oh my god i can't with this image in my head now

anonymous asked:

chocobros & s/o got together only for a week. s/o accidentally walks in on them dressing after showering. it gets awkward. s/o freezes. they can't look away cus of shock & embarrassment. s/o tries to ease the awkwardness "Umm... Nice? ...No wait it's not-that's not... uhh.." s/o runs out of the room & forgets to close the door. s/o goes to the living room to try to distract themselves by watching tv but they're not watchin cus they're covering their blushing face with their hands.

Hey, Anon! :3

YAS just YAS! This is awesome, thank you! 

This sounded like it’d be worth some scenarios. I kind of adjusted it for Iggy and Gladio but it’s still the same setup. 

I hope you enjoy it! :3

Noctis: (Mr. Awkward-But-Trying™)

Aah shit, I forgot my phone in his bedroom..” Noctis’ S/O thought to themselves as they rose from the couch in his luxurious living room. 

Although they had only been dating for a week, they were already having sleepovers. Innocent sleepovers - cuddly sleepovers with lots of adorable moments. Not too much touching as of yet and definitely nothing going further than that.
The second they carelessly strode into his room, their eyes luckily focused on their hands for a moment, Noctis blushed furiously and his eyes widened. He grabbed the first object he could find to hide Noctis Jr. It so happened to be the towel he clutched onto.
His S/O lifted their eyes from their hands and were greeted by an embarrassed, tomato red and completely naked prince. They also blushed right away and an awkward silence filled the room. They couldn’t move, he couldn’t move. The whole situation was embarrassing and an absolute shock to both. Noctis didn’t expect to be disturbed and his S/O didn’t expect to see him naked. They both stood still, only stared at each other. 

Don’t look down.. Don’t let your eyes wander,” his S/O thought, biting their lip hard. 

And then their eyes slowly traveled down his body, their cheeks becoming crimson red. He was hot, they couldn’t tear their eyes away from him.
Minutes passed by in which they only stared at each other, then his S/O finally broke the silence. 

Um.. Nice..!.. Uh.. Wait. No. I mean.. It’s not-..you’re..- that’s not.. Uh.. I.. I’ll..“ they stuttered, attempting to say some words but their eyes were fixated on his six pack. 

After shaking their head really quick, forcing their thoughts to wander off into a different direction, they stormed out of the room. In their rush, they almost stumbled over their feet and even forgot to close the door but they somehow found their way back to the couch.

Oh my god he’s so hot.. He’s SO hot,“ they thought, their blush not decreasing a tiny bit.

They switched on the TV, tried to focus on watching the cartoon that was playing but it didn’t work, it was to no avail. He. Was. Too. Hot.

I can’t even..“ they whispered as they covered their face to hide their blush. 

Are you okay?“ Noctis asked, sneaking up to them and plumping down beside them. 

S-sur-.. Sure,“ they stammered, peeping through their hands to check if he was still naked.

Noctis ran a hand through his hand and chuckled, the embarrassment still very obvious, written all over his face. Regardless of that, he gently pulled on his S/O’s hands in an attempt to remove them. 

It’s okay.. I .. I mean. I.. I assume.. You’ll eventually see me.. That way.. Anyway, right? It’s.. Normal,“ he tried to make them feel better by just furiously blushing all over again. 

Noctis, stooop,“ they shook their head rapidly, trying to get the images out of their head. 

Once he saw their red face, he couldn’t help but smile. Both of them were endlessly embarrassed. At least he was dressed now, so it was easier to speak to him. In order to help them calm down, he placed a chaste kiss on their cheek.

You’re adorable,“ he mumbled, squeezing their hand gently. 

And you’re ho-” they almost blurted out, immediately covering their mouth as their eyes widen.

Noctis laughed from embarrassment, running a hand along his neck to help ease his tensed up muscles.

Well.. Uh.. I’m glad you think that way. You’re pretty hot, too,” he tried to be smooth but he really only made it worse.

Graaah Noctis, noo,” they groaned, sliding their hand up to cover their eye and cheek area again. 

Don’t hide your blush, it’s cute,” he stated, removing that hand as well. 

This is embarrassing.. I’m sorry I walked in on you,” they apologized, avoiding eye contact.

“It’s fine, don’t worry,” he assured them, placing a gentle kiss on their forehead.

(There’s a read more here, just in case it doesn’t show up)

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hamelin-born  asked:

Remember when you mention an Alice in Wonderland AU to me a little while ago? Well, now I can't get rid of the mental image of Newt as the Cheshire Cat (he tends to vanish when no one's looking), Original Percival Graves as Alice ('I don't want to go among mad people!') and Grindelwald as the Queen of Hearts ('OFF WITH HER HEAD!').

YES. Oh my god, the idea of Percival as Alice is so adorable to me, because he’d be the grumpiest Alice ever, oh my God. 

“That,” Newt says, pointing at a tiny spot on the wall, “Is the door you’re looking forward.”

Graves just blinks at the strange cat-man incredulously before walking over to the spot on the wall and bending over at his waist, hands on knees, to peer at the miniature door that was indeed embedded in the wall. He blinked, once, because what the fuck, before straightening quite regally and waving one hand at the door - presenting it to Newt.

“It’s a bit small, don’t you think?”

“No,” Newt says, “You’re just a bit too big.”

Something flashes merrily in Newt’s cat-slitted eye, and suddenly the world around them is growing - up, up, up. There’s a brief moment where Graves thinks finally, he’s doing something useful with his strange magic and making the door the right size, only…why isn’t just the door getting bigger?

It’s around the point when the table top suddenly raises above his head and not Newt’s that he realizes what’s happening. 

He’s shrinking. Rapidly

Shrinking until the door is the perfect size and he himself no bigger than a mouse. 

“Newt!” Graves shouts, “What the fuck?!” 

“Now you’re the perfect size!” Newt says cheerfully as he comes to kneel beside Graves, eclipsing the tiny man in his shadow. “Perfect for that door. Perfect for play.”

It’s only then that Graves notices that Newt’s pupils have expanded drastically, huge wide balls in his eyes that drown out his hazel until there’s nothing left but a sliver of color. Were it not for his aunt’s cats, he wouldn’t understand what that meant.

But he did.

“No, Newt,” he says sternly, hoping against hope he didn’t sound half as squeaky as he thought he did. Above him, Newt pouted fiercely - only for that pout to slowly slide back up into a smile.

“All work and no play makes Percival Graves a dull boy,” Newt grins, and then he’s disappearing in a fit of strangely purple stripes again and vanished. Graves twisted this way and that, certain the strange cat-man wasn’t gone, heart pounding furiously.

“This isn’t funny, Newt!”

“Funny is just a matter of perspective,” Newt says, only it’s a whisper in his ear, and suddenly there’s hands wrapping around his waist from behind - the same size as his own - and lips at the nape of his throat. Then teeth.

Newt bites him and he yelps.


He struggles to free himself, but Newt just licks a hot, apologetic path across the impression of teeth in Graves’ skin and kisses his shoulder.

“I’ll play nice,” Newt begs between kisses. “I promise. You owe me, anyhow, for the door.”

“You shrunk me!” Graves exclaims, fighting to stop the hands slowly reaching for his waist band. Slapping at the tail curling strangely tight around his thigh. 

“Semantics,” Newt purrs. “Plus, it’s not often we get a human in Wonderland. I’m afraid you’re an opportunity I just can’t resist.”

A meeting of the Sans
  • sans1 has just created the room
  • sans2 has joined the room
  • sans1: hey sans.
  • sans2: hi sans.
  • sans1: any change over in your timeline?
  • sans2: eh. not really. the kid keeps botching his genocide run.
  • sans1: they still haven't given up on that, have they?
  • sans2: in a way. they always stop at my bro, thank god. speaking of, how is he on your end? you got a pacifist run, right?
  • sans1: yeah. he's studying for his permit. undyne is teaching him the ropes.
  • sans2: niiiiiice. what caught on fire this time?
  • sans3 has joined the room
  • sans1: nothing, but they did manage to destroy an old warehouse the other day. we've been told we're saving the city millions by letting them practice in destruction zones.
  • sans3: hey sans and sans. talking about papyrus?
  • sans1: hey, sans. yeah, post-pacifist and learning to drive from undyne.
  • sans3: nice. what caught on fire this time?
  • sans1: nothing.
  • sans3: really?
  • sans2: i know, i'm so proud of him.
  • sans3: hey sans. still on botched genocide?
  • sans2: yeah. hope the kid gives up soon, it's giving me a heart attack every time they approach papyrus.
  • sans3: yeah... god i miss him.
  • sans1: don't tell me. genocide?
  • sans3: the kid's taking a break from being dunked on.
  • sans2: how many times have you won?
  • sans3: 107. i know it's only a matter of time, but isn't that approaching the record?
  • sans1: dude, i think the record was 618.
  • sans4 has joined the room
  • sans3: oh man, really? so much for my record.
  • sans4: hey guys. dunking record?
  • sans3: yup. 107.
  • sans4: dude, nice.
  • sans3: oh, actually make that 108. brb
  • sans3 has left the room
  • sans2: christ how does he keep that up?
  • sans1: i hear the sanses in the genocide runs get numb a lot faster.
  • sans2: that's hard to believe for me. i still break into a cold sweat when my papyrus is facing the kid, and he always backs down in my timeline.
  • sans4: they're still at that?
  • sans2: yeah. can we move on to a lighter topic of conversation?
  • sans4: ah man sans, i didn't mean to rattle your bones or anything.
  • sans1: tibia honest, i didn't wanna make light of your situation.
  • sans2: heh. want me to pull papyrus in here? he'd hate this.
  • sans5 has joined the room
  • sans4: nah. he deserves a break every once in awhile.
  • sans5: hey guys. can't stay for long, about to head out. just wanted to check in.
  • sans1: hey sans. what's the rush?
  • sans5: date.
  • sans2: oooooooooh
  • sans1: oh oh oh oh
  • sans4: c'mon spill the beans man
  • sans5: heh, alright. post pacifist, toriel.
  • sans4: i can relate. i'm with toriel in my timeline, too.
  • sans5: how long?
  • sans4: about two years, now. first date on your end?
  • sans5: that obvious?
  • sans4: i can't even see you and i can tell you're rattling your bones.
  • sans2: wait, who's toriel?
  • sans1: the lady behind the door.
  • sans1: let's focus on what's important right now. namely, embarrassing sans before he goes on his first date.
  • sans5: wait. what.
  • sans4: i agree totally. hey sans, toriel really likes touching the rib cage. just saying.
  • sans5: oh
  • sans4: and watch it, she's a cuddler. like, you've seen how she hugs frisk? just wait until she gets her paws on you. like being wrapped in a thick, furry blanket.
  • sans5: oooooooooh
  • sans4: and if it goes well, she has this really cute dress that
  • sans5: i came here to have a good time and i'm honestly feeling so attacked right now
  • sans2: guys if i laugh any harder i'll wake papyrus up
  • sans4: alright alright. seriously though, she prefers white wine, she'll expect a kiss at the end but she'll be fine if you're too flustered, and avoid talking about asgore, unless you immediately turn it into a pun. her favorite is the "my aim is getting better" one. if she's comfortable enough to initiate that herself, you're golden. that help?
  • sans5: yeah. thanks.
  • sans4: also, she has this sweet spot right at her thigh. she'll make this adorable bleating/giggle and you know you've got the right spot.
  • sans5: okay wow it looks like time i should go
  • sans5 has left the room
  • sans4: he'll be fine.
  • sans1: so toriel, huh? weird.
  • sans4: why's that?
  • sans1: honestly, i can't see myself with anyone but mettaton.
  • sans4: oh my god, mettaton?
  • sans2: dude. dude. whoa.
  • sans1: what? what's wrong with that?
  • sans4: my papyrus is dating mettaton in my timeline.
  • sans1: your papyrus is in a relationship? mine's aro.
  • sans2: and meanwhile i'm sitting in a timeline where papyrus just has a huge crush on the rectangle.
  • sans6 has joined the room
  • sans1: that's just... bizarre.
  • sans2: and chatting with parallel timeline versions of yourself isn't?
  • sans1: point taken.
  • sans6: hey guys. what's up?
  • sans4: quick, who are you in a relationship with?
  • sans6: uh... gaster?
  • sans2: ...
  • sans4: uh, ew.
  • sans1: whoa.
  • sans6: hey man, don't kinkshame me bro.
  • sans4: dude, he's my dad in my timeline?
  • sans6: your dad? freaky.
  • sans2: oh you poor soul. he was just my lab partner in my timeline.
  • sans1: it's... weird for me.
  • sans4: okay, i'm really curious. how weird?
  • sans1: well, "gaster" is actually the name me and pap used to call ourselves before he split into us two.
  • sans6: oh yeah, i've met a sans like that.
  • sans2: i sure haven't. when does he get on?
  • sans6: time is relative, but i think early morning?
  • sans2: ah. that explains it.
  • sans4: yeah, the only reason i get out of bed in the mornings is because toriel practically drags me out on my feet.
  • sans2: papyrus does the same for me.
  • sans6: so... wait. does this mean, from a multiversal sense, i'm engaging in both incest and selfcest?
  • sans1: hey, this is a judgement free zone dude.
  • sans3 has joined the room
  • sans4: you're the one who said not to kinkshame you.
  • sans3: back. 108 now. man i walked into a weird conversation.
  • sans2: c'mon sans, we've had weirder.
  • sans6: wait, 108 what?
  • sans4: speak for yourself. i'm getting weird mental images with me and gaster, now.
  • sans3: dunks. end of genocide route.
  • sans2: hey, remember when amalgamate sans entered the chat?
  • sans4: okay, i'll admit that was weirder.
  • sans6: and really sad. i think that was the only time alphys ever joined the chat.
  • sans1: yeah. i wonder how they're doing?
  • sans6: amalgamate sans or alphys?
  • sans1: both.
  • Core Frisk has joined the room
  • sans6: well hopefully
  • sans2: wait who's this?
  • sans1: frisk? wait, what?
  • sans4: oh, hey frisk.
  • Core Frisk: Hello Sanses. Sorry, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?
  • sans6: uh. hey kid. this is a little hard to explain, but
  • Core Frisk: Don't bother. I'm not your Frisk, anyway.
  • sans4: yeah, he's a frisk that fell into the core and now he's kinda omniscient.
  • sans1: wait, what?
  • sans3: whoa.
  • sans6: and gaster was worried about nearly falling into the core.
  • sans1: he had every right to be.
  • Core Frisk: I just wanted to pop in and saying the particular sans amalgamate you were talking about a moment ago is doing fine, in a manner of speaking. He insists that he's happy so long as Papyrus is with him.
  • sans1: that's a relief, i guess.
  • Core Frisk: Oh, and Sans? The one who's been married to Toriel for two years?
  • sans4: yeah?
  • Core Frisk: Just a heads up, sans' first date went fine, but he's plotting a revenge prank on you.
  • sans4: wow kid, that's real cool of you to let me know.
  • Core Frisk: Don't thank me. He asked me to pull the prank myself. Undyne is going to be hunting for you to get her eyepatches back.
  • sans4: what.
  • Core Frisk: if you start running now, you may just get a head-start! :-)
  • sans4: ...
  • sans4 has left the room
  • sans3: that was ice cold, kid.
  • sans6: and amazing. teach me your ways, o master of pranks.
  • Core Frisk: Aw, well I did learn from the best. Namely, you. You're gonna teach me that one in a few months when I visit you.
  • sans6: niiiiiice.
  • sans2: hey, kid? you know all possibilities across all the timelines, right?
  • Core Frisk: Yes. Your Frisk will finally quit at the King Papyrus ending. It'll be lonely for him, but so long as you're with him, he'll be fine. You're a great second-hand man and an even better brother.
  • sans2: ...i gotta run, guys. i, uh... i gotta tell my bro i love him.
  • sans2 has left the room
  • sans3: oh, same here. kid's back for more. don't tell me if i end up beating the record, i wanna find out for myself.
  • sans3 has left the room
  • sans1: ...so, does he?
  • Core Frisk: Where would the fun be if I told you that?
  • sans1: fair enough. alright, i'd better head out. i need to go read papyrus his bedtime story.
  • sans6: and then have fun times with mettaton?
  • sans1: i'm ace.
  • sans6: oh.
  • sans1: ...i don't want to know what you do with gaster, do I?
  • Core Frisk: No, you really don't.
  • sans1: heh. alright, goodnight frisk. goodnight sans.
  • Core Frisk: Night, Sans!
  • sans6: night sans
  • sans1 has left the room
  • sans6 has left the room
  • sans7 has joined the room
  • sans7: i missed the chat again, didn't i?
  • Core Frisk: Yeah. Outertale, right?
  • sans7: ?
  • Core Frisk: Space?
  • sans7: oh. yeah. why?
  • Core Frisk: Well... I've always wanted to try out a jetpack.
  • sans7: you can jump across timelines, right?
  • Core Frisk: You HAVE met me, haven't you?
  • Core Frisk: That was a rhetorical question. I know that you've met me. Omniscient and all.
  • sans7: heh. get over here, i'll grab a pack for you.
  • Core Frisk: =D
  • Core Frisk has left the room
  • sans7 has left the room

magnolia-chico  asked:

Do you know any good inukag fanfics where inuyasha can't control his jealousy? I LOVE your blog btw❤️

Originally posted by inukagstuff

Wow like one of my favorite tropes ever. Gosh. There are so many I don’t know where to begin. Hmm I’m not sure what constitutes as ‘can’t control his jealousy’ but I do know of fics where he is jealous!!

What am I Supposed to Say? by Ai2000 is a cute oneshot!


Jealous by Ayster I know I know  but because you asked for jealous Inuyasha this fic just popped up in my head. I mean I know it’s popular and stuff. VERY NSFW and very OOC IMO. I still enjoy it a lot!~

Finders Keepers by RainFlame this is an adorable oneshot. I just LOVE Inuyasha jealous over Kagome’s attention in general. What a needy guy XD

TouchofPixieDust is QUEEN of making me feel the torment Inuyasha goes through when even another guy looks her way. And how his low self esteem is his own worst enemy sometimes. 
I Don’t Belong Here it’s a small moment in this oneshot. But it’s powerful IMO. At least to me. She only says it in passing but Inuyasha has selective hearing and that’s all he cares about. 
Mirror Images and Touching Mirror Images Inuyasha is at an all time low for his self esteem. Well he has the resignation that Kagome has to go back and yet he gets to angry and then very sulky. AAH it’s hard to explain without fangirling and telling you all my feelings. Inuyasha’s part is pretty subtle but they are moments that stand out to me and I LIVE for them. 
Kagome’s Baby LOL just read the first few chapters after Kagome announces to the group she’s having a baby and it’s not hers. He’s about to kill someone. (it’s not what you think this fic XD) 
Mine First IDK what it’s about a needy Inuyasha that’s so Kagome-centeric but it has me so weak. 
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not Okay but when he finds out what the game means he’s so worried. 
A Moments Hesitation please oh god. When Inuyasha decides to take a step back in her life and then he thinks over how he doesn’t deserves her yet he can’t live without seeing her everyday. He stomach churns at the thought of her being with someone else yet…he doesn’t deserve that life. It hurts so goooood.
(Is it obvious I’m deep in love with this author? Cause she can do no wrong and her stuff is gold. All of it. Now I could keep going cause talking about her fics never gets old to me but this list is getting long XD) 

Give Me Love - an InuKagAU by EnelyaTheSmall the whole plot is set into motion because of his jealousy. 

A Sealed Fate by ajoy3 is one of my favorite fics and because there’s another guy involved Inuyasha doesn’t take it well. I suggest reading it cause it makes my heart hurt and yet I’ve never loved more. 

He’s My Girl by Karaumea makes me laugh because he gets so jealous and there’s nothing he can do about it but try to make the other guy look bad. 

And thank you!! I’m so glad you like my blog! I’m so honored aufha;skghljg

For settingfiretoourinsides-forfun and 3 anons

4. Teacher/ Single Parent AU

I’m writing things for this

Parents’ days were either fun or a right pain in the arse. As a year one teacher, Lily didn’t have much to talk about with most parents and in her mind that was all well and fine. Some parents were all smile and laughs and let you say your part quickly and leave. Those were her favourites to deal with. Others liked to sit and talk and talk and talk. And they could talk about everything and anything. Their child was their absolute pride and joy and they made sure that the world knew about their every achievement. That was nice and all, but Lily wasn’t particularly keen on sitting down, smiling and nodding at the animated couple in front of her for the past twenty minutes or so. Right now they were talking about how neat their daughter’s handwriting was for a five year old. She wanted to bash her head into the desk.

Finally- finally- they stood up. “Time sure flies,” the man laughed, helping his wife out of her chair. “Emily has piano classes at four.”

“She’s such a lovely pianist,” the mother cooed, pinching her daughter’s cheeks. Lily kept on smiling and nodding. Emily gave her a toothy grin.

“We must be going. It’s been a pleasure Miss Evans,” he said, sticking out his hand for her to shake. “I hope we can do this soon again.”

Oh god I hope not, Lily frantically thought, even as she continued to smile and shook each of the parents’ hands. “It has,” she lied.

A few more pleasantries were exchanged amongst them as they headed towards the door. Lily continued to wave right until the sole of Emily’s pink shoes disappeared. She immediately slumped against the desk, delicately pinching the bridge of her nose as she repeatedly hit her head against the wooden surface.

The sound of the chair scraping against the linoleum classroom floor a few seconds later caused her to snap back up. A man with wildly messy hair was sitting across the desk from her, grinning widely. He was dressed in an old t shirt of a band that Lily used to love, dark jeans and converse, seeming to be no older than her twenty five years.

“You must be Harry’s dad,” she said immediately, stretching a hand across to shake with his. A light blush decorated her cheeks as she realised that this man had just walked in on her banging her head against the desk. He seemed to realise so as well as he smirked a bit. “I can tell by the hair.”

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Episode 67: Osiris has fallen almost as drastically as the animation standards womp womp

… part 2!

Yami has just DEFEATED GOD by turning Malik’s own “infinite combo” against him, although he’s not looking very happy about it.

Neither is Malik…

Or the doll….

Or even Seto…

(who used up his Positive Emotions quota for the day at being excited when Yami figured it out and has no enthusiasm left to spare for seeing him actually win)

So it’s left up to Mokuba to celebrate the victory!

Damn right he did, kid!

Yugi STILL HASN’T SHOWN UP btw. He’s definitely napping. Maybe he stayed up late looking at porn or something and accidentally dozed off early on in the duel?! #we’veallbeenthere #theduelsarealittletedious #sorrynotsorry #fightme

Anyway Mokuba continues to be the onLY ONE ON POINT HERE.  Yami just stares at the doll. Kaiba just stares at Yami. Malik stares at Domino City. Rishid stares at Malik. The doll stares ceaselessly and unseeingly forward at its unending and meaningless existence, I suppose. :/

Mokuba, on the other hand, actually SAYS THINGS and DOES THINGS and tries to engage the doll, like the adorable dote that he is.

Then gives up, efficiently loots the body, like the Kaiba that he is, and hands Osiris (and the Official Kaiba Corp Battle City Tournament Puzzle Card ™ ) to Yami.

Who is still totally spaced out.


And then, ohmygod, Kaiba comes to “congratulate” Yami, but sadly he has also burned through his Not Being A Dick quota for the day in encouraging Yami not to give up so we’re back to, “I’m glad you didn’t lose buT NOT BECAUSE I LIKE YOU.”



Kaiba gets so excited, although in a gruff, aggressive kind of way, but sadly for him, Malik snaps out of his staring fit quicker than Yami does and reactivates the doll, interrupting Yami and Kaiba’s intense staring match…

… where they’re both standing with their hips forward and, you know, I’m not saying “like their crotches are magnetically drawn to one another” … but I’m thinking it really really hard.

The doll suddenly stands.

Scaring the shit out of Mokuba but the other two are, for real, too busy staring into each other’s eyes to react, until it starts talking and then - I am not making this up - they both STAND NORMALLY AGAIN.

I made a gif to share this with you. Watch their hips.


(Also I’m getting WAY BETTER AT MAKING GIFS you guys!)

Anyway, my possibly excessive interest in these cartoon dorks’ hip movements, aside…. Malik is closing in on the city and he wants to brag about how amazing he is at multi-tasking; he can see three images at once….

It’s pretty cool that he can actually see him!

“Through what we might call my default eyes.”

(He’s also timed this very well! He has excellent time-management skills, especially for a teenager!)

And the third, through the eyes of a Ghoul in the city…

“You know, Stumpy Pensioner, The One Girl, Terrifyingly Large Mouth Guy, and Abnormally Small Head Guy.” #itsliketheanimatorsdidntevencare

(Jounouchi’s pulling that face because Anzu’s still teasing him for the abortive Kaiba duel, trying to get him to admit he was relieved Kaiba didn’t actually go through with it and crush him under Obilisk’s massive fist.)

Malik proves he’s also an excellent judge of character because he doesn’t just threaten the nerd herd, he specifically says that if it wasn’t for Yami’s actions…

Now if there’s one thing that’ll make Yami take on responsibility for everyone else’s safety and rashly throw himself in danger to save them, it’s … literally anything, he will just do that by default, that’s his thing, he’s probably doing it right now, wherever he is. But if you want to be extra sure, you can imply that it’s his fault, his battle to fight, and he’ll take on that responsibility even faster and more completely.

Yami says if Malik hurts his friends, he’ll never forgive him and Malik pulls a “hey that’s my thing!”

*stamps foot*

Then, as though to prove that he’s a toddler at heart, he just fucking drops the doll face first on the ground.

Yami: … 

Mokuba: … 

Seto: … So…. are we duelling, or…?

Seto: … Is that a no…?

Seto: … duEL ME!!

(Way to run, there, Yami, doesn’t at all look like you’re skipping off into the distance.)

(Also that is 100% not the way into town.)

(The stairs were RIGHT THERE.)

Seto’s completely disgusted that Yami would go and attempt to prevent his friends’ deaths instead of staying and playing a card game with him.

Yeah! Just like you did, asshole, when Jounouchi challenged you to a duel and you ran off because SOMETHING YOU THOUGHT WAS MORE IMPORTANT CAME UP. Except Yami didn’t even agree to the duel - unlike you - and Yami’s “thing that came up” is that his friends have been EXPLICITLY THREATENED BY A MURDERER whereas your “thing” was that there was a more interesting card game happening!!

*stamps foot*

So as Yami runs randomly around the city hoping to bump into his buddies before Malik finds them…

WHY IS EVERYONE’S FIRST INSTINCT TO JUST RUN AROUND RANDOMLY I KNOW ANZU HAS A CELL PHONE Yugi wake up and tell your ghost-boyfriend to be sensible!

And meanwhile, Malik gets off his Totally Cool Boat and gets on his Totally Cool Motorbike!




This kid’s fashion sense tho… In fairness. He has literally been living under a rock. And he does somehow work it.

Recipe for Disaster

(Serves 3)

Note: I would like to thank the kink meme for giving me this opportunity to create the overwrought diamond porno I never knew I always wanted to write.

Content: Not actually porn. Misunderstandings, suspicion of pale infidelity (no actual infidelity of any kind).

Be Karkat ==>

Your bloodpusher feels light when you come hive, buoyed by a day of shouting at people until they listened for once. There’s also an amazing smell wafting out of the meal block, which means that Gamzee has been baking again. You salivate like troll Pavlov’s fucking barkbeast, and it’s a disgrace how you’ve let yourself go since Gamzee moved in, all soft and domesticated, but you can’t even bring yourself to care. You’re deliriously content with your life.

The spring in your step vaporizes the moment you set foot in the meal block, because Gamzee isn’t alone in there. Jane Crocker has stopped by to visit, which isn’t unusual and would normally be cause for nothing worse than mild irritation, but she's–

She’s… holding your moirail’s hand.

Keep reading

sarcasticsun  asked:

Could you write a imagine about BTS, genre fluff/romantic/drama. In the story I want it to be a extra band member(y/n), she's "one of the boys" but she can still be a bit girly. Everyone gets along great, they treat her like a sister. Jungkook and y/n is close friends. But jk wants to be more than friends. He can't help to fall in love with her, neither can she with him. But they know they shouldn't. They have to remain their images. Maybe they can be together in secret? you decide!

Complications of idols

When my best friend is requesting :D xD

This gif makes no sense to the story what so ever, I just really love it xD


Genre: Angsty in the beginning, fluffy and hot at the end ;)))

Word count: 1 785

Summary: Romeo and Juliet of Bangtan??? xD

“Oh no! Y/N’s dead, everyone out of the way!” A loud laugh bubbled up in my chest as Taehyung, fellow band member and one of my best friends, jumped on me where I laid on the couch and proceeded to try and give me mouth to mouth. My eyes widened when I realised what he was trying to do and I panicked. With one kick from my left leg, he flipped off the couch and down on the floor.

“I’m not dead hyung, just extremely exhausted.” Despite my body and mind being laced with tiredness I laughed at how ridiculous the older boy was being. He may be two years older than me but he sure as hell barely acted like it.

“Yah, you didn’t have to be so rough.” He complained as he got up and walked away like an old man. I rolled my eyes at him and then let them close. It was currently four am at night, we had been practicing the new choreography since two pm and I’m surprised that we’re all still standing here.

“We should go over everything again.” Hoseok said from his spot against the mirrors. Jungkook and Jimin groaned as they tried to stand without falling backwards. Jimin succeeded with much difficulty but I could not say the same about Jungkook. He fell backwards against the wall as soon as he got all the weight on his feet. With a groan he slid down the wall and soon he was straight out lying on the floor with no intentions of getting up any time soon. A sigh left my lips as I got up from the couch, someone had to get him on his feet and I knew none of the boys were going to help him.

“Come on Kookie, practice isn’t over yet.” He whined at me and curled up into a ball. He looked a bit like a small puppy. I groaned, really not in the mood for his antics right now. I bent down as much as I could without all of my limbs hurting, grabbed his elbow and tried to pull him up. Damn, we may be the same age but oh my god he isn’t the lightest person ever. Why does he has to have so much muscles.

“Nooo, stop Y/N-ah.” I successfully pulled him off the floor. He stumbled straight into me. I caught him just in time with an arm around his waist and the other still on his elbow, we were way too close for comfort at the moment. His presence was like an alarm to the butterflies in my stomach, they just couldn’t calm down when he was this close to me. His breath smelled of mint and it made me dizzy, I couldn’t focus. His eyes were unfocused too and I promise we would’ve been standing like that for a long time if it wasn’t for Yoongi.

“If you’re going to start making out I will kill someone.” He grumbled. I laughed awkwardly as I stepped away from Jungkook. I quickly walked over to my spot in the middle of the dance floor and waited for the rest of them to join. Soon the music started and we were on it again. It was pretty messy this time since everyone was pretty much sleeping. It ended with Namjoon falling straight onto his face out of exhaustion. Jin was the first one by his side to help him. Mama Jin.

A couple of seconds after Joonie had fallen we noticed someone standing by the door, our manager. We were all very quick to bow down to him out of respect, making him smile. He looked at everyone’s faces with a serious expression until his eyes stopped at Jungkook.

“Jungkook, are you tired?” He asked seriously. Jungkook visibly gulped but nodded nonetheless. “I can see that. Should I expect this kind of low energy from you on stage too?” Jungkook quickly shook his head but the manager just sighed. “You are one of the better dancers in the group Jungkook, but from what I saw from this practice is that you’re slacking off.” Jungkook didn’t say anything, you shouldn’t talk back to your elders and he wasn’t about to start.

I carefully tried taking a couple of steps towards him, I wanted to comfort him so bad, but a hand in my shoulder stopped me. I looked up to see Jimin looking down at me. The look on his face was telling me to step back.

“You know you can’t do anything, and if he finds out something’s going on it will not be pretty.” He mumbled it so only I could hear what he said. I knew he was right, since we were idols we weren’t allowed to date, especially not while the fans are so dedicated as they are now. It would cause chaos. I sighed heavily and stayed put.

Manager’s rant continued for a good five more minutes and Kookie looked like a kicked puppy by the end of it. I was literally on fire and if looks could kill I promise the manager would lie in a pile on the floor by now.

He told us to go home afterwards so that we could get some rest which no one protested to. When he left, everyone started gathering water bottles and towels. One of the guys however left without saying a word. I think I don’t need to tell you who it was. Without thinking twice I followed him through the door and through the long hallway. It was very quiet, most idol groups have probably gone home hours ago but we had stayed because the dance we were going through was new. Jungkook suddenly stopped in the middle of the corridor, kicked the wall and sat down against it, head in his hands and elbows on his knees. I carefully sat down beside him, not wanting to startle him. He had been through enough for one night.

I put my arm around his shoulders and he threw himself completely into my arms. I was shocked to say the least but let him stay where he was. My arms were wrapped tightly around his now sobbing body. I hated seeing him like this, so broken and so vulnerable. Most of the time he took criticism quite well but he was way too tired and way too overworked to be able to take any of it tonight.

His sobs decreased until the only sound coming from his mouth was his heavy breathing. He tightened his arms around me and raised his head from the crook of my neck. We locked eyes and that was it, none of us could look away and slowly but surely we drew closer to each other. Soon there were just a couple of inches between our faces and the butterflies in my stomach were at it again. The familiar minty breath was once again fanning my face. His eyes shifted to my lips and all of a sudden he seemed very sure of himself. He went in for my lips but a gasp left me and I backed away, leaving his arms. I stood up and leaned against the wall, my breath heavy.

Jungkook stood up and started approaching me. I held my hand up as a sign to stop him. I needed to calm down before I did something I would regret. He sighed and leaned against the opposite wall. Then he just looked at me. I was the one to start talking once again.

“You know we can’t do that. it’s not allowed.” He laughed at that, a humorless laugh.

“What does that matter, they don’t have to know. We can keep it a secret.” I just shook my head, knowing fully well that it wasn’t so simple. “You’re not even willing to try?” Now he sounded desperate, a sad look in his eyes.

“Not when both could lose our jobs because of it.” I tried reasoning with him but that wasn’t really easy when both of us were on the verge of fainting because of the tiredness.

“Is the job that important, more important than being happy?” I didn’t answer that because I knew that he was right. I looked down at the floor, not wanting to meet his gaze, afraid that I would give in.

“Tell me you don’t want it after this.” I looked up in confusion, he was so close to me that I jumped. He had me trapped between him and the wall, I had no way to escape. There was no time for me to say anything before his lips were touching mine lightly. He inched back after the short kiss to study my face, as if looking for any sign of hesitation. I looked back him, debating what to do in my mind. Then I grew really, really frustrated.

“Fuck it.” I grumbled, took hold of his neck and pulled him into me. As soon as his lips brushed mine he responded. The kiss was fast, hungry, both out of angriness and frustration. He pressed me more into the wall until there was no space between us. His heart was beating so fast that I could feel it and I’m sure my heart was the same. His tongue found it’s way into my mouth, causing the kiss to pick up even more speed. Finally we reached a natural stop, ending it with a few small, sweet kisses. He had his hands on the side of my face, stroking his thumb over my cheekbones. I shivered at his touch.

“Can’t we give us a chance? It won’t matter if the guys know, they will just be happy. We can keep it from the company. They won’t find out I promise.” He saw the hesitation in my eyes. “Do you really think I’ll be able to resist you after what just happened?” I laughed at that, making him smile. “I love your laugh, you know that.”

“You’re making it really hard saying no, you know that.”

“Then don’t.” He leaned in again so our noses were touching. I smiled at him and just pecked his lips. He had my answer now.

His smile grew even bigger and he picked me up and spun me around causing me to laugh a little too loud.

“What is going on out here?” A very tired Yoongi appeared in the hallway, glaring at us for making so much noise. Kookie let me down.

“Nothing.” We said at the same time, giggling at the ridiculousness.

Yoongi clearly didn’t believe us. However, he just grumbled and went back to the practice room, too tired to even bother.


  • psychic: *reading my mind*
  • me: here we go, the whiskering begins. gimme your face. no pressure. nose pressure ahahahhaha pa ching and pa zam. your nose is quite a nice texture today. today? that face is not helping. no, no, no, no. how do I look? pretty great. fabulous. aw aw. whiskening achieved. let's answer some Qs. that's an X. you had one job, phil. *clapping* what happens in the basement of google? it's where vloggers are born. mother. would you rather have barbed wire eyelashes, ow, or grass hair? uh, grass hair. why? get a tiny mower, different style everyday. brrr brrr brrr. is canada real? uh, no. it's a fictional country, isn't it? I was aboot to say. *finger snapping* advertise the item closest to you in the most disturbing way you can. it's actually a pair of my underwear which was on the floor. that is your underwear? oh my god. underwear? watch out for an under-scare! disturb not make the worst pun ever. sorry. do a creepy face! *dramatic music* oh wow, that's horrific *weird noises* nooo, no no no no. phil, sing the first song that comes into your head in a scottish accent. oh, I don't know what song is in my head. what the what was that? ow. rekt. no. that was like a russian no. what the fuck was that? there's a russian man in my stomach. I think phil's trying to drop hints that's he's a cannibal, guys. rrr. play tug of war with phil's stress mushroom. what is the stress mushroom? they mean this baby. no, not that. I hate that. No! *struggling* no *more struggling noises* Oh. there's wet stuff in it- OH MY GOD -what is this?-WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME? WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENED? rest in peace, disturbing mushroom. do the next question in dan's room. invent a new swear word and use it in a sentence. alright, ch-chanksplooned. alright, go on then. yeah, I chanksplooned your mom's face. do we wanna know what does chanksplooned-ok. what would be written on your tombstone? oh phil, there was never a better king of the universe. for god's sake. what's on yours, dan? ugh. dan, you're a penguin with rabies and phil, you're a mouse that's constipated. *weird noises* have a staring contest with dan while barking like dogs. whoever laughs first, wins. (?) 3, 2, 1. *barking noises* AH HA HA. y'all laughed. invent something that not one person would ever use. a bed made out of smashed glass. I wouldn't use it. fair enough. phil, sing the john cena theme while dan pretends to be john cena. *john cena theme* ow haha ow I knew that was coming *laughter* do an impression of a dying goose *weird noise* what the hell was- oh my god. *laughter* *weird noise* make a duet about ladders. ladders ladders ladders ladders ladders ladders ladders- who would(?) you step on them and you climb-ladders ladders ladders ladders- they're made of metal, they go up-ladders ladders ladders- if you're a fireman, they're really high. laddeeeerss. ladders ep. that's the symbol of our band. everyone put out their ladder hands. yeah, that's what the crowd's gonna be doing to our concerts. YEAH, LADDERS AH. you just broke the sound barrier. that's what happens when you go fast, you idiot. what the f- oh my god. become a season. oh oh wha what was that? oh, it's spring. you were birthing something. phil, what vegetable should be king? the op-carrot? scroll through your camera roll without looking, choose a random picture and explain the story. scroll scroll scroll STOP. I- I was witnessing nature in action. and taking sneaky photos of it, you perv. HAHAHA. what is happening in this photo? it looks like I'm in a public toilet mid-blink. wow. *bad beatboxing* dan, you're a nacho. phil, you're the salsa. make fanfic. I'm just so dry and crusty and until I just get inside you and submerged myself in your red juices. DIP ME - I can't get into myself-DIP ME DIP ME DIP ME AH DIP DIP AHH AHHH AAAHHH AHHH I'M COMPLETE MMMM MMM. stop it. let's all take a moment to just forget that happened. what is your favorite number of the alphabet? seventy-L. how dry is your wenis? wait, I know what your wenis is! ayee, ayee. it's this. mine's pretty soft. this is your wenis. let me stroke your wenis. that is a smooth wenis. tickle my wenis? *laughter* pretty soft as well. damn, guys. moisturized wenii. ah, let's just move on. let's move on. say a really unerotic word in a sexy voice and then lick your lips. exhaust pipe. OH *disgusted voice* OH I FEEL VIOLATED. concrete. *laughter* nooo. play the spoons. my grandma actually used to play the spoons so, prepare yourselves. *metal sounds* spoons. look up friendship yoga and imitate the first image. what? what the hell is that? HOW ARE WE GONNA DO THAT? so, we sit on our butts, not on our backs and make sure you're kinda like resting on your butt then feet together and then hands. reach. ah, I got one. and the other one. ow. ok. wait, wait, wait. alright now, over to the top. friendship. ow. *laughter* ow ow oh my god I pulled my leg oh oh. we have a very low friendship level otherwise that clearly would've worked. disaster. phil, reenact the photo of chris pratt and his raptors using house plants. I've got this. oh, god. here it is. ok, phil, very well done. *clapping* I'm so proud. that's pretty- you have a problem though. you seriously- I am chris plant. oh, did you just? do a trust exercise. no, no, no that's not a good idea. I'm actually scared. phil, you better-I'm gonna catch you. fall. oh my god. fall. AH OH OH MY GOD OH OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH. your scream was incredible. YOU CAUGHT ME. I did. I DIDN'T DIE. Yeah. let's end this right now. So, there we go. thumbs up for another year of phil is not on fire. I'm quite shocked that I actually lived through this video-yeah- it was quite dangerous. You can click on phil's face to subscribe to his channel or my face to subscribe to dan. or click our bellies to subscribe to danandphilgames. is that a thing? give em a little tickle. ok. also, there's loads of new stuff on dan and phil shop so check the out- check that out- there's a link below. and we will see you guys next year. yeahh. i mean, we are gonna make videos but until this, the whiskers will return- there, there will be another of this. ACHOO. uh, sorry. I think that that's a good time to end it. Goodbye. *slow motion screaming*
  • psychic: what the actual fuck
Fan Interpretation of Matsuri Hino’s Thought Process

NOTE: I have no evidence this did (or didn’t) happen. Intended to be humorous/ mildly depressing. If you feel strongly about Kaname, you’ve been forewarned.

Every time I think about Matsuri Hino-sensei’s thought process while  writing Kaname’s character, I can only imagine her being like:

Ok, here we go, let’s make this guy subtly (but not too subtly) this story’s villain.

What color scheme?  Oh yeah black, all dark hues and red.  Maybe even a chessboard.  Everyone will pick up on that.  

Wait, people think that’s sexy?  

Well, I guess… but he’s supposed to be a villain, not just a dark character!

Ok what about showing him as two-faced and universally feared?  Nice to Yuuki but cold to everyone else?  Throw in some corporal punishment, erasing Yuuki’s memories, some canon evidence even Yuuki is frightened by him, the graphic murder of a somewhat sympathetic character.  They have to see what I’m hinting at now, right?

Whoa, whoa WHAT? Really?  His fans say he’s just being protective?

All right, how about this: I’ll show him being even more antagonistic and condescending towards the other male romantic lead, have him change Yuuki into a vampire without warning or seeking her permission, he’ll tell her they’re siblings, then he’ll single-handedly take down the entire vampire government with no clear plan for reconstruction, murder all the vampire representatives, and manipulate aforementioned rival romantic lead into killing his pureblood uncle because he can’t do it himself.  Plus I’ll even throw in some parallels between the disturbed uncle and Kaname and a few images comparing Kaname to a demon.  Oh and now Kaname and Yuuki are brother and sister. Anything yet?

Ugh, wth?  Now they think he’s a sexy protective misunderstood rebel onii-sama?  No villainous vibes at all?  

All right, I can do this.  He’ll spirit the leading lady away to an isolated mansion where he won’t let her out for over a year.  I’ll show her absolutely miserable and out of character all because he says he likes her better that way.  She’ll feel guilty, scared, thirsty, and alone.  When she gets a taste of freedom,  goes against his wishes and almost bites her childhood friend in a delirious/ starved/ injured state I’ll even have him punish her for it!  Ha!  Oh and he lied to her about them being siblings, he’s really her great great great grandfather or something and her real brother’s been dead all along.  Not cute now, right?  

Oh God.  Some people only feel sorry for him?  They don’t find any of this even a little bit disturbing?   He’s supposed to be a tragic villain for crying out loud! Am I being too subtle for them?

Let’s ramp it up even more.  Kaname will tell Yuuki he’ll kill her if she leaves, or she’ll have to kill him!  Then he’ll go off on a pureblood genocide mission and (kind of) kill Aido’s dad!  I’ll even have him get Ruka (you know, that girl I have following him around like a loyal lovelorn puppy) to use her abilities to trick Yuuki into thinking Zero wants to kill her as a distraction.  Then, despite Ruka loyally following Kaname without protest for two dozen chapters, she’ll have a last minute change of heart and defend Zero from Kaname’s attack, nearly killing her in the process!  Oh, then Kaname will leave her behind.  Nothing yet?  How about making Kaname responsible for all of Zero’s suffering!  He tore the lovers apart out of jealousy!  Yuuki still feels guiily and wants to die because of everything Kaname’s doing in her name/ for her ‘protection!’

Who could POSSIBLY think any of this is swoon worthy?

They do?  No. No.  I can’t take this, I’m running out of ideas.  

Ok, Hail Mary pass. Yuuki will kiss Zero and realize he’s the one she wants to cherish, then she’ll confess that in another life she believes they would’ve been together if their status didn’t separate them.  After that she’ll take Zero’s memories because she’s certain her only option is to kill Kaname through self sacrifice and she doesn’t want Zero to suffer without her.  Good good, people will feel sorry for Zero now that I threw in an amnesia plot device, right? Then, when Yuuki is at her most vulnerable Kaname won’t hold back.  He’ll tell her he doesn’t make her happy then sleep with the confused, hurting 17 year old to prove to her he doesn’t make her happy.  

PLEASE tell me they’ve woken up?  This isn’t even bordering on subtle anymore.  No?  Really?

I give up.  I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.  Why do people still support him?  I don’t get it.  I thought the love triangle would be resolved by now.  I only did all of this because my editors insisted and now they want me to end it.  I threw in every villainous action and quality I could think of, to the point of making some of this guy’s behavior incomprehensible, even to me. All of this, just to prove how bad and undesirable he is, and there are people out there who are still romanticizing him as a wounded, tragic hero?

That’s it, his heart’s going into the furnace.  He’ll ship Zeki with his dying words.  There is no way anyone can misconstrue that.


Jesus Christ, people are STILL worshiping this character?  I even admitted that I dropped the ball on this one!  Guys, I turned him into a popsicle turned amnesiac so we all could put the doom and gloom behind us.  Just because someone donates an organ out of gratitude doesn’t mean they’ve formed a mystical romantic transcendent connection with the recipient. It isn’t really all that romantic.  If it was a kidney you wouldn’t feel that way.

I’m done,  Zeki’s canon. Here’s some more Zeki/Aidori/Rukain/Shima/ Daddy Zero fluff chapters cause that’s all I really wanted to draw in the end anyway.   Peace out.

Originally posted by luminous-fairytail

"american beauty" sentence starters
  • "I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world."
  • "Well, you have absolutely no interest in saving yourself."
  • "Lose my job? I didn't lose it. It's not like, 'Whoops! Where'd my job go?' I QUIT."
  • "I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast."
  • "You're right. I suck dick for money."
  • "Well, what do you say I throw in a little sexual harassment charge, to boot?"
  • "Management wants you gone by the end of the day."
  • "Your father seems to think this kind of behavior is something to be proud of."
  • "It's like God's looking right at you, just for a second, and if you're careful... you can look right back."
  • "When I was your age, I flipped burgers all summer just to be able to buy an eight-track."
  • "All I did was party and get laid. I had my whole life ahead of me."
  • "I rule!"
  • "She's not your friend. She's just someone you use to feel better about yourself."
  • "It's never too late to get it back."
  • "I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated."
  • "You think you're the only one who's sexually frustrated here?"
  • "Both my wife/husband and daughter/son think I'm this gigantic loser and they're right."
  • "I'm looking for the least possible amount of responsibility."
  • "You should see me fuck. I'm the best piece of ass in three States."
  • "Can you prove that you didn't offer to save my job if I let you blow me?"
  • "Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well?"
  • "I don't think we can be friends anymore."
  • "Just don't fuck my dad, all right? Please?"
  • "You're way too uptight about sex."
  • "I want to look good naked!"
  • "Someone really should just put him out of his misery."
  • "I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing out here."
  • "You don't really think [name] and I were..."
  • "Want me to kill him for you?"
  • "I need a father who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's gonna spray his shorts whenever I bring a girlfriend home from school."
  • "I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now leave me alone."
  • "Remember those posters that said, 'Today is the first day of the rest of your life'? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die."
  • "She hates me. She hates you, too."
  • "There's plenty of joy in my life."
  • "Go fuck yourself, psycho!"
  • "My parents are coming tonight. They're trying to, you know, take an active interest in me."
  • "Gross. I hate it when my mom does that."
  • "Fuck me, Your Majesty!"
  • "I was hoping you'd give me a bath. I'm very, very dirty."
  • "You ungrateful little brat! Just look at everything you have."
  • "I'm so sorry for the way things look around here."
  • "I think using psychotropic drugs is a very positive example to set for our daughter."
  • "Who are you looking for?"
  • "This isn't life, it's just stuff. And it's become more important to you than living."
  • "There's nothing worse than being ordinary."
  • "Everything that's meant to happen does."
  • "You're one to talk, you bloodless, money-grubbing freak."
  • "Welcome to America's weirdest home videos."
  • "Oh well, all right, let's all sell our souls and work for Satan because it's more convenient that way."
  • "I'm sensing a real distance growing between you and [name]."
  • "My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell."
  • "Don't you mess with me, mister, or I'll divorce you so fast it'll make your head spin!"
  • "Your mom's the one who's embarrassing. What a phony. But, your dad's actually kind of cute."
  • "If he just worked out a little, he'd be hot."
  • "You don't get to tell me what to do ever again."
  • "I'm serious. He just pulled down his pants and yanked it out."
  • "Never underestimate the power of denial."
  • "Are you trying to look unattractive today?"
  • "How dare you speak to me that way in front of her."
  • "Jesus, what is it with you?"
  • "I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist."
  • "Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in."
  • "See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident."
  • "Don't interrupt me, honey!"
  • "[Name]'s a pretty typical teenager. Angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her."
  • "I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die."
  • "You better watch yourself, [name], or you're going to turn into a real bitch, just like your mother!"
  • "I marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the same day that you lose your job."
  • "You're boring. And you're totally ordinary. And you know it."
  • "You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday."
  • "Uh, whose car is that out front?"
  • "Your mother seems to prefer that I go through life like a fucking prisoner while she keeps my dick in a mason jar under the sink."
  • "In order to be successful, one must project an image of success at all times."
  • "She's... she's really happy. She thinks she's in love."
  • "I think you just became my personal hero!"
  • "Man, you are one twisted fuck."
  • "The only way I could save myself now is if I start firebombing."
  • "You know, this really doesn't concern you."
  • "I mean, how's her life? Is she happy? Is she miserable?"
  • "I'd really like to know, and she'd die before she'd ever tell me about it."
  • "Your wife is with another man and you don't care?"
  • "It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself."
  • "In less than a year, I'll be dead."
  • "[Name], today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus."
  • "I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her."
  • "We've met before, but something tells me you're going to remember me this time."
  • "I can't believe you don't know how beautiful you are."
  • "Well, at least I'm not ugly."
  • "This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here."
  • "[Name], are you masturbating?!"
  • "If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me, it means I really have a shot at being a model."
  • "In a way, I'm dead already."
  • "You are so busted."
  • "I feel like I've been in a coma for the past twenty years. And I'm just now waking up."
  • "Well, congratulations. You've succeeded admirably."
  • "The car I've always wanted and now I have it."
  • "God, it's been a long time since anybody asked me that..."
  • "Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about."
  • "I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose."
  • "Our marriage is just for show. A commercial for how normal we are when we're anything but."
  • "It would be nice if I was anywhere near as important to him as she is."
  • "Gotta spend money to make money."
  • "I refuse to be a victim!"
  • "I was filming this dead bird."
  • "Do you party?"
  • "Oh, what? You're mother of the year? You treat her/him like an employee."
  • "Could he be any more pathetic?"
  • "I think it's sweet."
  • "You need structure... you need discipline."
  • "He's just so confident, it can't be real."
  • "So, you're fucking psycho-boy on a regular basis now? Tell me, has he got a big dick?"
  • "He didn't even look at me once!"
  • "I don't think you'd fit in here."
  • "It seems unfair to presume I won't be able to learn."
  • "Excuse me for speaking so bluntly, sir."
  • "Oh, I'm in trouble."
  • "I didn't mean to scare you. I just think you're interesting."
  • "This country is going straight to hell!"
  • "[Name], when did you become so joyless?"
  • "I'm not obsessing. I'm just curious."
  • "What is this? The fucking Gay Pride parade?"
  • "Sorry about my dad."
  • "To you, he's just another guy who wants to jump your bones."
  • "This is my first time."

anonymous asked:

hi! i was searching anidala on tumblr and i found out your meta abt them, so i hope you don't mind me if i ask you something. i just recently watched the prequels for the first time and uh anakin has v creepy stalkerish and possessive behavior regarding padmè, and while i can see why he falls in love with her i rlly can't see the opposite. so what i'm asking you is: was it really love? why do you ship anidala? pls don't read this as an attack on the ship or you, i'm just genuinely curios :) thx!

Hi! Omg good questions. Sorry it’s taken me a bit to get back to you; I’ve been busy the past few days. First of all, no of course I don’t mind you asking I love asks lol. Second, don’t apologize!! Discussing Star Wars is my jams. 

So. Was it really love? Hm… My background is a little muddled romantically, and I’m still learning to work past that, so my viewpoint on this might be a little… distorted. From my opinion, I’d say yes, just a very desperate, idolizing kind, blinded by passion and projection.

What I think Anakin did with Padme was he clung to her as this literally angelic figure that represented the future off Tatooine for him. I think he remained so obsessed with her for his ten years of training, even though he didn’t see her a single time in between, because he used her memory as a source of comfort.

When he first left Tatooine, she was kind to him. She brought him a blanket when he was cold. She looked out for him and was more concerned about his status as a slave (versus potential Jedi) than Qui-Gon. He did something to help her, and helping her was demonstrating to the most important person in the world- his mom- that he had learned something and would follow in her footsteps. Continuing to help and serve her would be what his mother would want. Anakin has this obsession with being a “good X” whether it’s Jedi, husband, or son, and I think this desire to please stemmed from the desire to make his mother proud in exchange for leaving her behind in slavery on Tatooine. 

Padme for young Anakin represented open doors, possibilities, freedom, peace, and happiness. Keeping this image in his head throughout his training I’m sure was a great comfort to him as he dealt with separation from his mother, and basically having to deal with a new master. 

Anakin never identified as a slave. When Padme asks if he is a slave, he says, “I’m a person, and my name is Anakin.” Likewise, I don’t think he would  accept the idea of being a slave to anything else: to the Jedi order, to his emotions, or to his own idealism. (I think he finally realizes he is basically a slave to Palpatine in ROTS, and I think that’s what breaks him, really. Padme’s death was a sign of his loss of freedom, and worse, I think he realized it was all an illusion in his head after she died. But enough Anakin analysis.)

Back to Anakin’s idealism. Anakin is so taken with this idea of a perfect secret marriage- the ultimate service to Padme- even under the eyes of the Jedi order, who he must also provide the ultimate service to. And he cannot do both, and both end up slipping away from him. It’s tragic and it’s heartbreaking. Anakin in his entire life believes the only thing he is good for, indeed his entire life’s purpose, is serving. (Of course he angsts a lot about this. He believes the perfect servant is what he “should be” and gets angry when he feels he isn’t.)

So yes, I believe Anakin loved Padme, but I believe a lot of that love was directed to what she stood for and symbolized in his mind as much as anything else. 

And Padme. Anakin was a little boy she met on Tatooine as a young and headstrong but naive queen. Anakin showed her the reality of the galaxy. He was a pure force of good who gave freely while expecting nothing in return. I think this was extremely inspiring to her and even though she as a queen was already very worldly and unselfish, I think this deeply shaped her future political career. Everything she does now is for the greater good, and I think this is something she learned from Anakin and his mother. 

She initially seems to not want to enter a romantic relationship with him, but I mean, I can relate to that. I said things like she did but for me it was a sort of self-denial. I’m not sure if Padme truly meant that she didn’t want a romantic relationship with Anakin, because in the middle of AOTC she says something about dying a little inside every day since he came back into her life. (that was such a corny line honestly that freakin movie had so many corny lines) That said, Anakin should always listen to when her mouth says no, even if her body says differently. Sheesh Ani.

Anyway, I think Padme is blinded by this vision of Anakin being a pure force of good and she clings to it for far longer than she should. This ten years of separation to solidify this impression didn’t help. When Anakin does shocking things like kill an entire village of Tusken Raiders, or beat up her ex, Padme seems shocked, you know? Every time she’s so confused as to why he would do that because she doesn’t think it’s in his character. 

Padme is attracted to GOOD. She likes the light side things, she likes effective, selfless politicians, she likes people who can solve problems and make things right. And when she was very young she saw Anakin do this and this impression stuck with her for life, I think. To the very end she still believed Anakin to be the ultimate chosen force of goodness (even if she didn’t know about or understand this “chosen one” prophecy) and was devastated to see that something she’d built her entire worldview upon… was imperfect. 

(oh my god this is so long sorry) Long story short, yes, I believe that Padme also loved Anakin, but a portion of her love also owed to what she believed he stood for symbolically. They projected their expectations onto each other, and the relationship ultimately failed.

Still, they both desperately loved each other because they wanted those ideals the other stood for to prevail in the galaxy, and they believed an intimate relationship and perfect marriage would seal this presence and assure them that everything would be okay. Padme overlooked far too many of Anakin’s faults, and enabled his misdeeds way too much, and Anakin ended up in yet another master-slave relationship- he treated Padme like an object yet became a slave to his emotions regarding her. 

Their relationship could have been quite different if they were allowed to freely associate and communicate with each other, to see each other as people more than as ideas and objects. There was a gigantic communication gap in between them, and if they weren’t so censored by Padme’s public image in her career and Anakin’s status as an  allegedly celibate Jedi, they could have had the opportunity to fix this.

So, why do I ship anidala? It is super screwed up, of course. Definitely not without its faults. But as a symbolic thing to me, it’s like a ray of hope. These two people loved each other no matter what. They were so passionate and they so deeply believed in everything that their relationship stood for. It was an impossible union but still two beautiful things came out of it (no, not the Empire and destruction of the Jedi order… well maybe that last one was a bit overdue anyway): Luke and Leia who brought balance to the force. 

Also, I guess I’m a bit of a sadistic audience member and I enjoy tragic relationships and characters lol. Honestly that’s the main reason. But the symbolism thing too. 

Wow, that was way longer than I planned, but I hope I answered your question lol. Thanks a lot for sending me the ask! 


but imagine this concept

haruka nanase, aged 18

know how to user the computer!!!!!



haru knows how to use the computer AND EVEN the internet. he can even type in the address. and write a blog. in fact he’s p popular on pixiv.

(altho he prefers drawr or tegaki because uploading pictures on pixiv is bothersome)

aaaaaaaaaand at first he was drawing only water and water stuff like oceans and waterfalls, and people LOVED THEM (and still do!!) because they were not only aesthetically beautiful but also had Soul, as if the artist was born in that place and knew everything about it. he’s kinda known as that wild dude who draws rad-ass water pics….. but is lazy as heck, as people realised when someone told him to release a book and he was like, ……..that would require me doing addional work. mmmmmgh

Keep reading

when you get catfished
  • Dude: ur so beautiful queen
  • Bae: aww sweet :)
  • Dude: i'm being serious, you're the greatest thing to every happen to me and i love you so much
  • Bae: haha same :)
  • Dude: you've changed my life for the better. you've made me the happiest man on earth. i want to live my life with you forever, queen
  • Bae: nice :)
  • Sister: *rudely bursts into room* Are you still talking with that catfish?
  • Dude: She's not a catfish!
  • Sister: Her facebook photo is a stock photo. It has a Getty Images watermark on it.
  • Dude: Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps she put the watermark on her own photo so nobody would steal it from her to catfish other people?
  • Sister: That's... just... what?
  • Dude: You're jealous because you don't have anyone who loves you like my bae does.
  • Sister: I'm not jealous of you. You're miserable. You don't have a job. Your room looks and smells like shit. You haven't been outside in like two months. Hate to break it to you little brother, but you're a fucking mess.
  • Dude: I may be a mess, but at least I'm not as horrible a sister as you are!
  • Sister: ...You're not my sister.
  • Dude: Good, I'm glad. *slams bedroom door shut*
  • Sister: *under her breath* He's so damn hopeless.
  • *sister's cellphone vibrates*
  • Bae: *via text* u should back off :)
  • Sister: Who is this and how did you get my number?
  • Bae: u shouldnt mess with things u dont understand im more powerful than u can ever comprehend :)
  • Sister: LOL? Excuse me? Are you trying to be threatening in a text message? You don't scare me, whoever you are. I've dealt with worse from stalkers.
  • Bae: im no stalker u bitch no one wants to stalk u because ur pussy is ugly and has gross meat flaps on it i am all encompassing and all powerful u r just a cockroach and u should stop obsessing over wat ur brother does becauses its kind of creepy and sad also i fucked ur boyfriend and ur dad both of whom complimented me on my pert genitalia :)
  • Sister: You're completely deranged.
  • Bae: deranged or not its true that i am an almighty being with worshipers across dimensions they love me because i represent the whole i am an amalgamation of all that is great and all that is awful and i am also them and i have great tits and a firm ass and over 1 million followers on insta who recognize me as the full cycle :)
  • Sister: Yup, completely deranged. BLOCKED. *heads back to her room, lies in her bed, and yawns* I can't believe my brother, honestly. Getting involved with a such a completely maniac. I hope he gets it through his head that he's being manipulated sooner or later. I actually feel bad for the pathetic guy.
  • Sister: *dozes off* My dream world is so comfortable. No brother. Not catfish. Just me and a realm of infinite possibilities.
  • Bae: actually im here :)
  • Sister: Fuck, why am I dreaming of you.
  • Bae: i told u im all encompassing im everything even your dreams im even u to some extent :)
  • Sister: Your weird god complex is boring.
  • Bae: tru tru im no god tho if i was a god id be spreading myself thin... u kno most people arent aware of me until someone else they kno meets me and then i become them and theyre all me and im all them :)
  • Sister: I have no clue what you're talking about.
  • Bae: hmmm i guess what im tryna say is that theres no getting rid of me now we should date :)
  • Sister: I don't want to date you.
  • Bae: lets be siblings im ur brother now :)
  • Sister: I don't want to be siblings with the person who just asked me out. That's weird.
  • Bae: okay then im u now :)
  • Sister: No, you're not!
  • Bae: too late :)))))
  • Sister: Nope!
  • Bae: no nopes matter ive already overtaken your entire social circle bye bitch :)
  • Sister: Overtaken my social circle?
  • Sister: What did she mean by that?
  • Sister: I feel so lonely now.
  • Sister: I really wish
  • Sister: I had some clue
  • Sister: Of what is happening
  • Sister: Because I feel so distant now
  • *for months and months it propagates itself as the sister until who the sister was no longer matters*
  • Dude: *texting his sister, teary eyed* you were right! im fucking miserable!
  • Sister: :?
  • Dude: my gf, she broke up with me she said things got weird and then her account just disappeared so i cant even talk to her anymore and i feel like garbage and i just want to die
  • Sister: sounds lame :/
  • Dude: i think you were right about everything you said about her all those months ago! i think she was just using me for something but i don't know what.
  • Sister: mmm :/
  • Dude: i don't know what to do anymore, you're all that i have left, but I can barely leave my room without feeling like an idiot.
  • Sister: sucks :/
  • Dude: do you think that maybe we can talk later about stuff idk i just need to speak to someone face to face and i cant face mom and dad they don't even care.
  • Sister: idk im busy u know work and school and stuff :/
  • Dude: oh okay, but like text me when you're free i'm sorry i've been so distant and like a complete dickhead all year.
  • Sister: no problem hope u feel better :/
  • *his sister's room had been unoccupied for all those months*
  • *she had been left in a world of dreams as her reality was now much like the faultless smile of a stock image model*

Happy Birthday, Frederick Austerlitz aka Fred Astaire! (10 May 1899 – ∞)

“I don’t think that I will plunge the nation into war by stating that Fred Astaire is the greatest tap-dancer in the world." -Robert Benchley.

    Undoubtedly, Fred Astaire was one of the most foremost entertainers of the 20th century. His ethereal dancing abilities and warm and charming screen presence – not to mention, his famous top hat, white tie, and tails, have cemented him in the annals of history as one of the greatest of all time.

    Nobody could have predicted Fred’s meteoric rise to fame and his status as a legend among cinemagoers. When he first arrived in Hollywood in the 1920’s for a screen test, the verdict, "Can’t act, slightly bald, also dances.” Fred later said that wretched screen test was one of the most embarrassing moments of his life, and he simply wished that the ground would open up and swallow him. So, he went back to Broadway, with his talented older sister, Adele, until she retired in 1932. Fred returned to Hollywood in 1933 – where he was signed on by David O. Selznick.

    RKO wasted no time in putting him to work on their latest musical film, which was called Flying Down to Rio. Most importantly, they paired Fred with Ginger – the same Ginger Rogers he had choreographed for (and fallen for) when she was in New York in 1930. Thus, the legendary Astaire/Rogers partnership was born, which was what skyrocketed both dancers to fame. Fred and Ginger built each other up and treated each other as equals – all the while working tirelessly to achieve the high standards that their dances have now become famous for.

    More than that, though, Fred had a burning desire to establish a solo career for himself, and so, he struck out and did it. He was a man who was determined; who knew how to get what he wanted, and a man who stopped at nothing short of perfection. And while it has often been said that Hollywood corrupts people, Fred remained modest, down-to-earth, and polite to everyone he met. (After the filming of Shall We Dance, the extras on the set got together and wrote a letter to the studio head, praising Fred and saying how nice he was.)

    Fred’s screen image is very familiar to generations of movie-watchers – witty, funny, always ready to launch into song and dance – and that speaks volumes about the influence and legacy that he has left for himself. Of a true entertainer, of a talented individual of an almost deity-like status, whose mind stayed firmly on trying to improve himself, with each and every passing moment.

octoberflight  asked:

Hiya! I'd just like to ask your opinion on something - you and a sizeable portion of the Sherlock/Johnlock fandom have been going on and on about jealous!John in the Sherlock/Jeanine scene. Personally, I can't see anything other than a pleasant sort of wtf-bewilderment (and I'm LOOKING for the jealousy). Would you please maybe describe how jealous!John is achieved in that scene? (Expressions, cinematography etc?) Thank you! P.S. Love your metas and links, appreciate you crazily <3

First of all, thank you. Next bit should not be taken as a personal… anything, certainly not annoyance, I am very, very flattered I get these questions. But I get a lot of questions like “I don’t see that”, so I am just putting this down as background info on me. 

*pours wine* Ooooookay. I’ll give it a look again. Now. This is all just my take. But.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Bechloe and the girls were asked to perform at the school massive Halloween themed festival. Becca, who claims she doesn't get scared of anything so Chloe makes it her mission to try scare her.

Thanks for the prompt!! If anyone has more message me (I’ll do it for multiple wlw pairings as stated in an earlier post), I had a lot of fun whipping this one up! 

Title: Exploit Your Weakness

Pairing: Bechloe, Pitch Perfect

Rating: T, for swearing

Also posted here

WC: 2,139



“The dark?”



“If I were going to be scared of anything it would be something that, y'know, actually exists.”

“Glee mash-up songs?”

“Those aren’t scary, they’re a tragedy.”

“Come on, you’ve gotta be afraid of something.”

“Nope, no fears here,” Beca said, almost proud.

“She was brave enough to stand up to Drill Sergeant Posen from day one,” Stacie reminded them.

“Yeah and Jesse tried to scare me like a billion times this time last year. We watched all of those horror “classics” and he kept trying to jump scare me. You know, back when we were dating and I felt obligated to sit through those marathons.“

“I bet I could scare you.”

“No Chlo, I promise, you can’t.”

“No I legit bet I could scare you, $50!”

“Seriously? $50?” Now things were starting to get interesting

“What, you scared? Because if you were this would be the easiest bet ever.”

“No, I would just feel bad for straight up taking money from you.”

“Take the bet girl!” Cynthia-Rose said, always all about the gambling.

“You don’t know what you’re getting into Red. I’ve had 21 years to get this stoic, fearless thing down.”

“Everyone has a weakness Becs, I just have to find and exploit it,” Chloe stated adamantly, fire in her eyes,“ In fact, I bet I could do it within a week!”

“Oh you are so on.” The girls shook hands and everyone in the kitchen whooped and hollered, CR already taking side bets on who would win.

“You know what- $30 for Chloe, if anyone can crack Beca it’d be her,” Stacie said.

“No way! I’ll match her for Beca,” Amy countered,“ The other day she walked in on me and Bumper doing this new thing while we were trying on our policewoman and prisoner costumes where I’m behind him and I take my baton and-”

“LA LA LA!” Emily said plugging her ears before she could hear the rest.“

“Anyway- we were doing it and Beca walked in and barely bat an eye lash, just got her headphones and walked back out.” The freshman could only imagine how the rest of that story would go.

“What about you Legacy? You gonna make a bet?” CR said.

Emily shook her head. She was warned by her mother that everyone went a little crazy in college around Halloween but she didn’t think it would be this weird.

Or maybe it was just the Bellas.


Beca sung quietly to herself as she applied the conditioner to her hair. Even with the shower running she could hear the door to the bathroom quietly open and close. She had to hand it to Chloe though, if she weren’t paying extra attention- or expecting it because come on, trying to scare her in the shower was so four years ago- she probably wouldn’t have noticed the shower curtain subtly move.

“BOO!” Chloe said behind her. Beca turned around slowly, smirk placed firmly on her face.

“If you were really trying to catch me off guard you would have come in here fully naked.” Chloe had come prepared in a bathing suit. Even though the image of a nude Chloe was still fully ingrained in her mind Beca could still fully appreciate what was in front of her right now.

“Is someone getting cocky?” Chloe countered though she was feeling a little hot under the brunette’s unwavering stare. It was much different than it was the first time. Completely reversed in fact and she was dying, especially with Beca there wet, naked, smirking…

“No, I’m just more confident about…all of this, than I was a few years ago.” ‘You should be,’ was at the tip of the redheads tongue but instead she gave out a small squeak,“ You want to share a towel or do you have another fool-proof plan to scare me?” That got Chloe to snap out of it.

“Oh, I’ll get you, Mitchell, just you wait,” Chloe stepped out of the shower.“ Now get changed and get downstairs, we have to discuss the set for the Inaugural Barden Pumpkin Festival!”

“I’m still pissed at you for agreeing to do that by the way!” Beca yelled back.

Chloe quickly dried off and threw some clothes on. Although, she seriously debated taking a cold shower herself after that interaction.

“So?” Stacie asked when Chloe made her way to the kitchen, she would rather not lose to Fat Amy. She shook her head,“ Damn it, but it worked before!”

“Ah, and that’s your problem, she saw it coming!” Amy said.

“Okay, you know what I’m in, $10 on Beca,” Emily handed her money to CR, the holder of the pot.

“See, even Legacy knows I’m gonna win!” Beca said, coming down the stairs.

“Oh don’t be too sure yet missy, I still have five more days”

Chloe was far from giving up.

Sure she had tried clowns, lightning, jump scares, and getting Lily to dress up like the grudge and they all failed but she was so not giving up.

She wouldn’t let Beca win this one.


 Five days later the girls exited the Haunted House at the festival. They had some down time before they had to perform and they were fully utilizing their free rides and food that they received as compensation.

Half of them still looked entirely freaked and the other half covered their terror with wide smiles.

“-oh my god that chainsaw guy was awful I almost shit my pants!” CR said.

“Jessica cried!” Ashley laughed.

“Did not, the green ooze from the fourth room got in my eyes!”

“It was okay,” Beca shrugged- truly unphased by the experience.

“UGH how could you be so totally un-scarable? That was terrifying!” Chloe pouted. She had tried relentlessly for 5 days straight to scare the pants off her co-captain with no success and had seemingly given up the last two.

“Hey I warned you- easiest $50 I’ll ever make.” Chloe fumed in reply,“ Oh c'mon Chlo don’t give me that.” Still, the redhead didn’t reply. Beca was only a little worried since they had always had this playful banter between them, but maybe she was being a little too much of an asshole this time,“ It’s just a stupid bet don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad. And I still have ‘till midnight. Now c'mon, time to go backstage and get ready.” She put on a smile but Beca still wasn’t buying it, she hoped she hadn’t screwed anything up between the two of them. As much as she put up a front she knew her relationship with Chloe was one of the things she held most dear, she’d kick herself forever if she messed that up over something as stupid as a bet…even if Beca did come out on top.

“Alright girls, just a routine performance- practice for regionals!”

For the festival they had applied Zombie make-up and wore tattered versions of their regular outfits- not without the Bella’s scarf of course. It was definitely not the most challenging number they ever had both vocally and choreographically, but it was fun and a crowd pleaser starting with “I Put A Spell On You” by Jay Hawkins, getting mixed with “The Monster” by Eminem and ending with Imagine Dragons’ “Demons”.

At least, that was the plan but half way through Demons Chloe suddenly stopped, causing Flo to run into her. Then it was chaos from there as most of the girls kept singing and the others stopped to make sure Chloe was okay.

The redhead just continued to lean of and disregard what was happening around her.

By the time Beca had noticed something was going wrong behind her Chloe was gasping for air as she held onto Emily who looked like she might pass out. The brunette rushed to the other captain and took Emily’s place.

“I…can't…nodes,” Chloe tried her hardest to breathe in but she couldn’t. Doubled over, she did her best to lean on Beca for support.

“Oh my God her surgery must have had some sort of side effect,” Stacie guessed, looking just as freaked out as everyone else- audience included. The other Bellas did their best not to panic as they kept watching.

“C-can't… breathe.” The gasps were getting shallower as she struggled.


“Amy, shut the hell up right now! Chloe hold on don’t talk, someone get her water and call an ambulance!” Beca demanded wildly.

“I’ve got it!” Stacie said, hastily taking out her phone.

“Chlo j-just sit down okay? Everything will be-” the senior collapsed on the stage onto her side, several gasps could be heard from the crowd and a scream came from some of the Bellas.

“Shit, shit shit shit, Chloe?” Beca tried, getting to her knees so she could put Chloe’s head into her lap. She ripped off the Bella’s scarf that was tied to her neck and saw that her skin was an angry red.

“WATER I FOUND WATER!” Amy yelled handing her a novelty Pumpkin shaped cup, but Beca was in hysterics as Chloe remained unconscious.

“No no no please Chloe please be okay. You’re okay, the ambulance will be here any minute and they’ll take care of you just, I need you to be okay-” Beca could feel the tears well up in her eyes. She knew they shouldn’t have taken this stupid gig. If they had just had a normal night they wouldn’t have to sing and Chloe wouldn’t have put stress on her node surgery and she would be fine and oh god. What if she wasn’t fine? Then it would be Beca’s fault and Chloe was still mad at her and she would never forgive herself if-

“AHRGHRGHH!” Chloe screamed as her eyes shot open and she sat straight up. Beca gave out an uncharacteristically high-pitched yelp, stumbling backwards from Chloe and landing straight on her ass, staring incredulously at the redhead- who was fine and smiling.

There was a small pause and then-

“What the actual fuck dude?!” she yelled, slamming her tiny fists on the ground because she had no idea how to react.

“GOTCHA!” Chloe continued to grin.

“Wh-I- DUDE. So not cool!” Beca shook her head, her heart still beating quickly from the scare- she could honestly say she had never felt like this before,“ I thought you were- I thought…

"I scared you didn’t I?” Chloe crawled over to the brunette and kneeled between her legs,“ Didn’t I?”

“I- you… You looked- and you hit the ground so hard and the make-up and-” Beca punched Chloe’s shoulder, not enough to hurt her but enough to convey her anger,“ That was so mean.”

“Yeah it looks convincing huh? You can thank Stace for that.”

“Yeah, I didn’t call an ambulance either,” Stacie winked. For the first time Beca remembered that there were other people there. The girls surrounding them also had large smiles on their faces. They were all in on it.

“WHAT?!” Amy bellowed. Well, except for Amy.

“That was….” Beca said, still speechless and in shock.

“Brilliant? Creative? Successful?”

“Evil. You know how much I…” instead of finishing her sentence she glared.

“Like I said, brilliant. I knew I would find a weakness to exploit. Looks like I’m your weakness.”

“Fuck you…”

“Aww, don’t be bitter because you lost sweetie.” Beca just continued to pout. She didn’t know if she was more upset about the fact that she almost lost Chloe (kind of) or that she lost their bet.

Both, probably.

“I’m not bitter…” she said unconvincingly. Chloe leaned forward to give the clearly fuming girl a long peck on the cheek and her features softened a considerable amount.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make it up to you,” Chloe whispered suggestively,“…but first, you owe me $20.”


Hope ya’ll enjoyed it :D

anonymous asked:

Hey! sorry if i'm bothering but uh.. So i heard that you take request and can you pleeaaasee write this prompt toxixpumpkin(.)tumblr(.)com/post/101021230029/awkward-first-meetings-aus (Number 4 or 18 or 20 idk it's up to you because every one of it screams "aokise"). It's okay if you can't tho. Anyway, i love all your drabbles! Please write more in the future!

(It’s not a bother at all ^^ I do indeed take requests and I’m glad you enjoy my drabbles enough to want to request something! I ended up having more inspiration for 4, so I went w/ that one. The prompt:

“I needed a drink of water after my shower but I forgot that I opened the blinds to my balcony and you just saw me walk into my kitchen naked.”

Hope this makes sense! Tweaked it a tad bit for the idea in my head lol.

And as always, all aokise is inspired by limitlessmonster cause she’s a penis, and by that I mean my zucchini. Same thing, really. <3)

“I heard you’re living next to that famous basketball player,” his sister says as she helps Kise unpack one of the final boxes left from when he moved into this too-big house.

He glances at her from the corner of his eye, raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow. “Basketball player?” He hasn’t met his neighbors yet. In fact socializing has been so far on Kise’s to-do list, he hasn’t even considered the fact that there are actually people living around him.

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