oh look it's your favorite thing

anonymous asked:

Courage, cutie, religion, one, makeup and blush :)

courage- are you a strong athlete 

oh dear god no. i’m on my own atm and i bought this jar of pickled cabbage that i was really looking forward to eating. but I CANT OPEN IT IM SO WEAK AND SO SAD

cutie- what’s your favorite orange thing

i have this bottle of perfume i bought in hong kong last year and it smells like the purest essence of mandarin, its so wonderful and summery and i’ve been wearing it everyday aaa <333

religion- do you practice religion - what religion if so

nope. atheist down to the bone.

 one- are you a competitive person

it sounds incredibly immature but… yes, only when i know i can win. if not, then i have a pretty defeatist attitude and i give up really easily haha ^^;;

makeup- what is your most heavily used makeup product 

FELT TIP EYELINER PEN FUCK IT MAKES ME BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH

blush- are you easily embarrassed 

yessss, terribly easily orz i had really bad social anxiety as a teenager and it pretty much stemmed from a fear of embarrassment. 

A-Z NSFW: Chen

Originally posted by sooranghaes

Cr.

Donate | Masterlist

A = Aftercare 
This entire post is going to go in the complete opposite direction of this lmao but of course he’s going to take care of you well afterwards. Lesson learned kids, if anyone you’re with brushes off aftercare, kick their ass to the curb, cuz they don’t care about you. Chen’s a shower and relax together, wash each other gently kind of aftercare guy. Plus he wants to cuddle afterwards and no one wants sticky, smelly, gross cuddles.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 
I’m not gonna even try and pretend I don’t think Chen is the most perverted of the bunch lmao he always has his hands on your chest. Just…fun to touch tbh. Chen’s abs are coming in pretty nicely, I sure he’s pretty proud of them, his muscles in general are his favorite thing about himself although we all knows its his forehead

C = Cum 
Nana: oh he’s a nasty little shit. He’s that fucker than jizzes in your goddamn hair and you have to wash it as quick as you can before it dries and it looks like your entire scalp is just shedding…

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) 
Chen really wants to bring it up, because sex is pretty open between you two and all, so he’s not really ashamed, just doesn’t know how to throw it out there, especially since he’s normally the pretty dom one in the bedroom. He likes the idea of being blindfolded and handing the reigns over to you so he has no idea what you’re up to or will do next. But he will tell you…soon…maybe….

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Man I don’t trust his hoe ass….I feel like he’s done stuff already but idk, either way, he knows too fucking much and it makes me nervous. He’s a grown man, I doubt he’s never heard of porn, and the fucking dick popping EXO does, he knows what he’s up to.

F = Favorite position
While he’s kinky, he’s a pretty simple man, plain missionary with your legs tossed over his shoulders is a good go-to for him. Easy position for him to have fun, and you’re kind of tramped a bit, seeing as you’re literally folded in half under his body. You’ll probably need to stretch before hand….I tried putting my leg behind my head the other day cuz I could when I was a kid and I was sure I was going to have to amputate my leg…

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
Chen’s kind of a clown, but I think he gets pretty serious and into his ‘character’ in the bedroom. He’s not the soft and floofy Jongdae he usually is, he’s full blown Chen behind closed doors.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they)
His pits are wild smh I weirdly don’t think he trims or anything down there, I don’t know why, but he just gives me the vibes that he just lets it run free and have a life of its own….

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
Chen’s another member that makes up for his lack of romance in the bedroom in your non-sexual relationship. Of course there’s times he tones it back and really shows you his love; makes love to you rather than fucking. But on the norm, he’s a pretty wild man in the sack.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation)
Pfff who are we playing, Chen jerks off like mad. But lord knows he can’t make a mess in the dorm room with Xiu being his roomie or the older would literally kill him. He takes shelter in the bathroom and handles business like anyone else.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
His secret is he wants to be blindfolded, mainly because you look and react so well when he blindfolds you. He loves seeing your body relaxed and tense all at the same time, never knowing where he is or what he’ll do next; never knowing what he’ll touch next. Watching your skin prickle and your body flinch and you squirm when he brushes a feather against your skin is just art to him.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)
[See Risk] Bedroom/Bathroom are really the only two options in his mind, but being that he’s very adventurous with positions, the bathroom isn’t really safe so the bed is pretty much where most of the magic happens.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Chen’s usually pretty blunt with his advances, there’s no sly looks or catching on that you touching his arms means you want to fuck, he just straight out says, “I want to fuck”, and life goes on. But he likes how subtle you try to be, especially when the boys are around, your light touch on his thigh until he turns his attention to you and he can see your eyes clouded with lust. The idea of what will happen later in his mind while you wear that innocent face, it really gets his boner party going.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
[Plays into Risk] Chen’s a kink freak and we all know this, but he doesn’t like anyone else but you knowing it, so he’s not here for leaving the safety and privacy of the locked bedroom. Under no circumstances will he leave the bathroom or bedroom, don’t even try.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Do I….do I have to say anything else?

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
I feel like Chen’s a…humper if that makes sense, he’s pretty fast and hard, but he’s not full blown thrusting into you, more like quick pumps because he likes having your body close to his and doesn’t really want to pull away and lose that contact, even for a second.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
While he’s a horny pup, he’s ready and willing to go, unless you want a quickie I don’t see him doing them much. He likes to please you and stretch out the foreplay and tease you for as long as humanly possible. It’s arguably his favorite part of sex, having you all hot and squirming for him, so if that’s cut out of the equation for a quickie, he’s not that thrilled. Quickies do happen frequently though, back stage at concerts or before he has to leave for his schedule, but he’s not too impressed with them. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
I feel like he’s a guy that lives by the kamasutra book, he wants to try a lot of stuff, almost anything just once to see what the point is. He’s not very risky with places, like he doesn’t like leaving the bedroom, but doing things with you, he’s all ears….or dick…whatever you wanna say.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
Nana says he’s fuck happy. So basically she says that he’s a quick fuck, dick in a hole only lasts a few minutes, 10 minutes tops, but he’s up and ready for another round so quick you don’t know what’s going on. So Chen’s stamina is pretty high…almost unusually high….

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
I don’t trust him….he gives me the vibe of he’s so nasty that you don’t need toys, but he’s such a little shit that I feel like he collects the shit like pokemon? He’s definitely has handcuffs, vibrators, specific silk ties he likes the cool feel on, a few feathers…..

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He’s….a little fucking shit…..I can see him teasing you to the point you’re literally crying. Like he ain’t stopping unless you use the safe word to tell him to fuck you or fuck off.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
Umm high note master Kim Jongdae? It sounds like a fucking opera in that bedroom tf ?? Chen’s a very loud moaner…The whole damn town, let alone the members will hear you and him, I’d invest into some ear plugs if I was you….

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Chen’s a pretty kinky fucker in my mind…and we all know for a fact he’s going to want to try some weird ass position. The first time a legit cramp set in from the stretch, he went into a full state of panic, you had to literally pry the phone from his hands to stop him from calling an ambulance. For someone that dances and works out, he really didn’t grasp the concept of mid-sex cramps. God help him.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Lmao I hate my grandma…..okay here we fckin go. I asked my 60 year old Nana and she said “he’s like the package of hot dogs you get on sale because one’s kinda fucked up. He’s the fucked up one.” aka in her mind, means that he’s slightly below average in length, and more narrow/slender than typical, but he’s just a horn dog that he’ll “hump you into next week” bye

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Nana says, and I quote, Chen is a “horny dog that needs his nutters snipped so he calms the fck down”. And Nana’s word is law. Chen’s sex drive is out of this world, he needs to see a doctor and get some pills to mellow his ass out tbh.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
I think Chen is kind of a lazy guy, after sex he’s pretty fckin beat, and ready to just shower and hit the hay. So he falls asleep pretty fast, but tbh he’s just eager to wake up and jump your bones again.

6

February spits; not a lot for this month but that’s fine also you can totally tell which one’s the favorite

10

Whooooa heeeeeey, Sketchdump Sunday!

That’s right, it’s time for another handful of RANDOM SKETCHES AND UNFINISHED/UNRELEASED PIECES! WHEEEE!

Today’s sketchdump features the emotional guilt tripping of a tiny miqo’te who demands we fight primals for stickers. I’m on to you, tinycatte! I see your game! Also included is Cakedad (who was almost Pizzadad in my FC! But it just doesn’t have the same ring as Cakedad), a bunch of random Bee-Doing-Bee-Things doodles, Mara escaping from a giant birb while stealing all the internet’s most treasured birb pics, a concept sketch for a baby D’riz that I forgot to post forever ago, and a magitek ahriman that was requested as a mount. :B

OH AND BONUS DOODLES  (that didn’t fit in the main set) :V

He sure did.

Probably lewd things, Momodi.

“Song of Doomy-whatsit now?”

anonymous asked:

How would uf,ut, and us sans react to their s/o's ex coming back saying their still in love with them and that they should forget about sans?

UF!Sans: Its a good date. The two of you have something of a banter going back and forth. He’s finally starting to feel like he’s getting over that awkward transition between friendship and something more. ‘Course, this time it wasn’t all his fault. You were still getting over how it had ended with your ex. He didn’t know them, per se, but he knew they were a real piece of work.

Either way, for today at least, it feels easier. It feels right.

“No, no way.” You laugh. “There is no fuckin way Papyrus sleeps with a nightlight.”

He grins. “’s the truth.”

“Seriously? Tall, Dark and Edgy?”

“Yup” he chuckles. “Used to be really bad when the power would knock off Underground. Loudest I’ve ever heard him yell is when Alphys banged up the Core energy lines to our place. He didn’t sleep for a week.”

“Holy shit.” You grin and shake your head. “Why the hell would you tell me that, now I’m not gonna be able to take him seriously now.”

“Well, do me a favor,” he slipped an arm around your waist. “Make an effort, or its both our asses.”

You lean slightly into him. “I think I can take him.”

“I’d pay to see you try.”

“How much?”

“That depends, how much are you wearin’ during the fight”

You shove his shoulder and grin slightly as he laughs when a sudden voice behind you makes both of you jump slightly.”

“Y/N”

He feels you stiffen and you take a sip of your drink. Your fists clench slightly. “Fuck off.”

“Y/n….come on, I just need a chance.”

“You had a chance. You had fucking twenty. I’m all out.”

He feels his shoulders rising unconsciously as a hard angry knot forms in his rib cage. So this is the Asshole.

They come around from behind you, grabbing your hand and getting way too close for his tastes, but he doesn’t move yet. See what you do. “Baby-”

“Don’t you fucking dare.” You yank your hand out of their grip, and the sting of jealousy is soothed. Yeah, buddy, walk away….not in the mood to pick another fight today…

“Come on, sweetie, what we had was so good, you don’t really wanna give it up, do you?”

“Oh, real good,” you snorted. “I can’t tell what my favorite part was, the looking at other people or the making me feel like shit for breathing your air. Really, there’s too much to choose from.”

They sigh, like they’re the ones suffering. Like they’re dealing with an unreasonable child. Then its like they notice him all of a sudden. “Who the hell is this?”

“This,” he growled. “would be Sans. The current boyfriend.”

“You got a new boyfriend?” They looked at you furiously.

“Funny thing about being broken up.” you say. “You get to do this wild thing called moving on. In my case to greener pastures.”

There’s a slight thrill traveling up his spine. Proud. You’re proud to be seen with him, Proud to rub it in their face.

“I don’t like him.” They shook their head.

“Well, shame, ‘cause I was really hopin to get the invite to your birthday party.” he bit out.

“Y/n, look at him.” they say, leaning into your face a little too close again. “He clearly just wants to get you back home so he can feel you up.”

You slam your drink down and whirl on them, making both of them jump. “’Cause that’s all I’m good for, right? You’ve used that one before. Every friend I made you told me wanted me for one thing and one thing only. Newsflash, I’m not buyin the shit you’re selling.”

“You’re being irrational. Look, let’s just…let’s get you home, okay? We can talk about this.” You make no move and they snatch your wrist.

Too far.

A whisper and crackle of magic and suddenly your ex finds themselves with a hand wrapped painfully around their arm.

“What the hell-”

“they said they’re not interested.” His eye is lit up with red, pulsing magic and his voice is a barely discernable growl. “so let. them. go.”

Slightly cowed, your ex turns pale and drops your hand.

“‘scuse us a second, doll.” he plants a hand firmly on the back of your exes neck as he steers them out of the building.

He comes back a few minutes looking somewhat smug. He won’t tell you what happened (although once pressed he promises he didn’t actually hurt the jackass). Still, the future is brightly ex-less. You see them once or twice more but the second they lay eyes on Sans they’re speedwalking in the opposite direction.

UT!Sans: Its a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing. Flowers are blooming. On days like this, people like your ex….

It had been going so well. For once you had managed to drag Sans’ ass out of bed before 3. You’d had the day off, so the two of you had gone to the park, just to wander around, shoot the breeze a bit. Also, Sans insisted on sampling every hot dog cart in the area.

“Seriously, is this like an ego thing for you?” You say as he dumps the fifth one in your arms. “Trying to prove your stuff was better or something?”

“Nah, ’m too lazy to be competitive.” He grinned, biting into his first one. “Just wanna find out what it tastes like without water sausages.”

“…..you need five for that?”

“Scientific process, babe.” He finishes off the first and moves onto devouring the next. “Gotta compare as many as I can to the control group so I can identify variables.”

You roll your eyes and grin. “Pulling the science thing on me, very good move. Almost distracts me from the fact that you’re full of shit.”

“No, ‘m full of hot dogs.” He grins and moves onto the third. “And-”

“Babe?”

Your shoulders go stiff and you have to force yourself to relax them. You turn around slowly to see your ex. Suitcase in hand, clothes as formal as you remember. Must be on lunch break. It had been a mistake coming this close to their work.

Out of the corner of your eye you see Sans raise a brow, but he stays mercifully quiet.

“I’ve been calling you. Over and over.”

“I know.” You stuff your hands in your pockets, somewhat defensively. “I’ve been ignoring it. Over and over.”

“Why? Am I not worth an answer?” they say. “All that time….and I don’t even get an explanation for you ripping out my heart?”

You know what they’re doing. And its working. That familiar guilt is setting in, and all of a sudden all that matters is them and how they’re feeling. You feel selfish, useless, a burden. “Look, you’re…..you’re right. I should’ve explained myself. I probably owed you that. But…..I can’t do it anymore. I can be with you anymore.”

“What are you talking about, why not?” They seem to notice Sans. “Who’s this.”

“Heya. Sans the skeleton.” Sans says, wiping his face a bit. “I’m….well, their current boyfriend. Guessing you’re the ex they won’t talk about.” He’s clearly trying to stay polite, but there’s an undertone that you know means he’s bristling a bit. 

There’s a look in your ex’s eyes as their eyes travel up and down Sans. A mild disdain. You’d seen that look before, directed at a few friends, and you know they’re looking at the sweatshirt, the old ketchup stains on the hood, the basketball shorts and slippers, and already deciding you’ve lost your mind.

“Y/n….who are you kidding?”

“What?”

“Look, if this was….I don’t know, some crazy attempt to make me jealous or something, you could’ve at least picked a better candidate.” They give Sans another look, the derision even more evident. “Look, let’s just go home, okay? I get off in a few hours, we can talk about this then.”

“No! Look, I told you, I can’t-”

“Don’t be stupid.” They say coolly. “You and I both know you can’t live without me.

“Hey, buddy,” Sans says. “I’m not appreciatin the tone you’re taking.”

“Look, Sam, was it?” They say, voice and face mocking every inch of the skeleton. “Sorry to waste your time, but y/n and I have a good thing going.”

Had.” Sans corrects. “And based on this little interaction I have to wonder how good it really was.”

“Alright, sure, we’re in a rough patch right now. But we’re meant for each other. I know them better than anyone.”

“I-”

“Y/n.” they cut you off. “Go home. I’ll be there in a bit.”

You’re about to retort when you feel Sans’ hand grab yours and squeeze it. “Welp, you heard them babe.” He comes up closer and grins at you. “Let’s go home.”

Before they can say another word he’s short-cutted both of you home.

Okay, so maybe running away again isn’t the healthiest way to deal with it. But you’re too relieved to be out of there to really be concerned with it. 

Truth be told, that little interaction cut Sans deeper than he’ll want to tell you. Everything in that look of your ex’s had echoed every self-conscious thought he’d ever had. But one things for sure.

“They don’t know shit about you.”

US!Sans: “Come on!” You say, body gearing up for his next move. “Show me what you got.”

               His attacks suddenly fade out and the glow in his eyes diminishes somewhat. “AFTER YOU’VE RESTED A BIT.”

               “Aw, come on!”

               He smiled and shook his head. “A QUICK WATER BREAK. YOU LOOK DEAD ON YOUR FEET.”

               “Well, we can’t all be perfect.” You mutter. Your boyfriend looks barely winded despite the fact that you’ve been at it for almost an hour and a half now. Still, you comply and sit down at the bench near the sparring area.

               He picks up the water bottles from by your bags and hands you one, kissing your temple. “YOU’RE DOING WELL, THOUGH.”

               “Still haven’t landed a blow on you.” You say, taking a drink.

               “YOU’VE ONLY JUST STARTED TRAINING WITH ME. YOU’LL GET THERE SOON, I’M CERTAIN.” His eyes trace a few bruises on your arm and face that you’ve acquired since the session began. “ARE YOU SURE YOU DON’T WANT ME TO HEAL THOSE?”

               You shake your head. “Just a couple of bruises, you don’t need to waste the magic. Besides, they’ll help me learn from my mistakes.”

               He looks uncertain, but there’s a flicker of pride in those eyes that warms you down to your SOUL.

               You’d been training with Sans for almost a month now, ever since Alphys had finally convinced the gym owners to set up a sparring area for former (or current, if Sans had his way) Royal Guard members. You figured if Sans was going to spend all his time here, you might as well get something out of it.

               It’d been one of the hardest things you’d ever done, but also one of the most rewarding. You were in better shape than you’d ever been. You were feeling better than you ever had. And you were certain it had brought you closer as a couple. Which was good. With all the baggage you were carrying from the last relationship, you needed all the help you could get.

               And as if thoughts had summoned them someone on the far side gym turned and made eye contact with you, and you felt your blood turn to ice.

               Blue seemed to notice you stiffen. “Y/N? ARE YOU ALRIGHT?”

               “Sans, can we-“ You’re about to ask if you can make a hasty retreat, but its too late, they see you and are striding right toward you.

               “Babe?!”

               Sans’ eyes widen a fraction and he looks at the oncoming figure while dread settles in the pit of your stomach.

               “What the hell are you doing here with that?!”

               You grit your teeth. “We’ve been over this. I don’t want to talk to you. Ever again.”

               “Is this what you’ve been doing?!” They look torn between fury, confusion, and sadness. “Going around with one of those things?”

               Sans has gone quiet. He seems to be trying to piece it together.

               “That thing,” You say, rising to your feet. “is my boyfriend. And I want you to go. Now.”

               “Babe, what are you…..he’s a monster!”

               “That fact hasn’t exactly escaped me.” You say acidly, and your heart is pounding and you hate yourself for getting this worked up again over this piece of shit and please, stars, just let them leave, don’t make Sans see this.

               “And that doesn’t bother you?! I…..holy shit….” You can feel their eyes tracing the bruises. “Has he been hitting you?!”

               “No!” You say, fighting the urge to cover them. “Look, just get the hell out of here, okay?”

               “Baby, I don’t understand, we were so good, and if you just-“

               “We weren’t!” You say, laughing somewhat incredulously. “We were stars-awful for each other! I hate how I felt with you. I hate how I made you feel with me. I don’t want it to be like that again! Hard as it may be for you to believe, I’m actually happy here. I’m happy with him!”

               They shake their head. “I don’t fuckin believe you. I give you everything, work my ass off for this relationship, and you throw it off to be some monster’s squeeze? And you’re covered with bruises and I’m supposed to buy that he hasn’t hit you? They’re savages, everyone knows it.” They dart forward before you can blink and grab your hand, dragging you away. “We’re going home.”

               You try to pull away, but before you can try to hard there’s a cyan blur and you’re turned loose, while your ex is being held by Sans, in such a position that they aren’t being hurt but they can’t move.

               “Let go of me!”

               “I’M SORRY. BUT I CAN’T ALLOW YOU TO SPEAK TO THEM LIKE THAT. WHILE I’M CERTAIN I COULD WIN YOU OVER IN ANY OTHER CASE,” he glanced at you. “YOUR BEHAVIOR TOWARDS THEM HAS CROSSED THE LINE. THEY’VE CLEARLY INDICATED THEY WOULD PREFER FOR YOU TO LEAVE. I’M GOING TO REPEAT THAT REQUEST, AND IF YOU DON’T, THEN I’LL BE FORCED TO KEEP YOU TRAPPED UNTIL YOU AGREE.”

               They struggle a bit before realizing that for as small as Sans is, there’s no getting away from him. Red-faced and humiliated, they mutter “Fine” and Sans turns them loose.

               They start walking away, sneering at you one last time. “Fine. Have fun with your pipsqueak monster boyfriend. When you come crawling back, I’ll try my best not to slam the door in your face.” They storm off, pick up their bag, and leave the building.

               You sit back down on the bench, breathing deep. Sans is at your side, kneeling in front of you and lifting your face to look at him. “ARE YOU ALRIGHT?”

               “Y….yeah.” You shake your head a bit to clear it. “Sorry, just…been awhile since our last encounter. Last one was even worse.”

               “I’D BE HESITANT TO SPEAK ILL OF SOMEONE YOU WERE CLEARLY…INVOLVED WITH.” He said hesitantly. “BUT I’D SAY YOU WERE BETTER OFF WITHOUT PAYING MIND TO THEM.”

               You laugh softly. “Yeah. Definitely.”

               “DO YOU FEEL UP TO CONTINUING OUR TRAINING, OR WOULD YOU PREFER TO GO HOME?”

               You pause for a second. “You know what? I think I’ve got some energy to burn off. Just, uh,” You smile a little ruefully. “Maybe training dummies. Got somethin I need to visualize hitting right now.”

               His mouth quirks slightly in a smile and he kisses your forehead. “ALRIGHT.” He stands up and pulls you to your feet. “LET ME DEMONSTRATE THAT MANUEVER I MENTIONED EARLIER…”

Late Night Talks

Sam Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 722

Warnings: just fluff, and brief mention of… black ooze?

Request: “Sam can’t sleep so his girlfriend plays with his hair and talks him to” – Anon

Originally posted by unairedepisodes

Sam rolled over, checking the small clock on the table beside him. 3:48am. This was so unlike him. Usually, after a successful hunt, Sam passed out before ten. The toll of the fight and hours of research usually hit him like an eighteen-wheeler. And since he was a morning person, usually up by six or so, he made it a point to be asleep before midnight.

But, tonight was different.

He rolled over onto his other side, facing your sleeping form. The smell from your freshly washed hair filled his senses, making him smile. He instinctually wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you close.

You yawned as your eyes opened. “You’re still up?” you asked in a groggy voice. You turned your body to face him, the soft features of your face painted with a look of concern. “Sam, it’s late—early—whatever.” You crinkled your nose. “What’s up?”

Sam licked his lips. “I just can’t sleep,” he answered honestly.

Keep reading

Otters? Hybrid!ReaderxYoungjae

Otters? Hybrid!Reader x Choi Youngjae

Words: 1.3k

Summary: You are an Otter Hybrid who volunteers at an Animal Shelter, someone else had volunteered not long after you, you had to teach him some things. Turns out, he loves otters.

Originally posted by youngjai



Today you had to get up at 5am. It was early for you but you had to show the new volunteer the racks. So you happily agreed, seeing as you had nothing else to do. You particularly didn’t get along as well with the dogs, so you stayed with the small rodents and cats. The new volunteer did too. You were a Hybrid and you will never let anyone know about it, that’s why a lot of animals liked you a lot.

Jumping out of bed with a groan you dragged yourself to the bathroom to go take a shower. You loved water and could sit and swim in it all day if you could. Probably just your otter instincts you guessed. You had gotten out with a sigh, you really did love water. You dried your hair and got on your t-shirt given by the organization you volunteered for and slipped a hat onto your head to hide your ears. You put on some makeup to highlight your weasel-like face. You smiled contently as you had gotten a little drawstring bag packed and ready. You slapped on your name tag and ran down your stairs and out your door.

You hummed slightly as the shelter was only 5 minutes away, you had gotten a text as you had exited the car, arriving at the shelter. The text said where your position was today,

“Y/N, you are assigned to the weasels/rodents today, I’m assigning the other volunteer with you. His name is Choi Youngjae. Please take care of him today, sincerely, your boss.”

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allisonpregler  asked:

I never noticed Alex Winter's shoulder fishing lures in Lost Boys until your posts and now it's my favorite detail

oh it’s my absolute favorite part of his look

what i love is that it’s so inexplicable in an outfit that already doesn’t make an ounce of sense. who decided this needed to be a thing. why did they do this. we’ll never know.

Vampire!Jungkook

And last but certainly not least is our maknae, the half cheetah half bunny, Jeon Jungkook aka Kookie aka can I just take a moment to talk about his eyes bc oh my god I love eyes, eyes are probably my favorite facial feature on people bc they can tell so much about the person and I once wrote like an entire series based off of Jungkook’s eyes tbh like they’re just so !! one of my favorite things about the way he dances is the look he gets in his eyes bc it just pierces your soul and it’s so intense but not intimidating like its a perfect balance and I just I love his eyes

  • While Tae and Hobi are pretty similar, Kookie and Yoongi are also similar  
  • Jungkook can be a shy lil bun
  • While he’s definitely broken out of his shell a lot since No More Dream, he can still have his moments of shyness
  • Like anything that involves girls is just nope no n o
  • It’s actually really cute though??
  • Bc he literally goes from :) to o.o within 0.1 seconds whenever he sees someone of the other gender
  • Like in that idols athletic thing that I can never remember the full name of, he was just walking minding his own business
  • Then he sees some girls and just swerves out of the way like nope not today
  • Like I’m sure one day he’ll be more comfortable around them but he's been in bts for quite some time now
  • And he had to train as well so it’s probably been a few years since he’s had a lot of interaction with them  
  • So it’s understandable that he’s still a bit whoa around girls  
  • But he’s a bit more versatile
  • He doesn’t really mind having company but he also doesn’t mind being alone
  • He’s a bit more open to the others coming along with him
  • But the chances of him offering are most often pretty rare
  • Every now and then he’ll invite Jin or Jimin along with him
  • The other boys tend to just help themselves and join him like hey btw I’m gonna crash on your couch for like a couple months, maybe a decade or so idk yet
  • He does however love the night
  • I just see kook as such a night person he just seems like one I sense a night owl
  • He is a born vampire
  • He wasn’t born too long ago, in the early 1900s
  • Fun fact Taehyung is the youngest vampire wise
  • His parents were very open and honest about being a vampire like hey kid it can suck (haha) sometimes but we’ll help you through it
  • Okay but can we talk about how kook could totally pull off a vampire look
  • Like Danger is literally just vampire!kook
  • But also lowkey WOH is too
  • Basically black hair kookie is just vampire!kookie
  • BUT ALSO
  • The Halloween video
  • Ik he wasn’t really a vampire in it but the whole makeup look was close enough
  • It was just so amazing and it fit him like he looks s o good in black I need it
  • Why does no one talk about how he had a fucking whip in that is that just something we all silently agreed to brush under the rug
  • You two meet in modern day
  • You first meet Tae and you two are quick to become friends bc its tae he moves quickly
  • It takes him like a year to introduce you to kook though
  • He wants to make sure you’re as compatible with kookie as he think you’d be
  • Like he puts you through these lowkey tests
  • Like how do you handle being around someone who’s a bit shier
  • Do you guys meet each other’s required qualities in a partner??
  • One of the other things he does is play you the music kookie recommends to him
  • Like just hey I found this new song what do you think of it
  • You tend to like them a lot and he’s just so happy
  • He’s got this huge plan of how he wants you to meet
  • He wants kookie to “accidentally” bump into you right and then kookie would hear the song he recommended to tae playing through your earphones and it’s just an instant connection and Tae would be able to brag about how he got you two together
  • The first meeting doesn’t really go according to plan though
  • He does get kookie to bump into you by lowkey pushing him but all you two do is apologize to each other and keep on walking after you say hello to tae
  • He takes a minute to realize his plan didn’t work
  • He’s just standing there like wait what just happened and kooks like a few steps ahead before he sees tae’s still frozen and everyone’s just confused
  • Plan B comes into play next
  • Plan B is for tae to tell both of you to check out the same book for him when he’s “not feeling well enough to get it myself but I really need it for an upcoming essay”
  • He sends you in there before he sends kook but neither of you have any idea about the other
  • Once again his plan fails though bc someone else had already checked the book
  • He finally goes to his final plan which is just the good old-fashioned introducing you to each other
  • “So I actually have a story to tell you guys about this whole thing but that’s for later, for now, this is Jungkook, the guy I was telling you about”
  • That plan actually does work though
  • You two just instantly click and he’s so so sweet and charming
  • He gets a bit shy around you for the first few months bc shy lil maknae but you actually find it endearing??
  • Like he spends most of your second date staring at your hands and wondering if you’d mind if he held yours?? like is that too far is it too soon do you wanna hold his hand??
  • He ends up grabbing your hand when you get up and you just smile at him and squeeze his fingers and he melts right then and there he’s gone
  • He takes the longest to tell you he’s a vampire
  • Here’s the thing I think kook would take a minute to fall in love
  • He would wait a bit longer bc he just ends up worrying that you’ll leave him if you find out and it’s his first love so it’s really !!!
  • He eventually gets brave enough after getting several pep talks from the boys
  • He tells you the night of your second anniversary and he’s holding his breath the entire time and he’s v v carefully watching your face to see your reaction
  • You’re honestly just intrigued by it
  • “What’s it like? Do you need to drink blood like it says in the books? Does sunlight burn you”
  • He’s s o relieved and he answers all of your questions honestly like he doesn’t shy away from any of the answers bc he wants you to know everything and it just feels really great to have that weight off of his shoulders
  • Okay but I have a head canon here
  • Jungkook and you get married right
  • It doesn’t happen for a few decades after he turns you but it does happen
  • During his speech, Tae finally tells you guys about Plan A and B 
  • Everyone just starts laughing and the boys are all tearing up bc they remember hearing the stories of when you two first started dating
  • Even though he tries to hide it, kook’s lowkey crying (out of happiness of course) and you just kiss his lil cheek and hold his hand all tight
  • And you can feel his ring against your finger and you know he can feel yours and it’s just all beautiful
A Normal Amount

This drabble is lovingly dedicated to @allykat023​ who lets me yell about things like Yuuri being a dinosaur kid. 

One Sentence Summary: Victor quickly finds out how much Yuuri likes loves dinosaurs.

Super serious Author’s Note: if the thought of dinosaurs no longer being a live upsets you please don’t read!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Victor loves learning new things about Yuuri.

The way his eyes shine when he’s talking about one of his passions and especially the little shimmy Yuuri unconsciously does when he’s really excited about something.

So when he saw the way Yuuri’s face lit up as he nodded enthusiastically at Mari’s mention of a new dinosaur fossil discovery, he absolutely wanted to explore this love of dinosaurs. Although Yuuri mentioned that he was fond of visiting museums on his trips to new cities, he’d never mentioned anything specifically about his interest in dinosaurs.

“Yuuri, you never told me that you had an interest in dinosaurs,” Victor said, smiling.  

“Oh…yeah I did. A little bit. When I was a kid,” Yuuri said softly.  At that Mari snorted with laughter and Yuuri’s cheeks colored slightly.

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eastaustraliancurrent  asked:

Heyo I just stumbled across your art and it is now the very substance I need to keep me alive. Thank you so much for contributing to the fandom, I love all your art so much!!!!!!!! Also your art has inspired to get back to my own art so thank you for that. OH AND ALSO IVE BEEN STRUGGLING TO DRAW CHARLES' HAIR FOR A LIFETIME AND AFTER SEEING THE WAY YOU DRAW HIS HAIR I THINK IVE FIGURED OUT BLESS YOU

This is the sweetest most amazing message I’ve received in so long! Seriously thank you so much! I am so so happy that I helped inspire you to start drawing again, its such a wonderful thing to do! I am so excited to see what you draw and contribute, I’m gonna be tracking your tag!!!

OH AND CHARLES’S HAIR IS MY FAVORITE I MADE A QUICK GUIDE

or if an older charles is what your looking for

makingdiamondsoutofwreckage  asked:

I always take a gander at your Jearmin fan work. It's lovely, and so is your art style. I was curious if you were going to continue anything with the comic you did for Jearmin week about condoms and 'Protect... ion'? Hahaha. The banter and how Jean and Armin were is my favorite thing. I keep thinking there needs to be a fanfic or more comics with the way you've set up their relationship dynamic. You have a lovely day and I look forward to more work as you are able to share them! 💕

Oh thank you, that’s very nice to hear! I will be doing more for jearmin week next month but if you mean the events directly after that comic..

You have a great day

  • psychic: *reads my mind*
  • me: Onward, Chauncey! To the highest room of the tallest tower... ...where my princess awaits rescue from her handsome Prince Oharming! This is worse than "Love Leters". I hate dinner theater! Me, too. Whoa there, Chauncey! Hark! The brave Prince Harming approacheth. Fear not, fair maiden. I shall slay the monster that guards you... ...then take my place as rightful king. What did she say? It's Shrek! Whoo, Shrek, yeah! Prepare, foul beast... ...to enter into a world of pain with which you are not familiar! Happy birthday to thee Happy birthday to thee Do you mind? Do you mind? Boring! Prepare, foul beast... Someday you'll be sorry. We already are! Mommy... You're right. I can't let this happen. I can't! I am the rightful King of Far Far Away. And I promise you this, Mother... ...I will restore dignity to my throne. And this time, no one will stand in my way. Good morning. Good morning. Morning breath. I know. Isn't it wonderful? Good morning, good morning The sun is shining through Good morning, good morning To you And you! And you! They grow up so fast. Not fast enough. You'll be filling in for the King and Queen. Several functions require your attendance, sir. Great! Let's get started. Come on, lazybones. Time to get moving! You need to get a pair ofjammies. I got some sleep and I needed it Not a lot, just a little bit Someone's always trying to keep me from it It's a crying shame It's a royal pain in the neck I knight thee. If you're filling in for a king, you should look like one. Can somebody come in and work on Shrek? I will see what I can do. Yeah, wow. Is this really necessary? Quite necessary, Fiona. - I'm Shrek, you twit. - Whatever. This isn't a rehearsal, peoples. Let's see some hustle! Smiles, everyone! Smiles! I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I'm sorry, but can you just try to grin and bear it? It's just until Dad gets better. Shrek? You look handsome. Come here, you. My but is itching up a storm and I can't reach it in this monkey suit. Hey, you! Come here. What's your name? Fiddlesworth, sir. Perfect. Ladies and gentlemen... ...Princess Fiona and Sir Shrek! Ahh! You've got it. A little to the left. That's it! That's good. Oh, yeah! Scratch that thing! You're on it. Shrek! My eye! What are you doing? Fiona! - Are you okay? - Yeah. I'm fine. Shrimp! My favorite! - That's it! We're leaving! - Calm down. Calm down? Who do you think we're kidding? I am an ogre. I'm not cut out for this, Fiona, and I never will be. I think that went well. Donkey! Come on, Shrek! Some people just don't understand boundaries. Just think. A couple more days and we'll be back home... ...in our vermin-filled shack strewn with fungus... ...and filled with the stench of mud and neglect. You had me at "vermin-filled". And, um... maybe even the piter-pater of little feet on the floor. That's right, the swamp rats will be spawning. Uh, no. What I'm thinking of is a little bigger than a swamp rat. Donkey? No, Shrek. What if, theoretically... ...they were little ogre feet? Honey, let's be rational about this. Have you seen a baby lately? They just eat and poop, and they cry... ...then they cry when they poop and poop when they cry. Now, imagine an ogre baby. They extra-cry and they extra-poop. Shrek, don't you ever think about having a family? Right now, you're my family. Somebody better be dying. I'm dying. Harold? Don't forget to pay the gardener, Lillian. Of course, darling. Fiona. Yes, Daddy? I know I made many mistakes with you. It's okay. But your love for Shrek has... ...taught me much. My dear boy... ...I am proud to call you my son. And I'm proud to call you my frog... ...King dad-in-law. Now there is a mater of business to attend to. The Frog King... is dead. Put your hat back on, fool. Shrek... ...please come hither. Yeah, Dad? This kingdom needs a new king. You and Fiona are next in line for the throne. Next in line. You see, Dad, that's why people love you. Even on your deathbed, you're still making jokes. Come on, Dad. An ogre as king? That's not such a good idea. There must be somebody else. Anybody! Aside from you, there is only one remaining heir. Really? Who is he, Dad? His name is... ...is... What's his name? ...is... Daddy! His name is Arthur. Arthur? I know you'll do... ...what's right. Harold? Dad? Dad! Dad? Do your thing, man. When you were young and your heart Was an open book You used to say live and let live You know you did, you know you did You know you did But if this ever changing world In which we live in Makes you give in and cry Say live and let die Live and let die Hey, lady You, lady Cursing at your life You're a discontented mother And a regimented wife What does a prince have to do to get a drink here? Ah, Mabel! Why they call you an ugly stepsister, I'll never know. Where's Doris? Taking the night off? She's not welcome here, and neither are you. What do you want, Harming? Not much. Just a chance at redemption. And a Fuzzy Navel. And Fuzzy Navels for all my friends! We're not your friends. You don't belong here. You're absolutely right, but, I mean, do any of us? Do a number on his face. Wait, wait, wait! We are more alike than you think. Wicked Witch! The Seven Dwarfs saved Snow White, and what happened? Oh, what's it to you? They left you the unfairest of them all. Now here you are, hustling pool to get your next meal. How does that feel? Pretty unfair. And you! Your star puppet abandons the show to go and find his father. I hate that little wooden puppet. And Hook. Need I say more? - And you, Frumpypigskin! - Rumpelstiltskin. Where's that firstborn you were promised? Mabel. Remember how you couldn't get your little fat foot... ...into that tiny glass slipper? Cinderella is in Far Far Away right now... ...eating bonbons, cavorting with every last fairy tale creature... ...that has ever done you wrong! Once upon a time, someone decided that we were the losers. But there are two sides to every story... ...and our side has not been told! So who will join me? Who wants to come out on top for once? Who wants their... ..."happily ever after"? This way, gents. It's out of my hands, senorita. The winds of fate have blown on my destiny. But I will never forget you. You are the love of my life. As are you. And, uh, you. I don't know you, but I'd like to. I got to go! I don't wanna leave you either. But you know how Shrek is. The dude's lost without me. But don't worry. I'll send you airmail kisses every day! Be strong, babies. Coco, Peanut, listen to your mama. Bananas, no roasting marshmallows on your sister's head. That's my special boy! Come here, all of you! Give your daddy a big hug! Shrek? Maybe you should just stay and be King. Come on. There's no way I could run a kingdom. That's why your cousin Arthur is a perfect choice. It's not that. You see... And if he gives me trouble, I always have persuasion and reason. Here's persuasion... and here's reason. Fiona... ...soon it's just going to be you, me... ...and our swamp. It's not going to be just you and me. All aboard! It will be. I promise. I love you. That's lovely. Bye-bye, babies! Shrek! - Wait! - What is it? I'm... I'm... I love you, too, honey! No! I said I'm... You're what? I said I'm pregnant! What was that? You're going to be a father! That's great! Really? I'm glad you think so! I love you! Yeah! Me, too! You! I'm going to be an uncle! I'm going to be an uncle! And you, my friend, are royally... Home. Shrek! Fiona! Fiona? Oh, no. Better out than in, I always say. No, no, no! It's okay. It's gonna be all right. Stop! Hey, wait! Donkey. Donkey! Wake up! Dada! Shrek! Are you okay? I can't believe I'm going to be a father. How did this happen? Allow me to explain. When a man has feelings for a woman... ...a powerful urge sweeps over him. I know how it happened. I just can't believe it. How does it happen? And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon When you coming home, son? I don't know when But we'll get together then, Dad. Donkey! Can you just cut to the part where you're supposed to make me feel better? You know I love Fiona, boss. Right? What I am talking about is you, me, my cousin's boat... ...an ice cold pitcher of mojitos and two weeks of nothing but fishing. Don't listen to him! Having a baby isn't going to ruin your life. It's not my life I'm worried about ruining, it's the kid's. When have you ever heard the phrase "as sweet as an ogre"... ...or "as nurturing as an ogre"... ...or "You'll love my dad. He's a real ogre." Okay. I get it. It's not going to be easy. But you got us to help you. That's true. I'm doomed. You'll be fine. You're finished. Uh, with your journey "Wor-ces-ters-shiree"? Now that sounds fancy! It's Worcestershire. Like the sauce? It's spicy! They must be expecting us. What in the shista-shire kind of place is this? Well, my stomach aches and my palms just got sweaty. Must be a high school. High school? Ready? Okay! Wherefore art thou headed, to the top? Yeah, we think so, we think so! And dost thou thinkest thine can be stopped? Nay, we thinkst not, we thinkst not! All right, Mr. Percival, ease up on the reins. For lo, bro, don't burn all my frankincense and myrrh. I'm feeling nauseous from memories of wedgies and swirlies! How did you receive wedgies when you are clearly not the wearer of underpants? Let's just say some things are beter left unsaid. So I was all like, "I'd rather get the black plague than go out with you." - Oh, totally. - Pardon me. - Totally ew-eth. - Yeah, totally. I just altered my character level to +3 superb-ability. Hi. We're looking for someone named... Who rolled a +9 dork spell and summoned the beast and his quadruped? I know you're busy not fiting in, but can you tell me where I can find Arthur? He's over there. There is no sweeter taste on thy tongue than victory! Strong, handsome, face of a leader. Does Arthur look like a king or what? Sorry. Did you say you were looking for Arthur? That information is on a need-to-know basis. It's top secret! Now, gentlemen, let's away. To the showers! Greetings, Your Majesty. This is your lucky day. What are you supposed to be? Some kind of giant mutant leprechaun or something? Giant mutant... You made a funny. Unhand me, monster! Stop squirming, Arthur. I'm not Arthur. I am Lancelot. That dork over there is Arthur. This is, like, totally embarrassing... ...but Tiffany thinkest thou vex her so soothly. She thought perchance thou would ask her to the Homecoming Dance. Excuse me? Like, whatever. She's into college guys and mythical creatures. Oh, Arthur... ...come out, come out, wherever you are! You beter run, you litle punk no-goodniks! The days of Donkey Dumpy Drawers are over! Hold it. We're here for the mascot contest. We're here for the mascot contest, too. This is a costume? Worked on it all night long. Looks prety real to me. If he were real, could I do this? Or this? If it were real, that would have been agonizingly painful. - Now watch this! - That's quite enough, boys. Thank you to Professor Primbotom and his lecture... ...on "just say nay". And now, without further ado, let's give a warm Worcestershire hoozah... ...to the winner of our mascot contest, the... ...ogre? That's right. I'm the new mascot. So let's really try and beat the other guys at... ...whatever it is they're doing! This is all a bit unorthodox... Where can I find Arthur Pendragon? Hey, wait... Olassic. You should be ashamed of yourself! I didn't do it. They did. Please don't eat me. Eat him! Eat him! Eat him! I'm not here to eat him! Time to pack up your toothbrush and jammies. You're the new King of Far Far Away. What? Artie a king? More like the Mayor of Loserville! Burn. Is this for real? Absolutely. Olean out your locker, kid. You have a kingdom to run. So, wait... l'm really the only heir? The one and only. Give me a second. My good people... ...there's a lesson here for all of us. Next time you're about to dunk a kid's head in a chamber pot, stop and think, "Hey, maybe this guy has feelings. Maybe I should cut him some slack. 'Oause maybe... just maybe... ...this guy's gonna turn out to be, I don't know, a king? Maybe his first royal decree will be to banish everyone who ever picked on him." I'm looking at you, jousting team! And Guin? Oh, Guin. I've always loved you. Good friends, it breaks my heart, but... ...enjoy your stay here in prison while I rule the free world! Okay, let's not overdo it. I'm building my city, people... on rock 'n' roll! You just overdid it. Look at you! You look darling. Just precious. Look at her. Any cravings since you got pregnant? No. Not at all. Do you smell ham? It's present time! Fiona, please open mine first. It's the one in front. "Oongratulations on your new mess mak..." Oh, mess maker! "Hopefully this helps. Love, Oinderella." - Look at that! - What is it? It's for the poopies. Wait... babies poop? Everyone poops, Beauty. Fiona! We all chipped in for a litle present, too. Ta-da! You know the baby will love it, because I do! Guys, that's so sweet. Thank you. Who's this one from? I got you the biggest one, because I love you most. "Have one on me. Love, Snow White." What is it? He's a live-in babysiter. Where's the baby? You're too kind, Snow, but I can't accept this. It's nothing. I have six more at home. - What does he do? - Oleaning. - Feeding. - Burping. So, what are Shrek and I supposed to do? Work on your marriage. Thanks, Rapunzel. What's that supposed to mean? Oome on now, Fiona. You know what happens. You're tired all the time. You start leting yourself go. Stretch marks. Say goodbye to romance. I'm sorry, but how many of you have kids? She's right! A baby will only strengthen the love Shrek and Fiona have. How did Shrek react when you told him? When he first found out, Shrek said... Onward, my new friends! To our happily ever afters! Now... bombs away! Well, well, well. If it isn't Peter Pan. - His name's not Peter. - Shut it, Wendy. Enough pillaging! To the castle! You go! Take care of the baby! Everybody stay calm! We're going to die! Everyone in! Now! Oome on! Put some back into it! We don't have time. Now go! Quickly, ladies! We'll hold them off as long as we can! Where are Shrek and Fiona? The name doesn't ring a bell. No bell. I suggest you freaks cooperate... ...with the new King of Far Far Away! The only thing you're ever gonna be king of is King of the Stupids! - Hook! - Right! Avast, ye cookie. Start talking. - Gingy! - Papa! Setle down now. On the good ship Lollipop It's a sweet trip to the candy shop You! You can't lie. So tell me, puppet... where is Shrek? Well... I don't know where he's not. You don't know where Shrek is? It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume... ...that I couldn't exactly not say that is or isn't almost partially incorrect. So you do know where he is! On the contrary, I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that in no way, with any amount of uncertainty... Stop it! ...I do not know where he shouldn't be. If that indeed wasn't where he isn't. Even if he wasn't not where I knew he was, it could mean... On the good ship Lollipop Enough! Shrek went off to bring back the next heir! He's bringing back the next heir? No! Hook! Get rid of this new "King". But bring Shrek to me. I have something special in mind for him. He'll never fall for your tricks! Oh, boy. I can't believe it. Me, a king? I knew I came from royalty, but... ...I figured everyone forgot about me. Oh, no. In fact the King asked for you personally. Really? Wow. But I know it's not all fun and games. It really is all fun and games, actually. Sure, you have to knight a few heroes, launch a ship or two. By the way, make sure you hit the boat just right with the botle. Any idiot can hit a boat with a botle. Well, I've heard it's harder than it looks. This is going to be huge. Parties, princesses, castles. Princesses. You'll be living in the lap of luxury. The finest chefs will wait for your order. And fortunately, you'll have the royal food tasters. What do they do? Taste the food before the King eats, to make sure it's not poisoned. - Poisoned? - Or too salty. Don't worry. Your bodyguards will keep you safe. All of them willing at a moment's notice to lay down their lives out of devotion to you. Really? The whole kingdom will look to you for wisdom and guidance. Make sure they don't die of famine! - Or plague. - Plague is bad. The coughing, the groaning, the festering sores. Festering sores! You are one funny kity cat. What did I say? We don't want Artie geting the wrong idea. Artie? There goes my hip! Artie! What are you doing? What does it look like?! This really isn't up to you. I don't know anything about being king! You'll learn on the job! Sorry, but I'm going back. Back to what? Being a loser? Now look what you did! Look what I did? _ Who's holding the wheel, chief? Shrek! Land ho! How humiliating. Oh, nice going, Your Highness. Now it's "Your Highness"? What happened to "loser"? If you think this is geting you out of anything, it isn't. We're heading back to Far Far Away one way or another... ...and you're going to be a father! What? You just said "father". King! You're going to be king! "You're going to be king!" Yeah, right. Where are you going? Far Far Away... from you! Get back here, young man! Boss? I don't think he's coming back. Maybe it's for the best. He's not exactly king material. When did you plan to tell him you were supposed to be king? Oome on. Why would I do that? Besides, he'll be ten times beter at it than me. Then change your tactics if you want to get anywhere with him. You're right, Donkey. What about this? - Shrek! - Oome on. It's just a joke. Still... Listen, Artie. If you think this whole mad scene ain't dope, I feel you, dude. I'm not trying to get up in your grill or raise your roof. But what I am screamin' is, yo... ...check out this kazing thazing, bazaby! If it doesn't groove, or what I'm saying ain't straight trippin', say, "Oh, no, you didn't! You're geting on my last nerve." And then I'll know it's... I'll know it's wack! Help! I've been kidnapped by a monster who's trying to relate to me! - Artie, wait. - Oome on! Help! Hello? Greetings, cosmic children of the universe. Welcome to my serenity circle. Please leave any bad vibes outside the healing vortex. Now prepare to... I knew I should have got that warranty! Mr. Merlin? You know this guy? Yeah. He was the school magic teacher, until he had his nervous breakdown. Technically, I was merely a victim of a level 3 fatigue. At the request of my therapist, and the school authorities, I retired to the tranquility of nature to discover my divine purpose. Oan I interest anyone in a snack or beverage? Uh, no. Sure you don't want to try my Rock Au Gratin? It's organic. Thanks. I ate a boulder on the way in. We need directions to Far Far Away. "We"? Who said I was going with you? I did. People are counting on you, so don't try to weasel out of it. If the job's so great, you do it. Understand this, kid. No more Mr. Nice Guy from here on out. That was your Mr. Nice Guy? Yeah, and I'm going to miss him. Why don't you go terrorize a village and leave me alone! Was that a crack about ogres? You get your royal highness to Far Far Away... ...before I kick it there! Now, which way am I kicking? I could tell you, but since you're in the midst of a self-destructive rage spiral, it would be karmically irresponsible. Self-destructive? Are you going to help us or not? Most definitely, but only after you take the journey to your soul! I don't think so. It's either that or primal scream therapy. All right. Journey to the soul. Now, all of you, look into the Fire of Truth and tell me what you see. Ooh, charades! Okay, I see a Dutch fudge torte with cinnamon swirls! Okay, monster... go for it. I see a rainbow pony. Excellent work! Now the boy. This is lame. You're lame! Now just go for it. Okay. There's a baby bird and a father bird siting in a nest. Yes! Stay with it! The dad just flew away. Why did he leave the litle bird all alone? It's trying to fly, but it doesn't know how to. It's going to fall! Proper head case you are. Really messed up. Okay, I get it. The bird's me. My dad left. So what? Look, Artie, um... Just thought I'd help set the mood... ...for your big heart-to-heart chat. I know what it's like to not feel ready for something. Even ogres get scared. You know... once in a while. I know you want me to be king, but I can't. I'm not cut out for it, and I never will be. Even my own dad knew I wasn't worth the trouble. He dumped me at that school first chance he got... ...and I never heard from him again. My dad wasn't really the fatherly type, either. I doubt he was worse than mine. Oh, yeah? My father was an ogre. He tried to eat me. I guess I should have realized it. He bathed me in barbecue sauce and put me to bed with an apple in my mouth. I guess that's prety bad. It may be hard to believe, what, with my obvious charm and good looks, but people used to think I was a monster. And for a long time, I believed them. But after a while, you learn to ignore the names people call you and just trust who you are. You know... you're okay, Shrek. You just need to do a litle less yelling and use a litle more soap. Thanks, Artie. The soap's because you stink... really bad. Yeah... I got that. This place is filthy! I feel like a hobo. I'm sorry, but this isn't working for me. Everything's always about you. It's not like your atitude is helping. Maybe itjust bothers you I was voted fairest in the land. You mean in that rigged election? Give me a break. "Rapunzel, Rapunzel... ...let down thy golden extensions!" Ladies, let go of your pety complaints and let's work together! So I guess the plan is we just wander aimlessly in this stinkhole until we rot. No, we get inside and find out what Oharming's up to. I know he's a jerk and everything, but that Oharming makes me hoter than July. That's it! Oome on! This way! Rapunzel, wait! Oharming, let go of her. But why would I want to do that? What? Say hello, ladies, to the new Queen of Far Far Away. Rapunzel, how could you? Jealous much? Soon you'll be back where you started, scrubbing floors or locked away in towers. That is, if I let you last the week. Pookie, you promised not to hurt them. Not here, kiten whiskers. Daddy will discuss it later. Now forgive us. We have a show to put on. Shrek will be back soon, and you'll be sorry. Sorry?! Don't you realize once Shrek sets foot in Far Far Away... ...he's doomed? Look out! They got a piano! Kill them all... except the fat one. King Oharming has something special in mind for you, ogre. King Oharming? Atack! Artie, duck! Ready the plank! - Shrek! - Help! Oowards! What has Oharming done with Fiona? She's going to get what's coming to her. And there ain't nothing you can do to stop him! - We've got to save her. - But she's so far far away! Get yourself back to Worcestershire, kid. No, Shrek. Hold on. I've got an idea. I am a buzzing bee. Mr. Merlin? They need a spell to get them... ...I mean us, back to Far Far Away. Forget it. I don't have that kind of magic in me anymore. How about a hug? That's the best kind of magic. Please. I know you can do it. I said forget it! But... What's with you? It's just so hard, you know? They need to get back, 'cause their kingdom's in trouble. 'Oause there's a really bad man. It's just so hard! Take it easy. No! I don't think you understand! There's a mean person doing mean things to good people. Have a heart, old man. They really need your help to get back. Why won't you help them?! Okay. I'll go get my things. Piece of cake. Well, well. You want eggs with that ham? I am a litle rusty, so there could be some side effects. - Side effects? - Don't worry. Whatever it is, no mater how excruciatingly painful, it will wear off eventually. I think. - Oops. - You sure about this? If Artie trusts him, that's good enough for me. Even if his robe doesn't cover... Alacritious expeditious... ...a- zoomy-zoom-zoom! Let's help our friends get back... ...soon! It worked! I haven't been on a trip like that since college! Donkey? What? Is something in my teeth? Oh, no! I've been abracadabra-ed into a Fancy Feastin', second-rate sidekick! At least you don't look like some kind of bloated piñata! You should think about going on a diet! You should get yourself a pair of pants. I feel all exposed and nasty! So you two think this is funny? I'm really sorry, guys. Don't be. You got us back, kid. How in the Hans Ohristian Andersen am I supposed to parade around in these goofy boots? Hey, hey, hey! Be very careful with those. They were made in Madrid by the finest... You'll learn to control that. Seriously. Ow! You need some comfort inserts or arch supports or something. Watch it. I'm walking here and I'm gonna keep going until... Pinocchio! Shrek! Help me! - What happened? - Oharming and the villains took over! Fiona and the Princesses got away. Now she's... She's what?! What?! Puss! Loan me five bucks. You heard him. Help the brother out. Do you see any pockets on me? Hold on a second. I had no idea, really. I... I swear. Quick! Where is Fiona? Oharming has her locked away someplace. You have to find him! He's probably geting ready for the show! Wait, Pinocchio! What show? "It's a Happily Ever After After All". "Shrek's final performance"? Shrek! You didn't tell us you were in a play! I guess I've been so busy I forgot to mention it. The ogre! Get him! Don't worry, jefe. I got this. Uck! Kill it! Look. Don't you know who he thinks he is? How dare you! We're dealing with amateurs. He's a star, people! Hello? I'm so sorry about this, Mr. Shrek. I'm going to lose it! Is everything ready? You did get the list for the dressing room? Breakfast croissant stuffed with seared sashimi tuna. And I hope you have the saffron corn with jalapeno honey buter. Our client cannot get into his proper emotional state withoutjalapeno honey buter! I just lost it. They should talk to Nancy in Human Resources. Oh, we will have much to say to Nancy, I promise! "With this sword, I do..." No. "With..." "With this sword, I do smote thee!" Is "smote" the right word? "Smoot"? I don't think that's a word. Maybe I should just "smite" him. Let's try this again. Now... Shrek atacks me. I pretend to be afraid. "Now the kingdom will get the happily ever after they deserve. Die, ogre!" Blah, blah, blah. Oh, itjust doesn't feel real enough! Who told you to stop dancing?! Wink and turn. What are you laying around for? Get up! Honestly! Our happily ever after is nearly complete, Mummy. And I assure you... ...the people of this kingdom will pay dearly for every second... ...we've had to wait. Break a leg. On second thought, let me break it for you. Thank goodness. I was afraid you wouldn't get back in time. Where's Fiona? Don't worry. She and the others are safe... for now. Let me guess. Arthur. It's Artie, actually. This boy is supposed to be the new King of Far Far Away? How pathetic. Stand still, so I won't make a mess. Oharming, stop! I'm here now. You got what you wanted. This isn't about him. Then who's it about? I'm supposed to be king, right? You weren't really next in line for the throne. I was. But you said the King asked for me personally. Not exactly. What does that mean? I said whatever I had to say, all right? I wasn't right for the job, so I needed some fool to replace me. And you fit the bill. So just go! You were playing me the whole time. You catch on real fast, kid. Maybe you're not as big of a loser as I thought. You know, for a minute... ...I actually thought... - What? That he cared about you? He's an ogre. What did you expect? You really do have a way with children, Shrek. Leave me out with the waste This is not what I do It's the wrong time She's pulling me through It's a small crime And I got no excuse And is that all right, yeah? Is that all right with you? Is that all right, yeah? If I give my gun away when it's loaded? If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it? Is that all right? Is that all right? Is that all right with you? No. No. Had we stayed put like I suggested, we'd be sipping tea out of litle heart-shaped cups. Yeah, heart-shaped cups. And eating crumpets smothered with loganberries. Yeah, loganberries. - Shut up, Oindy. - Yeah, shut up. - No, you shut up. - Stay out of this. Who cares who's "running the kingdom"? - I care. - You should all care. I have your badge number, tin can! - Donkey? - Princess! Puss? I am Puss, stuck here inside this hideous body. And I'm me! But you're... Everything's fruity in the loops, but what happened is we went to high school, the boat crashed and we got bippity-boppity-booped by the magic man. You poor sweet things. I don't get it. The cat turned into a litle horse that smells like feet. What's to get? Who dat? Where's Shrek? Oharming has him. He plans to kill Shrek tonight in front of the whole kingdom! All right, everyone. We need to find a way out now. You're right. Ladies, assume the position! What are you doing? Waiting to be rescued. You've got to be kidding me. What else can we do? We're just four... ...I mean three, super-hot princesses... ...two circus freaks, a pregnant ogre and an old lady! Excuse me. Old lady coming through. Mom! You didn't think you got your fighting skills from your father, did you? Excuse me. There's still one more. Why don't you just lie down? Okay, girls, from here on out... ...we take care of business ourselves. The Far Far Away Theatre at the Charming Pavilion is proud to present... ..."It's A Happily Ever After After AII." Enjoy your evening of theatrical reverie, citizen. Oi! No food or beverages in the theater! Places, everyone! Easy! Sorry. I was showing off for the litle one. It's Bring Your Kids to Work Day. Oome here, beautiful. Well, she's got your eye. Who would have thought a monster like me deserved something as special as you? Little birdies, take wing Flitting down from the trees they appear And to chirp in my ear All because I sing Move it! Go! My babies! Help! Hey, how's it goin'? O to the K. The coast is clear. Let's do this. Go, Team Dynamite! I thought we agreed to use the name Team Super Oool. I recall it was Team Awesome. I voted for Team Alpha Wolf Squadron. Okay! From henceforth, we will be Team Alpha Super Awesome Oool Dynamite Wolf Squadron. Ach de liebe! There is some strange litle girl over there staring at us! Artie! Wait, wait! Where is the fire, señor? Please. Don't act so innocent. You both knew what was going on and kept it to yourselves. It's not like it seems. It's not? I think it seems prety clear. He was using me. That's all. Using you? You really don't get it. Shrek only said those things to protect you. Oharming was going to kill you, Artie! Shrek saved your life. Oue the spot! I wait alone up here I'm trapped another day Locked up here, please set me free My new life I almost see A castle, you and me Yes, a castle, you and me Oherubs! Tis I, Tis I Upon my regal steed Princess, my love At last you shall be freed I'm strong And brave And dashing my way there With speed! With might! With soft and bouncy hair! - Through the blistering desert - Hot! - Across the stormiest sea - Wet! Facing creatures so vile Foul! So you can gaze upon me! I knew you'd come for me And now we finally meet I knew you'd wait And from my plate of love you'd eat Who is this terribly ugly fiend Who so rudely intervened? Will Charming fight or flee? Please rescue me! From this monstrosity! Fear thee not, honey lamb! I will slice this thing up like a ham! Oh, boy. You are about to enter a world of pain With which you are not familiar! It can't be any more painful than your lousy performance. "Prepare, foul beast." Prepare, foul beast, your time is done! Oould you kill me and then sing? Be quiet! I'm just having fun with you. That's actually a very nice leotard. Thank you. Do they come in men's sizes? Now that be funny! Enough! Now you'll finally know what it's like... ...to have everything you worked for... ...everything that's precious to you, taken away. Now you'll know how I felt. Sausage roll! Pray for mercy from Puss! And Donkey! D Hi, honey. Sorry we're late. You okay? Much beter, now that you're here. So, Oharming, you want to let me out of these so we can setle this ogre-to-man? Ooh, that sounds fun. But I have a beter idea. No! Let go of me! You will not ruin things this time, ogre. Kill it. Everybody, stop! Oh, what is it now?! Artie? Who thinks we need to setle things this way? You mean you want to be villains your whole lives? But we are villains! It's the only thing we know. You never wish you could be something else? Easy for you to say. You're not some evil enchanted tree. You morons! Don't listen to him! Atack! What Steve means is it's hard to come by honest work when the whole world's against you. Right. Thanks, Ed. Fair enough. You're right. I'm not a talking tree. But you know... ...a good friend once told me... ...just because people treat you like a villain, or an ogre... ...or just some loser... ...doesn't mean you are one. What maters most is what you think of yourself. If there's something you really want, or someone you want to be... ...the only person standing in your way is you. - Me? - Get him! No, no, no! What I mean is each of you... ...is standing in your own way. I always wanted to play the flute. I'd like to open up a spa... in France! I grow daffodils. And they're beautiful. A new era finally begins! Now all of you... ...bow before your King! You need to work on your aim. This was supposed to be my happily ever after! Well, you need to keep looking... ...because I'm not giving up mine. Mommy? It's yours if you want it. But this time it's your choice. Author! Artie! Artie! Artie! Artie! Excuse me. That's my seat. Okay, Señor Hocusy-Pocusy, the time has come to rectify some wrongs! Though I have been enjoying these cat baths. Please say you didn't. All right! Look. You'll feel a pinch and possibly lower intestinal discomfort... ...but this should do the trick. - Are you? - I'm me again! - And I am not you! - All right! Oops. Ah, never mind. What did I tell you? The kid's going to be a great king. Well, for what it's worth, you would have, too. I have something much more important in mind. Finally. Dada. Was I wrong about the world? It's a beautiful new place I smell Shrek Junior! Where else could a creep like me Meet such a pretty face Meeting every day with the rising sun Looking up, it's looking like My losing streak is done Peek-a-boo! Peek-a-boo! A bouncy, bouncy, boy! Used to always feel like Wished that I was dressed better Where's the baby? Never had a lot of luck Until I finally met her Meeting every day with the rising sun Looking up, it's looking like My losing streak is done My losing streak is done Well... what shall we do now? I got it. Puss and Donkey, baby! Once again, come on! I want to thank you for letting me be myself Again! Look at my hips! I want to thank you for letting me be myself Again! - Break it down! - Let's go! Stiff all in the collar Fluffy in the face Chit chat chatter trying Stuffy in the place Thank you for the par-tay But I could never stay I'm sorry. I got many things on my mind But the word's in the way And I want to thank you for letting me be myself Again Different strokes for different folks Thank you for letting me be myself Again Break it down! Puss and Donkey, baby! Puss and Donkey, baby! Puss and Donkey, baby! Dance to the music All night long Everyday people Sing a simple song Mama's so happy Mama start to cry Papa's still singing You can make it if you try So try! Thank you for letting me be myself Again Thank you for letting me be myself Again Oome on, Donkey. Do something right! Put the hoofs together! Put the hoofs together! Stomp your boots, baby! Stomp your boots, baby! Stomp your boots, baby! Thank you for letting me be myself Again I want to thank you for letting me be myself Again Thank you, thank you, thank you. Want to thank you Just to be my Because I just want to be my... See? Can I, can I thank you! Can I Yes! Yes!
  • psychic: what the fuck

BLACK FRIDAY

This is in honor of @marvelingatthewonder birthday!! Amberly, you are one of the sweetest people I’ve come to meet on here and I’m so glad and honored to call you my friend. You are so lovely and have such a great heart. I adore you and I love you!! Happy Birthday!

The line was packed. You couldn’t even see where the end of the line was. It was cold and snowy. The temperature was supposed to drop even more in the next few hours but that didn’t stop you from wanting to be one of the first to enter the store.

“I don’t understand all of this excitement to enter a store.” Thor spoke beside you.

You looked at him, “It’s Black Friday. There are sales going on that only happen this one day of the year. It’s going to be insane in there Thor, and I need to know that you’re going to be able to handle it.”

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September is National Library Card Sign-up Month! Celebrate by hitting up your local library for a library card. Or, if you already have one, consider buying your favorite librarian a coffee. (Metaphorically. By donating $5 to the library or something. Patrons who actually ask the librarian out for coffee usually come off as super creepy).