oh my god i'm not even making sense and and and

Ok so what if a Langst spy au??? Just hear me out……
•Shiro is still missing, everyone is expecting Keith to take over until they find Shiro
• they hear about prince lotor, but don’t have any information about him, so Allura and the blade of mamora are planning on sending in an undercover operative to have intel on him.
•lance accidentally walks in on the meeting, and over hears them talking about it.
• lance volunteers to go, thinking that this could be his chance to be able to lift his weight and not feel so much as the 7th wheel.
• Allura is not amused, refusing to send Lance in, cause she does care for him on some level, not that he knows this
• but Lance makes some really good points that it’s not exactly a secret that Lance and Keith don’t get along, that if Lance were to make a big enough argument with Keith, that it could get the Galra to be interested in trying to recruit him
• Allura concedes, cause it’s the best plan that she’s heard through the entire meeting. But she only lets him go on one condition: once they find Shiro, Lance has to come back as soon as possible.
•they all agree that the team shouldn’t know about the plan until after Lance has successfully infiltrated the Galra.
• the plan works great. And Lance is successfully apart of the Galra. And lotor is especially interested in Lance, which is good for the mission, not for Lance though.
•ALOT of creepy one-sided flirting. Lance promises to himself to apologize to Allura for all of his incessant flirting.
•bad news, is the team takes it HARD. First the lost Shiro and now Lance!
• hunk is just begging whatever god are out there that this is just some sort of nightmare and that he’ll wake up from it at any moment. He still believes that Lance will come back to the team.
• Pidge is pretty upset, and thinks that if they got Shiro back, then maybe he can talk some sense into Lance and bring him back.
•Keith is LIVID. He can’t believe that Lance betrayed them, that he had said all those things about him, and just turn his back on the team. Keith believes that Lance has completely turned his back on them, that he isn’t coming back.
• Allura can’t figure out how to tell the team that Lance didn’t actually betray them.
• fast forward to a week or two after the ‘betrayal’ they face off against lotor again, and lance as well.
• somehow Lance and Keith are fighting on a catwalk, about 5-6 stories high. And Keith isn’t holding back. He goes on and on about how lance is a traitor, and how he didn’t deserve to be apart of Voltron
• it definitely hurts lance, but lance has pretty much figured out that Allura hasn’t been able to tell the team yet. But he can’t tell Keith, or else his cover is blown.
•Keith takes swing at lance with his bayard, and puts a huge gash in his face.
• Keith kicks lance into the railing, only for it and lance to fall. But lance is able to catch himself barely on the catwalk, but his hand is too slippery, cover in his blood.
•lance calls for Keith, to help him. Lance knows Keith would let him fall.
•Keith lets him fall.
•it’s either, Keith was in a sort of angry frenzy that he didn’t realize lance was calling for him until it was too late, or something else.
•either way, Keith is sure that Lance is dead, and leaves. Not able to look at the dead body.
•but lance isn’t dead. He’s close to it, but not there yet.
•Lotor finds him and has haggar save his life. Of course, lance doesn’t come out of it whole.
• he had to have his complete spine replaced with one of haggar’s prosthetics. He has a scar on his face from Keith, and his arm had to be replaced as well. But he’s alive.
• to say that Allura is relieved when she gets communication from Lance is an understatement. Especially after Keith told them all that Lance was dead.
• lance still sends information and warnings about certain attacks and plans that the Galra have for months.
• then finally the others find Shiro, and Allura is so glad because that means that not only is Shiro back, but that Lance will come back as well.
• Lance sneaks back on to the castle during a battle between Lotor and the team. (Carrying a flash drive with as much information about lotor and the Galra as it can hold)
• Allura calls a retreat and the other paladins go to the bridge once they have successfully wormholed out of there. You can definitely say that they are surprised to see her talking to some random guy who looks a lot like…oh my god it’s Lance!
•you can definitely say that there are some mixed emotions.
•hunk is so happy! He knew it! Lance was alive! He’s back! He’s going to be okay!
•pidge is kind of weary of it. She’s not sure what to think, he might be back, or it might be a trick.
• Shiro is just confused. the others didn’t tell him about Lance ‘betraying’ them, or that they thought he died. He’s just trying to figure out where Lance came from.
• Keith is drawing his bayard and putting himself in between lance and the others, ready to strike.
•of course NOW is when Allura finally tells them all that Lance was undercover and spying on the Galra. Of course their pissed that they didn’t tell them, mostly at Allura cause she was suppose to as soon as Lance was in.
• Keith now feels like he is the biggest screw up in the room, cause he sees the scar on lance’s face. He realizes that he left his friend to die, even if he was under he idea that he betrayed them. He sees how lance’s eyes go stone cold when he looks at him. He knows that he lost Lance’s trust.

Soft

It starts with a bar of soap.

For God’s sake, Kent thinks to himself in the “personal care” section of the grocery store. Why does Dove think I’m allergic to purple just because I’m a guy?

He picks up the lavender-scented bar soap and inhales. It smells heavenly. Next he tries the sandalwood-scented from the men’s section. It comes in a gray box and costs fifty cents less. It smells good but it reminds him of floor polish.

I’m a grown-ass man, Kent thinks, and buys the lavender soap.

The next time he’s out of body wash, he spends thirty minutes trying to decide on one of the many “manly” smells before caving to “Cocoa Cabana” in the women’s aisle because it smells like Valentines Day in a bottle. 

After that it’s his deodorant body spray, trading in “Bold” (whatever the fuck boldness smells like) for “Fresh Cotton.” 

The first time Jeff catches a whiff of it on him, he asks, “New fabric softener? It smells awesome.”

“Nah, switched deodorants.”

“Huh.” Jeff nods in approval. “Well, you smell like fresh blankets out of the dryer. I have a physical urge to hug you.”

Kent laughs. Jeff hugs him and he laughs more. It’s nice.

After five months, nearly every toiletry Kent owns has been switched over from an endless variety of blacks, grays, and occasional dark greens and blues to white, purple, soft brown, yellow, and pink. Showers have transformed from a perfunctory necessity to something luxurious. Women’s products are so indulgent. They make Kent feel and smell like he’s been at a spa. He does have to learn to juggle the fragrances appropriately or risk smelling like a perfume store vomited on him. But it’s worth it, for how good he feels after. He feels pampered. His skin is softer, his hair shines, and even his pits and crotch look and feel cleaner. He doesn’t know if it’s the products or because he really cares about the maintenance, now, since he’s got all these specialty items to try. It doesn’t matter. He feels great.

Kent now has honest-to-God bubble baths and detox-salt-soaks. He’s got body butters and face masks and a lip balm in almost every flavor. The ladies at the Lush at the mall know him by name.

Kent’s still single. He’s got his cat for company, though, and the guys, who drop by or come over for movie and game nights and get drunk and eat all his food and pretend to chirp him for the specialty lemongrass-scented hand soap in his bathroom. Sometimes, on roadies, Swoops will plop down next to him on a bus or a plane and say loudly, “Damn, who’s got chocolate and isn’t sharing? Oh, it’s just Parser. Fuck you for getting my hopes up,” and then he’ll noogie Kent or grab his fingers and gnaw on them.

(The coaches have had to break them up before and it’s very unbecoming of two adult men.)

More than once, one of the guys has fallen asleep next to Kent and ended up face-first in Kent’s shoulder. They’ll wake up blearily, rubbing their eyes and saying, “Whoops, sorry man, didn’t mean to drool on you.” Kent was confused at first but he’s realizing that it’s because they gravitate towards the scent of him in their sleep. He smells like comforting things: honey and chocolate and cotton and Shea. He smells like warmth and safety. It’s why he likes all the things he buys, so it makes sense the guys would like that, too.

Nobody rags on him for it. They chirp him, but that’s different. Chirping, light-hearted and giggly, means acceptance. Soon his teammates start coming up to him in the locker room or nudging him on a bus and saying, “Parser, can I borrow some of your stuff?” and leaving with key-lime lips or cocoa-butter hands.

But it’s when he catches Sunny—big, burly, greatly-bearded d-man Sunny—pulling a bright orange tube of passion fruit lip balm out of his bag and slicking it on in front of everyone that he knows for sure that it’s okay.

flyingchancla  asked:

You know what I love more about Jin and the pink crocs? He has thingies on them, I can't what kind of additions he put there, I remember my eldest had these cars things on his crocs when he was younger. Oh man.

Oh my god friend, I didn’t even NOTICE THIS.  OF COURSE JIN WOULD HAVE EXTRA SPECIAL CUSTOMIZED PINK CROCKS OF FUCKING COURSE HE WOULD I”M GHGHGHHHGHH

HE IS THE CUTEST.  

my alpha.

Originally posted by semejohn

pairing: derek hale x reader

warnings: SMUT, swearing, dirty talk, NSFW GIFS. porn without a plot, basically.

prompt: going into heat while living in the loft with derek being the only available alpha. 

the cold loft was deserted as you laid in the middle of your bed, beads of sweat ran down your sore skin and your breathing was coming out harder than usual. you’d turned down the AC as soon as you’d woken up, the icy air doing very little to calm your raging hot skin. you had lived with derek and issac in the loft for 6 months after being turned by scott and having no where else to go; at first you thought of yourself as an inconvenience yet derek and issac constantly reassured you that you weren’t. al though they had said it many times, you still didn’t bother them with any of your problems and tried to keep to yourself in your room.

Keep reading

Here Are My Colors

Anthony Ramos x Reader

Requested: anthony x reader where reader is anthony’s longterm girlfriend who stuck with him through him never being home, missing out on date nights for rehearsals & performances, & really through everything together. when the show hits broadway, anthony starts staying waaay later than he has to @ the theatre & on readers 3 year anni with him, he insists he has to stay late at the theatre when they already had plans together & reader discovers it was just bc he wanted to hang out with jasmine

Words: 6,149 (i get it man, I’m so extra)

Warnings:  swearing, cheating, AND angst, SO much angst, I’m sorry

A/N: I WANT TO DEDICATE THIS FIC TO THE MOST AMAZING PERSON, ELL @lookaroundlookaroundhowlucky. THANK YOU FOR LOOKING OVER THIS & FOR LITERALLY MAKING ME LAUGH & SMILE EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY. I LOVE YOU & I APPRECIATE THE SHIT OUTTA YA GIRL. Y’ALL GO CHECK HER OUT, SHE SLAYS THE GAME EVERYDAY.

ALSO, I have no words as to how PROUD I am of this fic, it’s UNREAL. It took me so long to write and I love it, it’s basically my child. PLEASE ENJOY.

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anonymous asked:

Do you know any fics where Yuri unintentionally breaks Victor’s heart. I'm a sucker for angst with a happy ending. Thank you ^^

DO YOU GUYS LIKE TO SEE ME IN PAIN?!??! I’m just kidding! Thank you for these requests! Here are some fics where Victor cries… *goes into a corner and cries for 10 years*

Originally posted by takemetovikturi


Victor Cries


selfish by MissSpock, Gen, 1.9k
“…Aren’t you going to stop me?” He hated how his voice wobbled and cracked, and he had to fight to keep the tears in his eyes.
Yuuri’s brows creased. The mist had cleared from the lenses of his glasses and he looked at Victor with confused, amber eyes. “Why should I? It seems as though you’ve come to a decision.” Role reversal of ep 11. *sobs*

twenty-eight by pageleaf, Gen, 864 words
“…I’m sorry, Yuuri.” Yuuri blinks. “For what?” “I disappointed you.” Viktor’s voice is hoarse. “I didn’t win.” I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH

I’m Always Here by queeravocado, Teen, 1.6k
It’s 3 AM. Yuuri’s reliving one of his most horrifying events in his life: the GPF before he met Victor. Victor’s a complete ass, and becomes his number one fear. Turns out it’s a dream, but Victor’s crying his eyes out after what he saw. Victor cries. It’s sad. Happy ending, though!

Talk by future_fishy, Gen, 1.2k
Viktor wasn’t himself today. Yuuri is the best at comforting Victor. Love!

kiss & cry by lostincostco, Explicit, 2.7k
“Oh,” Yuuri says wonderingly. “You’re crying.” Yuuri makes Victor cry, but not in the way you’re thinking…!!!! (this isn’t even sad, it’s just smut.. doN’T JUDGE ME IT’S GOOD OKAY?!)

Stupid Thoughts by future_fishy, Gen, 1.5k
“I’m fine, Yuuri, go back to sleep.” Still that smile. “You’re not, and I won’t.” Yuuri’s serious tone made Viktor flinch, “Please don’t lie to me.” Victor is self conscious about his future with Yuuri????? I’m sobbing?????

Where we belong by ss_blackrabbit, Teen, 1.5k
It’s true that Yuuri wanted to be hated as the man who took Viktor away from the world, but he never meant to take Viktor’s world away from him. Another ep 11 fic! Happy ending.

Comfort by future_fishy, Gen, 697 words
Viktor is upset, and Yuuri isn’t sure how to comfort him, but he tries. I’m totally not crying… *sobs*

A Melancholy Of White by mochary, Teen, 15k
“Yuuko. What’s happening?” Viktor asks sternly. “Did something happen?” “O-oh my God. Viktor-“ Yuuko cries from the other line. “It’s Y-Yuuri. He got into an accident. Viktor, t-there’s blood. P-please come immediately.” It’s then, when Viktor’s heart shatters into a million pieces. ONLY READ THIS IF YOU WANT TO BE KILLED. SERIOUSLY. MY HEART BROKE INTO FIFTY BILLION PIECES WHEN I READ THIS AND I STILL HAVEN’T RECOVERED. Really well written, though, and a happy ending!

Worthwhile by surveycorpsjean, Explicit, 6.2k
In which, it’s Victor that breaks.
So beautifully written. One of, if not my favourite, YOI anxiety/mental illness fic. Highly recommend. So f-ing sad, though.

Holding on for Dear Life by icterine, Teen, 2.4k
It turns out that sometimes heartbreak happens in seconds, unexpectedly – and once it does, there’s no dulling of the senses. Victor’s heart shatters.

anonymous asked:

Amber I need to suffer, could you tell me what are the songs in which H and L harmonise the most together? I just can think of better than words just because of a post that's going around atm, but I joined the fandom pretty late so I 've never followed their music before MITAM? Sorry for the rant and thank you

get ready for your DEATH

  • Use Somebody (not on the album but you’ve got to see this) 
  • Over Again (their verses are after another and it kills me)
  • Little Things (again, they follow each other up and then do the chorus together)
  • Rock Me (Louis: “I used to think that I was better alone” Harry: “Better alone” Louis: “why did I ever want to let you go?” Harry: “Let you go”)
  • Where Do Broken Hearts Go (at the end) 
  • No Control (all of it is beautiful)
  • Better Than Words, yes
  • Temporary Fix (Louis: “and if you’re feeling the weakness…” Harry: “WELL I TOLD YOU BABY THAT YOU COULD CALL ME” plus he’s screaming it up in the back of Louis’ entire verse hahah)
  • A.M. 
  • If I Could Fly (as if this song isn’t a cryfest as it is, have Harry: “I hope that you don’t run from me”, Louis: “for your eyes only….” )
  • Home (Louis: “I’ll make this feel like home”, Harry screeching “BAAAABY WE COULD BE ENOUGH” KILL ME WITH THIS SYMBOLISM)
  • 18 (Louis’ verse, then H&L sing it together, and then Harry launches into the rest of the chorus, and live it’s even worse)
  • Love You Goodbye (Louis’ high note and then Harry interrupting lowly…….. MURDER MY ASS)
  • One Thing (click the link, it’s the acoustic version and it’s beautiful, HL’s voices are really prominent together in the chorus)
  • WMYB (same thing, not really together but acoustic, they sit next to each other and please just watch it and cry)
  • Live While We’re Young (again, acoustic, i’m a fan, go to 0:33 IT KILLS ME)
  • You & I (Louis’ verse, Harry harmonises in the background)
  • Happily (in the chorus both H&L are really prominently there)
  • Last First Kiss (Harry at 2:28, Louis follows up the chorus)
  • She’s Not Afraid (they follow each other up)
  • Loved You First (same thing)
  • More Than This (… you know what I’m saying yet) 
  • Moments (really prominent together in the first chorus, follow each other up) 
  • Little Black Dress (again, Harry’s verse)
  • Strong (for the sake of it, Harry sings the chorus right after Louis’ verse)
  • Why Don’t We Go There

Some of them aren’t harmonies in the strict sense of the word but they’re still dream-teaming it up so it’s close enough, hahaha.  I probably missed a few, anyone’s welcome to add, but I had to stop before I collapsed. this should be enough to tide you over at least 

HAVE FUN CRYING!!

"why don't you like frozen?"
  • what i mean: It's a film that, essentially suffers from an existential crisis throughout the entire two hours it runs. There's no world building whatsoever, leaving too many unanswered questions the audience in regards to the magic and lore of the land. It's inferred the trolls know everything there is to know about magic, but it does not explain how Elsa recieved her powers in the first place, leaving a pretty big unanswered question. Also, the decision to take a fantasy race usually isolated from magicks as the main sage magicians was an ...interesting choice, and would have worked out a bit better if the world was built up more. The plot is all over the place, with there being no clear antagonist until the final arc of the movie. Is the Duke of Weaselton supposed to be the antagonist? No, and he honestly doesn't even belong in the movie: in what way does this character move forward the plot? He doesn't, so why is he given such emphasis? Is Elsa supposed to be the antagonist? Through the film the audience is constantly being given conflicting views as to whether or not we are supposed to sympathsize with her or hate her, and we're never given our answer until the final arc of the movie, which is, ironically, when the real antagonist show his face: Hans. Since he is introduced as he antagonist in the final arc, it makes Hans' development as a villain feel rushed and unnatural. Such a sudden heel-face turn from charming benevolent prince to cold-blooded killer feels wrong, and considering there was no foreshadowing or dramatic irony leading up the reveal, it comes as a shock to even the most watchful moviegoers. Beyond the shock response, there is no reason for the audience to hate Hans, making him an ineffective villain all in all. The audience only hates him because he betrayed the trust that was willingly given in the first half of the film. Yes, he wants to usurp the throne and kill everyone off, but wouldn't that incentive be more effective if it were presented as such from the beginning of the movie? Give the viewers hints and clues that he is not what he seems, making the reveal of his plan much more suspenseful. Additionally, if it were addressed from the beginning, a large amount of the aimless plotless wandering that plagued most of the first three-quarters of the movie would be practically non-existant. In addition, the shock factor response wears off eventually; the impact of his betrayal means less and less to the audience each time they watch it. Part of the reason of the weakness and confusion in the beginning also stems from the fact that the movie is trying to juggle too many characters. Many named characters are completely unneeded and did not need to steal screentime (and by extension, valuble character development) from the main characters (Anna, Elsa, Kristoff, and I guess Hans). And the lack of character development is bad. Really bad. Anna doesn't feel like a real person, even by Disney standards. Elsa is a bit more believable, but her "development" is rushed and inferred instead of shown to the audience as it should be. Why was there such an emphasis on the parents in the beginning if they were only going to be killed off for plot fuel? And as an audience member, I did not feel any sadness for their death or for how Anna and Elsa were grieving. Having Elsa locked in her room for upmost of ten years was just...weird. There was absolutely nothing that justified it, making the isolation feel like a cheap way out for the writers to transition from childhood to adulthood. And beyond that, Arendelle is shown to be a peaceful kingdom, so it makes no sense that Anna would not be allowed to leave the castle and walk amongst the city. If magic exists in this world, why was Elsa locked away? Why was it a secret? All of these questions stem from weak worldbuilding that justifies very little of the events of the movie. There are so many unanswered questions that rise up from what happens inbetween childhood and adulthood. Is there a puppet monarch? Was magic seen as something negative or unknown? Why the trolls. Why the trolls. I'm sorry I just do not understand the trolls. The romantic subplot again ties into making the trolls feel even more forced and unneeded and the Hans reveal stale, I don't need to go into this. From a technically standpoint, the animation is subpar compared to its contempararies. Rise of the Guardians, a movie made a year before Frozen, had better ice effects. The particle effects and textures were nothing to write home about and the numerous clipping issues are clear evidence that the final product was rushed. The character design is the biggest complaint everyone has heard the most, but, Jesus Christ, oh my god it's bad. There's virtually no variation in character design. The facial structure of all the women are practically identical. Elsa, Anna, their mother, even Rapunzel all look 100% identical. Perhaps that wouldn't be such a problem if their body types were the same as well. There's no power of silouette in the film, something that is absolutely crucial to animated film, making Anna and Elsa blend together not only in the film, but in the industry itself. They do not stand out. They are blank and bland. The music is the only good thing, and that's only considering some songs. "Let it Go" and "First Time in Forever" are strong, powerhouse showtunes that actually move the plot forward, as songs in a musical should, but "Fixer-Upper" and "Love is an Open Door," while good, solid songs, do relatively nothing for the plot can could be omitted without sacrificing anything. "In Summer" is a total joke song that literally fades into nothing--I could not recall the tune if I tried, and "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?" has a lot of potential but is, esentially, the same chorus repeated with little to no transition three times. It doesn't help that the song is also the most awkward contrived timeskip in the history of awkward contrived timeskips, again because it is never explained why Elsa is locked in her room at all. And the trolls and the--oh god. Please, all artists and writers, do NOT overlook the importance of worldbuilding. Even the dialogue is mediocre and does nothing to immerse the characters into the world around them. The resulting product is nothing but two hours of mediocrity masquerading as the best film of the decade in commercialization and ticket sales, but ultimately does nothing but leave a bad taste in the audience's mouth and will encourage Disney to continue making mediocre movies because they know they will sell and sell well.
  • what i say: because it's a bad movie

anonymous asked:

So, I'm really curious as to what kind of "Awkward Romantic Crap" Keith did during the first three weeks of dating Lance when they were "boyfriends-who-don't-know-how-to-be-boyfriends" XDD Could you maybe give some examples?

I could, but, really, isn’t stuff like that sometimes best left to the imagination? ;) … Right, who am I kidding? I’m a bit sleepy, so my apologies — I’m gonna just give ya one example of Keith being an awkward turtle of a person :)


Awkward Romantic Crap, The First

Keith adores Lance a stupid amount. He spent several months contemplating (between the denying and the repressing because feelings why?) the many ways he would kiss that loudmouth into silence, give him all the reasons as to why he was wanted and valuable, not allowing him the chance to doubt himself ever again, but now they were boyfriends and Keith … He just couldn’t find the words.

So he tried with this one romantic gesture — he tried to get Lance flowers. 

Lance had no allergies (Keith sacrificed his dignity to ask Hunk), the flowers were normal and totally not flesh-eating (Keith gave up a little more pride to ask Coran for where to get a bouquet), and flowers were a thing couples did (according to Shiro, and by this point Keith sort of wanted to live inside Red and never face the team again).

So the reason why this became Awkward Romantic Crap is because Keith just could not find the right time to give them to Lance. 

There had to be some kind of special boyfriend-sense he was lacking because it never felt right to just suddenly give Lance flowers. And he really didn’t want to do it in front of the others, and his private time with Lance was hard to come by and most of it they spent feeling out their relationship and having some truly humiliating (albeit necessary) talks about boundaries or whatever.

They bouquet stayed in his room for a week, the special space blooms starting to droop. 

Until Lance came into his room, rubbing the back of his neck, sheepishly asking if they could have a date-night on the observation deck couch … And going mute halfway through his question when he saw the flowers.

Silence for a few seconds. Then, “Uh, who’s brought you flowers? Wait, was it that chick with the Elvis hair? Keith, Keith did you bond with another mullet? Are you … Okay, I mean, no, I’m being dumb. You can get flowers from admirers, it’s fine. Just … you could have mentioned it? Do we have to talk about this kind of stuff too? Or am I being, like, possessive if I ask you to tell me? Oh god, am I a controlling boyfriend —”

Keith shut him up with a kiss (maybe this made his heart speed up in the most awesome ways, but that didn’t negate the strategic value for getting a word in when Lance was full-ramble.) And then, trying to keep the blush down and failing, he said quickly, “They’re for you. They were … I got them, a week back, and I just … I couldn’t figure out when to give them to you?”

“A week — were you hiding them whenever we were hanging out in here?”

Keith didn’t answer except to turn even redder.

Lance wasn’t a silly jackass all of the time (though Keith actually found that silly jackass behaviour kind of fun and/or sweet because he was doomed), so he didn’t mock Keith at all — he just smiled and said, “Uh, you can give them to me now, if you want?”

Instantly, Keith reached over to the vase, pulling the flowers out, a few navy blue petals falling as he all but thrust them into Lance’s chest, the stems dripping water. “These are for you.”

“And what’s the occasion?” Lance asked, pink blossoming along his cheeks, down his neck.

“Just … just that I … I’m good with us. Now. And … happy. Because of you. So, thanks. For your existence.”

Lance’s face was doing a thing — Keith couldn’t tell if he was fighting back laughter or tears, but then two arms wrapped around his shoulders, bringing him into a soft yet lingering kiss. Satin petals brushed against Keith’s face as Lance still gripped the bouquet tightly.

When they both pulled away, Lance was grinning and Keith didn’t feel so awkward anymore. 

Except when his boyfriend started speaking again … “Dude, would you have just let my flowers die before you grew a spine and gave them to their rightful owner? For shame, Red, for shame.” He dragged the bouquet into the limited space between them. “Look at my precious babies! Did you change the water? You’re supposed to change the water, Keith, you can’t just —”

Keith crushed the flowers between their chests in order to gain access to that irritating (delicious) mouth. Lance wailed about his flowers even as their lips met again. Keith let Lance go long enough to get the flowers some fresh water, watching him carefully tend to the blooms that were still intact.

And then Keith dragged him in for more kisses — he was always better with actions than words. Except flower-giving, apparently. But Keith had learned that he could do that kind of romantic crap, at least once. Better luck next time — he’d give them to Lance in front of everyone, come hell or high water, damn it.

(And maybe, at some point in the future, Keith finds a few dark blue flowers pressed between the pages of an old Altean book Allura had given Lance for his birthday. 

Keith will blush again, cringe at the memory, and then kiss his boyfriend stupid when he walks through his bedroom door because he truly adores Lance a stupid amount, and Lance always appreciates his awkwardness, sees his efforts as the most sincere gestures of love, and Keith can’t help but see any mockery that did come his way as endearing. 

So doomed.)


I am off to bed, and oh so tired, but hopefully this drabble makes some kind of sense. Hope you found it both awkward and enjoyable! ;D *hugs* Many thanks for asking!

Shit said in my Discord group

“While you fight I’m just gonna be making my ramen”
“pest control guy is ur new pokemon”
"this kingler is not accepting my balls”
“I just love seeing how you guys can embarrass yourselves over this”
“Don’t take that out of context”
“Fite me I will make you short”
“Oh hey dude how is it going my shipping troll homeslice breadslice shipslice”
“i came platonically into this room to have a platonic good time and honestly i feel so attacked in a non sexual way”
“Who is better waifu: ____ or _____? I’m asking because I’m caught in the middle of an argument about the topic, and I don’t wanna settle it right away due to the fact that I wouldn’t even hesitate to say ____”
“MY FRIEND TEXTED ME AT FUCKING 2AM! IM GONNA GET BACK AT HIM! IVE READ UP ON PETTY REVENGE I GOT THIS!”
“Sleep so you can blep”
“as apparently i am double satan, i approve of not fucking no”
“I thought this was about the soda for a second”
“You pulled that out of your donkey. The other word for donkey. That begins with an A. And ends with an s.”
“We’re down one furry… This is gonna be hard”
“Do I have to nickshame?”
“I care about chieves because I’m a chiev hoe!”
“Don’t do school, stay in vegetables and eat your drugs.”
"And the Lord did say: eat a bag of dicks”
“Jesus layed a hand on the tax collectors and proclaimed, "Eat my Diction.”
“I platonically think you’re platonically wrong platonically”
“And then there’s kermit.”
“We chill. We chill. We chill. We good. We good? Alright lets go.”
“___ God dammit put your dick away”
“It’s just a prank! It’s just a prank! It’s just a social experiment! A social experiment gone wrong! GONE WRONG!”
“You will not crush me like a bug, I will crush you like a bug for the tenth time gosh dangit!”
“Hey! Leave me be! I’m only slaughtering innocents! I’m not doing wrong!”
“My jackets on the floor, my ego is on it, and my back hurts.”
“Not only are they dying, but they’re dead.”
“By the power of my gigantic yaoi hands, I shall survive this night!”
“I question this group sometimes. And by sometimes I mean all the time.”
“I’m using my night time sexy voice”
“Now we can clean house on yo ass”
“welcome to the bitch house”
“shoot ____ first thats all im asking”
“you mother bitch”
“your dad has a minion kink”
“#Let_____BeThe6Foot3Baby”
“i think we are killing ___ mentally”
“You guys are to be honest. Great and stupid”
“clickty clack clickty clack with this chant I summon spam to the chat”
“You either die a DONG, or live long enough to become the DONGER”
“YOU’RE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING CASUAL. COME OUT WITH YOUR DONGERS RAISED”
“YOU STOLE THE PEEPO”
“a graceful death? you mean flying into the fucking sun”
“I am a howdere”
“did you just call me a tiny angry gremlin”
“the fuck type of kinky shit is happening”
“I think dying is bad for your heath, but I’m not to certain.”
“Guys help i need hardcore memes”
“So I wrapped my mom’s present today, and I’m looking at the wrapping paper, and it’s about as straight as ___; not at all.”
“Update: FRESHMAN FRIDAY People got jumped, thrown in trashcans and shit I however, am fine”
“slide back into sin mountain”
“Hold up ____ likes murder children Explains why she is bias towards me”
“I can’t offer ideas….so I’m just…gonna go back to stabbing at ice with a knife…”
“FUCKING STOP PAPPING BEFORE I FLIP MY SHIT”
“Someone take food and punch me in the gut so hard that it goes into my stomach”
“I see this green foot at the corner of my eye, and I think to myself “No he fucking didn’t-” And I look up and see Kermit the fucking frog holding a double barrel shotgun”
“Okay shut the fuck your mouth.”
“Death cannot come fast enough….In a platonic way, shut up ___”
“It’s not Google, it’s Wikipedia.”
“FUCK YOU! TECH SUPPORT BULLSHIT! FUCK!”
“Did you just curse at me in Mexicanese?”
“Being in band and playing the saxophone was always rough for dirty minded little me….i always had to practice my fingering and tonguing….”

multiotp  asked:

"I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE ANY MORE!" "I DON'T RECOGNIZE MY SELF!" That's in all caps because I see it as screamed. Can you do that for boyf friends sorry I'm so awkward and used to being able to hide behind anonymous but I've fallen in love with your writing lately. Only if you want to you don't have too

I FINALLY DID IT AH! So sorry it took me so long, I could go on about exams and all that shit but I’m sensing you will hopefully get the picture.
Regardless, thank you for the prompt/request!

——

It was a Saturday night and the boys were spending their time wisely - playing video games in Michael’s basement. They weren’t sure how long they had been in there but neither bothered to care.

Finally, after hours of waiting, Jeremy was released from hospital. After the eventful school day on Friday Michael had offered that Jeremy stay at his house that night to catch a break, and Jeremy whole
-heartedly agreed. As soon as they arrived home, Jeremy collapsed onto Michael’s bed and fell asleep, exhausted from all the questions he had received that day. Michael soon followed suit and before they knew it the two woke up at 3am on a Saturday morning.

Now, with nothing else to do, the boys were still playing video games. Eventually, the inevitable red with white text ‘GAME OVER’ flashed onto the screen, ending the particular match.

“Awe come on!” Michael complained, setting down the controller and flopping onto the beanbag behind him. Jeremy sat adjacent, frowning at the TV. “I thought we were finally gonna beat that one!”

“Y-Yeah…” Jeremy replied, still staring at the TV. After a few seconds passed, Michael sighed, hoisted himself upright and went to eject the disk from the console.

“Woah Michael, we were playing-”

“Not anymore,” he announced, returning the disk to its place on the shelf. “I wanna play something I know we can win.”

Before Jeremy could question him, Michael pushed an unknown disk into the slot and bounced back into his beanbag just in time to see the words ‘Apocalypse of the Damned’ appear on screen.

“Oh…” Said Jeremy in response.

“Come on dude,” Michael cheered, grabbing his controller off the floor and hitting play. “This one is no match for us.”

——

An hour later and Michael was seriously starting to worry about Jeremy. Not only had they not gotten past their usual warmup match but had been stuck in the same God damn area for 60 whole minutes. And Micheal knew something was up when Jeremy didn’t respond to his usual code words for 'Zombie, right behind you’ or 'Use the axe not the riffle for this one’ - the list went on. Eventually, he jammed down on the pause button and turned to face his best friend.

“Ok, what happened?” He demanded, snatching the controller from Jeremy’s hands.

“W-what?” Jeremy stuttered in response, completely oblivious to his best friend’s reasons for questioning.

“Something’s up, I can tell. You’re usually great at this game bro! Even better than me. But something’s off tonight.” Micheal shuffled closer and rest his head in his palms. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

Jeremy shifted awkwardly on the beanbag, trying not to meet Michael’s gaze.

“I..I-it’s nothing really I just-”

“It’s the Squip isn’t it,” Michael said, instantly recognising the type of hesitation he was being given. For the past few hours Michael had tried to ask Jeremy about the Squip but all that he received was the same 'it was nothing’ stammer each time.

Jeremy looked up, something shifting in his demeanour.

“I don’t want to play this anymore.” He stated, slowly and every words feeling like a drop of venom.

“W-what?” Michael said in response.

Jeremy locked eyes with Michael and arched his back so that he was sitting upright. He spoke even clearer.

“I don’t want to play this anymore”

“Yo Jeremy, dude, calm down.” Michael started, reaching out to his best friend. But Jeremy flinched backwards, slapping Michael’s fingers away.

“D-don’t touch me tall ass!” He cried, falling off of the beanbag and into the floor. Instantly he recognised the words that he had spoken, covering his mouth with his spare hand. But Michael had already heard them.

“W…what did you just call me?” He stammered, slowly rising from the beanbag. Jeremy climbed off of the floor to meet him, stuttering an attempted apology.

“I didn’t mean- that’s not what I - fuck - Michael I, that- that wasn’t-”

“T-Tall ass?!” Michael cried, stepping away from Jeremy. “What the hell dude?”

“No Michael I-”

“What happened to you?” He questioned, louder this time. “What has he done to you Jer? Was it worth it? Making you popular but turning you into… this?”

“I don’t-”

“Dude I don’t know who you are anymore-”

“I DON’T EVEN RECOGNISE MYSELF!” Came Jeremy’s answer. Michael flinched at the sudden increase in volume, eyes flying up to meet his best friend’s. Jeremy’s bright blue eyes soon began to fill with tears as he slumped against the wall.

“He’s gone Michael… but he won’t go away…” he muttered, head flying into to his hair. “Everything I do, I can still hear that voice in the back of my mind telling me what I’m doing wrong, mirroring his exact words. And I do it! I listen to it, because that’s what I’ve been programmed to do.”

“Jeremy…”

“And you know what the worst part is Michael? That voice isn’t even real! It’s inside my head, because it’s my voice. It’s me telling all those things. I CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT MICHAEL! I-”

Jeremy was interrupted by the sudden feeling of arms wrapping around his waist and pulling his close into Michael’s chest. The boy hung on tightly, head hidden in the crook of Jeremy’s tear-stricken neck. Soon, his hands lowered from his hair to return the hug and the two slowly slid against the wall onto the floor.

No words were spoken between the two, just the action of each other being there was enough. The soft hum of the console filled the basement, the smell of candy and Mountain Dew carried through the air.

Eventually, Michael spoke, breaking the silence.

“I don’t care what he told you Jeremy, but you will always be my player two and nothing will change that ok? We’ll fight this, and we’ll come through stronger.” He tightened the hug between them. “I’ll always be here for you Jer.”

The tall boy smiled, returning the pressure of the embrace. He couldn’t help the shift in his smile as he spoke:

“That’s what friends are for yeah?”

Michael’s expression wavered as he responded.

“Yeah… best friends.”

Okay??? But??? Beauty and the Beast???

I just got done watching Beauty and the Beast, the new remake, with @icarus-will-rise and… wow… I think there were times I cut off the circulation in his hand I loved it so much

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?
As usual, spoilers. This will be tagged as such tho.

• THE. CHOREOGRAPHY. AT. THE. BEGINNING. As a dancer, this was what made me instantly love the movie, like IT’S HISTORICALLY ACCURATE AND BEAUTIFUL AND??? WHY??? I LOVE IT SO MUCH
• C O S T U M I N G. I especially loved at the end that some of the servants still had face paint on their faces, like “oh yeah, that’s still there, it’s not like they’ve magically had their human faces cleaned while they’re not human or anything”
• speaking of the end, “Turn back into a clock. TURN BACK INTO A CLOCK.”
• and when the piano turned back he had no teeth? I approve
• also speaking of the end, HOT DAMN, Dan Stevens’ growl when Emma Watson asks him to grow a beard… like… damn… even @icarus-will-rise agrees that was hawt
• THE TRANSITIONS FROM THE HUMANIZED OBJECTS INTO NORMAL OBJECTS MADE ME CRY. Cogsworth not being able to talk, Mrs. Potts’ face disappearing, Chip’s dish shattering (I GOT SO SCARED), Lumiere and Plumette, the dog with his legs up, just, AH
• Okay, unpopular opinion here, I didn’t love the songs all THAT much. The originals are better. Emma and Dan definitely did a great job recreating the songs and all, but I think we can all agree the original “Beauty and the Beast” by Angela Lansbury smashes the new one to pieces, right?
• However, on that note, the new songs were pretty good and fit right into the soundtrack in everything from background music to lyrics. Evermore was good, but the one in the movie was def better than the credits one, I mean, come ON, guys.
• Okay, back to the movie–
• LeFou.
• LEFOU.
• L E F O U.
• Props to the casting director for ALL of his/her choices (Emma Watson could not have made a better Belle if she spent DECADES preparing for this role), but OH MY GOD JOSH GAD AS LEFOU.
• I don’t know WHO saw Olaf in Frozen and went, “This snowman would make a great gay sidekick for Gaston”, but whoever did, I love them.
• Speaking of LeFou, he went through some GREAT character development. From being completely obsessed with Gaston at the beginning (telling the Bimbettes they didn’t have a chance, talking to an imaginary Gaston in the mirror, calming Gaston down with thoughts of the war <which was HILARIOUS btw>, winking during “Gaston”) to actually having a backbone after they tie Maurice up in the woods (you can see him begin to shift his alignment, and lose his love for Gaston, there) to finally being like “yeah, screw this, Gaston wouldn’t save me from a falling talking piano with key teeth missiles, I'mma help the talking teapot spraying my fellow villagers instead”. I LOVED LeFou.
• You know who else loved LeFou? THE DRAG QUEEN. I know he’s either Tom, Dick, or Stanley, and @icarus-will-rise and I think it would be pretty ironic if he was Dick. I’ll have to check when it comes out on DVD since I wasn’t really paying attention, and by GOD I loved that little hint that they ended up together during the dance at the end.
• Anyway, back to the plot
• Those wolves were TERRIFYING
• Also, I don’t know about you guys, but instantly when I saw the beggar lady I was like “she’s gonna be important”. It was when she rescued Maurice I knew she was the enchantress in disguise, don’t ask me how, I just knew. They wouldn’t put a character in there randomly unless she was essential to the storyline, so I guess that’s why I guessed that.
• …did I mention LeFou was by far my favorite?
• But Emma Watson came in as a close second. By GOD, she was a great Belle. Her reaction to that library was tbh exactly how I would’ve reacted.
• Like I said, casting was spot-on amazing.
• You could FEEL the angst radiating off of Beast.
• Maurice was great, not as kooky as the original but I like him better as a sad artist.
• ^By the way, Belle’s parents’ backstory had me in tears. The plague representation was so accurate and answered SO many questions of mine.
• Also, Gaston was really good
• He actually tried to woo Belle a little instead of being like “I’m so great, you should totally marry me just for my looks and charm and hunting skills and my luxurious hair”
• He gave her flowers, sorta kinda pretended to be interested in her books, and seemed genuinely interested in saving her when the townsfolk were being mean so at the beginning I was sorta like “gee, why’s Belle being so rude and shit”, which was the only reason I didn’t like the change in Gaston’s behavior
• Then he started being a dick to her dad and I was like “whoops never mind”
• Umm,,, the fight against the villagers was really great?? Mrs. Potts seeing her husband (who was the citizen with the most sense, let’s be honest here) and falling from the chandelier, the boiling tea, THE DRAG QUEENS, Chip being a badass smol, Lumiere’s fireworks display, Plumette dusting people’s faces and the piano being heroic by trying to cover the door? It was A+
• Also “GRANDMOTHER?!?!?1?????!!??!!”
• Le Fou… the gay is strong with this one…
• Basically, I loved Beauty and the Beast’s live action remake, 10/10 would watch again.

• My only problem is her dress, really. My only GIANT problem, that is.
• They didn’t include the dog in “Beauty and the Beast” (the song), but fine, I’ll forgive that
• My major problem is that dress
• Okay, fine, it’s got the appliqués, but WHERE IS THE NECKLINE
• WHERE ARE THE CORRECT RUFFLES NOT THIS RUFFLE SHIT YOU GIVE US DISNEY
• We demand the truth
• (Side note: what is it with Emma Watson’s dresses being inaccurate in movies because this is now the second one???)

i’m in love with the shape of you.
  • Summary: “It had been easy, for the first two or three weeks, to take things slow like they had agreed to when they started dating. (…) Now the problem was that even though Kara believed she had a good sense of self control, whenever Lena was around her, it seemed to run short.” Inspired by this tweet.
  • Pairing: Kara/Lena.
  • Rating: STRAIGHT UP SIN. +18
  • Beta’d by: Bia, who by the way forced me to write this. (@kinkylena)

It had been easy, for the first two or three weeks, to take things slow like they had agreed to when they started dating. Lena was chivalrous, gentle, sweet. All Kara could’ve wanted for in a partner. Most of their time together was spent in late night dates, drinking expensive wine and chinese takeout, maybe watching a bad movie, maybe playing chess (Lena insisted she wasn’t letting Kara win, that she had just improved but Kara didn’t believe a word she said), maybe just cuddling under a fuzzy blanket telling each other about their days. And of course, kissing. Now the problem was that even though Kara believed she had a good sense of self control, whenever Lena was around her, it seemed to run short.

Keep reading

Reward.

Bucky Barnes/Reader/Matt Murdock.

Warnings: SMUT.  Threesome, porn without plot, terrible writting, double penetration, oral sex (fr), unprotected sex (this is fantasy, we’re all adults. Remember that safe sex is the best sex), dirty talk, excessive use of endearments. Me being a shameless thirsty hoe.

Word Count: 3866.

Rating: 18+

This came up thanks to @asirenscalling because, while I was rewatching Daredevil, we started to talk about this scenario, so thank her for this.

Also @sexylibrarian1 said she needed it and @thecrownedrose because she’s amazing and we like to spoil each other. 

Keep reading

theformallynamedblog  asked:

I am not the person who asked for deaf Taehyung but i was wondering if you could make a little drabble where u 2 meet and u know a little sign language but once Taehyung starts rapid fire signing ur like lmao boy pls I'm not that good. N while u r trying to sign Taehyung just thinks it's really cute how hard you are trying n refusing to let his friend/interpreter Jimin help you

It’s a pleasant and warm afternoon on a Saturday with one of the things on your list to take a time out by a cafe. However, the walk there was a little… something out of the ordinary than you were used to.

You see a guy struggling to get his message across with his hands, a raging man opposite him raising his voice every possible second and scaring any passersby. When you pause for a moment to see that it’s sign language, of which you understand a part of, you’re making your way over to hopefully resolve the problem.

He’s lost out of his mind, only struggling so much to sign anything he could possibly think of that you’re able to pick up the sentence of I didn’t steal!

Your reflexes are quick to come in between the pair of them and it confuses them to keep quiet (on the other side, at least). Hands coming up to offer as a way to show you mean no harm, you vocalize it to a man that’s about to turn red (borderline purple), “Sir, I think he’s either deaf or a mute and he’s using sign language to talk to you,”

Even though he’s pissed, he’s levelheaded to ask: “W-What is he saying, then?”

Mustering up any bit of memory you have with sign language, you manage to ask him what happen?

I saw his wallet drop. I tried to return it to him but then he shout at me. Called me a liar, thief.

With an inkling of what he meant, you face the man and explain what you understand: “Sir, he saw your wallet fall and he was only trying to return it to you. He wasn’t stealing from you,”

“…oh,” You only offer him an awkward smile, reaching out to pat his shoulder as he rubs the back of his neck, “Could you help me say I’m sorry?”

“Sure,”

Digging in the parts of your mind for what the heck sorry signs as, you remember it after a couple of seconds to sign to him: he said sorry.

It’s ok.

“He said it’s fine,”

“Thank you, by the way,”

“It’s nothing,”

Said guy greets you a nice day and heads on his way, making sure to wave goodbye to someone he almost ran down with his words and voice earlier. Luckily, he has some sense in him to realize he’s in the wrong and - “Yes?”

You can barely catch up with what he’s trying to say, hands moving in a speed where in the beginning you decipher a thank you but soon after it’s an act of not knowing a single thing he’s saying. There’s hints of gratitude with relief here and there but altogether, you’re a goner if you’re trying to interpret what he says. At least on the bright side… he’s cute?

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you just - oh my god,” You finally realize he’s deaf, which is why he can’t hear a single word you’re saying and let’s just say your mind has gone blank to remember what slow down or wait is. Your fingers clamp in front of you, hoping for someone or something to help and apparently help is nearby when - “Hey!”

You look over his shoulder to see someone jogging up to the both of you and upon reaching, it seems like it’s someone this stranger knows when his tensed shoulders sag down.

“What’re you doing?”

His curt tone sends you to step back and it elicits a small wince from the guy who hasn’t stopped signing since he said his thanks. The two of them sign back and forth, communicating before you and it’s not long until - “You helped him?”

“…I guess,”

“He said you understand sign language. Really?”

“I know a bit here and there. Luckily I understood the words he used,”

“Thank you so much, miss…?”

“Y/N,” You offer your hand, with a small smile and he accepts it, “I’m Jimin and this is Taehyung. He’s-”

“Deaf. I think I picked up on it earlier,”

“Ah, so-”Jimin gets interrupted when Taehyung tugs on his shoulder, only to quickly send a message to make him-”Really? You can barely talk to her and you want me to tell her she’s cute?”

You can tell they’re both so close, Taehyung doesn’t even need to see the sign version of what Jimin had just said. Grabbing onto Jimin’s arm to shake it with a frown, Taehyung’s version to say please?

Jimin only rolls his eyes, turning to you, “He thinks you’re cute,”

“I heard it the first time,”

“Hey, um, this might be a little sudden but I think Mr. Cassanova over here wants to get to know you so is it okay if we have coffee?”

You look at Taehyung look at Jimin and when you make eye contact, it’s endearing how he wants to look at you but shies away by hanging his head low to the ground. Chuckling, you nod, “Sure I mean, I was already planning to have some so why not?”

From there, Jimin signs something to Taehyung that lifts the corners of Taehyung’s mouth into a grin, automatically doing the same to yours and Jimin at the sight of this domino effect.

((you’re really pretty, y/n.

thank you, taehyung.

you’re welcome.

“this is going to be one hell of a love story.”))

sneak peak of i’m not ashamed

SCENE ONE: long haired Rachel holds an fruit longingly while Token Goth Girl in a Christian Movie twaddles her fingers. They all have apples and nothing else. Just apples at this table. And everyone looks miserable.

OwO what’s this? She looks to the side and sees Rat Boy, Dildo Ebola, eating an orange. That’s the orange table, Rachel. We’re the apple table. We don’t associate with them. Why are they eating so much fruit? Why is he looking at her like that? Why is he looking at her at all? Why does he care?

dude


fLUSTERED dylan suddenly turns to his orange

Yes… orange, very peely and orange. he is looking for anything to distract him from his boring red-shirted friend, who is staring lustfully at an apple, a probable symbolism of the girls at the Apple Table . 

“get rid of all the fat ugly retarted gross stupid weird nerd star wars fans old people nickelback fans bronies twihards people that arent i eric har” wAIT, this red shirted, hairy-armed chap must be Eric Hairless! Wonderful. He has a glass of apple juice, and an apple. What a rebellious choice from someone outside the Apple Table. Must symbolize what will happen to the people at the Apple Table. Eric you cruel monster….. you devil…. I cant even look at him and his ham sandwich. 

Dildo and random guy who i’m assuming is some sort of Brooks Brown character look at ranting child Eric with distaste. Is he done? Will he ever be done? Seems, upon closer inspection, Dylan is the only one eating an orange. Is every table the Apple Table? Does this symbolize how Dildo Memaw had no sense of belonging in the world? What the everloving fuck is Brooks Brown Guy wearing? 1950′s Grandpa pajamas? That’s not grunge at all. We have our first glance at the pristine white hats in the background. Our eric finishes his rant and looks at Dildo for validation. W-Was it cool, Dylan-senpai? OwO?

“y-yeah.” He stutters. Oh god. I can just smell Dave Cullen. What the fuck is he wearing??? Is that some kind of bondage harness? Or it could be just a keycard or something but to what? Weird design to it also.

Eric, finding validation in the y-yeah, continues on with his rant, looking up from his beloved apple to his gay lover. “Nobody is deserving of this planet,” he says “just me and who i chose.” FUNNY because I think i remember the quote being “Give the world back to the animals, they deserve it more than we do,” but of course they had to satan it up so people hated him more.

“send them all up to space”

“dude we can’t send them to space”

TWO trenchcoated figures appear in the background! We weren’t looking at Dylan and Eric the entire time! These inaccuracies weren’t actually inaccuracies. Thank you Dave. But they are. 

“look at these F AR T K N O CK ERS!!!”

alright, i’ll admit i lost my s h i t when he said that. Whhhhat? is that a slang for gay… because like, anal? Probably not. Probably a Christian censored version of ‘fag’ or something. So… it could be? I don’t know. It’s easier not to think about it….. they never said it…………………………………… they never said it….

“what’s up? F O U R E YE S” he pushes the trenchcoated chap into a table. 

He kinda just nudges him into the table, but he flies across the table, knocking everything over, breaking his spine and rendering him immobile for the rest of his life. Not really. But i’m sure Dave asked. By the way, yes, I’m sure Dave Cullen is involved with this movie. He can call me a dirtbag, but I know.

he gets up?

and falls to the ground, his trenchcoat goth friends dragging him away as Jock Stud over there kicks him. He has been rendered immobile for some reason. Everyone watches, amused. This always happens at 12:00. Same time every morning. It’s a spectacle.

come on bro, we gotta be gay somewhere else…. these heterosexuals don’t accept us.”

“YEAH GOOD JOB HELPING YOUR BUDDY OUT GUYS, GOOD TEAMWORK”

thanks, jock? is that even an insult? thanks for the motivation,

The jocks laugh in triumph, they have belittled another Goth. They’re so fucking cool, and they know it. There are many ways to wear a white hat, but they’re all wearing it at a 90 degree angle, pristine white like they soak them in bleach before they go to school, and backwards. 

they have this really long pan on this black kid. Eric’s face is wrinkled in distaste. I think this is the moment trying to signify that Eric is racist because he’s looking at the black bully distastefully. Alright, Christian Movie. Thanks for that.

Rachel giving the Lanza Stare™ to the Jocks. 

Who is this and why are him and Rachel making intimate eye contact? He looks like Dennis the Menace. Like who the fuck is this supposed to be. Also what shampoo does that other jock guy use? Damn

*wink*

What I’m assuming is he’s one of Rachel’s friends that is trying to relapse and recover from his Jock Asshole ways but he can’t seem to quit. Rachel reminds him and he feels shame.

Back to the Sin Table, Dylan looks expectantly at Eric as he continues peeling his fucking orange. He expects him to be like I DONT CARE WHAT YOU SAY IF YOU EVER TOUCH HIM AGAIN ILL FRICKIN KILL YOU ILL PULL OUT A GODDAMN SHOTGUN AND BLOW YOUR DAMN HEAD OFF DO YOU UNDERSTAND YOU LITTLE WORTHLESS PIECE OF CRAAAAHP but no, sadly, because that is not Eric’s true colors. That is his mobster alter-ego, Reb.

He looks like a thirty year old christian youth leader that’s newly married with a baby on the way. But he looks angry also… i guess?? I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.

he violently bangs his apple on the table. Damn, does he want to bang someone from the Apple Table on the table?/?/????? Where does his violence end

ooh dam, it got a broose. Also he’s fucking shredded. Why.

-the scene fades to black-

🎶🎶When You Collect Records🎶🎶
  • Hipster: *moves dusty old boxes out of the way* Whoa, an old record player. It looks like it's in working order too! *runs outside*
  • Hipster: Yo, dad!
  • Dad: What?
  • Hipster: We're getting rid of all of poppop's stuff, right?
  • Dad: There's something you want, isn't there?
  • Hipster: There's this old stereo record player in the attic.
  • Dad: What do you need a record player for?
  • Hipster: My record collection.
  • Dad: I didn't even know they still made those things. Can't you just listen to music on your phone?
  • Hipster: Dad, there's a big difference between listening to music digitally and on record.
  • Dad: Fine, I don't wanna get into it with you right now. You can take the record player. You just have to get someone else to take it to your place for you. My truck's full.
  • Hipster: Thanks dad! *smooches dad on the cheek*
  • *later at hipster's apartment*
  • Friend: So, like Patch Adams ends with Patch Adams half-naked in front of a ton of people. I don't know if it was meant to be funny or like a weird sex thing, but like the movie was just a deeply disturbing character study. I can't stop thinking about it.
  • Hipster: That sounds boring. *unlocks door to apartment* Ta-da! Here it is! My new record player!
  • Friend: New? Looks fucking old to me, dude.
  • Hipster: Well, it is old. That's the appeal. And we're going to listen to the new Sufjan record on it.
  • Friend: Is that actually how you say Sufjan? Apparently, I've been pronouncing it wrong this whole time.
  • Hipster: Well, you won't after this record. There's an entire track where he just says his name for four minutes. It's amazing. *plays records*
  • Record Player: *coughs* Hello. Hello! Where am I? Doctor? Hello! Why is it so dark...............................Can I breathe? I can't breath. Oh god, I'm not breathing! Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god! I.....................................
  • Hipster: Uh, that's not Sufjan.
  • Friend: It totally isn't. Is it some guest vocalist? I like the new direction he's going in. No instruments or singing, and long stretches of silence. Very experimental.
  • Hipster: *stops record player* I think maybe we should do something else for now.
  • Friend: Fucking lame! I wanted to listen to more Sufjan.
  • *days later at the record store*
  • Hipster: Yo, I think the Sufjan Stevens record I bought from here might be some kind of mispress.
  • Store Clerk: Really? It's a pretty major album. I doubt there'd just be a mispress like that.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but listen to it. It's not Sufjan at all. It's some girl talking.
  • *hipster and clerk listen to a completely normal Sufjan Stevens album together*
  • Store Clerk: What are you talking about? This is definitely Sufjan Stevens.
  • Hipster: Okay, but it wasn't like that when I listened to it at home! I even listened to it with my friend and he heard the same thing!
  • Store Clerk: Maybe there's something wrong with your record player.
  • Hipster: Hmm, maybe there is.
  • *back at the apartment*
  • Hipster: *turns on record player and just listens*
  • Record Player: ...I'm awake again. Why did I black out? Did I even black out? God, I'm not breathing, but it doesn't matter. Why don't I need to breathe? Am I even alive?
  • Hipster: Can you hear me?
  • Record Player: Doctor. Doctor! DOCTOR! Why can't I move? Why can't I feel anything. Keep yourself together. It'll all make sense soon. Calm down. Just breathe deeply. Fuck, I can't breathe! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I CAN'T BREATHE! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! HELP! HELP ME, PLEASE! I'M STUCK! I CAN'T MOVE! PLEASE HELP ME!
  • Hipster: *turns off record player* It's just a recording, I bet. I can't believe I talked to it like an idiot... *nervously turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: I blacked out again. I blacked out. For how long? Is there even time here? Hell. This is hell, right? Did I go to hell.........................................
  • Hipster: *listens to the record player for hours*
  • Record Player: Negative 6893 bottles of wine on the wall! Negative 6893 bottles of wine! Take one down, pass it around, Negative 6894 bottles of wine on the wall... fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
  • Hipster: *keeps listening*
  • Record Player: Soul of Christ, make me holy, Body of Christ, be my salvation. God, please forgive me. I'm sorry for all of my sins. Please free me. I'm so sorry. Please. Please. Please.
  • Hipster: *still listening*
  • Record Player: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! SHITTY DOCTOR! FUCK YOU! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! *sobs intensely* FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK EVERYTHING! Please just let me go.
  • Hipster: *nervously walks up to record player and lightly taps on it*
  • Record Player: ...A knock. A KNOCK! PLEASE HELP ME! I'M STUCK! PLEASE! *record player begins shake violently*
  • Hipster: *backs away in fear*
  • Record Player: HELP! HELP! HELP ME! PLEASE, IF SOMEONE'S THERE, HELP ME! HELP ME! I'M STUCK! GET ME OUT OF HERE, PLEASE!
  • Hipster: *unplugs record player*
  • Hipster: *gets hammer from the closet and begins to break apart record player*
  • Record Player: *drips red*
  • Hipster: W-What? *cracks front of record player open*
  • *rotting viscera falls from the record player*
  • Hipster: O-Oh... *stuffs viscera back into the record player and duct tapes over it*
  • Hipster: *turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: ...I can feel. It hurts. Why does it hurt now? Why does it hurt? Why? Why? Why? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? *spurts blood through it speakers and begins to gurgle*
  • Record Player: *hops forward* Please just let me go. Please... please. I'll do anything. I just want to see you again. I'm so sorry. This isn't what I asked for. I'm so sorry. *hops forward again and comes unplugged*
  • Record Player: *tips over, bleeding heavily onto the carpet*
  • Hipster: *silently cleans up the mess*
  • *some time later*
  • Hipster: *calls dad* Hey, dad. Oh, nothing. Uh, I just need to borrow your truck, If not tonight sometime this week. I just need to get rid of something. No, no, that's fine, I can do it myself. Yeah, tomorrow morning is perfect. Thanks Love you too. Bye.
  • *the next afternoon*
  • Dad: So, what did you need to get rid of this morning?
  • Hipster: Nothing important. Just some old junk... Dad, what kind of person was poppop?
  • Dad: Well, he was only the greatest man I've known in my life. Really caring, dedicated to his family. When you were born he loved you so much. He was a bit of a loner, though. It took a lot to get him to open up. Even around me and your grandmother. He was a bit like you. Always a huge music lover.
  • Hipster: I see. Was he ever a doctor?
  • Dad: That's a weird thing to ask. Nope. He hated doctors. Didn't trust modern medicine one bit. It's ironic. His cancer probably wouldn't have gotten to him if he did. But, your poppop was always so stubborn.
  • Hipster: Oh, okay then.
  • *some days later*
  • Friend: New carpet?
  • Hipster: Yup, old one was ugly wasn't it. It was time for a change.
  • Friend: That's what I've been telling you! I'm glad you finally came to your senses. What happened to your record player, though?
  • Hipster: That thing? I threw it away. It was busted.
  • Friend: That sucks. Are you gonna buy a new one?
  • Hipster: No.
  • Friend: But you won't have anything to play your records on.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but I buy records because I want to support the artists. They're not really for listening. Besides, lossless is better. FLAC is the future.

I’ve been cracking myself up thinking of like a college au where Dean just took his patronus quiz and he’s pissed because he got some tiny animal like a cat or a fucking weasel (which is what I got wtf jo) so he’s seething to his best friend Cas who is like really indifferent, trying to study during Dean’s rant until Dean asks what Cas got and Cas says “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I haven’t taken the quiz.”

And Dean immediately pulls out his laptop, muttering “What the hell Cas we have to know NOW. Damn Ravenclaws always too busy studying to do the important things…”

“Ravenclaw?”

“Yeah that’s your house isn’t it?”

“I don’t know.”

And Dean rolls his eyes. “How do you not know your house?”

“I haven’t taken that quiz either.”

And that launches Dean into another fit because what kind of self-respecting Harry Potter fan hasn’t been sorted into their house?

“But Dean, I’m not a Harry Potter fan. I’ve never even read the books.”

Dean is positively scandalized. He cannot believe his ears or his eyes staring blankly into the face of a man with no shame or remorse for the poisonous confession that had just escaped his beautiful too-pink lips.

“HOW HAVE WE BEEN FRIENDS FOR TEN YEARS AND YOUVE NEVER READ HARRY POTTER?!”

“I didn’t know it was a requirement?”

“Have you seen any of the eight movies?”

“There are eight?”

“OH MY FUCKING GOD CAS.”

Cas has the decency to put his book down. “Dean, I think you’re overreacting.”

“This is not overreacting. I’m friends with a heathen whose never read Harry Potter. Like you couldn’t even be one of those cheaters that just watched the movies, Cas, honestly?”

“It never appealed to me.”

“Who are you?”

Cas rolls his eyes. “Dean, if it means that much to you, I will take the quiz.”

“Oh no no no. You have to earn the quiz. We have work to do, Novak.”

And so is the story of how Castiel Novak lost a weekend of studying to marathoning the entire Harry Potter series.

When he finished Dean allowed him to take the sorting quiz. And as predicted he was a Ravenclaw.

Dean rolled his eyes at the result. “Typical.”

“Is it really that big of a deal?”

“Is it a big deal?” Dean scoffed. “Getting sorted into Hufflepuff was the second greatest identify crisis of my life, right behind my sophomore year sexuality crisis.”

And Cas looks skeptical but doesn’t argue because he remembers Dean’s sophomore year sexuality crisis and it was quite a mess.

He lets Dean show him to the patronus quiz and tries not to feel anxious as Dean paces behind him like this animated test determines his entire future. 

“I’m an owl.”

Dean sinks onto his bed, a small pout bending his lips. “Oh.”

“Is that bad?” The quiz doesn’t give an explanation, so Cas has no way of knowing if the owl symbolizes something deeper in the Harry Potter universe. Maybe it’s a bad omen.

“No, it’s just… don’t owls eat weasels?”

Cas squints. “I suppose, yes. They eat rodents and small vermin, which would include weasels.”

Dean glares at him. “Wow, thanks, Cas.”

“I don’t understand why you’re disappointed. I’m not going to attack you, Dean.”

And Dean is red now, trying to avoid Cas’s gaze. “I know. But I- I thought we’d be something more… compatible.” He fidgets, releases a resigned sigh. “Makes sense I guess. We’re really different.” Of course Cas is something far better than Dean, something bigger, fiercer, stronger. Something that could easily sweep him up and consume him whole like he was nothing.

Cas shuts the laptop and moves closer to Dean who still can’t look up. “Dean… I don’t know the implications of these animals as you might. But from what I gathered in the movies, they are a pure manifestation of one’s happiest memories. It is not the shape of the patronus that matters, but rather the essence. This quiz made a decision based on a few random parts of my personality, but it never asked me what my happiest memory was. Would you like to know?”

Dean can only nod.

“It was my first day at Lawrence Middle School. I was scared and angry and a group of boys were making fun of my bee socks at lunch. And just when I was at the point of tears, a scrawny kid in a Batman shirt jumped in front of me and poured chocolate milk all over Gordon Walker’s head.” Cas chuckled fondly, just thinking of it. “Then he sat across from me and gave me half of his pb&j.”

Dean is beat red and barely breathing. “You didn’t even like it because of the jelly,” he murmurs because it’s all he can think to say.

“And you stopped putting it on your sandwiches after that so you could share with me.”

“Cas…”

Cas reaches across the small space between them to cup Dean’s jaw and gently turn Dean’s face to look at him. “We may be very different, Dean Winchester, but you have had the single most profound effect on my life since I was eleven years old. You are my happiness,” Cas leans forward, Dean’s eyes glazing over and lips parting, “and I don’t need a quiz to tell me that.”

When their lips meet, Dean forgets all about quizzes and balls of light. He feels Cas’s hand slide to the back of his head, tangling in his hair as Dean’s own hands clutch at Cas’s waist to hold him close, keep their lips pressed together in an endless first kiss.

It’s soft and a little awkward, it’s breathtaking and a bit sloppy, and it’s pure magic.

Rainy Night

Second time’s a charm for writing Gajevy, right? Is that how it works? I hope I gave your lil request justice, @fornhaus! Please, enjoy! 

Pairing: Gajevy
Words: 865
Summary: It’s a stormy night, and even though Gajeel is a little hungry, he doesn’t mind protecting his favorite light sleeper. 


The brief pauses between lightning and thunder will always be the worst. Waiting for the abrupt crash of thunder is almost agonizing. These are the exact reason why Levy decided she absolutely hates thunderstorms.

Much to her surprise, she isn’t the only one who dreads storms. Pantherlily—basically her partner in crime during these times—is right by her side when storms approach Magnolia. There is one person, however, who will never understand.

“What’s so bad about a little rain?” Gajeel scoffs at Levy and Pantherlily as they anxiously prepare for the storm currently threatening their town.

“The lightning is blinding,” Pantherlily hastily defends himself, shutting his eyes.

“The thunder gives me a heart attack!” Levy adds frantically, clutching onto headphones.

“It’s not doing anything to you.” Gajeel dismisses them with a lazy wave of his hand.

“Sometimes the electricity can shut off,” Pantherlily retorts.

“P-Please, don’t jinx it,” Levy gulps, peering out the window to find raindrops cascading across the glass. “I-I’m going to be in my room until the storm passes. You guys can hang out here in the meantime.”

“You got any food in the fridge?” Gajeel asks, although he only receives a shutting door in response. He clicks his tongue and shakes his head. “Lily, do you—“ Expecting to find him as he turns around, he sighs when realizing his cat had followed Levy inside her room.

“Whatever,” Gajeel mutters under his breath. “I’ll just watch TV.”

Within ten minutes, the pouring rain sprays across the roof, the lightning illuminates the entire sky, and the thunder reverberates inside the walls. Gajeel doesn’t acknowledge any of this, but he can’t help his eyes from glancing at Levy’s door.

The light hanging above him flickers just slightly; Gajeel reacts faster than his heartbeat. He is already opening Levy’s door by the time the electricity goes out.

“Levy,” Gajeel says while entering the dark room.

“Gajeel,” Levy simultaneously whispers, watching his figure approach her. “I’m scared.”

“I’m here,” he assures gently, sitting on the edge of her bed and finding her curled up under the covers. From the sudden shine of lightning, he notices Pantherlily resting at the end of the bed.

“Thanks,” she smiles gratefully after he removes his hands from her ears to block out the thunder that shortly followed. “I didn’t hear a thing.”

“I guess my work here is done,” he responds. Despite being in the dark, he can still make out his favorite tugged cheeks. He smiles to himself, but it quickly disappears when he feels her hands forcing him closer to her.

“Lie down with me until the storm is over?” Levy nearly requests, scooting closer to the wall to give him space.

Not having the ability to ever say no to her, Gajeel attempts to smoothly lie beside her without rocking the bed too much. He views her back towards him silently. Even though he is above the covers, he can sense her comforting body heat. Impulsively, he reaches towards her to twirl her hair around his fingers.

“Normally I’m the one that plays with your hair,” Levy says before freezing when there’s a distant rumble of thunder.

“There’s a difference between playing and braiding,” Gajeel remarks with comforting fingers in her hair.

“The braids look cute on you,” she giggles, shifting closer to him until her back touches his chest. “Tell me if I’m going too far.”

“You’re not,” he answers a bit too quickly. If anything, he wants to go further than this, but he knows they shouldn’t. “The rain is pretty relaxing, isn’t it?” he asks after a while.

“It’s cold,” she replies.

“But refreshing.”

“It makes the sky so dreary.”

“But it’s still bright.”

“Are you disagreeing with me just to make me mad?”

“Maybe. Is it working?”

“You wish.”

Gajeel smiles at Levy’s quick retorts, curious to know if she’s smiling as well. He reacts on reflex when there’s another gleam of lightning; he places his palms on her exposed ear until the roll of thunder finishes. Before he’s able to remove his hand, Levy delicately grasps onto it.

The two are silent as she begins to tug his hand over her until his arm drapes over her waist. The only sound that accompanies them is the pouring rain that suddenly feels relaxing to Levy. Before she realizes it, her eyes begin to close.

“Wake me up when the storm is over,” she says softly.

“I’m going to get hungry,” Gajeel states.

“I won’t know if you leave or not, anyway. Goodnight,” she replies.

He’s able to sense Levy’s lie, knowing very well that she’s the lightest sleeper he’s ever met. “Night,” he eventually responds.  

It isn’t long until he feels her breathing settle into an even rhythm that only translates into sleep. He absentmindedly runs his fingers across her hair to pass the time, but he begins to find himself dozing off.

And even though he senses his stomach growling with the thunder, he falls asleep and secures his protective arms around his favorite light sleeper paired with his favorite tugged cheeks.

shikikira  asked:

Really loved your last few headcanons, and I'm so glad to see that requests are opened again :) How do you think the RFA would react to a naturally overly busty MC? Or if you only want to write one, how would Jumin react to the pajamas he bought MC being too small for her? Can't wait to see your take on this! Hope everything is going well for you!

Th-these are both good! Time to combine!

Yoosung
- Admittedly, at the party, he didn’t notice right away. He was so focused in finding you, showing that he was okay, showing that he was finally mature. He just wanted to see you after all of that hell.
- And so after your lips met for the first time, your lips tasting vaguely like chapstick, he finally noticed the pressure against his chest
- And could. Not. Look. Away.
- Granted, some of the painkillers he was on for his eye might have drained some common sense away from him, so you didn’t say much, but Zen surely gave him a small thwump on his shoulder to pull him out of it
- He sheepishly apologized, and tried focusing on your face, but he was pretty tired….and they looked really soft…
- Futher into the relationship, he would desperately want to rest his head on them, leave lewd marks all over, but it would take him a while to admit that. In the mean time, he’d love when you two were cuddling and he felt them against him.

Zen
- He was a gentleman!!! A gentleman!! But oh my god
- Were you testing him?
- The whole time you were over, helping him cheer up about his leg, he was sweating bullets. He wanted to be romantic, suave, caring, but god damnit if you bent over one more time and they wibbled like that again–!!!
- It was hard. He avoided skin contact, thankful he was concious enough to only risk glances when you weren’t looking. He just desperately wanted to stuff his face right in—- Nope, nope, time to calm down, Zen!
- When he was finally opening up about himself, and the two of you held hands, and he got to feel how soft and warm your skin was- Well, now there was a very good reason to send you home early.
- In the future he would love groping them, squeezing and teasing- Don’t even get him started on how they bounced when you rode him

Jaehee
- Oh my…
- She was so flustered every time she talked to you. Granted, hers were a decent size themselves, but seeing that on another woman…
- She was trying to mentally cool off during the whole RFA party.
- Wasn’t it a bit weird to be staring at another woman’s breasts??
- If you were wondering why she was drinking a bit too much at the party, well… there’s the answer.
- Once the two of you were in a relationship, she’d love playing with your nipples so much. Tweaking them, pinching, pulling a bit- They were so fun and she felt so filthy for getting so turned on by them!

Jumin
- At first, he didn’t notice. He knew it was rude to stare at a woman’s chest, so in trying to be polite, he made sure he didn’t gaze at your body for too long.
- But when you came out trying to wear one of his button-ups to bed, it was so hard not to stare. In fact, he was sure he was being pretty obvious about it.
- He coughed a bit, clearing his throat, before promptly forcing you to turn around and directing you to where his robes were. He wasn’t used to such urges springing forth so suddenly, and he was hellbent on holding the both of you back.
- (the image did keep him awake much longer that night, though)
- Later on in the relationship, he would love biting/pinching them, kissing trails right over the curve of one and refusing to touch your nipples to make you whine. They were very useful to tease, because it made you beg for him quicker.

Seven
- No shame
- Okay, maybe a little. At first he thought your pictures may have been photoshopped, but when he sees you in person, it’s so, so, hard not to stare.
- In fact, for a good thirty seconds that’s exactly what he does, before realizing with a bright flush what exactly he’s doing.
- Probably added a bit more into a reason of pushing you away from him for the next few days
- But oh my god later on he would be teasing you so much. Making silly jokes, whining to use them as pillows- Everything silly (as long as it didn’t upset you)
- In the bedroom, however, his mouth and hands would hardly stray from them until you were begging for his cock. He loves teasing, possibly even putting clamps on your nipples, and don’t even get him started on when you use them to help give him head. One hit K-O!!