Summary: Housesitting for Dean had its perks, his house was beautiful, quiet and relaxing when it came to studying compared to your dorm or the lecture hall. However, your friends convince you to throw a party at his bachelor pad only to have Dean crash the party.
…oh my god. What if Sombra’s bear is like one of those debugging rubber ducks. Like she explains different hacking issues she’s run into with the bear then figures out the solution and just seizes the bear and screams “OF COURSE! WHY DIDN’T I SEE THAT BEFORE!?” while shaking it.
louis: I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me. But I can’t help it that I’m popular - Gretchen Wieners
[driving away] I want my pink shirt back!!! I want my pink shirt back!!! - Damian
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant, and die. Don’t have sex in the missionary position, don’t have sex standing up, just… don’t do it. Promise? Alright, everybody grab some rubbers. - Coach Carr
Oh my God, Karen! You can’t just ask people why they’re white!
- Gretchen Wieners
Qrow. Tai. I have a confession to make. *Summer said as she teammates play a video game.*
We know you are banging my sister.
We are cool with it.
Wha-WHAT!? H-how did you know!?
Raven sent out an email to the entire school saying you two are banging and threatening anyone who even thinks about trying to ask you out.
Plus, Ozpin gave her detention for flying an airship round with a banner saying, "SUMMERAVEN FOREVER!"
*Summer's face turns bright red and pulls her hood over her head to hide it and to muffle her screams of embarrassment.* WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?
*Suddenly Summer feels a pair of arms wrap around her waist and pulls her into a hug as Raven appears behind Summer through one of her portals.* Because I want the whole world to know you are my little rose. *Raven the turned Summer's face towards her to give her a kiss on the lips leaving her team leader speechless and proceeds to pick her up and carry her away.* We are going on a date don't wait up.
Wear a rubber.
Oh. My. God.
Wow... I mean, woooooooow.
This is just-! How does that even-! She wouldn't-!
Guys. Calm down. This mirror only shows alternate universe. None of this actually happened.
*Look at each other and at the same time open their mouths to say Raven and Summer DID sleep together once, only for Raven's sword to appear at their throats.* ... That's right./Yep. *Raven and her sword disappear*
Wanna hear something weird? I associate cheap plastic with nausea now, because when I was young my parents would buy me little toy purses/toys from our local flea market. They were just about the cheapest things to come out of China, and the plastic they were made with emitted this awful chemical odor in confined spaces. So, I would always end up getting sick on the drive home with the plastic thing in my lap. I used to think it was car sickness. Now I feel a bit sick when I see a bootleg.
Oh my god, I bought a baggie of these weird rubber duck things stamped China, and when I got home and opened them that very smell knocked me the fuck out. I threw most of them away because they smelled so funky. The couple that weren’t awful were aired out for junk boxes.
Liam’s emotions where a chaotic mess of bafflement, bitterness and indignation; you were the origin of the storm brewing in his lycan heart. Conscious thoughts clawing at the hint of a reason you were so distant, so cold. He pondered each word he’d uttered to you; directly and indirectly. He couldn’t recall causing a fragment of offense. Scott coaxed a subtle adorable smirk brightening the melancholy disposition surrounding your soft features, his cocoa flecked milk chocolate irises squint in delight as a lopsided grin of triumph crept across his supple mouth.
request: Could you do one of Mikey where he finds your sex toys for when he is on tour and uses them on you causing multiple orgasms and over sensitivity?
a/n: sorry if this isn’t super good <3333
word count: 1810
Michael had come back from tour a few days ago and he loved nothing more than to spend as much time with you as was physically possible. You cuddled, ate, talked, and went out together often. Today was one of those days where you didn’t even feel like leaving the house, and so you spent the majority of your day hanging out on your bed. You nuzzled into Michael’s chest as he had his arms wrapped around you, telling you more tour stories.
“And he got his finger stuck in her hair and I think I almost died laughing,” Michael snickered, causing you to let out a loud laugh.
“Oh, my god, when has Luke ever done something that wasn’t awkward?”
“I don’t know, he just gets worse every time,” he chuckled again. “Hey, babe, you have, like, lotion or something? My hands feel dry and it’s grossing me out.”
“Yeah, reach into my drawer and you’ll find some.”
Michael’s arms left you as he rolled over onto his side to open the drawer in your nightstand. You sat there peacefully until a pang of shock hit right through you as your eyes shot open.
“Wait, no!” You cried, rolling over quickly to find his fingers resting on the knob and pulling your drawer open.
In the spur of the moment, you had completely forgotten about the sex toys you had stowed away in that drawer. It wasn’t much—just a vibrator and a few different lubricants, but you didn’t want him to see that stuff anyway.