oh my god i don't even care anymore

Oh my god, go fuck yourself with an eNTIRE ANT HILL, boss–

Massive rant to follow, under a cut because I’m sorry but I’m not stopping.

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anonymous asked:

I head canon that his kids used to color in his tattoos pre-belle reve. And he'd like meet up with his guys looking like a toddler's drawing, and they don't question it.

OH MY GOD YES! I love this. Yes, of course they did. He’s got a spider web on his shoulder that his kids would make rainbow, and they’d colour in the skulls and patterns and his daughter would add flowers and stuff. And his dudes don’t even care anymore. The first guy who said something ended up burnt to a crisp. Some rival gangs even think he’s more threatening like this: it’s like war paint, or an urban legend: if you can see the colours of El Diablo’s tattoos it means you’re about to die

(This is one of my favourite headcanons for him honestly.)

EXO CHATS EP. 3 (Midnight Snack//Hunhan)
  • (RoomateAU)
  • -KITCHEN 2am-
  • Sehun: *rubbing eyes* Luhan?
  • Luhan: Hm? Oh, Sehun-ah! *is chewing on ramyun* Why are you still up?
  • Sehun: I think I'm the one who should be asking you that
  • Luhan: I was hungry so I made myself some ramyun. Midnight snack ya feel?
  • Sehun: It's not even midnight.
  • Luhan: Whatever, whatever, there mustn't be time restriction for any type of food. As long as it's food, I've got plenty of time *continues eating*
  • Sehun: Smh. *shakes head* Hey, wait. Didn't you have two whole servings of samgyupsal yesterday? Why would you still be hungry?
  • Luhan: *rolls eyes* Do you even know me, Sehun?
  • Sehun: And yet you're still skinnier than a twig.
  • Luhan: I take care of my gorgeous body, of course.
  • Sehun: You've never been to a gym let alone stepped in one. Hell, I don't think you've ever even exercised!
  • Luhan: Haters gonna hate.
  • Sehun: Nobody says that anymore.
  • Luhan: My god, Oh Sehun. Last time I checked I was the older one, quit nagging my ass off and let me enjoy my bowl of ramyun in peace now will you?
  • Sehun: Fine, fine.
  • Luhan: *continues eating*
  • Sehun: *sits in silence across from Luhan*
  • Luhan: *mouth full of noodles* You know you can go back to bed right?
  • Sehun: That's disgusting Luhan. Swallow your food before speaking will you.
  • Luhan: And last time I checked, you're not my mother *rolls eyes but obliges*
  • Luhan: *repeats* You know you can go back to bed right?
  • Sehun: Yes.
  • Luhan: Go on ahead then.
  • Sehun: I'm good.
  • Luhan: What-
  • Sehun: I good right where I am *folds arms and leans back in chair*
  • Luhan: Okay?... *is suspicious* Suit yourself. *continues to eat happily and finally in peace* Mmm, so good~
  • Sehun: *watches Luhan and quietly giggles of himself*
  • Sehun: *huh...* Cute.
  • Luhan: What did you just-
  • Sehun: Fuck.
  • Tumblr: Ugh, Marvel's giving us ANOTHER Spider-Man movie with a white guy? Like they haven't done that already. How original.
  • Me: Actually they haven't, this is their first time making a Spider-Man movie, and they probably just want to restore good faith after Sony made those godawful Amazing Spider-Man movies. They're not trying to be original, they just want to be in charge of making a movie for their most famous superhero.
  • Tumblr: Oh my god after all these reboots I don't even care about Spider-Man anymore.
  • Me: I hardly think 2 is an excessive number...
  • Tumblr: Oh my god seriously? A third reboot?
  • Me: I mean, it seems to me like you don't know how to count... or what a reboot is...
  • Tumblr: Why can't they give us a PoC Spider-Man?
  • Tumblr: Ugh, how could they replace Andrew Garfield? I love him so much!
  • Tumblr: I can't believe people say such terrible things about other people based on the color of their skin.
  • Tumblr: Ugh, look at this nasty white boy. I am disgusted.
  • Me: ...
  • Daehyun or any other BAP Member: Oh I'm hanging out with old friends and family for the first time in 3 years. I was so busy and could never see them before and now I can and it's great. But my fans are probably worried and want to know what I'm up to so even though I have zero obligation to do so, I'm gonna post a pic of this on IG to let them know that I'm okay and having fun with friends. *posts*
  • Dick pickle half of Baby Fandom: *sees IG post* ......
  • Me: Hoe don't do it
  • Dick pickle half of Baby Fandom: OMFG WhY Arn'Et YoU HaNgiNG OUT wITh thE OtHer OPpArs!!!11?? YoU arE A CrImiNaL aNd DoNt CaRe AbOut BAP aNyMore TRAITOR!!!!111 ThIs huRTs mE So MuCh!!!!1111
  • Me: oh my god
  • Daehyun: Okay geez sorry guys. I still love you guys so here. *Posts update of all 6 members hanging out*
  • Dick pickle half of Baby Fandom: *sees IG post* ......
  • Me: Hoe don't do it
  • Dick pickle half of Baby Fandom: WTf hImcHaN YOuRE sO FaT!!!11 WhAt hAvE yOu bEeN EatInG??? dO yOu hAvE A dIsorDer oR sOmeThiNG??
  • Me: oh my god
TEEN WOLF OFFICIALLY FUCKED ME UP. WOW, GREAT, BRAVO, GOOD JOB GUYS!!!! FUCK YOU JEFF DAVIS I’M LOSING MY MIND IT’S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE OH MY GOD I NEED HELP LIKE SERIOUSLY NEED HELP. FUCK I WOULD EVEN LET THE GOD DAMN FUCKING DREAD DOCTORS CAPTURE ME AND MAKE ME ONE OF THEIR LAB RATS IF THEY COULD.

GOD DAMN IT CANDACE BE CAREFUL FOR WHAT YOU WISH FOR!!!!!

INTJ-ENTP Procrastinating Work II: Procrastinate Harder
  • INTJ walks into class to see ENTP talking to the teacher while leaning on a desk next to INTJ's seat. INTJ sets his stuff down and meets eyes with ENTP.
  • INTJ: What are you doing here?
  • ENTP: ... Uh, I don't know. Just, hanging out before class starts?
  • INTJ: But you sit over there. *Points to back of the room*
  • Teacher: ENTP can sit there if he wants. I don't assign seats.
  • ENTP: Do you not want me here, INTJ.
  • INTJ: Hm? Oh, no, I don't care. I was just asking.
  • ENTP: *Sits down next to INTJ* Actually, you should be excited that I'm sitting here now.
  • INTJ: I am so excited.
  • ENTP: ...
  • INTJ: ...
  • The schedule for the week appears on the board, revealing the test on a book to be in three days. They look at each other with pinched faces.
  • INTJ: How far are you?
  • ENTP: Um, I think I brought it in my bag today? You?
  • INTJ: I read, like, twenty pages the other day.
  • ENTP: ...
  • INTJ: ...
  • BOTH: Pffffhahahahahaha!
  • INTJ: Oh my God. What have we been doing all this time?
  • ENTP (to teacher): Do you think if I read enough of the Sparknotes, I'll be able to... You know.
  • INTJ: Wow, did you actually just ask that? After years of hearing to specifically /not/ use those things from countless teachers, you ask if it'll work on the test?
  • ENTP: I honestly don't even care anymore.
  • INTJ: I suppose I'm not much better.
  • INTJ: These next few days are going to be long.
  • ENTP: Beat of luck to you.
  • INTJ: And to you.