oh my god i can say that!

firstnonbinarypresident  asked:

When i first entered retail my mom was so upset because she works in retail at an art store and she kept saying "you want to deal with what I had to deal with when that GLITTER WOMAN CAME IN???" She says she only hates one person and that's a customer from 2006. I remember the day she came home screaming about the glitter. I was 6 and she wont talk about it now but from what I can remember a woman came in and sprayed glitter all over the shop, on my mom, and asked for a refund for the glitter.

OH MY GOD

Bake-Off: 13

Here’s the second to last part @yourtropegirl


You wake up a few hours later in your bed, a warm body next to you. Steve. You vaguely remember him carrying you to bed then closing a hand around his shirt and pulling him onto the bed with you. He’d chuckled softly before settling in next to you.

“Morning.” Steve says, blinking down at you, his voice rough with sleep.

“Morning. What time is it?”

“10:15. If you want we can go wish Nat and Clint some luck. Then breakfast?”

“You’re spoiling me.” You tell him reaching over your head stretching with a soft groan.

“Get used to it Sweetheart.” He says pressing a kiss to your temple. Oh god could he be any sweeter?

“If you wanna shower feel free.” You tell him sliding out of bed and heading for your closet.

“Would you mind if we stop at my apartment? If I show up in the same clothes from yesterday Nat will never let me hear the end of it.”

“Neither would Clint.” You laugh twisting your hair into a quick bun before grabbing some clothes to wear. It doesn’t take you long to get ready, chatting with Steve the whole time.

His apartment is a fifteen minute walk from your place, it’s definitely a man’s apartment but it’s tidy. “Make yourself at home.” He says before disappearing into what you assume is his bedroom. You spot a few photos hanging on the wall and make your way over to them. There are a few with some guys in military gear, you recognize Steve and Bucky but not the African American man that Steve has his left arm slung over. You don’t ask Bucky about his time in the military. You know it wasn’t a good time in his life, you’ve witnessed the nightmares and have seen the tattoo that snakes along his arm. Covering scars from, something, you’ll never ask. You see the folded flag from someone and next to it a blue velvet box. Your curiosity gets the best of you, you open the box and see a Purple Heart gleaming up at you. Feeling like you’ve gone too far you close the box and put it back on the mantel. You continue down the line of photos, Steve in at culinary school, him with Natasha outside a storefront. Family, a woman who must be his mom, a few more photos with Bucky as kids.

“Ready?” Steve asks startling you.

“Yea, I didn’t know you knew Bucky for so long.”

“We were friends as kids then drifted in high school. We ended up working together again in the military.”

“Yea, I saw the photo.” You gesture to the one with the man you don’t know.

“We were a tight group. Buck, Sam and I.” His face darkens for a second.

“You don’t need to talk about it. It’s none of my business.”

“No it’s okay. I’m supposed to talk about it. You’ve probably heard the story before, Bucky was there.”

“Bucky doesn’t talk about his time in the military, and I don’t ask.” Steve frowns and you feel like you’ve just gotten Bucky in trouble.

“The man on my left, his name was Sam Wilson. We lost him over there when we drove over an IED. That’s when Bucky got his scar.” Steve tells you softly.

“Oh Steve.” You breathe, he looks downcast and you take his face in your hands.

“Thank you for telling me. You didn’t have to so thank you.”

“Like I said. It’s good for me to talk about.” He tells you covering your hand with his. “We should go or we’re going to miss Nat and Clint.”

@thebadassbitchqueen

@keithsbirthday​ DAY 4: favourite song
Talk about a song that reminds you of keith 

Oh boy okay um….. EXPIRY DATE - Thomston. GOD. okay we gotta talk about this some more soon because WOAH okay. but briefly: 

Tragic, am I moving backward?
I can’t tell these days

I internalize everything these days

(I promise that I’ll)
Put in all the effort
(Head in it all)
In spite of all the pressure
I’ll walk until my feet bleed
Furthest thing from easy

If you say it’s temporary, I’ll be gone

Does that make me more human in your eyes?

Is it shameful that this keeps me up some nights?

…Knowing that if I don’t play my cards just right
Every part of this could vanish in my hands

Everybody has a date that they expire

the-sun-of-rome-is-set  asked:

Top 5 best Shakespeare death scenes

  • the entire banquet scene in titus andronicus. oh my god, y’all. really that should just count as four bullet points right there because it is a CLUSTERFUCK and i love every horrifying second of it
  • speaking of titus, i’m also gonna say mutius’ death, not because it’s super important or anything, but it’s so shocking to see this guy just fuckin’ stab his son
    • like, imagine being the first actor to play mutius. “oh cool, i’m mutius what do i get to do?” “uh…die. ” “and?” “that’s it. that’s literally it”
  • ………………can i also say chiron and demetrius’ death? i’m gonna do it, because pies
  • lear’s death, because it’s so shockingly unpoetic. he just [dies]. it doesn’t matter that he was a king or anything. he finds out his daughter’s dead and then he himself just dies right then and there. (i don’t actually love king lear but that’s mostly because it is too viscerally painful for me to deal with on an extended level)
  • speaking of painful deaths: if desdemona’s death in othello doesn’t cause your audience to physically writhe in their seats because the whole scenario is so awful on an emotional level you’re doing it wrong

…also does “exit, pursued by a bear” from the winter’s tale count as a death scene for antigonus? no? fuck you i’m adding it anyway

thanks!!

900! Wow oh Wow!

Oh my god! We finally hit 900! Thank you all so much! 
Shoutout to @silvershells for being #901! 

We can hardly believe we have 900 of you amazing people follow us! You all are amazing and beautiful people who make this blog possible! Thank you all so much! Thank you, thank you! I don’t think either of us could say it enough to show you all how much we appreciate every ask, reblog, note, and ask. You all make our days so much better!

Originally posted by fallontonightgifs

“Jesus Fuck”

So this started as a fucking joke and a friend asked me to add more to it and this just got so much more morbid oh my god



    “Cut tha shit, Birdie Boy,” Harleen Quinzel says, aiming a tommy gun at the battered anti-hero before her. “Or we’ll lock ya in a room with Crane.”

    A wheeze escaping his bloody lips, Jason Todd scoffs, “what’s that twig gonna do?”

    Harleen giggling darkly, Edward Nygma speaks up from the sidelines; “he hasn’t had any of his medicine in five weeks.”

    “If he’s still i-i-in there, may God help you,” Jervis Tetch stutters, a noticeable shiver ailing the short man’s frame.

    “Pfft,” Jason scoffs again, “what’s the worst he can do?”

    Immediately, the red and black rogue pulls on the chains keeping the vigilante’s hands in place, pulling him towards a door.

    Tutting and shaking his head, Edward says, “don’t say we didn’t warn you.”

    Opening the door just long enough to shove Jason in with an overly enthusiastic “get ‘em, Cranie!”, Jason finds himself stuck in a dark dingy room. The first thing he focuses on is the loud breathing, soon locating the source off to the left of him; a hunched over figure, no doubt the dreaded Straw Man’s, slightly shaking in a corner. In an instant, his head whips around with an audible crack, bloodshot eyes staring straight at him.

    “Have you ever considered,” the slightly higher pitched voice of Jonathan Crane rattles, “the horrendous fact that we are all born to die? Born to a dying world, predetermined numbers of days, years, months, down to the seconds. You can’t avoid it, you can’t outrun it, death will catch us all like rats in a trap. Death, our captor; Time, our restraints; Mortality, our executioner. Not even the Earth or universe can survive itself, slowly but surely eating away at its own foundation until nothing’s left, not a speck– not a particle of existence.”

    Wriggling a hand out of a poorly locked cuff, Jason mutters, “Jesus fuck, Crane.”

clairelions  asked:

oh my god ;——; I cried so much, it was so beautiful, the perfect ending ♥ I don’t have any constructive comment because I’m still overwhelmed by the emotions ;-; thank you so much for this wonderful story ♥

I know this says more but i can only read the first threee words what is happening.

anonymous asked:

oh my g-d allistics are so unnecessary... the autigender label isn't "anti-recovery" because there's no recovery from autism because autism is not an illness, how many times should I say this for allistics to realize? Yes it's a disability yes it can make your life harder but it's not an illness and it's an important part of my identity why the fuck can't it also influence my gender,,, I just really hate allistics now

GOD SAME

Hey everybody I hurt my wrist so my doctor literally told me to use voice to text which on one hand feels really cool like oh my God the future is here but like on the other hand it won’t let me f****** swear or say the word um and I want to lose my God damn mind I’m so frustrated I just want to say f*** f*** f*** f*** f*** f*** f*** voice to text sucks can I say s*** now I can’t even say s***anyway bye

i want to fucking die. I was in an ANgstY destiel mood, like here’s what my horrid brain thought of: Lucifer somehow taking hold of cas’s vessel before Cas can get to the boiz, and Lucifer goes over to them to get his son or whatever, and Dean sees him and is like oh my god, and is like low key thanking god for answering his prayer and Jack is like, that’s not Cas and is shook cause he knows Lucifer is bad. Anyways  Dean’s sees him right- and he goes over to him and is like Cas hi.. I- and gets cut off when Lucifer walks past him and tries to grab jack, but like Jack’s powers are like i think the fuck not, and like throw him against a wall or some shit an Dean’s is like wht’s the fuck are you doing, come on guys i-it’s cas! And goes over to him to be like Are you okay? And Lucifer is like lol this’ll be fun, and beats the shit out of him. NA dby then he knows it isn’t cas because he could see cas slipping in and out trying not to hurt Dean,( but like my dude he just got back from the fuckin void)but he can t but it still fucks with him

anonymous asked:

Gee did you hear Harry got his crotch grabbed by some "fan". It's so disgusting that people treat him like an object

OH MY GOD WHAT?! No, I didn’t hear about this, but oh my god that has my blood boiling. Like, what the fuck?! How delusional and disgusting do you have to make that seem in anyway okay? I mean, that is seriously so low. If you think that’s an okay thing to do, you seriously need to sit down and evaluate your thinking because that is so uncalled for it’s not even funny. Show him some fucking respect you asshats. I hate to say it this way but just imagine if that were you and someone was touching you without your consent. How violated you would feel. I can’t believe I’m even having to say this. Those people that touched him can fuck right off. I hope to the powers that be that they know they are NOT in any way, shape, or form, his fans. They don’t get the right to call themselves as so anymore. xx.

the DM: Okay, at the end of the hallway is a stone door with no visible locks, latches, or opening mechanisms. Carved into the stone is an inscription that reads, “What is the sound of silence?”

the bard, instantly:  ♪ Hello darkness my old friend ♪

DM: …………………Oh my god. I forgot-

bard:  ♪ I’ve come to talk with you again ♪

DM: No, that’s not the answer- 

bard:  ♪ Because a vision softly creeping ♪

DM: Here, I’ve got my notes, let me change the riddle-

bard:  ♪ Left its seeds while I was sleeping  ♪

DM: Please-

bard, emphatically now:  ♪ AND THE VISION THAT WAS PLANTED IN MY BRAIN  ♪

DM: IT’S NOT-

bard:  ♪ STILL REMAINS ♪

DM: I’M BEGGING-

bard:  ♪ WITHIN THE SOUND ♪

DM: PLEASE-

bard:  ♪ OF SILENCE ♪

DM, with a visibly broken spirit: …Yeah, okay. The door swings open.

anonymous asked:

Kat,,,,,,,keith Cries,,,,,,,,,fanon keith is dead,,,hes,,,,,emotiONAL,,,

Dude. Dude, I know. Here’s some great stuff about Keith that fandom can no longer deny:

  • when asked to describe himself he first comes up blank
  • no mentions of his talents whatsoever?? he’s not arrogant
  • in fact he has no trouble admitting that he’s bad at something
  • keeps saying that he pilots the black lion but refuses to say that he’s the black paladin
  • he thinks that being part Galra might be why he has always been bad at connecting with people 
  • automatically plays around with his knife when the Galra part gets mentioned
  • THE STUPID CHEER FROM S1 IS STILL ON HIS MIND
  • is very straightforward and wants to avoid complicated stuff as much as possible
  • apologized twice for blowing up; he’s self-conscious about his temper
  • [voice crack] “I don’t know why I’m that way”
  • is aware of his abandonment issues
  • is also aware that he puts some walls up
  • tries to compose himself by rubbing his fingers together
  • knows when he is about to cry and promised himself not to do it ((in front of the camera/a potential audience at least))

HE’S. SO GREAT. SO SO GREAT. He’s much more self-aware than fandom gives him credit for. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH ;A;

(Keith and Lance are on their first date at a restaurant)

Keith: I hate cheesy things, they make me sick to my stomach.

Lance, desperately trying to cover his heartbreak as he subtly types out a text to Hunk and Pidge from under the table telling them to cancel the incredibly cheesy gesture he had planned for after their date: (voice cracking) Oh.. really? I didn’t, um, know that about you.

Keith: (shrugs) I try not to be too open about it. Shiro says it kind of ruins the mood whenever I bring it up.

Lance: (having a crisis) Yeah, uh huh. I totally get that. Yeah. 

Keith: … Are you okay?

Lance: Who, me? I’m fine! Never been better! (all the moments where he picked up Keith in a suit and gave him flowers and held the door/chair for him in the restaurant flash before his eyes) Oh, no. Ohhhhhhh nooooooooo.

Keith: Lance??

Lance: Keith, buddy, light of my life- Wait, shit! You literally just said- Keith, I’m so sorry. I had no idea but I- I should’ve asked if you were alright with all the romcom stuff before I did it. I’m so sorry, I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable or, or that you were being pressured. I just, I really like you, and I wanted to do everything right, but instead I- (he jumps when Keith’s hand touches his own) Uh, Keith?

Keith: Lance, calm down. What are you talking about?

Lance: You said you hate cheesy things!! And-

Keith: Yeah, because I’m lactose intolerant.

Lance: -I’m a cheese master! I’ve been grinding cheese all evening!! I’ve been inhaling that shit, sprinkling it, we’re literally neck deep in- Wait. What?

Keith: Lance. I was talking about my lactose intolerance. I- (he unsuccessfully tries to pass his laugh off as a cough even as he tightens his grip on Lance’s hand) I’m sorry, I swear I’m not laughing at you! It’s just, you’re getting all worked up, and- It’s sweet that you care so much, thank you, but I was talking about- (he starts laughing again)

Lance: You’re talking about your lactose intolerance??? You said, you said cheesy things- (he wheezes) Oh my god, cheese makes you sick to your stomach, you weren’t trying to give me a hint, you were talking about shitting-

Keith: I wasn’t-! I never said that, I said it hurts my stomach! That’s so gross Lance, don’t say that when we’re in public!

Lance: (still laughing) Okay, okay, sorry. I’ll keep it PG.

Keith: That’s all I ask. And, um. About what you were talking about. I don’t… usually like big romantic gestures, or pda.

Lance: … Oh. Well, that’s okay! We can-

Keith: (staring intently at a scuff on the table) But. I’ve found that I don’t mind it when it’s, um. (he stares harder at the table) When it’s. (his ears are starting to turn pink) Whenit’scomingfromyou.

Lance:

Keith:

Lance: (subtly sniffles before smiling) We’ll make a romantic of you yet, Kogane.

Can we just talk about the faces Lance makes when Keith is considering not being in Voltron?


Keith is upset, Lance is upset

When Keith enters after not showing up, everyone looks mad, but Lance looks sad and disappointed

Then when Keith is talking about leaving, he looks just so

“Wait what?”

“No…”

“Keith…”

“Please don’t go”



Then during the group hug, he looks like he’s about to break down

And starts hiding behind a smile

To me it looks like he wants to be happy for Keith and support him, but at the same time, he’s heartbroken he’s leaving

“Yeah… Who am I gonna make fun of now?”



Bonus:

When Keith is about to sacrifice himself, Lance is sweating. Now the team don’t know what he’s going to do, but by Matt’s reaction, they can tell it could be something risky

“Oh my god Keith no don’t do anything stupid”


And when Keith is safe and alive

“Heh.. I’m glad your safe Keith”


Every scene, every drawing, every face is for a reason, so they wouldn’t of just made his expressions for no reason.. right?

Who knows

Only time will tell

And the voltron writers lol


(obviously I made most of what Lance is saying up but just imagine if he had feelings for Keith

what if?)

thefallinggame  asked:

Anzu and Yuugi working out makes me think of Jou and Honda hauling Yuugi off to the gym and trying to get him into weight lifting XD

Honda your military is showing.

[full size]

she is into WHAT

so my player who is a dark dwarf druid got stuck in the bedroom of this mansion. he was aware that the duke had a daughter who did…. questionable things.

dwarf: *comes out of the room wearing nothing but pants*

gaurd 1 : what are you doing here?

dwarf: yeah, i was just trying to leave discretly, i was here for bertha.

gaurd 2 : oh, you don’t seem like the usual type though maybe i should-

dwarf: *interrupts the gaurd, she wanted to try… shapeshifting…

gaurds: OH MY GOD.

dwarf: can i get payed now?

so due to the bastards charisma he got payed for sex he didn’t have… and the guard was never the same…