oh my god he is so on point all the time

anonymous asked:

RFA + V and Saeran react to overhearing MC's family scold her because they despise who she's dating? Maybe they think they aren't successful and responsible enough or not loyal or trustworthy or feel like MC deserves far better than what she's getting our of them? Specifically I'd like to see Saeyoung's reaction given his insecurities.

And we’re back! Did you guys miss some scenarios?

Hope you like this! ^^

RFA + Saeran and V finding MC’s family disapproval

Zen

  • “Sweetie, I just think he’s playing with you.”
  • He heard that coming from your father when you two were washing the dishes in the kitchen, Zen noticed you two forgot a plate and was bringing it to the kitchen.
  •  “And what makes you think that, dad?” “Well, he’s handsome, I bet he has tons of women running after him. Maybe famous women? What makes you think he won’t dump you for some famous actress? He’s a public figure, honey, his image is everything. Plus… he sounds shallow like that.”
  • Shallow? Zen could deal with being called narcissist, workaholic, but… shallow? He was sounding shallow to your father?
  • He wanted to walk into the kitchen, maybe subtly, maybe not. He wish he had some really witty and smart statement to give so your father would realize he wasn’t just image
  • And he was about to step into the kitchen when he finally heard your voice: “If he sounds shallow, maybe you didn’t pay attention enough to what he was saying, dad. Have you listened to his story? His problems with his family? The way he struggled when he started his career as an actor? Have you heard when he told you how much he loves me and how guilty he feels that we’re still not married? Come on, dad. Either you weren’t listening, or you don’t know what shallow means.”
  •  “But, honey…” “His family is broken enough, dad. Let’s not break ours too just because you’re seeing Zen as just another actor, not as the man I chose to share my life with.”
  • Zen could almost cry right there. How did he manage to find someone who can see so deep inside him? Yeah, he definitely likes being known for his looks, but the fact you see beyond them is really overwhelming.
  • When you two are saying goodbye to your father, he gives a firm handshake to the man.  “I hope we can spend more time together, sir.”
  • “I would like that a lot. I see you have a bike, what brand is it?” that goodbye turned into a long conversation about bikes, which was super boring to you, but seeing them bonding was worth it.

Yoosung

  • “I honestly thought it was a joke when you introduced him as your boyfriend, sis.”
  • He heard when you and your sister were in your bedroom trying to find something for you to wear, Yoosung accidentally spilled wine on you.
  • “Shut up.” “No, I’m serious! What are you thinking, MC? He seems like a teenage mama’s boy. Look at what he did to your shirt, he’s so clumsy and… nerve-wracking! You’ll have to play his mommy all the time!”
  • Well, it’s not like he haven’t thought about himself like that before, but listening when it comes from another person, that person being someone who grew up with you hurts a lot more.
  • His first instinct was head out of there without anybody noticing he’s gone. But… then your sister would be completely right.
  • “He just spilled wine on me because his spatial notion is still a little compromised due to his eye. Have I told you he hurt his eye trying to protect me, sis? And yeah, he’s still a little nervous because he doesn’t know my family too well, but your hostility definitely won’t help him calming down. If you’ weren’t such a bitch, maybe you would have noticed by now he’s an amazing smart man that makes me really happy.”
  • “You just called me a bitch because of that guy?” “I did, just so you know how serious I am about him, to the point I’m fighting with my favorite person in the world.”
  • Well, he’s glad he didn’t run and stayed to listen to this. You made him sound like a really cool reliable guy, the type of man he’s trying to be for you.
  • After you and your sister go back to the living room, she makes sure to sit next to you two. “So wait… you asked her to be your pre-girlfriend before you got together? Oh my God, that’s so adorable…”
  • Then you two kept squealing over that photo of his with the roses, and though he’s super embarrassed, he couldn’t help feeling a little smug when your sister said ”Huh, I wish my boyfriend were like this.”

Jaehee

  • “She seems a little cold, MC. Are you sure she really likes you?”
  • She heard when you and your brother were setting the table while she was talking to your parents in the living room, she decided she needed to help as well.
  • “Ugh, don’t even start, bro.” “I’m not saying this to be an ass! Come on, MC, she’s so formal! She’s almost like a granny, you’ll get bored if you stay with her! This if she doesn’t dump you first, she seems cold like that.”
  •  You warned her about your brother’s brutal honesty, but this still felt unexpectedly hurtful.
  • She was really trying to loosen up, and she honestly felt she was doing a good job, at least next to you and to your friends, maybe she wasn’t and people close to you were feeling she wasn’t real about your relationship?
  • “She’s been working her ass off on a very strict company basically since she graduated, she’s still learning to loosen up. You would have noticed this if you weren’t so desperate about finding something to complain about my girlfriend, as you typically do.”
  • “Jeez, MC, calm down! I’m just worried for you.” “I appreciate it, but you’re the one boring me right now, let’s end this before I stop feeling bored and end up getting angry.”
  • She can’t help feeling this warmth growing inside her. Knowing that you are willing to fight for her like this is amazing! Not only because she never had that before, but also because it’s you.
  • Your brother decides to talk a little more to her. “Whooooa, so you’re a judo blackbelt? That’s awesome! You gotta teach me some moves!”
  • Well, giving this guy an ippon after he pissed you off would satisfy her more than she cared to admit.


Jumin

  • “Are you sure this is a healthy relationship, honey?”
  •  Your mother asked you when you two were making dinner while he was setting the table, as you asked him, but he didn’t know where to find the forks.
  •  “What do you mean, ma?” “I mean, he seems so intimidating and, everything is happening so fast, you barely know each other and are already engaged, he seems very intense, for that matter.”
  • Well, he was indeed very intense, but… intimidating? He never wanted to come across as intimidating, not to you, not to the woman who raised you.
  • Was he intimidating you to the point you were feeling pressured to get married?
  •  “Mom, I know what you’re trying to say. He’s not like dad, okay? Yes, he is very intense, just because he never had the chance to express his feelings like all of us do.“
  • “Well, your father wasn’t good at expressing feelings either, then he expressed with actions…” “Ma, Jumin would never hurt me, emotionally or physically. I know you might be thinking I’m on a cycle, that I have daddy issues, but… just give him a chance, okay? Let him prove he is nothing like my father.”
  • He was really sad for you and your mother. Two amazing women were suffering due to a man’s behavior, this was awful in so many levels…
  • He walks into the kitchen, pretending he didn’t hear a thing. “Why don’t you just rest while MC and I cook, maam?”
  • “Oh wow, what a gentleman… nothing like her father.” He smiled genuinely, neither of the women were feeling intimidated by that smile.

Saeyoung

  • “Your mother and I think you deserve better.”
  • Your father says when you were helping him changing a light bulb, Saeyoung decided to help when he heard this.
  • “Why would you think that, dad?” “Sweetie, he’s a train wreck! He’s immature, irresponsible, you told me how rude he acted with you. How can you be sure he won’t start pushing you away again?”
  • Of course he knew how immature and irresponsible he was, but he never really thought about what if he started getting snappy to you again. He promised he wouldn’t, but… was he good at keeping promises? Ask his brother.
  •  If he had any good sense, he would walk away and pretend he didn’t listen to any of this. He was already immature and irresponsible, he didn’t need o be nosy as well.
  • “He just pushed me away because he was worried and pretty sure he would die at any moment back then, dad. He was scared, he’s been scared his whole life! Have I told you what kind of hell he and his brother grew up at?”
  • “Sweetie, it still doesn’t justify…” “It does to me. He is scared and willing to change for me, I know that because I trust him. Can’t you trust the man your daughter loves? Not even a little?”
  • Well, if you asked him anything with that tone, he would oblige without thinking… ugh, you’re so sweet, so lovely, so caring… he can never push you away again! Not right now his life is so great with you and his brother, but it isn’t perfect, since your parents don’t like him…
  • “I’ll be honest with you, son. I still don’t trust you, but my daughter does and she never failed her judgments, that, and only because of that, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.” You looked at him and smiled.
  • “Thank you, sir. I’ll prove it will be worth it.” Not so immature and irresponsible right now, is he?

Saeran

  • “MC, listen to me, this guy is trouble!”
  • He heard this through the baby monitor when you and your sister went to check on her son.
  • “Why are you saying this?” “MC, he is… creepy! Are you dating him to punish dad? Look at him, he looks like he’s on the edge of a mental breakdown! Are you sure you want to play his nurse forever?”
  • He wasn’t on the edge of a mental breakdown! At least not now… at least not since you came along, but there were a few says, though…
  • Your sister is so right! He’s so weird and creepy, he doesn’t deserve you at all! Why did he even think he could handle trying to be normal and do normal things with you?
  • “I’m not playing his nurse! I like to help him because I love him, and he had mental break downs in the past, you would have too if you were locked up and forced to drugs after growing up with an abusive mother. All he needs is support and a loving family, not this… judgment from you!”
  • “MC, calm down, I was just…” “I know you’re concerned, but focus your concern on helping me give him what he needs. If you have nothing else nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
  • Saeran didn’t hear any of this, he hid in the bathroom when you two left the bay’s bedroom and kept talking as you walked into the living room.
  • Then you two heard the baby crying through the baby monitor, but he quickly stopped, you two found it odd and went to check on him.
  • He was fine, Saeran was holding him. “Am… Am I doing this right?” Making yours and your sister’s heart explode from sweetness? Yep, he was doing this right.

V

  • “What are you even thinking dating this guy, MC?”
  • Your brother asked you when V went to the toilet, he got lost and tried to get back to ask your brother where was it, exactly.
  • “What do you mean?” “I mean, he’s an old blind man, MC! You’re wasting your youth with a guy like this, he won’t be able to keep it up with you!”
  • V already thought about it, yes, you were so young, did you really need to take such a responsibility by dating him?
  • And that coming from your brother, who sounded so worried… he hated being a burden and provoking this arguing between two family members…
  • “He’s just one year older than you, so chill. And what century are we in? Do you think just because he’s blind, he’s not able to have a normal life? Dude, we’re planning a trip to Italy for my birthday, I think that’s pretty normal, don’t you?”
  •  “MC, take I easy, I’m just…” “You’re concerned, but you don’t have to.  He’s pretty good by himself, and he’s independent, he doesn’t need me, yet he wants me, and I want him, so there’s nothing for you to worry about.”
  • He needed you, maybe not to do things for him, yes. But he needed you because he loved you, and he was so happy that you were so sure about him not being a burden.
  • You were saying goodbye, when your brother said: “I’m sorry, dude.”
  • “If you want to apologize, apologize for stressing her out. As for me, don’t worry, I’ll make sure to bring you a gift from Italy as a peace offer.”
Tantalizing: 03

Originally posted by jikookfantasy

Tantalizing: 01 02 03
Ship: Jungkook | Reader
Description: Back in high school, you were nothing more than a nerd Jungkook wanted to deflower, to get a good fuck from. When he sees you at the club, though, things have changed drastically, and his dominance starts to teeter on the edge.
Warning: Sub!Jungkook, Sex Toy, Masturbation, Handjob, Oral, Degrading Names, Film, Exhibitionism, Blindfold, Hair Pulling
Word Count: 7,243

Keep reading

21st century marauders
  • Remus makes the horrible, horrible mistake of showing James and Sirius how to use a computer
  • mistake 2: 
    • a) having a tumblr (he makes killer aesthetics; reblogs some good angst, High Class memes ™, bi pride)
    • b) leaving the goddamn tab for tumblr up on his computer
  • “Moony what’s tumblr?” “Nothing.” Remus closes the tab calmly but it’s too late – Remus used his Prefect voice (mistake three) and it’s marauders law to do the opposite of the Prefect voice
  • Sirius and James use the public library’s computers in a muggle town until they get banned forever
    • all unbeknownst to Remus until the first day back at Hogwarts
  • “15 points from Gryffindor, Mr. Black.” “Aw, Minnie, I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now”
  • and the memes begin.
  • someone tripping up the stairs? *points* “same”
  • peter falling asleep in class? *points* “me lmao”
  • text talk
    • “bt-dubs prongsie you’re my bff 5eva”
    • “lol pads tbh you’re the greatest for realz”
  • Slughorn (talking about Potions brilliance) compares Lily to Snivellus
    • “Lily, sweetie I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry that ugly ass bitch like this would even say that, oh my god“
  • legit bought and packed fedoras in their trunks
    • “M’Lily”
  • embracing dramatically on top of the Gryffindor table “no homo just BROMO”
    • they get two days of pointing to anyone sitting next to the same gender and declaring no homo until Remus hexes them into the next century 
    • Inner Remus is just as bad as meme trash tho and he bewitches one of his robes to say NO HOMO FULL BI in sparkingly rainbow colors on the back to wear on weekends
      • (Sirius dies. James: “rip in peace”)
  • Me to me
    • James: “I haven’t lost any points in days…I should sit like a good boy and pay attention to Professor Binns”
      • Sirius *pulls robe hood over head and slaps James*: “transfigure that quill into a frog and levitate it onto Snivellus’ head”
  • passes by a painting right as the person in it scowls *points* “tfw u see Snivellus”
  • Sirius holding two apples onto his chest “bon apple titties”
  • James scores a Quidditch goal “for HARAMBE”
  • “I came out to have…” needs to be said at least once a day by Sirius
    • Remus: “OH I’LL MAKE YOU FEEL ATTACKED”
    • Sirius:
    • Sirius: “I came out to have – omg wtf moony!!!”
  • James convinces his mom to knit them all jumpers that say MFL for christmas
    • “it’s FML, actually” “no, moony, it’s obvi marauders for life, duh. are those tears in your eyes?”
  • Looking at Moony on the first of every month, Sirius says:
    • “look who’s still single in October”
    • “still single in December”
    • “still febURARY!!!”
  • of course every time any one in hogwarts turns seventeen – “you are the dancing queen!! young and sweet!!”
  • peter tries his best but he only catches onto a meme after they’ve moved onto the next
    • mostly he points to people a) eating b) sleeping c) crying over hw stress and says “me”
    • he’s also proud to say he draws the pepe frog for them
  • when all 4 marauders are walking together sirius shoves people out of the way “make way for the SQUAD” 
    • “tbh we’re squad goals af”
  • “ilysm!!!”
    • james, under breath: “or should i say….Lily-sm”
  • anytime a teacher compliments remus or gives him points sirius HAS to say “SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK”
  • when he’s Prefect-ing or says a killer one-liner to someone, Remus conjures a teacup and takes a sip
    • James and Sirius appreciate it and go wild when it happens tho they personally prefer less subtlety
  • “DAMN Snivellus back at it again with that greasy ass hair!!”
  • “still aprill!!!”
  • in McGonagall’s office being reprimanded: James holds Sirius’ shoulder “don’t talk to me or my son ever again”
  •  McGonagall gives Remus 10 points for hexing Sirius’ mouth shut after he tried to say “I came out to have – ”
  • “still!!!! MAY!!”
  • the morning of June 1st Remus pecks Sirius on the lips on the way to the bathroom
  • they all work together to release fireworks in the Great Hall on the last day of school that form four frogs on a unicycle with “WE DEM BOIS” written under
    • it was Remus’ idea
  • a meme revolution has begun

(feel free to add more)

edit: changed Remus’ yes homo to full bi

Kalagang #07

1x08 We Will All Be Judged By The Courage Of Our Hearts

In this episode, we get to see more of Wolfgang’s back story – specifically his relationship with Felix, and with Wolfgang’s abusive father. It’s heartbreaking to see Wolfgang suffered so much in the past, but at the same time we see Kala’s feeling towards him gets deeper as he opens up about his pain.

Kala: I was always afraid as a child. I couldn’t sleep if the light was off or it was too quiet. I don’t like the quiet. I used to fall asleep in my father’s restaurant. I’ve always hated being alone. (1x07)

At the rooftop of Ganesha’s temple, Kala told Wolfgang she doesn’t like the quiet or being alone. But here, we see Kala who is at the movies with her family – she is not alone, and it’s obviously not quiet because of the laughter from the audience – being not fine at all. She is crying because of Wolfgang; she is crying for him. It just shows how much Wolfgang has consumed her; how much he means to her.

Original post [x] @stevenrogered

In Berlin, Wolfgang is at the hospital after Felix got shot from Steiner. He is in a very quiet place, and he’s all alone now – another cinematographic contrast between two characters. And it’s also great to see that Kala who doesn’t like the quiet and being alone visits the place that is quiet and ‘lonely’. Wolfgang doesn’t even cry because he can’t. He doesn’t know how. He has forgotten how to cry.

Again, with Kalagang you can turn any place into somewhere romantic…and bathroom is definitely becoming their thing.

Original post [x] @fyeahmaxriemelt

Wolfgang tries to suppress the pain and anger all to himself like he used to, thinking that he’s alone. Then Kala shows up. When he senses Kala and looks right at her, he’s really surprised – not just by Kala’s presence, but also by her tears. She is literally crying for him. Wolfgang didn’t ask anyone for anything, and yet she is sharing his pain and sorrow.

So he has all these mixed feelings going on in a split second – sad, angry, surprised, sort of relieved to see her, and then like he’s having another moment of falling in love with her. I mean, wouldn’t you fall for someone if that person shares your pain and even cries for you, when you thought you’re alone in this world? I would.

Wolfgang: [What happened to him?] It was my fault. I wanted to prove something. I wanted to change something that can’t be changed. [What?] The past.

Original post [x] @fyeahmaxriemelt

Just look at how hurt he is. It’s so heartbreaking. Wolfgang was about to give himself another chance to believe in miracles – start a new life. He was ready to fly over to India to see Kala. He was so desperate to put the past behind him. Then this happened; the world once again pulled Wolfgang back to where he was. When Wolfgang tells Kala that it’s his fault Felix was attacked, I think he secretly also wanted to tell her – he really wanted to meet her in person, and it hurts because now he can’t.

The way Max delivered this whole scene where he talks about Wolfgang’s childhood was so good. So on point. You can feel the depth of his pain even before we actually hear his story.

Kala: You’ve known him a long time. How did you meet? [Detention]

Original post [x] @stilesbanshee

Look! Kala’s hand is on Wolfgang’s back (or is it his arm? whatever)! Last episode Wolfie touched her, and now, she’s touching him. Our Kalagang is getting closer to one another! It’s hard to see from this GIF, but if you go watch full episode (video) you’ll see Kala’s fingers gently stroking Wolfgang’s back. AH FEELS.

Felix: Wolfgang? Nobody’s named Wolfgang. OK…Wolfie. What are you in for? [Fighting] Cool.

Original post [x] @fyeahmaxriemelt

From here, we get to see Wolfgang’s relationship with Felix.

Wolfgang: Where are you? [At the movies. With my family] Makes sense. [Why?] Felix loved the movies. We cut school to watch films all the time.

Original post [x] @fyeahwolfiekala

The only times when Wolfgang smile like that – not the usual kind of smirk he does to others, but real, genuine, happy one – are when he’s with Felix, Kala, probably his mother, and his cluster. Right now, it’s just Felix and Kala.

Conan: No one will remember if we were good men or bad. All that matters is that two stood against many. So grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen…then to hell with you!

This film is one of the things that made Wolfgang who he is today. It’s not just a film which he and his best friend enjoyed watching when they’re little, it sort of gave young Wolfgang a kind of guidance for his chaotic life. So it’s like Conan is Wolfgang’s Ganesha, I guess.

Wolfgang: I don’t know why he liked me. In those days, when we moved from East to West Berlin, I was the kid everyone hated.

Original post [x] @wolvesinwinter

Here, we get a glimpse of what would Wolfgang do when he is in serious trouble: he doesn’t ask for help. He tries to take care of the problem all by himself. He protects the ones he cares by not letting them into this mess. And he fights…he fights hard.

No wonder Wolfgang doesn’t ever ask his cluster for help.

Original post [x] @iseeuvillain

This is why Wolfgang thinks of Felix as his brother. Because Felix never leaves him – he is always there for Wolfgang, and he always comes back for him.

Wolfgang: [That was your childhood?] No.That was nothing…compared to my father.

When Kala is shocked by his rough childhood, Wolfgang lets out a sigh mixed with chuckle as if that whole story he’s just told her was nothing. As soon as he is about to talk about his father, Wolfgang’s face stiffens. You can see how much Wolfgang’s already disgusted just by thinking of his father.

Anton: Life is just five things – eating, drinking, shitting, fucking…and fighting for more. I didn’t say anything about crying. Crying is for bitches. Is that what you [Wolfgang] are? A little bitch?

What’s so heartbreaking about this scene is that – not to mention how abusive Anton was – as much as Wolfgang hates his father, ironically, everything about Anton including his ‘motto’ influenced Wolfgang. It was inevitable that his father made Wolfgang who he is.

Because of his father, Wolfgang couldn’t cry – which explains why he doesn’t cry up to this day…as well as why he’s been suppressing his emotions.

Kala: He would do anything for you.

Original post [x] @kalagang

The way Kala is looking at Wolfgang – I thought this might be the first time when Kala saw something good and beautiful hidden inside of him. At that moment, she felt this deep, unbreakable, and pure friendship between Wolfgang and Felix. She felt how much Wolfgang loves and cares about his brother.

Wolfgang: He’s my brother, and not by something as accidental as blood…by something much stronger. [By what?] By choice.

Original post [x] @dizzeikipling

This line sort of emphasizes that Wolfgang is, again, the guy who does not believe in things like miracles. Because he believes in choice. To Wolfgang, his family was not his choice. To him, miracle is also not a choice; it’s something that just happens. It’s beyond his control.

And this makes Kalagang’s relationship so interesting because…Wolfgang who believes in choices is connected to Kala – the connection that is not based on choices; while Kala who believes in miracles is hesitating over a choice that may change her life. Each of them believes in something that other doesn’t…and now, they’re being challenged by what other believes in. I’m kinda rambling, but see what I mean?

The more I rewatch Kalagang moments, the more I realize how their relationship is so fabulously complicated – they are complete opposites, but they accept each other. At the same time, they challenge each other…and eventually build up this beautiful and intense relationship based on their differences.

Manendra: You are going to call up my son and you are going to tell him that you cannot marry him. [What?] You know in your heart that’s the right thing to do. I could see it in your eyes. That’s why you stopped the wedding to keep yourself from committing this terrible mistake. […] But now, luck has given us another opportunity to correct it. All we require is the will…

OK, to be honest, when Manendra visited the temple and told Kala that she should call off the wedding with Rajan, I screamed with joy. I was like ‘YES! FINALLY! Now she can see Wolfgang without feeling guilty! They can be together!’

and then this happens…oh dear.

sam & season 12

I keep going on about how much I loved season 12 for Sam, and I was talking to @bluestar86 last night (Or, hyperactively talking AT :P) and they were saying how narratively neat it was to end with Sam at the beginning (facing down a 1x01 parallel scene) again just like Dean ended last season back at the beginning, getting Mary back. Anyway several of the conversations I’ve seen or had about Sam are about how some people feel this season really wasn’t very good for him and he didn’t have anything happen to him… I think I kind of veered onto that for a moment after 12x21 because there was a lot of negativity around especially after we were all excited that the “someone in the life” thing he’d been about in season 11 and Eileen seemed to clearly be a part of had obviously taken such a blow, and the BMoL thing was now also obviously a total failure for him.

I think 12x22 did a pretty good job wrapping that up for Sam, since Berens did all the legwork in the first place for setting Sam up with the BMoL and then answering how that made feel and giving Sam a clear win with it in The Raid pt.2 so I don’t think I need to talk about that too much and also it only represents a fraction of his character stuff, something that was just sort of happening to him this season and actively for only an even smaller part of it, while obviously there had to be a much more real deal to it all.

I don’t know if maybe it’s too obvious or the problem seems to be that people think that he didn’t engage with the story enough for it to seem like it was happening TO him despite what I felt was a clear thing all through the season, but the Sam and Mary stuff was absolutely brilliant this year to me, and I think 12x22 and 12x23 spelled out a lot of stuff about how Sam was interacting with his arc and how the show was telling it, giving me some really clear examples to use. As I was accidentally talking Bluestar’s ear off (oh god I’m scrolling back through this conversation to scavenge my points and I am so sorry about how much of this chat is me… :P) Sam’s always had his shit dealt with largely in an external way, with things often being quite allegorical while Dean has an internal approach (the season 1 queer subtext for Sam vs Dean’s where Sam’s powers are queercoded but Dean just *is* is my favourite example :P). The 22/23 use of putting Dean IN Mary’s head to talk through everything while she didn’t say a word and he stood on the spot and vocalised everything, and then putting Sam in a different reality to passively view and have AU!Bobby explain to him all the relevant exposition to why this was the mirror of the previous episode doing the same thing for Sam is a very very neat back to back image of how their stories get told.

So back to the start:

Obviously Dean and Mary are more emotionally connected anyway because Dean was alive longer at the same time as her previously; in 1x01 he’s defensive of her memory and Sam doesn’t know her so can say something objectively ridiculous like she’s never coming back and Dean can get all angry about him DARING to suggest that. So when Mary comes back, Sam takes 1 and ¾ episodes to find out while Dean starts a much more complicated emotional arc with her dealing with her sacred memory and other personal crap he’s accumulated with her.

SAM
Mom. For me… just, um… having you here… fills in the biggest blank.

Sam doesn’t have a history with her, but he does have a massive emotional investment, so in a way their story can only start when they start actually DOING stuff together. But 12x02 also lays out the problem, that Mary is going to want to run away and not face her past because she DOES have massive personal crap accumulated about Sam, because her presence brings back the original balance where the emotional story was with Dean and the mytharc crap was with Sam, but now it’s about her - she could have had this exact same arc in season 1 if she’d been alive, say taking Jess’s death as the point to leg it and not bear to face Sam, as she feels responsible.

DEAN
Mom, look, I am… thrilled that you’re back. I mean, I’m so damn happy, I-I-I can’t even stand it.
MARY
I just… it’s just gonna take me a second to catch up, you know?
DEAN
Yeah, no, no. Look, take – take all the time you need, all right? It’s – it is what it is.
MARY
And when we do find Sam… how am I gonna face him?
DEAN
What do you mean?
MARY
That yellow-eyed thing would never have come for him that night if I… I started all of this.

This all spells out nice and simply the entire sum of what’s going to be their problem this year and what they need to overcome at least in the sense of coming to peace with it. Sam just wants Mary around, Mary can’t be around Sam.

In 12x03 Mary begins the process of running away. Cutting her hair is symbolic of shedding her past image and is important and a step forward in mending with Dean and shedding saint!Mary and the dreaded nightgown image, but regressive in dealing with Sam, because they have such opposite demands on her emotionally. She needs to face the past with Sam, but to move forwards with Dean - which is also too much work for her because she’s being given the huge task of accepting messed up adult Dean because his need for her is so vast so of course it’s daunting (and I’m assuming there’s at least some postnatal depression kind of metaphor going on with all this ESPECIALLY with Sam - of course all mixed up in mytharc but 12x06 gives us that she would rather go hunting than stay and do childcare with Dean). Sam loses out harder because his need is so simple and Mary being flawed and hurting Dean is ultimately for the best - after 12x02 we wrote meta about his drinking alone scene as representing exactly this, and 12x22 and “I hate you” was the point he had to be brought to. But Sam makes no mytharc emotional progress with Mary if they’d spend the entire season joined at the hip catching up and doing generic mother - son activities, because it wasn’t addressing their problems.

12x03 also showed us Mary’s trauma she needed to address, visually, with the John, Dean and Sam parallels in the haunted house. Sam wasn’t even a real baby - he was the broken, burned hollow doll. He was an object of absolute, triggering horror for Mary after she was trapped in the nursery with the doll by the ghosts, a reminder of her death, and the state of the doll very suggestive of what happened to Sam because of her deal - and basically visually displays everything Dean eventually told her what happened to Sam in his speech in 12x22.

Moving on to actually looking at how Sam feels about the mytharc, 12x04 and 12x05 featured Magda and Ellie as blatant Sam mirrors. With Magda, Sam gets to look back at his powers arc and say stuff that indicates how he feels about it now, especially when it comes to self-blame and his feeling of being unclean caused by Mary’s deal. (In the long run, Ketch killing her was for our shock value, Sam never learned on screen, and it wasn’t a part of his arc that she died, just something for us :P yay) With Ellie, he has an almost identical conversation about her horror about discovering her family history and that the blood running in her veins has this connection and that she was a fated vessel, if technically only because she was geographically nearby. Both of these mirrors make the episodes for Sam’s part focussed on how he feels about himself and what Mary’s deal did to him, and show he’s actually already, through all his previous trials and tribulations, made some peace with himself.

I mean… “trials” is deliberate word choice, since 8x21 he got to address how he felt unclean, then did the trials and I think even if he didn’t finish them again once he’s had time to process he’s already in a better place than before about it before season 12. I also feel season 5 resolved his original character arc and his actions in Swan Song completely redeemed him and eased his conscience and he literally was a blank slate after that, and also has a demonstrable sense of peace all through Gamble era - even in the middle of season 7 Bobby calls him out about it but ends up agreeing he’s just somehow ended up really zen :P… The problem here is that because Mary coming back was not really on the books back in season 5 Sam’s arc got resolved on a LOT of major points relating to the mytharc and he was really only left with Lucifer and Hell trauma which all dates from AFTER this resolution though as a direct result of it. So these two episodes explain how he’s feeling and that it actually isn’t something Mary should be afraid of because Sam’s in a good place with his past and so on, as he eventually manages to tell her in 12x22.

12x06 has their shared moment of trauma/horrible flashbacks when the 1x01 parallel happens where Sam and Mary get to relive it all with Bucky being tied to the ceiling and dripping blood (On Asa’s face, a sort of child figure to Mary as well) as the warning he’s there. The demon’s MO on killing like that was blatantly only so that we’d get them having this moment.

12x12 is where it really kicks off again, and after a lull on this while they dealed with other branches of the story, including the start of the nephilim arc, which with the Lucifer connection was already at least tenuously like Sam just for shared backstory - there was some speculation that the nephilim would be a good vessel for Lucifer and he only wanted it for that, which would have made Jack a direct Sam parallel… We didn’t see that although it was obvious Lucifer only wanted to use him to take over the universe and having a loyal son to do it is much easier than relying on his supposed perfect destined vessel, who was a bit harder to control than Lucifer had reckoned on :P Lesson learned since 5x22. Point is it was a sped up version of the process of milennia of figuring out how to get a Perfect Fated Vessel to empower Lucifer for the big take over.

Anyway 

I screamed and knocked my table with my knee so hard I still have a dent in it when Ramiel flashed yellow eyes at Mary along with the old season 1 remember-when-demons-were-scary sound effect. I’m honestly still kind of stunned and impressed that they brought back literal yellow eyed demons to act as a visual aid here. It forced a moment for Mary to tell Sam what she saw and for it to immediately become a Mary and Sam moment sharing this very specific trauma of what a YED meant to them, with Sam asking Mary what she’d gotten them into as if she even knew. Bringing in these princes of hell was again just a sort of visual thing to put on screen to put season 1 and Azazel’s original work with Sam back on the table, again making it clear the mytharc is connected to Sam. Dagon does for Jack what Azazel did for Sam, and even though Dean killed Azazel before his plans could come true he died convinced Sam was ready and going to be everything he was supposed to, leaving a thought for Dean for season 3 that Sam hadn’t been brought back right that segued into him going genuiely dark even if nothing was actually wrong with him like Azazel insinuated; I’m pretty sure Dagon died thinking that this changed nothing too, because Kelly saying Jack was good because he saved her just made Dagon laugh.

Dagon’s time on the show carries this part for Sam even though he had almost no interaction with her, just by visual association of yellow eyes and what she’s doing. 12x17 parallels her directly to Azazel in the staging of the action to 1x21, for example, and she already has her special child in hand unlike Azazel who was having a lot of fun with an ant farm with the entire special children project. (This also escalates into the main problem after the midseason in general making the second half of the show about a mytharc connected to Sam metaphorically in the same way Amara was connected to Dean metaphorically - I suppose 12x08 would be the 9x11 step of all that. Cas was already connected to the nephilim arc in 12x08 when he was the one who broke the news to them, 12x10 making it very clear he felt it was his problem. 12x19 MAKES it his problem. And in general now we know for sure it was used as the end of season episode thing that escalated everything into season 13 and was the final shot of the season.)

So I think when it comes to Sam stuff that gets us back to 12x22 & 23 - with Dean making clear Mary’s deal was the biggest hurt in his speech to her and listing what it did to him with her death and to Sam with the mytharc smacking him in the face because of it. When Mary is back, she repeats the thought from 12x02 that she’s scared of Sam, and Sam appears out of the woodwork to hug her and reassure her with the same message but this time it’s post-communication so they actually all have a real understanding, and don’t have this catastrophic void. Mary’s still fucked up but at least she isn’t ready to flee from Sam in horror, and I think it was that far more than anything about dealing with Dean that made her run in the start of the season, because she could have worked things out awkwardly with him because she had no underlying fear of him in the same way.

And then to 12x23 where the AU is caused by Mary NOT making the deal, and I think it’s important to bear in mind everything about Sam and this so far this season because it’s all been dredged back up again, but in 12x22 he got to make a peace with Mary that they could actually deal with this. It’s not a manipulative, wow the world would suck worse if it DIDN’T happen, be thankful it did. It’s something Sam can see, sure, but we benefit the most in a meta way to know that the message of the show is that Mary’s deal is now all good, at least for how Sam can feel about it. The fact he sees the world as better because of it, and that he’s at peace with what it did to him, is written into the fact this world is showing US that things would be so much more worse without it, and I guess this is the representation of how he feels shown to us in an actual example of a tangible world that expresses this feeling.

And of course as I said the season ends with Sam running off to investigate what happened with Jack, and being the one to follow his scorched footprints into the room with the crib that such a big fuss was made of earlier like he would get a chance to USE it but now is acting like set dressing:

Again one episode after Sam was represented as a crib all through a long speech (because babies suck at acting :P)

and a reminder that everything for him began with that moment in 1x01. Even though the thought Mary was in was more like 5x16’s memory than 1x01, Sam was brought down from the nursery and his crib was there, and the way Dean woke up in the chair directly paralleled 1x01’s opening with John waking up there. So the two blurred, and the conversation happening over the crib was about Mary’s deal which resulted in Azazel standing over the crib. In the show’s language, nurseries are Sam. And he ends the season in one, looking at a yellow-eyed thing that that crib technically belonged to even if he’s massively over sized for it (lol, even Sam wasn’t that tall a baby)… And whatever happens to Jack, now reflects on Sam, and his original feelings and choices about the demon blood arc and being Lucifer’s vessel. If Jack is pure evil he’s just a dark mirror for Sam to work through some shit. It’s more likely he’ll at least start neutral or as a uncomfortably powerful and volatile blank slate, but like how Mary isn’t exactly fixed, Sam now has a stage set to work through his own stuff that he might not have wanted to touch to blame Mary in the same way Dean had to get to an “I hate you” stage.

(And I wonder about Mary in this because one thing that wasn’t revisited except a brief mention she didn’t remember, was 1x09 and Mary apologising to Sam there as a ghost, right as things were kicking off with his psychic crap. I think also once he knew all the truth later in season 4 & 5, he could also feel that Mary had already apologised and so again he’s in a different place from Mary where he’s ahead of her since she doesn’t remember… I still feel like season 13 will probably be tackling Sam and Mary more directly than this year where it was more Dean and Mary, and Jack for good bad or neutral will offer a way to put a LOT of stuff on screen that we can see through him as Amara was to Dean a representation of his issues made manifest… He doesn’t even have to have a ton of contact with Sam although I am perversely hoping he duckling-imprints on Sam since he was the one who walked in on him freshly born :P But ech, speculation. Who knows how this will go, I can’t really do more than wonder about the longer character arcs and what I’d find funniest to do in the first minute of the next episode :P)

Anyway, this is all for me why season 12 was an incredible Sam season, and I’d been yelling loudly about each and every one of these developments as they happened. Long story short, I’m now an enthusiastic Sam girl because of Dabb and Berens’s combined efforts, and I genuinely feel like this season did him a great service in the story.

Alana Finds Out: Discipline

In honour of #ladiesofhannibal week (and also of my one-year anniversary on tumblr a couple of weeks ago) I thought I would post some of the chapters from my long-running Alana Finds Out series that I’ve never put on tumblr before. The overarching theme is Alana figuring out she’d be much better off if she just washed that Hannigram right out of her hair, so it seems appropriate xD.

Also on AO3.


Alana hummed softly as she exited her car and climbed the stairs to Hannibal’s office. It was going to be a good night: she was having dinner with Hannibal at her favourite restaurant; she had managed to extricate herself from work forty-five minutes early; and that meant there was time for a quickie in Hannibal’s office before they went out. Assuming he would go for that – he might want to preserve the sanctity of his office, he could be irritatingly proper about such things.

She shrugged as she passed through the waiting room. It’ll be a great night, anyway. You just might have to exercise a little patience there, Bloom. Not easy, when your boyfriend looks like a damn Viking but she could keep it together. She was a grown woman.

Which did not stop her squeaking like a little girl at the sight that greeted her when she opened the door to Hannibal’s office. Her boyfriend – her buttoned-up, mannerly, very refined boyfriend – was on his knees on his office floor, completely naked and very erect. Completely naked, save for a pair of silver nipple clamps and what appeared to be a leather dog collar round his neck. Completely naked and currently giving a blow job to an equally naked and clearly blissed out Will Graham, who held a riding crop in one hand and Hannibal’s hair in the other.

This was going to take a minute to process.

A minute, incidentally, in which Will had what was clearly an earth-shattering orgasm, moaning Hannibal’s name as he finished. Hannibal who, Alana noted, swallowed with every sign of enjoyment and then gazed up at Will with an adoring expression Alana had never been privilege to.

“Fuck, that was amazing,” Will sighed, leaning down for a kiss.

At this point, Alana felt it was time to interject.

“Ahem.”

The two men froze, lips still pressed together. They stayed like that for a moment, then jumped apart, guilty expressions forming.

“Alana, you’re early,” Hannibal began weakly.

She held up a hand to silence him. “No speaking. No speaking from either of you just yet.” She placed a hand over her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Then she turned to Will. “I thought you hated him.” He had the grace not to attempt an explanation.

Alana looked back to Hannibal, still on his knees and oh, just fuck him still hard. “He accused you of being a serial killer. He tried to have you killed.”

Hannibal looked at her, an odd mix of tenderness and – she couldn’t believe this – pity on his face and said, meekly, “Love makes fools of us all.”

“Love?” spat Alana.

“Love?” asked Will.

“Yes, Will,” Hannibal regained his adoring expression. “Love.”

“Me too.” Will reached out a hand to him.

“Oh, good grief,” Alana exploded. They turned, clearly having forgotten her existence. “Ok, look, I’m very likely never going to speak to either of you ever again, so just to assuage my conscience, this is consensual?”

They nodded. “Very,” Hannibal added.

Alana groaned. “Just yes or no answers, please. Will, are you going to try to kill him again, including via proxy?”

“No.” Hannibal looked like Will had just hung the moon for him.

Alana sighed. “Ok, and the last entry in this round of Things You Should Never Have to Ask Your Cheating Scumbag of a Boyfriend, do you have a safeword?”

They giggled – actually sodding giggled like a pair of fourteen-year-old girls – and Hannibal squeaked out, “Chilton.”

“Seriously.”

Will pulled himself together enough to shrug and explain, “Guaranteed to kill the mood.” Then they were off again, clutching each other for support.

“Oh god.” Alana rolled her eyes and fled. Definitely better off out of that Bloom. Those two idiots deserve each other.

Space Cowboys and Walkmans (StarkQuill)

“So look, if you push this button here, it locks your screen so you dont accidentally hit anything while you’re out doing… whatever it is you do.”

“While I’m out guarding the galaxy.”

Tony’s lips twitched into a smile. “Sure, Star Lord. While you are out guarding the galaxy.”

“Do I detect some jealousy?”

“Definitely.” Tony shook his head with a little smile. “Space terrifies me. Want to be a spaceman, stuck on earth being a cowboy.

“Cowboys are cool.” Peter shrugged. “Besides, no need to worry about space when I’ll keep you warm and safe.” Peter winked at him and Tony looked away, flushing a little.

“Anyway, this little button here will keep your song playing steadily no matter what you’re doing.”

“You know, my Walkman did that too? No fancy technology required.” Peter argued, then he looked sad. “Miss my Walkman.”

Tony stared at him for a full minute. “So you aren’t grateful for this insanely expensive Stark Phone that I personally loaded over a thousand songs that I thought you would enjoy onto it? Is that what I’m hearing right now?”

“No.” Peter tried not to laugh at the horribly offended look on Tony’s face. “No. I appreciate it. It’s amazing.”

“But you miss your piece of shit Walkman.”

“Nostalgia man!” Peter argued. “Aren’t you nostalgic about anything?”

“Suck it, Space man.” Tony huffed and gathered up everything he’d brought to show off and turned and stomped out of the room.

“Nice goin.” Rocket snarked, baring his pointy teeth in a little smile. “Richest, most powerful guy on earth and you insult him when he gives you a present. Smart, StarTwat. Smart.”

“It is not Peter’s fault he is so foolishly attached to items from his childhood that he pushes away all attempts from the Iron Man to give him new things.” Drax interjected. “Just because it is stupid does not mean he doesn’t have the right to be nostalgic.”

“Um, thanks.” Peter sent Drax a look, knowing the guy was just trying to be comforting in that awkward, over literal, blunt way of his.

“I think you should stop flirting with him, and just get our gear fixed so we can leave.” Gamora said shortly, barely looking up from her book.

“I am Groot?”

“Tell me about it.” Rocket narrowed his eyes at the green woman. “Don’t be a hypocrite, Gamora. We all saw you flirting with that scary redhead. Don’t be mad at Peter for chasing some tail.”

“I am Groot.”

“No. No that’s not what chasing tail– I don’t mean Peter literally has a tail to chase.”

“I am–”

“That’s enough.” Peter sighed and ran his hands through his hair miserably. “I hope Stark isn’t too upset. We were having a good time.”

“And you think he is attractive and want to see him naked.” Drax pointed out.

“Thanks buddy.”

“As long as he keeps fixing our gear, I don’t care what you and he do. Just don’t do it here.”

“Thanks for that Gamora. You know, there are two types of people in this world. People who–”

The woman got up and walked out of the room and Peter stared after her.

“That was rude. Wasn’t that rude?”

“I am Groot.”

“Yeah, I’m tired of hearing him bitch too. Let’s go twig.” The rest of the team filed out, leaving Peter alone on the couch, kicking himself for driving the brilliant hottie known as Tony Stark away.

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the progression (and regression) of first names

hurt/comfort, mini casefile, msr ust

first in a series of fics accompanying my x files rewatch this summer. (technically this is cheating since i’m already on season 2, but whatever, i wanted to do this.) spoilers for beyond the sea, lazarus, young at heart, darkness falls, and tooms. some of these sequences are partially borrowed from chapters 4 and 5 of half-light, but i liked them so i kept them. (it is not necessary to read half-light to understand this fic.) also dedicated to my recent trip to dc; you haven’t lived til you’ve hobbled around museums and memorials on aching feet from walking too much.

warning for passing mentions of murders/death

Scully spends New Year’s Eve in a hospital room: “Because my life isn’t depressing enough,” she laments to Melissa on the phone, and Missy tries to laugh like it’s funny but it’s not. They are in mourning; their father is dead, their mother is all to pieces, and Charlie didn’t come to the funeral. Bill and Melissa are staying with their mother in Baltimore. They wanted Dana to come too, but Dana has never been one to show emotions around other people. “I need to work,” she’d told Mulder, and it was the truth. The sad thing is that Mulder getting shot has given her the perfect excuse to hide, here in North Carolina where she thought everything would matter less. 

(It doesn’t. Boggs yanked her out of hiding by her ankle, wouldn’t let her rest. She doesn’t go to Boggs’ execution because she’s afraid to believe. She’s afraid of what he’ll tell her. She hides in Mulder’s hospital room because it’s easier, but he won’t let her hide, either. He calls her Dana and touches her shoulder and she shrinks into herself like a crumpled piece of paper. He knows her too well; she is the pathologist, but he would be just as good with a scalpel. He has a way of bringing hidden things to the surface.)

There’s a pathetic TV in Mulder’s room and they watch the ball drop in Times Square on it. Mulder’s on pain medications, which make him goofier; he counts along with the spectators in Times Square with a glazed-over look in his eyes. Scully watches in silence, hands knotting in her lap. She’s had plenty of good New Year’s Eve memories to stock up over the year - she spent the last one with Ethan, tipsy from champagne and giggling hysterically when he kissed her, teeth bumping together - but the only one she can think of now is the first year she was allowed to stay up til midnight, at nine. (She and Missy had snuck out on the back porch minutes away from midnight and sat on the step, watching the stars. She’d tipped her head up to the sky, mittened hands pressing into her knees when she felt the pressure of her father’s hand on her head and turned to look at him. “It’s a new year now, Starbuck,” he’d told her seriously. “It’s your chance to start over, to make your life whatever you want it to be.”) Scully blinks hard to stop the onslaught of tears and reaches for the tissues she’d crumpled in her pocket. 

“Hey, Scully,” Mulder says, touching her wrist. “Scully. Are you okay? Are you sad again?”

He’s high as a kite, Scully thinks wryly. “I’m fine,” she says, scraping her fingertips under her eyes. Maybe she should take some time off with Mulder after this case, give herself some time to recover so she won’t be crying all over the place every case. “I just… memories. You know how it is.” And with his sister, he must know. 

Mulder rests his head against her shoulder. “It’s 1994,” he slurs into her jacket. “Anything can happen now, Scully; make a wish.”

“I’m pretty sure you’ve got the wrong holiday,” she tells him. 

He points to the TV where a couple is kissing, confetti falling down on them like rain. “We should do that,” he says, raising his head to look at her. “In honor of the New Year.” 

For a half-second, she considers it. He’s been more affectionate with her over time; something shifted with them, in Alaska. Something had made them stronger. He’s called her Dana three times now. He tried to comfort her. She remembers him kissing that ex-girlfriend, Phoebe. She’s wondered how he kisses before. 

Then she reconsiders. Considers the consequences. She’s broken enough Bureau policy this year, she thinks. She is grieving, not in her right mind, and he’s on pain meds, he might not remember a thing tomorrow. She rolls her eyes and says, “Go find a nurse, Mulder.”

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YOI Fic Rec ROUND TWO

Hi friends. I put out a fic rec list a while back, and since then I’ve read a lot more, cried a lot more, laughed a lot more. So here’s another fic rec list for YOI! Most of these are different authors, in an attempt to spread the love. 

As before, it goes fewer bookmarks -> more bookmarks, in a very blatant attempt to give exposure.

THE SECOND LIST:

Resting pulse by cafecliche: I’m crying all the time, when I read this fic. It’s amusing and witty, while capturing the Victuuri characterizations perfectly, and also THERE IS PINING. This author’s other fic also address anxiety beautifully, so go forth. Go read all of the cafecliche. Do it for your wellbeing.

Kiss, You’re On Camera by Ashida: THIS IS SO SWEET. They’re at a baseball game, and Yuuri’s neighboring seat gets taken by an attractive stranger. God, it’s cute. Please check it out.

Stay the Night by Shadow_sensei: Your heart won’t be ready for the twist at the end of this. You could never be ready. This story is haunting and I mean that pun in all the best ways—it’s also got a beautiful dreamlike, fairytale (more like scary story) feel to most of it.

Shall We Skate (Through Time) by counterheist: counterheist has written MANY quality fics (also see BREAKING NEWS: Local Man Would Like to Date Other Local Man), most of which have me laughing. God, counterheist is great. This time travel AU also INVOLVES PHICHIT, my man, deals with consequences and, finally, provides great plot.

Yuri Plisetsky Saves the (Figure Skating) World by Dawn on ICE (Dawn_Blossom): Yuri Plisetsky’s interpretation of Viktor running off to “coach” Yuuri. It’s so canon compliant it HURTS—like hurts your stomach, because you’ll be laughing. Also the author is a darling.

A Heart of Paper Cranes by missmichellebelle: Besides being a fantastic human being, this author handles fluff, first time meetings, and anything your heart could desire with aplomb. I love this fic to pieces, and I love the sweet honesty of the Victuuri in it. *swoons*

Meet me halfway (in the future) by MissSpock:  I LOVE THIS FIC?? I love MissSpock, who I discovered and promptly blazed through all the fic of. This excellent time travel fic explores jealousy in a ironic but honest way.

Nuclear Hearts Club by butterbeerbitch:  The best of mutual pining and high school. I think I recc’d butterbeerbitch on my last list too, but I need you to listen to me. This fic has beautiful musings on childhood, which are giving me nostalgia in ways nothing else I’ve read has, and it is heartbreakingly gorgeous. This is poetry, it is prose, I cannot believe this is a real human being writing this. While they have stunning imagery, they also aren’t scared to make gross, hilarious comparisons. Please read this. Do it for me.

Like a design by jinlian: Canon-verse, and very sweet and humorous.

Life Unwoven by rougeandtonic:  TIME TRAVEL AU. WHERE YUURI TIME TRAVELS… BOTH WAYS. You get double the Victuuri, all of the pining, all of the miscommunication being healed, and just… oh. I love this fic. I think about it constantly. I’ve totally already screamed a lot about rougeandtonic on my Tumblr, but I. Do Not. Care. Like, this author probably hates me at this point, but I can’t help it.  Please read their work: kokoro no kaze is another of my favorites.

Lullaby of Birdland by Orchids_and_Fictional_Cities: Yuuri is a figure skater and Viktor is a jazz pianist. It doesn’t hesitate to deal with heavy topics, and the author knows. Their. Jazz. I’m drooling over this fic as we speak. Listen. I don’t understand how this has only 142 bookmarks at 7 chapters. I DON’T UNDERSTAND.

Meet Me by the River by c0rnfl0wer: do you want Slavic mythology and traditions handled masterfully and presented along with high quality love and pining? Then read this fic! Also, check out c0rnfl0wer’s other works, I can’t imagine how much research and effort he puts into his writing.

The Way to a Man’s Heart is Through His Stomach by futuresoon: I can’t figure this mystery fic out for the life of me. IT DOESN’T MATTER. Do you like mythical creatures? Do you like mysterious and handsome men? Do you like food? Check this out. This quirky, supernatural fic leaves you curious, and ironically hungry for more. Might be on a hiatus, as a warning, but word on the street is that it’s not abandoned.

I see the universe in your eyes by fangirlandiknowit: Oh god. From Yuuri’s POV, and it’s so descriptive, so emotional. This was written a while back, but I just discovered it and it is quality.

(offer me) that Deathless Death by melonbug: VIKTOR IS DEATH in this beautiful and moving fic that’s wrapped up in mystery and prose, but which I want to continue reading forever. There’s some phenomenal life observations in here, too.

Shut up and let me hold you by shysweetthing: I’ll never be over shysweething’s writing. I KNOW I recc’d this author on the last list, but you have to understand that it has brilliant dialogue, clearly understands YOI and episodes 11 and 12, and presents what was absent/only hinted at from them in a way that simultaneously soothes and breaks your heart.

These Frozen Nights by viciously: GEEZ so Yuuri can see ghosts, and Viktor doesn’t know… This fic is just ethereal and shocking, but still domestic and the Victuuri is sweet.

Taking the long way home by thankyouforexisting: Vicchan doesn’t die (so you already know this is gonna be good) and Yuuri doesn’t get drunk, so this fic explores how things change. It’s just… lovely. The dialogue is hilarious and magnificent, the AU is a great idea, and I’m loving this slow build.  NO, THANK YOU for existing, thankyouforexisting.

cover story by fan_nerd: Every frickin time I think back to my pre-AO3 account days, I remember a great fic and have to search for it. Every time I do, IT IS BY FAN_NERD. I love fan_nerd. This is a roommates AU, and is top notch.

Just Like a Stranger With the Weeds in Your Heart by MooseFeels: This ABO fic is just. Just. I tend to obsess over rhythm in my writing, and this fic has rhythm in excess. It just slides smoothly into your head, and astounds you.

Prove Me Wrong by homsantoft (tofsla): I started reading this and thought, oh, another soulmate AU, it could be decent. BUT I WAS A FOOL. This is not any old soulmate fic—it is beautifully handled, and I am unworthy of this and the one other fic by this author for YOI. PLEASE READ IT.

America goals by magnetic wave: Phichit is probably my favorite YOI character that isn’t Viktor or Yuuri, and this fic captures him so well. It also is a fic where you can see a perfect Phichit and Yuuri dynamic, without having to rely on Victuuri at all. I am in love.

Singularity by springsoldier (ladydaredevil):  I think I also recc’d this author on the last list. Do you care? I don’t care. You have to see this. It’s a STAR WARS AU. It’s so understated, and glorious, and hilarious. The Yurio is excellent, and the storyline is handled realistically. Finally, a Star Wars fic that shows you how a good Jedi deals with love.

A Lesson in Wanting by awesometinyhumanbeing:  I AM FANNING MYSELF. I love this fic! I love the trope of being in love with someone you’re married to, but being unable to deal with it. Reading the lines here just make me want to cry, and by the time things are finally resolved you will be incredibly invested in their happy ending.

Butt Stuff by Plumpie:  Yuuri gets an invasive… butt procedure. And Viktor is his nurse. Every moment in this is amusing.

At Home by SuggestiveScribe: SuggestiveScribe is pretty prolific, or was back a few months ago, and all of their works are breathtaking. Please check them out. This one’s fluffy, domestic despite the travel, and fun.

Katsuki Yuuri: Ascended Fanboy by Defiant-Dreams (DefiantDreams):  I’M LAUGHING SO HARD. Yuuri is a commentator, Viktor is still a skater, and everyone is exposed to their mutual and very obvious crushes in this great comedy.

Blackbird by sixpences: If you read nothing else I’ve recced to you but you still read this fic, I will be happy. This extremely well thought-out and planned fic showcases Yuuri and Viktor as intelligence operatives during WWII and the Cold War, and is brilliant in its complex portrayal of the issues at the time. Also, they’re ridiculously cute together even in heartbreaking circumstances. There is homophobia in-universe, but the handling of it is sublime and it’s there for a reason. I JUST UM. DEEP BREATHS EVERYBODY. THIS FIC IS SO GOOD.

Aria: Stammi Vicino, Non Te Ne Andare by exile_wrath:  Okay so listen. I am a very sensitive kid. This fic made me have a LOT OF FEELINGS, and is sublime. I will say there is definitely some violence, but it’s handled as well as this author handles everything, and the story as a whole transports you to this whole other Beauty-And-The-Beast but darker world! It’s very imaginative.

Constellations (Things You Left Unsaid) by DasWarSchonKaputt: I love Yuuko, and anytime she shows up in this fic I scream. This fic is just hilarious and deals with Yuuri’s feelings of inadequacy quite well. A+ role reversal AU!

Take Hold by Lavender Prose: Have I ever mentioned that I’m a complete sucker for soulmate AUs? I am, and this one is stunning and thorough in its worldbuilding. Also, check out the author’s tumblr for short but effective drabbles.

Kings in Couture by slightlied: I think a lot of people have also heard of this one, but I don’t care. The first two chapters are excellent, and accompanying drabbles for this universe can be found on the author’s tumblr, and they are also engaging. Just visit the author’s tumblr—it’s a lot of quality content of all kinds, and she’s bursting with ideas.

Now When Arrows Don’t Penetrate, Cupid Grabs the Pistol by ken_ichijjouji (dommific): AHAHAHA this fic, it’s funny. Also, it stars Phichit and almost every possible couple in YOI, so you know it’s going to be an exciting ride!

Worthwhile by surveycorpsjean: People like to watch Viktor suffer, but it’s always from pining. This fic handles the concept that Viktor can have major insecurities and struggles too, showing through heart-rending metaphor. And of course, it shows that Viktor can still deal with these things while having and deserving a loving relationship. Ah, homophobia warning here, but it’s a fic dealing with a lot of real world issues.

Twenty-Five Hours by 0lizzybennet0: Listen here. This is my favorite identity reveal fic. Somehow this author takes a plane ride (normally a terrible experience for all) and makes it into a rollercoaster of good times and cuddles and wrenching revelations. I love this Viktor, and this Yuuri, and the pacing is just right, as well as the Viktor/Yurio dynamic.

Beside the Dancing Sea by lily_winterwood and MapleTreeway: probably a fic that everybody knows, but it’s so well planned and such a great take on selkies that I can’t help but recommend it. There’s actual poetry in here, folks, as well as great prose—dream scenes, sweet romantic getaways in bays, CUTE SEALS. And, for a time, a mystery! Just… read this fic, if you’ve somehow missed it.

Centripetal force by braveten: Braveten is pretty well known, so you’re probably like “kiaronna why are you showing us this, of course we all know this fic” but this is my FAVORITE OF HER FICS and it’s going to get recommended, dang it. If you somehow missed this adorable masterpiece and like college fic, check it out. One of the chapters also made me hide in a bathroom for a while to deal with my freakout about emotions.

Unfortunately, because of life, I haven’t had as much time to explore the tag… or much time in general. so if you’re one of the works I love but I missed you, I’m sorry! 

Hopefully you readers will share my enjoyment of these amazing works!

Flinthamilton Fic

Hi!

It’s my first fic for the fandom hooray. I was BLOWN AWAY by Black Sails, and I had to write something for these two. Enjoy!

James did not know it could feel this way.

The times he’s been with men in the past were quick, hot, dirty. In the farthest depths in the farthest back part of the ship in the dead of night, when no one was around or awake to think about what two people were doing in the dark.

The encounters were dry, painful, sporadic. A hand here, another there, rubbing this, poking that. Always fast, never slow. James and whoever he was with couldn’t bear look at each other. When they were done, they would stalk back to their barracks, and never say another word to each other the whole time they were deployed.

James thought that’s how it would always be, that that is what someone like him deserved. If it was immoral, he thought, what right did he have to have it feel good?

Then he met Thomas.

James felt the air shift after they shared their first laugh together, he felt the earth move when they kissed the first time. Supple lips against his, an anchoring, comforting hand at the nape of his neck, guiding him, teaching him, accepting him. Accepting James and everything he was, awaiting everything he would be. That night at the table, a low warmth seeped deep in his belly, rising in his body to his chest while he defended Thomas. It spread to his arms when he placed his hands on either side of Thomas’s torso when their lips deepened. This is as far as the warmth will go, James thought, and that would be enough for him.

But oh, oh, how wrong he was.

He realized how wrong he was when they were in Thomas’s room in London, gilded and pristine and quiet, dimly lit by two candles. Both men already free of their clothes, their hands smoothed their way across each other’s skin, Thomas’s impossibly soft under James’s hands. His hands, though they trembled slightly, ran over the other man’s body with a type of reverence James didn’t know he could express. His eyes fluttered closed when Thomas moved to sit behind him and run his hands across his back, he couldn’t help but groan when he felt lips dot along his shoulders and down his spine.

“You have the sky on your back,” Thomas whispered, breath curling over James’s skin as he spoke.

“What?” James whispered, voice ragged.

“Your freckles, they’re like stars. You have millions of them, all over you,” Thomas said, dotting kisses anywhere he could find.

James chuckled roughly, “I-I believe they’re from my skin being terribly pale, Thomas,” his ability for dry wit was stunted while Thomas left more open mouth kisses on his back.

“Nonsense, they are stars, and they are beautiful.” He kept moving kisses across his back and the back of his neck, moving to kiss the top of James’s arms while his hand stroked his forearm, making goosebumps rise along the skin.

“I want nothing more than to float away in them, and learn every constellation,” murmured Thomas, moving so his lips met James’s, moaning while it deepened. The red headed man let himself be pulled back among the plush sheets as Thomas moved so he was on top of him, legs on either side.

“You’re breathtaking,” whispered Thomas, trailing kisses down James’s chest, his hands dragging along the place his lips just were. James closed his eyes, and reveled in the this feeling, a delicate closeness he never knew was possible. Thomas moaned when he reached James’s hips, the strong muscle and bone moved under his teeth as he dragged them. He let his lips roam down James’s strong legs, grateful that the other man moved his legs so his lips could bless his inner thighs. James groaned and threw his head back.

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Yuri!!! On Stage Event Report!

So today (4/29/2017) I went to the Yuri on Ice Yuri on Stage event. To clarify though, I was not at the actual Tokyo event, rather a live viewing at a local movie theater. Which of course does alter the experience but it’s the next best thing. At first I thought the theater was only doing the afternoon session, but very last minute I ended up being able to attend both!

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iwasapruneratfaverolles  asked:

PLEASE TELL THE CHILDREN THE STORY OF MS. STUBELS

Grace fuck, why would you invoke her name like that???

Okay, fine, gather round children, buckle up because we’re going on a bumpy ride back to everyone’s collective least favorite place: 7th grade.

Some background: I went to a very small Catholic school. One class per grade (we were the largest with 19 kids), everyone knew each other whether they wanted to or not. Despite basically every teacher and faculty members insistence that we were The Best And Most Special Class In The School and that everyone loved having us, the longstanding 7th grade teacher Mrs. O’Hara decided to retire in the summer of 2008, meaning the school had to find us a new teacher for the upcoming year. This would be like, the first new teacher in the school in a while, and as she was getting the ‘best class’, it was viewed as a Big Deal. Somewhere in like July or August we got a letter announcing Mrs. Stubel, and it came with a list of books to pick for the summer reading, and that was basically all the information we had.

So…the first day of class. She seems nice enough. Very…ditsy, I guess? It was very easy for her to get herself off topic while talking. She constantly paced around the room, never staying in one spot for longer than a second, complaining she has restless leg syndrome. Which like, I’m sure she did, but she was in the middle of introducing herself and then went on a 20 minute tangent about restless leg syndrome without anyone prompting her. It was almost like you could see her scattered thoughts flying around her head.

So anyone, she eventually gives somewhat of an introduction- she had only taught in public schools before, and kept worrying she ‘didn’t know’ how to teach in a Catholic school despite the entire class insisting literally nothing was different, you just teach the curriculum, twice a week we have religion class with Sister Mary King, that’s literally it (she still talked over us in worry), she told us about her kids, she told us about her obsession with Emily Dickinson, stuff like that.

And then she hands us this worksheet.

She’s like, “Oh, these are just some basic questions for you to answer! Just so I can get to know you guys better!” like in lieu of an icebreaker game, which is fine, but…the questions. The questions were all “What is your most haunting fear?”, “What is your deepest regret?”, “Have you ever experienced the pain of loss?”, “What was your worst injury?”, “What was your worst nightmare?”, all questions like that, and then on the back she wanted us to draw a gravestone and write out what we wanted our epitaph to be.

We were twelve year olds, mind you.

Oh my God and one girl missed the first day because of her grandmother’s funeral, so when she came the next day and saw what the teacher was insisting she do for homework, she almost had a panic attack? And the lady still made her do it? Literally who wants to think about death anymore at a time like that omfg.

Okay, so then we get to the summer reading book reports, right? Now, she had given a list of maybe, 20 books that you could pick from, read it, and then present an oral report on it. You had to have notecards and you had to be able to answer questions from the class at the end. All in all, I’ve had worse projects.

So, on this list, she apparently put Madeleine L’Engle’s entire book series on the list…only she did not make it known that this was a series and not multiple stand alone books, so when reports started up it caused mass-panic of kids trying to put together plot points and make connections on what the hell they had read.

I was the only kid in the class who had chosen to read “A Wrinkle In Time”, and that has since lead to a series of events that…really actually scares me, I’m still incredibly freaked out, I’m not going to get into it right now because it’ll take away from the current story, but just know that I’m not above wondering if it only happened because I read the book for Stubel.

Anyway, so like, I got through the report okay. The class asking questions about it was fine, but the teacher kept asking questions that didn’t make sense, like, at all. My friend Angie has always had super neat handwriting and Mrs. Stubel got like, obsessed with her notecards and asked if she could borrow them for something. When we got our grades back a few weeks later, Angie had points taken off for not having notecards.

And then her teaching just…didn’t happen. She’d never stay on a topic, she’d always get herself distracted! We were not learning anything. And like, this wasn’t a class of advanced smart kids that loved to learn. By all accounts we should’ve been thrilled. But it got out of hand. It got to points where we had to start teaching lessons to ourselves, asking teacher from other grades for help, always coming home in tears, complaining constantly to our parents and the principal because this woman wasn’t teaching us anything. There were two kids who asked her multiple times for extra help, and she told them each time to ‘talk to me after school’, but then she’d leave immediately after school so they wouldn’t be able to talk to her. They finally brought up the issue in the middle of class and she had a breakdown, yelling about how nobody ever thinks that maybe the teacher has a lot of work to do, and maybe she’s entitled to taking off early, but when we tried to argue she shouldn’t schedule meetings and then break them off in the name of relaxation, she stormed out of the room and tried to get the principal to give us detention. (Which, like, our school didn’t even do, and she was the only one in the wrong during this situation) We are still in September at this point, and already at least ten kids have parents considering transferring them to another school. (And remember, there was only 19 of us, and most of the class had been together since preschool, so that was a big deal).

Then, she starts coming in with all the weird bruises. All the Moms™ immediately started gossiping that her husband had to be beating her, and that’s why she was so screwy in the head. But the way she talked about her husband made it seem like he *might* be dead, and we actually did witness her fall and smack her head into a doorknob once, so no one really knew what to believe. (Also, I’m not trying to imply that abuse would make someone crazy or ‘damaged’ or anything, this is just what was being said. I think they were trying to turn her into a more sympathetic character, because if you feel sorry for her you don’t have to hate her for frustrating your kids so much, and Hate Is A Bad Emotion.)

Also…this woman and Emily Dickinson.

She talked about Emily Dickinson every chance she could get. None of us knew who Emily Dickinson really was before she got there and you could see in her mind it was a capitol offense. She found out the curriculum didn’t have room to cover her (because like, we had a text book), and was way too upset about it. She started reading her poems whenever she found the time (usually somewhere in history class), and always gave us very detailed accounts about her dressing up as Emily and reading her poetry at the library.

Now, two things to note here:

  1. The library did not hire her to do this. She would literally just get in the mood, put on an Emily Dickinson costume that she made by herself, drive to different libraries, and just read poetry out loud to everyone there until someone eventually asked her to leave.
  2. The way she described these events…her tone, the look on her face, her posture…you could just tell that she was getting some sort of sexual gratification out of this? Like dressing up as Emily Dickinson in public and reading her sad poems is really what got this lady’s jollies rocking? Got her all hot and bothered? Which is…a lot, but why would you tell a bunch of seventh graders about it holy shit. What about that sounds like a good idea! What about that turns you back on!

So anyway, we learned a lot about Emily Dickinson against our will.

One of the Davids™ was reading a book for pleasure- which shouldn’t have been a shocker, a lot of kids always had books on them, but Stubel got really interested and asked if she could borrow it from him. He was like ‘sure, after I finish it?’ but she took it that day. He asked her for it back for like five weeks straight.

And…the strudels.

Okay, so the school was trying some dorky thing to promote ~togetherness~ or some virtue or something, I don’t remember the specifics of why, but each class had to make a huge themed poster and hang it on the wall outside the classroom. Which was like, whatever, not the most thrilling project but at least it allowed us to be productive vs just sitting there as the teacher runs about the room rambling about her family vacation from four years ago. Mrs. Stubel decided we needed a quirky nickname and after like three days of deliberation we were christened “Stubel’s Special Strudels”!

(points for alliteration or whatever, but no one actually voted for that and what exactly do strudels have to do with Catholicism? It became a big running joke amongst the kids)

Also, in case you were wondering, she didn’t explain the assignment correctly to us- so every other class had like these beautiful, artistic, well-themed and put together posters, while ours was just…literally a bunch of shit thrown together on paper. Nothing fit with each other, it was literally embarrassing to look at.

But then…she wouldn’t drop the strudel thing. Like she kept bringing it up. She got really into strudels and would just tell us random shit about them. Finally, someone jokes that we should get strudels one day for a party (like instead of a pizza party), and she’s Freaking Out and On Board. She really wants to buy us strudels and have a breakfast party now. She talked about it for like two days straight.

So like… you know in school when you would have a pizza party, usually the teacher would buy it? That’s how they always happened in my experience (not counting the last day of 10th grade when some kid had pizza delivered to the school for lunch but it didn’t get there until math class lol). But especially in grade school? Like if it wasn’t a PTA made party that’s super organized, the school would buy the food, right? Right?

Yeah, so she was like, if this is happening you guys need to give me the money. Just give me the money and then I’ll pick them up on my way to work!! And after some arguing some kids are on board. Strudels should only cost a couple dollars right?

And she’s like, oh no, I’m gonna get them from this high end bakery near my house so it’ll be special, but they’re not cheap and it’ll be a big order! I’m gonna need like fifteen dollars from each of you!

And at this point I’m just like…lady. Come on. 

But she keeps insisting. She’s not gonna go until every student in class pays up.

And I’m like…I’m poor. I don’t even like strudel.  And some of the less-naïve kids are siding with me.

And then she pulls that “you guys are just spoiling all the fun for your classmates” shit, like the naïve kids who already paid up, so it gets to the point where we just gotta cave and give her the money.

(I ended up stealing it out of my Crazy Bitch Aunt’s wallet so it’s whatever, I guess.)

And then of course, shockingly enough, every morning she was met with “where are the strudels?” and every morning she went wide eyed, slapped her forehead and yelled in embarrassed horror “I totally forgot! Tomorrow, guys, I promise!”

Honestly, with how scatterbrained and confused she always was…like to this day I can’t tell you with 100% certainty whether she hustled us or was just actually forgetting about the damn pastries, I choose to lean towards the hustled us side because that’s just the type of people I’m used to, but if I found out it was innocent forgetfulness I wouldn’t exactly be surprised.

She couldn’t handle more than one person talking at a time. Like, we’d have break periods, or group work, or something and all the talking made her go wide-eyed and batty. She’d look overworked and anxious and would be darting around the room trying to do work or something but she couldn’t focus and she’d yell at anyone who tried to talk to her directly. I remember one time she was using this boys desk for something so he asked “where am I supposed to sit?” and she snapped “Sit on the ceiling for all I care!”. And this kid was the Class Clown™ , so he immediately grabbed a chair in one hand and started climbing the bookcase to try and reach the ceiling. She’s standing right next to this and doesn’t even notice. He got all four chair legs planted on the ceiling and was trying to somehow maneuver his way into the chair (I really don’t know what the plan was exactly- he was really tall and it was a small building, so I think he probably had the idea that if he can get his body upside down and in the chair, and stretch out his arms like a hand-stand to hold onto bookcase, he could arguably sit on the ceiling.) but he slipped. Crashed into my desk and the two desks next to me, knocked over the book case, broke the chair in half and hit the desks with enough force to knock them down lower. It was hilarious. Everyone was loosing their shit cracking up (he was fine) and it still took Stubel like five minutes to notice his lying out across the desks right in front of her eyes. She was pissed but how did she miss any of it in the first place? She was barely being helpful in whatever it was she was trying to do.

This was the year the Phillies were going to the World Series, and all the grades were having a Phillies Rally in the cafeteria so a news crew was coming to the school and each class was supposed to come up with fun little cheers for them to broadcast. Multiple cheer ideas were presented to her and she vetoed all of them, someone even suggested just singing the damn eagles theme song with replaced words and calling it a day but she vetoed that too, she was very adamant that she could come up with a cheer all by herself and it’ll be the best one (whoever had the best cheer was winning like an ice cream day or something idk). And then like…literally five minutes before the rally she just hands us signs with the letters and was like ‘we’re just gonna spell out Phillies it will be cute won’t it my strudels???’. We were the weakest class there, predictably. I think we lost to the kindergarteners. There might still be a video online of me yelling “ i “ passionately at the top of my lungs. It was online bc our cheer was so bland the news crew cut it out of the broadcast.

I literally can’t say enough about how she never taught us anything. She’d be going on some tangent about how she doesn’t understand the science behind skiing, and I’d be like “Okay yes but please can you just tell me where Romania is on a map???” And she’d start fights whenever someone actually wanted to learn. It was so easy to get her angry but so hard for her to stay on topic. Kids started teaching the class themselves! Like seriously, she’d be rambling and one of us would just go up to the podium, open the teacher’s guide textbook and just start reading out loud and talking over her. By the time she noticed we’d be halfway through a lesson. And we understood it better than when she tried! You know something’s wrong when pre-teens are more qualified for a job than an adult who supposedly went to school for this.

We were in the church having run-throughs for our upcoming Confirmation and she almost set the church on fire…fifteen different times. In less than half an hour. How hard is it to hold a candle?

Okay, and here’s when stuff starts kicking up. It was October 28th, a Tuesday, and it was our last day of school that week because they were having parent-teacher conferences the rest of the week. So we were just hanging out, watching movies in class and reading (lord knows we weren’t learning), and Stubel calls me over to her desk.

So like, she had given everyone little bags with candy for Halloween, but I get up there and she hands me an extra one. And she’s like “Molly I know your birthday is tomorrow and I bought you a present but I left it on my coffee table this morning by accident! So just have the candy for now!”

And I’m like….”Ma’am I’m like, the sixth birthday this year. You didn’t give anyone else presents?”

And she goes “Oh, I know but this is a special secret surprise. I just know you’re gonna love it! Do you wanna stop by my house later this week to pick it up or should I just give it to you Monday after school?”

And like…In writing this sounds like a non-threatening exchange, and like, it was, but I felt so uncomfortable holy shit. I’m looking over my shoulder and shooting my friends SOS signals. Something about this felt so weird in my gut omfg. I told her thanks and I’d just see her Monday.

So we flash forward to Wednesday- my 13th birthday, the day the Phillies won the world series, and also the day my mother innocently strolled into the school for her meeting only to be met with screaming, the sound of heavy destruction, and the school secretary Mrs. Daily running at her in a panic, waving her arms and yelling “YOUR MEETING IS CANCELLED YOUR MEETING IS CANCELLED GET IN MY OFFICE NOW!”

So my poor mother, who thought she could handle this whole meeting in a few minutes and barely be an hour late for work, is now barricaded in the front office with the school secretary, as the noises from down the hall get louder and louder. The woman explains that they had gotten so many complaints about Mrs. Stubel that this morning, when she got to the school, the principal Sister Patricia called her in and said “Listen, we need you to be professional and still have the parent conferences, but we have to let you go. We just don’t think you fit in well here, and the kids need to come first and feel comfortable in their school.” and like, I’m paraphrasing because I wasn’t there, but we all know she was very polite and professional about it.

Mrs. Stubel, however…was not.

She flipped her chair and stormed out of the office, and locks herself in the seventh grade classroom. She started wrecking the shit out of that place, screaming obscenities and the top of her lungs, they had to call the cops on her! She was locked in there for almost an hour! And let me just give you a nice little list of everything she did in that classroom:

  • Smashed three windows.
  • Threw everything off her desk and carved swear words all over it.
  • Got cleaning fluid that she knew would damage the chalk boards, smeared it all over.
  • Cracked the chalk boards by repeatedly smashing chairs against them.
  • Wrote swear words all over the walls and on desks
  • Went into students desks, ripped up their books.
  • Stole my glasses. (which were in my desk bc I only used them in class at the time)
  • Threw some desks around.
  • Carved swear words into the boards. (there was so much carving I’m assuming she just had a knife on her person, which has to lead to the question, did she have a knife on her while she was in class with us?)
  • Physically ripped the hooks to hang backpacks on out of the wall.
  • Knocked the closet door off it’s hinges.
  • Ripped up all the books in the bookcases and threw their pages all around the room.
  • Wrote lewd phrases inside student’s desks.
  • Broke multiple chairs.
  • Used her podium as a battering ram against the wall that’s in front of where the backpacks go. (the wall won but Damage Was Inflicted)
  • Set a fire in the trash can.
  • When the principal and other teachers started trying to get in, she tossed her rolling chair at the door to scare them off.
  • She was screaming curse words at the top of her lungs the entire time, and cursing the school and the kids and the principal and the church in general, and the school building was small, so all the parents and the smaller children that had to come to the meetings (who were locked in their respective classrooms in fear) heard everything.
  • So much more? But it’s 4:30 in this morning and this list is already long.

So my mom is in the front office and deadass the

entire police force

shows up, running down the hallway to the classroom yelling at her to stop, and it takes a while for them to get her out holy shit. They knocked down the door and she tried to escape out of one of the broken windows! But they got her and dragged her out.

So of course, in such a small school with very involved parents this shit spread like wildfire. The entire town knew within the day. The poor principal called the newly retired old-seventh grade teacher and was like “So we…need some help” and the lady was like “I already heard I’ll be there Monday” omfg. I remember I got a text from one of my classmates saying “if your birthday wish was for us to be set free from the beast I love you” omfg.

So, we eventually go back to school on Monday and everyone’s buzzing. The principal has us go to the cafeteria and she ‘delicately’ explains the situation, and that the old teacher is coming out of retirement for us, the school has a restraining order against Mrs. Stubel now and that she’s sorry we had to deal with this mess. Our classroom had to go under some heavy reconstruction before we could be let back in there, so for like two weeks we alternated between the cafeteria and the preschooler’s classroom, we had no books or anything, just provided loose-leaf paper and pens. It was like, surreal, but everyone was just so happy to be rid of her and to be in the presence of a competent teacher omfg. We eventually were able to get back into our usual classroom.

  1. It took a while for things to go completely back to normal, though. After the big spectacle she made, for weeks after she was fired we were all very scared of the possibility of Mrs. Stubel returning to the school with a gun in hand. It was always a topic we whispered about at lunch with wide eyes and shivers. Like…genuine nightmare scenario.
  2. About two weeks after she was fired, a boy in the back of the classroom gasped loudly during SSR, and when we all looked at him, he whispered in anger “She never gave us our freakin’ strudels!”
  3. About three months after she was fired, we were lined up at the door to go to Library when a few of us looked through the windows and saw something darting through the trees. It was fast and we couldn’t make anything out, so we let it drop. When the class and teacher returned half and hour later, the book she had borrowed months before from one of the boys was sitting on his desk. It was just laying there, the room was silent, nothing had been disturbed…but I have never seen a book look so threatening. People were freaking out. Someone kept insisting that she turned the book into a bomb. No one figure out how she got in the school, and no one could figure out how she got it on the right desk, as we had switched the seating arrangement since she had last been there.  
  4. A full six months after she had left, it was nearing the end of the school year and our class was dicking around during our last computer class. Someone found a website (that we weren’t allowed to be on) that pulls up any police records attached to whoever’s name you enter, so someone decided to search Mrs. Stubel as a joke. We ended up finding out she had like six DUI’s.

Aaaaand that’s the story of the horrendous teacher I had for two months in 7th grade. One of my favorite party stories but tbh she still haunts me™ .

episode one :: Yuuri Katsuki is the most beautiful disaster that Victor has ever met in his entire life, and Victor has built his empire on beautiful disasters.



Victor isn’t sure he knows what he’s doing anymore by the time casting rolls around for season 22 of The Bachelor.  Okay, he knows what he’s doing, but it’s all autopilot.  He’s got a dossier of Chip Vanderbones and Tad Hardbeefs to look at, but is almost resigned enough to just give into Lilia and Yakov’s suggestion to cast Georgi Popovich, notorious histrionic Bachelorette season 10 runner-up, as this season’s lead out of sheer notgivingafuckness.  At this point Victor isn’t even sure whether he really wants to be in this game at all anymore, but what the hell else he would do besides sleep for a thousand years if he retired before thirty?  

And then Phichit Chulanont comes into his office to distract him during a conference call with Yakov to tell him a story about his friend who just crashed and burned at the Figure Skating Grand Prix Finals, and everything click click clicks into place: redemption narrative.  Twenty young men are going for the gold, but only one can win the heart of Yuuri Katsuki– he can hear the promos, see the character arcs unfold, and the narratives rush through him like they’ve always lived inside him and it feels–exciting.  

“Phichit,” Victor says suddenly, interrupting Phichit and grabbing him from across his desk.  “We have to get him.  He’s our next bachelor.”

“Oh my God,” Phichit replies, eyes widening, and then again, “Oh my God.

“Do you think you could get him?” Victor asks.  He’s seeing figure skating dates, thematic destination shoots in Chile and Finland and Iceland, “The Bachelor: Love on Ice” title screen flashing over two champagne glasses on the lip of an outdoor hot tub.  

“Do I think I can get him,” Phichit repeats dismissively, looking the closest to offended that Victor has ever seen him.  “What do you think you hired me for, Nikiforov.”

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The night starts with a big, spicy Philly cheese steak. It’s about 6pm. I’ve been wanting to try the cheese steak from this corny, 50’s retro place for a long time. I gobble down the big greasy bowl of meat, hot sauce, and cheese, then head to the coffee shop for my weekly draw group. A little after I get home, about 10pm, a stomach ache comes on. “Damn, guess spicy foods are out.” I’ve been getting stomach aches every time I have spicy Thai or hot wings. I google search about spice pain- possible stomach ulcer? “I guess I have been stressed lately, but no more than usual I don’t think…” File under “Will investigate further later.“ According to the comments on this health website, a glass of milk will help. Gulp one down, go to bed.

Wrestle to sleep for about an hour. Realize the ache is just over the required pain threshold to keep you from sleeping. Do some work on my comic, more tired, but stomach worse. Will play batman until I fall asleep. I feel like I’m just running in circles… How many times have I failed this mission? Batman, batman, stomach now hurts too bad to enjoy an active task like video games. Deliriously tired. Would be great to sleep through the rest of this abdominal temper tantrum. Try the old “hot shower will make you sleep” trick. Take some Pepto-Bismol, and some generic acetaminophen. Out of the shower, hurts to walk around now, and to lie down. Guess I’ll have to wait it out with my eyes open. Call and leave my Doc a message, maybe will get a spot in there tomorrow. Need to get that ulcer discovered… Time to enjoy a passive task like watching TV. Breaking Bad feels like the right mixture of funny and painful, just like me and my burning spice belly. Damn, I can’t even enjoy that part where during Hank’s interrogation of that meth head, Wendy, she accuses Hank of trying to buy sexual services from her on behalf of an underage “football player” (a misunderstanding involving Walter Jr. from a few episodes before). Oh hell. Time to look up what time emergency medical clinics open. Guess I’ll have to pay out of pocket since I can’t wait for my Doc tomorrow.  It’s about 4am now. Earliest clinic opens at 8. Now hungry again, but can’t eat what with all the pain. One hour down. Man, this is really starting to hurt. Can I really wait 3 more hours? Sitting is starting to hurt as much as lying and standing. And I’m still not enjoying TV. Okay, I’ve come to a decision…. 

“Hey, Kayla, my stomach still hurts, I’m thinking about driving to the ER, do you wanna come?” “Oh! Ya, sure. What time is it?” “It’s 5:30”. I  call the hospital “Hey, I’ve had a pretty bad stomach ache all night, I’m thinking of coming by.” Operator: *long pause* “Haha, well, okay! We’re open all night, so just come on in.” 

Driving with a stomach ache is not so bad, because you’re already hunched over. Wish Kayla could drive, but she doesn’t really know how, probably would have a panic attack and would definitely crash. Interesting that they have ER parking, I wonder how many ER patients drive themselves here… All bodily positions hurt my insides now, signing in to this place sucks. Give Kayla half the paperwork to fill out, glad she’s here, or this would be really boring. Man, they sure take a long time for someone trying to get into an empty emergency room… Signing in with a nurse, she ask me my height and I say “ ‘5’’8”, but I notice she puts down “ ‘5’’7”… They want to look at my pee, they always want to see my pee. I pee, no blood, so whatever that tells them means I’m getting an ultrasound first. Then a young nurse named Ken, a cool Asian dude with screws through both ears, squirts so much morphine into my IV that I lean back and audibly say “oh my god.” I feel it ripple like a shock wave from my arm down to the ends of my body. My belly is feeling alright now. 

The ultrasound technician tells me that babies are the least common thing she uses ultrasounds for. My joke has fallen flat. Back in the room, the doctor and his manila folder tell me “Good news! No gallstones, there are kidney stones inside your kidneys, but since they are inside, you shouldn’t be feeling the pain from those.” “Wait, does that mean I have to pee those stones out at some poin–” It is not discussed again. Seeing that neither organ has the appropriate stones, Doc would “rather not expose me to more radiation than necessary” and is working on discharging me. But, “I won’t leave here without a diagnosis.” 

In I go to the CT scan tube. That hot squish of contrast dye spreading through my veins. “Okay, we’re moving you into a room upstairs.” Says a hippy technician. Upstairs in my sweet and swanky single with couch, a person I’m pretty sure is just a businessman disguised in medical scrubs types on a computer. He takes down my answers to what seem like pre-surgery questions. “Do you have anybody specific on file in the event you are medically unable to yield consent  for yourself?” This, combined fact that they won’t feed me, makes me wonder what it is I’m going into surgery for. I saw this same thing about a year and a half ago with the whole brain debacle, but that’s a story for another time. Several medical people dip in, sprinkle breadcrumbs of information; it’s like a game show challenge that combines a scavenger hunt with a jigsaw puzzle. You have to gather the pieces of information from their hiding places, then assemble them in the correct order to reveal an answer. A tech comes in and spoils the game, “You seem to have a lot of questions, so I just want to make sure, you know you have appendicitis right? We’re about to take it out.” “Thank god,” I think. “It’s not the spicy foods. Spicy foods are still in.” Downstairs, in pre-op, I complain to my plain-clothes surgeon about how analog tests like pressing on my stomach are remarkably inaccurate, since a doctor’s subjective interpretation of my poor description of say, “the pain is slightly higher” can rule out appendicitis, the same appendicitis that a machine might spot an hour later. I tell him that I almost got sent home. My surgeon tells me he’s been doing analogue tests for 30 years, and not to worry about it. I start to tell him how “my deadpan reaction to pain also causes a lot of people to misdiagnose me, that a lot of people laugh when I describe how I’m in pai–”, but he walks away in the middle to get dressed for surgery. The operating room has big TVs and lights, it looks like a set, and I consider the possibility of fake hospitals as the anesthesia takes the wheel.

In the recovery area, the nurse tells me how big, inflamed appendixes can be agitated by spicy foods, foods high in fat, and dense foods like heavy cheese. I see an image of a spotlit cheese steak appear in a black void. Nurse feeds me ice chips and tells me she craves ice chips when she’s dehydrated. I suggest that she only craves ice chips because she works in a hospital, that ice chips are too unsatisfying a thing to crave at random, and that most people would just crave water. She agrees. Back upstairs in my room, it is now 8pm, and it has been 26 hours since I’ve eaten. I’ve been hydrated only through IV’s. The driest mouth and the clearest pee. Because the lingering anesthetic can cause nausea and vomiting, they will only give me jello. I go nuts on the jello. They continue to give me every jello I ask for, one at a time, like a test. Way past where I though the cutoff point would be, the nurse tells me “That’s it! There’s no more jello! You ate all the jello on this floor.” You’re damn right I did, you’re damn right….

Mutually Assured Dating

‘You were singing really loudly in the shower when I broke into your apartment but then i heard you slip and crash and oh god i should probably check on you in case i get done for murder instead of just robbery’ AU


It took all of fourteen seconds for Derek to realize he was in the wrong apartment.

First, he noticed the very large and scuffed up sneakers and boots ditched haphazardly kind of near the door but half into the living room. Cora was meticulous about her shoes and kept them neatly arranged in a shoe rack right next to the door. The only time they touched the floor was when her feet were in them.

Second, the stuff. There was so much stuff everywhere; clothes thrown over the back of the couch, dishes across the coffee table and all over the kitchen counters, books on every surface, a gaming console dragging wires across the floor and surrounded by games, in cases and out of them. Cora was an unintentional minimalist, in that she threw out anything she didn’t need and lacked a single sentimental bone in her body. Derek and Laura regularly made trips to wherever she lived to save family keepsakes and memories from her ruthless cleaning sprees.

Then he noticed the manly warble coming from somewhere deeper in the apartment, and Cora’s favorite topic of rant floated lazily to the forefront of his mind.

—but my neighbor, oh my god this guy! I’m going to kill him if I ever see him in the hall! His bathroom shares a wall with my bedroom and he sings in the shower, every shower, at all hours. Literally all hours, like 4am, and he only sings Christmas carols at 4am. I’ve have Jingle Bells stuck in my head for a week! 

Shoes, stuff, singing.

This was not Cora’s apartment.

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SKAM S04E05 Clip 5 - Imagine all the people living life in peace

ESKILD: “You’re the one called Elias, right?”
EVA: Elias is your brother?
ESKILD: Then I go up to him and then I stroke him, just a little bit on his side at first, then I feel like a shiver going up his spine. *Gag noises* Then he left pretty quickly, but he seemed open for more fun.
CHRIS: Are you crazy?
EVA: Stop! I can send you the money.
CHRIS: Send me the money? What?
EVA: I can send it! How much is it? Hello!
CHRIS: 112.
EVA: It doesn’t!
CHRIS: 112 for a beer.
EVA: I can give you..
CHRIS: 112,50. 112,40..
[Are you coming?]
EVA: 112,40?
CHRIS: Point 40.
[John Lennon - Imagine]
EVEN: Thank you!
CHRIS: Oh my God
SANA: Yeah..
CHRIS: Yeah..
SANA: Oh, I love you so much.

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UH OH LOOKS LIKE WE’VE GOT A HYDRA FAN

andarthas-webreplied to your post:[Captain America (2011-2012) #1]“Got solid intel…

*facepalms* Painfully obvious none of you read the comics and are making snap judgements based on incomplete info. Also, you couldn’t tell a nazi from a fascist and a hero from a villain if your life depended on it….

Okay. Wow. I can’t believe we’re here. I’m savoring this moment hold on. Let me breathe it in. Let me just lap it up. I have to feel the grace of God come over me so I don’t school yo ass too hard. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Okay

Yup. First off, you…. commented on a screencap of me reading the comic. That I own. That I can take screencaps of. That is in my library. On Comixology. That I paid for. Since most of my library, y’know this one

pales in comparison to the one I’m used to having since I moved across the country and don’t have access to the accumulative collection of mine, my dad’s, and my sister’s. Y’know. The one that has comics dating back to first printings in the 60s. But whatever.

What do I have on Comixology at this point?

Oh right. 2634, most of which are trade collections. And that’s not counting the hundreds of issues I have in the archive because I’ve already used them on my comic book reference blog @renaramblesaboutcomics​. Y’know. Where I’m hosting my comic reviews and live reads I’ve been doing on tumblr since 2011.

But you’re riiiiiight. Maybe I don’t have the reference for Cap. Gosh darnit I’m just such a newb. What the fuck’s wrong with me, commenting on Cap comics I don’t know shit about.

Ohhhhhhhh right. I just own the whole fucking run you’re referring to. Right right. Not to mention I have read the Ultimate comics, the Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale Captain America: White, the Sam Wilson Cap comic before Spencer lost his goddamn mind, and a couple dozen more not to mention the Avengers comics I own, the Spider-Man guest appearances, the X-Men guest appearances, the guest appearances in Captain and Ms. Marvel books, and all those other comics that feature him.

My bad. Looks like you’re full of shit. And I’m an actual Cap Fan. Uh oh.

Looks like you’re in trouble.

But I have to close out with one more thing:

Okay I’ll stay away from the obvious answer which is that you…. apparently know that the National Socialist Movement in 1930s Germany was …. fascist. But that’s okay. (It’s actually not, it just shows you’re fucking ridiculous)

The thing is you’re accusing me of not being able to recognize either. So let me introduce you to someone I’m pretty sure knows Nazis when she sees them.

Hi. I’m Renaroo. I run this blog, also @renaramblesaboutcomics​. Along with being a lifetime comic book fan,the daughter of comic book fans, and the granddaughter of comic book fans, I’m something else that you would know if you wandered around my blog any:

I’m German-American. Specifically I’m only the second generation of Americans in my family. My family came over from post-Nazi Germany in 1950. Specifically I have to thank this little woman in the middle:

That’s my grandma. Actually she’s all of our Grandma – We’re now a family of Italian-German-Americans,l Mexican-Americans, Polish-German Americans, and (my sister and I) Appalachian-German-Americans.

My Grandma just turned 78 this year and in her lifetime she lived through, you guessed it, World War II and Nazi Germany. In fact, she lost her father in the war – my great-grandfather.

She was also as a young child mauled and attacked by an SS German police dog, which she has scars on her arms from. They’re next to the scars she got from her time as a welder in a metal shop in Akron, Ohio during the rubber boom, but that’s less relevant.

This 4′9″ woman has taught me many things over the years. She helped raise my sister and me. And some of things she, and my great-grandmother before she died at the age of 98, would talk to us about was living under a fascist dictatorship and how that place was called…

wait for it…

Nazi Germany.

So, yes. I know what Nazis are. I know what fascists are. If I didn’t, I could call up my comic book collecting dad who is also a history professor, and get him to explain it to us, but I’m pretty sure I don’t have to.

Why?

Because before slow roasting you over a fire, I guess I could’ve pointed out this. It’s sometimes hard to find so I don’t really blame you for not having read it yourself. I’m not an asshole comic book fan who lords that sort of thing over people

But here’s Captain America (1941-1950) #1:

[Captain America (1940-1941) #1]

Oh wow look it’’s Red Skull’s first appearance. What’s that he’s wearing on his chest? Why doesn’t he know he leads HYDRA? Not Nazis. That’s so weird I wonder what the two have in common…

P.S. @andarthas-web​, in case it’s not obviously apparent from the entirety of this post you enabled by trying smear shit on my original post: You’re a fucking idiot.

No, Wait, You Got it All Wrong

You know what there’s not enough of? Canon compliant future fic where Stiles is a cop and he runs into Derek again. What’s that you say? There’s a ton of that?? Yes, true, but NOT ENOUGH.

“…. so then he says, ‘No, Officer, I swear to God this is the first time I’ve ever smoked up! I’ve never been in trouble with the law in my life! And I say, Billy, my man, you’ve been in trouble with me personally twice this month.” Stiles snorts at the memory. “Kid was so fucking high.”

Amanda must be halfway past tipsy, because she laughs uproariously into her beer at the mediocre punchline.

Stiles smiles. He’s satisfied with her reaction, with the warm murmur of the bar, with the buzz he’s got going… with just about everything, actually. After tonight, he’s looking at two full days off before he’s back on the beat, and the night’s still young. He leans back in his chair and takes a pull of his beer, savoring it.

Amanda glances towards the bar, probably considering a fourth round, and then visibly perks up as something near the front catches her eye.

“Oooh, Stiles,” she croons. “Look over at the door, like, just glance over.” She’s adjusted her gaze down at the table now, faking casual disinterest. Badly.

Stiles raises his eyebrows at her.

“This dude just walked in, he’s so your type,” she hisses. “C’mon, look! I’m telling you, six feet two inches of ‘yes, please, give it to me’ muscles, with some salt-and-pepper scruff icing. Unff.”

“Eh,” Stiles says, tipping his weight forward to hunch over the table. It’s not that he isn’t interested, exactly, but this is a cop bar and he doesn’t want to shit where he eats. Metaphorically.

“No, really,” Amanda insists. “He's… oh my God, he’s looking over here. He’s looking at you. Oh my God, Stiles, he’s coming over here!”

“No, he isn’t,” Stiles scoffs. He’s filled out a bit from high school and he’s finally competent at styling his hair, but he’s not that hot. Only Amanda’s sitting straight like a rod, eyes fixed on a point behind him that’s about where a six foot two man’s eyes would be.

“Stiles?”

He turns then, shooting to his feet before his brain’s quite caught up, because that voice is familiar like the back of his own hand.

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It’s a [Tinder] Date! (Part 1/3)

Summary: Thinking he needs to find a date, Natasha signs Steve up to Tinder. In Queens, Peter Parker does the same to you. It’s a match! 

Word Count: 1,723

A/N: This is already planned out and written (in my head). I loved writing this.

Originally posted by imaginingbucky


Nat raised a brow, a mysterious curve to her smile. Steve was immediately suspicious. He felt his shoulders stiffen and his back straighten. He knew he looked like he had a stick up his ass, but he couldn’t help himself. Not when Natasha looked like the cat that had eaten the canary, and wanted to get caught.

“You left your phone on the coffee table,” she said. Her tone was relaxed, which made Steve more nervous.

His eyes narrowed. “What did you do, Romanoff?” he questioned, broad arms crossing over an equally-broad chest.

She merely shrugged before she turned her right-hand palm-up and relaxing it. Steve’s phone was revealed. “See for yourself.”

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27 Dress Code Violations

@jilychallenge 04/2017 | @bantasticbeasts vs @anxiouspotter

Muggle AUs | “i get dress coded so you give me your jacket and we protest unfair regulations for girls together/you sass the teacher about how distracted you are by my shoulders”

Word Count: 2500

special shoutout to @jiilys. solidarity, sister

AO3


i.

She walks into English fifteen minutes late, wearing both a deeply unflattering smock and a scowl. Neither are an especially new look on her.

“Vector,” she says under her breath, as an answer to Mary McDonald’s unspoken question. It’s the answer to every question in the room. Ms Vector is notorious among them all for her very strict adherence to the school’s dress code.

“Yes, Miss Evans’ entrance was very exciting, but I’ll have your attention back to the lesson now, please,” says Ms McGonagall. James snaps back to attention. It’s for the best.

ii.

“Here,” James says, shrugging off his jacket and thrusting it toward Lily. She gives him this look like, fuck off, and James has to bite his tongue to stop from aggravating her. “They’re doing uniform checks up the hall. Just put it on.”

Evans gives him a very strange look, and it takes him a second to realise that it’s neutral.

She looks good in his jacket.

iii. 

Every third dress code violation results in a lunch time detention. It’s only October, and Lily’s already had six. She doesn’t look at James as she takes the seat three ahead and one to the left of him.

iv.

There’s a thump from somewhere in the back of the classroom, and McGonagall isn’t planning on looking up - it sounds like it came from the general vicinity of Potter and Black, and that’s certainly not a situation she wants to engage with - but the entire class is already turned around to see what the fuss is.

She strides down the aisle between the desks, and is about three years past surprised to find James Potter lying on the floor, gazing at the ceiling, glasses knocked aside.

“Am I boring you so much that you decided to take a nap?” she asks, and James gives this wicked smile, and here we go–

“Sorry, Miss, I can’t get up. It’s Evans’ shoulders - they’re overwhelming me. I simply can’t do anything until she covers them up. Sirius, tell me when it’s safe.”

He’s a funny boy, she’ll give him that. “Potter, get up. This is hardly the time for foolishness.”

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