oh my god i mean really

Yang what was the most awkward thing your sister has walked in on involving you? (Asked by anon)
  • Yang, nervously laughing: Haha probably nothing I mean c'mo-
  • Ruby, without looking up from her scroll: She was trying on some of Raven's old clothes while listening to really dumb edgy music.
  • Yang, her face boiling up with embarrassment: Th-that never happened!!!
  • Ruby, still toying around on her scroll: Yes it did I got dad a framed picture of it for father's day one year.
  • Weiss, slowly closing her book, her jaw dropped: Oh. My. God.
  • Blake, trying not to explode into laughter: Is this picture....still around?
  • Yang: NO!
  • Ruby: Yes.

I’ve been busy with grad school and never got around to seeing Moana. I’m on break now, so I watched it this weekend.
Oh. My. God.
I loved this movie so much.
First off, the shift from a girl searching for a hero to a girl becoming the hero she needed was amazing.
Secondly, the fact that the villain was in fact the victim of the story, was a great twist that really challenges you to question your understanding of a situation.
Finally, that the conflict was resolved not with violence, but with compassion, was perfect.
It teaches kids to redefine what it means to be a hero.
Would recommend.

anonymous asked:

What if during a Sans meeting Error calls Ink an asshole during it and the Errorlust Child asks what's an asshole and Error is all like "GOD DAMN IT FRESH THE ONE TIME YOU DIDN'T CENSOR ME, YOU NEON GLITTER DICK!!!" Then the Errorlust Child is all like, "What's a dick? Is that a nickname of some kind? Can I call my friends that?" How mad is Lust and everyone else going to be at Error? 0^0;

AHAHAHA OH MY GOODNESS

Well, Lust doesn’t really care, he’s probably gonna be honest to his kid, but Error’s hella embarrassed and Lust is like ‘no shh shhh it’s okay jeez louise I mean it’s not like he was gonna be innocent forever’

anonymous asked:

hiya, so I'm the person who wrote the remix of your fic for totls and I just wanted to say that it means so much to me that you've read it and enjoyed it (I'm calmly screaming about it). Please don't feel like you have to respond to this on your tumblr, I just really felt that I needed to tell you that the kind things you said about the fic absolutely made my day, thank you so much :) you're wonderful

oh my god i meant every word it put such a smile on my face. i can’t emphasize enough how fantastic it was and you did that pairing so much justice. i’m glad i could make your day and i just want you to know that you also made mine. so thank you and you’re wonderful :)

Originally posted by zechs

lawchan89  asked:

I just wanted to say I was having a really bad night until I read your Starco Soulmate AU fic and it really brightened my spirits. It was so beautiful and sad and well done, thank you :)

oh my god????? thank you so much!!!!! you’re my favorite starco writer (especially the mewni monarchs series i’m dying) and this just means so much i’m glad i could help!!

jake and amy’s relationship is one of the best heterosexual relationships i’ve come across in a while because: 

  • it’s an interracial relationship between an ashkenazi jewish man and a latina (specifically cuban) woman 
  • it’s genuinely loving, healthy, and dorky 
  • they support each other and they make each other better. their relationship adds to their happiness instead of taking away from it 
  • they always communicate and resolve conflicts maturely 
  • they retain their independence, personalities, goals, and ambitions while still sharing each other’s hobbies and ideas and enjoying each other’s favorite activities 
  • they don’t let their relationship get in the way of their career, goals, or obligations 
  • they have their own lives outside of their relationship and we actually get to see them navigate the lines between a professional and romantic relationship 
  • unlike most het ships, amy’s autonomy and personality aren’t reduced to jake. she isn’t jake’s love interest - she’s a main character of her own and her relationship with jake is just one part of her storyline and character 
  • unlike most het ships, jake doesn’t bemoan being in a committed relationship. he loves amy wholeheartedly and is willing to do anything for her, and his friends actually support him instead of mocking him for that  
  • they were friends before anything else. which means that they actually have fun. there’s nothing toxic or unhealthy about their relationship because it isn’t mired in heteronormative, misogynistic stereotypes. that is, they have a realistic and authentic dynamic because it isn’t all about ~ooh passion and melancholy and angst~. they’re cute and fluffy and it’s always presented as a good thing 

my inter-lgbt discourse rule of thumb is that if you wouldn’t fight about it irl than don’t do it here i mean would you really go up to an actual person and say half the shit you do here shut the fuck up oh my god

Person A: *hiccups* *more hiccups*
Person C: woah, you should drink some water
Person A: *drinks water* I still feel.. *hiccups even more*
Person C: I got it. The element of surprise shall save you from your mis-
Person B: *kicks the door open* HEY YOU A! I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU SO MUCH AND I WILL LOVE YOU TILL THE END OF TIME AND I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK - I’M NOT LYING AT ALL, BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU THIS, SORRY FOR BEING ABRUPT BUT I JUST REALLY - 
Person A: *falls to the floor*
Person C:
Person C:  oh my god, I think you just killed A

SKAM S04E04 Clip 4 - The Best Of Islam

NOORA: What is this again? We’re here for my sake?
SANA: Yes, of course we’re here for your sake.
NOORA: Just to look at muslim boys and stuff.
SANA: Aren’t you tired of white boys now? I thought we had to get out, meet new types of people, see that there’s plenty of fish in the sea. You know what I mean?
NOORA: But you said muslim boys just use Norwegian girls.
SANA: It’s good that you’re converting to Islam, then.
NOORA: Don’t turn around now, okay? But are those boys looking at us?
SANA: How shouldl I see if they’re looking at us if I can’t turn around?
NOORA: Oh my God, they’re coming over!
SANA: Stay cool.
NOORA: Stay cool? I’m really fuckign cool! Hi there!
SANA: Hi!
NOORA: Hi.
BOY1: Can we sit here?
SANA AND NOORA: Yes, of course.
JONAS: It’s okay? Great!
SANA: Sit down!
NOORA: Hi! Yes, hi.
ALI: Ali.
NOORA: Noora.
ALI: Nice to meet you.
NOORA: Noora, it’s a pleasure.
SANA: Sana, it’s a pleasure.
ALI: Ali, it’s a pleasure.
JONAS: Jonas. It was sana?
SANA: Yes.

Keep reading

Humans are weird

Ok, getting on the humans are weird bandwagon….

It surprises me that we haven’t talked about the most obvious thing: humans imagine things. Humans outright make shit up. (Like these posts?) Human stories often aren’t retellings of things that actually happened. Art often isn’t a depiction of true events. Humans - for want of a better word - humans sublimate. They transform their experiences into outlandish non-reality for each others’ amusement.

It takes forever for first contact to start because the aliens planning it keep getting confused by first radio, then television. Some of these depictions can’t be possible - but which ones? The first time War of the Worlds reaches the Kuiper belt, someone panics and has to double check that a more aggressive group hasn’t actually invaded.

After humans are finally integrated into galactic culture, some issues crop up.

“Did you clean the waste facility?” the Janitorial Supervisor asks.

“Well, I would have,” the human starts, then proceeds to tell an outrageous story about a cleaning bot with a knife strapped to its back which has the entire crew searching the ship for hours. The entire crew except for the humans.

The Captain finds the humans “searching” the self-poisoning cabinet in one of the crew quarters.

“Oh my god,” the First Officer says, on seeing the Captain’s dust-speckled upper ears. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you really fell for that. Stabby is a cryptid, Harold!”

The Captain’s name is not Harold, but that is another, even longer story.

The Captain exhales. “What is a cryptid?”

The assistant medical officer sits up straighter, his drink sloshing dangerously. The Captain has learned what “a gleam in his eye” means and how to detect it. They sit, resigned. There’s no escaping now.

An hour later, the Captain explains the concept of cryptids in considerably less detail to the embarrassed and confused Supervisor. Along with the concept of lying.

“But how do you know the difference?” the Supervisor asks, wringing their tentacles in mixed embarrassment and worry.

“Find another human,” the Captain advises. “Check for signs of mirth.”

This turns out to be prescient, because on their next planetary stop, two of the human field officers come running back into the base camp, out of breath and without the rest of their scouting team.

“Nasty buggers with teeth!” one gasps. Though the other officers appear skeptical, the Captain glances at the First Officer, who is already setting down her meal and grabbing her favorite flamethrower. The assistant medical officer yanks his kit straps over his shoulders, face grim.

“Arm yourselves,” the Captain tells the rest.

It takes about four hours, but they get everyone back more or less intact. The humans change the sign in the rec room on the ship to read: “Us: 6, Them: 0″. There is a ritual raising of liquor-filled glasses, even by the injured who are forbidden self-poisoning. The Captain begins temporary hibernation very relieved that humans are so willing to count other species as “us”.

When they ask the First Officer about it two cycles later, the First Officer looks confused, then knowing.

“My great grandmother remembers when you first showed up. They picked your people for first contact for a reason, didn’t they?”

“We look the most like you.”

“Yeah, well, that was a bad call. Gran says humans debated for months whether or not you were just other humans with good prosthetic makeup.”

The Captain blinks at this. “Most peoples are shocked and upset to learn the rest of the sentient universe does not share their appearance. Wait.” They pause. “Is that why we had so many applicants for the Janitorial position?”

The First Officer ignores that, as she usually does when the Captain doesn’t really want to know the answer.

“Do you know why cryptids exist? Why horror and violence and monsters exist in our stories?” she asks instead.

The Captain twitches both sets of ears ‘no’. “It seems unnecessary to frighten yourselves over things that don’t exist.”

“But nasty buggers with teeth do exist, even if we haven’t met them yet,” she says grimly. “And we were ready, weren’t we?”

It’s true. The humans on board have been terrifyingly adaptable, even in their violence.

The Captain feels their way carefully. “You think about things that don’t exist… sometimes even things that distress and terrify you… so that you can be ready when you face real things that distress and terrify you?”

“See, this is why you’re the Captain, Harold.” The First Officer slaps their shoulder hump cheerfully, careful to avoid the spines. “And better yet, we share the things we imagine with each other. It’s like a mental vaccine.”

“And it works?”

“Eh, sometimes. It’s not perfect. Sometimes we don’t mark our vaccines properly, or don’t realize we’re adding things we didn’t mean to. Some of them have a bad effect on some people, for various reasons. But we joined the galactic community in less than a generation. Has any other species ever done that?”

“You imagined us before you met us.”

“Now you’re getting it.”

Resources for Sea Magic

Someone asked for some resources on sea magic, but I accidentally answered it publicly instead of privately, as requested. Sorry ><

So I deleted the ask and the username, and am just posting it publicly anyway.

I have a tag for [“sea magic”] and one as well for [“water magic”] - anything I have will be in there. The practices, while similar, obviously have a different focus that can take the impact and how it is worked in different directions. Sea magic is a very specific branch of water magic that is well known and often practiced.

Here are a few resources on sea magic, not including spells or I’d be here forever- this is all just informational stuff about sea magic.

I found my old list of resources on sea magic [here], but oh gods, it really needed updating - I mean, just look at the format!

General

Sea Water (and Water in General)

Tides

Sea Salt

Sea Shells

Sand

Herbs / Plants

Sea Glass

“Sinking”

Charging

Mermaids

DIY

Divination

Blogs

anonymous asked:

Hello!! Can I ask for a friend zoned MC feeling unrequited love to the RFA + V & Unknown which ends in a "I like you god damn it" confession?? And they like you back?? Thank youuuu (: I love your blog btw

Author’s note: sorry this is so rushed I have to post Saeran/V’s separate bc this is so long || So some of these aren’t as much confessions as they are cute, BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY THEM NONETHELESS ♥

Yoosung

  • “To the left, MC!!!! NO, YOUR OTHER LEFT!”
  • You smashed the buttons of your controller down, hoping something good would happen
  • I have no idea what I’m doing.
  • “Uhh, Yoosung?”
  • “Hmm?”
  • “I think I just died.”
  • “WHAT?”
  • You set your controller down and glanced over at your best friend
  • His eyes were glued to the screen, tongue sticking slightly out just like it always does when he’s focused on something
  • The light from the monitor flashed white and Yoosung jerked forward, causing your knees to collide
  • You felt your face heat up at the skin on skin connection
  • “A-Ah, Yoosung?”
  • “Not now, MC, I think I can win this!!”
  • Yoosung leaned over in front of you, trying to get a better angle of the screen
  • You got a whiff of Yoosung’s shampoo and your heart skipped a beat 
  • I don’t know how he smells this good after playing video games all day.
  • You involuntarily reached out and ran your fingers through his hair
  • “…So soft.”
  • For a second you though you felt Yoosung leaning into your touch
  • But that’s probably my imagination…
  • The screen flashed again and Yoosung turned around to look at you
  • He was still leaning over on your side, your faces now inches apart
  • “I won!”
  • Yoosung gave you a close eyed smile
  • That damn smile.
  • When you didn’t respond to him, Yoosung frowned
  • “What’s wrong, MC?”
  • “…”
  • Screw it.
  • You summoned every ounce of strength you had and closed the gap between his lips and yours
  • Before Yoosung could react, you pulled away
  • “U-Uhhh,” you looked at Yoosung’s bright red face, “Congrats on the win?”
  • Do it!! Tell him how you feel!
  • “Yoosung, I-“
  • “M-Me too.”

Zen

  • It was just another average friend date with Zen
  • You, him, a small bistro, hundreds of fans all begging to get a picture with him
  • Just a normal day
  • “Zen, over here!!!”
  • “Sorry about the flash, I just HAVE to make sure it’s a good picture.”
  • “Are you stupid??? ALL of Zen’s pictures are good!”
  • You turned to look at your friend, who was soaking up as much of the limelight as possible
  • This dork…
  • He stood up and tapped on his glass with a fork
  • “Ladies, ladies, you can all get a picture with your Zenny, just be patient!”
  • “Since when are you theirs?” you mumbled, crossing your arms
  • Zen glanced back at you
  • Crap, did he hear me?
  • You gave him a big smile and a thumbs up
  • That ought to throw him off his tracks.
  • Zen turned back to the sea of fans
  • “I’ll be outside in ten minutes, so if everyone could make a line outside, that would be perfect!”
  • In the blink of an eye the restaurant was empty again, a flood of screaming girls and guys retreating outside to wait for their prince
  • A sigh of relief escaped your lips as Zen sat down
  • “Are you mad at me?”
  • You looked down at your food and began messing with it
  • “Don’t play with your food, MC.”
  • “Okay, mom.”
  • He sighed, “If you aren’t going to answer my question I’ll just go outside right now.”
  • Zen put his hands on the table and started to push himself up
  • “W-Wait.”
  • You grabbed his arm and pulled him back down
  • “I’m not mad at you,” you sighed, “I’m just mad that we never get to spend time together like we used to.”
  • Zen put his hand on top of yours and leaned in toward you
  • “What do you mean? I see you all the time up at work!!”
  • You stared at his hand
  • He’s touching me.
  • He’s holding my hand.
  • ZEN is holDING MY FREAKING-
  • “MC???”
  • You awkwardly coughed and pulled your hand away
  • “Y-Yeah, uh no… what were we talking about?”
  • Zen leaned back in his chair
  • “Never mind… let’s just eat.”
  • He lifted up his glass of water to his lips
  • Those lips…
  • “I love you.”
  • “WHAT?”
  • “DAMNIT ZEN!”
  • You pushed away from the table and stood up
  • “You spit all over my shirt,” you gestured down to the wet material that clung to your chest, “my WHITE shirt!!’
  • “W-Well you said that you… you love me.”
  • “Ah… that.”
  • And all of sudden, the floor became veryyyyy interesting
  • I wish I had the power of invisibility…
  • “MC, look at me.”
  • While you were contemplating superpowers, Zen had taken the time to walk over and stand in front of you
  • “Nah, I think I’m good,” you continued looking down, “the floor happens to be my favorite shade of… brown.”
  • A soft and warm hand tilted your chin up, and your eyes met his scarlet ones
  • “I love you too.”
  • You slowly leaned in-
  • “ZENNY, WE’RE WAITING~”
  • Offff course.
  • Zen stepped back and glanced at the girl peeking through the front door
  • There was the click of a camera and a squeal, and she was gone again
  • Zen scratched the back of his head
  • “Sorry, I guess it’s-whoa whoa WHOA, what are you doing????
  • You flung your wet shirt over the back of the chair and shivered
  • “Man, this place is kinda cold,” you looked up and smirked, “then again, I am wearing just a bra.”
  • You heard a very inhumane noise come from the back of Zen’s throat
  • “The fans can wait.”
  • Zen grabbed your wrist and pulled you into his chest, his lips crashing against yours
  • The beast was NOT contained that night

Jaehee

  • On your way out of the RFA building you glanced at your watch
  • Damn… it’s already 11pm? I stayed waaaaayyyy too late.
  • When you walked past the break room you heard the familiar sound of the copy machine clunking turning on
  • “…damn Jumin and his damn reports-“
  • I wonder if that’s…
  • “-with his damn cat and the damn cat wine.”
  • Yup, that’s Jaehee.
  • You peeked in the room and watched as she stuffed a stack of papers into the copy tray
  • She wiped her hands on her skirt and sat in the chair next to the whirring machine
  • “You should go talk to her.”
  • “WhAT THE-“
  • Seven put a hand over your mouth and pulled you away from the door
  • Jaehee glanced up and sighed
  • “Anyone there?”
  • Seven removed his hand and you lowered your voice to a whisper
  • “What the hell do you want?”
  • He glanced at the breakroom and then back to you, giving you his famous ‘I have an idea that could go horribly wrong or perfectly right’ look
  • “Good luck,” was all he said before grabbing you and harshly shoving you in the breakroom
  • “WAIT-”
  • But it was too late
  • In a flash the redhead was gone, and you were alone with Jaehee
  • She looked up and smiled
  • “MC? I didn’t know you were here so late! It’s nice to have some company.”
  • You stared at her, unsure of what to say
  • S-So cute…
  • “U-Uhh, yeah…”
  • Jaehee stood up and stretched, letting out a tiny yawn
  • “How much longer does Jumin have you here?”
  • She picked up the warm copies from the tray and leaned up against the machine
  • “I just have to run this back to his office and I’m done! At least, until he inevitably calls me at midnight asking for more cat food…”
  • You walked with her to Jumin’s office, continuing to listen to her rant about his late night antics
  • When the two of you finally got there, she plopped the papers in a box outside the door
  • “H-Hey, Jaehee?”
  • She glanced over at you
  • “Hmm?”
  • “You wanna go grab some late night coffee? Since, you know, Jumin should be calling you in about,” you checked your watch, “30 minutes.”
  • “Sure!! That’s exactly the pick me up I need, a nice little friend date!”
  • Hold up.
  • “…Friend date?”
  • “Yeah, I was thinking-”
  • “I like you. A lot.”
  • Jaehee stopped and turned to you
  • “A-As a friend?”
  • You stepped closer, “More than a friend.”
  • Her eyes widened and a deep blush spread across her cheeks
  • “Oh…”
  • “Oh?”
  • You felt your heart break in two
  • She doesn’t feel the same… dammit, this is why you never fall in love with a straight girl.
  • Tiny hands wrapped around your own, causing you to look back up
  • Jaehee had a soft smile spread across her lips
  • “Me too… a-about the not friend thing.”
  • Her gripped tightened, “Not that I don’t consider you a friend! I’m just, well, what I’m trying to say, or rather, what want to say-”
  • “Would you two KISS ALREADY???”
  • Both of your heads snapped in the direction of the voice
  • “Seven, whyyyyy are you still here?”
  • “Still?”
  • “Yeah, he was here earlier when-”
  • “-When I set you guys up!”
  • As you and Seven began arguing, Jaehee looked between the two of you and sighed
  • She interlocked fingers with you and pulled you away
  • “Sorry, Luciel, but we have a date to get to.”
  • You stuck your tongue out at him and he rolled his eyes
  • “Whatever… have fun you two love birdddssss!!”
  • You looked over at Jaehee and smiled
  • Oh, we will.

Jumin

  • Dammit, he closed the blinds.
  • You rolled your chair closer and angled your head in an attempt to see into Jumin’s office again
  • “Peeping tom much?
  • “Shut it.”
  • Zen sighed and leaned up against your desk
  • “I still don’t understand what you see in him.”
  • You rolled your eyes and looked over at Zen
  • “You promised you’d be supportive-
  • “-And I am,” he held up his hands in surrender, “I just think you could do better.”
  • “What? Like date you?”
  • “Well, not that much better.”
  • Zen smirked and you playfully hit him in the stomach
  • Within the next second the two of you burst out laughing
  • “Wow,” you wiped a tear from your eye, “I don’t even know why that was so funny.”
  • “Me neith-”
  • “MC,” Jumin’s voice boomed, “Can I see you in my office?”
  • Zen raised his eyebrows and pushed himself off your desk
  • “Good luck,” he glanced back, “with him, you’ll need it.”
  • You rolled your eyes and stood up, cringing when your knees made a loud pop
  • Could my body, like, not embarrass me? No? Alllllllrighty.
  • You walked into the room and Jumin closed the door behind him
  • “So, what’s up?”
  • Jumin turned around and sighed
  • “I believe some… congratulations are in order.”
  • Huh?
  • “Did I get a raise?”
  • Jumin chuckled, taking one big step toward you
  • “No, I’m talking about you and Zen.”
  • …Huh?
  • “I’m a little lost… what do you mean-”
  • “Your relationship. Are you not romantically involved with each other?”
  • “Huh?”
  • Said that one out loud this time…
  • You mentally kicked yourself, “Zen and I are just friends.”
  • “Just friends?”
  • “Purely platonic.”
  • Jumin scratched his chin, completely lost in thought
  • You took a deep breath
  • Here goes everything nothing.
  • “…I actually have my eye on someone else.”
  • Jumin snapped back into reality
  • “Who? If that, well, if it isn’t too much to ask.”
  • Crap. Crapcrapcrapcrap-
  • “Is it really not Zen?”
  • Oh my god.
  • “You know,” you grabbed his tie, “you’re pretty clueless for a CEO.”
  • In one gentle tug, your lips connected with his
  • After a few seconds, Jumin pulled away
  • “So, it’s me then?”
  • You shook your head and grinned
  • “Of course, you-“
  • Jumin’s lips crashed on to yours again,his hands cupping your face
  • And let’s just say you were now very thankful for the closed blinds

Seven

  • “Wrench.”
  • “WRENCH!”
  • “Screwdriver.”
  • “SCREWDRIVER!!”
  • You grabbed the two tools from Seven’s hand
  • “You know, you don’t have to repeat everything I say.”
  • “Repeat everything I-OUCH! MC, why’d you kick meeee?”
  • Seven hugged his shin and hopped up and down
  • I’m surprised he has this much energy at 2 in the morning….
  • You looked back up at Seven, who had miraculously gotten over his bruised shin and was chugging a can of Dr. Pepper
  • …Who am I kidding, he never sleeps anyways.
  • It had been about an hour since Seven called you asking for help fixing his chair
  • You had gone to the furniture store IKEA anyone??? with him earlier that day and actually took the time to READ the damn manual
  • Anddddd, done!”
  • You clapped your hands together and smiled
  • “Wanna test it out?”
  • Seven gave you a mischievous grin
  • “Don’t mind if I do!”
  • Before you knew it, Seven grabbed your waist and pulled you into his lap, causing both of you to fall back into the chair
  • It creaked under the combined weight of you and Seven, but surprisingly remained stable
  • “Hey, you really did fix it!!”
  • Seven began spouting off nonsense about how crappy it was earlier, but you were too busy thinking about the fact that you were sitting
  • In his lap
  • INCHES away from his face
  • He’s so warm…
  • “-Plus, it kept making weird noises! I’m so glad you came over tonight.”
  • “Mmhmm.”
  • “Uh, earth to MC?? Agent 707 calling, can you read me??”
  • You shook you head, zoning back in
  • Seven sighed, relaxing back into the chair
  • “Thank God Seven you’re okay… I can’t have my best friend dying on me… literally,” Seven chuckled at his own joke
  • I love that little laugh.
  • “Dammit…”
  • Seven looked back at you
  • “What’s on your mind, MC?”
  • “You.”
  • DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD?
  • “W-What?”
  • Here we go.
  • “Seven, I like you.”
  • “You mean,” Seven furrowed his brows, “You like me, or you like-like me?”
  • You rolled your eyes, how old is he again??
  • “You’re so ridiculous.”
  • Seven looked at you patiently
  • “I like-like you.”
  • You felt lips lightly press on the back of your neck
  • “Well that’s not fair,” Seven tightened his grip on your waist, “because I love-love you.”

anonymous asked:

it's 02:15 am I have school tomorrow but I just went through all your voltron headcanons tag and I'm kajdjsjdjskndnsnsnsnndndjsjdjdjdn thank you so much they're amazing oh my god

i’m finally what i’ve aspired to be all my life: a bad influence

  • lance: “[gasps in spanish]” keith: “did you just say ‘gasps in spanish’ out loud”
  • coran doesn’t really get why lance keeps putting expired food goo on his face but i mean whatever makes him happy i guess
    • he’s mostly just excited someone likes the goo
  • *allura voice* “wait you mean humans can actually ‘pull a muscle’?? i thought pidge just made that up as an excuse to get out of training”
  • pidge judges lance for getting tricked by pretty girls but. like. lowkey if a robot ever asked her to follow it…..
  • hunk: “okay. stay calm. stay calm” keith: “i am calm??” hunk: “i’m talking to myself”
  • hunk teaches allura those elementary school road trip songs
    • he gets to the song that never ends which. causes some confusion
    • “but how do i know when to stop singing??” “well you kinda just go until you get bored”
    • but allura’s so!!! jazzed!!!! to be doing earth things that she can go for hours without getting bored
    • the team eventually votes to ban the song from the castle
  • shiro: “lance, can i talk to you?” lance: “oooh, someone’s in trouble. and it’s me. i don’t know why i did that.”

my ex: i think i’m a lesbian not bisexual

me: that’s cool

my ex: no its not its so hard being gay in this society we’re so hated

me: i mean we have it pretty good these days people are getting more accepting 

my ex: no you don’t get it you’re not gay

BBY NEITHER WERE YOU TILL TEN MINUTES AGO WHAT DO YOU MEAN 

Adoption for Fun and Profit

I was DMing a 5e session where the premise was helping a young, mute elf child (Sunny) get back to their parents, with the promise of pay should they get back home alive (since the characters are all neutral alignments and otherwise probably wouldn’t do it). It becomes apparent that this kid has been living alone for months and probably won’t last much longer without a proper house and family. At the end of the session they find a small house with gravestones nearby and find out that the parents had died years before, and Sunny just couldn’t survive the trip back to the house alone and wanted help to get there. Sunny offers them their pay solemnly, clearly not expecting them to stay any longer than they need to. Without much hesitation one player who just adored this sweet child decided to adopt the kid as their own (completing a good part of their character arc).

DM: So… you’re taking in this kid, then? Yeah? Well! Alright, congrats, you’re a family now! That’s-that’s so adorable, guys. Gotta, gotta go back to school shopping, start the college fund.

[Some time passes as players talk about the choice.]

Rogue: I hand Sunny back the box of gold with a paper taped to it, it says “Sunny’s School Fund”. I say, “Listen, this here is—this is gonna be your college fund now.”
DM: Oh my god that’s so cute. You guys, you are ALL neutral alignments, this is so nice of you. That… that kid has 300 gold pieces in their college fund now I guess, wow.
Rogue: I—I took 50 gold out of the box, actually.
Table: *a beat of silence before uproarious laughter*
DM: I mean—I mean okay you’re chaotic neutral so this fits really well like—you would’ve earned 75 splitting it equally anyways, you, you’re giving back to—that’s completely fair.

Hiveswap Teaser #2 Analysis

So, first of all, HYPE. Although I never stopped being Hyped but. MORE HYPE. Before I start talking at all about the teaser trailer, I gotta say, I’m glad WP are taking their time refining and bug-fixing to make a great game for us to enjoy, and knowing how far along it is and how close the release date might be, we’ll wait to see how it comes out!

Okay so the teaser, first we start with what seems like Joey peeping into the attic of the house through a hole. That already makes me feel we’ll get the little tease of knowing where to go but forbidding us from seeing what’s behind the cool curtain until we find the key that opens the door there.

There are a LOT of guns, some sarcophagus, tons of horse imagery, statues in the background, mirrors, Jake sure loves tossing stuff he finds during his adventures around the house! The multitude of items frame the centerpiece of the portal quite well, and the eerie glow gives-

Wait.

Okay, wait, what the FUCK JAKE.

DO YOU SEE WHAT I’M SEEING?

WHERE THE HELL DID JAKE GET THE CLOCK?!

We start /well/ if this is the kind of shenanigans Hiveswap has prepared for us, oh my god. This means that by this point in the timeline, Jake had access to SBURB stuff, though, so that’s an interesting thing to have in mind.

The camera zooms on the portal, and then Joey appears, reaching over to expose it, before cutting to the title. Hiveswap.

Can I say, I’m really glad about the direction they took with the 2D stuff. Everything looks so good, Joey’s expressions and movement are so sweet. I love her already.

The next scene cuts to Jude using a flare gun (Which we see later in his inventory) likely to warn Joey or to use it as a distraction somewhere else? The pile of leaves right under the window makes me think he’ll have to hop right off the window and into it in the future. There’s also a fountain on the wall that looks like a Lich, further confirming Jake’s already gone hunting to the Medium by this point. Also, the sky, the clouds, the background, looks absolutely GORGEOUS.

Then the flare lands in front of the house, and here we can see a few things. First of all, the statue. Of course. And also, I bet Jude cut the bushes to look like Nessie because he’s a cryptid fan. However, there’s a thing I just realised. I don’t know if this was a detail in the prior trailer or not but…

Doesn’t the house look just… Not taken care of? The previews of the inside, all the stuff just thrown everywhere, I assumed Jake was just kinda like that, messy. But the look of the house on the outside, with the broken pillars and the vegetation growing everywhere. The broken glass is likely from the monsters, but otherwise…

Jake. How long have you left those two poor kids alone? Not to say, wherever ‘Hauntswich’ is, there doesn’t seem to be a soul ANYWHERE in the surrounding area except for their creepy neighbours.

Next, Joey is crawling through the vents, either to get in or escape from some monsters, and while happy, soon the vents shake and her expression shifts. The way her expression dynamically changes like that, I love it, makes me think a lot about some Homestuck panels. That being said, either the vent is shaky, there’s something BIG and lumbering down the halls of the manor, or the damage to the house is more extensive than it appears.

Then, oh boy the UI looks neat! Worried Joey wanders the halls of her basement, I presume. The X at the top-left might be to make the UI disappear, or perhaps a quick quit to the game? Options on the top-right, help… Then, the inventory seems managed with Captcha Cards, of course. Easy to access and drag around to combine with stuff. Then there’s her battle… Stances? Weapons? There’s what seems like a ‘stomp’, her normal shoes. Then ballerina shoes, and her flashlight.

This makes me wonder how the combat system is. Furthermore- Joey seems to have the shoe selected! What’s that for? Maybe to hint that’s what you want to do in a sneak attack? Or is it not the weapons, and just something more like her ‘stance’? But if it was her stance, wouldn’t the flashlight be the one chosen right now? We’ll see how that works.

Of course, more to the right, there’s the character… Selector? Right now we have Joey, and you can talk with your Jude with a Walkie-Talkie. Straight-forward enough.

Also Jake, please.

Jude’s side of things isn’t looking too hot. That mansion looks fucking MASSIVE. It looks more like a village, but everything’s too… Bunched up together for that to be the case. Lumbering shadows, just there. Staring. The view is amazing, but very, very eerie. Here we see he only has a flare gun- Which we see him using earlier. Again, straight-forward enough.

Now is when things start getting interesting.

First of all, the new design of the Cherub Key is amazing. Cherub Teeth are the fangs, with the Calliope-Caliborn spiral in the middle, and the snakes coiling up. But also-

IT’S ALIVE? JESUS THAT’S CREEPY.

Creepiness aside, I like this much, much more. The one preview we had when it was still 3D had Joey actually reaching in to turn it on herself, just out of pure curiosity. In this situation, however? She’s being /dragged/ by the key, forced to open the portal, not by her own volition. This makes much more sense narrative-wise, and also makes me wonder if the key itself is a Juju. The lollipop forced Jane to lick it after all, and Jake has the CLOCK, so a Juju key with a Juju teleporter? Yeah, that fits.

The cherub snake-beams activate and… Okay, while the glow of the energy is red on the Caliborn snake and green on the Calliope one, both the eyes AND the sparks around the energy are green on both sides. Maybe the teleporter uses First Guardian energy in some capacity?

Finally, we switch to the Trolls! Xefros is a cutie, and that’s some RADICAL VIOLET BLOOD riding a… Bronze grub. That sure’s a way to promote the drink. Anyone can decypher what the can says?

Then we have a first GOOD look at Xefros’ Hive! There’s a picture of the Sloth Lusus, Xefros and Dammek. Cute. Also there’s a tree going through the entire top, maybe his hive is like Terezi’s? It could be, his Lusus IS a Sloth, and Joey switches with Dammek, so it’d make sense Dammek is the one with the more urban hive.

We see an Alternian Phone, some videogame, with HEXAGONAL DISCS. I don’t care if it’s more bug-like, that’s so incredibly inconvenient and asinine, Hussie, What Pumpkin. >:V Then of course, theres Trizza broadcasting her memes permanently on the TV, and the first look at Xefros’ weapon of choice! Which seems to be a… Cricket bat? Cool.

Then Xefros slams the can of soda against his forehead to crush it. Nice.

This is a lovely look at the urban look of Alternia. It’s curious, Trolls are nocturnal so I expected to see more activity at night. Then again, Drones have been taking Trolls to cull, so it’d make sense if they’re all hiding.

ALSO DAMMEK’S LUSUS! They’re riding it around :D Likely going from Dammek’s place and towards Xefros’ if he does live in a tree-Hive. The background of the Alternian Landscape is absolutely haunting.

We have a VS Screen! Not only that, but Joey’s reaction to each enemy and situation seems to vary from one to the next. That’s a nice touch.

Joey, you’re being unnecessarily extra. That’s Jude’s pigeon though, and the bat monster seems surprised by Joey’s dramatic entrance!

Okay so, the thing at the bottom seems like it’s maybe the battle system? The right arrow points at Joey, so maybe it’s her turn and when it’s the monster’s it points left. Then the three spikes at the top might expand into something like. Abscond, Abjure, Aggrieve? Again, I have no idea how the system will work. Also, the bat seems confused and bouncing around. It’s hard to tell if this is RIGHT after the Vs Screen, and being surprised made it flip the fuck out, or if Joey did something that confused it and made it bounce around.

The state of the kitchen really drives home the fact Jake has been an absent father for a VERY LONG TIME. Have they just been ordering noodles to eat all this time? I can see some adorable pictures on the fridge.

There she goes. What do you wanna bet that in Hauntswitch Act 1 we get a scene exactly like this but with Dammek’s silhouette going down the red shaft?

Me too, Joey. Me too.

Finally, “The door is nearly open” seems like a reference to the little line on the Hiveswap page: “First thing’s first. You need to open the door.”

Conclusion: I NEED THIS GAME NOW. Patiently waiting for it to come out, still very hype.

  • Ed: [Points a gun at Oswald] I am not letting you get away this time.
  • Oswald: [Kicks the gun out of Ed hand and kicks Ed to the ground]
  • Oswald: [Picks up the gun] that makes two of us
  • Oswald: [Fires the gun]
  • Oswald: [Looks at gun] what the hell?
  • Ed: OH MY GOD!!! YOU REALLY WANTED TO SHOOT ME!! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WERE ACTUALLY GOING TO KILL ME!!
  • Oswald: [Looks inside gun] BLANKS??? YOU HAVE BEEN CHASING ME AROUND FOR 2 DAYS STRAIGHT WITH A GUN FULL OF BLANKS??!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU??
  • Ed: WELL I WASNT ACTUALLY GOING TO KILL YOU!!
  • Oswald: [Looks confused as fuck] WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WERE'NT ACTUALLY GOING TO KILL ME???
  • Ed: I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST PLAYING A GAME WHERE I CHASE YOU AROUND THE CITY THAN YOU CHASE ME AROUND THE CITY PRETENDING WE WANT TO KILL EACH OTHER OH MY GOD YOU REALLY WANTED ME TO DIE
  • Oswald: WHAT IN GODS NAME MADE YOU THINK I KNEW WE WERE PLAYING A GAME??!!
  • Ed: I JUST THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING A GOOD ACTOR!!!
  • What she says: Lord of Shadows was a great book and you should really read it
  • What she means: thiS BOOK TORE OUT MY FUCKING SOUL AND I FUCKING HATE IT BUT AT THE SAME TIME I FUCKING LOVED IT. Emma and Jules are so cute but they're also just a big hot mess of emotions and angst and tbh they're ETERNALLY SCREWED. I love Diana and Diana and Gwyn are my actual fave but don't forget about Kitty because oH MY FUCKING GOd it's canon and they are so cute. Not to mention that Mark, Cristina, and Kieran will eventually have a threesome. I foresee it in the future. ALSO DID I MENTION THAT MALEC TAKING CARE OF THEIR KIDS IS THE CUTEST? Emma and Julian had sex again (shocker) and it was rlly cute and hot n heavy. Julian Blackthorn is actually my daddy. I s2g if those two parabatai don't chill Emma's gonna get fucking preggers and then things can only get worse from there. Jaime and Diego (especially Jaime) are sneaky, slimy motherfuckers and I don't really like them. no wait scratch that. I HATE JAIME BECAUSE HE'S TAKING ADVANTAGE OF DRU BUt Diego isn't that bad anymore but still.
  • ALSO I MISS ROBERT LIGHTWOOD A LOT MORE THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD BECAUSE HE WAS GOING TO HELP EMMA AND JULES AND PLUS ALEC SAW HIM DIE AND I CAN'T I JUST CANT OMFG. AND THEN LIVVY. LIVVY MY BABY OH MY GOOOOOODDDDDDD. LIVVYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. I ACTUALLY CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP THAT NIGHT WHEN I FINISHED LORD OF SHADOWS. GOD DAMN JUST SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE THE BLACKTHORNS A BREAK OKAY BYE.