oh my forking god

anonymous asked:

Prepare yourself for this hatred!!! I BET YOU LOOK LIKE A BURNT FRENCH FRY BECAUSE YOURE PROBABLY CRISPY ON THE OUTSIDE AND TASTE HELLA GOOD ON THE INSIDE NEVErmind this is just weird I'm sorry </3

*dying of laughter* I love you guys

Nah man wait till summer when I’m forced to be outside and yeah I’ll be crispy and hurt a lot

And no I taste like iron and sadness and probably sugar because I eat way too much of it 


Nice try tho

Such A Joker (11/?)

Part 10 http://jeromesxreader16.tumblr.com/post/150657608587/such-a-joker-10

James POV:
I cut into the food that Lee cooked popping it into my mouth. “Oh my god.” I say savoring the amazing flavor. “Good?” Lee asks laughing. “Oh my god.” I say again laughing.

As we continue to eat Lee drops her fork. “Oh my god! I got it!” “Got what?” “The message! I think I know what it means! The iron sisters? It’s Arkham bridge! The iron sisters Arkham bridge! The towers are called Mary and Betty!” I nod my head and continue eating. “I remember as a kid we use to call them that.” “Right! And there’s a park under the towers on the Gotham side. A garden? It all fits!” She says getting excited.

I scoff. “Lee. It fits an impossible story. He didn’t speak with Lila Valeska. She’s dead.” “So you say!” I roll my eyes. “Come on you’re a doctor; a scientist!” “There are plenty of things in this world that can’t be explained by science.”

“Yeah people who enjoy folk dancing for instance. Doesn’t mean ghosts exist.” “You’re very arrogant in your certainty. This could be a clue to a murder. The poor women.”

I huff. “Fine. I’ll go with (y/n) tomorrow.” “Tomorrow?” “Now? You want me to go now?” “I’ll come with you.” “It’s dark.” “I have a flashlight.” She smiles at me with puppy dog eyes.

I sigh and stand up putting my coat on. “Oh call (y/n)! I’m sure she’d want to come!” I turn to her with a smile. “So you like her? She doesn’t give off any bad vibes?” Lee smiles. “From what I can tell she’s a smart, young, beautiful woman with a very handsome father.” She kisses my cheek as we walk out the door.

(Y/n) POV
I moan as Jerome kisses my neck and trails his hand up my thigh. My phone starts ringing taking me away from complete bliss. “Don’t answer it.” Jerome says into my skin. “I have to. What if it’s my dad?” I say and get up grabbing my phone. Indeed it was my father. “Hello?” I hear him sigh. “Hey sweetie. What are you doing?” “Uh just watching a movie. Why?” “Well Lee figured out the message and we’re on our way to the Arkham bridge. She wants you to come.” “Arkham bridge? Um yeah. I can make it. I’ll see you in a couple of minutes.” I hang up and turn around to see Jerome.

“I have to go.” “Why where?” “Arkham bridge. Mr Cicero came after everyone was leaving and gave us a riddle about Lila. Now I have to go to Arkham bridge for something.” Jerome grabs my hand quickly and pulls me to him placing his lips on my head. He hold me tight. “Jerome what’s this about? I won’t be gone long. I’ll be back.” I say placing my hands on his cheeks. “You’ll be back, but not to stay with me. You’ll be here to arrest me for the murder of my mother.” I drop my hands and stare at him. “The hatchet is down there isn’t it?” He nods and hugs me again.

“I love you (y/n). You don’t understand how much I love you. I’m so sorry. I-i should have been more careful. Oh god I’m gonna to lose you forever.” He sobs into my hair. I pull away again kissing him. “It’s okay. We’re gonna be okay. I’m going to do everything I can to help you.” Jerome just stares into my eyes. “I love you doll.” “I love you too J.”

I make my way to the Bridge and see my father along with Lee. “So where do we start?” I ask. “Down at the Garden. We make our way to where the weapon would’ve been tossed down from up here.” Dad explains as he shines his light around.

We make our way down to the bottom seeing the homeless campers around. “And what are we looking for exactly?” I ask. “Probably nothing. Jim thinks it’s a total waste of time. Thank you for doing this by the way.” Lee says patting my father on the arm.

“Let just not make a habit out of it. This is no place for a lady.” Lee looks at him. “Ha.” “What do you mean ha?” “You’re a hypocrite. You say you want a strong woman to share this crazy life with, but at the end of the day you just want me to sit back and bake you cookies.” Oh burn!

“Not necessarily cookies.” My father says. “He like pie better. He’ll eat any type of pie.” Lee turns to me and laughs. “Good to know.”

We come to the middle of the garden. “Well if someone were to throw something it would probably end up around here.” I say looking around to if I can spot anything, and maybe hide it better.

“Lee, (y/n).” My father says making me turn to him. In his hand he’s holding a bloody hatchet. “THFC? What’s that mean?” Lee asks out of pure confusion. “The hell fire club. They’re a satinets cult. On a string of ritual murders.” I say shiny my light over the weapon.

“They haven’t been active for a decade or more.” My father says the wheels in his head tutting. “Guess they’re back.” Lee says with sad eyes. “No I don’t think so.” Dad says and pulls out his phone. “Dad what are you doing?”

“Hey sarge I’m gonna need a couple noble units to pick some people up, but listen they need carful handling.” I gulp my lip quivering.

“(Y/n) meet us at the station. You’ll be helping me question Jerome.” “J-Jerome? Why you don’t actually think he could do something like this do you?” “And you don’t think that why not? The times don’t add up and he was very suspicious. You’re a great detective so why do you think differently?” My father stares at me and I look the other way. “(Y/n) do you have something to tell me?” I shake my head and turn around. “I’ll meet you at the station.”

I get in my car and bang my hands on the wheel. “DAMNIT!” I scream in anger.

There’s a way you two can stay together.

“What?” I ask out loud looking around my car for the voice.

Turn yourself in for the crime you two committed last year. If you tell them you can stay with him. That what’s you want. Isn’t it?

“Yes, but I-”

TELL THEM!

I gulp at the harsh voice in my head. “No. I-I can’t.” I drive and make my way to the station. I sit in my car preparing myself for what I’m about to see.

I step out to see two officers hold Jerome by both arms. I sigh and follow them. “I’ll take him in when it’s time. I’m questioning him with my father.” They nod and hand my boyfriend over.

Dirty Talk

Requested by anon: Dean x reader where Dean finds out the reader has a thing for dirty talk.

Word Count: 2500ish

Warning: smut, dirty talk 

“Oh, my God. Taste this.” Dean held out his fork to you, a bite of pie speared on the end. You took it, the taste of chocolate and pecans flooding your mouth. It was delicious. You moaned slightly around his fork, closing your eyes as you enjoyed the dessert.

“That is good.”         

Dean quirked an eyebrow and smirked. “I usually take a girl somewhere private before I get her to make those sounds.”

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