oh my god i love the dad

  • Stiles: (playing Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator) I like Craig. He's so burly and athletic. He's strong and confident but he's also caring and insecure.
  • Scott: ...
  • Stiles: And he looks good too, I mean, that hair, those eyes, that butt...
  • Scott: (under his breath) oh my god.
  • Stiles: And he's the perfect daddy; he's so good with his daughters. He's so loving and always there for them, he does everything to be in their lives and make sure they're okay.
  • Scott: Stiles...
  • Stiles: Yeah?
  • Scott: He's Derek. Craig is Derek.
  • Stiles: O.O
  • Stiles: Derek is my Dream Daddy.
The Heathers soundtrack in five words

Beautiful: Life sucks, then you’re popular

Candy Store: Cinnamon roll drinks the kool-aid

Fight For Me: Accidental foreshadowing by Veronica’s thirst

Freeze Your Brain: No liquor? Try slurpees instead!

Big Fun: Everything is great! Oh, nevermind…

Dead Girl Walking: Veronica’s Thirst 2: Electric Boogaloo

Me Inside Of Me: She’s actually super sensitive, guys!! :)

Blue: How do I get consent???

Our Love Is God: Veronica’s gullible ass causes homicide

My Dead Gay Son: Dads are the ultimate ally

Seventeen: Love songs fix everything, probably!

Shine A Light: Kids talk about feelings, right? 

Lifeboat: Popularity sucks when you’re nice

Shine A Light (Reprise): Duke is a mythic bitch

Kindergarten Boyfriend: My crush died, better follow

Yo Girl: Everything is shit, thanks JD

Meant To be Yours: JD has abandonment/anger issues 

Dead Girl Walking (Reprise): STEP ON ME VERONICA SAWYER

I Am Damaged: Fuck you, empathise with JD

Seventeen (Reprise): McNamawyer is real, ship sailed!

thecrownedrose  asked:

Mechanic Bucky! So I went to pick up my car from the shop, and the mechanic who attended my car made me wish this for Bucky. His wife and kids were visiting him. And his wife in return offered him a slice of cake and a back massage when he got home for his tired muscles. And as his teenage daughter walked out she cried out "love you dad". His smile was so peaceful. Then he looked at me and went back to talking shop, but all concerned. "Make sure you get those brake pads fixed, ok doll?"

oh my god that is so pure 

Fluffy Friday™

BTS As Monsters

Jin:

  • Handsome monster
  • Gets people scared from how handsome he is
  • Can eat an entire city
  • “Skyscrapers dipped in swimming pools is such a great combo”
  • Loves taking care of trainee monsters

Suga:

  • The monster under your bed
  • Only gets out in the middle of the night
  • Would end up sleeping with you instead of freaking you out sometimes
  • Savage monster
  • “Oh my god it’s a monster!”
  • “Of really?! Thought I was a bicycle” *rolls eyes*

J-Hope:

  • Responsible of scaring kids
  • Can come out at any time
  • Apologizes to kids after scaring them and gives them candy
  • Ends up playing around the park with them
  • Extra monster

Rap Monster:

  • Well, he’s rap monster. So
  • Nicknames: Dad Monster
  • Likes taking care of baby monsters
  • Breaks everything in the city by simply walking around
  • Is polite, though
  • “Oh sorry! I didn’t mean to break your tower”

Jimin:

  • Smol monster
  • Feels bad for being a monster
  • “Scaring people is not nice”
  • Very smol so he’s still a trainee monster
  • Can be dangerous in monsters club

V:

  • Scares people in a fancy way
  • He’ll walk in on a business dinner wearing a Gucci tail cap, for example
  • People are still trying to figure out if he’s a monster or an alien
  • Scary, but he isn’t aware of it
  • “Why can’t I attend that dinner!”
  • “You’ll scare everyone, Taehyung”

Jungkook:

  • Aces all his exams and training on day 1
  • Thus, he’s the boss baby monster
  • Looks innocent, but is dangerous
  • Is into every female monster out there
  • Would actually watch a movie with you if he pops out at night
good things about the adventure zone

-when griffin scream laughs
-when they’re like “do i need to do a check” and griffin is like “no you’re goo-” and they’re like “i got an 18” and griffin is like “OH SHIT YOU JUST DO IT SO GOOD. ONE HAND NO LEGS.”
-when clint makes a dick joke and they boys are like “EW NO GOD NO” and he’s like “they did it!!!” and the boys are like “YOURE MY DAD”
-when travis tears up about magnus’s backstory and/or love of dogs
-“and then you all died oh nooo well that’s the end see ya everybody- no i’m kidding”
-“you and the box both drink the poison and you’re dead and the box is dead and you’re both dead. bye.”
-“ango”
-garfield
-fuck what’s his name. the coin guy. i love him.

  • some of y'all: joseph is problematic and deserves absolutely nothing
  • some others: joseph is 100% unproblematic and deserves everything good in life
  • me: i personally think joseph is a grey individual, he's not entirely bad but he does actually say the word ’wink’ whenever he winks so that's not okay,
dad and i watch captain america: the winter soldier
  • dad: oh god it's starting shut up i've been waiting for this for months
  • (movie starts)
  • dad: THESE ARE THE BICEPS OF FREEDOM
  • dad: i don't know what's happening but the french guy fighting cap looks like french macklemore
  • me: how do you even know who macklemore is?
  • dad: i'm hip. i'm cool
  • me: don't you do it
  • dad: i'm gonna pop some tags, only got 20 baguettes in my pocket
  • (five minutes later)
  • dad: is that the Falcon? that's totally the Falcon
  • me: how do you know?
  • dad: i used to read the comic books trust me on this i'm an expert. his superpower was that he could talk to birds
  • me: birds?
  • dad: i mean in hindsight it probably wasn't the most useful thing ever
  • dad: if this winter soldier is supposedly a ghost in the machine that nobody's ever seen, and nobody will ever catch, you would think showing up in broad daylight and blowing up cars would not be his modus operandi
  • dad: how the heck did he laser through concrete??
  • me: idk dad it's nick fury he can probably do whatever he wants
  • dad: i'm sorry attractive nurse who just so happens to live next door, my heart belongs to a seventy year russian dude with a bionic arm
  • me: what
  • dad:
  • dad: nick fury isn't dead. justice never dies. he probably has a billion clones in some top secret storage facility, just waiting for their organ harvest.
  • me: ew dad gross no
  • dad: i really relate to that apple store employee
  • me: we all do dad
  • dad: oh that's that guy from the first movie! i remember him! he was my favorite, his eyes were so blue, and he loved steve so much. i wanted them to get together
  • me: dad good god
  • dad: he was a little less marilyn manson at that point though
  • dad: not that guyliner isn't a good look for this guy
  • dad: when a deadly russian assassin wears eyeliner, it's 'he's so dreamy' and 'wow what a badass'
  • dad: but when i do it it's 'you're too old' and 'bald guys can't pull off make-up'
  • me: dad it was halloween and it was one time you need to let this go
  • dad: so bucky barnes, aka cute cocky guy who died in the first movie, aka steve roger's best friend/boyfriend, is a top secret super scary brainwashed hydra agent?
  • me: mmm-hm
  • dad: called it
  • dad: do you think single handedly destroying jets is just a common, everyday thing for cap? punch a few tanks, feed a few pigeons, take out a plane, help old ladies cross the street...
  • dad: captain america is like your grandad minus the booze and the cussing
  • dad: in all honesty that was a little anti-climactic
  • dad: i was 100% sure nick fury was gonna descend majestically from the heavens, 'All I do is Win' blaring in the background, and single-handedly save everyone's ass
  • dad: scarjo and chris evans are two of the most beautiful people in the world and they are both in this movie and i don't know how to feel about it i have butterflies in my stomach i'm a schoolboy again
  • me: you know on second thought we should have brought mom
  • dad: where's hawkeye? where's bruce? where's tony? where's thor? WHERE ARE ALL THE OTHER AVENGERS AS THE ENTIRETY OF SHIELD IS COMPROMISED AND NICK FURY DIES
  • me: maybe they figured steve could handle it
  • dad: maybe they're all lazy assholes
Dating Jughead Jones would include:

-You stealing his beanie 24/7

-PDA when he’s jealous

-Reading his novel as he’s writing it, when he notice it he laughs and goes back to writing

-You being the only one that makes him laugh and this confuses everyone

-Being together most of the time

-Defending him from Reggie

-Listening to music together

-Him sneaking to your window most of the time, specially at night

-“Jug, what the hell?! My parents are downstairs!”

-“Let me stay, please, I promise to be quiet”

-“Alright”

-Late night talks about everything

-Your parents not liking him at first but when they get to know him they love him

-Lots of PDA when you’re alone

-Helping him investigate Jason’s murder

-Caring about you more than he does about himself

-Making a promise that when you finish high school you’ll leave together and start a new life

-Him falling asleep in your legs, allowing you to play with his hair

-Falling asleep in his arms

-Him stealing your fries

-“Just because I love you I’m gonna pretend I don’t see you stealing my fries”

-“What’s mine is yours”

-Complementing his sassy remarks

-Him being the first one to say “I love you”

-Laying your head on his shoulder as he writes

-Lots of teasing from the group, specially Veronica

-Inside jokes

-You being the only one he can’t say no, except when he thinks you’re in danger

-Holding your hand or putting his hand on your thigh under the table when you’re at Pop’s

-Finding out he’s homeless

-“Okay, that’s it you’re staying with me”

-“Y/N…”

-No, Jughead! You’re staying with me. End of discussion"

-Tickling each other when you’re alone

-Him reading each chapter out loud when it’s finished because he wants to know your opinion.

-His dad thinking you’re a sweetheart

-He loves to scare you when you’re distracted

-“OH MY GOD JUGHEAD I HATE YOU”

-“No, you don’t”

-Best cuddle buddy

-Forehead kisses

-He kisses your hand when it’s intertwined with his

-He makes you blush most of the time

-Comforting each other when you had a bad day

-Action/Thriller movies marathons

highlights of 4x13
  • bellamy got to hear octavia say she loves him 
  • THE HUG 
  • BELLAMY INITIATED AFFECTION WITH CLARKE 
  • SHE SQUEEZED HIM 
  • DID YOU SEE THEM FOCUS ON HER HANDS 
  • Bellarke hugs give me life 
  • Raven Reyes is a mothafuckin genius 
  • Bellamy FLIRTING 
  • TOUCHING CLARKE’S HAIR 
  • OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT WAS THE BEST BELLARKE SCENE I HAVE EVER SEEN 
  • HEAD AND HEART
  • I CANT EVEN TYPE
  • omfg
  • Monty is so self-sacrificing he deserves better
  • NO MONTY
  • “Wouldn’t it just be easier to walk outside?” Bellamy with the sass yo
  • “We may need to throw someone overboard to lighten the load” JEEZ BELLAMY UR DAD JOKES
  • Ok Bellamy waiting like a lost puppy for Clarke was the saddest thing I’ve ever seen
  • “May we meet again” ok bye I’m crying
  • Raven gets her spacewalk!!!
  • Clarke saved them all!!
  • Bellamy thinks Clarke is dead goodbye
  • CLARKE RADIOED BELLAMY EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY FOR SIX YEARS
  • WHAT KIND OF FANFIC SHIT IS THIS
  • MY HEART IS BROKEN BUT GOD
  • HOW CAN THEY DO THIS TO US
smile ✦ peter parker

summary : as the adopted daughter of none other than tony stark, you have a myriad of responsibilities. babysitting peter parker probably wasn’t supposed to be one of them. not that you’re complaining.

word count : 4.7k (also known as the longest thing I’ve ever written)

author’s note : ur adopted b/c not everyone is white and i don’t want anyone to feel excluded from reading this due to the fact tony is white (and yes ik there are interracial couples i just want everyone to feel included i want to make sure whoever wants to read this can without feeling weird about it b/c i know it is something that bothers people in the fanfic community okay bye enjoy my loves.)

   Tony Stark was a lot of things to a lot of people. He was the billionaire, he was the genius, the philanthropist, and the notorious playboy in his younger years. Most notably, however, was that he was Iron Man. He was marveled at by the entire world, him and the group of heroes that stood beside him; the Avengers, as they called themselves. To you, however, he was your father. 

   A terribly overprotective one, at that. 

  Of course, this was only to be expected of a father, even a foster one, but the lengths the man went to in order to keep his only daughter out of whatever he deemed trouble were rather extensive. You rarely ever left the Avengers tower, and if you did you were accompanied by a team of people you could only describe as rip off Secret Service men. Sometimes, Natasha would replace them, or Steve, but that was a rare occurrence. You were homeschooled by the best tutors his money could pay for- this particular move was less about refining your education and more about keeping you away from any boy in the five boroughs. 

   You chose to spend majority of your time reading in your room and training, always wary of anyone who approached you about being a friend. Your surname meant everything to people, especially the girls that wandered around Manhattan desperate to become the bestie of the daughter of the richest man in New York. You loved your dad with all your heart, but the stigma that ran with the Stark name would never stop irritating you. 

   That, and the impromptu plans he threw at you on a regular basis. 

   “Miss Stark, your father is requesting access to your room. He knows you hate it when he barges in.” Vision drifted into your room without warning, making you jump. You yanked your earbuds out of your ears, giving him a look. 

   “I hate when anyone barges in, Vision. That includes you, too.” You pushed your chair away from your desk, placing your pen on the desk and shutting your notebook. “Tell him he can come in if he lets me become an Avenger.” You raised your voice at this, knowing he would hear you. 

   “He says that he’ll consider it if you let him in.” 

   You raised your eyebrows. “Touché.” You motioned for the door to open, and your father walked into the room, immediately taking his pristinely polished shoes off and lying down on your bed. You stared at him.“Dad, it’s not cool to wear sunglasses inside. You look lame.” 

   Tony Stark rolled his eyes at you. “It’s called a look, sweetheart.” You laughed, pretending to nod in agreement. He placed his hands behind his head as you spun your chair back around to your desk. “What are you working on?” 

   “Something for Bruce,” you muttered, pen cap between your teeth as you continued to jot down important points from his numerous lab reports. You were going to have to hand in a full analysis of his findings for your end of term science paper, and he was more than willing to aid you. “Science report.” 

   “My daughter, beautiful and intelligent, my flesh and blood,” Tony declared proudly. 

   “Dad, I love you to the death, but I’m still not your biological kid,” you smiled all the same, though, and he knew behind the tough exterior you were happy to hear his expressions of admiration. 

    “Who needs a biological kid when I’ve got this great, wonderful adopted one right in front of me.” 

   Not looking up from your notebook, you said, “You’re really laying it on thick today. I’m all of those things, obviously, but I know you want something. So, what is it?” You paused, then said, “Thank you, by the way.” 

   “You sure we’re not related?” He sat back up, clasping his hands together. “What do you say about Germany?” 

   “Nice enough place I guess, interesting history, why?” 

   “I kind of need you to go there for two weeks with me.” 

   With a groan, you dropped your pen and held your face in your hands. “Another surprise trip? Dad, I have school. I have homework! Do you see this?” You held up the thick stack of reports from Banner’s lab, waving them around. “This is gonna be, like, my life’s work.” 

   Tony shook his head. “Kids these days and their homework. Seriously. When I was at school I would have taken any opportunity to shirk my responsibilities.” 

  “You did do that.”

    He waved his hand. “Technicalities. Anyway, as you know the Avengers have been disassembled. Sokovia Accords and all that bullshit. I assume you’ve been keeping up?” 

   “Hard not to.” It was true. Anything in the news was about the great split of the infamous team, Captain America vs Iron Man. It was impossible to turn on the television without hearing about it. And, considering you lived underneath the same roof as half of them, it was quite literally not an option to be ignorant to what was going on. 

   “Good,” he grinned proudly again. If there was one emotion that the man felt whenever he was around, it was proud. Nearly everything you did made him beam with pride, and if you had been placed into an actual high school, there was no doubt in his mind that the person at the top of every single class would be you. You excelled no matter the circumstances. “So, to sum up, there’s gonna be a big showdown in Germany. Western style, naturally. Guns blazing and everything.” 

   Your eyes lit up and you nearly flew out of your chair, rushing over to him. “Oh my god, are you finally gonna let me fight? You’ve seen my training, right? I’m getting so good. I’m like, practically Natasha level good. She’s been showing me that move where I can snap people’s necks with my thighs and-” 

   “First of all, your thighs are not going around anyone’s neck, so jot that down,” he interrupted. Your enthusiasm visibly deflated. “I need you to kind of watch over this kid who’s coming with us. He’s from Queens. You love Queens.” 

   “You’re making me babysit?” You flopped down on your bed, staring up at the ceiling. “C’mon, dad, I’m sixteen. That’s practically an adult. I think I should be allowed to fight this time. I’m Avenger worthy.” 

   “Practically an adult is not the same as literally an adult, as in over eighteen.” You groaned again. “Don’t call it babysitting, anyway. He’s your age. Well, he’s a few months younger, but that doesn’t matter. Just call it… hanging out with a good kid that’s fighting for your dear old dad and making sure he doesn’t get into trouble in Germany or annoy Happy too much.” He patted your knee, standing up. “We leave in the morning, kiddo, so pack up.” 

   “How come he gets to fight if he’s younger than I am?” 

   “’Cause he’s not my daughter. Goodnight, light of my life.” He kissed your forehead before leaving, giving you another encouraging smile.

   “Goodnight, pain my ass,” you grumbled as he left. He popped back in, a stern expression on his face. “If I watch your new protégée can I become an Avenger?” Tony rubbed a hand over his eyes. Teenage girls were exhausting. 

   “We’ll talk about it.”


   You’re sitting at your breakfast table with suitcases piled next to you when Peter Parker strolls into your life with happiness in his every footstep because he is just so, so glad to be there. You’re spooning cereal into your mouth when he sits down directly across from you, a video camera cupped in his soft looking hands and the little red button clicked on, meaning that he is recording you. You place your spoon back into the bowl of milk that is dusted with cinnamon sugar from the Cinnamon Toast Crunch you’ve been eating for the past ten minutes. 

   “Do you mind?” 

   “Mind what?” He asked, peeking up from behind his camera. You gestured toward it, wiping your mouth with your sleeve. 

   “The camera. I’m kind of still in the middle of eating breakfast in my pajamas,” you leaned forward, switching it off. “You must be the Spider-Boy.” The chestnut haired boy feels a blush creeping up his neck and settling along his cheekbones when you say that. 

   “Oh, did Mr. Stark tell you that?” He rubbed the back of his neck, laughing awkwardly. “Um, it’s Spider-Man, actually.” He mumbled the man part, knowing fully well that he didn’t look like much of a man in the eyes of anyone, his eyes casting down as he fidgeted with the strap on his camera. 

   “Oh good,” you nodded. You took another spoonful of cereal. “I like that better. Nicer ring to it.” You grabbed your box of sugary breakfast and pushed it toward him, an offering. 

   “Huh?” He was a bit dazed. He stared at the box in front of him and then realized he had been doing that for far too long of a time to be considered normal. “Oh, right, um, sure, thanks!” He opened the box and took a handful, shoving it in his mouth. You kept eating your cereal, silently staring at the bowl and willing yourself not to laugh at the boy in front of you. With all his nerves, he was still a bundle of energy and cheerfulness, and, well, let’s face it, he was sort of adorable. “So, you think my name’s cool?” He tried to sound suave, charming, as he said it, tried to smirk at you, but he stopped when he realized that he looked stupid.

   You gave him a half smile. “It’s pretty good.” His face positively lit up with happiness to be taken seriously, and you knew the feeling too well. You stuck out your hand. “Oh, forgot to introduce myself-” 

  “Y/N Stark, adopted daughter of Mr. Stark, probably the smartest girl in all of New York and, uh, correct if I’m wrong but… Black Widow’s best student as well as Bruce Banner’s apprentice.” 

   You gaped at him. The blush he had been sporting crept up to his ears and made his nose turn the shade of a strawberry. “Well, uh, yeah,” you said, flustered. “Should I creeped out or flattered?” 

   “Flattered, please.” The genuine worry in his eyes as he leaned forward made you laugh. He had an endearing personality. 

   “Flattered it is.” You watched the slow sigh of relief leave his mouth, his hands flying up the mess of hair atop his head and fixing it distractedly. Your dad walked into the room, and Peter practically fell out of his chair trying to stand up and seem presentable. Your slouch was indicative that you didn’t care much. He was just your dad. “Morning, pops,” you slid the box over his way.  

   He frowned at it.” Y/N, that stuff is crap. I don’t know why you eat it.” 

   “Wanda and I like it,” you said defensively, a slip of the tongue. You knew your dad was going to get annoyed at the mention of the Scarlet Witch, who had evaded and ignored his attempts at keeping her powers under control. “It’s good. High quality. Right, Peter?” You whipped your head toward him. 

   He felt his heart give a little tug. He grabbed the box out of your hand and shoved more cereal in his mouth, the cinnamon sugar sticking to his lips. “Yeah, Mr. Stark. Best stuff ever,” he said through a mouthful of it. Tony gave them an amused glance, picking up your two heaviest suitcases and beckoning you both to the landing strip. Peter swallowed his food. 

   He didn’t even like Cinnamon Toast Crunch that much. He was just thrilled that you knew his real name.


   Everything about this kid was infuriatingly dorky in the cutest way possible. You came to this conclusion as you boarded the jet with ease, sitting in your usual spot by the window and greeting Happy with your typical friendly smile and idle chitchat. Peter stumbled onto it with awe written across his features as he stared around the place, touching nearly everything much to Happy’s dismay. 

   “Haven’t you been on a plane before?” The man asked, growing irritated with the way the kid was filming everything. You saw Peter zoom in on Happy’s face and grinned out your window. 

   “Nope, never!” Peter exclaimed, his video camera still in front of him as he captured every detail of his trip. 

   “Well, sit down so we can take off,” Happy said gruffly, grabbing Peter’s shoulders and forcefully placing him into a seat. 

  Peter sat still for a moment, then hopped over to the seat next to you. He placed his camera in front of him on the tray table. “Y/N, smile for the camera. I’m recording.” You looked at him, then turned to the camera and gave it a deadpan stare. You even threw in a slow blink. “Good enough,” he shrugged. He kept it recording as he shifted in his seat so that his entire body was facing you, his chin resting in his hand and his elbow on your armrest. His gaze was sort of nice. “So, Miss Stark, I have a few questions.” 

   “Um, okay, shoot,” you closed your book that you had open on your lap. “I’m not that interesting, just so you know.” 

  “I think you’re interesting,” he assured you. You heard Happy let out a choked laugh at Peter’s flirting attempt, but it was just another thing you found sort of lovely. It was a genuine compliment. “What’s your favorite subject in school?”

   You’d been expecting the typical what’s it like being Tony’s daughter spiel, and you were pleased to get an actual question about yourself for once. “I like everything, I guess. I kind of love school, but I don’t go to a conventional school, so. Training is cool, I like that a lot.” 

   “You train with Black Widow, I have to ask- can you show me some moves? I need to refine my technique before the fight,” he explained.  

    “Do you wanna learn how to crush people with your thighs?”

   “Wow! Do you think I could? Could you teach me? That’s so cool,” he beamed, turning to the camera for a split second with an overexcited look. 

   You pursed your lips, staring out your window for a minute. You were up in the air by now, and there was long flight ahead of you. “Maybe. If my dad is okay with it. I have to check.” Peter looked confused, 

   “Why wouldn’t he be?” 

   “He’s, you know, really overprotective.” You put your first against the cheek, leaning the same way that Peter was. You sighed. “I don’t have a lot of friends. Which is fine, but I can’t even attempt to go make any because I have a whole freaking SWAT team on my ass the minute I step out of the tower because he’s so worried about my safety.” You let your head hit the window, your eyes rolling skyward. “And that makes no sense because-” 

   “You’re really strong and stuff. You can protect yourself,” Peter finished. 

    “I think you know me a little too well, Peter,” you said, poking him lightly in the arm. “But… yeah, exactly. I don’t really get to do anything fun. I don’t have adventures. Sure, reading is fun and studying is fun for me and training is great and I love hanging out with everyone in the tower but I’m still a teenager. No fun for me, though. My life is pretty boring, sorry if that makes your little video diary suck.” You stuck your tongue out at his camera.  

   “No worries,” he said, taking it off the tray table and turning it toward you. “Tell me every boring detail, Miss Stark.” 

   “As long as you stop calling me Miss Stark.” 

   “You’ve got a deal.” 

   It was a seven hour trip, and you both passed out by the three hour mark after Peter had pried every excruciating detail from your life out of you. You hated sleeping on airplanes, but your head was slumped against his shoulder and his arm was knocking against your own and his sweatshirt was as soft as pillow. You remembered the shy glance he had given you just before you knocked out on his shoulder for the remainder of the flight. He had a sweet smile. 


    Peter filmed absolutely everything. He filmed himself getting off the plane and then filmed you getting off the plane and nearly shoved the camera in Happy’s face until he threatened to break it and Peter backed off. He radiated enthusiasm. “Look at this, and this, and this, oh shit wow that’s so cool look at this! Oh man this is good stuff!”

   “Peter this is literally just the airport how am I supposed to take you around the actual city?!”

   “OH WOW Y/N have you seen this!” 

    “Yes, Peter!” 

     He zoomed in on your face, your devoid of emotion look appearing again. “Are you ever gonna smile for the camera?” He gave you a pout, doe eyes and all. You turned away. 

   “No. I’m supposed to be babysitting you, please be behave.” You touched your fingers to the bridge of your nose, dragging Peter to a couch. “Please sit. We’re getting the hotel reservations checked.” 

   “Do they juice boxes? I’m really thirsty.” He was just trying to make you laugh at this point, and annoying you was kind of funny for him. You let out an involuntary chuckle when he pretended to claw at his throat, throwing himself on the ground. 

   “I’ll make sure they have juice boxes for you, Petey. You’re such a seven year old, geez.” You pretended to gag. 

   Looking offended, Peter replied, “I’m actually twelve.” 

   Jokingly, you said, “You’re a twelve year old that’s going to get a punch in the face if you don’t settle down right now.” He stood up, directly in front of you with his light eyes and little grin, another feverish looking heat burning at his face. Nevertheless, he still said, “It’d be an honor to get beaten up by you.” 

  His voice, the sincerity he carried within it despite the ludicrous statement, made you feel those famed butterflies fluttering inside you. Maybe it was the way he looked into your eyes as he said it. Maybe it wasn’t. But something within you was starting to like Peter Parker, and you’d barely known him for twenty four hours. 

   Then again, it was hard to not like Peter. The kid was just so damn likable. 


   He had known it from the moment he first set his eyes upon you that day in the tower that he was a goner. If he had known it then, just from sitting down across from you with nothing to him but his lanky figure and a suit that resembled a onesie more than it did a costume fit for a hero such as he, he was sure of it now, a week and a half later. 

   Every day had been the same routine. He’d be up bright and early in the morning so you could help with him his training, teaching him how to utilize the suit your father had given him with ease rather than his usual tactic of jumping into everything blind. You’d been the one to help come up with nearly all of the web shooter combinations. He didn’t know all of them yet, or close to half of them, but he was progressing wonderfully. 

   After training, you’d give him the tour of your favorite places around Germany, close enough to where you’d both be able to get back to the hotel before dark. He filmed the both of you constantly, but you shied away from the cameras every time without fail. He couldn’t understand why, but he didn’t push. He just liked filming in general, and would accept you not smiling in any of his clips as long as you were still in there. 

   There was a beautiful sense of normalcy that came with hanging around Peter. You reveled in it. No one had ever made you laugh so hard with his ridiculous attempts at jokes or made you smile so much at his shy flirting skills that clearly needed to be revisited. 

   It was okay. You didn’t mind. And the fact that you didn’t tease him for it made him so, so happy. 

   Then, came the day of the fight. Peter had his camera out, he was dressed in his spidey suit, and you were standing there next to him dictating who he should and shouldn’t go after. 

   “Don’t go after Wanda ‘cause she could obliterate you in two seconds and Cap could crush you, too, but he won’t ‘cause he’s really nice like that. Bucky won’t care as much, though, so don’t do that- Ant-Man seems pretty cool and harmless but I don’t have as much intel on him and Peter if you get hurt you have to go hide somewhere-” 

   “I’m not gonna get hurt,” he said confidently. 

   You ignored him. “I’m gonna be in your earpiece, figuratively speaking, so I’ll hear everything you do and if you talk I’ll be able to hear you and you can hear me. So, just… keep me updated.” Peter took off his mask for a second, hair sticking up everywhere from the static. You leaned up, smoothing it back into place. Everything about him was soft. You wanted to curl up in it and stay there for as long as you could. 

   “I’ll be fine, Y/N, don’t worry,” Peter placed his hand on your shoulder. You felt your face heat up. 

   “I- I’m not worried.” You totally were. “I know you’ll be fine.” You didn’t want him getting hurt. “I just want you to be careful.” You didn’t want him to fight. 

   You could’ve sworn his face fell a  bit when you said you weren’t worried, but he squeezed your shoulder anyway. Without a moment’s hesitation, you threw your arms around him, your nose pressing against his neck as you took a deep breath. He stood there for a second without doing anything until he realized that if he didn’t hug you back, he’d be the dumbest person on the face of the Earth. You felt his surprisingly defined arms hug you back. 

   You didn’t look at him when you pulled away. You stared at the spider emblazoned on his chest, gave him a quick good luck, then departed from the room. You sat on your own hotel bed with a rapidly beating heart.

    The nerves were killing you. Ten more minutes. You opened your laptop and pulled up the system that would allow you to communicate across Team Stark. You were more focused on your dad and Peter. You tapped into your dad’s earpiece after placing the headset on. “Dad?” You spoke into the microphone. 

   “Hey, kiddo, everything okay?” 

   “Y-Yeah I just-” you took another breath. “Be safe. I love you.” 

   “I love you too, Y/N. Are you sure everything is okay over there?” 

   “Can you just make sure Peter gets out okay? If he gets hurt, bring him right back, please. That’s it.” Maybe it was a stupid request in someone else’s eyes, but you needed Peter to make it back in one piece. Tony Stark looked over at Peter Parker, crouching in his hiding spot and fumbling around with the gloves of his suit and gave the kid a knowing smile. Of course that was the one his  daughter fell for in the end. Perfectly fitting. 

   “I’ll make sure.” You knew your father couldn’t see the grateful smile on your face, the sigh of relief that fell past your lips when he spoke these words.

   Peter Parker, I swear if you make it out of this, I will smile like an idiot in every single one of your stupidly adorable video diary things. I swear. Just be safe.


 “Your black eye is awful,” you told him, dabbing at it with more cream. “Totally ruins your face.”

   “I think I look manly.” 

   “You think incorrectly.” You stepped back, your fingertips tilting his chin up so you could examine it further. “I think I got the worst of it. You did really well, Peter. Exceptionally well.” His face was glowing from your compliment. 

   “Can I get on that tape?” He asked excitedly, ducking under his hotel bed for his camera. You nodded, and he switched the camera on. He held out his arm so that you were both in frame. And you smiled. He forgot all about what you were supposed to say the moment that beautiful smile appeared there. “I- wow, Y/N.” 

   “What?’ 

    His stare was kind as it usually was. “You just-” he paused. “Your smile is really, really beautiful.” There was no way for you to turn away from the camera this time and you were left grinning like a lovestruck idiot at the boy in front of you, leaning up on your toes to press a kiss to his cheek. 

  “Thank you.” 

  You slept the entire plane ride the way you had the last time, curled up against Peter. This time, it was intentional. One of your arms was flung across his waist and his was wrapped around your shoulders, the sweatshirt he had came in now swaddling you cozily. There were two separate cars waiting for you. You stood in between them when the flight got off, the sleeves of his sweater hanging off your hands as you reached out to grab his. He felt you push a piece of paper into his hand. “You better call me, Peter Parker. I’ll be really upset if you don’t.” 

   He wrapped you suddenly in an embrace that lifted you off your feet just a little bit, his lips pressing against your temple. “I’ll call you every day.” 


   He kept true to his word. Every day without fail, your phone rang with a call from Peter, and you fell asleep on the phone with him more often than not. If you weren’t on the phone with him, you were texting him, and if you weren’t doing that, you wished that you were. The consistent communication was better than nothing, but regardless, you missed his presence. You missed the way you felt walking next to him as he explained why chocolate ice cream was so clearly better than vanilla. You just missed him. 

   “Peter?” You held the phone to your ear, nestled in your blankets already even though it was barely nine o'clock. His sleepy voice mumbled out a yes? “Would it be stupid if I said that I missed you?” 

  She could practically hear his wide smile through the phone. “Of course not. I miss you, too. So much. Probably more than you miss me.” 

   “That’s so not true!” She scoffed. 

    “Wanna bet?” His tone was mischievous, no longer the hoarse, pretty voice of a boy just waking up from his nap. “Open your bedroom door.” 

    “Are you joking?” 

    You hung up the phone, throwing back your covers and not caring one bit that your hair was a dripping mess from your shower or that you were wearing  a terrible set of hello kitty pajamas that weren’t meant for anyone over the age of ten based on the size of the top. You nearly tackled him to the ground when you saw him standing in your doorway, a happy squeal escaping your lips. You were surprised he even got in, considering your dad wasn’t home, but you figured Vision had let him in. Vision always had a way of knowing. 

   “Have I ever told you that you have a really pretty smile?” Peter’s lips hovered over yours, almost hesitant. You took the initiative to kiss first, your hands delving into his silk-like hair. There was no point in waiting anymore. Your noses bumped together clumsily when he tilted his head back, admiring. You could feel your whole being light up when he gazed at you the way that he did, in that admiring, careful, Peter way of his. 

   “Careful, Spidey,” You warned, hands on his chest as you stared right back up at him. 

   “Careful of what?” He quirked an eyebrow. 

   “You’re going to make me fall in love with you one of these days if you keep looking at me like that.” It was only the truth, and you were a honest person.

   “That’s sort of the plan,” he shrugged in a seemingly careless way, but he couldn’t hide it. He was an open book. An open book who loved you, and the way that you smiled at him when he pulled back his sleeve to reveal a web shooter, a strange glint in those brown eyes of his as he said, “You up for an adventure?” 

Local Dad Orders a Burger at The Coffee Spoon

(Based on the video: Local dude orders a burger at Starbucks)

Mat: Can I help the next guest please?

Mat: Ah hello sir, welcome to the Coffee Spoon, what can I get for you?

Robert, heavily distorted: Yeah, can I get a motherfuggin’ uhhhhh-hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Craig and Joseph: *giggling in the background*

Robert, still going strong: hhhhhhhhhhhh, burger?

Craig, Joseph and Brian: *breaks down laughing*

Mat: Sir, we don’t sell burgers here.

Robert, distorted: What do you mean you don’t se- *cuts off*

MC, Craig, Joseph, Brian and Damien: *laughing in unison*

Mat: We sell, we sell paninis and breakfast sandwiches-

Brian: OH MY CARDIAC ARREST.

Mat: -and coffee.

Robert, distorted: You think I know what a panini is!? *white noise*

MC, Craig, Joseph, Brian and Damien: *wheezing in laughter*

Robert, distorted: Just give me a burger! Extra cheese! *more white noise*

Mat: No!

Craig, Joseph and Damien: *giggling now*

Mat: We don’t have burger extra cheese! We have paninis-

Robert, distorted: You don’t understand-

Mat: No!

Robert, distorted: I need this. *white noise*

Mat: Sir!

MC, Craig, Joseph, Brian and Damien: *still giggling*

Mat: I’m gonna have to ask you-

MC, Craig, Joseph, Brian and Damien: *giggling so hard it overpowers Mat*

*Hugo walks in*

Robert, distorted: Why are you suppressing food from the public!? *white noise*

Craig, Joseph, Brian and Damien: *still giggling so much that nothing can be heard*

Hugo: What in the hell did I walk in to?

Joseph: I’M CRYING-

Mat: Do you want coffee? Tea?

Craig, Brian and Damien: *cacophony of giggles*

Joseph: I’m crying…

Hugo: What happened?! Hold on, hold on…

Mat: Can I get you a caramel macchiato?

Robert, distorted: Yeah, I’ll have a burger, extra dip. *white noise*

Mat: We don’t have-

Hugo: Oh my GOD, the voice changer?! Really?!

Craig: I’ll have two number nines, a number nine large…

Joseph: I’m crying, oh my god…

Mat: Sir, this is the Coffee Spoon, not a McFridayz…

Robert, distorted: Please, they’ll take my wife if I don’t give them the burg- *cuts off, white noise*

Craig, Joseph, Brian and Damien: *laughing again*

Mat: Sir! You’re at the wrong store!

Mat, sounding exasperated: You want a McFridayz, not the…

Damien: Why are you buying clothes at the soup store!

Robert, distorted: Hello? *white noise*

Craig, Joseph, Brian and Damien: *burst out laughing again*

Mat: Hello??

Robert, distorted: I would like a burger. *white noise*

Mat: No!

MC, Craig, Joseph, Brian and Damien: *a mixture of laughs and wheezes*

Hugo: Oh my goooooood…

Mat: We sell, we sell coffee, and, and confectioneries here, Jesus Christ…

Hugo: Geez…

Mat: Boss, agdaj, I need to get the Manager…

Craig: Bro, how much of that did you get?

Joseph, Brian and Damien: *quiet giggles*

Robert, now echoing: COMPOUND!

Hugo: Eugh…

Joseph: What?!

MC, Craig and Damien: *wheezing*

Mat: Sir, do you want to-Sir, do you want to speak to the Manager?

Joseph: He’s ordering from the ether…

Mat: He’s ordering a burger-

Robert, distorted again: Can I get a fucking uhhh-

Mat: No…

MC: Oh my god…

Mat: He’s ordering, he’s trying to order a burger with extra dip at the Coffee Spoon…

Imagine Jagged Stone being the reason and a driving force behind Marinette's Career taking offp

Imagine Jagged Stone getting really tired of people just not getting his style. The clothes that are chosen for him are boring, his new Image Consultant wants to turn him into a ‘XY-wannabe’ (needless to say they didn’t last very long) and his record contract with Bob Ross Music was torn up after a final explosive argument even though he reached number one again.

The only bright spot seems to be the album cover that the cheery middle-school student, Marinette, designed for him. Everything about it was him and she even added a smelly-sticker that had the whole ‘sweat and leather’ thing Rock ‘n’ Roll was about. Also the shades she gave him were pretty sweet. So he figures he’d personally give her some back stage passes to his latest concert as a thank you and maybe to see her again because her facial expressions are hilarious. 

Marinette arrives at the Palace to pick up the tickets and she practically falls over herself thanking him for the tickets. For convenient Plot Shenanigans, her sketchbook falls out of her bag while she’s thanking him and Jagged sees just how much talent Marinette has and where her true passion lies.

Clothes. 

Imagine one thing leading to another and Marinette finds herself commissioned for a jacket for Jagged to wear at his next concert.

She makes the jacket and Jagged adores it. He loves it so much, he has to be talked out of making Marinette his personal fashion designer by Penny, his new contractor and Fang (though it’s definitely a close call and it’s only the fact Marinette hasn’t finished high school stops him [Education is important]).

So he does the next best thing. He hires her on a semi-regular basis.

Imagine Jagged and Marinette end up meeting often to discuss styles, colours, textures and general fashion choices.

Imagine Jagged hiring Marinette to make various accessories and clothes for various publicity events. (Though he does take into account of her schooling and doesn’t overwhelm her with commissions.)

Imagine Jagged Stone and Marinette becoming good friends to the point he gives her special behind-the-scenes access to publicity events so she can be inspired and he becomes something of a mentor when dealing with fame and publicity. She talks to him about the odd boy issue (he is no help at all because he just laughs at her) and Chloe being Chloe and how she gets discouraged about her designs occasionally.

Imagine Jagged bragging about the sweet, talented student that made his accessories for an award ceremony to other celebrities and on television. (He wanted her and her family to come too but it was a school night.)

Imagine Marinette wondering where all these commissions from celebrities are coming from and why Jagged looks a bit too pleased with himself every time she brings it up.

Imagine Jagged celebrating loudly when Marinette receives several summer internships from various fashion companies after seeing her talent even though she is so young.

Imagine Marinette’s fashion career taking off through various celebrities and public figures all adoring her designs . It becomes a thing where people begin to brag about having a 'Marinette Special’.

Imagine Jagged encouraging Marinette to push her limits and use her intuition to create the best designs possible for each of her commissions. (All of her customers love her for it.)

Just Imagine that it’s all Jagged Stone’s fault Marinette’s career takes off so early.

Submitted by @my-insanity-is-an-artform

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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MY GOD I MADE A VERY VERY INHUMAN NOISE

LOOK AT KILLUA’S FACE, HE LOOKS SO SO SO SWEET OH MY GOD YOU CAN PRACTICALLY SEE THE LOVE EMANATING FROM HIS EYES I AM S Q U E A K I N G

i can’t decide what’s better about this interview with angourie rice i stumbled across in an issue of NYLON magazine i picked up at the airport yesterday: 

  • the fact that colin was so good and so intense during shooting that angourie was actually terrified of him 
  • THE FACT THAT COLIN FUCKING FARRELL KEEPS GRANOLA BARS IN HIS BACKPACK IN CASE HE GETS HUNGRY  
3

title: Classified (Peter Parker Imagine)

characters: reader x peter parker, daughter!reader x tony stark, steve rogers, bucky barnes, clint barton, natasha romanoff, bruce banner, james rhodes, wanda maximoff, vision, sam wilson

request:“Could you write one where the reader is Tony Stark’s daughter and is dating Peter Parker? Something where the reader and peter try to sneak around and be discreet but everyone on the team knows about the relationship except Tony. Maybe Tony could find out in a very uncomfortable way or something like that? You can take what you want (if any) from this. You are a fantastic writer so i’m sure it will be great!” - @shenanigans-and-broken-hearts​

word count:1,411

warnings: swearing, secrecy (is that a warning idk)

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