oh man this picture is so old


I’m very much a jeans, t-shirt, tennis shoes, sunscreen, lip balm, just wash-and-go kind of a person. I think there are definitely parts of this business that pressure you to always be put together. Especially when people are constantly like, ‘Can I get a picture with you?’ And you’re like, ‘Oh, man. I look like a twelve-year-old boy right now. Great. Yeah, let’s get a picture.’ I don’t know, I can’t be bothered with it most of the time. But it is fun to do things like this photo shoot and red carpet events, where you feel so glamorous and you feel so girly and that’s nice. But yeah, I have mostly t-shirts in my closet.


I’m very much a jeans, t-shirt, tennis shoes, sunscreen, lip balm, just wash-and-go kind of a person. I think there are definitely parts of this business that pressure you to always be put together. Especially when people are constantly like, ‘Can I get a picture with you?’ And you’re like, ‘Oh, man. I look like a twelve-year-old boy right now. Great. Yeah, let’s get a picture.’ I don’t know, I can’t be bothered with it most of the time. But it is fun to do things like this photo shoot and red carpet events, where you feel so glamorous and you feel so girly and that’s nice. But yeah, I have mostly t-shirts in my closet.

lance is adhd this is canon

  • the reason he’s a jack of all trades is because he always loses interest in hobbies and moves onto new things all the time
  • he stims by dancing. yes, really. but they’re just little happy dances, and sometimes it’s just bouncing up and down. he’s always been a little self conscious about it, but hunk helped him open up about it by dancing with him and now he loves it!!!!
  • he hates being lightly touched or brushed up against. please don’t do that it’s a Bad Thing
  • but hugs???? hugs are good. give him all the hugs. every last one of them
  • lance pulls up his hood whenever he’s experiencing sensory overload. it gives him a sense of safety, blocks the light, and makes noises more bearable
  • he knows what he’s doing 100% of the time when he’s paying attention, which is only 20% of the time
  • he initially stole pidge’s phone so that when the rsd hits and he wants to Fucking Die, he can look at old pictures of family and friends to remind him that he’s loved and appreciated. it always makes him feel better!
  • lance: who dares me to eat this probably-toxic-and-deadly space bug
    pidge: literally no one
    lance, already putting the bug in his mouth: oh man i can’t believe you guys are making me do this
  • the brain fog hits at the most inconvenient times. he’ll be sparring and whoops, sorry, lance.exe has stopped working
  • sometimes the brain fog hits right after eating and his only thought, played on a never-ending loop, is just “did the space goo make me high???

I’m very much a jeans, t-shirt, tennis shoes, sunscreen, lip balm, just wash-and-go kind of a person. I think there are definitely parts of this business that pressure you to always be put together. Especially when people are constantly like, ‘Can I get a picture with you?’ And you’re like, ‘Oh, man. I look like a twelve-year-old boy right now. Great. Yeah, let’s get a picture.’ I don’t know, I can’t be bothered with it most of the time. But it is fun to do things like this photo shoot and red carpet events, where you feel so glamorous and you feel so girly and that’s nice. But yeah, I have mostly t-shirts in my closet.

Fun fair with the Family - Batmom x Batfam (REPOST please READ the explanation right under the summary :-( )

Summary : Batmom decides to take her family to the fun fair…She quickly realizes it might not be her best idea ever.

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

Repost because, and this time I really don’t know how, the original post got erased…BUT I had it backed up for once. So here. FUCK. Hum. Sorry. But it had almost 100 notes, and comment people left I didn’t even had time to read because the story simply disappeared…I’m a bit bummed out right now…Is it too much to ask if you could like, reblog and comment again ? I kinda feel bad, it’s not my style to ask those things…I’m so sorry for that, but it’s a bit discouraging, to write something, and to see that apparently it was liked, but to not know who liked it, what were the comments etc etc, especially since this time, I didn’t do anything, the story simply disappeared…Anyway, hope you’ll enjoy, and re-enjoy if you already read it :’-(


Not even an hour in, and you know you made a huge mistake bringing them here. All at the same time. They were going to be the death of you, so much energy…But it was just so rare that you all had some free times at once…You just wanted to spend some time with them.

It all started so well though.


You woke up in the best way possible : with your Bruce’s lips trailing kisses on your neck, shoulders and back, his arms wrapped around you. You shifted around, and before you could say anything, he kissed your temple, the corner of your mouth, slowly putting butterfly kisses on your face, to finally kiss you on the lips.

You melted in the kiss, and squeezed his large frame against you, your arms struggling to wrap around him. Damn that man was big. When he pulls away, you can’t help but grin at him, and he gives you the smile he only reserved to you. A real, pure smile. You nuzzle his neck, and he let out a contended sigh.

-You’re alright ?

-More than alright my love, as always when you’re here.

-My sweet Broosh. You know what I mean.

-I am alright. Not even a single bruise or scratch. The boys are too. Calm night.

-I like those.

-I like you.

-I love you.

-Oh yeah, that too. I love you (Y/N).

-Well, here’s for our morning’s cheesy ritual…We probably should get up.

-I have the entire day off.

-Oh ? Well then, what’s the hurry right ?

He smiles once more at you, and you crash your lips on his, climbing on him to straddle him. One of his hand tangles itself in your (H/L) (H/C) hair, the other goes to your waist and his grip is almost bruising. He cannot stop himself, you always had a strong and immediate effect on him…He rolls on top of you, and you wrap your arms around his neck, your legs around his waist.

-What’s the hurry indeed.

Keep reading

soulmate! Dino

anon asked:  I absolutely adore your svt soulmate series, I literally just read all of them. Do you think I could request a Dino soulmate au?? Thank you!

@cnjk9799 asked:  Can I request for Chan’s Soulmate AU please? Thank you in advancee💕💕

a/n; thank you so much! and your welcome :) i hope you enjoy

recap: in which the temperature gets hotter the nearer they are, and colder when that are farther away, but when you meet you it stops

  • you’ve spent your entire life feeling cold 
  • no not in some sad depressing way, like actually north pole cold 
  • after a trip to the doctor after you continuously complained to your mom you felt colder than the ice cream you ate 
  • the doctor simply said, “she must have the hot/cold soulmate condition, the only thing i can recommend is going to the library" 
  • and so you did, and with your bright young mind, aka the detailed map laid out in the book 
  • figured out if you were here, on the opposite side of the world was Asia
  • but man Asia equals money and you can barely pay off your car and eat food without worrying about college tuition 
  • when you felt happiest was definitely the occasional moments where you weren’t a popsicle and felt just a tiny bit more warm 
  • they usually didn’t last long though 
  • but your imagination ran wild 
  • like is your soulmate some rich kid that travels everywhere 
  • or like an old business man??? 
  • oh well 
  • but recently, you’ve felt the warmest you’ve ever felt, and you hope your soulmate was as excited as you were 
  • so with all the money you’ve save up 
  • you took a trip to the place you’ve decided on since you were young 
  • south korea 
  • it just felt right 
  • you even picked up the language, you were so prepared 
  • and when you land, and stare at the streets in your taxi 
  • it looks even prettier than all the pictures your kid self was drawn too 
  • well kid you was smart as fluff bc you’ve never felt hotter in your life 
  • i mean at least it’s summer so when you decide to explore the streets of seoul in minimal clothing, 
  • you dont get many stares 
  • after you get the well wanted street food, you head to the convince store for simple groceries 
  • your heart beats so noticeably faster as you feel as if you have a fever
  • walking into the store the first thing you do is head to the ice cream, hopelessly thinking it’ll cool you down 
  • picking between two flavors you hear,
  • “hyung i cant eat ramen right now, i feel like im on fire" 
  • "aigoo okay let’s get you some ice cream then”
  • “but hyung do you think my soulmate-?" 
  • you grip your own ice cream in shock 
  • "hello?” you call, nervously 
  • the guy, he was talking about soulmates, and he was on fire so like?!?!
  • you peak your head into the other aisle and walk slowly as 13 boys come in sight 
  • you eyes meet to who you just know 
  • and the first thing you blurt out is 
  • “is this was normal people feel like???" 
  • immediately he and the others laugh, making you blush, want to pound your head against the wall, and laugh with them 
  • he grins and shyly walks up to you after glaring at one of his friends who wolf-whistled 
  • "lee chan, but my stage name is dino" 
  • "y/n l/n, sadly i don’t have a stage name but yours sounds cool" 
  • you both whip your heads around when hearing 
  • "hajima” Chan says trying to hit some of the boys on the arm 
  • the svt boys drag you and Chan back to their dance studio, not letting the two of you get in a word edgewise 
  • “how old are you?" 
  • “you can call me oppa then" 
  • “chan’s an aegi" 
  • “which makes you our aegi”
  • once you all reach the practice room, chan grabs your arm running into the dance room, locking it with svt shouting from behind the door 
  • chan and you sit in the middle of the floor exhausted and laughing 
  • you both hear svt loudly walking away 
  • “you’re both dead later, Chan!" 
  • "the maknae has sense" 
  • "I lost another dongsaeng today." 
  • you and chan laugh and you look around the studio 
  • “you must be an incredible dancer" 
  • you say staring at the wall of mirrors before you 
  • “yea do you want to see the choreo I’m working on?" 
  • "Sure" 
  • he clicks play on the track player in the corner 
  • you watched amazed at the knife like choreo 
  • he finishes and reaches his hand out to pull you up 
  • "oh I can’t dance!" 
  • "that’s ok, all you have to do is feel the music" 
  • you try a few steps with chan’s hand still in yours 
  • you’re both laughing and enjoying the music 
  • and then you trip over your own feet and end up falling 
  • pulling chan right along with you 
  • and although you both fall onto the ground next to each other inches away 
  • you both burst out in giggles 
  • you’re surprised but happy as he pulls you into a hug while still laying on the ground 
  • "I’m glad I met you" 
  • “I’m glad to have met you too, soulmate." 
  • you’re both looking into each other’s eyes while laying on the ground 
  • a loud knock jolts the both of you up into sitting positions 

Originally posted by wonnhao

The Seventeen Soulmate AU series:

|| Seungcheol / Pt. 2 || Jeonghan / Pt. 2 || Joshua / Pt.2 || Jun / Pt.2 || Hoshi / Pt.2 || Wonwoo || Woozi / Pt.2 || Seokmin / Pt.2 || Mingyu / Pt.2 || Minghao || Seungkwan || Vernon / Pt.2 || Dino ||


~ admin seri

anonymous asked:

MSR prompt: M&S get caught being intimate at Maggie's house by Bill Jr.

You wanted it (as did half my inbox), you got it! I hope you like it, this turned out waaaaay longer than I anticipated. I apologize, I’m not that great at writing smut, but here we go. 

Caught in the Act (NSFW)

Scully glanced over at her partner, smirking to herself as she took in his comatose state, snoring lightly on her mom’s patterned sofa. The events of the past week, the two FBI agents traipsing across the country on yet another case, had clearly taken their toll on Mulder, and he’d drifted off once they’d settled on the couch, not long after enjoying Maggie’s renowned Sunday lunch. Usually he had no qualms with visiting Scully’s mother on the weekend, but this time it was different, it was an entire family gathering. Bill, Tara and Matthew were in town to celebrate the Easter weekend, and for once Charlie, his wife Claire and their two sons Jason and Mark had joined them. And not only was it the first time that Mulder had met Charlie, it was the first time he was coming face to face with Bill since he and Scully had become a couple. It was no secret that Bill hated Mulder; that had been particularly evident at Christmas, when Scully had invited her partner to her mom’s for the day, and the two of them had later experienced their first kiss beneath the mistletoe. But despite the fact that Mulder and Scully were now officially a couple, Bill’s attitude still hadn’t softened towards his sister’s partner. So far he’d been civil, but was lacking any warmth, however the opposite could be said for Tara and Charlie and his family. Though Mulder had only met Tara a handful of times, mostly under sad circumstances, she was always polite and friendly towards him, sensing how important he was to Scully. She seemed pleased that their relationship had developed and was happy that her sister-in-law was happy. And Charlie, well he was the complete opposite to his brother – laid back and friendly with a great – and sometimes sick – sense of humor. Mulder immediately took a liking to him, and the feeling was mutual.

Considering he’d been reluctant to attend a Scully family gathering, Mulder had soon stopped sulking once lunch was served, and even Bill managed to chill out as they all ate. Once dessert had been served, the family retreated to the living room while Bill and Charlie – nominated by the Scully women – started work on the dishes and Maggie observed, taking time to catch up with her sons. Meanwhile Mulder had promptly fallen asleep while the adults talked and the children played with Matty’s new trainset.

“I’m taking it as a compliment that Fox has fallen asleep on us,” said Maggie as she entered the living room, giving Mulder a fond look. It appeared the dishes were now done.

“Please do mom,” said Scully, sitting next to her partner. “You know how much he loves your cooking.”

Bill scoffed from the doorway, a towel in his hands. “It’s a convenient time to take a nap, just as we’re doing the dishes.”

“Fox does the dishes every Sunday,” Maggie argued. “It’s about time he got some rest.”

“You been keeping him up all night Danes?” Charlie asked with a smug smile, coming to a stop just behind his older brother. Bill turned and glared, flicking his brother with the towel. “Don’t be so crass Charlie.”

“What? I didn’t say anything. Mulder and Dana work long hours, that’s what I mean.”

“Yeah, of course you did.”

“Lighten up Big Brother. Anyone would think you didn’t get any.”


“Get any what dad?” Asked Jason from his position on the floor. That shut Charlie up.


Maggie smiled, bemused at the conversation. “Dana, if Fox wants to sleep he can go upstairs.”

“I thought today was supposed to be a family day,” Bill protested. In response Tara glared at her husband.

“You’ve changed your tune considering you spend all your time stating that Mulder isn’t part of the family,” Scully shot back, unable to stop herself.

“Now now,” Maggie interrupted, well aware of how easily disagreements between her children could escalate. “Please be nice to one another. It’s been a lovely day so far.”

“Sorry mom,” Bill and Scully said in unison. “I’ll send Mulder upstairs,” Scully continued. “We didn’t get back from Alabama until late last night.

“You’re not sleeping,” Bill said pointedly.

“Mulder has difficulty sleeping at the best of times,” she argued, before sighing heavily and shaking her head. She wasn’t going to get into this.

Taking the hint, Bill returned to the remaining dishes, leaving Scully to wake her partner and point him in the direction of the spare room upstairs.


Mulder stirred as he felt the mattress dip, and a hot body curl up against him. “Mmm?”

“Hi.” Scully snaked an arm over his torso, burying her head in Mulder’s neck, pressing light kisses against his skin. Suddenly he was becoming more awake. “How did you sleep?”

“Good,” he murmured, shifting in the bed. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”

“I know. At first I thought you were pretending to get out of talking to Bill, but you didn’t stir when Mom mentioned leftovers so I knew you were really out for the count.”

“I was tired.”

“I noticed,” she replied, leaving his neck momentarily to kiss his mouth.

“Bill won’t like this,” said Mulder when their lips parted, moving his right hand down to the small of her back, holding her in place.

“Bill’s not here.”

“He’s gone already?”

Scully smiled at the hope in her partner’s voice. “He’s gone for a walk.”

“Off a short pier?”

“Now now.”

“Sorry.” He didn’t sound particularly sorry.

“They’ve all gone out to walk off lunch. The kids had cabin fever and were driving everyone mad.”

“Everyone’s gone out?”


“You didn’t want to go?”

“No, I had a headache.”

“You do?” Mulder propped himself up on his elbow, studying his partner. “Are you ok?” He moved his hand up to Scully’s forehead, trying to feel whether she had a fever. She batted him away.

“I’m fine.”

“Your headache has gone?”

“I never had a headache.”

Sleepy Mulder looked adorably confused. “You’re losing me here.”

“I never had a headache,” Scully repeated slowly, her lips reattaching themselves to Mulder’s neck. “I thought we could have some alone time.”

Suddenly he caught on, his body beginning to respond. “Oh really.”

“It’s been a long week. I missed you in my bed. The house is empty Mulder. There’s no one here except you and I…”

“Here all alone in your teenage bed.”

“Not my teenage bed.”

“Sssh…don’t ruin the picture I have in my mind.”

“You’re a dirty old man.”

“And you love it.”

In response Scully trailed her hand down Mulder’s torso and down to his pants, slowly loosening his belt. His jeans suddenly felt a little tighter as his cock began to harden in anticipation. “So, we’re all alone in this big old bed of yours.”

“We are.” The belt now unbuckled, Scully began work on unbuttoning Mulder’s shirt.

“What shall we do?”

“Well, I guess we could nap.” She flicked her tongue at his nipple, smiling as he shivered.

“We could, although I’ve napped already and I’m not particularly tired.”

“That’s a shame. I guess we’ll have to think of something else to do.” Her hand moved down once more towards his zipper. She looked down, licking her lips subconsciously as she saw the bulge in his pants, all for her.

Mulder’s eyes darted over towards the closed door. “Are you sure this is safe? What if they come back?”

“They won’t come back for a while. Matty is into everything right now, it’ll take them an hour to even get around the block.”

“What if they change their minds and come back?”

“They won’t come back until the kids have worked off some of their energy.” Scully kissed her partner, moaning as Mulder’s tongue entered her mouth, his hand moving to palm her ass. “I think it’s about time we worked off some of our own energy.”

She shifted, taking the opportunity to remove her sweater, slowly evening the score, while Mulder’s eyes darted over towards the bedroom door. “Should we lock it?”

His partner kept her gaze on him as she unhooked her bra, her breasts spilling free. Next she reached into Mulder’s pants, wrapped her hand around his cock and slowly began to stroke him. “We’re fine,” she stressed. “It’s locked.”

“It is?”

Scully said nothing, instead scooting down the bed to carefully divest Mulder of his pants and boxer shorts. “Normally you don’t have any reservations about getting naked.”

“Normally your brother is safely on the other side of the…fuuuuck.” Mulder’s head fell back onto the pillow as Scully licked his cock from root to tip.

“Don’t you want to fuck me in my teenage bed?” she asked, batting her eyelashes at him.  

Groaning, Mulder nodded. “I do,” he hissed as she took him into her mouth, working him in earnest. “I really really do.” Scully’s free hand moved up to caress his balls as her lips moved up and down his shaft. “Oh god, I’m not going to last if you keep this up.” She quickened her pace in response. “Scully please?”

“What?” Her voice vibrated around his cock.


“Why?” She was smirking now, playing with him in more ways than one.


“I can’t hear you,” she taunted, swirling her tongue around the tip of his cock. He was about to explode in her mouth.


Finally pulling away, just in time, Scully crawled back up Mulder’s body, looking pretty fucking smug with herself.

“You’re such a tease,” he said, flipping them both over so that Scully was now on her back. “Bad girl.”

“You love it when I’m a bad girl.”

“You’re overdressed too,” he added, making quick work of her jeans and panties. He paused momentarily, debating whether to go down on her, but he was already pretty worked up and so quickly tested the waters by slipping a finger into her pussy, finding her warm, wet and ready. Seconds later he was slipping his cock into her heat, groaning at the sensation. “Fuck Scully.”

“Move!” she ordered, slapping his ass cheek.

“I’m not going to last long.”

“Me either. But I need you to move!”

Not one to disobey her, Mulder began moving his cock in and out of her, then quickened the pace. They were both so absorbed in the moment, in the ecstasy, that neither of them heard footsteps ascending the stairs, or the door handle turning. They didn’t realize anyone was there until –

“What the fuck?”


Mulder quickly withdrew from his partner, hurriedly attempting to cover their modesty with the comforter as Bill stood in the doorway, his face flushed and his eyes boring into them. This was bad. Really bad.

“Bill! Can’t you knock?”

“I thought you had a headache?” Closing his eyes, Bill spun round, facing the wall as Scully scrambled for her clothes. “I can’t believe you two. This is supposed to be a family day Dana, and instead you guys are doing this? That’s low Dana, even for you.”

“Hey!” Mulder snapped, pulling on his jeans and standing up, searching for his shirt. “That’s out of line.”

“I’m out of line?” Bill turned to face them once again, his expression still furious. “I’m not the one sneaking off with him and doing this!” He sighed. “I came back because I forgot Matty’s raincoat and thought I’d check you were ok while I was here. I wish I hadn’t bothered. I’m going now, but I swear to god if we come back and the kids see you –”

“They won’t,” Scully, now fully dressed, promised, Mulder murmuring in agreement. “But you’re not going to tell Mom?”

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t?”


“She thinks the sun shines out of his ass,” he yelled, pointing at Mulder. “It’s about time she found out what he’s really like.”

“What?” Scully shook her head, placing her hands on her hips. She meant business now. “This isn’t Mulder’s fault. It was my idea.”

“Oh come off it.”

“What? You think I don’t like sex?”


“No, I’m telling you Bill, I initiated it. I lied to you, came upstairs, woke Mulder up and initiated sex. If you want to tell Mom that, go ahead, but leave Mulder out of it. And just remember the time that Mom AND Dad found you and Tara together in the living room. You weren’t quite so high and mighty back then.”

She had him there. His face flushing, Bill immediately scowled in Mulder’s direction, as though daring him to say something. He didn’t.

“You’re just angry because you’ve got a problem with Mulder, but he’s family,” she continued, her tone of voice signalling that she didn’t want any arguments. “So get over it. Now Mulder and I will meet you downstairs and join you on your walk. And I’d suggest you don’t say anything to Mom, unless you want me to tell her what Missy found in your bedroom that time.” Bill’s eyes widened, and Mulder made a mental note to question his partner further when they were alone.

“Fine,” he spat. “But you two are doing the dishes for the rest of the weekend.”

Scully looked as though she was about to protest, but Mulder interrupted. “Deal.”

“Fine.” Throwing one final disgusted look at the pair of them, Bill moved to head back out of the door. “Two minutes.”

“Five,” Scully countered.

He sneered in Mulder’s direction. “I wouldn’t think he needs five.”

“Bill!” But he was gone.

“Wait, did your brother just make a sex dig at me?” Mulder asked, sitting back down on the bed. “I feel like I’m in the weirdest dream ever.”

“I wish this was a dream.” Walking over towards her partner, Scully perched on his knee. “I can’t believe that just happened.”

“I know. I’m traumatised Scully. Your brother’s face is the last thing anyone wants to see when they’re having sex. No offence to Tara.”

“I’m sure she agrees sometimes,” Scully said, chuckling to herself, before the memory of her brother walking in and catching them in the act came flooding back. “Oh god, I’m so sorry. It’s my fault.”

“I’m equally to blame. I am irresistible.”

“He’s never going to let us live it down.”

“Dana!” Bill’s voice sounded out from downstairs.

“C’mon,” said Mulder, pecking his partner on the lips. “We’d better go before he comes back up.” They both stood to head downstairs. “Oh and Scully? If we stay here again, we’re getting that damn lock fixed.”


WARNING: spoilers below. may/may not be triggering/offensive mentions of political views, race, smoking, mild threats and disturbing physiological statements. 

  • ❝ I mean, I told you not to go in that house. ❞
  • ❝ How you find me? ❞
  • ❝ We handle shit. That’s what we do. ❞
  • ❝ Consider this situation… fuckin’ handled. ❞
  • ❝ Man, I told you not to go in that house. ❞
  • ❝ I would have voted for Obama for a third term. ❞  
  • ❝ Now you’re in the sunken place. ❞  
  • ❝ This bitch is crazy. Bitch is crazy. ❞  
  • ❝ I want those things you see through. ❞  
  • ❝ I want your eyes, man/woman. ❞  
  • ❝ You know what I say? ❞  
  • ❝ I say one down, a couple hundred thousand to go. ❞  
  • ❝ We might know more than y'all sometimes. ❞  
  • ❝ And see this is what I came up with. ❞
  • ❝ What’s the next move? ❞  
  •  ❝ So look I, I go do my… my detective work, right? ❞  
  • ❝ I start putting pieces together. ❞  
  • ❝ Don’t ever, ever say that I don’t do nothing anymore.  ❞
  • ❝ Oh white girls… they get you every time. ❞  
  • ❝ You know I can’t give you the keys, babe. ❞  
  • ❝ I didn’t use to dress like this. ❞  
  • ❝ That would explain the clothes… Alright.  ❞ 
  • ❝ Bruh how you not scared of this man/woman? ❞  
  • ❝ I’m pretty sure they are not a kinky sex family dawg. ❞
  • ❝ I don’t know if you noticed. ❞
  • ❝ White people love making people sex slaves and shit. 
  • ❝ They have you bleeping barking like a dog. ❞
  • ❝ You were one of my favorites. ❞  
  • ❝ I ain’t never seen you like this before, bro. ❞  
  • ❝ The mind is a terrible thing to waste. 
  • ❝ When they died, I couldn’t bare to let them go. ❞
  • ❝ If there’s too many white people, I get nervous. ❞
  • ❝ Just give me the keys! ❞  
  • ❝ I don’t know where they are. ❞
  • ❝ So are you guys coming up from the city? ❞  
  • ❝ Can I see your license please? ❞  
  • ❝ Do you smoke in front of my daughter/son? ❞  
  • ❝ I’m going to quit.  ❞
  • ❝ Have you got your toothbrush? ❞  
  • ❝ Do you have your computer? ❞
  • ❝ You might want to, you know. ❞  
  • ❝ Do they know I’m black?  ❞
  • ❝ I’m going to hug you, my man. 
  • ❝ Are you ready for this? ❞
  • ❝ So, how long has this been going on, this.. this thing? ❞
  • ❝ Get out! Get out! Get out of here! Get the fuck out of here! ❞
  • ❝ No, no no no no, don’t do it. Just fucking go. ❞
  • ❝ I’m so sorry. It’s me. I.. I love you. ❞
  • ❝ So you’re comfortable enough, right? ❞
  • ❝ You wanna know how it works? ❞
  • ❝ What is your purpose in life? ❞
  • ❝ Fuck this, I’m just going the other way, not today. ❞
  • ❝ You know how they like to do motherfuckers out here, I’m gone. ❞
  • ❝ This motherfucker hung up on me. ❞
  • ❝ Oh man, it begins. Are you ready for this? ❞
  • ❝ Just smile. Yeah, there you go, there it is. ❞
  • ❝ Pardon me, I’m going to take some pictures. ❞
  • ❝ Good to see an old brother around here. ❞
  • ❝ You two make a lovely couple. ❞
  • ❝ I know who you are. ❞
  • ❝ I’m an admirer of your great work. ❞
  • ❝ My assistant describes the work to me in great detail. ❞
  • ❝ Life can be a sick joke. ❞
  • ❝ Oh, you got that right. Shit ain’t fair.  ❞
  • ❝ I owe you an apology. ❞
  • ❝ How rude of me to touch your belongings without asking. ❞
  • ❝ It’s cool. I was just confused. ❞
  • ❝ I can assure you there was no funny business. ❞
  • ❝ It’s fine. I wasn’t trying to snitch. ❞
  • ❝ I can assure you I don’t answer to anyone. ❞
  • ❝ That’s not my experience. Not at all. ❞
  • ❝ I got hypnotized last night. ❞
  • ❝ Do you think they saw that shit coming? Hell no! ❞
  • ❝ I should get back to work and minding my own business. ❞

Okay, so I got inspired earlier – I wanted to write a little bit about one of my headcanons involving Jack. So of course I made it garbage. It’s really bad and long, and I’m not sure how long I’ll leave it posted – But here you go. 

Crutchie gets stuck in a storm and seeks shelter in a small bookshop and discovers a secret about a certain charismatic union leader.

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I'll Be There (Merle Dixon x Reader)

-Female Reader-

Requested by anons: How would you like to do a Merle x reader there the reader was a tango dancer before the apocalypse. One day, a group that the reader is not in finds her old dance partner and brings him over to the prison. The reader is all happy and runs over and tackles her old friend to the ground. Merle is happy for her, but a little sceptical. The reader and her old friend starts to do an old dance routine that they remember, that’s where Merle starts to get PISSED! + Could you pretty please do a Merle imagine where he and O/C get into a big fight and then make up?

A/N: I combined these two requests and changed them a bit. I hope that`s alright and that the both of you will like the story. 

Thank you @noodlecupcakes and @katelynnhp for beta reading!

Warnings: A bit of Angst, Fighting, Fluff.

You awoke to soft sheets and the morning light trickling in through the bars of the prison window. Shedding yourself of the remaining glimpses of a dream, your eyes were still shut as you soaked in the warmth of your covers before letting your eyes see the first rays of the morning sun.

Your gaze fell upon the big man sleeping next to you. Looking at him, a smile adorned your lips. Merle always looked so peaceful when he slept, his features soft and calm, as if years of torment was erased from his mind. You could stay like that forever, admiring his chiseled face. But the harsh reality came back when the grunts from the walkers outside the fence reached your little prison cell. Standing up, you peeked outside the window and saw Rick, Maggie, and Glenn doing the morning shift of killing walkers through the fence.

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i work at banera pread so you can kinda picture the stuck up, oh-i-paid-ten-dollars-for-a-salad-i-can-treat-you-however-i-want types. keep in mind im only 18 years old, i havent even graduated high school yet. the other day a man came in a few minutes after we closed so i hadnt had time to lock the doors yet. he walks in and i tell him “hey we’re closed! we’re open until 9 for these days and until 10 on these days.” he just keeps walking towards me asking “i cant even buy a drink i just need a soda” and im like dude ???? its 9:05 and i have shit to do. i say “look im sorry, but i cant sell you anything none of the registers are open and besides we’re closed” and he just starts yelling at me leaning over the counter to get in my face about how all he wants is a drink why cant i give him a fucking drink. thankfully one of my coworkers closing line got my manager and my manager RAN out and told him “if you dont leave immediately im calling the cops.” so the guy left and knocked shit over because of course thats what assholes do. im an abuse survivor so when stuff like that happens my managers know to give me a minute to myself so i pulled myself together and finished closing went home and by the way im quitting by the end of the month.

tldr; a man came in after closing and verbally abused me in front of my coworkers when i wouldnt sell him anything. my managers are understanding but im quitting soon bye!!

Title: Pound of Cure
Character: Jake Peralta
A/n: First time writing for this show so I’m sorry if I completely miss the mark.

You whistled as you strolled into the precinct, giving a small wave to Boyle as you made your way to Jake’s desk, seeing him slumped over, resting his head in his arms.

“Well good morning sunshine,” You told him a soft tap to the back as you crashed into the chair beside him.

“Shh,” Jake said dramatically, eyes clamped shut as he brought his finger to his lips. “We do not talk this morning.”

“Don’t worry, you did enough talking over the phone.” You said with a smug smile as a confused expression took over his face.

Jake slowly lifted his head off the desk so he could look at you with tired eyes. “What…do you mean?”

“Apart from two drunk phone calls, I also got about 25 shirtless photos of you both from the bar and on the train.” You said, fishing your phone from your pocket and showing him.

“Oh god, not you too?” Jake said as he miserably scrolled through the blurred pictures of his drunken nightmare.

“I’m afraid so, what were you even doing?” You snatched back your phone before he had the chance to delete prime blackmailing content.

Jake groaned, wrapping his leather jacket around his shoulders. “You know, kicking it Old School with my good pal Jimmy Brogan. Like menly man men.”

“So, what you really mean is you got full on drunk over scotch with a reporter in his 60’s.”

Jake’s eyes narrowed as he stared at you. “That’s certainly…one way to put it. But yes, basically.”

“You’re lucky you have the greatest best friend in the world because I knew you were gonna need this.” You placed a brown, paper bag onto his lap and walked over to your desk.

Jake watched you move away before peering inside and seeing various small peices of grease-absorbed food. “(Y/n)! My angel! The light of my life!” He cried, clutching the bag close to his chest.

“You’re welcome!”

However, the rest of the morning he was still just as hungover and frankly, you were one the many people getting tired of listening to him groan on the ground while he complained about his whole body having dry mouth.

“Hey, Scully,” You said quietly, leaning over your computer monitor to look at the older man. “Can you cover for me while I run to my apartment real quick?”

“You got it, boss.” He replied, giving you a mini salute as you discreely grabbed your things and made for the door.

You lived nearby and were able to make the commute to and back with a decent amount of time. When you walled back in Amy was sliding a glass cup of egg yolks onto Jake’s desk, making you mentally cringe as you walked into the kitchen.

You assembled the things you needed and and had everything on a makeshift tray you fashioned out of a clipboard as you walked over to Jake’s desk, waiting until Holt had made him down the entire glass of eggs to approach him.

“Oh, gross he actually made you do it.” You commented as you placed a small tea cup in front of him instead.

“No! No more hangover remedies they are a sham and-” He cut himself off when he saw you adding cream into the drink.

“Trust me,” You assured him, taking a spoon and stirring it just so before holding it out to him. “I made it myself.”

Jake accepted it but pouted the whole time. “If this ends up tasting like pepper and all of my broken dreams so help me I will hurt you-” He said all the while bringing the cup close to his lips and finally taking a drink. “-Wow this is delightful.”

“I make my own tea bags. It’s not gonna fix everything but it should at least help with the headache and some of the buzz.”

“God, you’re classy.” Jake said as he nursed the little cup into his hands.

Jake downed the whole thing before a broad and lazy smile crossed his face. “Hang on, we don’t have tea bags in the kitchen. Did you run all the way to your apartment for me?”

You faltered slightly at his insinuation before standing up from his chair. “Huh, guess it doesn’t work after all. You are clearly still intoxicated.”

Jake’s entire aura turned giddy and he stood up from his chair, jacket falling onto the ground as he all but smothered you with a hug. “You love me!”

“Get away from me!” You laughed, pushing him away as you covered your nose. “Your breath smells horrendous.”

“Correct, but once I get that taken care of and can bare to stand for longer than five minutes, I will take you out for drinks, as a thank you.”

“I thought you said you were done with drinking.”

“What can I say? I make exceptions for pretty girls who are sweet to me.”

Yuri Pilsetsky X Reader - the ballet dancer.

Yuri Plisetsky X Skater!Reader
warnings: none, pure fluff yo
*aged up! yuri is like 20 and 5'11" and reader is 19/20

“Excuse me,” A small voice said from behind the blond Russian. He hoped to God it wasn’t another reporter asking for an interview. He’s already spoken to practically the entire world, who else is there to answer questions to?

He sighed and turned around, “Yeah?” He asked in Russian, since he was addressed by the voice in Russian first. To say the least, he was surprised. He honestly was expecting a reporter, not a small girl clutching her phone and ticket to the competition. 

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When They Find Photos of You & About You Secret Relationship

Request: “Hi. I love you guys’ writing very much. If it possible, can you please write bts reaction when other members found you pictures in his phone and found out that actually both of you are secretly dating. Thank you. Have a lovely day, everyone. 😘😘” -anon

Originally posted by charrytommoto

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Caught in the Web (part 2)

Part 1 

Summary: AU; You accidentally took a photo of Spider-Man without his mask covering his face and now, you have to deal with consequences.

Word count: 1 243

A/N: Thanks for all the notes, I love you guys!

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A hungry knight and his squire. That squire’s been bitten more than once. He has learned his lesson and now wears the most bite proof helmet available.

A bunch of messengers with bird masks because… birds carry messages? Yes? Yes. I have clearly thought this through.

An old gunslinger. The secret to getting old is to have lots of guns and somehow never get shot in the noggin. Oh yeah, and puffy pants. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

I have no idea what that last one is, I drew it just now so I could have tumblr not stretch the picture of the old gunslinger. I guess he is tumblr stretch man. That is his thing, yes.

Dumbledore Guy

Summary: When Emma was born she was marked with, in her opinion, the worst soulmate mark anyone could ever have. People are born marked with the first words their true love would ever say to them, and Emma’s happened to spoil one of the greatest plot twists of all time.

Rating: T (because of Emma’s lovely foul mouth)

Word count: 2,233

Also on: Ao3

a/n: I’ve been working on this for an embarrassingly long amount of time and was super nervous to post it. If there’s enough interest I may add another chapter in Killian’s point of view and maybe a little more about what happens after.

Emma Swan was twenty-eight years old and had yet to meet her soulmate. She may be the only person in the world to be thankful, but when you have a life altering spoiler tattooed in lovely delicate script across your shoulder blade all your life, you tend to be a little resentful.

She was no different than any other poor sap on Earth; born with a tattoo revealing the first words her soulmate would speak to her. However, in her opinion it was by far the shittiest, most embarrassing soulmate marking she’d ever heard of and she didn’t even know what it meant until 1998 at the age of ten.

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maybe-qchan  asked:

Hi! Not sure if you saw it, but that Rokkikukot picture of Donald and group is not a "noir car" thing, it's actually a reference to an old Finnish band Hurriganes! If you google them, you'll see the same promo photo. Rokkikukot translates as something like "Rock roosters". Donald Duck comics are super popular in Finland, Don Rosa did a whole book on Kalevala, and they've even adapted the wonderful Aki Kaurismäki movie Man Without a Past into a Donald Duck comic! It's great!

oh my god look at that

I had no idea and you bet I’m listening to this band this minute

Life lessons

This picture gave me all the thoughts… Sorry!

Life Lessons masterlist

Packed lunch? Check.

Book bag? Check.

Sobbing child, clinging on to your leg, who didn’t want to start school? Check.

Sense of guilt that sobbing child hadn’t been able to meet her new teacher when all the other kids had, because you couldn’t get the time off work to attend the open day, and there’s no other parent around to take her? Oh yes, check.

Usual sense of guilt at being a single parent, assuaged by adding an extra chocolate biscuit to lunch bag? Check. Sigh.

Additional guilt at attempting to overcome first guilt with bribery and food. *Deep breath*. Yeah, got that one covered.

Overwhelming urge to turn to drink even though it’s not yet 9am? Check and CHECK.

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anonymous asked:

gemma, looking through the internet at all of the things tabloids and fans say about harry being an attention seeking, cheating, scheming, lying, womanizer who only dates when he has to promote something which is an image harry and the boys have spoken up against: no, that one. that comment from a 12 year old fan on my instagram picture implying harry is in a loving supportive relationship with a man. i can't stand seeing comments like these about my brother every day. i have to speak up.

gemma: you’re welcome to live in my brain for a day and then read comments like yours and see how you wanna deal with it, go ahead. me: oh shit thanks *turns off my computer so i can enjoy being an old white privileged millionaire cishet woman whose sole grievance in life is people thinking her brother is gay* great! now it’s your turn to live as a lower middle class trans teen of color who takes the time to support a boyband whose family members demonize you for thinking their brother is gay.