oh my god do we try

anonymous asked:

can you do an allies + canada version a reaction to their s/o accidentally admitting that they thought about and would like to marry them? thank you!

We’ve always included Canada in our Allies! Just a note for the future! Hope you enjoy this! -Admins Sarah and Jay


America: “Oh my god…you have a crush on me? How embarrassing! But for real, if you wanna get married…”
Alfred would be caught off guard and would try to direct it into his humor, but after a while he would just blink and smile at them. If they wanted to marry him, then who was he to say no? Though he would have them wait to make sure they were serious for it, also that way he had time to prep himself for it. But the entire time, he would be squealing in joy at the idea of marrying his best friend forever. 

England: “Y-You want to marry me? Are you sure?”
Arthur would be so shocked that they admitted to wanting to marry him. He would get so flustered and turn bright red as he tried to hide the blush on his cheeks. He wouldn’t believe them at first, but if they said it again then he would become a tongue tied mess. Though in the back of his head, he would already start the wedding planning. 

France: “I heard that correctly, oui?..”
Francis would blink a few times before his eyes would widen..they just admitted they wanted to marry him..? He would be shocked for a moment, of course..but soon he’d begin to plan. If he knew they wanted to marry him, who was he to keep them waiting longer than necessary?

Canada: “You…want to marry me..?”
Matthew would turn bright red..they just admitted they wanted to marry him!? That’s great news…That means when he decided to propose they wouldn’t say no…but it would still shock him nonetheless. No one is typically ready to hear someone say they want to marry them!

Russia: “Are..you serious..?”
Ivan would have a bit of a hard time taking them seriously, at first…he’d be afraid they were just joking with him and wanted to laugh at him..but as soon as he realized they were serious, he would be filled with joy. He would want to propose as soon as possible, since now he knows that they won’t deny him or laugh..

China: “So thinking of wedding bells already?”
Yao would find it adorable if they wanted to marry him! He would nuzzle against them and ask them to tell him about everything they imagined. That way he could start planning their special day. Yao wouldn’t really want to hesitate or wait too long, especially if they already had the wedding bells in their head. 

i hope to god that when jasper gets redeemed and fully uncorrupted, the have lil shorts like they animated in the past with amethyst and steven just showing jasper different weird earth things she maybe never got to encounter while she was on earth

and pranks

A: HEY GUYS! today im gonna have my roomie try out a Carolina Reaper pepper!

A: lets witness the chaos together, shall we?

*camera pans quickly* SWOOS

J: i want the audience to know ive been held captive and im being forced against my will to do this.

A: oh dont be so dramatic. go oooon! eat it!

J:… you said this was “gonna make my mouth feel on fire”, right?

A: yeah?

J: i dont feel a thing.

A: WHAT!? no way! maybe you just got a bad pepper let me see…

A: *cronch* ….HAH! HOLY HOT TAMALES I FEEL LIKE THE SUN JUST LANDED IN MY MOUTH!! AHH HAHAHAHHHHHH

J: ….haha

in conclusion betas can withstand the spiciest of foods and primes cannot

anonymous asked:

why would u say Ryan's whiny? Cos I get the same vibes but can't put into words exactly why I totally agree with u :,/////

Have you seen Ryan’s video of “Why I Hate Camping?” 

god i want to fucking punch that man in the face

He’s such a whiny bitch in this video?? like we get it you hate camping stop being such an ass about it 

And oh my god the fucking heels video

Men Try Heels For A Day

This isn’t the first time he cheated and gives up in every fucking challenge video (and even in test friends!)

he complains about everything in every challenge he’s in and how much he hates it like dude everyone’s doing it without complaining and you’re just being a huge whiny bitch about it

the irony is that in a video where he’s asked what type of girl he likes, he says he prefers girls who don’t complain? YEAH I KNOW CAUSE YOURE THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN ISNT IT

helen deserves better 2k17

WRITING PROMPTS

WRITING PROMPTS FOR DAYS
Feel free to request any of these for any character.

1. “Do you want me to leave?”
2. “I swear it won’t happen again.”
3. “I’m not jealous.”
4. “You can’t keep doing this.”
5. “I’m going to take care of you, okay?”
6. “You can’t die. Please don’t die.”
7. “You did what?!”
8. “Were you ever going to tell me?”
9. “Don’t ask me that.”
10. “I might have had a few shots.”
11. “What’s with the box?”
12. “Say it!”
13. “I could kiss you right now!”
14. “Are you done with that?”
15. “Are you still awake…?”
16. “Excuse you?”
17. “This is all your fault!”
18. “I shouldn’t be in love with you.”
19. “I could kill you right now!”
20. “Just admit I’m right.”
21. “That doesn’t even make sense.”
22. “That’s irrational.”
23. “Just pretend to be my date.”
24. “Are you really going to leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”
25. “When you love someone, you don’t just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!”
26. “I think I’ve been holding myself from falling in love with you all over again.”
27. “I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.”
28. “That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.”
29. “It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”
30. “Can I sit here? The other tables are full.”
31. “You weren’t supposed to laugh!”
32. “This is, by far, the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.”
33. “I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”
34. “These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”
35. “Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you.”
36. “Did I say that out loud?”
37. “Do you think they could have loved me?”
38. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”
39. “How long have you been standing there?”
40. “Have I ever lied to you?”
41. “Have you lost your fucking mind?”
42. “His ego is so visible; I can almost watch it grow.”
43. “I am not losing you again!”
44. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”
45. “I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
46. “I just need to be alone right now.”
47. “When I picture myself happy… It’s with you.”
48. “I made a mistake.”
49. “I may be an idiot, but I’m your idiot.”
50. “I need you to forgive me.”
51. “I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.”
52. “I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death.”
53. “I’m flirting with you.”
54. “I’m not good enough for you.”
55. “I fell in love with my best friend.”
56. “I’m sorry, what? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
57. “I’m up to the challenge.”
58. “I’ve been in love with you my entire life. Ever since the day I first met you.”
59. “I’m yours.”
60. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”
61. “If you go anywhere near them, you’ll have to deal with me!”
62. “It’s okay to cry…”
63. “What do you mean? It’s exciting!”
64. “Talk to me.”
65. “Look at me—just breathe, okay?”
66. “Look, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to say I love you.”
67. “Oh my god! You’re in love with them!”
68. “Well, this is where I live.”
69. “We finish it the same way we started—together.”
70. “What are you afraid of?”
71. “You are the single best thing that has ever happened to me.”
72. “You deserve so much better.”
73. “You don’t have to stay.”
74. “You don’t know you the way I do.”
75. “You fainted, straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”
76. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”
77. “You shouldn’t have even been there!”
78. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
79. “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”
80. “Teach me?”
81. “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain?”
82. “Looks like we’ll be stuck here for a while.”
83. “Just once.”
84. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”
85. “It’s not what it looks like.”
86. “I got you a present.”
87. “Hey! I was gonna eat that!”
88. “See, now, what that so bad?”.”
89. “You’re the best part of me.”
90. “I don’t want to think about what I’d be like without you.”
91. “Can I hold your hand?”
92. “Let’s move in together.”
93. “It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”
94. “What time is it?”
95. “Just wait a second.”
96. “Here, let me.”
97. “You’re so cute when you pout like that.”
98. “Hold me back!’
99. “I don’t care what they said, it doesn’t mean shit!”
100. “I adore you.”

The first time Damian gets kidnapped as Bruce Wayne's son

Thugs over video feed: “Okay man, just remember you have 24 hours to deliver the money or else the kid dies 

Bruce: "All right, but first I just want to talk to him please I need to know my little baby is okay *wipes away very convincing Fake Tear™* 

*camera pans to Damian, who’s tied to a chair but seems totally chill with the situation and even gives an evil grin when he sees Bruce* 

Bruce (yelling dramatically): "OH NO MY DARLING CHILD ARE YOU OKAY??”

Bruce (furiously whispering): “Don’t you dare hurt them do you hear me young man" 

"DID YOU GET BOO BOOS?? DO YOU HAVE ANY BROKEN BONES?? OH MY GOD DID THEY TOUCH YOU DID THEY STEAL YOUR INNOCENCE REMEMBER NO MEANS NO DAMIAN YOU NEED TO FIGHT BACK AND STAY STRONG UNTIL WE COME RESCUE YOU OKAY" 

"If you try to fight back at all I swear to god you’re grounded for a month when you get back" 

"WHAT KIND OF MONSTER COULD KIDNAP A CHILD YOU HEARTLESS FIENDS CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S JUST A BOY" 

"Please don’t kill them" 

THE MYSTERIOUS VLIVE VIDEO:  WHY WAS JIKOOK HIDING????

OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY! I received this same ask 4 times, in less than 24h. It just took me some time to answer it because I had to gather data.

I didn’t had a tumblr when that video was out so my detailed analyses wasn’t shared with ANYONE! But now you asked and I am ssoooooo glad you did. Because OH BOY!! I can easily spot a liar. And Jungkook was clearly caught in a lie.

Here we go : It starts with Taehyung doing a Vlive. A viewer asks him to go to another member’s room. 

He states that he doesn’t know their room’s number.

So He texts the other members to ask them about their whereabouts (using a group chat). You can hear him texting around 5:20. Somebody (we will discover later that he was talking to Jin, who was taking a bath) offers him to go to JK’s room and even gives him the room’s number. 

But he definetly texts JK to tell him that he is coming (5:35 to 5:41). He was smiling as he kept looking at his phone, waiting for a reply. However, He will not wait for an answer from JK. Because normally he is known to be always on his phone especially if the other members are doing a Vlive (Remember when Jin and jimin were doing a Vlive and kookie just came in). So he will assume that it is not a nuisance. Just a fun way to entertain Armys.

I want you to focus here: The text was sent at 5:41 and tae was in front of JK’s door at 6:14. Be it more than half a minute. 6:14 to 6:18 V will be calling Jungkook while knocking the door. JK will answer at 6:21 (It took him 7 seconds) to ask who it was. Of course he knew it was Tae tae. the members always joke how they can know eachothers just by their breathing or footsteps. He was just delaying the time. One more thing to take into consideration. The hotel rooms are not soundproof. Is this why JK is playing the music? (We will comeback to this point later). At 6:28 JK will be like asking someone ‘Who could it be?’. Then quickly finds the first excuse that comes to mind ‘I am not wearing clothes’. Because think about it, no other excuse could have worked better. This is also the first excuse you think of if you want someone to not just barge in into your room.

He will keep making unnecessary noises before opening the door. as if he was trying to hide the footsteps of someone (6:45).  Only at 6:49 JK finaly opens the room. It took him (6:14 to 6:49) 35 seconds. Knowing that he didn’t even wear pants… that take 3 seconds to put on nor the least tie his bathrobe belt that took him 7s on camera. So even the mere 10 seconds were precious doing something else? 

The light was  dim. And I could understand someone staying in a weak lighted room. (i am like that too). BUT a soft lighted room, naked and with some soft music he doen’t even know? This is called a mood setter to Bang Bing Bara Bing Bang. Maybe being naked can mean being at ease by himself in a hotel room (Who will believe that?) But why did he not take his makeup off. Jungkook is known to be allergic to foundation, so he is usually the first one to take it off. But our boy had a full glam on. Who were you trying to impress BOYAA~~

AND the anxious bunny got scared. But again why would you be scared? If you were in the room alone. We will just assume you were watching some video or masturb…. BUT there was someone else in the room … SO?

After that V was about to answer JK’s question “I wanted to be on V…” When a song starts playing. He first thought it was the ringtone of the phone on the table (7:16). But it was JK who was controlling the song using his OWN phone via bluethooth. So Whose phone was that? It was jimini’s phone (Chimchim used that same phone the next day for his Vlive).

Add to this jimin’s hoodie … (Don’t ask me how we knew. It is scary but we know their clothes. there is even bogs who just follow their fashion).

Then JK will keep asking again and again. “Why are you here?”. Tae will give him a simple obvious answer “to do V app”. and JK will be like “Ahh~~~” (Seriously boy why are you so nervous?!)

Jungkook will spot lot of food trash. He will say that he ate it all ALONE?! (JK was dieting) … So he is telling me: he was in the room naked, with the dime light, and the unknown romantic music? Eating bread? BOY I know you can’t lie … BUT THIS? You were totally eating something else but mainly not just bread

Can we talk about the bed? wasn’t the bed too well made? maybe that was the thing that took them time to open the door? Because if he was alone in a Hotel room while everything is all over the place. Why is the bed the only thing that is tidy? Even the pillows?

At 7:59 you could hear the bathroom door open while JK was adjusting the light and V was laying on the bed. Then Jk will tell Mr J “You scared me”. He was clearly not talking to Tae (8:05). That’s when we were 200% sure someone was hiding, AKA Mr J. 

At the start of the video The bathroom door was closed. But then the light in the bathroom was turned on and the door was slighty open. (Do you believe in ghosts? maybe but I believe in Jimin more). 

The mood in that video was so awkward. The tension was unbearable. And Jungkook was restless. Again out of the blue JK will say “I didn’t wash up yet” as “I still need to take a shower, so you better leave as soon as possible”. yet Tae answers by “I didn’t shower either”. Even V’s face darkened during a moment. remember how his face was all smiles at the start. 

The “I am too nervous to hear you, and have a proper discussion, so i will just talk about whatever” will keep going on and on. V will try to propose singing a song. But our bunny will be like “My makeup is smeared” … Boy why do you keep giving us clues we could have just ignored? *sigh* The makeup BTS get, is not the one you girls put. It is stage makeup. Made so even if they run, dance, be exposed to strong hot light. It will not budge. The fact that it smeared … and that he is concerned about it …OH GOD …*use your imagination da*mit Imma not describe everything. This is not smut GAH* 

There is also this discussion. V made JK believe that ALL of BTS sang before him. BUT Jk was like “How can it be true when one of them was with me the whole time kinda attitude” (8:58). he is so sure even if he didn’t watch the Vlive. 

Recall how he said he was hungry, that’s why it took him 5 decades to not even finish that small piece of bread? then says he was full? then asks to eat ramen??? Boy? Have you heard of logic? Yes it happens to me to be hungry exactly after finishing a meal. BUT I will finish the meal first … *He looks cute tho! Focus Mimi focus. don’t get distracted by that bunny*

A lot of people misunderstood this part. They tought Jin was taking a shower in JK’s room. No no no! It was Tae informing kookie that he came after Jin notified him via text. AND Jungkook will ignore that and keeps asking Tae “Can we stay on V for a long time?”. 

Plus him glancing at the washroom all the time. I’ve never seen more obvious than that … 

And this last part, was the cherry on the cake (13:42). Just watch it. You will laugh for 5 min at Jungkook trying to stay as calm as possible. Also, Tae “WE are coming”. JK: Are YOU going..”

The door also closes as soon as V leaves (4 SECONDS: the exact time it took V from the washroom to the door). The doubtful. Is that we didn’t hear JK rushing to close it either. That means it was Mr J who did.
If you have good ears around 14:03 you could even hear Jimin’s voice. 

A liar doesn’t make sense and is full of contradictions. Seems to be thinking hard. Is nervous, tense, and fidgety. Makes few complaints or negative comments. JK was hiding Jimin but the question is: Why was he hiding. The non shippers will tell you he was probably not wearing makeup. I say nop, he wasn’t wearing something else … 

So what do I think? 3 words: JIKOOK IS REAL!

Thanks for the ask ^^
By @mimibtsghost 

Cas finds tumblr
  • Cas: Dean there's this interesting website called tumblr
  • Dean: Cas, stay away from there
  • Cas: *confused head tilt* What is Destiel Dean? It seems popular
  • Dean: Cas no-
  • Cas: Dean I don't understand... what is fanfiction?
  • Dean: *gets up and goes towards Cas* Come on Cas... give me the laptop buddy
  • Cas: The laptop's warning me of smut. What is smut?
  • Dean: *tries to grab the laptop*
  • Cas: *dodges Dean and starts reading* This... this is very explicit. How do they know all this?
  • Dean: Cas we don't talk about that!
  • Cas:
  • Dean:
  • Dean: Wait a minute I don't understand
  • Cas: It's like they've been spying on us Dean
  • Dean:
  • Cas:
  • Dean:
  • Cas:
  • Dean: *eyes widening* Oh Chuck... SAM!
  • Sam: *trying hard not to laugh* What? People like it!

it sucks how much straight women don’t want to consider lesbians and bi women as fellow women. while straight girls laugh at straight men who say “no homo” and refuse to be affectionate with each other, they adopt similar attitudes; if a girl they know is discovered to be gay or bi, she often loses those opportunities to be affectionate or “one of the girls”. little things, like changing in the locker room (“we’re all girls, we’ve seen it all”) become like warzones where any accidental glance from a gay or bi girl is interpreted as a predatory advance. when gay and bi girls come out, straight women do not trust us. they assume we are just like men and will use similar tactics to try and hit on or ensnare girls in relationships. the mutual respect we once had dissolves as our every movement is scrutinized because, oh my god, what if that lesbian is actually interested in me? crushes in particular are difficult. if you don’t admit to your friend that you might be interested in her, she thinks you’ve betrayed her and secretly been objectifying her against her will. if you do admit it, you’re considered a nasty pervert who doesn’t know how to just be friends with someone. most of the time, it’s hard to decipher for oneself if there is attraction there; for a lot of gay and bi women, we realize that we are attracted to women because those feelings we had for our friends, important women in our life, etc. are actually more than friendship. now we’re demanded to parse out our attractions like its black and white: either we just want to be friends, and we can be trusted, although she may be disappointed a gay girl isn’t interested in her, or we are hopelessly in love and lust, and must be avoided. it’s not always clear cut! it’s not always possible to tell whether feelings for friends are just friendship or more, and most of us have nothing to guide us in our analysis of those feelings!

stop placing these expectations on your gay and bi friends. please, treat us like people, like your other female friends, not predators looking to exploit friendships with innocent straight girls for our gain. we need friends, just like anyone else, and it can be genuinely traumatizing dealing with straight girls who dehumanize us like this. we’re not your fucking enemies, so stop treating us like it.

Human Vs Door

I had the pleasure of being the DM to a casual game of DnD.

me: you approach the unlocked wooden door. What do you do?

our party’s paladin: I roll to kick the door down!! *rolls a nat1*

me, a somewhat forgiving dm: you successfully kick through the door, however your leg is stuck and it has not actually opened.

-we go through a round of turns in which every other party member merely walks through the door and observes the next chamber-

me: alright paladin, what is your move?

paladin:

paladin: I roll to kick my other foot through the door and set myself free! *somehow rolls ANOTHER nat 1*

-our entire party cracks up as now the paladin has both feet stuck through the door. We do, however, successfully complete the dungeon and move onto another-

me: you come to a stone door which is visibly locked.

paladin:  :)

me: oh my god

paladin: I punch the door, trying to break it *rolls yet another nat 1*

-our rogue successfully opens the door and frees the paladin, when they come to a second locked door-

paladin: :)

rogue: no

me: no

druid: no

paladin: I roll to pick the lock with my finger *rolls another nat 1, getting finger stuck in lock*

-a turn passes-

paladin: I roll to pick the lock with my finger again *somehow rolls a nat 20*

paladin: :)

everyone else: oh my god

affection & seduction .
  • “ mm… m—more ~”
  • “ c—could you go a little faster… ~”
  • “ a—-aa–again , d—do that again… “
  • “ n—no , no… it’s fine ~ it’s good… don’t worry”
  • “ nO—NOooot — t h e r e ”
  • “ co—-uld you… go a little slower, please?”
  • “ god… you smell so good… ”
  • “ you’re so warm… ”
  • “ oh — wow… t—that actually felt nice ”
  • “ you look so good like this…”
  • “ you look so… beautiful ”
  • “W—WATCH MY HEAD—”
  • “—OUCH???”
  • “ a—-A—–a–??? slOW DOWN — STOP—I THINK I PULLED SOMETHING ”
  • “ o——-okay that’s a new muscle ——-”
  • “ maybe we should switch —– ”
  • “ i’m not gonna do that. ”
  • “ that’s a thing???”
  • “ mm… i guess i could try?”
  • “ ~ would it be… okay if i tried this? ”
  • “ would you… be up for trying _______ ? ”
  • “ so… i was ~ thing we could… you know… ”
  • “ can i… take off your shirt?”
  • “ woah… your skin is… really soft… ”
  • “ your hands are already up my shirt —–”
  • “ hey… i didn’t say that you had to stop… ~”
  • “ it’s okay… go on ~” 
  • “ this —– really is nothing like porn —-”
  • “ IT LOOKS EASIER IN PORN ”
  • “ don’t… expect too much , please? ”
  • “ o—-oh—g—o—g–g o d ”
  • “… ~ did it hurt? ”
  • “ I DID NOT INTEND TO DO THAT I AM S O SORRY ”
Epoch

Epoch (m) a period of time in history or a person’s life, typically one marked by notable events or particular characteristics.

Words: 11.3k

Genre/Warnings: smut, language and angst

Pairing: Reader x Jungkook

Summary: When Namjoon breaks up with you, you’re left wondering what to do. Realizing you’ve been unhappy with your life, you go off to Hawaii. In Hawaii, you meet a cute desk clerk named Jungkook who saves your ass. (Based off of Forgetting Sarah Marshall)


You were waiting for your boyfriend, Namjoon, to come over. He had just gotten back from New York, where he had a few concerts. You worked with him, you were a lyric writer and producer. He had called you last night, saying, that he would be getting in early and wanted to see you.

Keep reading

Sincerely, Me Thru Google Translate

[Connor]
Dear Evan Hansen
We have lost touch too
It is very crazy
And we do not talk like her to suck
But I tell you, I miss you every night
I rub my nipples began to complain

[Evan]
Did you write this?

[Jared]
I only want to tell the truth

[Evan]
This requires perfect. the email to prove that we are true friends. I will do

[Connor]
I must tell you, without you life is difficult

[Jared]
Hard?

[Connor]
that is bad

[Jared]
Bad?

[Connor]
Have a very rough

[Jared]
Kinky!

[Connor]
I miss life and other things

[Jared]
very special

[Evan]
It’s noisy!

[Connor]
I love my parents

[Jared]
Who said that?

[Connor]
I love my parents
But another day of war
If I stop taking the drug
so everything

[Jared]
the use of drugs?

[Evan]
Just fix it!

[Connor]
If I stopped smoking crack

[Evan]
Crack? !

[Connor]
If I stopped smoking pot
so everything
I’ll need your advice
I’ll try better
I turn
Wait and see

Because everything needs little renovation
If you give your attention, it’s easy to change
All you need to do is be sure you can be that you want to be
Sincerely, I

[Jared]
We finished yet

[Evan]
I can not e-mail them. I want to show that we are good friends, you know?

[Jared]
Oh, God.

[Evan]
Dear Connor Murphy,
Yes, I miss our conversations
Stop doing drugs
Just trying to take a deep breath, walk

[Jared]
or

[Evan]
I send you a photo of the most beautiful trees

[Jared]
No!

[Evan]
So obsessed with all my skills in forest

[Jared]
Not at all.

[Evan]
Buddy, I’m proud of you
Only continue to promote
your turn
I can see

[Connor]
The long wait to see!

[Evan and Connor]
Because everything needs little renovation
If you give your attention, it’s easy to change
All you need to do is be sure you can be that you want to be
Sincerely, I

[Connor]
my sister hot

[Evan]
I go to Le!

[Jared]
my fault.

[Connor]
Dear Evan Hansen,
Thank you to send all notes

[Evan]
Dear Connor Murphy,
I’m proud to be your friend

[Evan and Connor]
friendship beyond where we are
your average bond

[Evan]
But not because we are gay

[Connor]
No, not because we are gay

[Evan and Connor]
We are close, but not so
The only thing I loved my father

[Connor]
All right!

[Evan]
You better and better every day

[Connor]
I improve every day

[Evan and Connor]
We improve every day

[All]
Hey hey!

Because everything needs little renovation
If you give your attention, it’s easy to change
All you need to do is be sure you can be that you want to be
correctly

Dear Miss

Sincerely, I
Sincerely, I
Sincerely, I
Sincerely, I

Birthday Boy

Yoongi wants to give his best friend Jimin the perfect birthday gift… And it just so happens to be you.

Originally posted by lethargicmin

word count: 10.4k (grab some popcorn)

genre: FILTH smut

pairing: yoonmin x reader [virgin!jimin]

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Things Bruce has definitely said to his boys Part 2

“It is not okay to use sign language to make fun of the waitress. Uh-huh, I’m looking at all of you.”

“Jason don’t- no- please no! …you just had to stuff the entire egg in your mouth and get it stuck!”

“Can you not give the finger to the paparazzi. They already hate us after Jason went and tackled one when they went and threw a banana peal at him. …. no, I’m not joking. Type Bruce Wayne’s Child Assaults Innocent Photographer into your phone. Just shameful!”

“‘I was high-fiving his face’ is not an excuse for slapping your brother.”

“NO! You don’t get a treat for doing your share of the gardening!”

“Stop calling your brother a hoe.”

“Why is there a cut out of Nicki Minaj in the den?”

“Stop playing with your chicken drumsticks, you’re making a mess.”

“Dick, why is Tim and Damian covered in sharpie? …oh they were having a marker fight …was this after the banquet, where both of them were still wearing $4,000 suits? … yes? Well, isn’t that just lovely.”

“And you let Damian take the Ferrari off the estate?! …you only went to Walmart! Do you know what kinda shit goes down at Walmart? I fought a man in a Walmart parking lot yesterday! You don’t take a car like that there!”

“What is brows on fleek? You say this is what Damian has?”

“You bought 500 hundred burritos from Taco Bell? Oh god, those poor workers.”

“For fucks sake Tim, you don’t need a coffee machine in every room of the manor.”

“No, I will not dab with you.”

“Who put the the head of the front statue in the butt of the horse hedge out back? God, I’ll just check the security cameras. They will decide who gets to run twenty miles.”

“The floor is sticky. Why is the floor sticky? WHO PARTICIPATED IN A PANCAKE EATING CONTEST AGAIN!!!”

“Why are toilets white and not neon orange? I don’t know. Google it.”

“Why can’t you be a good kid like Duke? He doesn’t leave milk in his room to rot.”

“You bought a one-hundred pumpkins to line the drive way just to prove you had more autumn spirit than Jason?  I’m surprised I’m not surprised at this.”

“How, even being drunk, would you think setting off fireworks in the microwave be a good idea?”

“Put the cat down, it isn’t yours. …don’t you dare pick it back up when I turn around.”

“Why is there a glowing strippers pole in the batcave?”

“This is the fifth phone you’ve shattered in the last month. Stop bringing it on patrol, that’s why we have coms.”

“Stop prank calling Pizza Hut. You’re going to make the employees go crazy like you’ve made me!”

“Why is there noodles all over the kitchen floor? …a ritual to honour the noodle god? Wow, the excuses just get better and better every day.”

“My secretary said you called her, apparently trying to hit on her. …oh, you were dared?  Who dared you? …Jason!” *growls* “When is it not Jason.”

“Instead of doing your work, you spent five hours playing candy crush?  Get, get, go for a run.  The last thing I want is to be on of those parents with a two hundred pound child, cause that’s where you’re headed.“

Part 1 [here]

Angsty Bojack Horseman Sentence Starters
  • “The most important thing is, you got to give the people what they want, even if it kills you.”
  • “You know, sometimes I feel like I was born with a leak, and any goodness I started with just slowly spilled out of me.”

  • “Life is a series of closing doors, isn’t it?”

  • “Am I a good person?”

  • “That’s the problem with life, either you know what you want and you don’t get what you want, or you get what you want and then you don’t know what you want.“ 

  • “There’s nothing for you behind you. All that exists is what’s ahead." 

  • "Family is a sinkhole, and you were right to get out when you had the chance." 

  • “I don’t understand how people… live. It’s amazing to me that people wake up every morning and say: ‘Yeah, another day, let’s do it.’ How do people do it? I don’t know how.” 

  • “You didn’t know me and then you fell in love with me. And now you know me.” 

  • “Closure is a made up thing by Steven Spielberg to sell movie tickets”.

  • “We’re just two lonely people trying to hate ourselves a little less.” 

  • “I don’t think I believe in ‘deep down’. I think that all you are is just the things that you do.”

  • “You were born broken, that’s your birthright.”

  • “You know what your problem is? You want to think of yourself as the good guy.”

  • “you’re a selfish goddamn coward who just takes whatever he wants and doesn’t give a shit about who he hurts. That’s you.”

  • “You know, it’s funny… when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.”

  • “I’m sorry, alright? I screwed up, I- I know I screwed up.”

  • “You can’t keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay! You need to be better!”

  • “You are all the things that are wrong with you.”

  • “Fuck, man. What else is there to say?”

  • “We’re not doomed. In the great, grand scheme of things, we’re just tiny specks that will one day be forgotten.”

  • “The only thing that matters is right now, this moment, this one spectacular moment we are sharing together.”

  • “I don’t understand how people… live. It’s amazing to me that people wake up every morning and say: ‘Yeah, another day, let’s do it.’ How do people do it? I don’t know how.”

  • “He’s so stupid he doesn’t realize how miserable he should be. I envy that.”

  • “It’s not about being happy, that is the thing. I’m just trying to get through each day.”

  • “I can’t keep asking myself ‘Am I happy?’ It just makes me more miserable.”

  • “It takes a long time to realize how truly miserable you are and even longer to see it doesn’t have to be that way.”

  • “When you do bad things, you have something you can point to when people eventually leave you. It’s not you, you tell yourself. It’s that bad thing you did.”

  • “It’s so cruel to let people love you. All you’re doing is promising you’ll one day break their hearts.”

  • “One day, you’re gonna look around and you’re going to realize that everybody loves you, but nobody likes you. And that is the loneliest feeling in the world.”

  • “There are some people you can’t save. Cause those people will thrash and struggle, and try to take you down with them.”
  • “ Hey, I wanted to talk to you about… you know. I feel bad about what happened.”
  • “I don’t forgive you.”
  • “No. I’m not gonna give you closure. You don’t get that. You have to live with the shitty thing you did for the rest of your life. You have to know that it’s never, ever going to be okay!”
  • “You have to believe me. I did everything I could.”
  • “I had a good life, but what I needed then was a friend! And you abandoned me. And I will never forgive you for that.”
  • “Now get the fuck out of my house!”
  • “ Look, I’m sorry about all the stuff I said about you earlier.”
  • “Do you… do you think it’s too late for me? I mean, am, am, am I just doomed to be the person that I am? “
  • “I, I, I need you to tell me that I’m a good person.”
  • “I just wanted to tell you that I know. I know you want to be happy, but you won’t be… and I’m sorry.”
  • “ What more do you want? What else could the universe possibly owe you? “
  • “I want to feel good about myself. The way you do. And I don’t know how. I don’t know if I can.”
  • “If you ever try to contact me or my family again, I will fucking kill you.”
  • “ You can’t just disappear. You really hurt a lot of people.”
  • “In this terrifying world, all we have are the connections that we make.”
  • “It’s so sad that when you see someone as they really are, it ruins them.”
  • “You like being there to rescue me. Because it makes you feel good about yourself.”
  • “ You know that I don’t do the whole love thing. Either you end up hurting someone or they hurt you. So what’s the point?”
  • “ Uh…. Oh, god, I’m drowning. I feel like I’m drowning.”
  • “Hey, we have all done shitty stuff before. Most of us aren’t as proud of it as you seem to be.”
  • “It doesn’t get better and it doesn’t get easier.”
  • “I can’t keep lying to myself thinking I’m gonna change, I’m poison.”
  • “I come from poison and I have poison inside me and I destroy everything I touch. That’s my legacy.”
  • “I have nothing to show for the life I have lived. And I have nobody in my life who’s better off for having known me.”
  • “You’re gonna wanna kill yourself, and there’s going to be no one left to stop you.” 
The Void Inside Me (NSFW 18+)

A/N: This idea was sprouted by one of those ads we’re the two people are texting about something really agnsty or suspenseful and you have to download the app to see the whole story. I loved the idea so much and thought no one would be more suited for it than Void. I want to thank @writing-obrien for seriously helping me out with this when I was completely stumped. Also @celestial-writing because this fic would not be finished if it weren’t for her motivating me to push through up until the very end. And @sarcasticallystilinski too for all her feedback. I think they all edited this at some point too so thank you beautiful babes, I love you all more than most. Lastly, Koneko is Japanese for kitten so says google translater. I’m sorry if I got that wrong.

Warnings: Smut; choking.

Word Count: 6860

|Masterlist|

Originally posted by teendeucalion

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Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris in the library
  • Eric: "Get up!"
  • Dylan: "GET UP!"
  • Eric: "Stand up right now or we'll blow your fucking heads off!"
  • Dylan: "Fine I'll start shooting then..." (shoots Velasquez) "Woohoo!"
  • Dylan: "All jocks stand up... white baseball cap"
  • Eric: "Pigs are here..." (begins firing out the window)
  • Dylan: (shoots Hall, Ireland, Steepleton) "Yahoo!"
  • Patti Nielson: "our father... who art in heaven.. hallowed be thy name"
  • Dispatcher: "ma'am, you need to forget about praying right now. What's happening there?"
  • Nielson: "They're in here.. they're killing kids... I have to go." (drops phone)
  • Eric: (kills Curnow) "Die! Motherfucker!"
  • Dylan: "WOO!"
  • Kasey Ruegsegger: (after being shot by Eric) "Oh!"
  • Eric: "Stop your bitching! It's merely a flesh wound,"
  • Dylan: (laughing hysterically)
  • Eric: "Peek-a-boo" (kills Bernall)
  • Dylan: (shoots Ireland) "Die! ...down on the floor!"
  • Dylan: "REB?"
  • Eric: "Yeah?"
  • Dylan: "hey, man... there's a nigger over here."
  • Eric: "shoot him"
  • Dylan: "SHIT YEAH!"
  • Shoels: "no...no...no...mom!"
  • (Shoels and Kechter killed)
  • (CO2 bomb detonates)
  • Valeen Schnurr: "oh my god... help me..."
  • Eric: "do you believe in God?"
  • Valeen: "no..yes..."
  • Dylan: "Why?"
  • Eric: "God is gay."
  • John TOmlin: "Don't... done enough?"
  • (shots fired)
  • Dylan: "You think we've done enough?" (laughing)
  • Eric: "nice glasses" (shots fired.. sounds of a scuffle.. shots fired again.. Mauser killed)
  • Dylan: "was he trying to jump you?"
  • Eric: "Yeah"
  • (shots fired... DePooter killed)
  • Dylan: "Look what we have here..."
  • Eric: "What?"
  • Dylan: "just some fat fuck"
  • Dylan: "give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you."
  • Evan Todd: "I don't want to get into trouble"
  • Dylan: "Trouble! You don't know what trouble is..."
  • Evan Todd: "That's not what I mean... I don't have a problem with you guys..."
  • Dylan: "I'm going to let this fat fuck live... little fat fucking piece of shit... you can have him if you want."
  • Eric: "Let's go to the commons"
  • Dylan: "One more thing" (sound of something smashing)
  • Dylan: "Reb, ya ready?"
sentence prompts
  1. “What if I say no?”
  2. “Get out.”
  3. “I dreamed of you last night.”
  4. “I don’t know if you noticed… but we’re in a party”
  5. “You can dance with me… if you want!”
  6. “DON’T LOOK!!”
  7. “I think people hug at this point.”
  8. “I’ll take you.”
  9. “Why didn’t you call me?”
  10. “Would you stop that?!”
  11. “I loved you.”
  12. “Yeah I was there.”
  13. “Don’t say that.”
  14. “I’ll take the couch.”
  15. “You lied to me.”
  16. “Maybe you didn’t love me after all.”
  17. “Take my hand.”
  18. “SO… you think I’m hot?”
  19. “What are you doing?””Hiding.”
  20. “Let’s run. Together.”
  21. “Wow! you’re good at this!”
  22. “I think we should stop seeing each other.”
  23. “You have a picture of me? On your fridge?” 
  24. “Do I know you?”
  25. “I thought we could go back to whatever the hell we were!”
  26. “Did I just say that?”
  27. “Breathe, okay? Just breathe.”
  28. “Stand behind me.”
  29. “But I don’t want to leave.”
  30. “Tell me a secret.”
  31. “DON’T PRetend with me!!”
  32. “I saw you, right there.”
  33. “I-I just wanted to say that I uh, I missed you.”
  34. “I’m not lying.”
  35. “You look… okay. I MEAN-”
  36. “I knew I’d find you here.”
  37. “You still remember?”
  38. “I guess I just wanted to know if you missed me.”
  39. “All I needed was my friend.”
  40. “I like your new place.”
  41. “You left!”
  42. “Do you know any jokes?”
  43. “Are you hungry?”
  44. “I’m not supposed to be here.”
  45. “Do I even wanna know?!”
  46. “Take me home… please?”
  47. “Hey just be cool.”
  48. “You have pretty hands.”
  49. “I’m sorry.”
  50. “Sorry I woke you up.”
  51. “It’s about to rain, get inside.”
  52. “So… friends?”
  53. “I’m his/her best friend.”
  54. “I got you, it’s okay. It’s okay.”
  55. “We can leave, you know?”
  56. “Did I interrupt something?”
  57. “I’m trying, okay?”
  58. “OH MY GOD YOUR EYES!!!”
  59. “Why didn’t you ask me instead?”
  60. “Sing to me.”
  61. “What’s my prize?”
  62. “I don’t want to see you anymore.”
  63. “You’re so cute!!!”
  64. “I was trying to protect you.”
  65. “I’ll kill you.”
  66. “And then you laughed.”
  67. “I didn’t know where to go to.”
  68. “I was having a nightmare.” 
  69. “I know this song.”
  70. “I need someone to hear me.”
Secretly Dating Bucky Barnes:

A/N: I will be writing for Bucky now too :)

Words: 582

Enjoy!


At the start

  • When Bucky was first introduced as part of the Avengers family, Tony had warned you to stay away from him. It was obvious those two had some unsolved issues.
  • After a while you became curious about the Winter Soldier and would send him quick glances and smiles, those of which he would return.
  • “You know you don’t have to dodge me right? I’m not as bad as Stark makes me out to be”
  • “Who said i was dodging you, Soldier?”
  • Those quick glances and smiles would turn into secret-late night movie sessions in your room and the odd act of affection.

Catching feelings

  • It didn’t take long for you two to start catchings feelings for each other
  • “I have serious feelings for you”
  • “And you’re only telling me this now?”
  • You’d have to constantly sneak around behind the others backs, doing things like hanging out after everyone else had gone to bed and having coffee dates in the more secluded parts of town
  • Because if everyone knew, you were both afraid of how they’d react
  • So when Bucky finally asked you to be his girlfriend you’d both decided to see how much longer you could hide it from everyone

Dating

  • Bucky isn’t one to be affectionate, but when he is it’s the small things like holding hands, having his arm around you or on your leg, having you sit on his lap (all in private of course)
  • In front of the other Avengers he’d simply place a hand on your back and give you a cheeky smile when passing you in the hall
  • Sometimes he’d get real daring and give you a quick peck on the lips when no one else was looking
  • “Oh my god Bucky, we could’ve been caught!”
  • “I couldn’t help myself, doll”
  • Bucky would still get nightmares often, you’d always be there to comfort him and he’d do the same for you
  • Constantly having to cover hickeys and bite marks
  • Him being protective as heck of you on missions and trying to hide it from the others

Sex

  • The sex didn’t happen straight away, To be fair you both needed time before jumping into anything like that
  • But when it did happen, it was unlike anything else
  • Bucky was an absolute sweetheart and didn’t want to hurt you, he kept making sure you were okay and comfortable
  • “Are you sure this is okay?”
  • His hands would be able to work wonders, so would his tongue ;)
  • Bucky’s moans would be like music to your ears
  • Trying your best to make as little noise as possible because Steve was home but it was reasonably difficult
  • After that, the sex would always be mind blowing
  • “Bucky we can’t do it on the couch, the others sit here”
  • “They won’t find out”

The others finding out

  • You didn’t mean for the others to find out, but one day when Steve was looking for something in Bucky’s room he came across a few photos of you and Bucky.
  • One of the photos was one Bucky had taken of you on a lazy day, you just happened to have been wearing one of his shirts on that day.
  • “Don’t tell the others!”
  • “Oops…”
  • Admittedly, Tony thought it was adorable but he wouldn’t tell you that
  • “Wait, so those hickeys… OH MY GOD”
  • “Shut it Natasha!”
  • Now that the others knew, you two didn’t have to sneak around any longer

Originally posted by seabasschino