn’t sure how to feel about it. The prince had nothing but good intentions. He was on their side and was their most powerful ally. Lotor had gone to explain them about the Rebel network he built and its branches to offer his full support to Voltron and see how could he be of help. But everytime Lance met his Galra eyes, he remembered their conversation and couldn’t help but bitter.

“Excuse, Blue Paladin?” Lance cursed under his breath. Great.

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry, but i’ve been getting the impression that my presence is not welcome by you. Did i do something wrong, by any chance?“ 

"What?! No, God, no! You have done nothing wrong, ok? It’s not you.”

“It is perhaps something related to the conversation we held the day of our alliance?” Lance frowned. Oh, so Lotor was right.  “I must tell you, Blue paladin, that it was never my intention to intrude in your personal live.” 

“Nah, dude. It’s ok. I mean, if it weren’t for you i would still had the stupid illusion we were something else. Not your fault, really.”

“It is not stupid to hope the ones we love, love us back.” Lance sighed, looking defeated. Honestly? He was tired and confused.

Keith and Shiro had been trying to get his attention and to be beside him all the tme. He was sure Keith even tried to scent him one time. It was… Weird. Before we would’ve feel on the clouds, but now? He was not sure. 

Lance didn’t want to fell more for them. That’s why no matter how many times he felt tempted to accept their invitations or look for them he never did. He was only trying to protect himself. 

“Would you mind accompanying me for a walk around the castle?” Lotor suddenly asked, trying to distract Lance of his own worrying thoughts. The omega looked at him in disbelief. 

“A walk around the castle?” 

“Well, we could try to go to the nearest planet is you prefer.” A small smile appeared on Lance’s face.

“No, thank you. The castle’s fine.” He said, grabbing Lotor arm. “Ok, pretty boy. Lead the way.”


In a matter of days, Lance went back to his happy-self. Lotor showed to be not only a good diplomant and leader, but a good friend. They became really close, and would often flirt with each other (mostly as a game, Lance liked to think). Whenever they weren’t creating plans to defeat Zarkon’s empire or training, they talked about everything. Lance felt so comfortable with Lotor he told him everything he had been happening with the alpha couple, feeling much lighter after doing it. He would have told Hunk, but he never did because he knew his friend would totally confront Shiro and Keith about their little arrangement and that was the last thing he wanted.

What if they couldn’t form Voltron after that? He prefered to avoid fights and to keep enjoying of this blossoming friendship he and Lotor had.

But the war was inevitable, right? 

The end of the little time of peace they were living came quick and without warning. The Galra attacked in the middle of the night taking them by completely surprise.

The awful sound of the alarm filled the castle and Lance ran through the red halls. Before he could reach the bridge, he was intercepted by a galra soldier. He was shocked, the were inside. Holy fuck they were inside and he didn’t have a weapon or armor to fight back.

He was about to run away, when he noticed the Galra had Pidge with him. She was badly hurt, and seemed to be struggling to breathe. He felt anger grew inside him and with the adrenaline running through his body he ran towards the galra soldier, avoiding to get hit until he got closer enough to knock him down and steal his weapon.

He shot without thinking twice, then lift Pigde in his arms and quickly ran towards the med bay. His friends could defend the castle without him, right now what mattered was her.  

Just before he could arrived to his destiny, more Galra appeared and surround them. He hold Pidge tightly hurting her a little, trying his best to shield her with his body. 

The soldiers lifted their arms and he closed his eyes, waiting with fear to be shot. A bang was heard, and when he opened his eyes, Lotor was all he could see. 

“Are you ok?”  

"Fuck.. Yes… Thanks, buddy. ” He sighed in relief when he saw all the fallen Galra. “We… We don’t have time to waste. Pidge, we need her on the pods." 

Lotor nodded as he took Pidge from Lance’s arms and head to the med bay. He put her on the table, grab a weapon a went back to hall to make sure no Galra attacked them while Lance was preparing the pod. He truly felt grateful for speding tons of hours cleaning the pods with Coran. Once he was finished and Pidge’s vitals stabilize , Lotor approach him and hug him.

He melt at the touch and closed his eyes enjoying the sensation.  

“You did well, Lance…” 

“Thank you… If it weren’t for you, Pidge–”

“She’s ok now, you did good. You have nothing to worry about now… “ The prince said and Lance sighed. The alarm was still on, they weren’t safe yet. They needed to join the battle. But he wanted to stay just like that a little longer. He missed this, he missed having this kind of physical contact. He hugged Lotor back, and gasp when he felt how the prince began to scent him. He shivered, and felt the tears sting in his eyes. The omega couldn’t believe this, he was overwhelmed by the alpha’s action.

Lance opened his eyes, and through the tears he could see a Galra was pointing his weapon at Lotor’s back. He got paled at the sight and his mind went blanck for an instant, fuck. He pulled apart from Lotor as fast as he could and throw him to he ground, taking the fatal blow directed at him without thinking. He fell hard and felt all the air leave his lungs. Someone called his name, but he quickly faded.


When Lance woke up and got out of the pod, Hunk was there to catch him. 

“Lance!” He said with a big smile and tears in his eyes. “You’re awake!” 

“Oh my God! Lance’s awake!” Screamed Pidge, looking much healthier and stronger than before.

“Hey, Pidgeon.”

Hunk and Pidge hug him and nuzzle him for several minutes, refusing to let him go. A few meters from them, everyone else was waiting their turn to get closer to Lance. Once the betas were finished, Allura and Coran were next. Coran hugged him as Allura thanked him for his bravery and patted his head like if he was a little child. When Lance was free, everyone expected Shiro and Keith to be next. But Lotor couldn’t wait and took Lance in his arms, kissing his temple. The omega blushed and laughed by the action and just before he could say something, the alphas yanked Lotor away from him. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, huh?!” Keith looked beyond pissed. “That’s our omega!” 

What. 

“Bullshit!” Oh, God, Lotor looked angry too. “He’s not yours! You barely pay attention to him!”

“We’ve been mating him! He’s ou—”

“You’ve been fucking him!” Said Lotor, interrumpting Shiro.”You both only want him to warm your bed!” 

“That’s not true! We’ve been trying to court him all these time! We want Lance with us!

“Oh, really? You could’ve fooled me if it weren’t by the selfish way you both are acting! Lance is a fucking person, not a hole for you assholes to be fucked!”

“We don’t think of Lance that way! We truly want him and care about him! We would never do anything to hurt him!”

Lotor was still not convinced and draw his claws out. Shiro and Keith growled, baring their teeths. The princess quickly ran towards Lotor’s side, grabbing him by the arm trying to stop the prince from fighting her paladins as Hunk, Pidge and Coran went to stop the other two. Meanwhile, the omega was static in his place seeing the whole scene unfold before his eyes. 

-“Is… is true what you’re saying?” Lance asked, looking between Keith and Shiro with uncertainty. He looked nervous and about to cry. “Please tell me you’re not lying. Tell me you guys are serious right now because i wouldn’t be able to take it if you’re not.  Part 4

-“Are you guys serious right now?” Said Lance, drawing everyone’s attention to him and shocking the alphas by the hostility on his voice. “Oh my God, you guys are serious! No, this is bullshit. You can’t pretend i don’t exist, think only about each other and then claim me as yours. Do you know how fucked up is that?!” Part 5


—- DID YOU LIKED THE SURPRISED My BeaUTIful PECADORES????!!?!!! Not only you guys are divided by Lancelot and Shklance, i am too. So i’ll do two endings. Because i can, and because i love lancelot with good lotor and shklance because it’s a clasic.

This is the perfect solution for my shipper heart (and for my followers dispute) Oh and i warn you guys. The following chapters won’t be updated as fast as the others. Why?

  1. Because they need to be updated the same day
  2. I want to rest.
  3. I want to draw.
  4. I may be getting sick, so now you know.