oh my god i want one so bad

LMAO I ENDED UP PASSING MY THERMODYNAMICS MIDTERM INSTEAD OF FAILING IT LIKE I THOUGHT I DID!!!

I THOUGHT I ONLY GOT ONE QUESTION RIGHT OUT OF THE EIGHT. I DIDN’T!!! I GOT A FUCKING 16 POINTS. THAT’S A B!!!

THE CLASS AVERAGE WAS AN 18 AHAHAHAHAHHA I’M SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!

oh my god I even bullshitted like one of the questions and thought I got THAT wrong lol nope i got points for it still. Even when I bullshit, I somehow manage to get it right ahahhahaa I’m so happy!!!

Imagine your OTP- Things I've said to my SO
  • "Why the fuck are there three different rolls of paper towels??"
  • "Do we need lessons on how ziplock bags work?"
  • "Taking off my clothes takes effort. I'm sleeping on the futon."
  • "At what point if any did it cross your mind that this might be a bad idea?"
  • "TECHNOLOGY HATES ME OH MY GOD I KILLED THE MICROWAVE."
  • "Wake me up if you want something!! Seriously! Sleepy sex is awesome!"
  • "Please kill it. Preferably with fire."
  • "See, this is why we're together. No one else could handle our terrible puns."
  • "YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO STAB YOURSELF OPENING YOUR ANNIVERSARY GIFT GO TO THE HOSPITAL."
  • "I love you. but I swear to you if you keep leaving lunch containers in the sink without putting soapy water in them I will kill you slowly."
  • "Dude, we're old... your brother just left with a 24-pack of bud ready to party, and we're sitting in front of the TV with Netflix and fancy cheese."
  • "These potatoes in the fridge are starting to flower... can I toss them?"
  • "Sleep is for those that haven't been struck with inspiration."
  • "I'll sleep when I'm dead."
  • "Sweetie, I appreciate the thought, but I meant A 50c PACKAGE of reeses, I didn't need the whole candy aisle."
  • "Goddamn it why are you so sweet."
  • "I just got out from babysitting and I am having my tubes tied immediately."
  • "I AM NOT CUTE GODDAMN IT I AM INTIMIDATING."
  • "Let me rephrase, I'm getting mongolian. if you'd like, you can come along, but if not, that's cool too. but I want mongolian."
  • "You bought WHAT for HOW MUCH?"
  • "I love your mother, but I almost reached across the table and wrapped my hands around her throat."
  • "Why do we even NEED more bass?"
  • "SCIENCE MOTHERFUCKER"
  • "You may want to hide the alcohol because I may die from how much and how badly I want to drink right now."
  • "Aaaack that freaks me out when you do that!!"
  • "Everything hurts and I'm dying, but I'm not pregnant this month so that's nice."
  • "STOP TICKLING ME YOU ASSHOLE I WILL NIPPLE PINCH YOU"
All Of The Joker's Lines In Suicide Squad

“Doctor, Quinzel. I live for these moments with you.”
“What do you got?”
“So thoughtful.”
“There’s something you can do for me, Doctor”
“I need a machine gun”
“What do we have here?”
“Oh I’m not gonna kill ya. I’m just gonna hurt ya really really bad.”
“Question, would you die for me?”
“That’s too easy. Would you live for me?”
“Careful. Do not say this oath thoughtlessly.”
“Desire become surrender, surrender become power.”
“You want this?”
“Say it, say it!”
“Pretty, Pretty, Pretty, Pretty”
“Oh god, you’re so good”
“Are you sweet talkin’ me?”
“I like this guy”
“He’s so intense”
“Well that she is, the fire in my loins, itch in my crotch, the one and only the infamous Harley Quinn”
“Oh, Come to daddy”
“Listen, You are my gift to this handsome hunka hunka.”
“You belong to him now”
“You don’t want no beef? don’t want no beef? Don’t want no beef?”
“Look, are you enjoying yourself?”
“That’s right”
“Oh, we have got company.”
“Where is she?”
“Bring the car around"
“We’re going for a drive”
“Blah blah blah blah”
“All of that chit-chat’s gonna get cha hurt”
“I can tell you meant that”
“You’re gonna be my friend”
“This look neat.”
“Professor, would you pick up the pace.”
“Hello, baby”
“Come on baby.”
“Oh, you know I’ll do anything for you.”
“By the way, I’ve got some grapes soda on ice and a bear skin rug waiting.“
“This bird is baked.”
“Ok honey, it’s me and you”
“Let’s go home”

THIS EPISODE GAVE ME THE GIGGLES iiiiit’s POST-SPN SCOUTTHOUGHTS

  • “dad loved this thing” LMAO THE NEGAN REFERENCE I’M CRYIN THE BAT 
  • i’m sorry that is the best–their AU dad is a megalomaniac in a zombie apocalypse 
  • THE GISHWHES REFERENCE 
  •  finally sam has a dog. wait nevermind 
  • [lucifer voice] mm. kinky. 
  • oh my god i love these awkward business demons 
  • SATAN GETS HIS OWN DOG BUT SAM DOESN’T!? 
  • the thing keeping luci from talking omg this is hilarious 
  • JOSHUAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ….i like this new angel ;n; (EDIT: the angel i like is the new one talking to cas! i can’t recall his name lol)
  • RIP AWK BUSINESS DEMONS 
  • the glasses! :D 
  • OHHH DEAN IS GONNA BE PIIIIISSED 
  • the green cooler has made ITS ACTION DEBUT 
  • OHHHOOOH SHIT CROWLEY OHHH THIS IS SUPER COOL “this vessel is your cage” I HAVE WANTED THIS SO BAD 
  • NO! cas! you have! a HOME! ON EARTH

i hope this means WE’RE GOING TO GET SOME OF OUR OLD ANGELS BACK

soulmate first words au prompt

ok but like keith having ‘you kids get off my lawn’ written on his wrist and panicking for most of his life because he thought his soulmate was gonna be a grisly old man

keith hearing the tail end of lance telling a story with keith’s words being the first thing he hears and him just yelling ‘oh my god thank fuck you’re not an old man’

lance being the only kid in his town with cussing in his soulmark and getting teased mercilessly by his older siblings about it

lance hearing those words being shouted by this jerk right in front of him and just freaking the fuck out

BTS Reaction to their s/o flinching during an argument

Remember, as of now requests are open. Please check my Request Guide to know what I write and for who I write! :)


Seokjin- This poor guy, he would be so hurt that he made you flinch, he would want to beat himself up so bad, you trying to make it not a big deal would hurt him even more. He would instantly apologise to you ‘‘Oh my god, Jagi, I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m so sorry,’‘ saying he was really sorry for scaring you, that he didn’t want to scare you, how mad at himself he was.

Originally posted by jinatetae

Yoongi- I feel like Yoongi would also, obviously, be really mad at himself for scaring you. He would even hate himself at that moment, at least, thinking about what kind of a boyfriend he is, scaring his loved one. He would apologise to you ‘‘Y-Y/N…..I’m sorry……I didn’t mean to…..,’‘ he wouldn’t be able to look at your face, even with you trying to make it not a big deal, because he would be so ashamed of himself. So I feel like he would apologise and maybe even leave, since he would need some time.

Originally posted by yooingi

Hoseok- He would completely drop what you were arguing about, forgetting the point of the whole argument. As soon as he saw you flinch and try to play it off as if you didn’t flinch, he would instantly curse at himself. He would get really serious, apologising for scaring you, saying you did nothing wrong ‘‘You did nothing wrong, I have all the right to be guilty for scaring you,’‘ that he should be guilty for making you flinch.

Originally posted by hob-e

Namjoon- Boooyyyyyy, would he be mad af at himself. I feel like he would hate himself at that moment as well. With you trying to play it off as nothing, he would be even more mad at himself, the guilt would be eating him alive. He would definitely, like all of them, apologise for scaring you, he would also probably say that he is really not pleased with himself. ‘‘Ugh, I’m such a freaking idiot, I’m so sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean to scare you.’‘

Originally posted by kimdaddynamjoon

Jimin- The guilt he would feel though. God, you can’t even imagine how mad and disappointed he would be in himself. You trying to laugh it off would probably make him feel even worse, I feel like he would definitely say how extremely disappointed he is in himself, while obviously he would apologise. Expect him to hug you for a long time.

(You’re Yoongi, also imagine that both of you obviously are not smiling)

Originally posted by jeonsexuals

Taehyung- As soon as you flinch, he would shut up. He wouldn’t say anything, since he would be so mad at himself, he wouldn’t be able to comprehend the fact that he scared you, one of the most precious human beings to him. The atmosphere would turn so depressing and quiet, he later, after he would be done beating himself up, would apologise to you.

Originally posted by saintminyoongi

Jungkook- I feel like Kookie would have a reaction similar to Taes and Yoongis. When you flinch he would instantly shut up, forget that there even was an argument. You trying to not make him feel guilty, would, honestly, fail miserably. He would be literally, killing himself in his head, he would be so mad at himself for scaring you. At the same time he wouldn’t really know what to do in a situation like this, so he wouldn’t say anything, only later would he be apologising to you 25/8.

Originally posted by koiyomi

~Admin Soul~

Dèesse (Lafayette x Reader)

Word Count: 1213

Genre: Angst

Request/Summary: “Laf x reader fic pls? Angst that may or may not result in smut. 1, 17, 18, 19, 20, 52 & 59. Angsty as possible. I want the reader to be best friends with Laf and then starts to drift. He gets worried, and starts question her. Her confession then slips out.” - @depressedtrashcan16

Sorry, I don’t think I got all the prompts in. I tried to go ‘angsty as possible’ but I don’t know if I did very well.

Pairing: Marquis de Lafayette x Reader

AU: Modern

Warnings: kinda sucky writing, implied smut, fighting/arguing/yelling, bad french translations (from google)

A/N- When I wrote this (At roughly three in the morning) I was like ‘oh my god I’m so proud of this one. Ahhh I love it!’ the next morning I reread it and I cringed much. I feel like I’m losing my mojo! I’m sorry guys, I’ll see what I can do to get it to pick up again. 

Please tell me what you think, I know there’s something in my writing that’s deteriorating but I can’t figure out for the life of me what it is. If you guys catch it, I really really would like to know, thanks.


Day 1

“You love him.” Eliza stated.

“Love’s a strong word.” You responded, shaking your head.

“Not for what you have.” Angelica countered.

“Hey guys what’s up?” Lafayette asked, sitting down at the table with you.

“Hey Laf.” Peggy sang teasingly.

“You know, I gotta go…” You stated standing up and pulling your purse onto your shoulder.

“But I just got here.” Lafayette pointed out, his brow furrowing.

“I have… work.” And you were out the door before any of them could say anything more. Once you were safely out the doors of the cafe you whipped out your phone. Why’d you invite him??? You sent the text to Angelica before hailing a taxi.

Day 2

Coffee later? You thought about ignoring the text from Laf and later telling him you’d had your phone off, or you’d left it somewhere but instead you picked it up and replied Sorry I’m busy all day. You set down your phone again and bit your nails as you waited for him to reply. Can we do another time, I really need to talk to you. You sighed. I’m really slammed, I’m sorry Laf, I’ll let you know when I get some free time.

Day 3

“I don’t know. We’ve been best friends ever since I came to New York.” Lafayette said, downing another gulp of his drink. “But for the past few days she’s just been… distant.”

“I don’t know what to tell you.” Alex stated. “Just give it time, maybe she’ll come back when she’s got less stuff to do.”

“Maybe.” Lafayette shrugged, deciding to wait it out and see if anything got better.

Day 6

“She hasn’t texted me since this.” Lafayette stated, showing Hercules his phone.

“That was only four days ago and she said she’s busy.” Hercules shrugged.

“We usually text everyday. It’s been almost a week!” Laf complained.

“Give it time.” Herc advised.

“I have.” Laf groaned.

“Give it more.”

Day 9

We haven’t talked in awhile. Any time? You glanced at the text from Lafayette but just elected to ignore it this time. You were tired. Tired of hurting when you saw him flirting. Tired of that pang of pain when he called you his friend instead of his girlfriend. Tired of waiting for him to make a move. Tired of convincing yourself that even the tiniest part of him liked you back. You were just tired. Your phone ‘bloop’ed again, signaling a new text. Hello?? It was from Lafayette again. You ignored it again and returned to your thoughts. Your phone interrupted again, you sighed, but quickly perked up when you say that it was from Eliza rather than Laf. You doing okay? Lafayette said you weren’t responding to his texts. It read. You quickly responded, I’m in love. This is a pain I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemies.

Day 10

A knock on your door dragged you out of your thoughts. You got up and pulled open the door.

“Oh.” Was all you could say when you found Lafayette standing in front of you. You began to shut the door on him, not knowing what else to do, but he stopped it with his foot.

“I’m not home.” You said stupidly from behind the door.

“Seriously (Y/N), I just saw you.” He drawled. You hesitantly let him in.

“I’m busy again. Can you come later?” You tried.

“Real busy with Doctor Who.” He nodded, gesturing to the TV.

“Why haven’t we talked?” He suddenly lashed out, you flinched at his tone. “Why are you avoiding me, (Y/N)?”

“I said, I’m b-”

“You’re busy?” He cut you off. “Too busy to answer my texts, but you still managed to respond to Eliza? Why won’t you just tell me the truth?”

“You don’t know about everything that’s happened Laf.” You told him, your tone adopting it’s own aggressive edge.

“Then tell me.” He growled back, his voice raising.

“You don’t even- urgghhh.” You cut yourself off with a groan of frustration.

“What don’t I know (Y/N)?” He barked.

“You don’t know how much it hurts to watch you flirt with other girls! You don’t know painful it is waiting for you to make a move! You don’t know the agony I’m in when I remind myself the reason you’re not making a move, because you’re not interested! You don’t know how it feels to hear you call me ‘mon amie’ instead of ‘ma cherie’!” You shouted into his face, hot tears rolling down your cheeks. “You don’t know how much it hurts just to see you, Laf! You don’t know!”

“I’m not- I don’t-” He stuttered.

“I love you Lafayette!” You yelled. It felt like the whole world was silenced at the words.

“What?” He whispered.

“Did I stutter?” You choked back a sob. How could he not notice? You were so obvious about it, how could it take him this long? “I’ve been in love with you.” You continued. “For so long. So forgive me if I find it difficult to watch you hit on Peggy, or the barista, the waitress goddamnit. You took advantage of any sense I had and stole my love without my consent. And to be honest Lafayette, I’m really starting to hate you for it.” He stepped toward you, you flinched away.

“Relax, I’m not going to hurt you.” His brow furrowed, his voice surprisingly soft.

“You already have.” You turned away from him. You felt his hands come to rest on your hips, beginning to slide forward for his arms to wrap around your waist. You closed your eyes, you could melt into those arms any day. You snapped out of the dream life in your head and pushed his hands away. You pinched the bridge of your nose, you’d possibly just ruined one of the best friendships you’d ever had.

“I think-” Lafayette started.

“Shit. Laf, I didn’t even think. I’m sorry can we just forget I said anything.” You cringed at your own words.

“(Y/N)-”

“Oh god, I feel like such an idiot.” You turned to face him.

“Can you-”

“We were friends and I completely ruined i-” Lafayette finally managed to get you to stop talking, but he had to use a different tactic. His lips moved against yours in a heated and sloppy kiss. I have to be dreaming You thought, pressing your body against his. His hands latched around the backs of your thighs, lifting you so you could bring your legs around his waist. He began to kiss your neck, you sighed and reached to your left for the door handle. You exhaled contentedly as he nipped at your neck, carrying you through the door you had just opened. I better not be dreaming. He set you down on the bed and hovered over you.

“Je crois que…” Laf whispered between more open mouthed kisses to your neck. “Je t’aime aussi.”

“What?” You breathed stupidly, dragging his shirt off of him. His large, calloused hands slid up your sides, dragging your tank top with them.

“I said,” He began after discarding your tank top. “I think I love you too.” You sighed, his words inciting a flutter of anticipation in the pit of your stomach.

“Dieu (Y/N). Tu es une déesse.”

Being intimidating

I made a post last night about someone calling me conceited for being confident, and it got me thinking.

In my English class, I’ve been deemed “intimidating”; one girl reportedly said i scared her. If you look at me, I’m 4'11, I look about 14, I am a nice person, and nothing about my appearance or demeanor is remotely threatening.

Then i found out that I’m intimidating because “you’re so freaking smart.” My friend said that on day one of English class, the second I opened my mouth she was like “oh my god, this person is so smart.” One guy told me that he found my smarts intimidating, not in a bad way, but that I passionately approach academics the way he wishes he could. He pointed out that some guys don’t want to date a girl who’s smarter than them.

Here’s my point. Why is it “intimidating” for a girl to be smart? Why is it scary? I don’t particularly mind being intimidating - embrace your inner Hermione, y'all - but if a guy were smart and talkative and insightful and outgoing…would people perceive that as intimidating or scary? Am I intimidating because women just aren’t supposed to be overly smart and by putting themselves out there, it’s deviating too much from the norm and wham, suddenly they’re scary?

School for me is, in a way, about proving myself to myself. I love it with a crazy passion. I’ve fought for my education financially and emotionally. And when it comes to gender roles, I like to assert myself. During our English debate I did most of the work in our 11 person team. I wrote and presented our opening, our psychological argument, and our closing. The other team won, but we got those three points.

I wasn’t happy because I want to be smarter than everyone else. It just felt like a battle I’d triumphed over; I knew we would lose, but I brought home the silver medal, so to speak. The debate was intense and the other team’s male leader was far more intimidating than me, but I realize now that the debate was when people really saw me as “scary”. So just because I speak articulately, stand up for my beliefs, and display intelligence, I’m intimidating?

I’m not some crazy misandrist feminist by any means. It’s just interesting to me. I took the comment as a compliment and i think it was mostly intended as such. But really, I’ve never heard of a guy being intimidating because he’s smart - and there are a lot of smart and actually physically intimidating guys out there.

I consider myself an academic BAMF; that’s who I want to be, and comments like that make that part of me swell with joy. It just struck me when I gave it some thought, that i wasn’t so sure this was an entirely level playing field, or that the definition of “intimidatingly smart” was totally objective. What do you all think?

smolchinerd  asked:

Oh my gosh, so basically Jamilton, but Alex has bad asthma and Jefferson is just a worried boyfriend Or Alex gets into yet an other fight and Jefferson just wants his darling Alex to be safe Or of course the cliche sick fic where Alex works himself to the point of exhaustion and it ends up being really cute

Alexander had woken up in a multitude of odd positions before, including one morning where he was hanging out of a tree wearing nothing but a Hello Kitty suit- but that’s a story for another time. As the soft sunlight of early morning shone into his eyes, he opened them painstakingly to find himself in a large pile of blankets. This was quite peculiar, as his last memories of the night before had been of him hunched over his laptop in the living room.

Turning slightly, his movements constricted by the weight of the sheets, he saw that he was not, in fact, in the living room, but on his and Thomas’s bed. Except Thomas wasn’t in the bed with him. Pushing off the first layer of blankets, he sat up, rubbing his eyes as to clear his vision.

The bedroom was empty as well, and his laptop had been plugged in overnight. Of course- Thomas must have carried him to bed when he passed out. 

“Good morning, darlin’.” Thomas spoke, opening the bedroom door and walking up to Alexander. “How’re you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” Alexander stated, trying to push off the rest of the blankets. “What time is it?”

“Nearly eight.” Thomas told him, handing Alexander his glasses that had been discarded on the nightstand.

“Eight?! I need to leave for work, like now!” Alexander tried to sit up, to get ready and hopefully not be as late as he thought he would, but was cut off by Thomas’s arms around him, pushing him back in bed.

“No, you don’t. You’re burning up and I am not letting you go to work when you’re this sick. You need to sleep.”

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

“Well, I’m trying to avoid that last part for as long as possible. I already called you in sick, as is my duty as your boyfriend.”

“No one at the office even knows that we’re dating. How could you have called me in sick?”

“I emailed from your laptop, which you left open when you passed out on top of it.”

“Touche.”

“I’m leaving for work now- please promise me that you won’t try to do anything crazy while I’m gone.”

“Promise.”

“Good. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

2

EB: don’t encourage him.

TG: been married for years

EB: oh my god.

TG: got one kid

TG: a lil salamander daughter

EB: leave casey out of this.

TG: shes a real nice kid

TG: does the blep thing a lot though

EB: she does actually! it’s really cute!

TG: pretty damn cute yeah

anonymous asked:

what's 'mianite'? i get so confused whenever it's brought up ;;

oh god

ok so

essentially it’s this semi long minecraft series that was started a couple years ago. it followed four main people being captainsparklez, syndicate, jericho, and omgitsfirefoxx (jordan, tom, tucker, and sonja) it started out with tom wanting a server to fuck around on and tucker was like lmao ok. eventually jordan and sonja started playing too, along with some other people, like waglington, or james.

at first it was just good ol fun but then there a mianite (a god) and dianite (another god; they’re related) dianite was bad and mianite was good and that was it for awhile until jordan started playing. he didn’t want to join a side so he was like lmao team ianite boi and eventually she became an actual god as well

this is just all of season one i’m talking about; season two has so much shi t going on oh my g o d i’m just gonna put more under the cut if you wanna read it (but there might be spoilers if you think the above is good enough)

Keep reading

8

 East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brulee, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor. It’s a place where one person, if it’s the right person, changes us all. East High is having friends we’ll keep for the rest of our lives, and that means we really are ‘all in this together’. Once a Wildcat, always a Wildcat !

LMAOOOOO i just saw the video of sara flirting (the one from that voice clip) and it’s EVEN BETTER THAN THE VOICE CLIP ITSELF I’M CACKLING oh my god oh my goddd (and here if anyone wants to watch it, but be careful cause some of the videos on the sidebar might have other spoilers)

  • Me: *online*
  • Parents: OH MY GOD GET A SOCIAL LIFE! I AM GOING TO DISCONNECT THE INTERNET!
  • Me: (What I say:) You should be thankful that I’m not one of those teens that go out and do drugs.
  • (What I want to say: ) You have no idea how much the internet is an escape for me. When I try to be social, I get shot down and end up feeling like shit. When I go online I find people that make me happy. I don’t have to worry about anything because Im not focusing on the bad, all I’m doing is smiling. So if you take that away, you take my happiness with it. You have no idea how hard it is for me to socialize… It makes me panic and get anxiety attacks…
  • YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE. I have so much I haven’t told you. I never told you how I feel AT ALL. So don’t go saying that Im wasting my life because I don’t know where I would be if I didn’t have these people online making me smile EVERY SINGLE DAY.
  • Parents: *makes a smart-ass remark*
  • Me: *Goes back to my room and locks myself away again*
THINGS THE FANDOM SEEMS TO FORGET ABOUT AYATO KIRISHIMA
  • he put up a decent fight against shironeki in the first aogiri arc. that scene may have been one of his lowest moments, but he did some damage to an SS rate at age 14
  • additionally, during that fight he was said to be stronger than an S rated ghoul (jason)
  • and he healed pretty fast considering he had literally half of his body shattered
  • In chapter 8 of :re he easily took out a whole squad on his own, leaving only one person heavily injured
  • it’s been about a year in the story since the auction raid when we last saw him in action. he’s probably trained loads
  • he might even have a kakuja. who knows, i mean his dad had one
  • speaking of arata, ayato’s planning on going to cochlea, which is where his dad’s at. i’m trying not to ask for arata because ishida will do something bad to him, but i want a kirishima reunion
  • he’s an SS rate at age 17/18/19 (oh my god he’s an grown so much), which is younger than both seidou and donato (also SS rates). that makes him the youngest SS rate in tokyo ghoul i think
  • he’s overcome the main weaknesses of an ukaku ghoul (stamina and close-range combat)
  • he can shape his kagune really well

basically my point is the second aogiri arc is happening, and kaneki vs ayato rematch i’m not seeing so many posts about what damage ayato could do. i’m not a proper tg theory blog, i just really like ayato kirishima.

listen bewear, i know that i probably thought some bad things about you like “man what kind of FUCKING creepy ass pokemon is this holy shit” 

but now,,, i take it ALL back just jsust what the FUC K is this it’s so cute oh my god it looks like a lil puppy bear i want to take it home and brush it and feed it lil puppy treats and groom it and i just want oNE SO BADLY and he just looks so happy when he attacks even though he’s probably letting out an evil ass dark pulse or something but he still look s o cuTE when doing so aaaaaa;;;;; i just want to hug it and snuggle it and just want to thank not only god but nintendo itself

viktor-loves-yuu  asked:

au where they're all owners of local shops/restaurants with terrible, cheesy slogans and business names like, really, really bad puns everywhere no one is safe bitty owns a bakery called Bakin' Bits shitty owns a small law firm with the slogan "Sometimes when life gets crappy, you need a Knight on your side" dex owns a seafood place "where the lobster's so good, you'll wonder if it's even real"

oh look, what did I find here? is it a fragment of a newspaper from the small town of Samwell, where local businesses place ads to promote their wares and provide subtle commentary on the other businesses? 

In the small town of Samwell, where NHL players Chris Chow and Jack Zimmermann have started a soup restaurant together, and where Johnson’s General Store seems to be wherever you need it, you don’t air your grievances to someone else’s face. Instead, you write a letter to the editor or shill out more money for more words in your classified. 

One question remains: who owns a hair salon, and what pun have they chosen?

 Image description and notes below the cut.

Keep reading

“oh hey dad, meet my boyfriend the mass murdering angel with a taste of pb and j’s, oh an here are all of my only remaining living friends the king of hell, an evil thousand year old witch, god, a werewolf hunter, and gods sister (but her and I kind of have a thing so don’t tell the murdering angel). too bad you missed the lesbian computer nerd she died when frankenstein killed her lol another day on the job, right dad? oh and if you want to take a trip to purgatory you can meet my best friend benny he’s really cool i promise hes one of the nice vampires ahaha why are you looking at me like that sam’s the one that slept with a demon for a year.”