oh my god how i burst out laughing

“Prom was invented just to make girls starve so they can fit in a dress and compete over a stupid title.”

“Uh –” Derek blinks, eyes his sister dubiously, “I’m not a girl?”

Cora huffs. “Whatever.”

In the kitchen Laura bursts out laughing. “Don’t worry.” She yells. “Cora is just jealous she will have to wait five years to go to her own prom.”

“I’m not going!” Cora yells back. “Prom is stupid, I don’t even know why you’re going,” she tells Derek, “it’s not like you know how to have fun.”

Derek raises an eyebrow while Laura just laughs harder. “Oh my god.” Their older sister says. “I stay away for six months and Cora turns into a sassy queen.” She walks into the living room, pretends to wipe at her eyes. “I’m so proud.”

“You two are ridiculous.” Derek says, turning around. “And I’m just going because Erica promised to pay me. With ice cream.” Then he gives Cora a wicked smile. “That I’m not going to share with either of you.”

“You are the worst brother!” Cora yells as he begins to climb the stairs. “And I hope you fall on your ass while trying to dance!”

“Can’t hear you!” Derek’s cell begins to ring. “Too busy getting ready to prom!”

Laura lets out a high-pitched laughter. “I love you two so much.”

Derek shakes his head fondly, closes his bedroom door behind himself just as Cora tells Laura to shut up. “Hey.” He answers the phone, collapsing on his bed. “What’s up?”

“Yo,” Stiles answers, “whatcha doing?”

“Listening to my sisters fight.” He says, snorting when he hears his dad start complaining about all the yelling and ‘no, Cora, I’m not letting you go to prom, you’re thirteen!’. “I’m gonna have to check the trunk of my car tomorrow night.”

Stiles laughs. “She’s not that good.”

“If you keep teaching her, she will be.” Derek blurts out, curses himself mentally when he realizes it came out harsher than he intended.

It’s just – sometimes he can’t help it. He’s known Stiles since they were four, Cora wasn’t even born then, but one day she turned eleven and Stiles became her new favorite person. Stiles couldn’t find it funnier and took Cora as his little apprentice. He even taught her how to cheat on Mario Kart.

He’s never taught Derek that.

Derek rolls his eyes, thinks about his little sister still downstairs pouting and trying to convince their dad that she’s old enough to go out. He shouldn’t be jealous of her, but the thing is – he grew up with two sisters, he knows how to share toys and food, but he doesn’t know how to share Stiles.

Because Stiles is his.

Keep reading

My Death Note 2017 Commentary

As you can probably guess, spoilers ahead so don’t read if you wanna watch it! (Also, I’m gonna compare to the anime since, y’know, that’s what it’s based on.)·

  • Light’s screams when Ryuk first shows up.  Oh my god I burst out laughing.  Admittedly, that’s how someone would/should react in that situation but still, compared to anime Light, so very very dramatic.·         
  • So, I can kill him in any way possible huh?  DECAPITATION BITCHES.  (Also, wow, gory much?)·         
  • To Ryuk – ‘Your fingers are huge.”  Yes because that’s really what’s important here Light. ·         
  • “You don’t wanna know.”  2 seconds later.  “So basically I kill people lol watch this.”·        
  • Yeah let’s totally make out and have sex on the death note.  So romantic.
  • “Can I kiss you?”  “Lol, what, don’t ask.”  Oh, sorry Mia, is consent not sexy enough for you?·         
  • “You were gonna kill me if I took the book?!”  Am I supposed to feel bad for you?  Because I really don’t. ·         
  • “SING TO ME WATARI”·         
  • L’s love for Watari is actually pretty cute.·        
  • Watari deserved better 2k17·         
  • Light’s dad deserved better 2k17·         
  • Also, I don’t mind L having more emotions and shit (or, at least, making them more obvious) but dude looked like he was about to cry throughout the whole thing.  He needed more sugar.·
  • Ah yes, Light would totally pull faces in a picture (Light Yagami is turning in his grave)         
  • “I do love you….but I have written your name in the death note.  ;D”·         “GET ME MY FUCKING DEATH NOTE”  ·         
  • The chase scene with Light and L – they ain’t afraid to fuck shit up·         
  • Also, the guy who hits L on the back of the head – really??? Are we in a cartoon???·         
  • Light’s whole plan of killing Mia and getting the death note back – ahhhh there’s the Light I know and love to hate·         
  • Go on L, kill the guy, looks like he’s basically asking for it·         
  • Ryuk – “Lol, humans are funny.  Am I right audience?…Can i have more apples.” (I am convinced Ryuk didn’t kill Light just because he wanted apples.)

((Ghost hunter AU prompts because the world needs more of ghost hunting AUs.

  • “I can straight up see ghosts, you’re kind of sensitive to them and you could be hit by a rock by one and not notice, let’s form a ghost hunting team”
  • “I thought I saw something legitimate but it turns out it was just a baby raccoon”
  • Persion A: “We’re investigating a church, don’t swear. It’s disrespectful. Person B: "I won’t swear. You won’t hear a profane perp from me. *thirty seconds later after being touched by something* whaT THE FUCK?!” Person C: “*Bursts out laughing*.” Person A: “We’re going to Hell.”
  • “No, we are not summoning a demon with A Ouija board. That’s, like, step number one of how to get killed by one.”
  • “Oh my God is that a puppy??? Holy shit that’s a puppy. How did a puppy get in here???”
  • “I swear to God if any of these dolls laugh or so much as twitch, I will burn this place to the ground.”
  • “Don’t freak out, but there is a ghost behind you making silly faces at the back of your head.”
  • Person B: “*Trips over a chair*” Person A: “Oh my Got did you just trip over a chair?” Person B: “Why do we have to investigate n the dark?!” Person C: “I caught it all on camera.”
  • “Did you just get startled by a cobweb?”
  • “We’re professionals. *Gets scared by a plank of wood falling* … Completely professional.”
  • Person A: “ SOMETHING JUST PINCHED MY ASS.” Person B:  "The ghost knows a great ass when they see one.“
  • "All of us just screamed like little girls after getting scared by a stray cat we never speak of this again, understood?”

))

Maybe We Can Be Friends - Uma x Harry x Gil x Reader


Originally posted by tommy-doherty

Requested: I was just going to ask if you could write an imagine where Uma and her crew come to Auradon and they’re greeted by this really sweet and cute girl who ends up being Queen Clarion’s daughter? So at first Uma didn’t really like her but in the end they end up being really close because the girl revealed she didn’t really like Mal either and can you throw in a little Harry? I’m sorry and thank you <3

A/N alright this is my first time doing an Imagine like this and I’m quite excited to try this! Hope you love it (: thank you for the request @meiwasesu

Keep reading

BNHA: count your blessings, not your flaws

Summary: Midoriya Izuku has never been asked out, confessed to, or flirted with, except as a joke.

AO3


Shouto knows he isn’t good at this.

He never has been. He can’t tell whether this is just the way he is, or it’s one more thing he can blame on his father, but he knows that he isn’t good at this. People call him stoic, and cold. Some even call him mysterious. Others call him emotionless.

It’s not that he doesn’t feel. He does feel, but it all gets locked inside and none of it ever shows. Sometimes it’s because he can’t show it. Other times it’s because he’s afraid to.

Keep reading

Tease pt. 2 (M)

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: angst, fluff and a little bit of smut

Word Count: 2,337

Summary: (33- “Bite me” “If you insist.”) Ever since you moved next door to Baekhyun, you have been the victim of his teasing and you had enough.

A/N: Hi, sorry everyone. I know I said I’d post sooner but I’ve been hella busy and I had really bad writer’s block. But here it is and I hope you enjoy!

Part 1, Part 2

Originally posted by sefuns


Part 2

He can’t see you the same anymore. Baekhyun can’t see you the same in class, when you walk by him with your friends, and now he can’t see you the same at Suho’s party. 

He didn’t expect to see you there. He thought you were so invested in your studies that you didn’t have time to go out, let alone go to a party. 

Ever since the day you humiliated him and left him with a hard on, he couldn’t look you in the eye. He hasn’t spoken to you and you haven’t spoken to him. 

You assumed he finally understood the annoyance and extremity of his teasing after you gave him a taste of his own medicine. But little did you know that he had other things in mind. 

Keep reading

BTS reaction: calling them while on tour because you can’t cum

Yoongi 

Since Yoongi has been gone on tour, you decide that it’d be best if you buy something that can fulfill your needs. So you and friends go to a little adult store and you pick up a vibrator. You think it’s a little foolish, but you can’t do anything since Yoongi isn’t here. You think to yourself that Suga cannot know about this by any means. 

You finally get home to test out your new little friend, but you feel a bit odd. You try it anyway. You start up the vibrator laying it on your clit, and immediately you start to love it. As you continue to move it in circular motions, you feel your breathing become heavier and the pit in your stomach become stronger. You close your eyes and let out a loud moan, but soon as you’re about to cum you stop. You start to cry because you realize how much you miss Yoongi and that you won’t be seeing him for another 2 months. You pick up the phone and dial Yoongi’s number.

“Hey baby, what’s up?” you can almost hear his smile you’ve been missing.

“I bought a vibrator today, and I’m using it now but I can’t cum because I miss you too much!” you say so fast Yoongi didn’t have time to get his words out.

“Um, Y/N you were on speaker… you gonna have to call you and help you later.” He laughs and you hang up the phone so fast, obviously super embarrassed. 

You sigh in frustration, “I’ll just wait until he comes home I guess!”

Originally posted by jeonbase

Rap Monster 

You’ve been trying every night for the last 3 days but you just can’t seem to do it. Ever since Namjoon left for tour you find it hard to do anything. This includes cumming. You can’t cum for shit, you just find it hard because Namjoon isn’t the one making it cum. You decide to facetime Namjoon, 

He picks up on the first ring “Hey cutie!”

“I’m sick of this..” you sound sad.

“What? The relationship? Why are you breaking up with me? I didn’t even do anything.” Namjoon is stumbling over his words.

“Omg no! I meant the fact that I can’t cum, like I try but I can’t do it!” Namjoon laughs. 

“Well, how about I fly you out and we let my tongue handle it, baby.”

You like the sound of those words.  

Originally posted by ygnj

Jimin 

“Ugh just a little more baby, oh my god imma cum!” you watch Jimin on face time feeling all the pleasure that you’d wish you could feel. Phone sex just wasn’t your thing, you’ve told him that many times.

“You know Jiminie this isn’t fair, you get to cum every time!” Jimin burst out in laughter

“come on babe, just touch yourself it’s not that hard!” he’s still laughing.

“It’s not funnnyy, I want you to do it!” you honestly wanted to cry. 

“I’m hanging up, gu bye!”

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

Taehyung

“You can’t do what babe!?” Tae says laughing.

“I said I can’t cum Tae. Why is that so funny?” You’re on the verge of tears because of embarrassment.  

“Because you’reeee so nastyyy Y/N” he laughs again. 

Originally posted by jeonbase

Jin

*Sends you this gif because it alone would make anybody cum!*

Originally posted by jxnhyungs

J-hope 

After explaining to Hobi why you can’t cum he insists that it’s because you haven’t seen his face in a while. So he facetime’s you to get some visuals for your mind before you go in on yourself. 

“Well maybe if I pose like this you can get somewhere!”  

Originally posted by huang-zitao

Jungkook

“It’s okay baby, I’ll be home next week. I promise you’ll be cumming non stop then!” 

Originally posted by happybirthdayjjk

felt super awk while writing this :) lol enjoyyy! ~Rae ♥

The Summer Fling (Chapter 1) - Dylan O’Brien

Author: @were-cheetah-stiles

Title: “Boardy Barn”

Relationship: Dylan O’Brien x Reader/OFC

Author’s Note: You guys thought I was joking about writing something about me hating that Dylan smokes… never think that I am kidding (except, always assume that I am kidding…). This will be a short series. I’m imposing a limit on myself. Whatever. Don’t read it. It’s dumb. This will likely be the only Dylan shit I ever write. Okay byeeee.

Chapter One - Chapter Two 

Originally posted by alienlikealifestyle

“You okay, Dyl?”

“This is a lot of drunk people… this is just a lot of people in general, and I feel like some people have recognized me, an-“

“Dyl.. you wanted to come with me.”

“Well, I didn’t want to just sit at the house all day.”

“You’re going to be fine. You have sunglasses and a hat and some of this crap.” Julia rubbed her fingers against the stubble on his face in an aggressive, teasing sisterly way. “No one’s going to recognize you, why don’t we get you a drink so you can chill out.”

Dylan rolled his eyes, regardless of the fact that he knew his sister would not be able to see it behind his jet black Ray Ban sunglasses. He sighed and followed her through the throngs of sweaty and beer-soaked bodies towards the bar. He sidled up next to her and pressed his elbows against the bar.

That’s cool.” He said sarcastically, pursing his lips, as he removed his elbows from the beer-soaked counter, and peeled a sticky bottle cap off of his skin. His head whipped around when he heard someone say his older sister’s name excitedly.

Keep reading

Can I help you, Officer? (Jimin x Reader)


Admin:
Mimi

Prompt/Ask: Can you do a jimin request??? Where jimin is your sexy hot husband and a cop and when he pulls you over for speeding he punishes you.😉😉😉😉😉😉

Fandom: BTS

Genre: Smut

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Warnings: car sex, language, partially dangerous driving

Word Count: 2498

Authors Note: I suck at smut lmao, I always feel like I’m really bad at writing it. Oh well, in time hopefully I’ll be better. Here’s some spicy Officer Jimin for you all ;)))) If there are any errors let me know, and I hope you enjoy!

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tearful goodbyes | kj apa x reader

Originally posted by asosyalbey

request

prompt: 32- “it’s okay to cry”

“final call for boarding to vancouver gate 3, final call for boarding to vancouver gate 3, thank you”

you cling tight to your boyfriend tears threatening to spill for, your eyes as you know you have to let go of him in a matter of seconds.

“ill be back babe, you can come visit in a month or two” you pull back and glance into his eyes, he dips down and plants a warm kiss on your forehead as he fiddles with your hair.

“i know but a month or two, it’s such a long time” you whine tears spilling from your eyes “ugh im sorry im crying again” i chuckle causing myself to cry harder

“hey hey-” he whispers soothingly tilting my chin up to look into his eyes “it’s okay to cry baby- we can talk everyday i promise” you join your lips with before you break apart.

hands still joined as we wait in the queue for kj to be checked onto the plane “do you have to go” you stall tugging on his arm causing the red haired boy to laugh

“i do” he reassures me pulling me into his chest, an arm wrapped protectively across my shoulders

“i don’t know if i trust a faux red head” you state chasing the boy to burst into laughter, god how you loved his laugh.

a grin spreads wide on his face as he struggles to catch his breathe “you can trust me okay- it’ll go by soo fast you’ll be whining that you don’t have the whole bed to yourself”

i roll my eyes, my tears drying “okay that is a good point, you’re definitely a bed hog, oh and super messy” you complain “and i can go out more and get super drunk-” you joke

he stops turning to face you “okay can you go back to the blubbering mess? because now it seems like your not even going to miss me” he complains pulling out his puppy eyes.

“you’re such a dork” i poke his chest as he’s called next in line his boarding pass checked before the lady gives him the all clear to board.

he takes his pass back and grabs his bag before walking back over to you, wrapping you up in a tight embrace, kissing your head “god im going to miss you” he whispers breathing in your scent.

“you’ll have cole- im sure you won’t be without a cuddle buddy for long” i tease and he pouts clinging to me for dear life

“but you’re my favourite cuddle buddy” you let out and laugh playing with his sweatshirt.

“now who’s the one being clingy huh?” he buries his face in your neck erupting a giggle as he’s stubble tickles your neck

“kj! you’re going to miss your flight” you try and reason with him as he gives you and eye roll connecting your lips together, his hand creeping down to your ass giving it a full squeeze

“keneti james fitzgerald apa did you just squeeze my ass” you scold secretly loving it

pecking your lips he grins “god im going to miss your ass” you smack his chest, the both of you falling into laughter.

“you gotta go kj” you whisper a tear spilling from the corner of your eye, he nods giving you another kiss before placing one on your cheek

“i love you” he whisper backing away from you

“i love you too, have a safe flight” you yell down the terminal as you watch the grin on the red headed boy grow smaller and smaller as he walked further and further away.

what a goof ball.

Cozy Day - Tom Holland Imagine

Originally posted by cuddlesandcashmere


I’ve been feeling kinda sad today so I decided to write something since writing always cheer me up :) even though its springtime where i live it’s raining a lot, is super cloudy and foggy and i’ve been picturing this perfect cozy autumn day with tom in my head so here you go (also october is here so yay 🎃)


warnings: fluff, fluff, lots of flUFF

pairing: tom holland x reader

word count: 1,020


ps: i wrote this listening to ‘I Knew This Would Be Love’ by Imaginary Future, I really recommend listening to it while you read it, it’s such a calming and romantic song <3


I woke up to the gentle sound of rain pattering against my window. Sighing, I slowly opened my eyes and peeked at the sky through the silky white curtains. All was grey, heavy clouds mounting on top of each other and thunders echoing across the air. Almost no sound of cars, horns or people passing by could be heard. On this peaceful sunday morning, most of London was still asleep.

While still contemplating whether or not to stay in bed, I suddenly felt a strong pair of arms engulfing my body in a warm embrace.


“Hey”, Tom said in a groggy voice, his hot breath against my ear, “why are you awake so early in the morning, darling?” he wondered, curious about why I had my eyes open at 8:00 in the morning on a sunday.


“Don’t know. Just woke up on my own, I guess. But this rain, oh my god. I could stay here forever.”


“Then let’s” he replied, a lazy smile appearing upon his rosy lips. He always looked so good in the mornings, his soft brown hair was everywhere and his toned chest looked perfect under the white duvet.


“Let’s stay here forever”, he continued, letting a loud sigh escape through his mouth.


“I’d love that”, I answered smiling, “but… how about we have a cozy day in? We could watch halloween movies, bake cookies, drink coffee and snuggle under the blankets. What do you think?


“Yeah, that sounds pretty good too, actually” he replied, moving my long hair away from my shoulder. “I’m gonna go make us some coffee then. Do you want to start with the cookies?”


“Yes!” I said, getting off of bed and trying to contain my excitement, “I’m gonna bake us my grandma’s recipe, the pumpkin spiced ones that you love.”


“Let’s go then, before Tessa wakes up and demands us to take her on a morning walk.”


Laughing about how spoiled his dog was we both headed downstairs and started the things in the kitchen.

We spent the whole morning baking cookies, listening to Ed Sheeran and dancing along the music in oversized sweaters and sweatpants. Tom’s cheeks were pink because of the warmth inside the house and he never looked more adorable. After we finished eating and cleaned up the kitchen we finally sat down to watch something.


“Okay, what do you wanna watch?” Tom asked, letting me rest my head upon his shoulder and throwing the fuzzy blanket over the both of us.


“Do you even have to ask?”


“The Nightmare Before Christmas again? Are you serious right now?” he asked me laughing, not understanding how could I watch the same movie so many times and not grow tired of it.


“Yes, I’m serious. It is the best festive movie there is and you know it!”


“My god, you watched that thing so many times I already know all the songs by heart”


“And that, my dear, is one of the most important requirements if you want to keep being my boyfriend”


“Okay, I give up” he said, throwing his head back and closing his eyes, a playful smile on his lips.


I jumped up and down on the couch, clapping my hands together like a giddy little kid, I just couldn’t help it.

After singing This Is Halloween together and imitating all the silly voices in the song, we finally settled down and started watching the movie.

His hands were softly massaging my head and his heartbeat was calm and steady against my ear. Just as I was about to fall asleep, Tom suddenly burst out laughing, making me jump a little.


“Oh my god, I almost forgot how funny this movie actually is.” He said, still with a goofy smile on his face, “I love the part where they kidnap Sandy Claws!”


And suddenly this rush of love and admiration for him just hit me. He was wearing a worn out sweater that was impregnated with his smell and his brown eyes were sparkling due to the brightness of the TV against them.


“I love you, do you know that?”


“What?” He asked me with a confused expression on his face, his laughter dying down a bit, “where did that come from, love?”


“I don’t know. You’re just… I love you.” I replied, laughing a little at myself. Not even I knew where that was coming from.

“I guess this whole day with you just feels kinda like a dream? It’s all my favorite things together and I couldn’t be more happy that you love them just as much as I do.” I looked down at my hands, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden.


Without saying anything, Tom just stared at me for a few seconds and gently pressed his lips against mine. He didn’t even need to say anything. Everything was there, in that kiss.


“I love you too, darling. And if watching Jack Skellington sing about pumpkins and christmas trees makes you that happy, I’d do it a thousand more times.” he said, putting a string of my hair behind my ear.


I brushed my thumb against his face and kissed him again, a silent way of thanking him for being so sweet. I layed my head upon his chest and closed my eyes, just wanting to stay in that moment for as long as I could. His breathing was calm, the rain outside was gentle and the warmth of his embrace was enough to lull me into a peaceful and deep sleep.

“…I think I made a mistake.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Oh my God, you had Tony eating out of the palm of your hand. Why are you not fucking him right now?”

Steve cringed. “…Because I made a mistake.”

Bucky turned to scowl at him. “How in the fuck did you mess up right before sealing the deal?”

“I, uh, well.” Steve blushed bright red. “We were… making out. And talking. …Dirtily.”

Bucky sat up straight. “Steve, you’ve never talked dirty in your life unless it was swearing like a sailor.”

“I know,” Steve hissed, glaring at him. “Which is how I made the mistake! Don’t tell Natasha because she’ll murder me!”

“Fine.” Bucky was going to tell Natasha all about this. “And what mistake was that?”

“I! Um!” Steve turned away abruptly, rubbing his arm. “…Tony said. Um. That he’d been naughty. And needed to be punished.”

“Oh nooo,” Bucky whispered, hands going to his cheeks.

“And I kind of panicked, you know, because Tony, uh. He’s kind of. Self-destructive sometimes.”

Bucky continued to stare at him in awe, and wondered if this was what watching a train wreck was like.

“So I said–” Steve stopped, then swallowed thickly. “I said, ‘it’s okay, I forgive you. We all make mistakes.’”

This was a train wreck caused by smashing into a wall of baby bunnies holy shit.

“So, uh. Well, it took Tony a minute to realize what I’d said. And then he did. And. Um.” Steve stared out the window. “He walked into the bathroom and he’s been in there for fifteen minutes.”

“Steve, you fucking idiot,” Bucky whispered.

Steve groaned and collapsed onto the floor. “I know, okay?!”

The door to their apartment burst open, and there was Natasha. “Why did I get an SOS text from Tony?!”

Steve gaped at her, terrified.

“…Steve made a mistake,” Bucky answered quickly, perfectly willing to throw his best friend under the bus. “He’s in the bathroom.”

“If he’s bleeding,” Natasha hissed, letting the threat hang there as she stalked to the bathroom.

Steve stared at the ceiling, resigned. His mom had always worried that he wouldn’t make it to thirty-five. He should have known she’d been just as worried about him saying the wrong thing as she was him coughing his lungs out.

He cringed as he heard Natasha burst out laughing, but it was quickly muffled, and then there were hurried whispers. A few minutes later, she exited the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind her. She was grinning.

“Do you always grin before you murder people?” Steve asked sadly.

“Bucky, come fuck me at my place,” she ordered cheerfully. “Steve, see to Tony.”

“What,” Steve said, but she’d already grabbed Bucky’s ear and was dragging him out–not that he looked too put-out about it. He watched the door close behind them, then awkwardly got to his feet and approached the bathroom. “Um. Tony? Can I come in?”

The door opened just a crack, and he slipped inside.

His stomach fell to the floor when he saw tears running down Tony’s cheeks. “Oh my God.”

Tony peeked up at him, then threw his head back and slid down the toilet so his back was on the lid instead of his butt. His entire body was shaking, and he covered his mouth. “St-!”

“I’m sorry,” Steve said hurriedly. “I didn’t mean to–Are you fucking laughing?!” he shouted when he realized that the other man was grinning.

Tony waved his free hand frantically, little wheezing noises escaping from between his fingers.

“I can’t believe this! I thought–I thought I’d ruined everything, and you just came in here to laugh?!” Steve exclaimed, but it was hard to stay angry when Tony finally let out a bark of laughter as he slid off the toilet and onto the floor. “Yeah, laugh it up, you dick!”

Tony wrapped his arms around his stomach, once again laughing so hard that he was making no sounds except for tiny wheezes.

Steve couldn’t help the smile that came to his lips. “I thought Natasha was going to murder me, Tony!”

“HAAAHAHA!” Tony rocked onto his other side, kicking his feet wildly.

“Tony!” Steve grabbed his shoulders so he wouldn’t knock himself out on the tub. “It’s not that funny!”

“You were so earnest,” Tony sobbed out, grinning. “Oh my God!”

Steve rolled his eyes, smiling fondly, and bent down to kiss his laughing mouth. “Well, how was I supposed to know what was going on?”

“I expected you to say I needed a spanking or something,” Tony admitted, lifting a hand to wipe his eyes. “Oh God! Do I have abs? I feel like I should have abs from how hard and long I laughed.”

Steve grinned, which then faded into an awkward smile. “Um. I’m hard and long.”

“STEVE!” Tony screeched, bursting into laughter again, but took some of the sting out of it by pressing giggly, open-mouthed kisses to his jaw and neck. “That was awful!”

“Yeah,” Steve admitted, but couldn’t bring himself to be actually embarrassed. “Why did you send Natasha an SOS text if you were just in here laughing?”

“I wasn’t trying to, I was trying to type out what had happened, but I was laughing so hard the words got mixed up and she thought something was wrong.”

Steve paused. “…What do I have to do to keep you from telling everyone?”

“Everyone already knows!” Tony laughed. “Natasha sent a group text about it!”

“Aw, fuck!” Steve swore, because God damn it now Clint and Sam were going to be insufferable.

Tony drew him down for another kiss, laughing quietly into his mouth. “’ll make it worth your while?” he offered, smiling up at him.

“…I mean, I might as well get sex if my friends are going to torment me,” Steve decided, and rolled his eyes when Tony burst out laughing and sputtering ‘no okay I’ll calm down in a minute I swear!’

on trust and manipulation

Back in early high school, I knew a girl - we were kinda friends by virtue of having multiple friends in common, but in hindsight, she never much liked me - who had this purebred dog. I’d met him at her place, and he wasn’t desexed, which was pretty unusual in my experience, so it stuck in the memory. And one day, as we were walking across the playground, this girl - I’ll call her Felice - said to me, “Hey, so we’re going to start using my dog as a stud.” And I’m like, Oh? And she’s like, “Yeah, we’ve been talking to breeders, we’re going to get to see his puppies and everything,” and I made interested noises because that actually sounded pretty interesting, and she went on a little bit more about how it would all work -

And then, out of nowhere, she swapped this sly look with another girl, burst out laughing and exclaimed, “God, you’re so gullible. I literally just made that up. You’ll believe anything!”

And I was just. Dumbfounded. Because I was standing there, staring at them, and they were laughing like I was an idiot, like they’d pulled this massive trick on me, and all I could think, apart from why the fuck they felt moved to do this in the first place, was that neither of them knew what gullible means. Like, literally nothing in that story was implausible! I knew she had an undesexed, male, purebred dog! It made total sense that he be used for a stud! And it wasn’t like I was getting this information from a second party - the person who actually owned the dog was telling me herself! And I felt so immensely frustrated, because they both walked off before I could figure out how to articulate that gullible means taking something unlikely or impossible at face value, whereas Felice had told me a very plausible lie, and while the end result in both cases is that the believer is tricked, the difference was that I wasn’t actually being stupid. Rather, Felice had manipulated the fact that she occupied a position of relative social trust - meaning, I didn’t have any reason to expect her to lie to me - to try and make me feel stupid.

Which, thinking back, was kind of par for the course with Felice. On another occasion, as our group was walking from Point A to Point B, I felt a tugging jostle on my school bag. I didn’t turn around, because I knew my friends were behind me, and my bag was often half-zipped - I figured someone was just shoving something back in that had fallen out, or had grabbed it in passing as they horsed around. Instead, Felice steps up beside me, grinning, and hands me my wallet, which she’d just pulled out, and tells me how oblivious I was for not noticing that she’d been rifling my bag, and how I ought to pay more attention. This was not done playfully: the clear intent, again, was to make me feel stupid for trusting that my friends - which, in that context, included her - weren’t going to fuck with me. As before, I couldn’t explain this to her, and she walked on, pleased with herself, before I could try.

The worst time, though, was when I came back from the canteen at lunch one day, and Felice, again backed up by another girl, told me that my dad had showed up on campus looking for me. By this time, you’d think I’d have cottoned on to her particular way of fucking with me, but I hadn’t, and my dad worked close enough to the school that he really could’ve stopped in. So I believed her, a strange little lurch in my stomach that I couldn’t quite place, and asked where he was. She said he’d gone looking for me elsewhere, at another building where we sometimes sat, and so I hurried off to look for him, feeling more and more anxious as I wondered why he might be there.

I was halfway across campus before I let myself remember that my mother was in hospital.

I felt physically sick. My pulse went through the roof; I couldn’t think of a reason why my dad would be at school looking for me that didn’t mean something terrible had happened to my mother, that her surgery had gone wrong, that she was sick or hurt or dying. And when my dad wasn’t where she’d said he would be, I hurried back to Felice - who was now sitting with half our mutual group of friends - only to be met with laughter. She called me gullible again, and that time, I snapped. I chased her down and punched her, and the friends who’d only just arrived, who didn’t know what had happened or why I was reacting like that, instantly took her side. Noises were made about telling the rest of our friends what I’d done, and I didn’t want them to hear Felice’s version first, so I ran off to the library, where I knew they were, to tell them first.

I walked into the library. I found our other friends. I was shaky and red-faced, and they asked me what had happened. I told them what Felice had done, that I’d hit her for it, that my mother was in hospital for an operation - something I’d mentioned in passing over the previous week; multiple people nodded in recognition - and how I’d thought Felice’s lie meant that something bad had happened. And then I burst into tears, something I almost never did, because it wasn’t until I said it out loud that I realised how genuinely frightened I’d been. I sat down at the table and cried, and a girl - I’ll call her Laurel - who I’d never really been close to - who was, in fact, much better friends with Felice than with me - put her arm around my shoulders and hugged me, volubly furious on my behalf.

And then the other girls showed up, and Laurel said, with that particular vicious sincerity that only twelve-year-olds can really muster, “Prepare to die, Felice,” and I almost wanted to laugh, but didn’t. A girl who was a close friend, who’d come in with Felice, took her side, outraged that I’d punched someone, until Laurel spoke up about my mother being in hospital, and everyone went really quiet. Which was when I remembered, also belatedly, that Laurel’s own mother was dead; had died of cancer several years previously, which explained why she of all people was so angry. I have a vivid memory of the look on Felice’s face, how she tried to play it off - she said she hadn’t known about my mother, I pointed out that I’d mentioned it multiple times at lunch that week, and she lost all high ground with everyone.    

Felice never played a trick on me again.

Eighteen years later, I still think about these incidents, not because I’m bearing some outdated grudge, but because they’re a good example of three important principles: one, that even with seemingly benign pranks, there’s a difference between acting with friendly or malicious intent; two, that ignorance of context can have a profound effect on the outcome regardless of what you meant; and three, that getting hurt by people who abuse your trust doesn’t make you gullible - it means you’re being betrayed. 

And I feel like this is information worth sharing.  

Flufflet #3 for @lifeinahole27 as a reward for writing her CSBB!

Sometime after the season 6 finale, the gang decides to look into the whole “song inside me” thing, and Blue is able to return their memories of the whole debacle.


“I can’t believe we forgot all this,” Snow said, almost whispering.

“It was necessary,” Blue said, like that explained everything, which it didn’t. But this was Blue, so it was about as good of an explanation as anyone was ever going to get.

“Yeah, well, it was a memory I could have done without,” Regina said, as though she had a bad taste in her mouth. “Me, singing and dancing like some kind of …”

"Don’t say it,” David warned.

“Disney character,” Henry finished. “I wish I could have seen it and heard it. All I have is the page here.”

“Look,” Emma said. “What matters is that all of your songs–the happy ones, the sad ones, the angry ones–all of them, that’s what I needed to keep the Black Fairy from crushing my heart. So even if you’re embarrassed now, I’m grateful.”

Snow and David smiled almost beatifically, and Regina sighed. Zelena shrugged. “I’ve nothing to be embarrassed about; I sounded fantastic.”

“Better than me?” David challenged.

“I think the Rabbit Hole does karaoke,” Snow said. “If we want to find out.”

Emma snickered at the thought of her dad and Zelena going head to head in a karaoke competition. Killian, though, was uncharacteristically silent.

Actually, he’d been quiet the whole time. She turned to look at him, but he refused to meet her gaze, staring at Blue instead. Weird.


“So, what’s wrong?” she asked as she plopped down on the bed and watched as he finished pulling on his pajamas.

“What’s that, love?”

“What’s wrong? You’ve been acting weird since Blue gave you guys your … musical memories back. Why?” She paused. “Was your song embarrassing or something?”

“No.”

“Well, I know you can’t be insecure about your singing voice. You already know I think you’ve got a sexy one.”

He chuckled. “No.”

“Well, what then? And don’t tell me you’re not upset because we both know you are.”

He sighed as he climbed into bed and pulled her into his arms. “All right, but it’s … odd, I suppose.”

“I’m the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming and I’m married to Captain Hook. My closest friends are the Evil Queen, and her sister, the Wicked Witch, and Belle from Beauty and the Beast. I think I’m good with odd.”

“Not sure it’s the same variety of odd, love, but fair enough.”

“Just tell me.”

“I’m trying to.” He paused. “You recall your parents and Regina discussing their musical tete-a-tete?”

“Yeah.” God, she would have paid so much money to see that.

“They showed up at the tavern I was drinking at, offered me all the gold and jewels I wanted, and asked for me to take them to Regina. I refused their payment, insisting the only thing that would satisfy me would be my revenge.”

“And by insisting, I’m assuming …”

“Aye, I may have insisted rather musically,” he admitted.

“So you’re upset because you refused?”

“No, I agreed,” he said. “They realized I wanted revenge on the Dark One and told me they had him prisoner. We struck a deal, and I brought them to Regina as requested.”

“Okay.” Was he upset that her parents had almost been complicit in him murdering Gold? That he’d brought them to Regina like they’d asked? “I don’t get what’s wrong,” she admitted.

“I–” He took a deep breath. “It’s just so strange.”

“Killian–”

“Emma, you were there.”

“I–what? No, I wasn’t.”

“Yes, you were.”

Oh. Oh.

“So you’re upset because you bumped into my mom when she was pregnant with me?”

“I’m not upset,” he corrected. “It’s just odd, isn’t it? Here I am, singing about how all I care about is revenge, and my unborn wife is right there.”

She couldn’t help it. She wished she could have, with her husband sitting next to her, clearly struggling with the whole scenario. She should have been supportive and understanding.

But she couldn’t help it. She burst out laughing.

“Oi, this isn’t funny, Swan.” The giggles would not stop. “Swan, please, you can’t tell me you don’t find this at least slightly strange!”

“Oh come on,” she said, trying to regain her breath. “Killian, you’re, like, three hundred years older than I am and that hasn’t mattered to either of us.”

“But this is different!”

“Not that different.” She burst out laughing again. “Oh my god, you, like … practically serenaded me while I was in the womb!”

“It wasn’t a serenade, and I wasn’t–love, you must stop laughing.”

“Sorry, I’m sorry!” But she couldn’t.

He sighed angrily and moved away, turning to shut off the lamp on his nightstand. “Well, good night, then.”

“Killian, come on.” Okay, it was less funny now. Still funny, obviously, but with how upset he was getting, she needed to cut it out. “Look, it’s really not that weird.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Will it be weird when I get pregnant to sing to our unborn kid?” He didn’t answer. “Because that’s a normal thing, you know? And then they come out and grow up into adults, and you don’t sit there feeling weird that you used to sing to them before they were born.”

Not that she’d had any experience in that area. Even if she hadn’t had a cellmate in juvie, she probably wouldn’t have tried singing to her baby bump. But that had been a different situation; if Neal hadn’t given her up, and they’d stayed together, the two of them would definitely have done it.

“I know that’s different,” she said, when Killian didn’t respond. At least her giggles had subsided. “Because it’s your kid and not your future spouse. But still, it’s really not that weird.”

“No, that’s not it.” His voice was tentative, like he was unsure of what he was about to say. “Just … when you get pregnant?”

She froze. She’d made offhanded references to hypothetical siblings for Henry, but at no point had she explicitly told Hook that she wanted more kids. And now it had just kind of slipped out, and not in a way that she would have wanted to put it when she eventually brought it up.

“I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “I know we haven’t talked about it. I shouldn’t have said it.”

“No, no.” And now his arms were around her again. “You want more children, Emma?”

“I mean … yeah, I do. I guess we should have talked about it before we got married and stuff.”

“Because you believe that I’m not interested in having children with you?”

“I didn’t say that,” she pointed out. “Just, you’ve told me that Milah never wanted more kids and you were fine with that.”

“I loved Milah deeply,” he said. “I knew that being with her meant that my only experience as a father would be if we went back for Baelfire, and I was willing to accept that life. But it wasn’t because I didn’t want children of my own.”

“Oh.”

His arms tightened around her. “Swan, I would love to have children with you. More than anything.”

“Oh?” Her heart beat faster.

“Mmhmm.”

“Okay, but you have to promise me something.”

“Anything.”

“You’ve got to sing that song for me.”

Imagínate

Request/Summary: puedes hacer latinxpeterparker? :) gracias! -your fellow hispanic nerd [@worldsroses] | Peter gets some very much needed ayuda en español.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Latinx!Reader

Word Count: 1433

A/N: I loved writing this because it’s silly and cute, and I hope you all enjoy this! Note: there are no translations included for the Spanish in the fic, sorry :/ Hopefully I’ll start writing more fics in Spanish for all my lovely latinx gente out there :) | masterlist

Originally posted by deanwinchestor


Keep reading

Long Distance (Chapter Five)

I love this chapter! Our boys are the cutest! Can’t wait to hear what you guys think!

ADDITIONAL CHAPTERS HERE

Enjoy :)
*********************

{Group Text}

From Steve– good morning honey. My last class gets out at 345 today, and Bucky has to be at practice at 5, so we will have about 45 minutes free when we can all talk. Does that work?

From Tony–sounds perfect. Are we just group texting now?

From Bucky–yep. I’m tired of being  left out of your conversations. I need to be included in everything from now on.

From Tony– is Bucky the needy one? I am usually the needy one in a relationship, this will be new for me.

From Bucky–aw you can be needy all you want, sweet thing. We will take care of you

From Steve– yes, Bucky is definitely the needy one.

From Bucky– I feel like that’s enough from the blonde. Don’t you have a class on play-doh to teach

From Tony– daaaaaaamn. Bucky with the snark.

From Steve– I do have a class, we both have full days. Can’t wait to talk this afternoon, honey.

From Bucky– yeah really. So excited to see you Tony

From Tony– have a good day, guys.

Keep reading

Arachnophobia ~ Peter Parker

Request: Hello! May I request an imagine where reader is afraid of spiders and she calls peter to take care of it but when peter gets the spider he teases her? If you can do this thank you in advance!

Warnings: fluff, swearing, this is more of a drabble I guess

Word count: 635

Peter was startled by the sound of a girl screaming. He practically fell out of his bed. He dropped the book he was reading on the ground trying to figure out the source of the noise. It didn’t take him long to figure out it was his neighbor/best friend. He walked up to the door knocking.

“Y/N are you okay” He yelled. He heard footsteps getting closer to the door.

“Thank god you’re here, I almost died” she breathed dragging Peter into the apartment by his shirt with one hand quickly closing the door. She had a white towel wrapped around her body, and her hair was dripping water. The sight of his best friend barely clothed made him slightly choke on air, but he covered it up with a cough. “I was in the shower” she panted.

“Um, yeah I see that, why were you screaming bloody murder,” he asked, laughing.

“Okay well, I was minding my own business taking a nice, warm, relaxing shower, and the next thing I know I look up, and there’s a huge ass spider hanging from the damn ceiling” she exclaimed, waving her open hand in the air. Peter bursts out laughing at how much she was overreacting.

“That’s why you screamed bloody murder for the whole apartment building to hear” he choked out through his laughs.

“Oh my god Peter shut up, I hate spiders,” she said playfully slapping him.

“But you don’t hate me, and I’m Spiderman,” he smirked.

“I hate you right now” she giggled crossing her arms trying to act angry. Peter gave her the puppy dog face wiping an imaginary tear from his cheek acting hurt by her sarcastic words. “I won’t hate you if you kill it” she smiled a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

“Fine, I’ll kill the harmless spider” he laughed.

“Thank you so so much Peter I love you” she bubbled giving Peter a kiss on the cheek. He walked to the bathroom, Y/N following behind. She stood in the doorway as Peter killed the spider with a Kleenex.

“There it’s dead” he laughed taking the spider to the toilet.

“You practically just committed murder because you are basically a spider” she giggled, as Peter flushed the spider down the toilet.

“Did you know that you can eat spiders in your sleep” Peter popped a random fact just to scare her.

“Oh. my. God. stop now” she cried tucking her towel in and covering her ears.

“That spider probably laid eggs in your shower” Peter laughed, as her eyes went wide.

“I’m never taking a shower in that shower ever again” she shrieked throwing her hand in the air, running to her room.

“There are probably spiders in your bedroom” Peter yelled back.

“Peter I actually hate you so much right now, but I’m terrified, and I’m staying at your house tonight because you can protect me from the spiders” she breathed walking out of her bedroom in pajamas.

“Fine by me, you better hope I don’t summon an army of spiders” he chuckled, but Y/N looked at him like he was insane.

“You can do that” she whispered, hugging herself. She was truly terrified.

“No, Y/N, I can’t, and don’t worry as long as you’re with me nothing is ever going to happen to you,” Peter said wrapping his arm around her. She cuddled into his shoulder as they walked to Peter’s apartment.

“Thanks, Peter” she mumbled pulling him closer.

Love Like A Comic Book || Peter Parker x Reader

{summary: your friend gives you a worn notebook filled with a drawn comic that depicts you together with spider-man, however, there’s just one problem.

you can’t draw to save your life, and you have no idea who would be crushing on you hard enough to draw you as spider-man’s love interest.}

inspired by Nathaniel Kurtzberg’s character on Miraculous Ladybug. Pls pretend that peter is somewhat artistic for this story.

also, this is dedicated to my dead laptop. RIP bae, you will be missed as I attempt to type all of my future stories on my phone 。゚(TヮT)゚。

warnings: none

OC mention: David “Dave” Pennington: [Name’s] best friend

[author’s note: okay so Dave has been a long time OC of mine, and admittedly, I drew inspiration from Dave Strider in personality and appearance. However, just to make this a bit more fun, you readers can also picture David Pennington as looking like Harrison Osterfield ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ]

**dont repost/plagiarize this story**

——

{As she talked to her friend,/ that smile of hers looked so sweet,/ Her form was like the heroine of a comic I drew in my head/ It was love at first sight/ I truly, truly came to like her/ But with the way I look,/ She would definitely hate me.}

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