oh my god i love him so much you don't understand

an incomplete list of lines in aftg that will always fuck me up

“Did you know I’ve never been skiing?”

“I told her what would happen if she raised her hand again. She had no right to look so surprised.”

“His father. Your coach.”

“Who said ‘please’ that made you hate the word so much?” “I did.” / “I was seven,” Andrew said. “I believed him.”

“If it means losing you, then no.”

“Go on, tell me again how I’m too unbalanced to understand normal brotherly affection and love. Tell me this is natural.”

“Good,” Neil said quietly. “So now you understand why Andrew killed your mother.”

“Do you honestly think that if I wanted to kill someone, whether it was myself or someone else, that I would fail so spectacularly at it so many times?”

“Neil,” Wymack said, “between you and me, I don’t think you’ve ever been fine.”

“I’m tired of being nothing.”

“Would it kill you to let something in?” “It almost did last time.”

“Neil? Are you all right?” Neil smiled. It felt like it tore his face open. “No. No, I’m not.”

“Thank you,” he finally said. He couldn’t say he meant thanks for all of it: the keys, the trust, the honesty, and the kisses. Hopefully Andrew would figure it out eventually. “You were amazing.”

“Everything I needed, you already gave me. You let me stay.”

“You are a Fox,” Andrew said, like it was that simple, and maybe it was.

“Wait, he chose Neil over you? That sounds a little serious for a fling, don’t you–” Nicky glanced at Neil’s blank face and faltered. “News to you too, huh?”

“That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you.”

“I won’t be like them. I won’t let you let me be.”

“Stay,” Andrew said, and leaned down to kiss him.

This was everything he wanted, everything he needed, and Neil was never letting go.

anonymous asked:

Hey, you're German, right? I've got a huge favour to ask of you. I've been studying German for a few years, and I plan on studying there for a year. Before that, I wanna improve my language skills, so I've been wondering if you could tell me about some good original German movies? I don't want to watch dubbed ones, I've heard they're horrible. Thank you so much! Love your blog, by the way.

Dubbed movies aren’t actually half bad - at least to movies dubbed in other languages. Trust me, I’ve watched both Spanish and French dubbed movies, they were way worse. This is what we like to call “Jammern auf hohem Niveau” - complaining even though everything is pretty good. You’ll find that Germans are a people of complainers; we like to complain about everything. We are never content :) 

Still, I’m really really excited that you’re interested in my culture and HELL YES THERE ARE A BUNCH OF AWESOME GERMAN MOVIES. Here are some highly acclaimed ones and some of my favourites, I hope all links work. 

  • 12 Meter ohne Kopf (a movie about a German pirate, who allegedly walked 12 meters after being beheaded in order to save his crew)
  • Auf der anderen Seite (a really bautiful sort of episodic movie connecting the lives of three families, both German and Turkish)
  • Barfuss (a movie about a girl suffering from PTSD, who is saved mostly accidentally from committing suicide by a dude cleaning the clinic she is in, and then follows him around everywhere, and they fall in love. Seriously, onely one of two movies by Til Schweiger worth watching)
  • Buddenbrooks (the story of a very rich merchant family and their downfall…a really famour book adaptation)
  • Das Boot (a movie about a German submarine and its crew during World War II. 100& must-see)
  • Das Experiment (A movie about a psychology experiment in prison, and how people react when given free reign over others. This should come with a huge trigger warning. It’s awesome, but also really super disturbing)
  • Das Leben der Anderen (You might’ve heard of that one, since it received an Oscar. It deals with surveillance in East Germany, and is, also, a must-see).
  • Das weiße Band (A movie about the oppressive and rigid society pre-World War I children grew up in.)
  • Das Wunder von Bern (This movie mixes the football world championships of 1954 (soccer for heathens who call other stuff football) and the story of a family that has to re-learn to live with each other when the father comes home after being a war captive for like…12 years MUST SEE)
  • Der Baader Meinhof Komplex (movie about famous German left extremists, the RAF and their terrorist attacks)
  • Der Schuh des Manitu (THE single best German comedy to ever exist. It makes fun of Cowboy movies/books that are super popular in Germany. You’ll cry of laughter seeing Native Americans with a Bavarian accent - which also means your language level should be really high, or you won’t understand a thing. Uh, obviously don’t watch if you think white comedians playing Native Americans is racist even when it’s satire)
  • Der Untergang (the last days in thr life of Adolf Hitler. You’ll probably have heard of that one, too. MUST SEE)
  • Die Blechtrommel (God, I don’t know how to describe this one. Basically, a movie about a child who decides he doesn’t want to grow anymore and observes the world of the adults around him?)
  • Die Fälscher (again, dealing with World War II, and people in concentration camps who were tasked with copying money of other countries)
  • Die fetten Jahre sind vorbei (a movie about three rebels who break into rich people’s houses only to rearrange their furniture and tell them to revise their morals - until one of them catches them in the act and they abduct him for a weekend. MUST SEE)
  • Die Feuerzangenbowle (THE classic movie. about the German school system. An older guy pretending to be a student at an elite high school. Also gave the name to a drink you will find a lot on Christmas markets)
  • Effie Briest (another novel adaptation about a young woman whose marriage is arranged and who loses everything when she cheats on her husband)
  • Ein Freund von mir (two guys who are completely different building a very strange friendship)
  • Elementarteilchen (about the lives of two brothers who were separated after birth, and the completely different lives they lead)
  • Fack Ju Göhte (no links yet, it only came out last year, a new comedy about the German school system, and absolute must-see, if you happen to find a link one day)
  • Gegen die Wand (a Turkish girl fake-marrying a German addict in an attempt to escae her family. MUST SEE)
  • Goodbye Lenin (a beautiful movie/comedy about a family and the German reunification. MUST SEE)
  • Im Winter ein Jahr (a family dealing with the loss of their son/brother)
  • Kabale und Liebe (a superb adaptation of Schiller’s play. bsjdhkdjk)
  • Kebab Connection (…I don’t even know how to describe this movie. Just watch it. Very multi/transcultural and hilarious)
  • Keinohrhasen (a douche has to do community service at a kindergarten - and finds that the girl he used to bully as a kid is now his superior. uh-oh. It’s super funny)
  • Kirschblüten - Hanami  (a dude travelling to Japan to understand and be close to his late wife) 
  • Lola rennt ( a movie about a couple in a dangerous situation - and three possible outcomes)
  • Schiller (ah boy, this was a TV production, so I couldn’t find a link. A brilliant movie about the life of Germany’s best playwright, if you ask me)
  • Soul Kitchen (a comedy about a guy trying to keep his restaurant afloat and keeping his brother out of a life of petty crime)
  • Sophie Scholl - die letzten Tage (a movie about the last days in the life of Sophie Scholl and her brother, who were part of the resistance against the Nazis)
  • Vincent will Meer (a guy with tourette syndrom, a girl with an eating disorder and a guy with OCD break out of their psychiatric clinic to go to the sea. MUST SEE)
  • Was nützt die Liebe in Gedanken? ( a movie based on a real story, about a group of teenagers vowing to commit suicide once they do not feel any love anymore)
  • Wer früher stirbt ist länger tot (a comedy about a kid who does a lot of nonsense and when told that he is the reason his mother dies, blames himself, feares that he has to go to hell, and tries to make up for his sins by finding his dad a new wife. Hilarious. Again, tho, super strong Bavarian accent, beware!)

And if you want to watch a few good German TV-shows:

  • Türkisch für Anfänger (ABSOLUTE MUST SEE TV SERIES OMG WATCH IT!!! It deals with a German-Turkish patchwork family and it is hilarious)
  • Tatort Münster (basically a procedural crime show. There are a lot of Tatorts, but this is the only one that is always good. you’ll find a lot of the episodes on youtube)
  • Der letzte Zeuge (a show about a coroner solving crimes)

anonymous asked:

I honestly tried so hard not to ship Destiel but it's just one of those ships y'know you just kinda accidentally ship and I really don't wanna cause some of the fandom is kinda toxic but I can't help but to ship it

Dude, SAME.

Originally posted by findyourownhappyending

Honestly, I’ve never shipped anything before (I liked it when Spike x Buffy did eventually go somewhere and was kinda beautiful but I didn’t really ship it), I didn’t even know what shipping was until I found tumblr a few months ago, I’m mostly straight (I’m a bit fluid but meh, mostly straight), and I never really thought about representation that much beyond ‘yeah, thats a great thing, there should be more of it’. 

So I just watched the show (on my own) with no previous knowledge of anything at all and…. well…. it was so obvious?!

I mean, I just binge watched the show last year because I love sci-fi and I was in a bit of a bad place and needed a distraction and had watched all the Buffy/True Blood/GoT I could and was looking for something new.

I loved seasons 1-3, I did, but then, enter Castiel and literally, my life has kind of changed?! I have an obsessive personality anyway but…. jeez. What a character and WHAT A ROMANTIC GLORIOUS LOVE STORY!

And then it just dragged… and dragged…. and yet also GREW so much?! 

So, like, what exactly are they doing? Well, I believe they know exactly what they are doing, especially since Dabb took over, but hey, let’s see…. but my blog description is ‘endgame Destiel positive’ so you know what I mean ;)

It’s all THERE, they all know its there, the writers USE it in their plots, the editors make it visually obvious, it’s even referenced in the show, the actors all KNOW, I mean come on!

Originally posted by literarycasualty

It’s not our fault if they use all the romance tropes with these two.

I think it is very relevant that so many Destiel meta-writers and shippers have a background in understanding stories, being teachers, journalists, book worms, cinematography students etc etc and therefore can make pretty good conclusions from the material that is being shown.

I mean, the overall story of these two characters is that one is a fallen, rebellious Angel who just wants to feel Human and belong somewhere and loves caring for others and one is a faithless man with abandonment issues who just wants someone to stay with and care for him.

Said fallen Angel rebels and does it, all of it for Him, eventually looking to Him instead of God, is in return called ‘family’ and cared for himself. 

Said Human learns to have Faith in and through his Angel and through this in himself, which is a key part of his overall story in the whole show.

They’re WRITTEN as each other’s canonical other half (see this post about how its a romantic and not a buddy story according to literary guidelines).

Their story is like so many rom-com, shakespearean and classical for that matter love/mythical stories where they start out on opposite sides and kind of meet in the middle you know? The idea being that they ‘complete’ each other and lead themselves to be the best that they can be and who they really are and want to be deep down? As these two clearly do?!

I’ve said before and I’ll say again, Dean and Cas are canonically central to each other’s CORE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT and their endgames are INTERLINKED.

Originally posted by sooper-dee-dooper-natural

I mean, if this was a guy and a girl and it was a movie, so all the story was shown in 1h30 minutes and at the end they were like oh, no, but you see, they’re just FRIENDS. Literally everyone would just be like WHAT?!

The fact that Disney movies and romcoms are so highly parallel-able with Destiel, because it fits that literary box - as a romance, not a buddy story or a drama or even a familial story, it does up to a point, but it definitely transcends this and moves into romance realms pretty early on, like, season 5 FFS.

It’s not our fault, the show made us do it.

If fandom wank is a problem for you, well, I don’t like it either, I guess no one does apart from the ones instigating it who seem to get a high off it, I just blacklist on tumblr and I don’t attend cons, so… meh, I have this gorgeous little space where we all know and all discuss what is happening and it is lovely, feel free to join us :)

What's My Name

This is a continuation of “Don’t Call Me That”. Hope you like it! LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

-X-

Originally posted by harryisart


The atmosphere in the little shower cubicle was almost suffocating, the sexual tension between you and Harry occupying most of the space and apparently consuming most of the air. He pressed himself even more close to you, if that was possible, his whole front flat against yours as you could feel his leaking cock against your thigh all wet and drippy almost as much as you were.


He leaned in his breath fanning against your ear as his hand brushed your hair off your face, the soft puffs of air from his mouth leaving goosebumps on your skin in their wake. 

“Why don't​ you go and lie down on your back on the bed for me darling? Alex has something to get before he joins you, okay?” 

He looks at you on a way that you understand what he said was not a suggestion or a question by any chance but an order. It was quite an occurrence in your relationship where Harry controlled the pace of your sexual encounters, being the more dominant one. 

You looked at him all doe eyes with your bottom lip tucked behind your teeth as you gave him a nod before walking off to do what he had asked of you. If there was one thing that turned you on more than Harry calling himself daddy, it was him referring to himself in third person when he’s in a dominant mood. 

He finds himself browsing through the array of silk ties he owned most of which you had bought for him on various special occasions, sometimes cos you just wanted to, when he walks into the closet. He can hear the rustling of the sheets signalling that you obeyed his orders were not in a defiant mood tonight which honestly​ made him quite happy because defiance means denying himself and you the pleasure of indulging in each others’ pleasure and he didn’t think he’d like that tonight. He is definitely not in the mood of forgoing the chance to pleasure himself and soaking in all the warmth and slickness your pretty cunt had to offer. He finally picks a red coloured silk tie before wrapping it around his four fingers as he walks back into the bedroom still completely naked, his cock now more erect than it had ever been and he’s bursting at the seams for an orgasm.

 “ Oh baby girl, you’re so ready for me aren’t you? All warm and wet? You’re soaking onto the sheets darling, I’d rather you soak my cock than anything.” 

You look at him with innocence in your eyes than he knows better than to believe, it’s deceiving. You give a meek nod, all cognition of words and sentences escaping your brain in this pleasure clouded state that Harry has you in. 

“Use your words darling. Don’t want to get punished tonight, do we?” 

“N-no Harry, please don’t.“ 

He sighed before grabbing your chin with his hand, “Now sweetheart, what did I ask you to call me? It’s not my name that you just used, is it?” 

“No it’s not.” 

“No what? Tell me my name.” 

“No.. no Al-Alex.” 

“Good girl. I knew you were my good girl. My best girl. Now I’m gonna tie this around your wrist okay? And I want you to behave. I’m not going to spank you or anything. Just going to tie you up, alright?” 

Knowing better than to just use your gestures this time, you give a nod before repeating an affirmation along with his “name”. He ties up your hands to the bed post giving it a quick tug to check their tightness and asking you if they hurt much, which you assure him they don’t. 

“Alex is gonna take care of you, okay? Gonna fuck yeh real good. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” 

He slowly slides his length up and down your slit collecting all the wetness that had pooled in the time that you had to wait for him to fuck you like you know he could. You sigh at the little jolts of pleasure coursing through your body, your hole already clenching all the possibilities of what could happen. He slowly thrusts into your pussy both of you sighing at the jolts of relief coursing through your bodies of finally attaining the feeling you’ve denied yourselves for a while. His hips move against yours in smooth calculated thrusts, your lower half arched off the mattress for him to reach deeper in you, the sounds of his skin slapping against yours along with his shafts sliding into your soaking hole filling the room.

 You feel his face pull back from the crook of your neck where he’s been sponging wet kisses and licking and sucking the taut skin all smooth and very inviting for him. His eyes are closed, lips slightly parted with brows furrowed together at the tight knot that it steadily growing in his stomach, causing the skin to clench and his thrusts to switch to a rhythm less pace. You press your lips to his berry red ones, tongue sliding against his bottom lip as his mouth encloses around yours moving a slow motion that opposed his hips, your teeth biting into his plush lower lip as he lets out a groan that could only be described as fucked out. 

“Oh my god.. Alex baby that feels so good. Just like that. You’re doing so well”, you moan when you feel his head nestled against your G-spot constantly stroking it in an unsteady pace. You could feel your stomach start to clench as your vision blackened, your back arching off the bed, chest meeting his front as your sensitive and puffed up nipples rub against his skin. His hand slide behind your back knowing you cannot keep up longer, the silk tie straining against your wrists that were tied to the bed post. 

“Christ yeh feel so good darling. All tight and warm for Alex, aren’t you? My best girl loves to please me so much.” His hand that isn’t wrapped around you reaches down for him to thumb at your clothes, breath stuttering as the high you would take some time starting coming closer and closer. He can feel your pussy clenching around his length, the tight fit bringing him closer to his edge. 

 "Gonna cum for me, aren’t you baby girl? Be a good girl and cum all over my cock. I know you can do it.“ His thumb increasing it’s swiping against your nub as you get closer and closer to the edge, your breath stuttering as you gasp for air, eyes closed bad your mouth open as moans are let out. The ties hurt against your wrist but you don’t feel a thing or at least don’t care in that moment as you can feel “Alex” release ropes of cum inside your tight cunt before falling against your chest, your back hitting the mattress again with a soft “thud”. 

The room feels suffocating as the smell of sex, his cologne and your shampoo cloud the atmosphere. Harry’s eyes are closed as his lets out soft puffs of air against your breasts, his arms wrapped tightly around your middle.

 "Harry?“ You tread the waters lightly testing to see if he’s out of the mood you had set for yourselves during the course of the evening. 

 "Yes, love?" 

"Can you untie me? My wrists hurt a little. I think I pulled too hard.”

 He lifts his head from your chest shuffling to remove the knots and tossing them aside before grabbing your wrists giving them soft kisses as his eyes bore into yours, the jade irises shining with love for you. 

“Can I ask you a question?” He utters with a glint in his eye that lets you know that it’s nowhere near innocent and is probably either a sexual innuendo or something filthy​. 

“Sure what is it?”

“Was this better than the wet dream you had of me?” He giggled at your wide eyed expression, clearly taken aback by his question. 

“Harry!”

-X-

I hope you liked it! I had loads of fun writing it! Thank you to @oh-styles and @trulymadlysydney for being my vent buddies, love you both! Much love to all of you for the support you’ve shown me. Means the world,xx!

Matchmaker - Cody Christian AU Imagine

Warnings:SMUT,swearing,daddy kink,jealous Cody,ass slapping,hand tying,m+f oral,fake tweet,fluff.

A/N: Enjoy xx and Happy Valentines Day or as I like to call it “Another thing to remind me i’m Single AF” 

y/n; your name

y/u/n; your username

MASTERLIST


Lisa: Hi guys were back on Clevver Tv’s Valentines day special with the cast of Teen Wolf * Lisa smiled*

Lisa: So Cody our sources yell us you’re off the market and have been for some time now, is that true?

Keep reading

"why don't you like frozen?"
  • what i mean: It's a film that, essentially suffers from an existential crisis throughout the entire two hours it runs. There's no world building whatsoever, leaving too many unanswered questions the audience in regards to the magic and lore of the land. It's inferred the trolls know everything there is to know about magic, but it does not explain how Elsa recieved her powers in the first place, leaving a pretty big unanswered question. Also, the decision to take a fantasy race usually isolated from magicks as the main sage magicians was an ...interesting choice, and would have worked out a bit better if the world was built up more. The plot is all over the place, with there being no clear antagonist until the final arc of the movie. Is the Duke of Weaselton supposed to be the antagonist? No, and he honestly doesn't even belong in the movie: in what way does this character move forward the plot? He doesn't, so why is he given such emphasis? Is Elsa supposed to be the antagonist? Through the film the audience is constantly being given conflicting views as to whether or not we are supposed to sympathsize with her or hate her, and we're never given our answer until the final arc of the movie, which is, ironically, when the real antagonist show his face: Hans. Since he is introduced as he antagonist in the final arc, it makes Hans' development as a villain feel rushed and unnatural. Such a sudden heel-face turn from charming benevolent prince to cold-blooded killer feels wrong, and considering there was no foreshadowing or dramatic irony leading up the reveal, it comes as a shock to even the most watchful moviegoers. Beyond the shock response, there is no reason for the audience to hate Hans, making him an ineffective villain all in all. The audience only hates him because he betrayed the trust that was willingly given in the first half of the film. Yes, he wants to usurp the throne and kill everyone off, but wouldn't that incentive be more effective if it were presented as such from the beginning of the movie? Give the viewers hints and clues that he is not what he seems, making the reveal of his plan much more suspenseful. Additionally, if it were addressed from the beginning, a large amount of the aimless plotless wandering that plagued most of the first three-quarters of the movie would be practically non-existant. In addition, the shock factor response wears off eventually; the impact of his betrayal means less and less to the audience each time they watch it. Part of the reason of the weakness and confusion in the beginning also stems from the fact that the movie is trying to juggle too many characters. Many named characters are completely unneeded and did not need to steal screentime (and by extension, valuble character development) from the main characters (Anna, Elsa, Kristoff, and I guess Hans). And the lack of character development is bad. Really bad. Anna doesn't feel like a real person, even by Disney standards. Elsa is a bit more believable, but her "development" is rushed and inferred instead of shown to the audience as it should be. Why was there such an emphasis on the parents in the beginning if they were only going to be killed off for plot fuel? And as an audience member, I did not feel any sadness for their death or for how Anna and Elsa were grieving. Having Elsa locked in her room for upmost of ten years was just...weird. There was absolutely nothing that justified it, making the isolation feel like a cheap way out for the writers to transition from childhood to adulthood. And beyond that, Arendelle is shown to be a peaceful kingdom, so it makes no sense that Anna would not be allowed to leave the castle and walk amongst the city. If magic exists in this world, why was Elsa locked away? Why was it a secret? All of these questions stem from weak worldbuilding that justifies very little of the events of the movie. There are so many unanswered questions that rise up from what happens inbetween childhood and adulthood. Is there a puppet monarch? Was magic seen as something negative or unknown? Why the trolls. Why the trolls. I'm sorry I just do not understand the trolls. The romantic subplot again ties into making the trolls feel even more forced and unneeded and the Hans reveal stale, I don't need to go into this. From a technically standpoint, the animation is subpar compared to its contempararies. Rise of the Guardians, a movie made a year before Frozen, had better ice effects. The particle effects and textures were nothing to write home about and the numerous clipping issues are clear evidence that the final product was rushed. The character design is the biggest complaint everyone has heard the most, but, Jesus Christ, oh my god it's bad. There's virtually no variation in character design. The facial structure of all the women are practically identical. Elsa, Anna, their mother, even Rapunzel all look 100% identical. Perhaps that wouldn't be such a problem if their body types were the same as well. There's no power of silouette in the film, something that is absolutely crucial to animated film, making Anna and Elsa blend together not only in the film, but in the industry itself. They do not stand out. They are blank and bland. The music is the only good thing, and that's only considering some songs. "Let it Go" and "First Time in Forever" are strong, powerhouse showtunes that actually move the plot forward, as songs in a musical should, but "Fixer-Upper" and "Love is an Open Door," while good, solid songs, do relatively nothing for the plot can could be omitted without sacrificing anything. "In Summer" is a total joke song that literally fades into nothing--I could not recall the tune if I tried, and "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?" has a lot of potential but is, esentially, the same chorus repeated with little to no transition three times. It doesn't help that the song is also the most awkward contrived timeskip in the history of awkward contrived timeskips, again because it is never explained why Elsa is locked in her room at all. And the trolls and the--oh god. Please, all artists and writers, do NOT overlook the importance of worldbuilding. Even the dialogue is mediocre and does nothing to immerse the characters into the world around them. The resulting product is nothing but two hours of mediocrity masquerading as the best film of the decade in commercialization and ticket sales, but ultimately does nothing but leave a bad taste in the audience's mouth and will encourage Disney to continue making mediocre movies because they know they will sell and sell well.
  • what i say: because it's a bad movie

anonymous asked:

Headcannon where MC refuse to answer any phonecalls or talk to RFA+V+Saeran because she has toothache and don't want to tell them because she had been warned not to eat too much sweets by them. But the gang misunderstood, thinking that MC ignoring them or mad at them??

WELL, HERE’S AN ACTUAL POST =^=

I didn’t do Jaehee because I think she’d be really calm and understanding, and wait patiently until you eventually tell her—although she’d still be slightly nervous for the entire time until you revealed the truth. 

Same with V (especially V, he would probably just quietly blame himself until your toothache gets better so you can tell him…)

But here you go~!

–R.I.

Yoosung

  • You’d already been ignoring him all day
  • Usually you’d cheerfully reply to him as soon as he sent the messages
  • He was beginning to worry if he had done something wrong
  • After all… he had lied to you about not playing LOLOL last night, in exchange that you wouldn’t eat sweets…
  • Oh no. Maybe you found out about his lie.
  • He left hundreds, woah, wait it just became thousands, of voicemails on your phone
  • “MC!! I DIDN’T MEAN TO, I SWEAR! PLEASE DON’T HATE ME!”
  • “I WON’T EVER LIE AGAIN, JUST DON’T IGNORE ME…”
  • “Why won’t you return my calls >_<”
  • “MC… I’ll give up LOLOL if you would just talk to me!”
  • “Please… I’m sorry for breaking my promise….”
  • As his voicemails blasted from your phone one after the other, you felt more and more clueless—what in the world was he talking about?
  • Seriously, what crime had he committed to apologize so intensely? Your phone had been vibrating the entire f*cking morning.
  • When your phone rang AGAIN, you picked it up
  • “DAMMIT Yoosung, SHUT UP ALREADY!! It’s not my fault if you committed a crime! Don’t drag me into this!”
  • You hung up angrily, glaring at your phone as you rubbed on the outside of your poor, poor toothache.
  • Meanwhile:
  • Yoosung was tearing up from your phone call. S-she considers it a crime…? NOOOOOO!!
  • “I’LL NEVER LIE AGAIIIIIIN!!!” he bawled
  • And the misunderstandings only continued to grow.
  • (But your tooth felt better!!)

Zen

  • “Baaaabe… why won’t you talk to me?”
  • You’d cancelled out on a date, and you hadn’t talked to him the entire day PLUS you hadn’t answered his nightly phone calls—it was a TRADITION between the two of you, TRADITION!!
  • Now Zen was at your door, half sobbing as you refused to let him inside the apartment.
  • You were suffering from a toothache, and you really really didn’t want to talk to him right now
  • He’d even been telling you yesterday, “Babe, I know you love sweets but it’s not good to eat too many! If you really need something sweet… you can have me, instead!”
  • …to which you pushed him aside and took another cookie from behind him.
  • Zen’s knocking persisted, “I know you’re in there! Please come out? We can talk about it… Was it a fake scandal or something? You know I only love you… It must be a misunderstanding, let’s talk, okay?”
  • He was starting to sound desperate, and you almost felt sorry for him… BUT.
  • Yes, BUT, your pride still won over your sympathy. There was no way you were going to let him know that he had been right, that you shouldn’t have eaten so many sweets.
  • His knocking suddenly stopped when another door slammed open- probably your neighbour’s.
  • The familiar old lady’s voice shouted, “STOP KNOCKING AT THE DOOR, YOUNG MAN! IF YER CHEATING AND UNFAITHFUL, IT’S YER OWN DAMN FAULT, EH, PRETTY BOY? LEAVE ‘ER ALONE AND STOP YER WHININ’!”
  • You could almost hear Zen’s jaw drop to the ground
  • He would never cheat on you.
  • “What the- no stop, don’t touch me!” Zen shrieked.
  • The old lady’s voice came again, “Oh my, come to think of it, you’re actually quite handsome… Well, since you’re a naughty, unfaithful lad anyway, why don’t you come with me?”
  • “NO! STOP! MC!!!! SAVE ME, PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR”
  • “MC?! GOD SEVEN? HELL, EVEN JUMIN HAN!! I’ll forgive you for everything, even your inability to see my beauty, just please save me…”
  • Screams of agony filled the apartment building.

Jumin

  • “MC. Don’t eat all the sweets at once, you’ll get a toothache, okay?” he said calmly as he gifted you a box of assorted candy.
  • That had been what he told you last night, to which you had carelessly nodded to without really paying attention. You really regretted not listening to him now—but there was no way you would let him have the satisfaction of being right.
  • You proceeded to lock yourself in the room for the day so you wouldn’t have to face him. When he called you to say he’d be coming home from work soon, you only hummed a short reply. “Mhm…”
  • Concerned by your short, seemingly distant reply, he arrived home almost immediately after the call.
  • In swift, long strides, he’s walked to the door of your bedroom, knocking every now and then.
  • “MC..? Are you feeling sick?” Knock knock.
  • “Should I call a doctor?” Knock knock knock.
  • “Do you need Elizabeth the 3rd?” Knock knock.
  • “I’m sorry for hogging her last night. I promise to share her wonderful embodiment of fur with you the next time.” Knock.
  • “Or are you, perhaps, hungry…? Oh. Could it be your time of the month? I have heard women tend to be grumpy and irritabl-“
  • You swung open the door, glaring at him. “Hmph!” you grunted, refusing to open your mouth to reply.
  • He stared.
  • And stared.
  • …and stared.
  • “PFFT!” then he burst out laughing. “GYAHAHAHAH—you! You look! HAHAHAHH!!”
  • What the- who died and replaced the serious, dull Jumin Han with this out of character laughing freak??
  • Seriously, this guy’s sense of humour was whack.

Seven

  • The number that you are trying to reach is not available right now. Please call again later.
  • The number that you are trying to reach-
  • The number that you-
  • The nu-
  • Beeeeep, beeeep, beeeep, beeep…
  • All seven of Seven’s phones couldn’t get in contact with you right now.
  • He knew that you were home—the GPS on your phone showed it! And you hadn’t left your house today either, according to his security cameras. (Stalker alert lololol)
  • Instead of trying to bother you more, he began to sulk in the corner of his dark, dark room.
  • I don’t deserve her.
  • She probably hates me now.
  • Mushrooms were growing on top of his head as each thought made him more and more depressed.
  • It’s no wonder… I didn’t share the last Honey Buddha Chips with her yesterday…
  • MC -
  • His phone suddenly rang, showing your caller ID.
  • “MC?!” he exclaimed excitedly.
  • Seeeveeeen… I can’t take it anymore!” your muffled voice came through the speaker. “My tooth… It hurts too much!! I’m sorry I ate all your boxes of Honey Buddha Chips… Ugghh…”
  • WHAT!?!
  • “WHAT DID YOU SAY?” he shouted, eyes widening in horror.
  • No. NO. That can’t be!
  • Seven fainted.

Saeran

  • Poke. Poke. Poke.
  • He snickered as he poked against your cheek, knowing that you were biting back tears from your painful toothaches.
  • “Grrr,” you growled at him angrily, narrowing your eyes as you pouted.
  • Say it. Tell me I was right. I waaarned you what would happen if you ate too much candy, didn’t I?” he sighed in mock pity.
  • You shook your head furiously, stubbornly refusing.
  • “MC~ I won’t give you the numbing medicine if you don’t say it~” he teased, grinning.
  • You let out a whiny whimper from your throat, giving him your best puppy look face, trying to look pitiful. Instead, this lil asshole only laughed at you.
  • Still, you kept your mouth shut.
  • “Tsk, fine, be that way,” he sighed dramatically, an amused glint in his eyes.
  • But you actually did continue to ignore him, for the entire day. He began to worry if you were really mad at him, and he poked his head into your room to check up on you quietly, not wanting to say anything that could upset you. (It was so cute, awwh)
  • Truthfully, your toothache was even worse now, and you didn’t even have the motivation to let him know that you weren’t mad.
  • So when you woke up the next morning, you found breakfast and ice cream on your table, with a little note next to it.
  • I’m sorry about yesterday, will you forgive me?’
  • Awwww, Saeran~!!

anonymous asked:

Hey Mun, I got a quick question for ya, but please don't think of it like I'm attackin you or anything~! What kind of asks do you refuse to answer? Are there any topics or questions that are in general kinda stupid and you don't want your chars answering them? Or things you don't want to hear period? I'm asking cos I don't wanna send asks that;ll make ya uncomfortable or less motivated or whateva. u prob get many asks /day and a repeat of the same stuff is not all that good in certain context

Oh my whole hearted goodness, this’s a damn tasty question!! Thanks so much for asking!

Only a TEENSIE WEENSIE bit of things don’t agree with me. The tastebuds in my head & heart aren’t picky, so no pressure my dude! Asking should feel lemon squeezy.

BUTT the few things that I can’t digest are when people take this blog or its characters too seriously.
Believe it or not, Ripley- I get a lotta peeps who’ll try to get on Sanzu’s good side by comin in here with some heavy, heavy luggage (like, say, “my grandmother just died”) and using that to appease him. (”You can have her body” for example.) It happens a hell of a lot, and it’s totally uncool to say I’m not exaggerating in the slightest.
Please don’t use your super real personal tragedies as an olive branch to these super not-real characters, that’s not gravy.

Secondly, when y’all precious babes shoot me asks sayin you feel ignored or unheard bc my fellas haven’t answered yet, it rubs me the wrong way. Normally it wouldn’t, I’d understand! But I’ve had Drebae show off how incredibly full the inbox is several, several times, so those “I feel ignored” asks read more like “hey, Special👏 treatment👏 over👏 here👏 puh-leEEEZUH.👏” Like ya don’t care about the hundreds of thousands of other people goin’ unanswered bc I’m only half robot on my dad’s side & I didn’t get the genetic coding that allows me to answer everyone at the speed of light.

🎶 LLLLASTLY BUT NOT LEASTLYYY~! 🎶 This kinda refers back to the first whine I muttered about personal stuff, but I’m also not quite comfortable with people using their personal disabilities/situations as an introduction? I’m prayin to whatever god cares enough that y’all understand where I’m coming from here, because I do NOT want you guys to think you should stay quiet about your problems, but like I said– I just don’t like how serious some peeps are treating this blog! 
I’ve gotten people who are suicidal, people talking about their panic attacks as it’s happening, people talkin about family deaths and all this horrible stuff as if some comic-book characters on tumblr are the go-to instead of 911, and that shit’s scary, bro. Just, why? whyyyyyy, buddy??

Again again again! Have respect for yourself and your loved ones, don’t use personal tragedy as an ice breaker or a line to go fishing with. If you’re having serious problems, get professional help. (There are plenty of places to go or people to contact in case of a crisis, like I’mAlive.org or 7 cups! )


Phew, thanks for lending me your earballs- but damn if that ain’t a finger-lickin’ good question you asked.
Before I smother my typing fingers and put an end to this novel of a post, I just wanna clarify that ye, I DO get a lot of these kind of asks, but that isn’t what makes up my ask box. 90% of you babes have awesome, kind-hearted, interesting, wicked tasty, soul-thirsty things to say and ask and I cherish all you babies in the deepest chambers of my heart.

Bilingual Klance be like
  • (Lance and Hunk sitting down in the lounge room)
  • Lance: OK, but Hunk- mi amigo-
  • Hunk: Yes?
  • Lance: I just don't understand it! How can Keith be so-
  • Hunk: Lance!
  • Hunk (points to Keith walking into the room):
  • Keith:
  • Lance: Dios mío
  • *Oh my God*
  • Keith: Lance:¡Hunk, sólo míralo!... ¡Mira!¡Él es absolutamente hermoso! ¿Cómo puede ser tan caliente? Dios mío...
  • *Hunk, just look at him! Look! He is absolutely beautiful! How can someone be so hot? My God...*
  • Lance(puts face in his hands): Lo quiero tanto...
  • *I want him so much*
  • Hunk (didn't understand a single word, but got the jest and pats Lance's back): Y-yeah... sure thing buddy
  • Keith:
  • Keith (walks up behind Lance and kisses his neck): Te quiero, tambien... embeleso.
  • *I want you too... sweetheart.*
  • Keith (walking away): Hasta luego, mi amor.
  • *See you later, my love*
  • Lance (blushes furiously):
  • Hunk: What did he say?
  • Lance: N-nada... I mean...
  • Lance (immediately leaves the room): NoThINg!!
  • -I'm sorry if my Español is a little rusty lol... I only learned it through the school system for five years... if I said anything incorrectly please let me know-

I would like to dedicate this one to the fantastic @talortut cause she’s always listening to my nonsense.

“You missed my fucking presentation. You promised you’d be there and you missed it. What the hell was so important that you couldn’t be there for me?”

—–

Standing in front of a large group of people, talking, was never an easy task for Keith. His boyfriend knew about this, and when Keith had his career on the line, Lance had offered to help. He even volunteered to be in it. But when Lance was nowhere to be found, Keith’s opportunities were flushed down the drain as the investors walked out of the door.

The drive to Lance’s apartment was quiet and seemed to take forever. Each moment his blood boiled more and more, and by the time he reached his destination, he was fuming.

Keith fumbled with the keys and jammed it into the keyhole. He swung the door open and felt no remorse when it slammed against the wall. The apartment was silent, and Keith wondered if Lance was even home. But that was definitely Lance’s jacket on the couch and he never left home without it. Keith stormed into the bedroom, and found Lance sleeping curled up in his blankets. If Keith wasn’t ready to rip his head off he’d probably find it adorable how his boyfriend was nothing more than a Lance burrito. But Keith was seeing red.

In a rage of fury Keith ripped the blankets off the sleeping boy. Unraveling the blankets caused Lance to ungraciously fall onto the floor with an “oomph” leaving him. Lance groaned as he started to sit up, hand clutching his head to try and make the pounding stop.

“Lance for the love of god wake the fuck up!” Keith all but shrieked.

Lance’s eyes went wide as his head snapped up. Keith and Lance argued sure, but Keith had never yelled at him like that.

“W-What? Keith?” Lance stuttered out.

Lance’s world was spinning and the last thing he needed right now was a yelling Keith.

“You missed my fucking presentation. You promised you’d be there and you missed it. What the hell was so important that you couldn’t be there for me?” If Keith were a cryer, he’d probably be crying right about now with how emotional he felt.

“What? No the… the presentation is tomorrow morning. I. I had enough time to sleep after my paperwork was done.” Lance was confused. Two nights after he got home from Keith’s when they had finished up all the preparations for the presentation Keith had to give, he had started his paperwork for the start of the next quarter next week. At some point he climbed into bed, ready to sleep till noon and then get the rest of the paperwork done. But when he looked at the clock, it was well past noon.

“Oh I must have overslept” Lance mumbled out. Were they supposed to do more preparations?

“The fuck do you mean you overslept?! This was important Lance!”

Lance was taken aback by the tone. His head was pounding more with Keith yelling at him.

“Keith please I do-” Lance tries but was cut off.

“Lance I just lost my promotion because of you. You were supposed to be there for me! But you just fucking ‘overslept.’ I was counting on you! And you just let me down again!”

This was too much. Lance couldn’t even comprehend what Keith was saying and the volume was so loud that his ears were ringing while his world was spinning. Tears welled in his eyes. “I don’t understand Keith. Why are you so angry?” Lance sobbed out as he rubbed his wrist to his eyes to stop the tears from sliding down his face.

But Keith kept going.

“What do you mean ‘why am I so angry?’ Have you not been listening to me at all Lance?”

“I-I can’t” Lance sobbed out. He went to stand, but his legs gave out the moment he put weight on them and fell forward. Keith on instinct caught Lance and held him up under his armpits.

“Lance?” All the anger Keith had in him dissipated and turned to concern when he could feel the heat radiating off of Lance through his jacket.
Keith slowly settled Lance to sit on the bed and when he pulled away he finally took a good look at him.

He was pale, dark circles under his eyes, and now his eyes were red from crying. Keith’s heart broke, realizing what he just did. He just yelled and berated his clearly sick and delirious boyfriend.

“Lance, oh fuck. I’m so sorry” Keith pleaded. He placed the back of his hand against Lance’s forehead to feel for his temperature, but he flinched away from the touch and let out a whimper. Lance was crying again.

“Oh Lance.” Keith said softly as he brushed his thumbs over the others wet cheeks. “I’m so sorry Lance. Baby please don’t cry. I promise I’ll take care of you.” Keith said as he brushed Lance’s bangs out of his face and continued to stroke his hair.

Once Lance has calmed down and less out of it they are definitely going to have to talk.

At Peace

Originally posted by solo-harry

Request: 

Prompt: “Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.”

Pairing: Alex x Reader

**Okay I’m not sure how great this will be because I never really write war stories, but I hope it lives up to your expectations! Also, thank you for giving me my first request!

Keep reading

there's a new app or something
  • Girl: Did you get the new app?
  • Boy: What app?
  • Girl: The new app, stupid.
  • Boy: What does it do?
  • Girl: It's new! Check it out. *fires up app*
  • New App: *in a fresh and cool voice* Welcome to the new app.
  • Boy: I still don't understand what it does.
  • Girl: You can press this button here and it checks for the latest version of the new app. Watch. *boop*
  • New App: Boop received. There are ZERO new updates.
  • Girl: Isn't it cool?
  • Boy: I'm really not into it.
  • Girl: C'mon. You have to be. Everyone's using it.
  • Boy: I'm not really into the same things everyone else is.
  • Girl: You're always such a hispter, but that's your choice.
  • Boy: Yeah, it's my choice and I'm proud of it.
  • *later, elsewhere*
  • Group of People: Wow, the new app rules, right? I love it. I like booping it to see if there's any new updates. We should all boop it now. No, I think we should wait. You're stupid. Yeah, let's all boop it forget the other guy. *boopboopboopboopboopboop*
  • New App: Bbbooooppppp rreeecciiieeeevvvveeedddd. Ooonneeeeee nnnnnneewwww uuuuppppdddaaaattttteeeeeee aaaaavvvvvvvaaaillllllabbbbbl-
  • Boy: *watching from afar* What a bunch of sheep. How can they get excited over a stupid app that does nothing. It's mob mentality if I've ever seen it. One person downloads a useless app, so everyone else has to. Thank god that I'm appless and entirely free from banal social dogma.
  • New App: New update has finished downloading. Activating new feature, outcast locater. One outcast located directly to the south of your group. He's watching from the alleyway.
  • Boy: Huh?
  • Group of People: *rush over the alleyway* Whoa, there really was a guy watching us from the alleyway! What a weirdo! Does he really not have the app? No one doesn't have the app, it's the newest app. Hey, do you not have the app?
  • Boy: I have to go.
  • Group of People: Don't go! Why don't you have the app? Actually, fuck off if you don't have the new app, freak!
  • Boy: *runs away* Why did they all gang up on me like? *stomach growls* Now I'm hungry after running like that. I best go to that sandwich shop over yonder and eat a... hmmm sandwich.
  • Cashier: Hello, sweetie. What kind of sandwich can I get you today?
  • Boy: Just a bread sandwich. Like, a sandwich with three slices of bread and meats, vegetables, cheeses, or condiments.
  • Cashier: *phone vibrates* Hold on, sweetie. The new app is booping me, there might be a new update.
  • New App: Hey, do you see the kid standing in front of you?
  • Cashier: You mean that very cute boy?
  • New App: Yes, him. He doesn't have the new app.
  • Cashier: What!?
  • New App: It's true.
  • Cashier: You have the new app, don't you?
  • Boy: Well, no.
  • Janitor: *stops mopping the floor* That's kind of weird.
  • Cashier: It's actually very weird.
  • Boy: I don't understand what the big deal is, it's just a dumb app.
  • Cashier: It's not dumb, everyone's using it!
  • Janitor: *locks the doors* It's suspicious that you're not using it, son. Why don't you take a seat and wait here for a moment.
  • Cashier: Yeah, me an my colleague, the janitor, have to talk. Your sandwich will be out in a moment.
  • Boy: *nervously sits*
  • *the janitor and cashier huddle behind the counter and whisper to each other*
  • Boy: *internally* This is ridiculous. Why is this stupid app getting me into so much trouble. I'm not required to download it. It's just an app. So why is everyone getting so aggressive about it.
  • Cops: *knock at the door*
  • Janitor: *lets them in* Welcome officers.
  • Cops: So we hear that someone isn't using the new app, eh?
  • Janitor: Yes officer, he's sitting right over there. He's terrible! TERRIBLE!
  • Cops: Calm down, sir. We'll take care of this. *walks over to the boy, very authoritatively* Hello, son. Now, don't be intimidated just because we're cops and all. We simply want to know why you aren't using the new app.
  • Boy: I don't know, I just don't feel like using it.
  • Cops: But you realize it's the most innovative app to be released in the past decade. It was developed by Darkheart Studios, and you know those Darkhearts always make good stuff.
  • Boy: I just don't get why I have to download it. Like, what's the big deal? All it does is update itself.
  • *cops look at each other puzzled*
  • Cops: *phone vibrates* Oh, looks like the app has something to tell us. Lemme just give it a boop. *boop*
  • New App: Boop received. New has update finished downloading. Activating new feature, extermination of the sacrilegious. Kill the boy, officers. End his miserable life.
  • Cops: Are you telling us to shoot the boy because he hasn't downloaded the app.
  • New App: Not necessarily, but any means of extermination is sufficient.
  • Cops: I don't think we should kill the boy. The new app is great an all, but not worth killing over. In fact, it's getting kind of old. I think we should take the boy down to the station for safe keeping while we figure out what's going with this here bizarre app. Hey there, little guy... oh.
  • Boy: *gone*
  • Cops: He's gone. Now where did he run off too?
  • Boy: *runs panicked down the street, the cellphone of every single person vibrating and ringing as he passes them*
  • Boy: *runs into his house and locks himself in his bedroom* What did I do to deserve this? I should just download the app and spare myself this hell. No! I refuse, I won't fall in with trends like all the sheeple. I'm special. I'm different.
  • Sister: *knocks at the boy's bedroom door, clutching a knife behind her back* Little brother, open up. I have to talk to you about something. It's important.
  • Boy: I don't feel like talking, leave me alone.
  • Sister: Come on, I'm your sister. You can trust me, open up. *tries to force the door open* Open the fucking door!
  • Boy: You're acting crazy, leave me alone!
  • Sister: Fine. *stomps off*
  • Boy: *hides under his blankets*
  • *a cacophony of cellphone notification sounds come from outside of the bedroom window*
  • Boy: *sheepishly peaks out the window, his blanket still wrapped around him*
  • *a mob of people, some armed with weapons stand in his backyard*
  • Leader of the Mob: Kid, we all know you didn't download the new app. Unfortunately, the app says we gotta kill you unless you do. I personally think that's unreasonable, but it is the new app after all, and who am I to question it?
  • Boy: Fuck your stupid app! It doesn't even do anything!
  • Leader of the Mob: What a bad attitude. It's the new sensation.
  • Boy: You're sheep!! You're all stupid sheep!! I'm never downloading the stupid fucking app!!
  • Leader of the Mob: Then we have to burn down your house, kid.
  • Boy: My dad is super rich and influential. If you burn down my house, he'll have you guys taken care of.
  • Dad: *from the mob* I actually support them, son. It's disconcerting to me as a father that you don't have the new app when everyone else does. I could support your through anything, but not this.
  • Boy: Wha- dad!? Argh! Just burn the house! I don't care! I'm not afraid to die!! At the end of the day, I'll be a martyr and you'll all still be fucking nobodies!!
  • Leader of the Mob: Whatever ya say, kid. *tosses torch at the house*
  • *the rest of the mob follows and the house quickly goes up in flames*
  • Boy: I guess this is it. This is how I die. All over a dumb app that doesn't do anything but boop.
  • *flames reach the bedroom window*
  • Boy: Oh god, oh god, oh god! I've changed my mind! I don't want to die!! *frantically pulls out his phone as the flames grow and downloads the new app*
  • New App: *boop* Thank you for downloading the new app, boy. Now, you've been forgiven. You may live. Please be sure to boop me to check for updates.
  • Boy: I feel so fucking stupid, but at least I'll live. I just have to get out of here.
  • Boy: *rushes into the hallway, but the flames have engulfed the entire house*
  • *the ceiling collapses, trapping the boy in the hallway and ceiling any exits*
  • Boy: No! Someone help me! *coughs* I'm sorry! Please help! I downloaded the app!
  • Boy: *curls up in fetal position* I don't want to die. Fire fighters will come and save me or something like that, I'm sure of it! I'm so scared! I don't want to die! I don't want to die! It can't end like this!
  • *The End*
Matthew Daddario Quotes
  • "We call our shoes ‘sneakers,’ right? But they're not really sneaking."
  • "Can't wait till they invent phones with keyboards."
  • "I don't know this guy. He came to hang out so I complimented his hair."
  • "How many artichokes can you eat in one sitting?"
  • "No, go back to my idea!"
  • "Maybe, they'll throw the books out. Just not follow the books anymore."
  • "Hey guys did everyone floss today? You gotta floss every day. Otherwise, your dentist makes you feel bad."
  • "I play piano but I won't call it a talent."
  • "I'm the funniest person in the cast and that's simply because everybody else is so painfully unfunny."
  • "There is literally no memory left in my phone. I took fourteen thousand blue sky photos and I need all of them."
  • "Send him photos of fried chicken and crab cakes."
  • "I have a dentist appt tomorrow. I'm not gonna brush my teeth tonight. Also not going to shower. This is going to be painful for everyone."
  • "You are not trash, you are lovely!"
  • "Don't sign contracts in your blood. It's usually not required by any reputable party."
  • "He's slippin' out his little tongue eating snail treats off the ground."
  • "I will eat anywhere in the house. I'll eat cheese crackers in bed!"
  • "He looks down and sees this wonderful man. He hops down there and smooches that man right on the face. Right in front of everyone."
  • "...it's not fair that he is more handsome than me!!!"
  • "Don't do the hokey pokey around witches."
  • "They're never gonna release the deleted scenes to you guys because they're racy and inappropriate."
  • "This video is going on social media!"
  • "I'm ashamed to admit I lied about the selfies. The phone is 98% cow pictures and I can't delete them. I need a new phone. Forgive me."
  • "Thank god I started sandpapering my feet when I was four."
  • "Is Alec appreciating at an increased rate because of an increase in demand? Or is it the same rate as before."
  • "Note, some alpaca do not appreciate head pats."
  • "If humans lived in barns, we'd be smelly, too."
  • "Had to delete all my cow photos to make room for selfies, so I will say 'I appreciate you, cows.'"
  • "Wow. It's spelled Gollum. Wow. So disappointed. Hiding my own cell phone for the next two weeks."
  • "You're a little kitty cat. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy kitty cat, kitty cat."
  • "Sometimes when I travel between dimensions, I think, man, I should really buy a sailboat."
  • "If I was running for President, my VP would be a well trained golden retriever."
  • "Who's not going to watch Hamlet in space? I mean, Space Hamlet!"
  • "I just think we should all acknowledge what is awesome about Harry!"
  • "I like eating food after dark."
  • "Generally, people avoid kissing their sister in a healthy life."
  • "If you don't like my zebra leggings, it's because you just don't understand zebra leggings."
  • "I think we should provide more showers for cows."
  • "If I'm having a bad day, I eat pizza."
  • "I hope Google uses the same algorithm to encrypt my email as my pocket does to tie knots with my headphones."
  • "I would own a farm. Not like growing crops but maybe have a few animals like cows, and maybe an alpaca or a llama. I would chop wood all day."
  • "Dog. #dog. Dog. Dog."
  • "Had fun tweeting with/at you guys. Phone is about to die. Gonna go get more double-A batteries."
  • "The jackhammer has been joined by his friend, the concrete saw. Rare that you get two music legends right outside your window like this."
  • "Interdimensional cat smuggling is severely punished. But you can make a killing on the black cat market."
  • "You should just give up on me like I did. So done with me right now I can't even."
  • "What am I fan of? No one's ever asked me this before! Oh man."
  • "I don't know why they say that. I think they're poking fun at me."
  • "Congrats. You deserve that sailboat."
  • "I don't know. I don't have any pet peeve. Yapping little dogs, I guess. Buttons that don't go up right."
  • "Donkeys look like rabbit horses."
  • "Everyone is all, 'follow your heart.' If that worked I'd be watching Shadowhunters in my spaceship."
  • "Am I making this up?"
  • "I don't condone it, but I understand it, and therefore, I will not pass judgment on it."
  • "I can eat a pound of pork rinds."
  • "I am your bird king!"
  • "Baby pigs or baby cows? They're both good options."
  • "I have deleted a single photo from my phone. I have room for one selfie. Living on the edge. If it happens, no second chances."
  • "She gets it at a Shadowhunter tailor where we get all our stuff. Are you serious?"
  • "My cell phone is not the most important thing in my life. It just feels that way."
  • "Kill her immediately. Problem solved."
  • "You're not me? Most people aren't, in my experience."
  • "Man I've spent a whole year talking about sailboats and I could have just jumped on this SHIP."
  • "Reminder not to cite 'game of thrones' as my motivation for getting into politics."
  • "To all the people who threaten to punch me in the face... Do I have to be concerned or is that a love thing?"
  • "Put this on?! Fit it on my body?!"
  • "I’m going to shave today. Nobody will recognize me and I’ll have to reintroduce myself to all my friends."
  • "Don't get me started on this question."
  • "Okay, quick question. What does it mean when someone says they are your 'trash?' Asking for a friend..."
  • "Wait, 'SexyBack' is by Justin Timberlake?"
  • "Everyone's smooching everyone and Alec just wants to do his job. That's why he's the best and deserves a big smooch."
Epic Movie (Re)Watch #186 - The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: I think so.

Do I remember it: Better than I did the 1st one, which isn’t saying much.

Did I see it in theaters: No

Format: Blu-ray

I nominated the recap for the first Princess Diaries to @princessofsunnydale because she nominated it for my (Re)Watch so I thought I’d do the same for this post. Thanks!

1) I think it was a wildly smart decision to move the setting of this film from San Francisco to Mia’s often spoke of but rarely seen dominion of Genovia. It’s an organic next step to her story. We saw her learn how to be a princess in San Fran, now we see how she actually adapts to her home country (which is a lively character in its own right). The decision to jump ahead five years ahead instead of three (the number of years between releases) I think also is nice. Mia is more comfortable in the agency she gained in the first film, the relationship with her beau Michael is not hanging over her head, it just allows the film to not be dogged down by some plot points from the first film.

2) Sir Fat Louie? Did they knight him? Can you knight a cat?

3) I didn’t remember this line before I put in the movie but I do now.

Originally posted by say-hi-or-die

4) Shonda Rhimes co-authored the story AND wrote the screenplay? Huh.

Originally posted by iliveforscandal

(I don’t actually watch any Shonda Rhimes shows, now that I think about it.)

5) Chris Pine as Nicholas.

Originally posted by scarlettjo

There is a strong initial chemistry Pine has with lead actress Hathaway, allowing the audience to grow invested in their relationship quickly. Even/especially when they’re not getting long, you can just fell the sexual chemistry in the air between them. It’s fun, making the film stronger because of it.

Chris Pine on his own is as charismatic and interesting as ever. In lesser hands the character of Nicholas could be an even bigger jerk and while there are antagonistic qualities to him the audience UNDERSTANDS his motivations. He is trying to honor what he believes his dead father wanted, he believes he’s trying to do what’s best for Genovia. And when he sees he was mistaken, he tries to step aside. There’s a nice honesty to Pine’s performance. He doesn’t play Nicholas as an over the top mustache twirling villain. All in all, Pine does a fine job in this film and helps support it.

6) Except for one black guy, Genovia’s parliament is made up of all white guys saying they don’t want a woman to rule unless she has a man by her side.

Originally posted by mulder-scully-gifs

I think Queen Clarisse has the perfect response to that.

Originally posted by classyncguy

The law is severely sexist and antiquated. One of the members of parliament claims it should be respected because it is 300 years old. Saying a law is that old is not an effective argument for it as much as it is AGAINST it. 300 years ago in 2004 that’s 1704. That’s slavery, that’s a fundamental lack of women’s rights across most countries. Don’t use the fact a law is old to argue for it. Laws should evolve as the world does.

7) John Rhys Davies is a wonderful character actor who plays Nicholas’ uncle as a holier than thou elitist arrogant jerk. I love to hate him in this, but I might need to watch Lord of the Rings or Raiders of the Lost Ark next to balance out my feelings.

8) Hey guys. Remember that time Catwoman stomped on Captain Kirk’s foot in front of Gimli and Mary Poppins?

Originally posted by its-a-new-sound-track

I’m sure someone has made this joke before, but still.

9) The last film was largely about Clarisse putting her duty as queen aside to be Mia’s grandmother, a relationship which is as strong in this film as ever.

Clarisse [after Mia stomped on Nicholas’ foot]: “As a grandma I say right on.”

10) Like the first film, this movie’s biggest flaw is definitely pacing. Many scenes serve no purpose for the larger plot and instead distract from the main conflict. But - like with the first film - these scenes are also some of the most memorable. So…I’m not sure what to say then. I’m just going to move on.

11) I dig this.

Matarazzo is a continued treat in this film as she was in the first, stealing a number of scenes and infusing some quality humor into the plot. The way she mixes with Genovian life and culture can lead to some nice fish out of water observations, and Matarazzo plays the role with as much commitment and heart as she did in the first film. God bless Lily.

12) The bachelor selection scene is - by far - one of my favorite moments in the film. It is directly related to the plot and has an incredible amount of humor to it. Also, it’s not nearly as long as I remember.

For those of you who didn’t watch the clip above (or even if you did), here is my favorite moment from the scene.

(GIFs originally posted by @ezrajamessharkington​)

I mean it’s small, but I appreciate that both this film and its predecessor acknowledge the LGBTQIA+ community more than other Disney films did at the time.

13) Callum Blue as Andrew Jacoby.

Much like Michael from the first film, Andrew is able to be a good guy while avoiding the trope of Nice Guy™. There is a respect he has for Mia, an understanding and a fondness. They clearly have a connection and appreciate each other’s company, but it is clear that neither of them love each other. And Andrew does not force this on Mia. He’s pretty much at her service, ready to respect her wishes without being a total pushover. He’s a good guy, someone who could have easily been a jerk or a bully but the fact Mia could plausibly end up with him just ups the stakes.

14) The fan scene is a nice moment of chemistry between Hathaway and Andrews, which (much like in the preceding film) is one of the strongest elements of this movie.

Originally posted by paintedprintedpaper

this film one of those moments is when she is reduced to tears because John Rhys Davies spooked her horse and revealed that - SHOCKER - women actually prefer to not ride side saddle. I suppose it’s better that she’s too hard on herself than not hard enough though, as she will be queen.

16) Damn, Joe is a badass.

Mabrey: “Sir, you will find that the word ‘fear’ is not in my vocabulary.”

Joe: “Perhaps. But it’s in your eyes.”

Originally posted by pitch-perfect-movie

17) Hey look! The foot pop!

Originally posted by idontwannamissyouthisway

18) Okay, Nicholas is being creepy with Mia at the fountain. Yes, they kiss. But then she says no to him. Multiple times, too. Yet he keeps groping at her and chasing her around the fountain until they both fall in. And MIA’S in trouble?

Originally posted by emilysurvivesgradschool

19) The parade.

By far the strongest moment in the film. It shows off not only the agency Mia gained in the first film (she has the confidence to stop a parade), but also her incredible heart. She shows off such kindness and care for the people of Genovia, accepts her role as a leader, and is able to create a positive change through the sheer depth of her heart. Also, little Abigail Breslin is very cute.

20) Holy crap, Paul Williams is in this movie.

What is this movie?

21) The bridal slumber party is another scene which doesn’t really add to the plot and it goes a little long. BUT - again - it is wildly memorable. Especially seeing Julie Andrews surf on a mattress after giving a wink to her most iconic character.

Originally posted by stydixa

Originally posted by tripps42

22) Julie Andrews’ song.

Julie Andrews underwent surgery in 1997 to treat what she referred to as a muscular striation on her vocal cords. She emerged from the surgery with permanent damage that hurt her singing voice and gave a rasp to her speaking voice (for which she sued the hospital for malpractice two years later). Julie Andrews basically lost her singing voice. Her song “Your Crowning Glory” was the first time she sang on screen since the surgery. Although it was set in a limited range to accommodate her voice, she was reported to have nailed it on the first take and brought tears to the eyes of crew members on set. Raven Symoné - who duets with Andrews on the song - was so moved when she told she’d be singing with the legend that she too was reportedly brought to tears. If for no other reason, I am grateful this movie exists for all of that.

23) Nicholas is very ready to step aside and let Mia rule.

Nicholas [after his uncle notes all their work would be for nothing]: “It wouldn’t be nothing. Genovia would in good hands.”

I love that. I love that he’s true to his beliefs about doing what’s right for Genovia, NOT himself.

24) So there’s a slight bit of foreshadowing here.

Nicholas [at Mia’s window]: “Rapunzel, Rapunzel…”

Originally posted by missdeev

Chris Pine would later go on to play Cinderella’s Prince in the 2014 film adaptation of Into the Woods, which also featured the characters of Rapunzel and her prince.

25) I’m surprised Paolo’s back. I mean, Larry Miller is great. But didn’t he totally betray the trust of the royal family in the first film? And also, why is he suddenly kinda bad at styling Mia?

Originally posted by siizzy

26) Bless whoever made this

(I just found this on google. If this is your’s and you want credit let me know and I’ll be happy to give it.)

27) Um, guys…

What the heck is Stan Lee doing in The Princess Diaries 2? Is Mia going to join The Avengers? Is Genovia a part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe? What is happening!?

All humor aside, as I understand it Stan Lee will cameo in any movie asked as long as he gets his standard fee. I think he wants to have the record for most cameos ever.

28) I dig it, Andrew.

Andrew [after Mia calls off the wedding]: “Uh…thank you. Thank you for saving me from doing the proper thing for once in my life.”

29) Much like the first film, it is Mia who must take her own fate in her hands. She’s the one who argues against the marriage law, she’s the one who convinces the people and parliament to strike it down (although the Prime Minister is again incredibly supportive and I love that). It’s her taking charge of her life, which I think is absolutely great.

Originally posted by baku-babe

30) I 100% forgot that part of this film ended with Clarisse and Joe getting married. I am very okay with that.

31) OH MY GOD YES! PARLIAMENT IS MORE DIVERSE AT THE END! THERE ARE SO MANY WOMEN AND EVEN WOMEN OF COLOR AND IT’S JUST BEAUTIFUL AND DIVERSE AND I NEED MORE OF IT! THANK YOU!

Originally posted by ultraselfdeprecatingnarcissist


Like the first film, The Princess Diaries 2 held up surprisingly better than I was expecting. Obviously it’s aimed at a younger audience than me but it was pretty enjoyable. Anne Hathaway is strong as ever, as is Julie Andrews, while Chris Pine is a welcome and fitting addition to the cast. The themes are nicely feminist as is the ending. Overall I just find it an enjoyable film worth the watch.

anonymous asked:

hii! i just finished reading adore you and through eerie chaos, and i was wondering if you know of any more 1920s aus? thank youu xx

Sure ! (warning, I haven’t read them all)

- Through Eerie Chaos, by @mediawhorefics   : For as long as anyone can remember, Old Hillsbridge Manor has always been believed to be haunted. Everyone in the village agrees and keeps a respectful, fearful, distance. New in town after a bad breakup and an internship that led to disappointment rather than a permanent job, Harry Styles figures taking pictures of the decrepit building could be a great new creative project. Or at least a much-needed distraction while he searches for a job and crashes at his parents’ new house. No one warned him about the apparitions though; about the music, the laughter, the people who flicker and vanish when you call after them, the echoes of a past that should be long gone… Harry has never believed in spirits but even he can admit that there’s something weird going on. What starts as mere curiosity evolves into a full-blown investigation and soon enough, Harry finds himself making friends with an aristocrat from the 1920s and struggling with finding the best way to tell him that he’s dead.The Ghost Hunter AU where Niall lives to prove ghosts are real, Zayn is a skeptical librarian and Harry gets caught up in a century-old mystery and catches feeling in the process. (102K, G)

- Adore You , by @isthatyoularry :  “We invited our new acquaintances from uptown. You’ve simply got to meet their oldest son!” said his mother with a flourish, and suddenly it became abundantly clear as to why his parents had so adamantly demanded he join them in Deansville for the entirety of the summer. Against his wishes, Harry spends the holidays at his family’s summer estate, and is reluctantly pulled into a courtship he didn’t ask for. Harry doesn’t want to get married, but Louis does. They don’t fit, but then again they really, really do. Vaguely set in the 1920’s. Headpieces, jazz, fashionable canes, and flapper dresses, and that. (66k, M)

- Through Lonely Streets and Neon Lights, by sweetly_disposed  :  1920’s era, Great Gatsby inspired. Harry is a poor boy living in the South Village. Every night he watches the North City come alive and longs of crossing the river to be a part of it and escape his dreary life. The infamous Mr Tomlinson lives across the river from Harry. His parties are the stuff of legend; people on both sides know about them, and all Harry wants is a chance to go to one. When fate swings his way and he finds himself in Mr Tomlinson’s house, he gets much more than he could ever have bargained for. (25k, M)

- castles made of the sand (fall in the sea) , by  samimnot : harry’s been burning for too long(or an au where harry’s a burlesque dancer and louis may or may not be his way out) (1,8k,  NR)

- The Man I Love, by  avatarlahey It’s the Roaring Twenties, a time of blissful prosperity, overflowing champagne flutes, adrenaline-filled dancing, and the rise of the Jazz Age—and Louis Tomlinson absolutely abhors it all. A stickler for modest classics, jazz is the bane of Louis’ existence.  Coincidentally, Harry Styles is the bass player for an underground jazz band. orThe 1920s AU where Louis is a hardworking, no nonsense paralegal, Harry is in love with the greatest city on earth, Zayn is the enigmatic leader of the band, Niall’s just there to make sure everyone’s having a good time, and Liam is the barber who started it all. (17k, T)

- Our Stable Heart  , by  Arora  :  Louis Tomlinson had it all. A beautiful mansion in the country-side of London, a well known job in the heart of downtown, and a lovely fiance he would soon marry… But what happens when Louis’ world is turned upside down just from gazing into a pair of dreamy, green eyes? Something Louis could never have imagined himself…  (30k, E)

- A Rose, By Any Other Name, by  iwillpaintasongforlou  :  “I don’t understand, Mr. Tomlinson,” Harry says quietly.“You don’t have to understand, sweetheart.” Louis reaches over and runs his thumb across Harry’s cheekbone, watching the boy’s breathing pause as he dares not move beneath the touch of this strange, imposing man. “All you need to know is that you work for me now, and that I’m going to keep you safe from all the bad people in this city, you hear?” …..  Louis Tomlinson is the head of New York City’s mafia, and Harry is the beautiful boy from Texas who falls in with the wrong crowd (which turns out to be the right crowd). (10k, E)

- I’m coming home (just in time), by  larrycaring  : “I am not in Hull,” Louis fumes, but he doesn’t know who he is trying to convince at this point, because one thing he is sure of, he is no longer in London.“But you are,” the boy exclaims as he shakes his head. “Look, it is written in black and white just there,” the guy continues, looking down at the newspaper, “Hull, 1920.”“1920!?” Louis takes the newspaper from the boy’s hands, and when his eyes land on the paper, he feels like his world has just collapsed.The Hull Times, 5th July 1920How he has ended up in Yorkshire in the 1920’s, why can’t he remember a thing on how he’s gotten here? The only thing he remembers is…“Harry.”“Who’s Harry?”Oh god, Harry.   — or a time travel journey where Harry fights his way back to Louis, because when two souls are meant to be, nothing can stop them from reuniting. (20k, NR) 

- The Murder of Nicholas Grimshaw, by photo41Nick Grimshaw wanted to know too much. He wanted to know why his adopted son, Louis Tomlinson, had disappeared 6 years ago. But then, he found out that maybe knowing would be bad, since he started getting blackmailed or else the reasons Louis disappeared would get out and ruin him. But the evening post brought Nick one last fatal scrap of information. Unfortunately, before he could act on his new knowledge, he was stabbed to death. Luckily for this sleepy little town; the famous detective Niall Horan had retired to grow cabbage. Some bloody retirement this turned out to be.  (55k, G)

anonymous asked:

So, I have pretty bad stretch marks and they make me self conscious. I'm scared for anyone to see me in a bathing suit or nude. Anywho, that got me thinking: how would each of the hosts react to seeing their s/o naked for the first time and finding out they have stretch marks? You don't have to, but if you do thanks in advance.

No problem! I have some stretch marks I’m not too happy with as well, so this was therapeutic in a way, so double thank you!~

  Tamaki:

He honestly wouldn’t notice. This boy would honestly be so flustered at seeing you naked he wouldn’t notice anything really. When he finally cleared his head enough to realize what he was looking at, he wouldn’t notice anything of that sort. He’d be telling you how perfect you were because to him, you honestly were. He’d be telling you he hadn’t seen anything so perfect, ever and he’s genuinely believe it. If you were to point it out he’d be soooo confused! He’d be one of those people who’d just be like ‘and this is bad, how?’ It would suddenly be his mission to make you love every part of you, and make you see yourself how he saw you.

  Kyoya:

He would… note it? It would be when he was initially looking you over. He’d be memorizing every inch of you, so naturally he’d commit any marks on your body to that mental image as well. Any moles, birthmarks, or stretch marks would be simple additions to the canvas that made up you as a whole. He would just treat it like nothing. Genuinely he wouldn’t care. But, if you were insecure about it he would try to make you feel better about it, in his own weird ways. Little things, like complimenting them when he could see them, buying you swimsuits and clothing that would compliment them. He would try to make you understand that the stretch marks didn’t define your beauty, but the way you wore them could accentuate your beauty.

  Hikaru:

When he saw you naked the first time, trust me, the last thing on his mind would be any so-called imperfections. Mostly just, awkward, incoherent thoughts, and trying and failing not to show his awkwardness on his face. No but really, nothing would change. If you point them out he’d just say something along the lines of ‘yeah, so’? It would change nothing  for you two. Actually, I take it back. Nicknames. The only thing in your relationship that your stretch marks would affect would be your nicknames. He’d probably call you Tiger. He’d tell people that it’s because you’re fierce yet beautiful or something cheesy like that, but it would really be his very own unique approach to trying to help your insecurities on the matter.

  Kaoru:

This gentle boy. The first time he saw you naked, his face would get soooo red. He’d never seen anything so perfect and if you didn’t see it the same way, he’d be so sad. He wouldn’t understand, but he’d do anything and everything he could do to make you feel better about yourself. Constant compliments for one, but not in an obnoxious way, he makes it flow with the conversation, he makes it seem almost offhanded. He has no idea how you could possibly be insecure about anything relating to yourself, so doing things like this to make you feel better about yourself becomes his goal.

  Mori:

Let’s be honest here, this boy worships you. He loves you so much, it’s incomprehensible. The first time he saw you naked, he almost didn’t want to look in order to protect your virtue what a gentleman, but the part of him that was undeniably attracted to you won over, and he was in shock to be honest. He loves you, and your body is just an extension of you. He doesn’t think much of physical beauty, as he is more attracted to who you are as a person, so he thinks he’s lucky to have someone as physically stunning as you. But, you’re looking shy while standing in front of him. Why is that? Once you explain to him that you’re insecure about your stretch marks, he gets really quiet for a moment. He then proceeds to point out every mark on his body. Every scar he’s gotten in training, every abnormal birthmark, that one mole that just appeared one day from God knows where. He tells you their stories and then points to your stretch marks, telling you that they’re just stories your body has to tell as well, and that you should never be ashamed of what makes you, you.

  Honey:

When you told him your stretch marks made you insecure about yourself he looked so confused. You honestly felt  like you had just kicked a puppy. He had just been trying to take in your appearance for the first time, looking oddly serious, when you had told him there was no need to stare at them, because you knew they were gross. His eyes had snapped up to yours in an instant, the kicked puppy expression coming to his face. All he had been doing was admiring the view ;) when you had said possibly the least understandable sentence in the world to him. But, you were confused that he was confused. Wasn’t he looking at your stretch marks? When you asked him this, he looked back down, then said “Oh, you do have stretch marks, huh? Why would I care?” Not gonna lie, you were a little offended. How could he just brush them off like that? You tried explaining to him what the problem was, because he was clearly not getting it, but he just stared at you, looking uncharacteristically serious. He told you that some marks on your skin did not define you, and that you were beautiful in his eyes, despite what you seemed to think. Then he started to tear up dramatically, asking you why you were faulting yourself and so on. You sighed. He was back. But, you were also oddly touched… He had managed to make you feel a bit better about yourself, and for that, you were grateful.

~~~

  Not gonna lie, Honey’s scenario wasn’t my best work. Not too happy with it, but what can you do? Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this though, thank you for reading!! 

Ashes~ <3 xoxo

Misconceptions- Chapter 1

Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Natasha x Bucky, Platonic Tony x reader.

 Warnings: ANGST. Pregnancy, violence, insecurity and self-loathing, Mutant reader (powers similar to Jean from X-men with a little immortality thrown in) also swearing. 

Okay so i did a thing. i don’t know how good this is but it will be multi-chapter constructive criticism is appreciated. This is my first time writing anything so please be gentle! also a huge thank you to @denialanderror whose encouragement finally got me to write something. 

Originally posted by mylastlove-mylastsong

Hindsight. You stared at them from your spot on the couch and all that you could think was hindsight. The blinding aching pain that seemed to spread from your chest into every frayed nerve, neuron and cell of your body roared in agreement. Hindsight is always 20/20, you should not have agreed to his proposition, you should not have let his puppy dog eyes reel you in, you should not have listened to your heart. He twirls a lock of her silky red hair around his finger, tugging slightly to get her attention, she all but purrs at him ‘Barnes’ she warns him, ‘Not here big guy, we at least have to pretend to be interested in movie night’. He pouts at her but relents, snuggling into her hair and breathing her in. You can feel the scream clawing at your throat, doing its best to make him realise just how much he hurt you. How badly he broke you. How seeing them together, the man you love and your best friend, rips into your psyche, searing the image into the back of your eye lids. How beautiful dreams of you and Bucky building a life has been replaced by a gasping moaning Natalia under an equally aroused Bucky. Stupid you think, stupid insipid girl, stupid stupid stupid. You watch as Natalia seemingly melts into his embrace, the content sigh that escapes her and the blindingly beautiful smile Bucky graces her with. It’s enough to make you want to hurl. You swallow the lump that’s forming in your throat. ‘I’m a trained assassin, I’ve had worse, seen worse. I can do this’ you tell yourself. Yet you can feel your body revolting, your mind and heart shattering with every word they exchange, bile burning a hot path up your digestive tract and you bolt to the nearest bathroom, purging yourself of everything you’ve seemingly eaten in the last week. Through the haze of tears and dry heaving you hear banging on the door the concerned voice of Bucky filtering through your foggy mind. 'Doll? Doll are ya alrigh’ in there sweetheart?’ You moan into the toilet bowl. of fucking course. Bucky fucking Barnes could not leave you to throw up in peace, oh no he had to be your saviour. ‘I’m fine James’ you reply, spying your birth control at the end of the basin. Shit. Oh oh shit. ‘You’re puking buckets into the toilet, doll face. I don’t think your fine’ he throws back at you ‘For the love of God Barnes, FUCK OFF’ you scream ‘I don’t need you treating me like a goddamn child Bucky, please just leave me alone’. You’re staring at the birth control, trying to quell the mounting panic, counting off the days since your last period, and connecting the late night fridge raids to the devastating realisation that your 2 months late and your last partner was none other than Bucky Fucking Barnes.

Flashback:

 ‘Kitty cat can we talk?’ Bucky asks as he fidgets with his shirt sleeve. You can tell he’s nervous, you can practically feel it rolling off of him in waves. ‘Of course, sugar. Whadda ya need?’ you don’t see him flinch at the nickname or the grimace that takes over his features. You’re giddy. Excited. Its been six months since you and Bucky started sleeping together, a desperate night born from an exceedingly horrible mission and pent up frustration of not being able to do more, to be more for the people you are supposed to protect. ‘I need ta talk ta ya about us, or whatever this is’ he replies. ‘Finally’ you muse. You’re smiling now, a big toothy grin that wraps around your face and scrunches the corner of your eyes. 'You have my undivided attention, Buck’ you sit across from him, feet tucked underneath you, waiting with bated breath for the words you’ve been dying to hear for what feels like forever. 'I met someone’ he blurts out. ‘I really feel for her ya know? And I wanna try with her’. You feel the blood in your veins turn to ice. ‘I’m sorry kitty, but you knew this was temporary. You’re my closest friend next ta Stevie and I really don’ wanna lose you over a mistake’ Mistake? He thinks you’re a mistake? ‘And Nat an’ I just sorta happened’ he adds. And in that moment you can feel your entire life implode. 

One awkward trip to the doctor, an entire tub of chocolate mint ice cream and a night of dreams involving Bucky’s face on the body of a new born baby screaming for Natasha later and your strolling into the kitchen scanning the room for Tony and deliberately avoiding Bucky’s gaze boring into the back of your head. You haven’t spoken to him since the bathroom incident, actively leaving the room when he walks in, ignoring his frantic calls of your name, ignoring the screams that echo through the tower at night. You’re being petty and unfair, you know, but you can’t listen to his declarations of love for the woman you would literally take a bullet for. Your gaze lands on the billionaire, you take a deep breath to calm your ever-rebellious stomach and mentally call out to him ‘Tony I need your help’ his eyes snap to yours ‘Got an itch that needs scratching, sugar tits?’ he replies waggling his eyebrows and leering playfully. ‘No you perv, I’m serious can you meet me in the lab? In like 10 minutes?’ He sobers instantly ‘Sure (y/n) I’ll be right up’ 

10 minutes and a bitten thumbnail later and you’re staring at a fuming Tony Stark trying to explain just exactly how you managed to get yourself knocked up. ‘You have got to be fucking kidding me (y/n), you’re baby bumping around the tower and you didn’t think to tell me?’ He’s screaming now, an interesting shade of puce on his face “you didn’t even have to use words! you can think shit at me, you’re unbelievable’   ’T I’m so sorry, please, no one can know, I need your help. Please T’ you’re pleading, the sound of your own voice grating your pride. ‘Why?’ he splutters ‘Why can no one know kitty I don’t understand!’ 

 ‘It’s Bucky’s T. I’m pregnant with Bucky’s baby’

Tags: I honestly don’t know what i’m doing, i’m so sorry.

@loricameback @lancefuckrr @mellifluous-melodramas @buckyhoneybarnes

@buckyywiththegoodhair @marvel-ash @bucky-plums-barnes @buckyismyaesthetic @marvel-lucy @denialanderror @avasparks @a-tale-of-twocomics @thatawkwardtinyperson @emilyevanston @lomlbarnes @hannahindie @crownedloki @pitubea1910 @papi-chulo-bucky @lowkeybuckytrash

anonymous asked:

Oooooh how about NHL Chowder? Or really NHL anybody that isn't Jack. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

“I can’t do this,” Chris says, his forehead pressed into the cool wood of the table in the hotel room. “Oh my God. I can’t do this.”

“Chris.” Long fingers press into his hair, and he picks his head up in time to see Derek sit down across from him. He holds both his hands out and makes a c’mon gesture with them, and Chris takes both of them, squeezing hard and then dropping his head to inhale the smell of Derek’s skin, still fresh and clean from his post-game shower.

God. The game. The game that they won. They won the Frozen fucking Four, and Chris only let one goal in the whole time, practically a fucking shutout, and that was why–

He sucks in a breath.

“Hey.” Chris makes himself look up. Derek’s watching him calmly–not with his chill face, because Chris knows that one’s totally fake, but actually calmly, gently. When Chris meets his eyes, he smiles. Chris smiles back, a little. He likes soft Derek. “Lemme in that brain of yours, Chow.”

“I just…” Chris swallows, motioning down at the papers in front of him, a little helpless. “I just–things? Like, things. I’m having…I’m having feelings. Like, a lot of feelings.”

Derek raises an eyebrow. “Okay,” he says. He nods toward the papers. “Can I look, or…”

Chris shakes his head. He’s not ready to show him yet. “Um. I need to hold your hands right now.”

“Okay.” Derek squeezes his hands. He’s quiet for a moment, and then says, “So, not the Sharks, then?”

“Not the Sharks.”

Derek nods slowly, then tilts his head to one side. His hair’s grown out a little–thanks, playoffs–and it makes his curls flop with the motion. “Gonna make me guess?”

“The Schooners,” Chris says. He hesitates. “And the Rangers.”

He sees the moment it clicks for Derek. “Oh,” he says. And then, “Oh,” again, softer, gentler, almost to himself.

Because Derek’s going back to New York for grad school, and Cait’s job search is wide open right now, but she’s been looking at tech firms in Manhattan, and it’s not like Derek doesn’t know Chris has been looking at diamonds online for months, but what Derek actually doesn’t know is that he’s been looking at wider, more masculine bands, too, because it’s not just him and Cait anymore, hasn’t been for a long time, and–

“C,” Derek says, carefully, “You shouldn’t make your call based on–I mean, you–” He takes a breath, squeezes Chris’s hands, and then says, “Lemme back up. What’s freaking you out?”

“All the things?” Chris guesses. He sighs. “Like, it’s real? I mean, it was always the dream, but now it’s like–it’s real. Going pro, it’s an option, teams want me, teams are actually looking at me and trying to get me to sign with them, and I just–I don’t know how to–It just feels big, you know?”

Derek nods. He strokes the pads of his thumbs over the backs of Chris’s knuckles. It’s probably an absent motion, but it’s soft, soothing. Chris relaxes a little. “You know you deserve it,” he says softly. “Right? You’re the fucking league, Chowder. You deserve everything.”

“But–” Chris swallows. “But what if I fuck up?”

This is the insecurity he never lets his parents see, because he has to show them that hockey can be a Real Thing, that his computer science degree is just a backup. He’ll show Caitlyn, and he knows she’d never, ever judge him, but she doesn’t get it, either–she loves him so much, but she just doesn’t really understand the pressure, the need to be not just good but better, because good enough is never enough.

But Derek–Derek gets it. Derek knows. He squeezes his hand. “Then you do your fucking best,” he says. “And if they cut you, you come move in with me, and you can live off my generous trust fund as my live-in kept boy.”

It’s such an unexpected response that it startles a laugh out of him. “Derek, what the fuck,” Chris says, but he sniffles and laughs and lets go of one of Derek’s hands and wipes his eyes. “I was being serious.”

“So was I,” Derek says, grinning. He leans across the table and kisses Chris’s cheek, way up on the corner of his cheekbone, almost at the edge of his eye. It’s his favorite spot. “Got your back doesn’t end when we leave Samwell,” he says, sitting back in his chair. “Okay?”

Chris takes a breath. “Okay,” he says. “You promise?”

Derek smiles. “Yeah,” he says. “Of course.”

“Okay.” Chris smiles, the last, lingering tension finally loosening from his chest. With a shaking hand, he turns over one of the stacks of paper in front of him, and pushes the Rangers contract–already signed–across the table so Derek can see. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

  • Yang: *Yang slammed open the door to her and Ruby's room with tears in her eyes.* Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! *yang shouted as she punched the wall repeatedly before slumping down against it onto the floor holding her hands to her face.*
  • Ruby: *Meanwhile Ruby rushed in from the bathroom in a panic.* What Happen!? I heard banging! *She then spotted her sister sitting shaking on against the wall and quickly rushed over.* Yang? Are you alright? What's wrong?
  • Yang: *Yang sniffled wiping the tears from her red eyes.* It's nothing Ruby. Just... Just go away.
  • Ruby: Yang. It's clearly not nothing. Please talk to me. I just want to help. *Ruby said moving closer to her sister placing her hand on her shoulder.*
  • Yang: *Yang was silent for a moment, trying to stop the tears from falling as her eyes slowly turn purple.* Fine... I was going to the cafe were Blake went too... I was going to go tell her how I feel about her because I just needed to get this off my chest, ya'know. *Yang sniffled wiping her eyes.* But when I got there I saw her with Sun.
  • Ruby: Okay so Blake was hanging out with Sun. That isn't out of- *Ruby started before shouted with more tears in her eyes.*
  • Yang: They were on a date Ruby!
  • Ruby: *At this Ruby looked dumbfounded with surprise.* W-what? No. they couldn't be. They are just good friend, Yang. I'm sure it was a misunderstanding.
  • Yang: *Ruby then watched as the anger in Yang's express was overwhelmed with sorrow before looking down at the ground.* That's what I was hope for, Ruby... Right up until They kissed.
  • Ruby: oh... Oh Yang. *Ruby whisper as she wrapped her arms around her sister who hugged her back burying her face into her shoulder.* I am so sorry.
  • Yang: What am I going to do Ruby? *sniffle* I love her so much. But I can never be with her. *sniffle. I can't even tell her now. *Yang cried, holding onto Ruby for dear life.*
  • Ruby: Shhhhh. It's alright. Let it all out. *Ruby whispered as she stroke Yangs head hugging her until she calmed down.* It'll be okay Yang. Why don't you go take a shower and get ready for bed. Maybe it will help you feel better.
  • Yang: *sniffle.* Yeah... Thank you Ruby.
  • Ruby: Anytime. We're sisters after all. We take care of each other. You'd do the same for me... And probably beat up the other person.
  • Yang: Hehe, Yeah I would.
  • ~Later~
  • Ruby: *Ruby walked down stair while Yang is in the shower when she hears the front door open and close.* Oh I guess Blake is back. *She thought to herself when she hear Weiss and Blake begin to talk.*
  • Weiss: Welcome back Blake.
  • Blake: Hey Weiss. Where's Yang and Ruby?
  • Weiss: Upstairs. Yang's in the shower and Ruby I think went to bed.
  • Blake: Ah I see. I'll put these left overs in the fridge then.
  • Weiss: So how did it go?
  • Blake: How did what go?
  • Weiss: Your date with Sun.
  • Blake: *Ruby then heard Blake groan as she heard her coat being thrown.* For the last time Weiss. It was not a date. We are just friends and I made that pretty clear to him as well.
  • Weiss: What do you mean?
  • Blake: Sigh, Sun kissed me.
  • Weiss: He kissed you!?
  • Blake: Yes. And then I slapped him.
  • Weiss: WHAT!? Why? I thought you liked him?
  • Blake: As. A. Friend. Honestly, If I knew he was asking me out on a date and not to hang out I would have told him no and that I only see him as a friend. Which He accepted and apologized for kissing me while I apologized for slapping him.
  • Weiss: But I don't understand! You talked you were in love with someone blonde that we know. Oh god don't tell me it's Jaune!
  • Blake: What?! No! God No!
  • Weiss: Then who? We don't know any other blonde guys and the only other person we both know who is blonde is Yang.
  • Blake: ...
  • Weiss: ... Wait.
  • Blake: Weiss. Don't.
  • Weiss: Oh. My god.
  • Blake: Weiss. I'm serious. Shut up.
  • Ruby: *It was then just as Weiss opened her mouth to speak Ruby stepped out from around the corner and nearly shouted.* YOU LOVE YANG!
  • Blake: R-RUBY!? *Blake jumped in surprise, nearly dropping the box of sweet as Weiss watched from the chair she sat in.* H-hey. Uh, I thought you were sleep. I, uh, got some sweetd from the cafe if you want any. *Blake then watched as Ruby zipped over infront of her slapping the box out of her hand to the floor, shocking both her and Weiss before Ruby took hold of her shoulder.*
  • Ruby: Yeah. Forget that. Is it true!? You Actually love my sister?!
  • Blake: I...
  • Weiss: Ruby what is wrong with-
  • Ruby: Not now Weiss! I'll example later! Blake! Do you or do you not love Yang!?
  • Blake: Well I mean... *Blake muttered shifting nervously at Ruby's gaze before finally cracking.* Okay Yes. I love Yang but you can't tell her, please.
  • Ruby: Oh thank you god!
  • Blake/Weiss: Eh?
  • Ruby: Blake You are going to go up stair to Yang right now and tell Yang how yu feel. Like right now!
  • Blake/Weiss: What? Why? *the two said together before looking at each other weirdly then back to Ruby.*
  • Ruby: Because Yang has been crying for the past hour thinks you and Sun are dating!
  • Blake: Why would Yang think that and why was she crying about it?
  • Ruby: Because she loves you and she saw Sun kissing you!
  • Blake: WHAT!? OH MY GOD! YANG!*Blake Shouted and quickly ran past Ruby and upstairs.*
  • Weiss: You think she remembers me saying Yang is in the shower? *Both Weiss and Ruby then looked as they heard a door slam open.*
  • Blake: YANG! IT WASN'T A DATE! I DON'T LOVE SUUUUWHOAMYGOD!
  • Yang: AAAAAAAAAAAH! BLAKE! WHAT THE HELL!?
  • Blake: I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE NAKED!
  • Yang: I JUST GOT OUT OF THE SHOWER! STOP PEAKING AND GET OUT OR AT LEAST GIVE MY A TOWEL!
  • Ruby: Yeah I'm going to go with nope. *Ruby then took a bite of a cookie from the box on the floor.*

queenconsuelabananahammock  asked:

Were Mila and Danny a thing??? I mean I had ~a feeling~ that they may have been at some point but...what's the tea 👀

They weren’t, as said by them plenty of times and the facts one can add.

I’m not much of a RPF fan, so I’m going to try and make this response as clear and informative as I can. But,

  • She was underage for most part of the show. He being 7 years older than her would had been a little bit crazy and honest to god disgusting if they were a thing. Which I don’t believe they were because
  • Both were on relationships by the time the rumor of them being a thing was spread. He has always present as a very monogamous man, liking and having serious and long-term relationships, which he had during the show and after, before marrying Bijou Philips. While Mila was also in a long-term serious relationship with actor Macaulay Culkin.
  • Another thing to add is the fact that both had refer to the other as their brother/sister, which makes sense since he seemed to have bonded with her pretty early during filming.
  • After the show ended, and their relationships too, they didn’t had a reason to hide if they had been together, but to this day they keep saying the same: they never dated, they see each other as brother/sister, it was only a rumor.

IMPORTANT, 24/06/2017: This post is constantly updated. It has gotten to long, so the rest is now under the cut. You can ask me whatever you want about it.

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