oh my bacon

had somebody tell me that “as much as I love animals, I wouldn’t be able to go vegetarian or even vegan that’s crazy!”
and what I heard was “I don’t care or respect animals bodies enough because my taste buds are more important.”

You can’t ‘love animals’ and eat them too.

Voltron as Alarm Clocks AU

How do I keep ending up doing these? I have learned way to much about alarm clocks in the past hour. 

Keith: The “Shoot to Shut it off Clock”

Pidge: The “Retro Cool Clock but a Pain in the Ass”

Lance: The “Just Slam the Damn thing” Clock

Hunk: The “Oh my God it makes Bacon” Alarm Clock

Shiro: The “Shiro is a ticking time bomb how much time do we have left with him if Shiro dies we riot, wheres Shiro oh my GOD” Clock

Allura: “The insults you till you get Out of Bed” Clock

Coran: “The Classic Annoying” Alarm Clock

This is the life I chose. Enjoy.

HuniePop Sentence Starters for all you sinners.
  • “Wow, okay. Could I get you to maybe take it down a notch? I’m right here.”
  • “Chill out for a second. You’ll be glad I showed up.”
  • “Oh my God, it’s worse than I thought, isn’t it?”
  • “I’d KILL to have tits like that!”
  • “Try not to be an ass for like…five minutes.”
  • “Thanks for the sex, homie!”
  • “It feels like I haven’t eaten anything in like a hundred and fifty years.”
  • "Is it weird that I like veggies so much?”
  • “What’s shakin’, bacon?”
  • “Oh my God, I could kiss you!”
  • “This is romantic as shit. Are you trying to seduce me?”
  • “That was a pussy drink! Hit me with something stronger!”
  • “What’s wrong? Seems like something’s bothering you.”
  • “Ohhhh, come on! Just try it on. It’s going to look sooooo cute.”
  • “You can’t keep all that boob to yourself, hun. It’s not fair to the rest of the world.”
  • “What’s cooking, good-looking?”
  • “You really are something else. You know that?”
  • “I have got to get something inside me. Food, I mean.”
  • “Let’s go win some stupid shit.”
  • “Can’t you just, like, chill out for once and, I don’t know, have fun?”
  • “What’s wrong!? Did I hurt your whore feelings?”
  • “Uhh, could you move please? You’re kind of in my way.”
  • “That’s fucking disgusting.”
  • “Okay, I’m here. So now what?”
  • “I literally cannot remember my name right now.” 
  • “Forgive me for saying this…but your body is straight bangin’.”
  • “Weakness? I’ve never heard of such a thing!”
  • “Fuck these birds, am I right?”
  • “Isn’t it funny how life is pointless and nothing matters?”
  • “That is a supremely nice set of tits. Ten outta ten!”
  • “What should we do about the fact that we’re desperately attracted to each other?”
  • “I just do whatever the magic fairy that follows me around tells me.”
  • “I need to pick up some condoms for our date tonight.”
  • “You look like you’d rather be anywhere else.”
  • “Flat chested girls make me sad.”
jimin; fallen for you (literally)

❝whoever who told you fallen angels were the best, were obviously fallen angels themselves (because they were liars… but maybe not jimin)
►2913 words // scenario, fallenangel!jimin
♡ one. @sinnamonleader​ is pure evil, this the receipt below as proof.
♡ two. @optosomnio​, i have no idea what this is but hey, look, jimin! like i promised! ;w;
© (photo credit)

You know how they portray fallen angels in movies, stories, folk tales, mysterious myths and everything else that would hit you flat in the face until you know about it? Yeah, cross all that shit out. Whoever who said that fallen angels were the best were obviously liars because they were fallen angels themselves. But okay, you give them the benefit of the doubt - that they got cast out of heaven with some reason that could possibly straighten out any ill thoughts you have about them and is now living as one… of you?

Okay, this was all too much to handle but to sum it all up, there was now a fallen angel in the confinement of a three-floor walkup that the second floor in one of the cheapest units that belonged to you, in the far end corner and at first you have absolutely no idea what to do.

Well, for starters, what do you do in the first place?

It’s not everyday you wake up to the crashing against your window, the fumbling that crawls over your balcony and to the smashed glass that allows the intruder into your bedroom - which was, by the way, the fallen angel. In a world where it was somewhat common? It still shook you to no end. The fear seeping into your system as you plot up one of the most horrifying scenes yet… it doesn’t come to mind when the white glow of feathers fade away and you’re left with, whatever’s left.

Keep reading

  • You: Here’s your gift. I hope you like it.
  • Friend: *unwraps gift* Oh. My. Gosh. Bacon! How did you know? Oh it’s perfect. Not too chewy, not too crispy. You really didn’t have to do this. Seriously. I'm stunned. Now open yours!
  • You: *unwraps gift*
  • Friend: What do you think?
  • You: Um…I think it looks an awful lot like the engraved iPod I gave you in 2004…
  • Friend: I really love the bacon!
  • You: Yeah, see how it says your name right here? And also that it's an iPod from 2004?
  • Friend: Merry Christmas gotta go love you bye!
PART 21 - “THE LOFT”

The Loft

START READING HERE

http://teachergilinsky.tumblr.com/post/110020115987/prologue-the-loft-magcon-fanfic

PART 21

I slept so well last night after everything that happened, I was exhausted. I woke up to the soundof knocking at my door before the boys barged in quietly.

They start singing happy birthday to me as I arose in mybed.

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you-“ they sang while holding a tray full of food for me.

I could hear the water from outside the house, and the wind blew through my window, letting the perfect clear air come in.

After finishing the song, Gilinsky set the tray on my lap.

“Breakfast in bed for the princess’ birthday!” Shawn said in an excited voice.

I yawned and rubbed my eyes; “Thank you guys so much, seriously the best.”

I looked down at the tray that had all my favorite food on it, chocolate chip pancakes, perfectly browned hash browns, orange juice without pulp, fresh raspberries topped with sugar, and bacon.

“Oh my gosh,” I say before reaching for the fork and syrup to dig in.

“Where are you guys’ breakfast?” I ask them.

They laugh and then Cam says, “We already ate, babe. It’s noon. Either way, today is completely about you- more than usual.”

I start giggling and the boys continue to laugh.

After they all take a seat, some sitting on my bed with me, or on the bench, or even on the floor, I continued eating and thanking them separately for the birthday wishes.

I finished eating and got out of bed, going to my tote to see what I should wear. As I unzipped the bag, I spoke aloud for everyone in the room to hear,

“What’s the plan for today? Like, what do I wear?”

Gilinsky laughed and decided to speak for all of them,  “You know we like surprising you, just wear the bathing suit we bought you – in the VS bag – and put on something over it.”

I nodded and walked over to the VS shopping bag. While walking over there, I stepped on a piece of ripped black lace from last night.

The boys and I see pieces of lace sprawled out across the floor, and we burst out laughing.

I love that about them, we can joke about anything.

After getting clothes and such, I go to the bathroom to change. I put on my pink VS bathing suit, and a white laced romper as a cover up.

Gilinsky packed for me, and I’m honestly so impressed; especially because the boy can barely dress himself.

I finish getting ready after combing my hair and leaving it down, not putting on any makeup considering I’ll end up in the water anyways. I walk out of the bathroom to them waiting for me. We leave my room and go to the living room and then leave the hut.

When we step foot out the door, we are greeted with two girls who are nearly drooling over the boys.

Of course.

“Good morning! Hope you all slept well. We have the instructors waiting for you at the dock!”

The other interrupts to say, “If you need anything, let us know,” while reaching for Jack’s arm before they leave.

We all walk down the pier and down to the docks. We see two boys that are next to jet skis, kayaks, paddleboards, surfboards, and other water supplies.

“Welcome, ready to have some fun today?” they say in a peppy voice, looking up from their equipment.

The boy’s eyes travel over to me and widen. One of the boys tilt their head back up and down, giving me a nod, and say, “Are you the beautiful birthday girl, (Y/N) that we’ve been hearing about?”

I see all the guys give him a glare, and feel Gilinsky wrapping his arm around my lower back, bringing me closer to him.

I whisper in his ear, “Don’t get jealous.”

The shirtless boys wait for my response, “Yes, it’s my birthday.”

I blush and the boys tell me happy birthday. After thanking them, they begin telling us why we are here.

“Okay, well for starters; I’m Austin, and this is Isaac,” the boy who asked me if it was my birthday said, pointing to the boy next to him.

Isaac goes on to say, “So you guys have the resort waters to yourselves today, everyone else has gone to maintown. You can ride the kiyaks, canoes, paddle boats-those are for two-, anything we have, you can use.”

“We also do lessons,” Austin says before winking at me.

Matthew comes and stands closer to me, “We don’t need lessons, thanks anyway.”

Austin replies to him, “Wasn’t talking to you anyways, bro.”

Matt gets closer to him, with threatening eyes.

“Matt, stop,” I say to him, pulling him back.

Great, let the protection and jealousy begin.

I take off my romper and the boys take off their shirts, leaving them in their swim trunks.

After we’re all ready, the boys make me put on a life jacket even though they don’t have to wear them.

“Unfair-“ I mumble, they tell me to hush.

The water below us is the clearest water I’ve ever seen; I can see tiny and big fish of all colors swimming beneath the dock.

The light tealish-blue water barely is barely moving when I jump onto a floating jet ski by myself.

“Who’s coming with?” I say giggly.

The boys all look at Gilinsky, knowing he won last night so he deserves it.
He walks up the edge of the wooden dock with pride and smirks at the boys, jumping on the jet ski in front of me so he can drive it.

I see the other boys splitting up on different water equipment, still being a little tense with the instructors.

Gilinsky tells me, “Hold on tight, babygirl.”

He starts the jet ski as I wrap my hands around, hooking them together in front of his tight stomach.

He turns the handle and speeds the jet ski across the water, jerking me back making me laugh.

My hair flows back through the cool air as I smell the salt water, making a smile appear on my face.

Water splashes in my face, making my hair damp.

He speeds up even more, hitting waves, throwing us in the air repeatedly.

“Having fun, babygirl?” He yells over the crashing waves we caused as he drives back to the dock.

I laugh hysterically, “Duh!”

We slow down, arriving to the dock. He takes the keys out after stopping and gets up first, helping me up after.

He kisses my cheek, “You’re so cute, happy birthday.”

I blush, “Thanks, Jack. I-“ I get interrupted by the flirty instructor, Austin,

“Hey, you know.. we have a carnival going on right now in town. You should let me take you there, babe.”

Is he really asking me this in front of the guys? Is he dumb?

I stutter, not knowing what to say when Giinsky steps in and says, “She’s not interested, bro. Take the hint.
“Let her speak for herself. What do you want to do, (Y/N)?”

I get nervous, not knowing what to say. Of course I don’t want to go out with him. I also can’t. It’s against the rules.

Jack knows how I get around new people; my anxiety goes up the fucking wall.

“Uhh.. I don’t-I don’t really-“ I try to get out before Matthew comes to the dock, soaking wet from surfing.

He stands on the other side of me, holding my hand, “She doesn’t want to. Let it go.”

Austin annoyingly says again, “Let her fucking talk for herself, assholes.”

Gilinsky and Matthew look at each other, like they want to beat the shit out of the instructor.

The boys feel me shaking and getting nervous, they stay close to me.

Jack says, “You’re making her uncomfortable. Shut the hell up and stop asking.”
Austin tries to say something again, but Matt lets go of my hand and pushes him into the water.

Hovering over the deck looking at Austin in the water cursing at him, “Should’ve taken the hint, bro,” Matt tells him.

They both check on me to make sure I’m okay, and calm me back down.

The rest of the boys come back over to us and ask me what I want to do,

“Let’s go to the carnival!” I say sounding like a five year old.

They laugh at me, and agree to going.

We get in a car that the girls called for us, and ride to the main town.

When we arrive, I automatically jump on Cameron’s back and we all walk to the cotton candy machine.

I pick out the blue and pink cotton candy, and the boys pay for it. They take me on rides, and win me lots of stuffed animals - knowing that I’ll never be able to have enough.

While all the boys continue to spoil me all day, we see the sun start to go down.

We leave the carnival and head back to the resort.

Once we reach the hut, Nash says to me, “Hey, I’m sure G packed you something nice, go put it on and be ready in a few. We’re going to dinner.”

“Alrighty, I’ll be out soon,” I say, going into my bedroom.

I look in my tote, and see a small white dress. Nothing too fancy, very casual. I see some brown wedges to match.

I put the outfit on and put some spray in my hair to make it look decent considering I just got out of the ocean, recently. I put on a small amount of mascara and tinted chapstick and walk out my door to see the boys waiting in button ups and khaki shorts.

“Ready?” I ask.

They all nod, motioning me out the door.

We head back into town and they tell the driver where to go.
We come to a restaurant on the water, and go up to the hostess.
I hear Johnson tell her, “We made a reservation, it’s under (Y/N).”

The girl nods and walks us past many people enjoying their dinner, this place is nice.

We come to a table on the deck, with no one else here. Gilinsky pulls out a chair on one end of a long table, giving me the best seat so I can see all of them.

Of course, Matt and Jack sit next to me, as always.

The boys order for me, and get us alcohol.

“How do they not know we’re underage?” I ask, sipping on a mixed fruity drink.

“They don’t care enough, this isn’t America, plus the waitress is hitting on us anyways,” Aaron says while laughing.

I nod, agreeing to what he mentioned.

After having separate conversations, Shawn coughs trying to get everyone’s attention.
We all quiet down and wait for him to talk.

“So, (Y/N), we obviously love you to death and all wish you a happy birthday. And we all want nothing but the best for you. We’ll always provide the best for you.”

I blush, looking down.

“This weekend is just to show how much we love and appreciate you,” Nate puts in.

“I love you guys, seriously. I couldn’t even think of asking for better,” I say glancing at all of them.

The food comes out and we dig in, it’s got to be the most delicious meal I’ve consumed.

I ate Salmon with asparagus and rice, and desert came as well; a large brownie with fudge and ice cream on top.

After dinner was finished, the boys paid the bill and we left.

We left the restaurant and got back into the limo waiting. We turn on music and jam out, yelling the words to our favorite songs from growing up as we’re crossing the bridge back to the huts.

I feel the car shake, hitting the edge of the bridge. It turns over, falling off the bridge completely, making the boys shift to my side.

We hit the water and all panic, trying to find a way out. When the boys manage to kick the windows, shattering the glass, letting the water in.

I lose my consciousness, feeling water seep into my airways.

I can’t breathe.

 - - - - - - - - - - - - -

PART 22

A/N: plot twist, once again, whoops sry not sry

anyways, send your lovely feedback, let me know to continue bc i don’t want to continue if you guys don’t enjoy reading it still. sry for the late update, i’ve been busy on spring break. :( love you guys so much though! thanks a ton for 4.4k!

-tm