oh my god i was cackling

(some of) the best mcelroy things
  • the shit they talk about their own early episodes because they know how god awful they were
  • the fact all three of them (+ Clint) have matching tattoos 
    • LoZ tattoos for that matter, where each brother has a different part of the tri force filled in, and clint has all 3 filled
  • griffy got that tattoo on his wrist specifically bc he didnt want a job that would be dicks about tattoos
  • the way justin will just go “ok that’s fine” if one of the other two is like ‘i dont wanna talk abt this’ even if its a goof
  • the fact trav and justin inexplicably have the same birthday 3 years apart
    • and then when griffin was like “i know how u feel [about a jumbotron description] every november 8th i just sit in bed and wail”
  • travis watched pirates of the carribean like, 9 times in theatres when it first came out - several of which as dates
  • griffin tried to have a dog in his “pet-free” apartment in college and it only lasted like, four days before they got found out
  • travis’ entire character development in taz results from his fear of losing his wife because he loves her so so much
  • the way that, at every ridiculous stunt and every heartwrenching moment the boys pull in TAZ, griffin goes “oh my GOD”/ “oh god….”/ “oh no..”
    • likewise the cackling that clint/travis/justin do at those same moments 
  • “"A family highpoint for me was the time my dad beat us at Clue in one round,“ recalls Clint’s second son Travis. “It was at that moment that I realized that my father is the most clever man on the planet. Notice that I didn’t say the smartest man. We’re talking about a man who, until he woke up on the basement floor several hours later, didn’t see anything wrong with dumping excess kitty litter and bleach down a sink at the same time in a poorly ventilated room””

AU where the Justice League forms like usual, except Batman maintained his “totally a myth” status and has in fact been active for years before the JL forms. He’s very cautious about trusting them, but still joins, and the others sort of accepts that as long as they trust that Batman has a really hard time with trust, it will all work out in its own weird way

Then, one day, in the middle of a JL mission, the League gets in a tight spot. Out of nowhere, this blue and black blur swoops in and saves everyone’s ass. Maybe breaking some shackles that were proving very difficult, maybe disarm a bomb that the League was just a hair’s breadth too slow to reach without help, but whatever happens, the shadowy figure pauses just long enough to say, “Hey, Batman, you know you there are these things called cellphones now and you can just call sometimes, it doesn’t have to be this dramatic?” and bounds away after shouting ‘let’s do brunch! Bring your new friends!’

Batman is mortified.

No one lets it go.

The entire rest of the mission, the whole League is asking so many questions. Who was that? Do you know him? How do you know him? What’s going on? I didn’t know there was a vigilante in this area?? They don’t let up until he talks.

“That was Nightwing.” Batman is mumbling. The JL forces him to bring them to the Brunch. Brunch happens to be in a run-down apartment on the edge of a bad neighborhood, at five in the morning, in costume. Nightwing introduces himself as Batman’s lovechild with justice.

“I did not realize Batman had a child,” Martian Manhunter says, calmly enough that no one’s sure if he’s accidentally plucking a really loud thought out of the air or if he’s trying to make a joke.

Nightwing stares for a moment falling over laughing. He doesn’t get up. Batman starts trying to apply anti-Joker venom but Nightwing just kicks him and laughs until he cries. He keeps trying to wipe his eyes and his mask keeps getting in the way, so he asks everyone to leave so he can please get a hold of himself

He is still laughing when they leave. Everyone is confused. Batman is furious.  Nightwing manages to breathe long enough to say, “We’re just so glad you’re socializing now, Batman.”

Superman turns to look at Batman very slowly. “…’we’?”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

My dnd oc is a 9 year old girl who was going off to school one day when she accidentally got mistaken for her party's new bard, so now she travels the land with then constantly mistaken for a halfling when she is really just a lost 4th grader too embarrassed to correct her incredibly dense group. Of course her instrument is a hot pink plastic recorder.

OH MY GOD I’m fukcing cackling this is the best one yet

guys I’m so happy these have made my day <333

Dating a Defender - Takashi Shirogane x Reader

Prompt: Lance is flirting with the reader and he says “How would you like to go on a date with a Defender of the Universe?” and she goes “I would love to” and then she turns to Shiro and asks him out (he says yes of course). Bonus: Keith thinks it is the funniest thing in the entire universe and cannot. Stop. laughing

“Hey beautiful are you a star? Because you light up my life.” Lance said coming up and leaning on the console that you were currently working on repairing.

“Hello Lance.” You replied with a sigh not bothering to look up from your work. Lance flirting with you wasn’t exactly uncommon but you didn’t have the patience to deal with it today. You had a million and one things you had to fix around the ship today and the last thing you wanted was to entertain a flirtatious paladin.

“You must be one hell of a thief because you stole my heart from all the way across the room.” Lance continued, undeterred by your unapproachable tone.

“I haven’t stolen a single thing my entire life and I’m not about to start now.” You shot back.

“Let’s cut to the chase then. You, me, a candle lit dinner underneath the stars.” Lance offered with a charming smile.

“Excuse me?” You asked, looking up with an arched eyebrow.

“How would you like to go on a date with a Defender of the Universe.” He asked smoothly. You internally groaned and got to your feet bracing yourself to turn Lance down again when you got an idea that would kill two birds with one stone. You squared your shoulders and swallowed any doubt about what you were about to do.  

“Actually I would like that.” You say standing up and giving him a warm gentle smile before turning around and sauntering towards Shiro who looked absolutely dumbfounded and confused at the turn of events. “Shiro?”

“Yes?” He asked, his voice raising slightly in surprise.

“You’re a Defender of the Universe aren’t you?” You asked with a flirty lilt to your voice. You casually draped your arms around his neck and batted your eyelashes at him. Shiro visibly swallowed before rediscovering his voice.

“I am, yes.” He responding, trying remain politely formal but you could see the glimmer of excitement in his eyes at your line of questioning. All the while Lance stood where you left him utterly shocked at what was happening before his eyes.

“Well would you like to take me out on a date or not?” You asked bluntly.

“Yes ma’am … I mean - yeah. I’d like that.” He stuttered, slowly getting over your sudden authoritativeness.

“Great. You know where you can find me, pilot.” You smiled and winked at Shiro before sauntering out of the room. You intended to go work on another part of the ship to get away from the paladins but Shiro was quick on your heels, striking up a comfortable conversation while you walked.

“Oh my god the look on your face when she - “ Keith cackled hysterically at Lance. “Holy shit I can’t breathe.” He said through his laughter, bending over and clutching his sides.

“Shut up, Keith.”

anonymous asked:

Remus is the reason Hogwarts limits what animals you can bring. Whenever they're about to get caught, James, Sirius and Peter all change to their animagus forms, leaving Remus caught red-handed with a stag, a dog, and a rat. After listening to Remus sigh long-sufferingly for the eighth time, "yes Professor, that is my stag. No Professor, I don't know why he's got his head stuck in the bannister," McGonagall promptly bans anything besides owls, cats, and toads.

OH MY GOD YES

I’m cackling

Dead Girl Walking (Connor Murphy X Reader)

WC: 2066

Warnings: Steamy content (well, the title gives that away)

Summary: Connor and Y/N get cast as JD and Veronica in their college production of Heathers. This doesn’t help the crush Y/N has been harbouring on Connor since freshman year of high school.

Tagged: @lildipstick @bellasabb @ahhhhamilton

A/N: Here it is!! This was partially inspired by some requests I got for this, and partially inspired by my Heathers!AU with @memeing-through-a-window

“Hello everyone! To those of you who do not take drama as a class, I am Mr Reyes. I will be directing this production.” Mr Reyes said, and there was a spattering of applause across the auditorium.

“Now, I’m sure you’re all dying to find out your roles in our upcoming production of Heathers. Here we go.” Mr Reyes said, and everyone inhaled sharply.

I crossed my fingers and looked over at my best friend Zoe, her eyes shut tightly in anticipation.

“In the role of Martha Dunnstock, Alana Beck.” Mr Reyes said and we all clapped politely, looking at Alana who was smiling brightly.

“The role of Kurt Kelly goes to Jake Dillinger, and Ram Sweeney goes to Richard Goranski.” A celebratory whoop came from a few rows back, and I chuckled at the boys’ reaction.

“The roles of Mr Kelly and Mr Sweeney will go to Michael Mell and Jeremy Heere.” I smirked slightly, knowing that Mr Reyes was slightly sneaky with his casting of those roles.

“Mr and Mrs Sawyer will be played by Chloe Valentine and Brooke Lohst.” I clapped softly, glancing over at the pair.

“And now, onto the Heathers themselves. Due to the lack of women interested in this production, we have had to give some of our Heathers to the men.” Mr Reyes said, and I snorted, drawing some attention.

“Heather McNamara will be played by Evan Hansen, and Heather Duke will be played by Jared Kleinman. Heather Chandler, our only female Heather, will be played by Zoe Murphy.” Mr Reyes said, and I squeezed Zoe’s hand.

She was smiling widely, and I knew she was going to crush it as Heather Chandler.

“The lovely Christine Canigula will be playing Ms Fleming.” Christine beamed at Mr Reyes, and I felt very happy for her.

“This leaves our two leading roles. Jason Dean will be played by Connor Murphy, and Veronica Sawyer goes to Y/N Y/L/N! Congratulations to you all.” Mr Reyes said, and I looked over at Connor, my eyes wide.

I’d been crushing on Connor since freshman year of high school, and here we are, freshman year of college, and those feelings haven’t gone away.

“Now, rehearsals will start next Wednesday, so be ready. The original cast recording is somewhere online, so listen to it. That’s all.” Mr Reyes said, ushering us out of the auditorium.

As soon as we were out the double doors, I was bombarded with various congratulations.

“You’re so lucky, oh my god.” Zoe said, wrapping me in a side hug. I felt my cheeks go pink, and I smiled gratefully at her.

“Thanks. I do, however, have to have fake sex with your brother onstage. You know how I feel about him, Zo.” I said and Zoe cackled, throwing her head back.

“Well, let’s just say things might end up working out for you two.” She said, winking at me. My cheeks went a brighter pink, and I went to say something, but was interrupted by someone coughing.

I whirled around to see Connor standing there, his hair partially covering his face.

“Hey Y/N. Can I talk to you for a sec?” Connor asked and I nodded, glancing back briefly at Zoe.

Connor shot me a half smile, and walked away. I trailed behind him, jogging slightly.

“So, what’s up?” I asked, catching my breath a little. Connor rocked back and forth on his heels, and I frowned slightly.

“Well, I was just wondering, seeing as we’re going to be spending a lot of time together onstage and in rehearsals, if maybe you wanted to go grab some lunch with me?” Connor asked, wringing his hands together.

My cheeks went a bright shade of pink, and I nodded eagerly. “Absolutely. I mean, yeah, of course.” I said, realising I was probably coming on too strong.

“Awesome. I’ll, uh, meet you here at 12. Today.” Connor said and I smiled brightly at him.
“Bye Y/N.” He said, and I waved him off.

“Bye Connor.”


“You guys are coming along incredibly. Everyone except Y/N and Connor can go.” Mr Reyes said, and I glanced over at Connor awkwardly.

Everyone else trailed out of the auditorium, until it was just Connor, Mr Reyes and I left.

“Now, I thought you two would appreciate not having everyone else in the room for this next song.” Mr Reyes said and I gulped, looking at Connor with wide eyes.

“I think you two both know which song I’m talking about. We won’t go through the full choreography just yet, but we still need to start rehearsing it.” Mr Reyes said, patting the both of us on the shoulder.

I took in a deep breath and walked up onto the stage, fidgeting with my blazer. I wasn’t in my proper costume, but I was wearing an outfit that resembled my costume.

“From the top, you two.” Mr Reyes said, pressing play on the music. It started playing and I bit my lip.

“The demon queen of high school has decreed it. She says Monday eight am, I’ll be deleted.” I sang, glancing over at Connor briefly.

“They’ll hunt me down in study hall. Stuff and mount me on the wall. Thirty hours to live, how shall I spend them?” I sang, walking forward a little.

“I don’t have to stay and die like cattle. I could change my name and ride up to Seattle. But I don’t own a motorbike.” I looked up at Connor, who was now lying down on the raised platform.

“Wait. Here’s an option that I like. Spend these thirty hours getting freaky! I need it hard, I’m a dead girl walking. I’m in your yard, I’m a dead girl walking.” I sang, walking up the platform stairs.

“Before they punch my clock, I’m snapping off your window lock. Got no time to knock, I’m a dead girl walking.” I sang, standing in front of Connor, who was now on his feet.

“Veronica. What are you doing in my room?” Connor asked, and I shushed him, waving my hand about wildly. Mr Reyes chuckled, and I took in a deep breath.

“Sorry, but I really had to wake you. See, I’ve decided I must ride you till I break you.” Connor’s eyes widened at this line, and Mr Reyes’ laughter increased.

“Heather says I gots to go, you’re my last meal on death row. Shut your mouth, and lose them tightie whities. C'mon!” I sang, undoing my blazer.

“Tonight I’m yours, I’m your dead girl walking. Get on all fours, kiss this dead girl walking.” I said, shoving Connor down by his shoulders.

“Let’s go, you know the drill. I’m hot, and pissed, and on the pill. Bow down to the will of a dead girl walking.” I sang, trying to keep my voice even as Connor’s hands crept up near the hem of my skirt.

I crouched down, looking Connor in the eye. I noticed that one of his eyes was coloured differently, and I felt my heart lurch.

“And you know, you know, you know. It’s cause you’re beautiful. You say you’re numb inside, but I can’t agree.” I sang, putting my hands on Connor’s chest.

His chest was surprisingly firm, and his face was rapidly reddening. “So the world’s unfair. Keep it locked out there. In here it’s beautiful. Let’s make this beautiful.”

“That works for me.” I pressed my lips to Connor’s, and kissed him with fervour. He kissed back eagerly, and I pulled off my blazer, still keeping our lips together.

I pulled off his shirt, and I let out a gasp at the sight of his bare chest. I pulled away from the kiss, and noticed Connor’s eyes cloud with something dark.

I pushed him down so he was on his back, and I was straddling him, my legs wrapped tightly around his waist.

I started kissing his neck and moved my lips further down his chest, kissing furiously.

“Yeah! Full steam ahead, take this dead girl walking.” I sang, reluctantly pulling away from Connor.

“How’d you find my address?” Connor sang, sitting up slightly.

“Let’s break the bed, rock this dead girl walking!” I sang, throwing my arms up in the air.

“I think we tore my mattress.” Connor sang, glancing towards the ground.

“No sleep tonight for you. Better chug that Mountain Dew.” I sang, getting a good look at Connor. His eyes wide, his cheeks flushed and his hair mused.

“Okay, okay.” He sang quietly, earning a chuckle from Mr Reyes.

“Get your ass in gear. Make this whole town disappear.”

“Okay, okay.” Connor sang, his voice stronger this time.

“Slap me.” Connor stage slapped me at this line, and my cheek tingled at the contact.

“Pull my hair.” Connor tugged my head back by my hair, and tangled his fingers in my hair.

“Touch me there, and there, and there.” My breath hitched as Connor’s hands roamed over my ass and breasts.

“No more talking. Love this dead girl walking.” I sang, hitting the high note with ease. Connor sang his part with ease, and I drank in the sight of him beneath me.

“Love this dead girl! Yeah, yeah, yeah!” We both sang together, our bodies harmonising perfectly.

“Ow!” Connor said, grimacing slightly.

“Yeah!” We both sang, and I was surprised at how well Connor could sing. The music concluded, and we were both panting.

Mr Reyes applauded, and I felt the heat rush to my cheeks. “Very well done, you two! You have excellent chemistry, I must say.” Mr Reyes said, as I awkwardly clambered off Connor.

We picked up our clothes and pulled them back on, smiling as we walked off the stage.

“I’ll see you at Friday’s rehearsal. I can’t stress how good that performance was, especially for a rehearsal.” Mr Reyes said as we left the auditorium.

The doors slammed shut behind us, and the air became thick with awkwardness. “I, uh.” I stammered, my cheeks burning.

“I’ll, um, see you on Friday.” Connor muttered, walking away quickly staring at the ground as he did.


“Opening night, people! I just wanted to congratulate you all on your work over the past couple of months, so, congratulations!” Mr Reyes said, applauding us.

I fidgeted anxiously with my costume, the indigo scarf I was wearing seeming to weigh a ton.

“Hey, Y/N, you ok?” Connor asked, and I turned on my heel to face him. The dark costume of JD suited him perfectly, and I felt seriously attracted to him.

“I’m really nervous. What if I screw up? What if I can’t hit one of the high notes? Ugh.” I said, running a hand through my hair.

“Hey, hey, look at me.” Connor said, placing his hands gently on my shoulders. I looked up at him, noticing the stage makeup that accented his already beautiful features.

“You are going to knock this out of the park. Your voice is absolutely stunning, and I have the utmost faith in you and your abilities.” Connor said, moving his hands from my shoulders to my cheeks.

I felt my cheeks flush, and I noticed Connor’s cheeks were a similar colour. “Thanks.” I muttered, looking right into Connor’s eyes.

He rubbed circles on my cheek with his thumb, and I took in a deep breath. I leaned forward and connected my lips with Connor’s.

His eyes widened briefly, but he closed them quickly, kissing back eagerly. I tangled my hands in Connor’s hair, tugging on it gently.

He let out a groan, and he moved his hands to my waist, pulling me closer to him. Suddenly we heard a cough and pulled apart, turning to see where the cough had come from.

We saw Zoe standing there in full costume, a smirk wide on her face. “God, Veronica, drool much?” She said and I snorted, glancing up at Connor.

“It’s not like I’m throwing my panties at him, Heather.” I said, and I noticed Connor freeze momentarily.

“Oh, but you will be soon enough.” Zoe said, winking at the two of us. She walked off with a perfected strut, and I let out a sigh.

“She’s the worst.” Connor muttered and I chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

“She’s not that bad, Con.” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“My god, I love you so much.”

okay but harry telling himself his OWN jokes???????? why is that so fucking harry??? like he’s sitting by himself on a fucking plane and he thinks of a joke, tells it to himself in his fucking head, then cackles like a dork oh my god i adore harry styles

BTS reaction to their S/O sleep talking

requested by anon

Seokjin

Jin would think it’s super funny that you talk in your sleep. He would always to try to start conversations with you.

“…Jiiiiiiinn…”

“Tell me again how handsome your boyfriend is.”

“…Hmm…My boyfriend…?… is a gigantic nerd….”

“Wow, rude.”

Originally posted by yoongichii

Yoongi

Yoongi would be pretty freaked out when you suddenly start laughing in your sleep.

“…Ehehehehehe….”

“Oh my god, I invited a demon into my house.”

Originally posted by jjks

Namjoon

Namjoon would be so done after being woken up at three in the morning by your rambling.

“…Why would I want to dim the lights…?”

*looks into the camera like on the office*

Originally posted by flippitt

Hoseok

Hobi would just lie there, trying to figure out where the cackling is coming from at two in the morning. Once he figures out it’s just you he would be both relieved and confused.

“Oh my god, you scared me.”

“…Hehehe…He will never guess what we are up to…”

“What the fuck..?”

Originally posted by fyeahbangtaned

Jimin

Jimin would love your sleep talking so much. Sometimes he would purposely stay up to listen to your rambling.

“…My boyfriend is the best…”

“Is that so?”

“…NOOO!…”

“What babe?”

“…You can’t…have him…”

Originally posted by unniesgirl

Taehyung

V would be shook by something you said and stay up all night trying to understand it.

“..If I punch myself… and it hurts… does that make me weak… or strong…?”

“Well… so much for a good 8 hours of sleep.”

Originally posted by saikokpop

Jeongguk

Kookie would think that your sleep talking is absolutely hilarious. He would take some videos to have something to show you next time you tease him about his love for Iron Man.

“Stop being mean to the shrimp… THEY HAVE FEELINGS TOO.”

“My day has come.”

Originally posted by sehuns-bubblebum

-Admin Krümmel

Superhero AUs

- ‘I’m a supervillain staying up all night to polish my evil schemes, you’re the barista in the coffee shop across the road from my lair who is definitely starting to suspect something’ AU
- ‘I’m a superhero who works part time in a coffee shop, you’re the ‘civilian’ who’s coffee sprees exactly coincide with my nemesis’ latest evil scheme planning phase’ AU

- ‘Are you asking me on a date or trying to kill me because I honestly can’t tell’ AU
- ‘I can’t decide whether I want to kiss you or kill you, you infuriatingly attractive dickhead of a nemesis’ AU

- ‘I’m the sole member of the local supervillain fan club and I was not expecting to find you actively bleeding out on my couch, the membership was mainly ironic btw’ AU
- ‘You’re the sole member of my fan club and my nemesis is genuinely out to kill me, I have no one else to turn to, please dear god help me I’ll do anything’ AU

- ‘I think my roommate is the local superhero and also my nemesis, but they’re the grumpiest human being alive and their alter ego is really personable’ AU
- ‘I think my roommate is my supervillain nemesis but they’re an absolute ray of sunshine and their other persona is a total megalomaniac complete with evil cackling’ AU

- ‘I know your secret ID and I’m using it to blackmail you into baking me brownies, oh dear does this make me a supervillain’ AU
- ‘Someone in the building knows my hero ID, but they’re only using it to blackmail brownies out of me, please sort out your priorities I’m almost insulted’ AU

- ‘You have superpowers and you’re not even using them?’ AU
- ‘I grew up surrounded by heroes and villains, I just want to live a normal life please stop asking me to levitate things in public, my extended family might find me and frankly it’s just plain insensitive’ AU

- ‘I’m a small town hero with a massive power set, you’re the Hero League’s representative sent to recruit me, but I’m fiercely defensive of my home turf and I sent the last few representatives back to headquarters trembling and a little on fire’ AU
- ‘I’m the representative of the big Hero League, you’re the most powerful super I’ve ever heard of, please join up it’ll put my bosses’ noses right out of joint when you beat all of them in training (yes I’m using spite as a recruitment tool, is it working?)’ AU

- ‘I’m a supervillain and I just saved a small child from getting run over and you saw me do it, fuck off I’m not ‘secretly nice’ it was just a reflex, okay?’ AU
- ‘You’re the scariest supervillain around but I just saw you save a small child, I bet you secretly like puppies and chick flicks too’ AU

- ‘Well aren’t you just a massive cliché of a supervillain; seriously, a giant evil robot programmed to destroy the city if I don’t surrender immediately? That’s the best you can do? And here I was thinking you were my most original villain’ AU
- ‘I created a sentient giant robot that’s going to destroy the city if I don’t ask you out (after I told it about my crush and it became hellbent on getting us together), but I’m trying not to lose all of your respect, please just play along without making me spell it out’ AU

- ‘We were fighting and I touched your boob I’m so sorry please just take me to jail’ AU
- ‘I’ve never manage to catch you before, but now you’re willingly going to prison because you accidentally touched my boob, did you just unwittingly make my boobs my secret weapon?’ AU

How to Prank Baekhyun
  • Chen: Act cool. I heard Lay is coming over to ask you out.
  • Baekhyun: Oh my god oh my god.
  • Yixing: Hey baek, do you w-
  • Baekhyun: *screams* YES, I'd love to!
  • Yixing: -ant to borrow my charger?
  • Baekhyun:
  • Chen: *cackling*
English Is Hard, Okay?! Langst Prompt Fill

For the anon who wanted a story where Lance had a hard time speaking English and the paladins teasing him for it.


Lance walked into the kitchen one morning with dark circles under his eyes. He trudged over to get a bowl and began filling it with food goo.

“You look like shit, Lance” Keith teased, trying to egg Lance into one of their normal fights. The other paladins ignored the banter, used to the Red and Blue paladins fighting.

“Yeah, I know. I don’t feel like fighting today, Keith, sorry,” Lance said, trying to get his food goo and leave as quickly as possible.

Keith frowned. Lance wasn’t playing along.
Usually this kind of stuff cheered the Blue paladin right up!

“Wake up on the wrong side of the bed? I was just teasing, you just look a little tired,” Keith said, trying, again, to lighten the mood.

“No, you know what Keith? I didn’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed I woke up in the wrong fucking bed after a dream where I had to watch my family die!

And I can’t even know if they’re actually alive because I’m not even in the same fucking galaxy as them and I didn’t want to fight and I thought I made that clear when I literally told you I didn’t want to but obviously I was wrong.

Hopefully I made it clear this time so I can go eat in my room and nobody will bother me,” Lance said calmly. The lack of emotion in his voice was unnerving. He took his bowl, grabbed a spoon, and left the room.

The other paladins glanced at each other with wide eyes as they watched the usually energetic and fun paladin walk off to his room.

Keith ate the rest of his meal with his head down, and nobody dared to break the tense silence.

After breakfast everyone broke off to work on their own projects or do whatever they needed until group training.

A few hours later, everyone was waiting in the training room for Lance. He walked in about ten minutes late, dressed in workout clothes the castle provided. He stared silently at the ground as Allura began to lecture him on his tardiness.

Training began with a few warm up laps around the room.

Lance visibly pulled himself together and worked a smile onto his face.

He nudged Pidge as he passed her, and high fives Shiro as he passed him.

Lance always enjoyed this portion of training since he was undeniably the fastest paladin (without their lions anyway).

When they slowed to a stop after five laps, Allura directed everyone to different parts of the room to work on things each were bad at.

Lance was shown the middle of the room, to fight close range with the gladiator. Hunk gave Lance a sympathetic glance.

Lance fought the gladiator for almost two hours. The other paladins had been allowed a break when they managed to finish whatever task they were given, but Lance had been at a stalemate with the damn gladiator.

The blue paladin began to slow down due to exhaustion, and the gladiator got in one well placed hit before it shut down.

Lance plopped himself down on a bench with the rest of the paladins as Allura and Coran talked.

Shiro leaned forward to look at Lance, whose eyes were closed as he leaned against the wall.

“Hey, you did good, buddy,” Shiro said, knowing that Lance had worked harder than any of them had that day.

Lance opened his eyes at the praise. He was sure he was going to get scolded for losing, and a smile worked it’s way onto his face.

“Thanks, Shiro. You did really well too. Hunk, you were really awesome with that thing you were running on.”

Pidge barked out a short burst of laughter.

“What was Hunk running on, again, Lance?” Pidge asked, barely concealed laughter coloring her voice.

“Um the thing where the ground moves so you can run in place?” Lance explained, frowning.

“Oh my god, Lance doesn’t know what a treadmill is!” Pidge shouted, cackling.

Her laughter prompted everyone but Lance to laugh along with her. Everyone had needed a laugh after a tense morning and a hard workout.

The laughter died down and Hunk looked over to see that Lance had tears in his eyes and his muscles were tensed.

“Hey, Lance, buddy, you alright?” Hunk asked, drawing the team’s attention.

Lance shook his head.

“I know it’s stupid and you guys think I’m stupid but it’s really fucking hard sometimes. I never learned the damn word.

Just like I don’t know what half the stuff Hunk and Pidge are talking about because I learned science and engineering and math in Cuba. In SPANISH.

I have to translate everything I’m thinking into a different fucking language because I grew up with no English at all!

And when I got to the Garrison I had to deal with people’s bullshit on my accent and how I couldn’t speak English correctly and I thought you guys didn’t care about stuff like that but maybe I just hadn’t messed up yet!

I’m sorry I suck at English and I forgot what a fucking treadmill is, but I promise you, I didn’t forget because I’m stupid. I remembered what to say in Spanish.

I’m sorry if my explanation wasn’t good enough, but I’m pretty sure you guys wouldn’t have understood it if I told you Hunk was running on a cinta de correr!!!” Lance yelled, taking a few deep breaths as he finished ranting.

Lance stood there, fuming for a few moments, tears openly streaming down his face. Everyone stared in shock, unsure what to make of Lance’s outburst.

The blue paladin waited for someone to say something, and when no-one did he bolted from the room, eyes wide and terrified.

Hunk ran after him after a moment. He knew exactly where his best friend would be.


Thanks for this prompt! Hope you like it! I’m thinking of posting a part two?

8

10/10 100% 5 Stars A+ characters: Roxanne “Roxy” Morton from Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014)

Oh my god Negging, that’s hilarious. I haven’t heard anyone try that since the Noughties.

I think this is reading a book together? Yes? Ok. let’s do this. 

Keith’s old shack smells of wood varnish and old paper. Specks of dust shine and dance in the beams of afternoon sun, and Keith sits in the centre of his small living room surrounded by boxes. He flicks through a book and smiles fondly at the familiar faces that look up at him. 

“Hey babe! Can we donate all these crop jackets?!” Lance’s voice calls from the bedroom. 

“No!” Keith yells back.

“But they don’t even fit you anymore! And I don’t want these fashion disasters in our apartment!”

Our apartment. Keith’s heart thrums at those words. His grin blooms across his face. 

“I think I can make them fit!” He laughs. 

Soft foot falls announce Lance’s entrance into the living room. he lets out a suffering sigh. 

“Babe. Babe. Look. Babe look at this.”

Keith looks up. On the other side of the room Lance stands wearing one of his crop jackets. It reaches just barely under his pecks. The sleeves reach just under his elbow, and the seams at the shoulder look like they’ll burt. 

“There’s no way you can wear these anymore.” He deadpans. 

“I’m smaller than you. Not my fault you got insanely ripped.”

“Keith! You’re not 16 anymore!” Lance implores. “And your biceps are way bigger than mine.” To prove it to him, Lance runs up behind Keith and grabs his shoulders. He gently sways them from side to side and runs his hands admiringly up and down his boyfriend’s arms. 

“Bench press me, baby. I know you can.”

“Laaaaance,” Keith laughs. Lance chuckles and leans forward. His arms wrap around Keith’s neck and he rests his chin on top of his head. His long legs slot next to Keith’s easily. 

“Is it weird being back here?” Lance asks quietly. Keith leans into Lance’s chest. 

“Yeah….” He sighs. “But it’s nice… being here with you. Getting that sense of closure, you know?”

“Yeah. It’s nice to…” Lance looks down and spies the book in Keith’s lap. He freezes. 

“Nooooo way.” He whispers. He moves to look over Keith’s shoulder, and his arms tuck under Keith’s. He reaches forward and takes the book from Keith’s hands, flicking it closed and staring at the cover.

Garrison 2063 Yearbook 

“Holy shit…” Lance whispers. Keith chuckles and it rumbles against him. 

“I know, right? I found it while packing.”

“We have to keep this.”

“Absolutely.” Keith smiles. “Here wanna see something crazy?” He excitedly flicks to a page. A small photo of Pidge looks up at them. Hair cut short. Glasses comically big on her small face. 

“OOOOHHHHHH my god.” Lance squeals gleefully. “WHAT A TINY BABY.”

Keith giggles. “Remember how you thought she was a boy?”

“Look at this photo! You can’t blame me! Look at this tiny androgynous child.” They both laugh. Lance’s muscular forearms wrap and squeeze around his boyfriend’s stomach. 

“There’s also this.” Keith holds up a new page. Hunk’s 17 year old face beams up at them. There’s the mature eyes that Keith and Lance are used to, but there are traces of baby fat around his jaw. His trademark orange headband is also much brighter than either of them remember it being. Years of sweat, sun and being blown into space have since turned his headband almost a pastel colour. 

“Was Hunk ever small?”

“As someone who’s known him since we were 10…” Lance pauses. “No.” He laughs. “Dude could pick up most of our teachers from the time he was 12. I know this because I dared him to.”

Keith shakes his head. 

“I don’t doubt it.”

They continue to flip through pages. Some faces they barely recognise, others have been completely lost to time. They reach the staff pages and Keith and Lance proceed to flip off Iverson and the other instructors that expelled Keith. 

There’s a sharp intake of breath.

In the staff section, smiling up with a handsome face and beautiful dark hair is Shiro. Both of his arms are clearly visible, and there’s no scar marking his face. His eyes gleam with youthful optimism. Guilt churns in Keith’s stomach.

“God…” He deflates. “He looks so young.”

Lance squeezes him tightly. 

“He certainly… has changed.” He presses a kiss to Keith’s temple and brushes his fingers along a scar that courses through his eyebrow. Keith looks down to see Lance’s prosthetic foot nudging his thigh. 

“But so have we.” Lance smiles. “We’re all ok. Shirt’s ok now. And while things were hard…” He presses another quick kiss to Keith’s cheek. “I wouldn’t change anything.”

Keith turns his head towards his boyfriend. His mouth quirks into a grin and he presses a smiling kiss to Lance’s lips. 

“Me neither.” 

“Also…” Lance smirks. His hands hurriedly flick through the pages until he barks out a laugh.

“Can you PLEASE admit that you had a fucking mullet?” He cackles. Keith looks down at the photo and groans loudly.

“Oh my god, look at this child.” He sighs. “Why is he so moody?!” He yells at his 16 year old self. 

“You stupid boy, you don’t even know you’re an alien yet! No one’s shooting at you! Your life is great!” Keith yells. Lance howls with laughter behind him. 

“I think he’s mad…” Lance wheezes, “Because he’s super fucking gay for this handsome boy here…” Lance points at the photo of his teenager self, “But this boy thinks he’s an asshole.” 

Keith coos at the photo of Lance. He brings the book closer to his face and smiles dopily. 

“God you were cute.”

“Were?” Lance blusters. 

Keith hums. He rotates and leans into Lance’s chest. A low chuckle escapes him. 

“You’ve become the hottest and most handsome person in the universe.” He runs his hands across Lance’s broad chest. 

“And I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

The yearbook lies forgotten on the floor as Lance leans down to languidly kiss Keith until the afternoon sun slips into the horizon. 

Word for Word (M)

Originally posted by jeonbase

“Less talking. More fucking. Yeah?”

Part 1 | Part 2

3.4k, smut, jungkook/reader, friends with benefits au (+ college + fuckboy)


Jeon Jungkook is a fuckboy through and through. If you look at all his social media photos, all you see are countless images of him sandwiched between two girls, his muscular arms wrapped around their shoulders. Two different girls in each picture, never the same. Most of the photos are dark, dimly lit party scenes with the flash in their eyes, but sometimes there are filter-saturated beach pictures in which Jungkook’s shirtless and hugging girls in bikinis.

(Quite frankly, at times you weren’t really sure who to be jealous of: Jungkook or the girls. Both looked really fucking good. But it’s not like you were really Instagram stalking him and actually cared about his pictures or anything. Totally not.)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Can you do some prompts about girls falling in love with other girls?

1) “You are so out of my league,” she said. A slightly dazzled smile crossed her lips. “Like, oh my god. I want to marry you one day.”
“And you are so off your head,” replied the other woman. Amused and a little concerned given the circumstances. “Wife.”
“Oh my god, I married you!?”
“It was a beautiful ceremony. On the beach. We had ice cream.”
“I love ice cream.” 
“Mm, if you can stay with me this time, I’ll get you some. How are you feeling?”


2) They were laughing about something stupid, curled up on the sofa. Stomach clenching, can’t breathe, no holding it back cackling when she caught the look on her best friend’s face. 
“What?”
“I - nothing. It’s stupid.”
“Well, now you have to tell me.”
“You just make me really happy, you know?” 
And suddenly she couldn’t breathe again for an entirely different reason. 


3) “If we were both gay we’d totally be going out.”
“…we are both gay. We are very very very gay.” There was a beat of silence. “Is this you asking me out?”
“Depends, is this you saying yes or no?” 
“Depends, do I get to kiss you if we’re going out?”
“I hear that’s the done thing, yeah. Probably cuddling too, if you can bear it.”
“Yeah, alright. Sure. You won me over.”


4) It started with dancing. She loved the dancing first - confident, sensual, a flash of eyes across the floor as the lights swayed above them. The arm that wrapped around her back and drew her in close, the lips that found hers like they’d done this a thousand times before. A conversation of touches and smiles, slow and unhurried. A name whispered against their ear like a promise.


5) “…you know,” said the woman. She glanced up from by the bed, sleeves rolled up to reveal arms tanned and lean from hard work in the sun. “When you said your bed was broken, I thought you meant it as a come on. What the hell did you do to it?” 
The other woman turned bright red. Clearing their throat, initially too flustered to reply. Which, well, might have been something of a reply. 


6) “You didn’t have to defend me, you know.” She was rather shocked that the other girl had, considering she couldn’t normally even raise her voice in a large group of people.
“Of course I did,” the girl replied. “It was the right thing to do.” 
She fell in love a little, then.


7) Leather jacket, red lipstick, leaned up against a motorcycle and suddenly she felt lightheaded. She swallowed hard as her date raised a brow, plucking the helmet off the seat and sauntering over to her. Her date placed it carefully on her head, fingers brushing warm against her throat as she clipped it into place. “Probably not quite the white pony you were dreaming of, princess, but it will do the trick.”