oh man this is so lame

Boner

2,500 Followers Oneshot

Summary: The reader moves into a new town and finds out something surprising about her gorgeous neighbor.

Prompt: “I’m not sure if you’re trying to turn me on but I have a boner now.”

Pairing: neighbor!Dean x Reader

Requested: @whispersandwhiskerburn


Change.

You’ve never despised a word so much in your god damn life. It mocks you, rips every little aggravation from the world and throws it right into your fucking face. It’s turned your life completely and totally upside down. Then it spun you the fuck around just to make sure you’re officially screwed.

Having just moved from New York two weeks ago, you can now call Nashville home. Forget a different state, you feel like you’re in a freaking different reality. The friendly residents alone throw you for a loop. You’re slightly convinced that they have some ulterior motive. Then again considering the shady fuckers in your past, you could just be paranoid. 

Growing up in a big city has given you a tough exterior that the men around here seem to be intimated by. It must be the way you carry yourself, also the permanent bitch face that you’ve acquired over the years.

Keep reading

 ok out of all of butch’s videos, for some reason no one ever talks about the Drawfee Knock-off characters video??? you know:

like, people talk about the 10 years later and 107 facts videos all the time, but i havent seen anyone ever discuss it, at all. 

 here are some highlights:

  • in the first 40 seconds they describe danny as: ““how ‘bout that, that, ghost boy that i so love?””oh that good ghost boy!! yeah!” “that ghastly fellow!” “GHASTLY DAN. i think””      i completely agree
  • im shocked the single phrase ”ghastly dan the spooky man” hasnt been spread everywhere like the plague
  • at 1:16 butch says” you’re right! you do have limiting drawing talent!” it hasnt even been two minutes and butch has already savagely roasted this poor drawfee guy
  • im literally quoting this word for word: “ghastly dan just turns people into ghosts. this is a child he’s gonna turn into a ghost. he’s like the grim reaper.”
  • ““he’s saying his classic catchphrase, ‘you’re gonna be a ghost, little boy!‘“”
  • ok, so butch doesnt want the ghosts in actual canon to be dead, but everyone here is on board with the literal premise of ghastly dan literally murdering children. sure butch
  • imm im. sasdjksas. im fucking:
  • “””HEY! IMA………………IMA GETCHA DAN!!!”””
  • “and dan has already murdered so many children” “dan is a busy man”
  • “you’re making that kid a ghost!! ““you’re making caspers left and right over here Ghastly Dan!!!!”
  • butch immediately saying in a hushed tone, “oh this is getting very creepy now
  • “you could fuse tucker and sam together into some abomination”
  • canon tucker and sam fusion: Sucker Moley
  • sucker’s character premise is that he wants to be turned into a ghost but by Ghastly Dan. he wants to die
  • at 8:26 butch says “im so lame at this i’d just combine all of their traits”. getting real self deprecatory  
  • “he’s like santa claus but he gives you ghost powers” “so he’s santa claus but for death?????”“he’s the santa claus of the afterlife”
  • clockwork and eggs
  • butch at 13:01: “this is a really scary drawing it’s really upsetting me. it’s like paranormal activity come to life right on my ipad screen”
  • “ya know, he’s havin a good time!” “he’s one of the lovable band of ghost kids””and they just do insane ghost pranks all night thanks to ghastly dan”
  • butch at the end: “LETS JUST WRAP THIS UP AND PITCH THIS TO NICKELODEON RIGHT NOW” jesus christ.
“Hey mom ! ...I mean Mrs. Stark...” - Tony Stark x Reader x awkward!Peter Parker

Summary : Peter calls Tony and his wife (the reader) “dad” and “mom” by accident and…oh it’s awkward. 

Just a silly little story. Wrote in ten minutes on the verge of exhaustion, because I have almost no free time lately and…yeah. Uh. Hope you’ll still like it.

My masterlist blog : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com

_________________________________________________

It was the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to him. By far. 

It outdid that time when, as Spider-Man, he hit a signboard while swinging from web to web, and fell face first down in a busy NYC street…There were videos on YouTube, and pictures on the internet of “The Friendly neighborhood Spider greatest fail”…but at least, no one saw his face. No one actually knew him. 

But now ? Oh God. He was good old and regular Peter Parker and everyone knew it. And this all thing was embarrassing beyond all measure ! 

He had just called Mrs. Stark “mom” on live TV ! 

He obviously didn’t mean to but…it was the stress really. 

People were starting to get curious about Anthony Stark’s mysterious intern, and he just had to give an interview about it so as not to blow his cover. After all, it was the first time Tony’s company was taking interns ! And everyone was curious about that guy that teenage boy who got the first one ever. 

With how obsessed with the Starks the World was, the interview was a huge deal…Millions of people watched the great Iron man’s new protégé, the boy so many were jealous of for landing the best internship ever at Stark Industries.

The journalists asked him hundred of questions, and everything was going smoothly. Besides, Peter felt like with Mr. Stark by his side, he was invincible, his hero and role model giving him strength…Up until he talked about you and used the word “mom” to do so…And you were right next to him…Oh, awkward.

It happened barely a second ago but he already rewinded the scene in his head a thousand times…The journalist asked :

-How is it to be so often in the presence of Tony Stark, a genius and also one of the biggest and most famous superhero on Earth ? 

And stupid, embarrassing, idiotic, nervous Peter answered :

-It’s ok really, Mr. Stark is amazing, and his wife, Mrs (Y/N) Stark is really great, right mom ? 

And he turned to you. Right after he called you “mom” in front of millions of people…and just froze. Why didn’t he stop at “Mrs. (Y/N) Stark is really great”, why the Hell did he turn to you and said “right mom ?”…he would never know. 

There was a sudden silence in the room, all the journalists and even the damn security guards staring at Peter. He cleared his throat and laughed nervously, but he wasn’t able to say anything. 

He glanced quickly at Tony and your husband was just like everyone else right now, staring at him, probably thinking : “wait…what did he say ?”.

This was Peter’s worst nightmare. Public humiliation. Saying something so damn stupid. In front of so many people…

Keep reading

HOW TO FLEX & TROLL A SCENE

FLEX

Jajajajaja, DAT ADAM-Flex mode activated
Flex! - Flex!
Flex, troll a scene!
Flex! - Flex!
Flex, troll a scene!
Flex!


xD

[A]
Swerve, swerve, swerve, swerve!
Ich lache euch alle aus, so wie Mr. Wixa
Dein weak ass Flow hat mich getriggered - jaja
Blitzgewitter, wenn ich flex auf dem Track mit dem Brickminister - jaja
Mittelfinger an die Gagos und ihren Mist auf Twitter
Ihr seid outdated so wie Windows Vista
Ihr meint ihr wärt die Future - ha, sicher sicher, klar

[T]
Ey Flowwechsel, die so fresh sind, hat keiner von euch Low-Levels
Will ich ‘nen fordernden Gegner, dann müsst ich mich klonen oder meinen Bro battlen
You don’t get it - Nee, versteh'n tut ihr gar nix, für euch sind wir nur ein Fehler der Matrix
Was wollt ihr tun wenn DAT ADAM auf’s Gas tritt?

[A]
Oh damn, oh damn, das hätte niemand gedacht
Ey die YouTube-Lelleks zeigen steady, wie man es macht
Sag mir, wer von den Lames packt so viel Stil in die Parts?
Wir machen das selbe mit der Scene wie Freezer mit Namek

[T]
Boom, we blow it up und Deutsche Rapper callen Domian, brrrr
Ohne Spaß, wir drei sind on fire wie Ponita, ey
Ihr Style ist nich’ eigen und weiter verbreitet als Comic Sans, ey
Bei weitem ist keiner so nice wie die Hydra - You know it, bruh

[Bridge]
Yee, man – you know these German Rappers?
Oh, fuck em man
They want to be like American Rappers so bad right now
Yee, that’s true
They just talkin 'bout fucking bitches, making money and all that lame ass boring shit

[A]
Geh und zähl dein Cash, zähl dein Cash
Wir sorgen für 'nen Themawechsel
In der Welt ist stupid sein jetzt der Megatrend
Geh mal weg, denn wenn wir sprayen, dann mit Vehemenz
Permanent sind die DFA-Boys in ihrem Element

[T]
Und bleiben wie sie sind, einfach nur gechillt - Uns zu haten hat leider keinen Sinn
Drei verspielte Kids zeigen ihre Skills, droppen Hits und besteigen den Olymp,
schweben über Beats, leben die Musik - Jede Selbstkritik wäre Blasphemie
Lad ne Gun mit den Versen und den Skeems, ziel auf euch und entleer das Magazin

[A]
Wir spitten fire wie ein Charizard
Immer große Klappe wie ein Karnimani, bruh
Wir durchschauen all ihre Moves, Homie, Sharingan
Der Sound ballert, wie ein fucking Kamehameha

[T]
Wir flexen so ab wie 'ne Kreissäge
Echt lächerlich, dass ihr euch einredet,
dass das, was ihr macht, die Future ist
Ich lach über euch und die Scheißszene
Hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha

[Bridge]
Yo brother
Mhm?
You know, german rappers are really creative
Oh really?
Yea, they are creative when it comes to inventing new sell-out moves
You know, they want you to buy their album years before they even put out some music
They put stupid shit no one needs in ugly boxes and call them deluxe, just to push their revenue, which leads to better chart rankings in Germany
That’s hella whack!

[A]
Yeah - genau das sind die Moves mein Homie
Jaja - warum sind sie solche Tools mein Homie
Oh damn - Wir sind cold wie ein fuckin’ Snowman
Und wie ein Virus für ihr fuckin’ Program
Sie sind trapped im Jetzt und wir schon im Morgen jajaja

[T]
Ja, wir sind die motherfuckin Babas
Zerfetzen in Sekunden wie Piranhas
Eure Promo ist nicht mehr als Propaganda
Bin zwar kein Japaner, aber euch nenne ich Baka
Haha haha - Ihr seid alle lachhaft
Mein Magen tut weh, weil ich so lach, es ist unfassbar
Hahahahahaha - Wir bändigen Flames wie der Avatar

[A]
Tell me, wenn sie der New Shit sind - warum bringen sie dann nichts Neues?
Manchmal gönne ich mir, was in diesem Land als Cool Shit gilt
Und bin disappointed - Fucking disappointed! - Einfach nur annoying, urgh
Und wir soll'n also die sein, die hier Toys sind?
Was vor Jahr'n schon von uns kam bringen Blitzmerker erst heute
Wir changen das Game, lowkey und die Missets wollen es leugnen

[T]
Ye ye ye yeee, Ihr wollt die Hydra ignoriern, aber seid heimlich interessiert
Sogar nach drei fucking Bonghits rap ich noch tighter ein als ihr
Ihr könnt’ den Style nicht imitiern - Da brauch echt keiner diskutiern
Ey, wir sind dope und ihr seid whack - Geht das rein in euer Hirn?


JAWS

[T]
T-Brick
Ich bin der Master der Bescheidenheit und halt’ nicht viel von Eitelkeit,
doch wenn ich in der Booth bin, Homie, lass’ ich all die Scheiße frei,
die Platz verbraucht in meinem Mind
Wenn ich mit Bars baller’, dann baller’ ich nicht zum Zeitvertreib

Ich baller’ den Einheitsbrei aus manifestierter Peinlichkeit
zurück in all seine Einzelteile, diese Gagos!
Keiner von denen ist einfallsreich und all ihre Tracks haben kein Detail
Meine Bestimmung ist sie zu zerfetzen, die Erde zu retten und fly zu sein

Nenn mich Light, denn der, über den ich nur eine Line
in mein fucking Rhymebook schreib, wird binnen Sekunden 'ne Leiche sein
Jede Zeile ein Meilenstein, yeah
Zeig mir einen, der meint sein Style ist nice, ich reiß ihn klein mit Leichtigkeit, wouh
denn von ihnen ist keiner nice, wouh
Alles, was ihnen fehlt, hab ich mir einverleibt, wouh
Im ganzen Business schwimmen nur noch kleine Fische
und dazwischen wirkt DAT FUCKING ADAM wie der weiße Hai

[T]
Wie der Weiße Hai
Wie der Weiße Hai
Wie der Weiße Hai
Wie der Weiße Hai
Hai
Hai

[A]
Ohh Shit -
Mehr Impact als ein fucking Asteroideneinschlag
Homie, du weißt, Homie, du weißt - Wir geben den Ton an zurzeit
So far ahead und das ohne zu tryen
Gomenasai, Homie, Gomenasai, sai, sai!

Ey, tut mir doch Leid, dass unser Shit so damn nice ist
und sie nicht peil’n, dass nur zu pretenden nicht reicht
Wenn du so dope bist, dann zeig es - Homie, du weißt

DAT FUCKING ADAM versorgt deutsche Mucke mit Style
Fuck all of your numbers, kommt runter vom Hype
Ey, die Future zerreißt

[T&A]
Wie der Weiße Hai
Wie der Weiße Hai
Jaws
Wie der Weiße Hai
Wie der motherfucking Weiße Hai
jajaja, Jaws
Wie der Weiße Hai
Wie der Weiße Hai
Wie der Weiße Hai
Wie der motherfucking Weiße Hai
Jajaja, Jaws


Swiggy Swiggy

[T]
Swerve motherfucker, swerve motherfucker
Swaggiest motherfucker on earth, motherfucker
Hair blue like a smurf, motherfucker
Niemand so swiggy in dieser world, motherfucker

Flyer als jeder verdammte bird, motherfucker
I’m the first, der mit jedem Verse burned, motherfucker
So gestört motherfucker - Sieh und learn, motherfucker
We the best, no matter what you fuckin’ heard, motherfucker

Nenn uns Rihanna, we work work work, motherfucker
We are stupid and contagious, so wie Kurt, motherfucker
Nach diesem Track bist du bald, denn unsere Mucke rasiert
Alles, was wir machen ist Rauf- und Runterpumpe-Musik

Fühl mich unverwundbar auf Beats - Hab keinen wunden Punkt, ich bin T
Bin am Feuer speihen in der Booth und drum herum ist mein Team, Hydra
Ganz egal, was ich tue, ye, drum herum ist mein Team, die Hydra
Niemand so swaggy in dieser world motherfucker

[A]
Jaaa - wir sind so swiggy swiggy swiggy swiggy
Ja ja - wir sind so swiggy swiggy swiggy swiggy
ey DAT ADAM is swiggy swiggy swiggy swiggy
Ja ja - wir sind so swiggy swiggy swiggy swiggy

[T]
Swerve swerve swiggy swiggy
Damn damn swiggy swiggy
Swerve swerve swiggy swiggy
Damn damn swiggy swiggy

Swerve - swiggy swiggy
Damn damn swiggy swiggy
Swerve swerve swiggy swiggy
Damn damn swiggy swiggy

Swerve - swerve - swerve - swerve

[A]
Damn motherfucker, damn motherfucker
Keiner so fire wie meine Fam, motherfucker
Hydra ist der Name und ist program motherfucker
Jeder hier in meinem Team ist Head, motherfucker

Sie sind salty, salty, salty, Kikkoman motherfucker
Wir sind childish und slayen wie Peter Pan, motherfucker
Yeah, die Fingergun macht steady click click bang, motherfucker
Und die scene wird von den YouTube-Kids gesprengt, motherfucker

Ja, ja wir moven außerhalb der Frames, motherfucker
Fucking hot, aus deinen Boxen sprühen jetzt Flames, motherfucker
Geben keinen Fuck auf die ganzen big names, motherfucker
Was sie droppen ist repetetive und lame, motherfucker

Oh geez, oh damn, keiner flowt so wie die Gang, jajaja
Ganz egal, was ihr so denkt
Wir kommen mit der Heat ins Game - ja, ja, ja
Jeder, der so lieblos rappt, ist no match für diese Band - nah, nah, nah
Watch out homie, we go ham, here to stay, gehen nie mehr weg

Und ich grinde die Plants
Während sie vorm Benz posieren ziehen wir vorbei in 'nem Tesla
Hasserfüllte Gagos kriegen keinen Respekt, nah
Sie wollen es haten, doch finden es eigentlich fresh

Ha! Ey Rap macht so Spaß
Mit ihm zu spielen ist pure fun
Alle stellen sich viel zu sehr an
Guck mal, ich brauch nicht mal 'nen Reim

Shoutout an DAT ADAM
Und die Hand voll and'rer cooler Rapper, die ich kenne
Monster auf dem Beat, doch wenn er aus ist mehr so Lennon
Dass wir die besten im Land sind, ist bitter wie 'ne Lemon


IO

[T]
Bam bam - Der Blunt ballert, aber nicht wie in eine Pumpgun,
sondern wie Tritte von Van Damme - Homie, die Chrome EP war erst der Anfang
Ich brenne so wie Meramon - Ich werde noch mehr brennen so wie Meramon
Und meine Heißigkeit steigt mit jedem Song - Du wirst brennen, wenn du mir in die Quere kommst,

denn jeder meiner Verses killt wie ein Shinigami
Dass du denkst, dass du dope bist find ich funny, he, denn das stimmt nicht, sorry!
Jedes mal, wenn ich mir anseh’, was grade so trendet,
frag ich mich, ob das ihr Ernst is’ - No Joke!
Davon krieg’ ich einen Kotzreiz und zur Beruhigung hau ich mir 'nen Jibby an und danach noch ein

Wir sind ein eingespielteres Team als diese Turtles bro, bro
und den anderen einen Schritt voraus genau wie dieser Sherlock Holmes, bro
Mit gestörten Flows rasieren wir auf Turnup-Shows
Wir machen Welle und sie schwimmen mit als wären sie Surfer, bro, bro

[A]
Ey, yeah, yeah
Flow straight aus der future wie Trunks (Future Trunks, nicht der Kleine)
Ich, baller um mich doch ich use keine gun (Fingergun, fingergun, fingergun!)
They do it for money we do it for fun! (we do it for fun)
Scheiß auf Bottles im Club wir rollen Doubies im Park

Ab diesem Jahr ist jedes Jahr nur unser Jahr (nur unser Jahr)
Denn die Sounds sind hotter als der Planet Mustafar (Mustafar)
Das was sie bring ist und bleibt nur dritte Wahl

Yeah, yeah
Guck, meine Crew sieht aus wie ein Anime-Cast
Ihre wie ein Haufen fucking Wannabe-Stars
Fake ass, lying ass, copy and paste ass hitters,
ich kann euch nicht ab, nah

Mitleid für die Lames, denn sie tauschen ihre Seele gegen fame,
Profit over everything - Das gottverdammte Motto ihrer ehrenlosen Gang
Immer so late, weil sie gar nichts getten, wow
Fuckboys tragen jetzt Versaceketten und Affen fangen an uns alles nachzuäffen, bruh

Weirde, weirde, weirde Welt -
Ich throw das Peace Sign ab und zieh am J,
denn all der weak shit macht mich so angry
Ich will wieder Richtung space (wieder Richtung space, wieder Richtung space)

Steig in mein Spaceship in ABC Basic und schrei: “Nieder mit dem Game!”
Homie es ist DAT FUCKING ADAM, wer uns jetzt noch nicht kennt
Der merkt sich besser diesen Namen, denn wir nehm'n euch bei der Hand und führen euch in die future, damit ihr auch mal hier ankommt, bitch!


Goody Goody

[T]
Yeah, ihre Crew macht Kampfansagen, yeah - Meine Crew macht Hanfparade, yeah
Sie sind Riesenaffen, aber ich werd’ ihn'n den Schwanz abschlagen
oder sie werfen ihn ab, als würd ich Salamander jagen
Callt schon mal den Krankenwagen, yeah

Ey, meine Crew so fucking hot, als würde sie in Magma baden
Und ihre so faceless - Ich kann sie mir noch schlechter merken als 'n viel zu langen Manganamen

Ganz andere Liga, yeayea - Anderes Kaliber, yeayea
Sie machen vielleicht Business, aber glaube mir, von innen sind sie alle nur Verlierer, huh
Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu: Man sieht Feuerbälle immer, wenn ich Flows kick’
But you won’t get it, wenn du nur ein fucking clone bist
Please wait a minute 'cause my phone rings

Okay, ich hebe nicht ab
Ich bin grade beschäftigt mit dem nicht geben eines Fucks
Der ganze Planet fängt an zu beben durch den Bass
Du kannst diesen Sound nicht fühlen, Homie, rede keinen Quatsch, Homie, rede keinen Quatsch

Ich bleib’ auf dem Teppich, doch bin trotzdem fly so wie Aladdin
Und hab’ gegen Missets schon seit der Geburt an 'ne Allergie

[A]
Ich rolle meinen Doobie, smoke ihn im Jacuzzi
Dope in meiner Lunge, Strohhalm drin im Smoothie
Oh, mir geht es goody
Es ist almost wie im Movie, oh, mir geht es goody
Oh, mir geht es goody
Oh, mir geht es goody
Oh, mir geht es goody
Oh, mir geht es goody
Oh, mir geht es goody
Oh, mir geht es goody

[T]
Ruft besser einen Feuerwehrwagen, denn dieser Track ist der Burner
Ihr drückt den Replay-Button, bevor ihr das Ende gehört habt
Wir sind die Rapper der Future, muss ich das echt noch erörtern?
Ich scheiß auf alle anderen, die nichts außer Whackness verkörpern,

denn ich bin Deutschrap-Fan und ich bin echt enttäuscht
Mein favorite Rapper hierzulande ist mein bester Freund
und der Rest der Leute, deren Shit noch klar geht,
kann ich an meinen Fingern abzählen

Ich mein’ das nicht persönlich, haha, ist doch alles goody
Ich will nur ein bisschen nerven wie die Kids bei Call of Duty
Ihr seid kein Hindernis ihr Rookies
Das ist noch lange nicht alles also fick nicht mit meinen Brudis!

Aha, aha - Besser als wir geht nicht
Wir sind superkalifragilistikexpialigetisch
und ihr seid alle berechenbar als wärt ihr geometrisch
und dabei der reinste Abfuck, wie der fette Block bei Tetris

Ich bleib’ auf dem Teppich, doch bin trotzdem fly so wie Aladdin
Und hab’ gegen Missets schon seit der Geburt an 'ne Allergie
Ich bleib’ auf dem Teppich, doch bin trotzdem fly so wie Aladdin
Aladdin, Brudi - Und hab’ gegen Missets 'ne Allergie


S/O

[A]
Yah, yah, yah -
My whole team got my back
Sie wollen uns down reden, auch wenn sie keinen von uns wirklich kennen
Doch es interessiert mich nicht - Was der Rest meint, interessiert mich nicht,

denn my whole team got my back
Yeah, egal, was ich mach’ und wohin ich geh
Wir lassen uns nie im Stich
Keine Family ist so real im Biz, yea yea

Businessheads wir haben keine Zeit für sie Bitch,
guck wir teilen gern Shit, doch die Vibes sind nicht richtig
Nein, nein, nein sie peilen nicht die Vision
Paper über alles ist nicht meine Religion

Ey und wir sliden durchs Biz
und die meisten hier sind so damn versteift auf ihr Image
Doch nicht mein Team, mein Team
Das Motto heißt „Freedom und Realness“

[A]
Yea yea, shoutout to my friends, yea
Proud to be with them them, yea
Down until the end, yea
Yea they got my back
Yea they got my back
Yea they got my back
Yea they got my back
Yea they got my back

[T]
Yeah - Die Hippies sind back
Und hitten das Lab mit Jib’ im Gepäck
Du weißt wer es ist - Hydra, Hydra, Hydra
Das ist nicht nur 'ne Band, nicht nur ein Trend, nicht nur 'ne Gang, das ist die Fam

Und alles was ich need in my life
Brauch’ nur die kleine Pi, mein Team und das reicht,
denn jeder von denen weiß, wer ich bin
und bestärkt mich darin zu sein, wie ich bin - Keiner bestimmt!

Und Missets fangen an uns als verrückt zu betiteln,
denn diese Missets mögen gar nicht, wenn man glücklich und real ist,
denn dank den Medien sehen sie nur noch künstliche Feelings
und ich hab damals echt geglaubt, irgendwas stimmte mit mir nicht,

aber okay okay, heut’ ist es okay
Die Welt wird wieder bunt, wenn deine Freunde dich verstehen
Noch immer Misfit, aber heut’ ist es ok
Ich lass’ einfach fließen und steh’ meinen Träumen nicht im Weg, yea

denn my whole team got my back, yea
denn my whole team got my back
denn my whole team got my back
My whole team got my back
My whole team got my back

[M]
Ok, ich jump rein jetzt
Ich bin drin jetzt
Ich fühl es, ja

I’m a better me since I found my family
Look at my team we’re free
Look at my, look at my team, we’re free

Happenstance

Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: “We don’t meet people by accident. They’re meant to cross our path for a reason” but sometimes it’s a little awkward. 

Word Count:2,565 (wtf?!)

Warnings: Language, Drinking, Implied Sex, The Fluffiest Fluff that ever Fluffed

A/N: Written for Bee’s writing challenge. I’m so sorry… it took me forever to write this. I hope it’s okay. 

Originally posted by cheekychappychris

The bar was empty except for another patron and the bartender who was cleaning mugs with a rag. It was late and you should have been in bed, sleeping soundlessly, but you were too nervous to sleep. So you got dressed in the first clothes that came to hand, grabbed your keys and decided to take a stroll around the neighbourhood.

Of course, that didn’t do a thing to calm your nerves so you settled for the next best thing: a bar not too far from your apartment. You only had a ten dollar bill and some change in your pocket, but it was enough to order their cheapest drink -a vodka cranberry.

Keep reading

Party Like A Stark

Originally posted by maybelline

Peter Parker x  Stark Reader

Part (1/6)

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4  Part 5  Part 6

Summary: Today is your 19th birthday, and you also happen to be Tony Stark’s loved daughter.  What’s a better way to celebrate this special day than a party?!  All the Avengers and family friends will be there, even your secret crush Spider-Man.  You’ve always wanted to meet the famous spiderling, but little did you know you already know him.  Your party will definitely be one to remember.

Warnings: none! just lots of fluff and hugs

Masterlist

AN: So this will be my mini Peter fic that will lead up to smut!! I wanted to just do a Peter smut but i had this brilliant idea that needed more than one post!! I would like to point out that both Peter and reader are 18+, so it’s not weird.  Also, Pietro is alive and healthy bc I refuse to accept that this precious muffin is dead.  Also Clint and Nat are together bc I refuse to believe they weren’t made for each other. So hope you enjoy the first part of my mini fic!!

Keep reading

Identity Part Two (Peter Parker x Reader)

Originally posted by hollandoakes

Word Count: 1302

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

AN: Okay but real talk this gif is an accurate representation of me after watching homecoming. I have so many new ideas now and I loved Ned so much he was such a great character. If you’ve seen the movie let me know your thoughts because I want to discuss. Personally it has become my new favourite spider-man movie which is a lot for me to say. You can read part one , three four and five here :)

Your fourth period science lesson seemed to drag on longer than usual; the various formulas that scattered the board appeared to be nothing but nonsense to you. Sadly science was never your calling and it was starting to show in your grades. You wouldn’t know what you would do if you didn’t befriend the bubbly goofball that was Ned Leeds, he was the reason you were passing the subject now as he took it upon himself to tutor you. He also became one of your closest friends over the past few years and just so happened to be the best friend of Peter Parker. After everything that went down yesterday you were unsure of a lot of things. Like if Peter was actually Spider-man, if Peter had feelings for your best friend or if you had feelings for the boy yourself. And most importantly what you were going to do about homecoming. 

An idea surfaced your mind at the thought of the upcoming dance as you glanced beside you at your science partner. Nudging his shoulders shyly you became a little embarrassed about the situation but you wouldn’t let yourself back out now. “Hey Ned.” The boy was busy concentrating on his notes when you interrupted his thoughts. He turned to you with a friendly smile on his face as always. "What’s up?“ 

Your nerves were showing as you looked at the table instead of his face; words leaving your mouth in a rush. "I hope this doesn’t freak you out but…do you wanna be my date for homecoming? I know you’d probably rather go with anyone else but Liz bailed on me and I just want to be around a friendly face-" 

Your rambling was cut short when you felt Ned place his hand on your shoulder reassuringly. "Don’t over think this Y/N. Of course i’ll go with you, I’d be a shitty friend if I declined.” Looking up you grinned widely at your friend and immediately engulfed him in a bone crushing hug.“Uh you’re honestly the best.” Pulling away from Ned another thought crossed your mind that caused a smirk to appear on your face. “So how’s it going with Betty?" 

At the mention of her name Ned instantly gets red in the cheeks; sighing as he leaned forward on the desk.  "That would mean something would have to actually start.” Those words made you break a little inside. Ned was one of the nicest guys you knew and he’d been hung up on Betty Brant ever since kindergarten yet not once had he made a move. It hurt to see your friend this way, especially since you knew they would be perfect for each other. 

Trying to cheer him up you slung your arm around his shoulder playfully. “Oh come on Ned, she’d be crazy not to like you. I know Betty, she’ll so be into you.” He seemed to perk up a bit at the thought, peeking over his shoulder to talk to you. “You really think so.” A light chuckle left your lips as you ruffled his hair a little knowing that it annoyed him which you were successful in doing as he hastily tried to fix it by running his fingers through it.

 "I know so.“ His mood seemed to brighten after your words of encouragement, a small smile gracing his lips at the thought of Betty Brant liking him. His feelings for the girl never ceased to make you aw as if he were a small puppy dog, he sure had the heart of one. Now visibly happier than before, Ned decided to change the topic back to you. "So how are things going with your hunt for spider-man?" 

You were so caught up in the Betty and Ned drama that you’d almost forgotten about how you’d practically discovered Spider-man’s true identity. And now sitting besides Peter’s best friend you couldn’t help but wonder if he knew about the secret too. Dropping your voice to a low whisper, so that you couldn’t be overheard by nosy teenagers, you leaned in closer to the boy. "Actually you could help me with that…" 

Ned’s body instantly stiffens at your suspicious words, not doing a very god job at hiding his knowledge from you. After a moment he seemed to snap out of his trance as he shrugged his shoulders, pretending that he had no idea what you were talking about. "What do you mean?" 

"Peter Parker. He’s your best friend and i’m almost certain he’s secretly Spider-man in his spare time.” The reaction Ned had to your suspicions only raised them as his eyes widen and he visibly gulps in discomfort. "Y-you’re crazy. As if Peter was-“ 

"You know! Don’t you.” Cutting him off mid sentence you excitedly lean in closer, practically begging for your friend to tell you that you were right about this. However the boy chooses to keep his mouth shut and avoid the situation as he scrambles to grab his belongings off the desk, obviously not wanting to spill his best friends deepest darkest secret to you by accident. “I-I…I gotta go." 

Raising your brow sceptically at him you almost let out a laugh at the scene. "But it’s the middle of class?” Slinging his backpack over his shoulder he rushed out a lame excuse before heading out the door and leaving you to giggle at how terrible a liar Ned Leeds was.


“So found Spider-man yet?” The voice of your best friend broke your thoughts as you walked through the school hallways between fifth and sixth period. At the mention of the Spider-man, Peter Parker, you instantly freeze up a little. “Oh um no, not yet." 

Lie. You just lied straight to Liz’s face and you were unsure as to why. A slight frown appeared on her face at your words, guilt slowly creeping away at your mind at the sight. "Oh bummer, I’ve been thinking about what you said yesterday and you’re right. I do really like Spider-man so when you find out who he is can you tell me, please?" Suddenly feeling uncomfortable with the situation you replied with a short answer, you hated lying to her but you knew it was for the better. "I-sure Liz.”  

Pulling you into a tight side hug Liz almost squealed into your shoulder. "You’re the best Y/N.“ You couldn’t just go around telling people Peter was Spider-man, even if it was your best friend it wasn’t right. Even so it still didn’t make you feel any better about lying to your friend. But there was something else stopping you from telling her the truth and honestly you were scared to find out what it was. It felt almost selfish to keep this from her, like you was stopping her from meeting possibly the guy of her dreams. You didn’t…you didn’t have feelings for Parker, did you? Oh god no.

Luckily you didn’t have to dwell on the thought for long as the sound of blood curdling screams echo down the school halls. People were running and screaming in fear in the opposite direction immediately causing everyone around you to panic and follow. You didn’t waste a second before sprinting down the halls like everybody else, that was until you lost sight of your best friend who was just beside you only moments ago. Instantly stopping you looked around frantically through the crowds of people trying to locate her. "Liz! Liz!” What if she was in trouble? You couldn’t leave her behind. 

After a minute or so of retracing your steps and looking in classrooms the girl was nowhere to be found.The halls were completely empty now so you figured Liz made it outside already. Just as you’re about to head back the most horrendous sight appears in front of you, a gigantic Lizard. 

Valentine’s Day Sentence Starters

Mixed Starters :: Cute :: Fluffy :: Valentine’s Day Gone Wrong.

  1. “Who needs a date on valentine’s day when I have you?”
  2. “Our waiter is so hot.”
  3. "No, you have fun with your date. Don’t let my being stood up stop you.”
  4. “Oh, my god… the babysitter just cancelled on us! how are we supposed to go on the date now?”
  5. “Valentine’s day is my favorite holiday! I know it’s lame but I can’t help it. I’m a hopeless romantic. there, I said it.”
  6. “We’re going Dutch, right?”
  7. “Tell me that’s not my ex over there.”
  8. “What do you mean you’re at the restaurant across town?”
  9. “You’re literally the worst when it comes to being romantic.”
  10. “Babe, you know I love you, but… last time you cooked me a meal, I ended up in hospital. can’t we just go out for dinner…?”
  11. “Nobody said anything about this being a cover band!”
  12. “Um… yeah, these are really nice and all, but I’m allergic to roses.”
  13. Tthis is the worst valentine’s surprise ever! were you trying to scare me to death?!”
  14. “Oh my– are you proposing?!”
  15. “Do you think my secret admirer might finally reveal themselves today?”
  16. “Valentine’s day is such a scam of a holiday… it’s so stupid! I hate it.”
  17. “We’re eating out at the Golden Arches!”
  18. “We’re going to do anti-valentine’s day this year. we’re going to go out and do all of the least romantic date ideas ever, just to stick it to the man.”
  19. “I can’t believe I’m actually at a wedding on valentine’s day. what a lame cliché.”
  20. “Does this have caramel in it? I’m allergic to caramel!”
  21. “How was I supposed to know there would be a bee in the bouquet?!”
  22. “This is not a proposal!”
  23. “I shaved my legs for this?”
  24. “My boss told me I have to work late.”
  25. “I didn’t realize these tickets were for the nosebleed section.”
  26. “Um, I tried to buy some sexy underwear, but I think they sent me the wrong size…”
  27. “That movie was awful.”
  28. “You can’t seriously be proposing right now? on valentine’s day? couldn’t you have thought of something a little more original than that?”
  29. “Something has been nibbling on these chocolates.”
  30. “Um, I know this is really cliché and all, but it’s valentine’s day and I just wanted to say… I really like you.”
  31. “I’m going to be stuck at work for a little longer… I’m sorry, I know it’s our date tonight…”
  32. “I forgot to make reservations.”
  33. “I am not going to be your fake-date to this party.”
  34. “I wish I could do more for you today but I’m really broke…”
  35. “I love them and all, but their poetry is so bad! they’ve written seven love poems just for today.”
  36. “So… can I assume you don’t have a date tonight either?”
  37. “Olive Garden is not fine dining!”
  38. “I’m really sorry my dog peed on your good shoes.”
  39. “I didn’t forget that it was valentine’s day! I swear! your present is just… it’s somewhere else.”
  40. “What do you mean these diamonds are fake?”
  41. “We’re out of condoms.”
TRANSCRIPT OF QUESTIONS FROM JACK’S PANEL

Here is the transcript from the panel only including the actual questions, for the people who cant watch / don’t have time / or who were triggered by some of the topics discussed. 

All of the personal stories have been removed, this is just the questions that the fans asked and Jack answered. Some questions were left out as i either couldn’t hear it properly or they were too complicated to write out (only one or two). Enjoy!


Fan: I wanted to know if you could speak another language?

Jack: Uh, kinda? I mean- I barely speak english, so. I speak a small bit of Irish, French, Danish, a little bit of Korean. Not very well!

————

Fan: I have a serious question, do you want to go to prom with me?

Jack: I was waiting for some very strong political commentary or something. Dude i’ll go to prom with you! I’m not a cheap date though. Im gonna need a limo, a dress, flowers.. Ok, sure. No problem. Hit me up. Hit me up in the DMs. Slide into them DMs man.

————

Fan: Do you prefer the original ghostbusters or the remake?

Jack: What do you think? It’s like- Do you like to eat pizza, or do you like to eat garbage? Does that answer your question? [laughs]

————

Fan: What’s your favourite song?

Jack: Im gonna have to go with the opening to Peppa Pig. It’s the best. It’s hard to top that. [snorts] [quietly sings Peppa Pig theme song]

————

Fan: Whats your favourite soundtrack from a game?

Jack: Oh, Jesus. See, everyone wants me to say Undertale, and that’s a good one, but i’m going to have to go with Shadow of the Colossus. And thats not just because its my favourite game ever, i think the soundtrack is really good and it really compliments that game as well. And its epic, you should work out to that soundtrack. Just like, battling titans, its amazing.

————

Fan: Since you don’t like Guinness, what kind of beer do you like?

Jack: See i’m like the worst irishman. I like beer but it’s like, Miller and Coors. Im so not patriotic at all. I like light beers. Im sorry everybody!

————

Fan: Do you like Twenty One Pilots and if so, what’s your favourite song by them?

Jack: I started off listening to their Blurry Face album- [Audience cheers] Man, thats all i have to talk about is Twenty One Pilots and then i’m good? [Audience cheers again] My favourite song from them is Lame Boy.

————

Fan: I wanted to know what your favourite storyline series is on the channel? Aside from Shadow of the Colossus.

Jack: Oh god, hit me with all the big questions. I don’t know, there’s a lot of good ones that i’ve played that have really good stories. My current favourite one is Night in the Woods. I love it, it’s just so weird! “Im a total trash mammal”. But probably Undertale. I’m not pandering either, i really like it.

————

Fan: Is there something that you wanted to try in the next year that you haven’t tried before?

Jack: Hmm, how much am i allowed to say… One thing that i want to try more of, and i’ve said this in videos, is to try and do this kind of thing in a touring fashion. To try and go around- because we always go to these events, and we always go to panels at them, but not everyone can come to this and there’s people watching at home- Hi people at home! [waves at camera] So it kind of sucks because all of these events go on in places that certain people can’t get to. So im going to try and do a thing- its not going to be anything crazy. We’re just going to try and do a thing where we go to more places and try and do more of these at different venues. Hopefully, i don’t know how that’s going to work, we need to test it out first. It could be awful. But hopefully we can get it done.

————

Fan: What video was the most fun for you to make?

Jack: Oh god, there’s like four million of them. I don’t know, it’s different because different things are fun for different reasons. Recording certain series- recording Shadow of the Colossus was really fun because its my favourite game, and then recording The Last Guardian was awesome because that was the sequel to that. And then recording with these guys [gestures to Mark, Ethan, etc] is awesome as well because we always laugh a lot. Different games for different reasons, certain things that- well, its more the ones that stand out to me more so the ones that are ‘fun’. It’s easy to have fun but its hard for a game to have a huge impact on you. 

So two games that come to mind that have had a huge impact on me was ‘That Dragon, Cancer’ because thats just a rollercoaster from start to finish. That and ‘The Beginners Guide’ was a big one for me. Because i remember when i finished recording that video i was like “Ok, people are going to like this. I love this, this was a good thing to record.” And it was a nice experience to share and i don’t often get to do that with games. Like its fun to do Happy Wheels and everything, but at the end of the day they all kind of blend together. These are the ones that stand out, and it’s the one that stand out and sit there for a very long time that mean the most to you. Not that they were the most fun to record, but they were the ones to kind of stay with me the longest.

————

Fan: Is there a game that you play that you’re not very fond of?

Jack: Ooo, good one. I don’t know, i don’t think there is. If there’s ever a game that i’m not really fond of i just don’t play it. I think that goes for a lot of people. Or if i get bored of something i usually stop playing it. Well a lot of games i don’t know what they’re going to be like until i play it. God i wish i had an example, im bad at this. What videos have i recorded?

————

Fan: If you were to discover a planet in outer space, what would you name that planet?

Jack: Well, Uranus is taken. So im going to have to go with Urectum.

————

Fan: What kept you motivated throughout your entire YouTube career even when things seemed like they would never go your way?

Jack: Its going to sound like a cop out, but literally the people who watch the videos. I know it sounds cheesy and it sounds like you’re pandering to the people, but thats the real reason. There’s always a time when you’re uploading stuff that you don’t know if its going to do well or you don’t know if people are going to like it, and sometimes it just takes off and people love it. Then there’s always the times when you feel really down and you can go into the comments or go on Instagram or Tumblr or Twitter or something, and you can see people saying really nice things, or you will see them drawing fan art of the game that you’ve played or telling you their story. Like the people who have come up and said that you’ve helped them a lot, its that kind of stuff that keeps you going. 

Because it’s very easy when you’re doing YouTube to get very jaded by it, because there’s a lot of- like when you get super involved in it and you do it as your job and you’re doing it day after day all the time, its very easy for it to consume you and to make you feel a bit cynical about everything. I don’t know, like you kind of take for granted what you have. So its when you do things like this, when you meet people, when you hear their stories and you hear how much what you do means to them, even if you think its silly, that keeps you going. Because you mean a lot for other people, as much as the people mean for you when they watch your videos. It’s a very back and forth thing and i definitely think its the viewers who watch your content.

————

Fan: Does pineapple belong on pizza?

Jack: HELL YES.

————

Fan: What do you want to say to all of the haters of pineapple on pizza out there?

Jack: Fuck you. There’s two types of people in the world, people who like pineapple on pizza, and people who are wrong [points at Mark]

————

Fan: When the full release [of Subnautica] comes out in May, are you going to re-do the series?

Jack: Yes. I mean, i feel like i kind of have to. Well i’ll probably skip a lot of the similar stuff like building bases and farming things [can’t hear what he said here] and whatever we haven’t seen or if stuff has changed or anything like that. I will definitely do it again, i love that game. The more Subnautica i get to play, the better. Its like the best game ever.

————

Fan: How is it like to make people smile every day?

Jack: It’s the best, man. Its awesome. It’s weird when you do- like i know that YouTube, what we do, people don’t consider it a job, but it is a job. And not a lot of people get to have that sort of feedback in their job or their line of work or the stuff that they like to do, or in their hobbies even. So its really cool that the stuff that we get to do that makes us happy, in turn reflects and makes other people happy, which in turn makes us happy, then it makes you happy. So its a really cool thing. I love it. I can’t imagine myself doing anything else anymore and it’s the best feeling in the world.

————

Fan: What’s a big goal that you want to achieve this year or in the next coming years?

Jack: Its like talking to a guidance counsellor again, like, ‘Where do you see yourself in five years?’. I don’t know, happy? [laughs]

Fan: It’s ok, happy is good. Stay happy!

Jack: I will try my best. As i said in the other question, i hope to do touring, and there’s other stuff that i’m trying to get done, that i can’t really say anything about and we don’t know if they’re going to happen or not so i don’t want to put stuff out there. As i said in the new years video i did, i just want to try and reach my potential or at least push past that. Because again, it’s very easy to just get complacent and just upload videos and do whatever, but you need to have that drive and that fire in you to keep going and try new things. I really want to try new things because i keep putting it off a lot of the time like, ‘oh, i have to make videos today i don’t have time for that.’ 

So i want to try and do more, and try and do bigger and better things because i always see other people do bigger and better things and its really inspiring. I want to try and reach that kind of potential as well. And i want to surprise people more than anything. I don’t want to just do the same thing over and over again and people think ‘oh its the loud, swearing Irishman.’ That’s cool, and that’s going to be on my gravestone, but i want to do more, and i want to as i said, surprise people and maybe do stuff that people thought i couldn’t do or stuff that i didn’t think i could do. I don’t know what that is, but we will find out together.

————

Fan: What’s it like knowing that thousands, millions of people support you in your dream even though 95% of them you’ve never met?

Jack: That is a weird thing, isn’t it? Because i always meet people and like all you guys here, a lot of you know who i am, some of you probably don’t, you probably just wandered in here, saw a crowd and was like ‘sure, whats going on in here?’ [laughs] So its really weird when you meet people and they know so much about you but you know almost nothing about them. Or maybe you know their username or their avatar and stuff like that, so i don’t know, it’s really bizarre. It’s a really surreal feeling, it’s awesome, i love that. I love that when you do YouTube you can reach so many different people, and not just world wide, there is so many people in different countries that speak languages that i had never even heard spoken, that you can see watched your video and im like, how? That kind of stuff is just so cool. I’m always fascinated by it. I don’t think i’ll ever stop being fascinated by it.

————

Fan: When did you and Signe meet? And how?

Jack: We actually met through Tumblr, which is really weird. Whenever i tell people that, they are kind of like ‘Oh.. i don’t know..’ Oh, we have five minutes! Ok, really fast. So, i was on Tumblr one day, and i was looking at a cool thing, and then she was like ‘hey dude wassup’ and i was like ‘yo girl wassup’ and then i was like ‘oh awesome.. thats pretty cool’ [laughs] 

No, she had drawn some stuff of me a long time ago and then we just got talking. I can’t remember what we got talking about first, i’m terrible. And then i needed- I asked her if i could use one of her pieces of art in a thumbnail for a fan game that was done, so we just kind of got talking through that. And then she was doing a livestream on her birthday, and she was drawing me in it, so i stopped in, creepily. And i just said, “Hey, you better draw me pretty.” as a joke and she said “Go fuck yourself.” so i was like [nods head] Suh dude? [laughs] Its not just some magical fairytale, i didn’t ride in on a white horse brandishing a blade. I’m such a Casanova, right?

trimberly prompt: “seven minutes in heaven” (2.7k)


Kimberly is the first over the lip of the chasm, collapsing to the ground once she reaches the top, coarse gravel digging uncomfortably into her shoulder blades. She considers moving, but only manages to lift her head instead, biting back a groan, watching as Jason climbs out of the ravine, close behind. He splays on the quarry ground next to her, reaching out to pinch weakly at her arm.

“Maybe it’s time we invest in a rope,” he says, “or like a really long ladder.”

Trini is the next up, and she greets them with a glare, tossing a handful of gravel halfheartedly in their direction.

“Who made you the leader again?”

Zach hauls himself over the edge, reaching back to pull Billy up behind him. “I think that was the giant disembodied head,” he says. “If I remember correctly.”

Kimberly laughs and Jason mimes a frown, swatting his hand vaguely in Zach’s direction. “It’s not my fault I have the coolest color.”

Trini scoffs. “As if.”

“Yeah,” Kimberly says, snapping at the elastic of her pink sports bra, the hem visible under her low-scooped tank, “that would be me.”

If the motion draw Trini’s eyes, Kimberly doesn’t notice.

Keep reading

Pete, to a parrot: whats your favorite food?

Parrot: I️ want a cracker.

Pete, laughing: Wow, hes so smart! He’s telling me what he wants!

Store employee: sir, he can’t understand you. He’ll just repeat anything he regularly hears.

Parrot: Oh man, not that lame song about lighting it up again!

Store employee, trying to cover his tracks: Haha! He could be talking about any song on the radio!

Parrot: That band sucks! And the bass player is such a dick! With that whole trying to be emo thing and that dumbass tattoo he got over his crotch! Isn’t he like 40 and a dad? It’s like he just doesn’t know when to quit!

*Pete glares angrily at the store employee*

Store employee, nervously sweating: That… that could still be someone else!

Parrot: The name of the man I’m talking about is Pete Asshole Wentz!

*silence*

Pete, smiling: Oh, phew! For a second there, I️ thought he was talking about me, but my middle name isn’t Asshole, it’s Lewis Kingston. I️ feel sorry for that other guy, though. He’s obviously got issues.

HEY I THINK I FIGURED OUT HOW TO POST VIDEOS!!!!!!!! here is a dorky video of my talking, im super lame and also SORRY FOR MY HORRIBLE SHAKY HANDS OTL

plance spiderman au

warning: spiderman: homecoming spoilers below

so I went to see spiderman: homecoming over the weekend, and it just occurred to me that michelle/MJ and peter have such a perfect parallel to pidge and lance?? plance au, anyone??

Really, more than any shipping reasons, just consider the interactions:

  • Pidge: My name’s Katie, but my friends call me Pidge.
  • Hunk: I thought you didn’t have any friends?
  • Pidge: I didn’t
  • Pidge: Haha you’re at this lame party
  • Hunk: You are too…?
  • Pidge: Am I? :))
  • Coran: Pidge, join us in celebrating this gorgeous architecture!
  • Pidge: Ehhh I don’t feel like celebrating something built by slave labor
  • Coran: Oh, i’m sure this palace wasn’t - olkari elder shakes their head
  • Coran: Oh. well. as you were!
  • Pidge: Lance, what’s your secret? are you hiding something?
  • Pidge: Lol jk i don’t care

Also:

  • The way Peter talks to Karen reminded me so much of the way Lance talks to Blue
oh, baby [draco malfoy]

request: “Could u do Draco x reader with prompts 97 and 103 please? It would be so interesting plus I love your writing. You’re so cool xoxo” -anon

word count: ~3000

a/n: why thank u anon, i AM pretty cool! (kidding im actually SO lame like u dont even know omG) anyway i wrote this at like 3 am and im posting it at 5 am so. i’m a few hours late (like a day actually but who’s counting, NOT ME) but happy bday to the real OG man draco malfoy! now enjoy this hot mess of sleep deprivation, angst, snark, and marina and the diamonds inspiration

97: “i don’t want to have a baby.”

103: “i had to see you again.”

Keep reading

Day 13: 30 Day Spider-Man Challenge

Moment that makes you laugh

Anything with Peter and Wade. Honestly, what SpideyPool moment doesn’t make me laugh? I love ‘em all, but I think my favorite was this one

I just loved how in tune they were and then Wade getting all scared in that last panel and Peter actually holding onto him! Oh, gods, I was laughing so fucking hard! I just love all of this

Bonus: More synchronized lame jokes (I live for these)

anonymous asked:

I LOVE THE BEN AFFLECK ONE! YES GIRL GET IT! But can I get a Bruce Wayne one? So Y/N and Bruce have dinner with Y/N dad then she says "daddy pass the salt.." and they both reach in?

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! 

Originally posted by antiqone

A/N: This is really short, I’m sorry :\ Also, I’m gonna tag @androgynoustyles as usual lol xx

Everything was going fine. The food was delicious, your dad was amazed by Bruce’s house, and he finally accepted the little age gap between you two.

And Bruce? He was way more relaxed than he thought he would be, to be honest. He never actually met the family of any of his previous girlfriends, but he was the one who suggested the dinner. He wanted to take his relationship with you to the next level, so it was time to take the first step, right?

Daddy, can you pass the salt, please?”, you asked, and when you looked up, you saw both your dad and Bruce reaching for the salt.

At that moment, you froze. Their hands touched, and your dad looked at Bruce, clearly confused.

“She said “daddy”, Wayne”, your dad said.

Bruce laughed, looking at you, and then returning his attention to the other man at the table.

“Yeah, I know, I’m sorry. I was actually reaching for the pepper”, your boyfriend said - and yeah, it was such a lame excuse, but apparently worked.

Your dad laughed too, getting the salt and passing it to you, while Bruce actually got the pepper.

“So, (Y/N)… you still call your father “daddy”?”

You mentally cursed Bruce, smiling and looking at him.

“Yeah, she does. It was actually her first word”, your dad told him.

“Why am I not surprised?”, Bruce mumbled to himself.

“She’s been calling me daddy since she was a little baby.”

“Oh, I see. And she still is such a baby girl, isn’t she?”

Bruce looked at you, smirking through his glass of wine.

Asshole, you thought.

The Things She Carried

Part 5. Closer and Closer

Dean x Reader

Masterpost with all the parts

Summary: Dean meets a huntress. Well, he would define her a robot. At least until he gets to know her…

Word Count: 2400+

Tags: @mrswhozeewhatsis @daydreamingintheimpala @mysoul4dean @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @amoreagron @spnfangirl1965 @aristtewinchesterholmes @thisisthelilith @chelsea072498 @skymoonandstardust @apeshit7x @aiaranradnay @anokhi07 @tatortot2701 @jerkbitchidjitassbutt  @mangasia @sharkeeshark @maui137 @electricbluecas @squirrellover1967 @kazchester-fanfiction @gabavaldman @riversong-sam @lavieenlex @mogaruke @zanthiasplace @holywaterbucketchallenge @soullessbabee @loricwizardbluetoastedcake @barneybrigade @extreme-supernatural-lover @imissyoualittlemoreeveryday @iliketowrite02 @stormisamystery @itschelseabennett @samdean-67 @jensen-jarpad @27bmm

Keep reading

Double Lives - Jason Todd x Reader

Prompt: Can you do a Jason one where he meets this amazing girl and they arrange a date but something comes up and texts reader that he’ll be a little late but she is actually a hero too and they team up and neither of them has any idea about the other’s + secret identity but they eventually find out and fluff and humor please?

Hey babe I’m going to be running a little late.’ You phone read. Honestly, you were a relieved by Jason’s text. You were in a bit of a precarious situation and as much as you wanted to be primping for your date right now, you were stuck interfering with a mafia drug operation. To be honest you were just about to text him to delay your date yourself when he beat you to the punch

Your good mood was effectively shot to hell when the obnoxious thorne in your side in a bright Red Hood waltzed into your job and started fucking everything up.

“Motherfucker.” You swore before hurrying in after him. “Would it kill you to get your own fucking job?” You growled at him.

“It’s not my fault you’re not fast enough.” He said.

“Do you really pride yourself on your speed? Your poor girlfriend …” You shook your head in mock sadness. Red Hood chuckled at your burn.

“Oh believe me, I can take my time where it counts.”

“Uh-huh. Well can we hurry this along then? I’ve got a date tonight and I’d really not like to stand this guy up.” You said.

“This one finally a keeper?” He asked.

“Well you don’t need to say it like that. You make it sound like I have a revolving door of boyfriends.” You said. How dare he make assumptions about you. He didn’t even know you past these times where he wouldn’t get out of your hair.

“I never said anything about them being your boyfriends. I’m just implying that maybe you have more suitors than you know what to do with.” He said and you could practically hear the cocky little smirk underneath his hood.

“You disgust me.” You rolled your eyes.

“It’s a compliment!” He replied defensively. “So what’s the poor sucker like?”

“He’s a better man than you’ll ever be.” You retorted.

“Oh ouch you got me. How will I ever recover from that sick burn?” He replied sarcastically. “Whoever he is he sounds lame.”

“He’s not lame. He sweet and strong and funny and loyal and he’s got the biggest heart I’ve ever seen.” You gushed about Jason. All you wanted right now was to be on your date with him but instead you stuck here with this obnoxious loser.

“Sounds to me that he’s lacking in the looks department.”

“Not that it’s any of your business, he’s the sexiest fucking man I’ve ever had the pleasure of dating.” You argued.

“Let me get this straight. He’s nice, he’s sexy, he’s a fucking saint. Correct me if I’m wrong but he seems too good to be true. I think you’re making him up.”

“Why would I make up my boyfriend? You know what, nevermind. Let’s just get this over with.” You said. You had screwed around long enough with the Red Hood. You really didn’t want to stand Jay up again.

“What? So you can go fuck your boyfriend?” He sang teasingly.

“Why hasn’t anyone shot you yet?” You asked in completely amazement.

“It’s not for lack of trying.” He laughed. “Now let’s get you to your prince charming.” He said, cocking his gun and kicking down the door to the compound.

You managed to come out of the scuffle in one piece, the Red Hood however came out with a new slash in his fancy leather jacket that wasn’t there before. The fucker probably had a million other of the stupid jackets just sitting around his evil lair.

As soon as you could you hurried to the restaurant where you were supposed to meet Jason. You hurriedly retouched your makeup and smoothed down you hair in the cab ride. When you got to the restaurant Jason was already there waiting for you. The two of you shared a nice dinner and the two of you eventually left the restaurant to explore the city hand in hand.

You shivered when the cold air hit your skin. Jason noticed this and he immediately put his jacket over your shoulders, holding you closer to him. You were peacefully enjoying your time with Jason when you noticed a rip on the sleeve of Jason’s leather jacket. That hadn’t been there before.

“Hey Jay?” You asked your gaze fixated on the gash in the arm of the jacket. You dreaded the question you were about to ask but somehow you already knew the answer.

“Yeah, [Y/N]?”

“Where did you get this jacket?” You asked.

“Oh it’s just something that I’ve had for a while. Sorry about the sleeve, it got caught this morning and wouldn’t you know it just ripped.” He replied vaguely.

“Jason this question might seem really odd but I need you to answer me honestly. Please. My sanity hinges on it.” You pleaded.

“Is something wrong?” Jason asked.

“Jason, are you the Red Hood?” You asked slowly. He was taken aback by your question but he also didn’t deny it. You could see it in his face. You were right.

“Oh my god!” You cried pushing Jason away from you. You removed his jacket and shoved it to his chest.

“Oh shit you’re -” Jason said, suddenly seeing the side of you that you had fought so hard to separate your private life from. “[Y/N]! Look! I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I swear!”

“I can’t believe this.” You groaned. You tried to walk ahead of him and flag down a cab but he caught your hand and turned you back around in his arms.

“Look I know we hate each other on a professional level but I care for you. Please, [Y/N], I still want this if you do.” Jason pleaded.

“I don’t know Jason. This is fucking insane.” You replied hesitantly.

“I’m still me. All that shit that you said about me earlier, it’s all still true. I haven’t changed.” He insisted.

“You said my boyfriend was too good to be true.” You argued.

“I still stand by that statement.” He shot back. “But I’ll have you know that my girlfriend is the sexiest fucking woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of dating and I would very much like to keep it that way.” He said quoting your words directly. 

“You’re such an asshole.” You replied straight-faced.

“But I am your asshole?” He asked. You rolled your eyes, grabbed him by the shirt, and roughly collided you lips with his. You kissed passionately below a flickering street lamp for a few countless minutes before you pulled away.

“I’m still mad at you.”