oh look at my shit again

listen I’m done with heavy, sudden, and passionate relationships like oh my god those are overplayed and almost always doomed from the start and I am saying ENOUGH to getting burned by that shit

Give me a goofy spouse who will dance in the kitchen with me while we’re making pancakes, an “oh man I found this starving animal and can we keep it??” spouse, a spouse whose first instinct is to share a joyful moment rather than let it pass in silence. The kind of person who’s mature enough to understand that life isn’t just a game, but often chooses to have fun like it is anyway.

The best part is that I am also goofy as hell, so we would enable each other’s nonsense all the time and generally be insufferably happy and well-adjusted.

Things the Hogwarts Houses say

(loosely based on conversations I’ve had/overheard)

Hufflepuff -

  • “If you don’t start singing along to High School Musical with me in under 30 seconds you will no longer be my best friend" 
  •  "I swear on my chicken nuggets-”
  • “Yes I made that joke up by my self - no it’s not from Spongebob Squarepants how dARE YOU-”
  • “Speaking of Spongebob can we just take a few moments to discuss how much of a masterpiece that first movie was please”
  • “Ah yes, it’s 3 in the morning, time to get emotional and tell all my friends how much I love them”
  • “You made me chocolate??? Oh my God I love you so much thank you I’ll have some right no - THIS HAS RAISINS IN IT YOU TRICKED ME
  • “Oh my God yeah I saw that movie, my favourite part was when - oh shit wait there’s this adorable kitten video I meant to show you last week and I completely forgot let me get it up on my phone”
  • “Sorry I’m late I was up all night watching those videos where kids get surprised with puppies”
  • “Are you awake? Great, let’s start planning our future homes together, I have a pinterest board ready”
  • “This is my favourite photo album! It’s full of photos of all the cats and dogs I’ve made friends with on my walks, I’ve even given them all names”
  • (crying) “Stop calling me emotional God damn it”

Ravenclaw -

  •  "Of course I remember you said you liked the colour red, you told me at like 1:35 am last year in May"
  • “What? Simplifying equations? No, I can’t help with that but I do know all the words to every Simpsons episode in the first 5 seasons if that helps"
  • “Sorry I really can’t go out today. No I’m fine, I’m just stressed I’m doing something important. I’m trying to memorise all the words to this documentary about frogs - What? Yes of course it’s important!”
  • “I discovered and fully analysed that meme 3 weeks ago, step up your game”
  • “What do you mean why do I have a folder full of strategic plans on how to succeed at animal crossing, that’s not weird?”
  • “Sir, I don’t mean to be rude but I’ve been doing my own research and you’re getting all of this wrong. Well yes I know I’m not the teacher here but - Yes, actually, I’d love to teach the class my self I’ve already made a lesson plan, thank you”
  • No, I won’t come and see Jurassic World with you. Because it’s completely unrealistic! Do you have any idea what dinosaurs are actually supposed to have sounded and looked like? Even adult velociraptors weren’t meant to be that b - OK you know what, I will come, but I’ll be pointing out every single problem to you. No, it’s too late, you already invited me. I’m buying our tickets right now, don’t move”
  • “You really think you can beat me at Mario Kart? I have spent YEARS studying this game and honing my skills, spending hours upon hours training until my hands cramp and even my tv is judging the amount of time I’ve spent playing and you think YOU can beat me? Let’s fucking go
  • “I think these guys think I want to murder them because I followed them home but it’s only because I overheard them talking about what would happen if Pokemon is real and I wanted to see how good their logic was”
  • “Shut up? Shut up? I haven’t shut up for 17 years and I’m not about to start now”
  • (crying) "I just want Shakespeare’s ghost to be proud of me”

Gryffindor - 

  • “I’d love to have a sleepover but it can only be when there’s a thunderstorm so we can dance in the rain, let me check the weather forecast”
  • “Did that bee just try and sting you? COME BACK HERE BEE YOU COWARD I’M GONNA FUCK YOU UP - wait shit no run”
  • "What did you say? Don’t touch it? Alright.” (touches it as soon as the person turns away) “Sucker”
  • “Whaaat? Someone wrote on the desk? No it wasn’t me I would never do th - My name was there? Well, I’m not the only one in the world with my na - My surname was there too? What are the chances?!”
  • “Help me I started saying lmao ironically and I can’t stop”
  • “Before you say anything it wasn’t me - unless it was something awesome then I definitely planned the whole thing”
  • Excuse me? They said what to you? … I have to go for a second, I just remembered something completely unrelated. No, no, I’m not taking this fork with me for any particular reason”
  • “Um, did you just tell me it’s impossible to sing along to a guitar solo? Stand back. Your mind is about to get blown”
  • “I am so not drunk! I’m completely drunk! … Wait shit I meant sober”
  • “I’M SO PROUD OF YOU AAAH LET ME HUG YOU! I’M NOT LETTING GO FOR THE NEXT 3 HOURS, GET COMFORTABLE BITCH”
  • “I bet I can stay up for longer than you - what no I’m not tired shut up - nO THAT WASN’T A YAWN I WAS JUST SHOWING YOU WHAT IT WOULD LOOK LIKE IF I WAS TIRED - SEE I DID IT AGAIN TOTALLY ON PURPO - ok fuck you I’m going to sleep”

Slytherin - 

  • “Oh my God, just tell me what you did already so I can start complaining”
  • “Sorry, I didn’t catch that. Did you say STOP saying fuck, or KEEP ON saying fuck?”
  • “Over your dead body? I was hoping you’d say that”
  • “If you even LOOK at them one more time I will take a stick as big as your ego and stick it right up your-”
  • “Don’t come near me or - OK fine, we can snuggle for exactly 15 minutes. I’m setting a timer now”
  • “Hey, I saw you posted a picture of us on instagram yesterday where my eyeliner isn’t completely straight? You’re gonna have to delete that, if anyone thinks my eyeliner isn’t drop dead perfect every day and that I’m not a literal make up goddess I’ll lose my reputation as the Regina George of the school”
  • “But keep the one where I’m wearing no make up so that all those bitches know I still kill it without trying”
  • “Oh come on, you know I’d never do anything to embarrass you! Speaking of which, that video I posted on youtube the other day of you falling down the flight of escalators in the shopping centre has reached over 1000 views”
  • “My dad told me tattoos were trashy so I got a giant tattoo saying ‘trashy’ on my back I’ll send you his reaction later”
  • “I’m not a sentimental person but if you touch my teddy bear I will turn you into a stuffed trophy to put next to him”
  • “What do you mean I look smug this is my normal face”

two weeks before the 1st performance:

  • tech kids hanging out in the house seats, lighting and sound crew just starting to figure stuff out
  • cast running all the dance numbers 129493 times, crying
  • first pairs of jazz shoes are spotted
  • ensemble mumbling like everything
  • running the show for the first time,,,, crying bc whAT ARE OUR CUES
  • leads still calling out for lines occasionally and ur director getting pissed
  • probs stopping as yall run the show

one week before the first performance:

  • ensemble crying in the corner bc they’re “not loud enough”
  • “?????” - band
  • tech kids are literally at school till 1am
  • set is coming together!!
  • leads are crying
  • !1!1!costumes
  • !1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1 makeup
  • death
  • this is the time period when kids limbs or ankles start randomly breaking
  • someone: *coughs* “REPENT”

matinee!!:

  • literally everyone is sobbing backstage
  • quick changes killing people
  • inspirational speeches starting to happen
  • “WHERE THE HELL ARE MY JAZZ SHOES”
  • crew kids building their calm façade
  • internal screaming
  • lighting starts doing cool things
  • “dude the set looks so cool with the lights”
  • leads forgetting their lines simply bc of stress
  • “what’s that move again??”
  • “what’s our note again??”

places:

  • everyone just got done with traditions and there are probably a lot of raw emotions happening ajsjdjjdk
  • calm, not a sound backstage.
  • numbness
  • “im fucking serious what’s that move again?”
  • “what the hell is our note”
  • crew is getting calls over the boxes every 10 seconds
  • “where’s my fucking prop”
  • ur stage manager is probably crying
  • everyone is crying
  • band - “?????”

the show:

  • “aw shit i messed that up oh well tonight ill do it right”
  • band - “!!!!”
  • “i can’t cross when they’re dancing to move props can i”
  • literally everyone is SObbIgn after the last performance makeup who??
The Voltron Fandom currently
  • Everyone: OMG SEASON 3 yay! But it's so fuckin dark the creators answered so many questions with hope!
  • Klance shippers: but klangst and klance it's happening
  • Seith shippers: they shut down my ship faster than my grades 😭
  • Non shippers: Yooooooo this shit is going to be so angsty and I am scared shitless
  • Everyone: yep I agree with Non shippers
  • Fan 1: but did you see lotor though? Damn like he kinda good looking
  • Lotor Fan: OMG YESS DADDY IS HOT 👅💦
  • Non Lotor Fan: bitch he's ears be lookin like a damn banana and he be smokin space weed gtfo
  • Lance Lovers: OH MY BABY BOY GOT MORE SCREEN TIME BUT ITS GONNA BE LANGST! 😭
  • Fans: *all around me are familiar faces..*
  • Me: Voltron cured my depression and now I have it again because of season 3
  • Fans: this ain't no kids show no more don't air this on nick bro.
  • Theorists: Azulua (girl galra) is Keith's mom
  • Person: she is bet.
  • Me: school starts for me and I'll be only thinking about Voltron. Rip my grades
  • Everyone: ... SHIT YOU RIGHT
Livestreaming//Finn Wolfhard x reader

Fuck so this is my first ever imagine here and I apologize if it’s shitty yikessss. 

Thank you for 200 followers by the way! This is my gift from me, to all of you. 

Warnings: None lol, just pure fluff


You and Finn have been best friends for almost two years now. You guys first met on the set of Stranger Things and since then you have been inseparable. You guys got a long so well that sometimes people mistake you two as a couple. You and Finn are aware of the fans shipping you two and you honestly didn’t mind because well, you like Finn. I mean, what’s not to like about him anyway? He’s sweet, caring, and kind. What more could you want?

Millie was the first one to notice that you liked Finn. You didn’t know how because you made sure to not be obvious about it. Millie was great at reading people, she considered it as one of her talents. She always pushed you to tell Finn about your feelings for him because she believes that Finn felt the same way. You didn’t believe that though, it was crazy. How could Finn Wolfhard like you? It was just too wild so you constantly brushed that idea away whenever it came up.


After promoting season two of Stranger Things, you and the rest of the cast were given a break. Finn invited you to spend the break with him in Vancouver to which you happily accepted. 

“Can you get your foot off of my face? Gosh you dick.” You said jokingly as you pushed Finn’s foot away from your face. You guys were laying opposite from each other on Finn’s bed, just hanging out and talking about random things. 

“You’re so rude.” Finn replied as he continued to place his foot on your face. 

“Says the person constantly placing their foot on my face.” You rolled your eyes playfully as you continued to push Finn’s foot away.

“Hey I know,” Finn suddenly bolts up and sits down, “We should do a livestream! We can sing together and answer questions!” Finn smiled as he proposed his idea to you. 

“I’m okay with livestreaming, but can we not sing? I don’t even sing well.” You said you continue to lay down on Finn’s bed. Finn loves the way you sing, he’s been trying to get you to sing with an audience, but you weren’t so keen to the idea. That doesn’t stop him from suggesting it every once in awhile though. 

“Oh come on, Y/N! You sing great, I wouldn’t be constantly bothering you to sing if you weren’t good!” Your best friend said as he shook your leg, “Come on pleaaasssseee?” 

“Fine, just one song though.” You say as you sit up. 

Finn smiled so widely which caused you to smile too, his smile was contagious. 

“That’s enough for me.” Finn got out of his bed to go get his guitar. You grabbed your phone which was placed on Finn’s night stand and opened Instagram. In a few minutes, Finn was back with his guitar. He then sits beside you and you give him your phone. Finn quickly switches out of your account to his account and he then starts the livestream. Viewers rolled in the stream in no time. He then places your phone on his nightstand so he didn’t have to hold it during the stream. 

“Hey guys so, Y/N and I decided to livestream because we’re bored and guess whattttt.” Finn said and comments saying “What” started pouring in. “Y/N and I are going to be taking song requests so go ahead and request!”

“Uhm requests? I thought we agreed on doing only one song?” 

“Sorry nope, change of plans Y/N, we’re singing our heart out today.” Finn said with a teasing wink which made you roll your eyes. 

“Why are you like this? You’re so annoying.” You said while jokingly pushing Finn away from you.

“You love me though.”

“No I hate you.”

You both didn’t notice but every time you spoke to each other, the closer you sat together. With every word spoken, you and Finn scoot closer to each other.

@strangerthingsfansxxx: fuCK I SHIP THIS SO MUCH Y’ALL DON’T EVEN TRY TO FIGHT ME ABOUT THIS

milliebobbybrown: you guys are so cute!!!!

wyattoleff: “we’re just friends!12!!!21212!1″ 

jackdgrazer: just date already smh

You and Finn leaned in closer to your phone’s screen and read everyone’s comments. 

ahoeforstrangerthings: okay but every time they talk, they scoot closer to each other fuck THIS IS THE TYPE OF CONTENT LIVE FOR

You and Finn both read the same comment and quickly scooted away from each other. You tried to play it cool, but you were slowly losing it. Your hands were getting clammy and your heartbeat was slowly rising. Finn on the other hand was blushing crazy.

“OKKKKAYYY, so a lot of people requested for Girl Crush by Little Big Town so we’ll do that.” Finn said while getting his guitar ready, you quickly look at him and saw that his face was red. You cleared your throat and started singing as soon as Finn strummed the first chord to the song. Finn would harmonize with you every now and then.

dontfuckpennywise: funny how Finn chose to do this song ;)

sophialillis: you guys sing so good together damn sOMEOEN GIVE THEM A RECORD DEAL

A few minutes later, you and Finn finished singing the song. Everyone was cheering in the comments which made you smile. 

“Alright that’s enough songs for today, I told Y/N we’d only do one song. Don’t worry though, I’m going to try and convince her to do more song covers in the future.” Finn teased as he turned his face towards you to give you a smirk. 

“That won’t happen sir, not on my watch.” You reply while smiling at Finn. You two kind of stared at each other’s eyes for a few seconds. There was this electrifying feeling coursing through the both of you, but you didn’t know why you felt that way. 

uncle_jezzy: electricity

strangestthings: OH SHIT MOTHER STEVE JSUT SAID ELECTRICITY JDNFJSVDNFVJNJDFNV 

(YourShipName)isreal: JOE APPROVES

Finn looks through the comments again and sees Joe Keery’s comment, he turns red as he mouths the word ‘electricity.’ You choked on your saliva as you read Joe’s comment, but you played it cool by acting as if you were just coughing.

“Okay we’ll take questions now, go crazy but not too crazy with the comments you guys.” You say as you looked at your phone screen searching for good questions.

gatenm123: i miss you guys!! when are you guys planning on visiting me? :DDDD

“We miss you too and we’re planning on visiting you for sure, Gaten. We just don’t know when yet. We’ll let you know.” Finn said and you nodded in agreement. 

cuddlesand(YourShipName): are you guys dating? ;)

“NOPE! JUST FRIENDS!” You and Finn said simultaneously as you came across the question from @//cuddlesand(YourShipName). You found it quite interesting how the both of you replied at the same time at the same comment, but decided to dismiss it. Surely it was just a coincidence, right?

“I’m so cold what the hell? Can you change the temperature of thermostat please?” You asked Finn as you rubbed your hands on your arms in an attempt to warm yourself up.

“The thermostat is all the way downstairs, that’s a lot of work. Here just-” Finn turns around and tugs on his bed’s comforter, “Here.” Finn covers the both of you with his comforter which helped with the temperature situation. 

“Better?” 

“Yeah, better. Thank you, Finnie.” 

“Stop that.” You laughed as Finn rolled his eyes as a joke, he secretly loved when you called him Finnie.

The fans freaked out, both of you were sure that there will be edits of you two all over the internet after the livestream and you didn’t mind at all.

thestrangestofthings: are you guys sure that you’re just friends? I mean come on!!! Look at you guys!! 

As you read @//thestrangestofthings’s comment, you couldn’t help but remember Millie’s advice: “Just tell him how you feel Y/N.” Millie’s voice echoed inside your head.

“Finn doesn’t like me like that, you guys.” You say as you effortlessly hid your disappointment, you were an actor after all.

“What if you’re wrong?” Finn suddenly blurted out while turning towards you and looking at you straight in the eyes.

The comments section exploded.

“What do you mean wrong? I… I don’t under-”

“Well, what if I do like you, Y/N? What if I told you right now that I have liked you for two years now? What if I told you that when I first met you, I immediately liked you, and not just friend like, you know… like…like.”

You stared at Finn, tears of joy threatened to spill out of you as you stared at each other. You couldn’t believe what he was saying, there was just now way.

(YSN)kisses: HOOOOOOLLLY SHIT HOOOLLLY SHITJDFNGJSDFJGNHFGH

therealcalebmclaughlin: I owe The Duffer Brothers $20 

sadiesink_: @//therealcalebmclaughlin you and the duffer brothers were betting? lollllll

You slowly processed everything that Finn just said, it was hard for you to accept it but slowly you digested the new information.

“Well Finnie, what if I told you that I too have liked you for about two years now.”

therealcalebmclaughlin: we been knew sis

noahschnapp: this is old news 

mikessweaters: LMFAO CALEB IM CKMKFGdfdf

If smiles could actually melt a person, you would be melting now. Finn was beaming at you. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He couldn’t believe that the girl he has liked for two years feels the same way. Never in Finn’s wildest dreams thought Y/N would ever feel the same way. To Finn, this whole thing felt like a dream.

beepbeeptozier: get you a man that looks at you the way Finn looks at Y/N

Finn scoots closer to you and you do the same causing the small gap between you two to disappear. You were dangerously close to each other now, but you both didn’t seem to mind. In fact, you liked how close you were. You faced each other your foreheads touching.

elevenloveseggos: ARE THEY GOING TO KISS WHAY THE FUCKELKFOGOVLLFLFKFKFF

Finn gently places his hand on your cheek and begins to lean in. The next thing you know, you were also leaning in. 

jaedenwesley: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

milliebobbybrown: oH MY GOSH

Before you two actually kissed, your phone falls off Finn’s nightstand. You were glad that that happened. you didn’t want three thousand or more people to watch you and Finn kiss. You felt selfish for wanting to have that moment all to yourself, but you didn’t care. All that matters now is that your best friend feels the same way and that Millie was right all along. 

The kiss felt magical, all the cliche story or movie descriptions of how a kiss should feel like were actually accurate. You felt sparks everywhere and you felt like you were going to explode. The world stops for a second or two and it was just you and Finn for a little while. A few seconds later, you and Finn pull away from each other. 

“Holy shit.” said Finn while smiling from ear to ear.

“Holy shit indeed.” You reply with a giggle. You quickly pick up your phone from the floor and looked through the comments: 

gatenm123: bet you they kissed

jackdgrazer: of course they did @//gatenm123 no doubt about that ;)

janehoppereggo: IM SO HAPPY THAT MY SHIP IS REAL FUCK I LOVE MY CHILDREN WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL

sophialillis: pay up @//chosenjacobs

“Alright thanks for watching you guys! Sorry about that whole mess… yikes.” You say as your face flushed. 

“We’ll do another livestream tomorrow, we’ll sing more songs, I promise. Bye!!!” 

Before Finn ended the livestream there was one more comment:

dkharbour: no funny business after this livestream. You know what I mean.

HE

Imagine you and Dylan are responsible for 90% of the bloopers

Pairing: Dylan x reader

Warnings: nah

A/N: This was taken from my other blog the-famdoms-shall-be-united  I wrote this just on another blog! It is not plagiarism!


We were running, that’s all we’ve ever done, and yet, I will never get used to it. The sand dune was huge, Thomas laced his fingers with mine, pulling me towards him when we reached the top.

“There they are” Thomas finally spoke as we peered into the distance.

“ That’s where we’re going “ The wind brushed through our hair-

“Oh my god” my boyfriend Dylan yelled as he started to fall back. I was then when I realized our hands were still intertwined.

“ Shit, no Dylan!” I exclaimed as I too fell back landing on top of him.

“ Thomas! Y/C/N!” Ki Hong screamed.

“ You dick!” I chuckled shoving him slightly.

“ I’m sorry baby!” Dylan said with a kiss to my nose.


What’s with the ‘Rat Man’? “Minho asked us quietly as Janson walked away.

“ I don’t know but I think he’s on Game Of Thrones” Dylan calmly stated not even breaking into a smile while Kaya bent over with laughter.

“Oh my god! Can I get your autograph? I love that show!” I screamed running after Aidan.


The sound of the choppers grew nearer.

“ Get Down! Everybody hide, hide!-” Thomas frantically running-

“Fuck where?!” I bent over laughing. Looking up, I saw Dylan smiling at me.

Take two

“ Get Down! Everybody hide, hide!-” Thomas frantically running-

Everyone began running in different directions again.

“What did we talk about?!” Dylan yelled. It startled me, I clumsily tripped over my foot and fell.

“ Mother, shit, fuck!” I wailed.

“ Baby?!” Dylan called running in my direction. Once he saw I was on the ground, he burst into a fit of laughter.

“No! Y/C/N! I will avenge you!” he crawled towards me.

“ Shut up!” I said before pulling him into a kiss earning a chorus of ‘aww’s’ from the cast and the crew. Dylan and I lifted up our middle fingers to them, flipping them off. Earning a chorus of laughter from the team.

Masterlist

Request

Prompt list

A little AU meet-cute based on @billypoindexter‘s prompt (someone else may have already done it, but I haven’t written any zimbits in forever):

So I was watching Say Yes to the Dress yesterday and Corbin Bleu and his fiancé (now wife) Sasha Clements were on it and when they asked how they met Sasha said they met in a grocery store and she kind of recognized him, and figured he was an acquaintance whose name she had forgotten. So she goes “Hey!! How are you?” and they chat for a bit before she realizes that she knows him because he’s famous.


Bitty was rounding the end of the cereal aisle, rechecking the grocery list to see if he’d gotten everything and wondering what was wrong with the state of public education in New England that none of his roommates had apparently learned basic penmanship, when he ran into someone.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry!” he exclaimed, and suppressed the wince as his accent reflexively came out full force. (It was partly the apologizing, and partly that he’d learned people were more forgiving if they thought he wasn’t from ’round here. He’d decided to embrace it; if he couldn’t get rid of the accent, it might as well be good for something.)

“No, no problem,” said the person, and then Bitty actually looked at him and felt that familiar terror of countless small-town grocery runs with his mother, where they ran into someone that he knew he was supposed to know, but could not place for the life of him, let alone remember an actual name.

“Well, hey!” he exclaimed, racking his brain frantically for the reason this guy looked so familiar. Surely he’d remember someone who looked like that. Lord. There was nothing, though, so he let autopilot take over. “How have you been?”

Tall, Dark, and Handsome blinked at him. (How could Bitty have forgotten eyes that blue? What even was wrong with him today? This was ridiculous.) “Uh, okay, actually. Yup. Everything going well.”

“Well, that’s great!” Bitty glanced at his list again. “Hey, can you read this? I genuinely can’t tell if this is supposed to be English.”

The guy obligingly took the paper from him and squinted at it. “Provolone, I think.”

Bitty took the list back and stared at it for a second. “I think you’re right. Honestly, Holster.”

“I was just heading toward the deli myself.”

“How perfect! I really kind of hate shopping by myself? But this was just supposed to be a quick in and out, or at least it was until I realized I apparently live with chickens in human guise who never learned to write properly.”

By the time Bitty and The Guy checked out and parted ways half an hour later, Bitty still hadn’t recalled his name, and by then it was clearly too late to admit it.

Oh well, he’d probably remember later, when he was trying to fall asleep.

~*~*~*~

“You know,” he called pointedly from the kitchen, “y’all could make yourselves useful and help me put all these things away.”

“Yes! Bro! Did you see that pass?” Holster yelled instead.

“Beauty,” Ransom answered, and then there was the sound of a high-five.

Bitty sighed and stuck his head around the corner to see what they were yelling about now.

SportsCenter, as usual, was on, playing highlights from the Falconers’ game the night before. As Bitty watched, it switched from the on-ice play to an intermission interview.

An intermission interview. With the guy from the grocery store.

Jack Zimmermann.

“Oh my god,” Bitty said for the second time that day, hands to his cheeks, which were indeed burning up.

Holster looked over at him in concern. “Bits? What’s wrong? Why do you look like a tomato?”

“I just spent half an hour casually grocery shopping with Jack fucking Zimmermann because I thought he looked familiar and I didn’t want to admit I couldn’t place him. Oh my god, I could just die.”

Ransom and Holster exchanged glances and then they were on him. “No shit! What’s he like? What did he buy? Tell us everything!”

“I can never shop there again,” Bitty said faintly.

batfam as things my family said while playing mario

Jason: Toad, I hope you die a slow and painful death

Dick: Jason!

Jason: What? I’m expressing my feelings!

~

Stephanie: Get ready, losers, Coconut Mall is my bitch

~

Tim: *hums along to the Mario Kart music*

Everyone: …

Tim: Shut up, ok, I like it

~

Dick: does this level have Yoshi? I’m not playing if it doesn’t have Yoshi.

~

Duke [about Yoshi]: oh no my babe

~

Jason: Eat Tim

Steph: Wait, is it possible to eat Tim?

Jason: You just do the same thing you do with the apples just in front of a person eat Tim

Cass, trying to eat Tim: it’s not letting me do it this game is rigged

~

Dick: I am so mad at both of you- Damian, you’re older now, I’m allowed to be mad at you

~

Dick: can everyone just wait a second Jason it’s called teamwork for a reason- shit. shit, I died. Thanks a lot.

~

Steph: we’re doing the level again and this time, I want the pink one

~

Damian: do Rainbow Road, you coward. Do it, I dare you- oh, you absolute coward. You’re my least favourite.

~

Barbara: oh look who’s first- it’s me, because I’m the best

Tim: You cheated, this game is rigged-

Barbara, carrying a controller like a sword: it’s because I’m the best-

~

Bruce, after dying for the third time: What’s going on. I’m so confused, what do the buttons do, what is that mushroom doing,

bad | 01

 He was the cliché bad boy. He was the guy you couldn’t stand. He was the handsome, hot kid who made girls go weak in the knees. He was a brat. You had never liked him one bit, but you had also never gotten involved with anything concerning him. Until one day, when you were in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Originally posted by thesoshisone

MEMBER: jeon jungkook x reader

GENRE: romance, smutish, fluff

WORDS: 2 506

WARNINGS: badboy!jungkook, cussing, mature

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08coming soon

A/N: if people like this, I’ll make another part. it won’t be a long series, though. this will probably be cliché af. but please, pretty pretty pretty please tell me what you think. THANKS.

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We're the bad guys

CONTEXT: I’m hosting D&D tonight and my party is in an underwater treasure hunt. they broke into an underwater dome and found it to be inhabited by shark people, 2 to be specific. After being discovered they proceed to attack him, then the other shows up shouting in his language (which one character, Davkul, can translate but isn’t at this time). After some fighting and shouting they find out these two are a Gay Selachian (sharkmen) Couple and they broke into their house and attacked them, which they hadn’t figured out just yet.

Sam, our Ranger: Okay I’m gonna stealth forward…and use the hook I steeped on earlier to stab him in the neck.

DM (Me): oh…oh god okay… *audibly worried*

Sam: *Rolls Nat 20* HA! I’m also gonna use both my swords to stab him! *Rolls 19’s*

DM: *whimpers* oh no….they hit….

At this point the second shark came out and started shouting in their language.

Spot, our Rogue who’s obsessed with guns: I’m gonna shoot him!  *Roll’s 2 nat 18’s, they hit*

DM: *AUDIBLY UPSET* Davkul, you hear the second Sharkman shout this in his language.

I then proceeded to send him the dialouge privately, this follows.

Selachian 1 (Joe): OH GOD BOB NO!!

Davkul: *Recites lines to party* Oh no, I’m gonna punch him anyway!

DM: …the selachian collapses, unconscious, the second one cries out…

Selachian Joe: WHY!? SHOOTING AND STABBING HIM WASN’T ENOUGH?! TAKE WHAT YOU WANT AND JUST LEAVE ALREADY!!

Davkul (ooc): OH GOD THEY’RE GAY. THEY’RE A GAY COUPLE AREN’T THEY?!

S.Joe: He was making dinner! Why did you do this??

The whole party is in hysterics

Sam: TELL THEM IM SORRY (ooc) I slide them a potion and try to look apologetic…

Davkul: ITS NOT MY FAULT I SWEAR…I DIDN’T KNOW

Spot: WE BROKE INTO THEIR HOUSE AND ATTACKED THEM OH GOD WE’RE THE BAD GUYS

Scavenger Hunt

Stiles/Derek, T, 2500 words, Meet Cute AU

Written for the following prompt:

“i picked up your bag at the airport but i can’t find your number so i’m about to embark on the largest scavenger hunt of all time by using your strange belongings to track you down” au

“Honey, I’m home!” Stiles calls out as he wrestles his roll bag over their entry mat.

“That’s still not funny,” Scott says, without looking up from his textbook.

“Once again, we disagree.”

Scott snorts. “How was the trip?”

“Fine,” he says, plopping down right in the middle of the living room to start unpacking. “Typical conference. Some sessions were actually interesting, most were boring as shit.”

Scott hums, already absorbed again in his reading. Stiles reaches for the zipper on his suitcase but then freezes—this is definitely the same brand as his suitcase, but he doesn’t remember this extra zippered pocket on the top.

“Oh, shit.”

“What?”

Stiles grimaces. “I’m pretty sure this isn’t my suitcase. Goddamn it.”

Scott finally looks up, frowning. “Shit, really? How’d you manage that?”

“It was a redeye,” Stiles says, running a hand through his hair. “I was exhausted, in fucking LaGuardia, and I was just trying to get out of there as fast as humanly possible.”

“Is there a name on it? Are you sure it’s not yours?”

“Pretty sure,” Stiles says, feeling around the sides for the pocket. He sighs when he pulls out the little card and sees that it’s blank. “Motherfucker. This is definitely not my suitcase because I’m actually smart enough to put my name on it.”

“Sorry, man,” Scott says sympathetically as Stiles falls back on the rug with an anguished groan.

“What the hell am I supposed to do now?”

“Open it,” Scott suggests. “Maybe there’s something with their name on it.”

Stiles fiddles with the zipper. He’s nosy as hell, in general, and normally he’d be jumping at the chance to rifle through someone else’s personal belongings. But… 

“What if there’s like, dead bodies in there or something?” he asks, and Scott just stares at him for a second. Stiles rolls his eyes—that’s a perfectly valid concern. Or maybe he watches too many police procedurals, whatever. “Okay, fine.”

Stiles holds his breath as he slowly unzips the suitcase, but nothing happens when he lets the top part flop back onto their crappy, threadbare rug. There’s a Dodgers hat on top, and Stiles grimaces. “Well, they have shitty taste in baseball teams.”

He sets the hat carefully aside and keeps digging. The person is neat, whoever they are, because everything is folded, and all the dirty clothes are even all contained in their own zippered bag. At first glance, there’s nothing too out of the ordinary—phone charger, American Gods, Calvin Klein briefs. Fancy, he thinks. There’s a monogrammed leather toiletry bag (DSH, he commits those initials to memory), and he pokes through it.

“I’m gonna make an educated guess that it’s a guy.”

“Why’s that?” Scott says, finally looking somewhat interested in this mystery.

Stiles holds up an electric razor. “And that he’s maybe not totally straight,” he says, brandishing a little bottle of lube that’s about three-quarters full.

Scott rolls his eyes. “Lots of people use lube.”

“Yeah, but do you travel with it?” Stiles counters, and Scott sighs.

“No,” he admits. “Did you find anything with his actual name on it?”

“Not yet,” Stiles says absently. He continues to rifle through the bag until he’s pretty sure he has his plan of attack. “Okay. I’m gonna find out who it is,” he says with a determined nod, and Scott frowns.

“How? This is New York City! There are literally millions of dudes here.”

“It’ll be like a real-life scavenger hunt,” Stiles says dreamily, ignoring Scott as he carefully lays his three chosen items out on the coffee table. “This is awesome.”

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I’VE BEEN THINKING...

… ABOUT THE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN OBI-WAN AND AHSOKA.

1) Ahsoka wasn’t chosen by Anakin, just like Obi-Wan wasn’t exactly chosen by Qui-Gon if you take JA into account (if you don’t, then the canon novel From a Certain Point of View does say no master was in any hurry to train him).

2) They left the Order as Padawans (again, if you take JA into account - if not, then Obi-Wan almost left the Order as a Padawan, though for very different reasons than Ahsoka).

3) They totally fight/disobey their Masters if said Masters do/say stupid stuff.

4) They befriend rebels and neutral people, and stick their noses into affairs that are none of the Republic’s concern (Melida/Daan if you count JA, Onderon, Mandalore, Felucia - Ahsoka really wanted to help the farmers).

5) Ahsoka uses Jar’Kai, Obi-Wan is pretty good at him himself (as opposed to Anakin who loses a hand one of the very rare times we see him trying to use two blades). 

(Aw gosh look at these two badass space peanuts I love them so much)

(GREEN LIGHTSABER JAR’KAI REVERSE GRIP GO OBI AND SOKA GO KICK THE BAD GUYS’ ASSES)

6) They have the same friends.
              - Satine (whom isn’t Anakin’s friend)
              - Bail Organa (still not Anakin’s friend)
              - Chewbacca (stiiiiill not Anakin’s friend)
              - Kanan (not Obi-Wan friend’s but practically worshipped him as a Padawan) and Ezra (briefly for Obi-Wan but it still counts, I’ll fight people on that)
              - Ventress aka their n°1 murderous ex-Sith frenemy (kinda Anakin’s frenemy too but good ol’ Onhaka is definitely closer to Obi-Wan and Ahsoka)
              - Hondo aka frenemy n°2 (kinda Anakin’s frenemy too but good ol’ Onhaka is definitely closer to Obi-Wan and Ahsoka)
              - Anakin (Obi-Wan’s best friend, Ahsoka’s best friend, and guys seriously you should reconsider your tastes in best friends)

6) They have the same enemies.
               - Grievous (Anakin saw him in person once and they didn’t even cross lightsabers)
               - Maul (whom they bested in combat several times - Anakin NEVER SAW MAUL IN PERSON EXCEPT THAT ONE TIME WHEN HE WAS NINE AND SAFE IN A COCKPIT LIKE A HUNDRED FEET AWAY AHKDOLEJHFGJKGFRTY HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE)
               - Pre Viszla (Anakin never met the dude)
               - Death Watch in general (Anakin never fought Death Watch, agaiiiiiiin)
               - DARTH FUCKING VADER AND THEY’RE BASICALLY THE ONLY JEDI TO FACE HIM AND WIN (Ahsoka lives, so it was at least a tie)

7) *sings* OH MY, MY MASTER DIED IN MY ARMS TONIGHT

(*still singing* Even though one of them is just undercover
My master died in my arms tonight)

8) Look at these smiles they give each other *sobs* it’s not a similarity but I don’t give a shit.

(LOOK AT THIS SOFT SMILE AND THOSE GENTLE EYES GOD MY HEART)

(I couldn’t take a good screenshot for Ahsoka but go and watch the scene again, it’s the sweetest smile ever omg)

9) The high level of sass

Where’s your army, Lady Tano?
Busy defeating yours.
It was so nice of your former masters to send you out alone and spare me the exertion of a proper fight. You’re not even a real Jedi.
It’ll be a fair fight then. You’re only half a Sith.
                                                                             ―Darth Maul and Ahsoka Tano

DUDES.  

Fuck Me (M)

Originally posted by jikookfantasy

Hi! This is a DOM Jungkook Smut that I wrote awhile back! I hope you enjoy~ (my requests are open so feel free to send in something you want me to write)

Genre: Smut 

Member: Jungkook

Word Count: 4137


Coming home I find Jungkook sitting on the couch with a controller in his hand as his eyes are glued intensely on the screen.

“You’re so childish Jungkook” I sigh, slipping off my heels. Jungkook is my roommate, normally I wouldn’t be all for a male roommate but sadly Jungkook is my best friend and begged to live with me.

A scowl forms on Jungkook’s face as he let’s out a puff of air, still keeping his eyes trained on the screen.

“I’m not a kid.”

Keep reading

Our party has arrived back in town in need of funds and unsure what our next step should be. We decide head to the Orion Guild, where we can earn some gold and hopefully get a clue as to where we should go next.

DM: As you enter, you see Guildmaster Cid in his usual spot on the counter. It’s early enough in the day that most of the tables are empty… [and so on]

Me: [Fighter] checks the board for bounties.

The DM puts down a small handful of papers in front of us–the bounties that we’re eligible to take at our current ranks in the guild. One bounty reads:

ROAD BLOCKED!

A Crash of Rhinoceros has taken up station NE of Neverwinter on the main trade road, charging those who try to pass. They need to be removed, by force if necessary.

Sister: This one shouldn’t take too long, it’s just on the road.

Me: And [Druid] will probably like it.

My sister looks confused, which I don’t understand since her druid’s been taking every opportunity to seek out new animals to wildshape.

Sister: What’s [Druid] got to do with bandits?

Me: What bandits?

Sister: The crash of rhinoceros?

Me: Oh, I think he meant crash as in group. Like, actual rhinos.

DM: Yep.

Sister: …But then how are they collecting the tolls?

There’s a moment of silence. I actually lean over to look at the bounty again, since I didn’t remember reading the word “tolls” anywhere. Then he speaks slowly:

DM: …what tolls?

She looks at us like we’re nuts.

Sister: The ones they’re charging people on the road…?

And then she gets it. Her whole face changes.

Sister: Oh. You mean the rhinos are actually charging people.

We had to break for a few minutes until we got the laughter under control.

Delivery Boy

Jeon Jungkook of BTS x reader (Y/N) smut. Plain and simple.

Originally posted by jimiyoong



Halloween, your favourite time of the year. You had always loved dressing up, even as a little girl.
Your family had always hosted a Halloween party and just because you were now an adult and off at school, it didn’t mean you were going to stop the party. Hell no. If anything, you knew it’d be crazier than any party your parents could throw, after all, it’d be full of young adults getting drunk in fancy dress and no doubt fucking in any corner they could.
You made a mental note to lock your bedroom door before people started to turn up.

Most of your housemates had gone off to different parties around the city and only one remained, Taehyung.
He had been almost as excited for the party as you and insisted on helping you plan and set it all up. He also insisted you went in matching outfits, dressed as an old-fashioned couple he saw in a painting in the loft that thoroughly creeped him out. That painting was now the pride of place above the drinks table for the duration of Halloween month, as you called it.
Taehyung hadn’t entered the living room since you put it up and it always amused you seeing him avoid it at all costs.

“Get the door Y/N!” Taehyung yelled from his room where he was well, you didn’t know what but you didn’t want to even question it after the last time you did and he went into explicit detail about the fantasy he was having while masturbating.

You groaned but dragged yourself to answer the front door, having barely heard it over the music you had playing.

On the other side of the door stood a male with dark hair and brown, doe eyes. He was wearing a pizza delivery uniform, a piece of paper in his hands.

“You’re early.” You mumbled, taking in his outfit. “Pizza delivery guy, huh? Honestly never seen that one before.” You mused, flashing the attractive stranger a grin. He blinked a few times then showed you the paper. “Wait, you’re actually a delivery guy?”

“Yeah.” He nodded slowly. “Am I at the wrong place?”

“No, I just wasn’t aware we ordered anything. One sec.” You backed up into the hallway to stand at the bottom of the stairs. “Yah! Did you order pizza?!” You yelled. Taehyung grunted back a yes in response, sounded breathless. “Ew.” You shuddered and returned tot he door. “Guess you definitely are.” She looked at the paper, reading the order. “How fucking much did he order?”

“Having a party, I assume?” He chuckled, looking at your outfit up and down.

“Nah, I just like dressing like a sexually frustrated Victorian woman in my spare time.” He let out a breath of understanding.

“We all have our kinks.” He teased and you gasped, reaching out to nudge him in faux offence. He giggled and you couldn’t help but smile, laughing to yourself.

Were you really flirting with the delivery guy?
You looked him over again, slower to really take in every inch of his being.
Yes. You were definitely flirting with the delivery guy.

“So, should I start bringing it up?” He asked, pointing over his shoulder to the car parked on the road.

“Oh right, yeah, I’ll help.”

“Okay.” He grinned, glad for the help and together, you ferried the takeout from the car and into the kitchen.

He looked down curiously as you set up the boxes on the counters, around already existing food displays.

“Wow, you guys really like Halloween, huh?” He spoke, looking at all the decorations in awe. A lot of which you had made by hand the months before ass it was cheaper than buying some that probably wouldn’t even fit your ideas anyway.

“We hate it.”

“You’re really sarcastic, huh?”

“Never.” You looked at him then to see him grinning at you in amusement. “You know, you kind of look familiar.” You tilted your head at him, knitting your brows together.

“So do you. Maybe we’ve crossed paths before?” He suggested, looking as lost as you felt trying to recall why you felt like you’d seen him before.

“Yeah maybe. Do you go to school here?”

“On campus?” He pointed to the floor, signifying the campus your house resided on.

“Nah, I meant the playschool down the road. You’re a child, right?” He squared his eyes, giving you a playful warning glance. “Aw, isn’t it cute when little boys think they can scare grown-ups?” A gasp of surprise left your lips when he suddenly closed the gap between you, your chests almost touching, his head tilted down to look at you menacingly, a glint in his eyes that sent shivers down your spine.

“Want to call me a little boy again, huh?” He challenged, licking his lips. “See where it gets you.”

“Oh, honey.” You scoffed, snapping back to yourself. You bravely took the last step between you, your toes touching, your chest gently pushed against his, not missing how he inhaled sharply and flicked his tongue out to wet his lips again. “You can’t be suggesting you can make me take back my words.” He nodded confidently. “Oh little boy, you can’t make me do shit.”

“Watch me.” He growled cockily before pushing you against the wall, his lips crashing to yours.

He had only knocked your door ten minutes previous and here you were making out with the delivery guy in a room chock full of sexual tension you two quickly created.
He let out a breathy moan when you bit his bottom lip gently. It was the single hottest thing you had ever heard and you knew you were wet.

“Fuck, is this seriously a thing that is actually happening?” You panted out, looking up into his eyes that were suddenly a lot darker, turning you on further.

“I really hope so.” He confessed.

“Fuck, me too.” You nodded and pulled him back down to lock your lips together, wasting no time and flicking your tongue out. He parted his lips and your tongues met, rubbing together earning moans from the both of you.

“When does your party start?” He asked when your lips parted only for yours to trace that intense, sharp jawline of his.

“Seven.” He checked his watch.

“It’s half six.”

“Plenty of time.” Without warning, he picked you up and sat you on his hips, pushing his body to yours. You gasped feeling his growing erection through all the layers of clothing between you.

“Okay I know this outfit probably took a lot of time but you need to take it off before I fucking rip it off.” He warned, practically growling as he glared at the layers of fabric that made up your skirt. You giggled and reached around to pull on the ribbon holding the back closed. He watched in impatient fascination ad you quickly removed the bottom half of your dress, leaving you in the tight blouse and underwear.
“I shouldn’t find this as hot as I do but fuck, I really do.” You giggled and circled your hips, rubbing against the large bulge in his trousers making him moan lowly.

“I can tell.” You teased.

“You’re saying I’m the only one turned on right now? Because I can feel how wet you are through my pants, sweetheart.” Your cheeks flushed in embarrassment.
Surely he was lying, it wasn’t possible to feel such a thing, right?
A shakey moan left your lips when he slid a hand between your bodies to touch his long fingers to your clothes heat.
“Oh, babygirl, you’re fucking soaked.” He cooed, smirking at you when your cheeks darkened. “Don’t be embarrassed."He pressed teasing kisses across your jaw as his voice dropped, whispering to you in a tone that was so low it shot straight to your core. "It’s so fucking hot.” He growled before his lips attached to your neck, sucking on the skin. You gasped and gripped his shoulders, fingers digging in when his fingers started to rub at you through your damp underwear.

“Wh-what’s your name?” You stuttered, his fingers hooking under your underwear to touch you directly. Your eyes closed and your head tipped back, absentmindedly grinding your hips down onto his digits as they teased you.

“Hm? My name? Why do you want-”

“I want to know what I should moan out.”

“Jungkook.” He rushed out without hesitation making you chuckle. “What’s your’s?”

“Y/N.” He hummed against your neck before saying your name in a breathy tone that made you moan his name back at him.

“My name sounds perfect coming from your lips.” Your legs tightened around him when he slid a finger into you. “God, you’re so fucking wet, my finger just slides right in. I bet you can take another huh Y/N? Think you can take more princess?” You nodded and a second finger followed his first. You moaned and held him tighter as they curled inside of you.

“J-Jungkook.” You almost pleaded breathlessly.

“Hm?”

“I-I don’t want your fingers.” He stopped his movements, ceasing abusing your walls with the pads of his fingers in search for your g-spot.

“What?” He looked rejected and leant back slightly, pulling his fingers out of you. “Should I leave?”

“No.” You laughed and brushed your lips over his. “I want your cock, baby.” His eyes sparked with lust again and he nodded. He put you down to unbuckle his belt, hands fumbling in anticipation. You giggled seeing he was growing frustrated with the button on his jeans that just wouldn’t open. You put your hands over his and opened the fly easily. He dropped his hands to his side, licking his dry lips, eyes not leaving your figure as you lowered onto your knees in front of him, pulling down his jeans as you went until they were around his knees.
Your eyes lifted to meet his gaze as you pulled down his boxers too. He bit his lip and threaded his fingers into your hair to tug you closer suggestively.
It was clear what he wanted you to do, where he wanted you but he didn’t want to make you do anything you weren’t comfortable with.

A smirk lifted your lips and you stuck your tongue out, flattening it against the underside of his erection before licking from the base upwards, swirling your tongue around the tip. Jungkook moaned, his fingers gripping your hair tighter. His eyes wanted to close and focus on the pleasure but you looked so damn sinful on your knees in front of him like that he couldn’t pass up the chance to drink in the sight.

It didn’t take long for your teasing motions on his erection to really wind him up. He was breathing heavily, body tensed, watching to thrust into your mouth but not following his body’s wishes, by the time she gripped your shoulders and pulled you up to your feet.

He spun you and pushed you against the wall. Your hands flew out to slap against the brickwork making you hiss in pain. But the hurt left almost instantly. Jungkook all but ripped your panties in his rush to get them off.

One large hand gripped your bare hip to hold you still, pull your arse towards him more.

Jungkook grabbed his dick with his free hand and allowed himself a few pumps, spreading his precum up and down his length, as he took in the sight of you bent over, braced against the wall with legs spread, waiting for him to fuck you.
As soon as his tip lined with your entrance, he started to push forward, entering you slowly.
Satisfied moans left both your lips at the feeling. It felt as if you had been waiting for that moment for a long time, months not way under an hour.

Jungkook’s hips met yours as he bottomed out and he allowed you both a few moments to get used to it, soak in the feeling of him filling you so deliciously before he started to rock his hips.
His thrusts were slow and pretty shallow at first, testing the waters before he picked up his rhythm, fucking you harder and deeper than anyone had in a long time.

Your fingers scraped against the wall, moans shamelessly leaving your parted lips as he hit deep within you.

Jungkook had his jaw clenched tight, trying to make as little noise as possible. As much as he was enjoying himself, he was almost enjoying hearing your noises of pleasure just as much.

You realised you could only hear the occasional grunt of effort from him and closed your mouth, sulking.

“W-what’re you doing?” He panted, slowing down slightly to talk without his voice breaking too much.

“I want to hear you.” You spoke.

“What?” He chuckled and fell still. You pushed up slightly and looked over your shoulder at him. He licked his lips at your dark expression, his hips shallowly thrusting into you again without him even really registering so.

“I want to hear how good you feel Jungkook. Moan for me baby.” You encouraged.

“You want that?”

“So fucking much.” He pulled your back to his chest making you whimper as he reached a new, better spot inside you, to kiss you heavily.
You moaned into his mouth when he returned to snapping his hips into you.
You had to pull out of the kiss, unable to focus on it when he was hitting the perfect spot inside you that made you see spots.

“You’re so fucking hot.” He moaned, wrapping one arm around your waist and pressing his palm against your chest to keep you against him int hat position. His other hand reached over to rest against the wall once he had moved you both forward before his hips went fucking wild.

You were practically screaming in pleasure, your nails dragging down his forearm, leaving red marks. Jungkook was certain you had even broken the skin but it only spurred him on.

“Fu-fuck, Jungkook.” You whined, your legs starting to shake.

“Are you going to cum?” He panted into your ear, his hot breath making you shiver as it fanned over your neck. You nodded. “Good, cum on my cock like a good girl, Y/N.”
A loud moan left your lips as the pleasure in your stomach exploding sending your hips jutting as your orgasm hit you.

Jungkook gritted his teeth, determined to last a little longer despite your walls clenching and spasming around him. But the second you moaned his name, he lost it and his hips slammed against you roughly a few times as he came, squeezing his eyes tight and burying his face in your neck.

Your walls clenched a little tighter at the sound of your name falling from his lips like a fucked out mantra.

Slowly, you both came down from your highs and caught your breath back.
Jungkook’s face scrunched into a wince against your neck as he pulled out of you before letting you go, a little reluctantly it felt, to pull his clothing back up and tuck himself away.

“Well, that’s the best tip I’ve ever gotten.” He sniggered and you rolled your eyes before laughing too, collecting your clothing. You turned to look at him sternly upon finding a hole in your underwear, at the waistband.

“Jungkook!” You exclaimed. He looked at the garment before grinning sheepishly at you. “These are my favourite ones!”

“I’m sorry, I’ll replace them.” He offered, taking them from your hand quickly to look them over. You ignored him to put your skirt back on, glad it was floor length and there was no chance anyone would know you were without underwear.

“Right, okay.” You held your hand out. He held the item closer. “You’re seriously going to steal my ripped underwear?”

“I need them so I know what I’m replacing.” He argued. You gave him a disbelieving look. “Like you want them back now they’re ripped anyway.” He scoffed and tucked the item into his pocket. You simply rolled your eyes again. “I should get back to work. I still have another delivery to do. My boss is going to kill me for being late. They’re going to get free pizzas now.” He sighed heavily.

“I’m sorry for letting you fuck me.” You retorted and he chuckled at your sarcasm.

“Never apologise for that. I’ll give away all the pizzas free if I can fuck you again.” You bit your lip, pretending to think as you walked him tot he front door. “So, can I see you again?” He asked turning back to walk tot he door after walking down the porch steps.

“You do owe me underwear.” You grinned. He grinned back and nodded. He checked his watch before looking between his car and you, debating something. He rushed over and held your face to press a heavy, lingering kiss to your lips.
“What’s that? So I don’t forget what you taste like?” You joked.

“Always leave them wanting more.” He winked then practically ran to his car to speed off for his next delivery.
You rolled your eyes and returned to the house, stopping at the hallway mirror to check your reflection and make yourself presentable.

“Did you just fuck the delivery guy?” You jumped hearing Taehyung’s teasing voice at the stairs. You looked over at him with a smirk and he started to cackle. “That’s my girl!” He high fived you before helping you get back into costume properly.

***

It was two hours later when you stopped in shock, seeing a familiar face stood at the bottom of the stairs with Taehyung, the pair goofing around with some of Taehyung’s other friends.
You had just come up from the haunted house in the basement.

“There she is!” Taehyung cooed spotting you. The boys all turned to look at you, the friends of Taehyung’s you had met pulling you to them in drunken affection.

“Alright, boys.” You laughed pulling away to stand between Taehyung and the familiar face.

“Oh, you haven’t met before, have you?” Taehyung drawled, shuffling drunkenly to lean against the stair railing. “This is Kookie.” He spoke pointing to your right, at Jungkook. You looked at him to see he was already smirking at you.

“Ah, the infamous Kookie.” You spoke nodding slowly. “Tae tells me you have like no balls when it comes to girls.” Their friends laughed as you insulted Jungkook. You smirked and he raised his eyebrows at you.

“Guess you know that’s a load of shit.” He replied, voice low.

The conversation was quickly pulled away from you two as Hoseok screamed as a fake spider landed on his head. Everyone erupted in laughter as he ran off to chase the culprit, promising their head on a spear.
The remaining group returned to the conversation, not even noticing as Jungkook moved closer to you and slyly put a hand on your arse.

“Still not wearing any panties huh? Naughty girl.” He teased, groping your flesh roughly.

“I’m not and it makes it that much harder to stop your cum running down my leg.” Jungkook sucked in a breath at that and you looked up at him bravely, not caring that your friends could catch you two flirting so openly, sexual tension already building between your close bodies. “I bet you’d like to see that, hm? Your cum spilling out of me.”

“So fucking much.”

You smirked and excused yourself, walking up to your room.
You knew Jungkook would follow shortly and you had a feeling every orgasm he gave you was going to be better than the last and you’d be damned if you weren’t going to take every chance to fuck your delivery boy.


For my girl @btsmuttin, hope you like it baby

Originally posted by nojamsdirtywater


~Chee

Man, I was so ready to watch Castlevania and cringe at yet another wild reinterpretation of Dracula, but erm

it happened in the right part of the country?

Lisa is from an actual real village?

there was a bit of traditional Romanian architecture?

and they kept (and did a pretty good job with) the names of the cities in Wallachia?

also. “I could pee in a bucket and tell him it’s beer” and “God shits in my dinner once again” are such brands of Romanian vulgarity and humour, oh man, I laughed so hard

Basically this was a series where I could actually look and see tidbits of my country on screen and that made me so happy omfg (I honestly don’t give a shit about historical inaccuracies in this one, I loved it so much)

(Ţepeş and Lisa were emotional manipulation at its finest, I wanted to cry and bitch, I already have an otp where a vampire goes mad with grief and commits genocide following their spouse’s death, I don’t need another one)

Returning the Favor

Characters: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: The next morning (after the events of “Beard Burn”), Steve’s girlfriend returns the favor ;)))

A/N: this is intended as the sequel to Beard Burn! Yay! Look i finished something that i promised i would do! Thanks again all you beautiful people for getting “Beard Burn” over 1k notes.  That’s crazy,,,

Warnings: all smut, some fluff.  oral sex (mr), language

Words: 2260

tags: @feelmyroarrrr @sistasarah-sallysaidso @daybreak96 @doct0rstrange @trade-baby-blues @yourtropegirl @lipstickandwhiskey @captainumeboshi @emily-james-barnes

also: @bkwrm523 you seemed excited about this ;)

and @daughterofthebrowncoats i dk i just tag you in everything and this is blowjobs ;)

Read Part One Here

(I should have used this gif for the first one dammit)


The next morning, you wake before Steve, eyes fluttering open against the annoying morning sun; you’d forgotten to close the blinds last night.  You groan and roll over onto your back, hitting Steve, who immediately wraps an arm around your stomach.  You glance up at him, expecting to find him awake, but he’s still fast asleep on his side, one arm bunched under his pillow, the other now lazily thrown across your stomach.  You smile and reach a hand up to run through his beard.  He looked so cute like this, his mouth open, lightly snoring, eyes squeezed shut against the sun.

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