oh i wanted to post these because look at the pretty people

Top 13 Most Unfuckable Men in Dragon Age (according to me, a lesbian)

Honorable Mention: Oghren

I am not including Oghren on the official list for a couple reasons. Firstly, jokes about how gross Oghren is are basically everywhere. I can’t make a remotely original joke on this subject because they have all already been made. Secondly, I don’t want to subject anybody to actually thinking about fucking Oghren. And third, it’s no fun punching down. Nobody likes Oghren except me. And I get it. Oghren is a pretty cool character who was grossly mishandled by writers who think sexual assault, alcoholism and homophobia are hilarious jokes and not serious issues. Sorry about all this, Oghren. Enjoy your free pass from being mocked by a lesbian on the internet.

13. Zevran Arainai

Zevran is the least unfuckable man in Dragon Age because he wouldn’t make it weird. He’d give you a nice lay, do a good job, and then high-5 you afterwards. He’s nice-looking and experienced and would overall be an almost not-unpleasant experience. If there was a gun to my head and someone forcing me to pick a Dragon Age man to fuck, it would be Zevran.

12. RDP Sten

I say Realistic DAO Project Sten and not regular Sten because frankly RDP Sten is the true Sten. Honestly, look at this man. Assuming you didn’t die during intercourse, he’d make you breakfast the next morning, then reshackle your roof and do your taxes. RDP Sten would take care of you. RDP Sten would treat you right.

11. Justice

…as long as he gave Anders’ body a bath first, because wow he sure is a guy who lives in a sewer. Justice is a friendly Fade spirit curious about the mortal world and its many wonders. Fucking Justice would be a nice opportunity to show an otherworldly being a good time. Not to mention the novelty. Think of the puns you could make afterwards. “It was a spiritual experience.” “It was truly righteous.” “Justice isn’t easy–no, Justice is hard.”

10. Varric Tethras

Varric would be the ideal sugar daddy. He’d indulge you, buy you nice things, tell you stories, and when it’s time to go to bed, you’d just have to put up with him bringing his crossbow with him. Honestly, he probably wouldn’t even get to the sex. You’d have half your clothes off and then he’d start telling a story and three hours later he’s cried a little about his ex and fallen asleep cuddled up to his crossbow. Meanwhile, you are free to go back to your house with your money and jewelry. Ideal.

9. Alistair

Alistair is inexperienced, but a nice boy. You could show him a good time, and then pat him on the head and give him a cookie afterwards. He’s funny and nice and if you aren’t his first lay, it’ll probably be Morrigan and she would probably turn into a spider halfway through just to fuck with him. I’m willing to fuck him just to spare him that being his first time. Alistair might make it weird and try to give you a flower or something, but he’s young and easily dissuaded. Fucking Alistair would be acceptable and satisfying in some ways.

8. Iron Bull

He ugly, but otoh, monster dong, if you’re into that. Iron Bull wouldn’t make it weird emotionally, but he would definitely make it weird sexually. Assuming you survived, you would have a hell of a story. I would bring that up at every cocktail party I went to for the rest of my life. “I fucked a minotaur man,” I’d say, sipping my martini. “He had an eyepatch, and a dong the size of your forearm. I’m lucky to have survived.” The party guests gasp and fan themselves at the scandal.

7. Nathaniel Howe

I have no feelings either way about fucking Nathaniel Howe. I would show up, do the deed, and leave. Maybe give him a thumbs up, to be polite. My entire soul doesn’t rebel against the concept, but neither can I think of any benefits to fucking Nathaniel Howe.

6. Sebastian Vael

I wouldn’t hate to fuck Sebastian, and he seems nice, I guess. He’d be on par with Nate, except for the fact that he’s a devout fantasy Catholic. I’m morally opposed to fucking Catholics, because I don’t like Catholicism, and because I don’t want to deal with their ensuing guilt. I would tolerate fucking Sebastian.

5. Fenris

Fenris is objectively one of the best-looking men in Dragon Age, but oh lord, the canon romance path is so much. I’d do it just so I could touch his pretty hair, but I’d feel real bad about it. I like fenris. I don’t wanna cause him troubles. On the other hand, Isabela seems to manage it without much emotional fallout, so perhaps it would be alright. Fucking Fenris might be perfectly fine, but it might end terribly for all involved. As a lesbian I’m not gonna risk it.

4. Anders

Anders is a nasty sewer man who has no particularly attractive physical features to make up for it. He’d probably be an alright lay, but if you fucked him he’d definitely fall in love with you. Possibly he’d have already been in love with you for like three years. Then post-fuck he’d say a lot of weird stuff and ask to move into your house, and you’d be so worried about his eating habits and his stress that you’d be like “sure :)”, and then you’d have to change your name and flee the city to escape. Don’t fuck Anders.

3. Blackwall

I previously had Blackwall a spot higher, but then when I went to google a picture of him I realized he actually looks okay. Lumberjack aesth. Nice beard. Probably nice chest hair. Good muscles. But he’s also kind of a stinky old man who is kind of like your dad, and he would make his weird guilt issues your problem. I’d rather not, although I grant that if he was a couple decades younger he might be Acceptable.

2. Cullen

I would really hate to fuck Cullen. I find him morally repugnant, physically unimpressive, and overall vile. Not to mention that he seems like the kind of sexually inexperienced dude to just try inserting Tab A into Slot B with no foreplay–but then, would you really want foreplay from this guy? At least it would all be over within 5 minutes and then you could make your escape through the window.

1. Solas

Solas is the absolute most unfuckable man in Dragon Age. Not only is he bald, and a genocidal maniac, but he would also get weirdly hung up on you. Then he’d like, haunt your dreams. “Vhenaaaaaaan,” you hear every night forever, to your horror. “You’re not like other girls,” he says, before showing you a picture of his fursona, which is a wolf. I would rather do literally anything else but fuck Solas. I thank G-d every day that Solas is not real, and that I am in no danger of ever fucking him. Solas is the least fuckable man in Dragon Age.

*pounds fist on table* ok i need to talk about the god-tier klance moments in s3e03 “the hunted” because damn there’s a couple scenes that are so powerful and important and i just….holy shit. buckle up, y’all.

this episode is fucking great for a lot of reasons, but one of my favorite parts of it is how much it shows the development of keith & lance’s relationship: especially 1) how good lance has become at grounding keith & helping him control his reckless impulses, and 2) how keith feels like he can be open and honest with lance about his fears/insecurities––which is a big fucking deal because we’ve almost never seen him do this. 

the first scene that really struck me is this part where keith is leading the team after lotor and it’s just….a big mess. he’s not thinking about keeping the team together. allura’s falling behind and he’s not paying any attention. he’s not considering that this might be a trap. all he can think about is diving in headfirst without considering the consequences.

and then this happens:

uhhhh….oh my god??

look, we know how keith gets. we know how hot-headed and stubborn he can be. i mean listen, we’re talking about this kid who literally tried to fight zarkon by himself.

and yet…..even in the middle of this intense chase, lance gets through to him. he brings keith down from that battle-rage and makes him see reason. and he does it in a way that’s straightforward and brutally honest (“you’re endangering the team and you can’t do this”) which i think is exactly why it works. that’s the kind of direction keith needs, and tbh out of everyone on the team it makes the most sense that it comes from lance.

i’m just

me: hey can i get a fucking uhhhhh lance being keith’s impulse control
dreamworks: *gives me this*
me: *kicking down the door* HOLY FUCK MOM

and look i was already sobbing over this one small part but then we get THIS….THIS SCENE….

oh boy oh wow where do i stART?!

god damn this scene is beautiful––visually, thematically, it’s just …. so powerful and significant.

first of all i need to freak out a little over the way the scene is set up and how wonderful the symbolism is. 

it starts with keith literally in the shadows, and then slowly emerging and drifting up towards lance with their lions facing each other. lance & red are above keith & black which is really interesting.

as we all know, keith is the leader right now. and yet, both literally and figuratively, he’s not positioning himself higher than lance––in fact, he’s doing the very opposite. and his lion doesn’t have her head lowered in shame either; the lions are directly looking each other in the eyes (which i feel like is pretty damn rare??) and that’s very meaningful. everything about the visual setup of the scene just screams openness, honesty, vulnerability. 

(side note: also wow @ that red and blue background, amiright)

and then we have everything that keith says. and boy….there’s so much to unpack here:

- he admits it was his fault and he led everyone into a trap
- he also admits that everyone warned him (lance warned him) and he wasn’t listening
- and because of that he put everyone else in danger

and man i gotta give huge props to steven yeun here because his voice acting in this scene….jeez it broke my heart. keith says all this so quietly, his voice is literally shaking. shit, he sounds close to tears. this is possibly the closest we’ve ever seen keith to totally breaking down and it’s just…..it hurts so much and it’s so important.

it really hits you in this moment that keith is a kid. he’s 16 years old!! he didn’t want to lead the team & he doesn’t know how to do it. he can’t do it by himself. he doesn’t say any of that explicitly here but it’s 100% clear that that’s exactly what he’s saying.

and he says this to lance of all people. lance, his supposed “rival”! you would think lance would be the last person he’d want to turn to for reassurance or to blatantly admit “wow i fucked up real bad.” and yet….here we are. it’s moments like these that really prove that under the surface, these two don’t hate each other in the least. they like each other. they respect each other. they rely on each other!! (*whispers* space ranger partners….) 

and lance’s response only proves my point even more. he could easily have said “i told you so” or otherwise berated keith for his mistake. but he doesn’t! his answer is:

- yes, you messed up.
- but we’re going to fix it. we. i can’t stress that enough! he doesn’t say “you messed up and now you have to do something about it.” he doesn’t say “you messed up and now i’m going to take over and do something about it.” he’s essentially saying “yeah you made a mistake but that’s in the past….and now we’re going to take care of it together.” 

and that’s?? so great?? because keith more or less admitted that he was feeling this huge burden weigh down on him, and lance––in his own subtle way––lifted that weight off keith’s shoulders. he’s reassuring keith that he’s not alone in this. *wipes tears from my eyes*

and if all that wasn’t enough, keith immediately saying “you’re right” makes it all the more significant. he’s openly admitting once again that he fucked up, but he’s also agreeing with lance’s statement that they can still turn things around and fix his mistake as a team. which is…..wow. 

tl;dr - everything about this pair of scenes just proves how keith & lance work so well together and need each other. it shows how important it is for them to be open and honest with each other, and demonstrates how they both have that capability. 

and i’m gonna scream about it for a hundred years. 

Little things you can do to feel better if you are trans and you can’t really transition right now

For guys

  • Baseball caps? Those are good.
  • Short haircuts. If anyone questions, say it’s for convenience.
  • For your neck: fang pendants (very badass). Or a dapper lil bowtie.
  • Big ass stompy boots.
  • Those cool belt buckles. You can get a basic one or something with a cool design (like a dragon!).
  • Don’t shave. Let your body hair grow. Unless you feel uncomfortable.
  • Buy some spicy-smelling perfumes or other cosmetics. Or if there is something that says “Forest” on it, this one is also good.
  • If you can, try some weightlifting. It will make your muscles better and release some of that sweet sweet testosterone. But remember, fat and skinny men are also very handsome, so if you can’t, don’t sweat it.
  • Eat plenty of protein for a testosterone boost. Also, zinc from seafood - like shrimp and salmon especially - will help that chemical magic. Leafy greens, pomegranate, coconuts, garlic also help. Watch out for soy and tofu! They raise estrogen. And raisins are great, but dried apricots are not.
  • Remember that no matter what you are 100% man (unless you are a demiguy/bigender, then you are 50% man or whatever it looks like for you, that is still very cool, and if you are genderfluid and currently a dude, that’s still very good and valid).

For gals

  • Kitten ear beanies are so pure and good (just like you).
  • Let your hair grow to a nice length. If anyone questions, say you found a new style.
  • For your neck: simple crystal pendants (very pretty). 
  • Crystal bracelets!
  • Lil ballet flats.
  • Shaving can make you feel a whole lot better. Remember - some cis girls also have to shave!
  • Just a little bit of lip balm goes a long way. Oh! And clear nail polish!
  • Sweet-smelling cosmetics are your best friend. You can probably get on eBay or in your local store a nice bottle of vanilla body mist.
  • Google some exercises for a bigger butt, if you want to try it. If you can’t, remeber less-curvy women are also beautiful.
  • Eat plenty of soy, flaxseed, sesame seed, dried apricots… I know that those give you a bit of extra estrogen. Apparently coffee can also do it? Getting estrogen from diet is harder. Just eat a lot of tasty fresh food. Remember to treat yourself.
  • Remember that no matter what you are 100% woman (unless you are a demigirl/bigender, then you are 50% woman or whatever it looks like for you, that is still very cool, and if you are genderfluid and currently a lady, that’s still very good and valid).

For nonbinary pals

  • Simple beanies.
  • Google “androgynous/unisex hairstyles”. Look how many cool options you have! You might tweak one to your needs, like make it longer, or shorter, or add some cool hair dye…
  • For your neck: scarves. They come in many colors and patterns, cover up your neck so you don’t get cold, also you can hide your neck bump or lack thereof.
  • Friendship bracelets!
  • Trainer shoes.
  • Baggy hoodies are really nice.
  • You can shave and don’t wear makeup. Or rock the beard and eyeshadow look. Or really, anything else.
  • Cosmetics? Citrus and lavender are considered unisex scents. You can also wikiHow to Make Perfume and mix some scents you like at home.
  • Exercise, if you are healthy enough to do it, is good. Try running and yoga. Remember, media sells us the myth that androgyny=thinness, but it’s bullcrap. Fat, curvy, muscular people can all be nonbinary and/or androgynous.
  • You can look up the guys and gals sections too. Maybe you will find something that helps you.
  • Remember that your identity is 100% valid and true, no matter what. Yes, any kind of identity. No matter if it’s a neutral void or a mix of everything, no matter if it’s stable or changes. It’s valid because you are valid.

bismuth is the biggest fountain of wasted potential in all of su.

  • she’s a viewpoint on the war who isn’t caught up in idolising and mourning rose quartz. even in just the special she had, she told us so much about rose that pearl, garnet etc had just never said. imagine how different steven’s character arc could have been if he’d had bismuth there to talk to about this stuff.
  • her design. like, that is honestly one of the most unique character designs on tv right now. freaking RAINBOW DREADLOCKS! that’s just so cool.
  • bismuth meeting peridot and lapis. i mean bismuth and lapis is HUGE because of how lapis got poofed, and then the shared experience of being trapped for 6000 years by people you trusted. on the flip side, bismuth and peridot are fellow tech-orientated rebels, imagine what they could get up to together!
  • (”wait. you called yellow diamond WHAT?” “a clod.” “to her face?!” “well, over the official diamond communication line…” “you used the official diamond line?! peridot, listen, that is one of the coolest things i have ever heard.” “i know, i’m pretty great.”)
  • bismuth and amethyst! bismuth is so huge on the “you can be anyone you want to be” thing, and you can see how that would affect amethyst. like, look at what happened in the special - bismuth didn’t even question amethyst’s size, she just said that it was nice to have another quartz around and was impressed by amethyst’s whip. there is so much potential for such a great friendship to be struck up there.
  • (like. if we’re not going to go the ame/dot route, thanks zuke, then amethyst/bismuth? hello? it’s right there?)
  • FUSIONS. give me a caring, thoughtful and powerful garnet/bismuth. give me an elegant engineer pearl/bismuth. give me a flexible, scrappy amethyst/bismuth. give me a conflicted but ultimately heroic steven/bismuth. give me a total macgyver level genius peridot/bismuth. lapis/bismuth we can probably skip though. maybe in a few hundred years when lapis is feeling better, but maybe never.
  • bismuth meets connie. they both think the other is awesome. bismuth makes connie her own sword. connie is so happy. she introduces bismuth to the fantasy and sci-fi genres in return.
  • (”that’s ridiculous! he’s a dog AND a copter, you can’t ask him to just be one!” “i know! the military-industrial complex is so corrupt, using individuals as pawns in the pursuit of endlessly escalating conflict without a thought for the effects on those people!” “EXACTLY! connie, you’re saying what we’re all thinking!”)
  • bismuth and greg would be… interesting. i’m not sure i have the words for it rn? but yeah. really interesting.
  • bismuth and the corrupted gems, oh my god! how would she feel, seeing her friends and foes alike turned into mindless monsters, knowing that for thousands of years the cgs have been trying to save them to no avail?
  • bismuth vs jasper. the two big buff warrior ladies duking it out for what they believe in, becoming worthy opponents.

just… so much potential…

I’ve wanted to talk for So Long about the portrayal of anxiety in YOI but I’ve been having so much trouble putting together what I want to say in the most effective manner. I kept trying to come at this in a more analytical fashion, but considering that this is such a personally important topic to me, I’m going to try a more emotional approach. Something I don’t normally do.

So really, to start off, I wanna say that I’m so damn thankful for the way Yuuri is written. Really, seriously. I don’t think I’ve ever had the ability to relate more to character; Yuuri is close to a mirror of my own experiences with anxiety and it’s so fantastic to have a model of development and growth for me and people like me. I found the portrayal to be frighteningly accurate, from types of thoughts, behaviors, mannerisms… I think the episode that stood out to me the most in terms of Yuuri’s anxiety was ep7, aka Yuuri’s on-screen panic attack episode. 

The first thing I noticed was this: 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself in that exact position. I bounce my legs when I panic, just like Yuuri is doing here. Head in his hands, breathing heavily, bouncing and jostling limbs. This isn’t the Mary-Sue cutesy portrayal of anxiety–this is a real anxiety disorder. It’s not pretty. It’s not easy. It can’t be fixed with a single word or a touch or a person. Quite frankly, it’s ugly and you lose control of your body. 

Keep reading

Some hilarious writing prompts

Alright so a few days ago I decided to look for some hilarious text posts on tumblr and I laughed so much I just had to write some prompts! (is possible to be customized)
(Send me requests with 1/1+ prompt/s. I write about a lot of fandoms and also a lot of different things : one shots/scenarios/imagines/headcanons/chats/conversations/aesthetics/alomst anything) REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

*1. Do I look like I give a fuck?
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*2. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you again for taking advantage of my compassionate and forgiving nature! HOw dare you.
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*3. Me? Overreacting? Probably.
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4. I used to be passive aggressive, but now I’m aggressively passive. Don’t mess with me kiddo. I’ll be right here. I’ll fucking forgive you.
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5. A: Whar are you doing?
B: Avoiding.
A: Avoiding what?
B: Everything.
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*6. This was impulsive. Probably shouldn’t have done it. WHO CARES?
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*7. You’re really cute and it’s ruining my life because I think about kissing you all the time.
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8. A: It’s okay, I’m not mad.
    A (5 mins later): Actually? You can go to Hell.
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9. I hate people who get personally offended when I’m in a bad mood, likeI’m not mad at you Susan (name), I’m mad at the world!
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10. A to A: Bitch, if you actually applied yourself in like…anything, you’d be dangerous ,damn my lazy ass.
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11. I don’t know what I’m feeling, but there’s a lot of it.
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12. Not to dictate your life, but drop your shitty friends.
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13. That sounds like responsibility and I want no part in it.
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14. Why am I better than everyone? Jesus, life’s hard.
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15. A: How do you make someone holy?
B: You beat the hell out of them.
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16. A: I’m amazed of how insignificant we actually are.
B: Not me, I’m important.
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17. If anyone can do it, then someone who isn’t me can do it.
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18. In the old days of one week ago things were different. Now look at us - slightly older than we were back then, other clothes and such.
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19. I’m not going to claim that I know everything, I’m simply going to act like it.
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*20. You have to “see it to believe it”, so as long as I’m not looking I don’t have to believe in anything.
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21. I’m visualising a powerful mystical energy at the moment.
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22. If I don’t learn anything from my mistakes then I don’t have to consider them mistakes in the first place.
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23. Why the hell is there always this one weak bitch in the group that isn’t down with murder? No offence though.
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24. A: If you ever feel stupid, or weak, or powerless, just remember that I, am not.
B: THanks.
A: You’re welcome.
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25. I wanna do dirty stuff with you like farming.
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26. A: What are you reading?
B: 10 tips for beutiful hair the Government doesn’t want you to know.
A: wHAT the fuck?
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27. A: I’m tired of these constant near-death experiences.
B: (opinional) don’t be a whiny bitch, bitch.
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28. Man, how many eye contact until date?
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29. God has a favourite comedy tv series and it’s called “my life”.
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30. Sometimes all you can say is “yikes” and then just on the fuck on.
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31. Why is everyone having their mid-life crisis at like 19?
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32. It’s a beutiful day to give me money, honey.
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33. Women aren’t complicated, you’re just dumb.
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34. Well this social situation isn’t going the way I acted it out in the shower.
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35. No offence, but my favourite hobby is staying hydrated and beautiful.
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36. I’m actually pretty cool if you give me like 5 tries to get it right.
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37. Today I’m feeling cloudy with a chance of sarcastic.
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38. Be prapared to add a cute emoji next to my name in your contacts list because you’re gonna love me.
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*39.A: Babe, I’m not grabbing your boob, I’m grabbing your heart.
B: That’s my right boob though.
A: Babe.
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40.Every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough.
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41.What makes me feel like a failure the most is when I can’t remember the answet to a Harry Potter trivia question.
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42.I hate it when I’m really nice…And then people are just not that nice? Like what the fuck.
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43.Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
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*44.Is your name candle? Because I wanna blow you.
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*45. So, was that just awkward eye contact, or were we checking eachother out?-

46.You know, having feelings is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch.
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47.My turn ons? Well I don’t know, maybe some fucking common sense.
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48.I may seem like an angry person on the surface, but deep inside I’m actually angrier.
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49.I ship me and that boat.
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50.Listen. I did mean to make you upset and I do think your opinions are shit. But you’re still my friend so it’s okay.
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51.Because my two moods are like glitter and death.
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*52.My kink is closing the fucking bathroom door, because no one wants to see you fucking pee!
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53.If I go to Hell I’m gonna constantly torture everyone by continuously asking if it’s hot in here or is it just me.
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54.Oh my God are you seeing this shit?
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55.Graduated top of my class from Hogwarts school of bitchcraft and misery.

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56.A (shows up at your door 10 years after we had an argument): aND ANOTHER THING

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57.I’ll betray all of you in the Hunger Games.

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58.Well, well, well, if it isn’t my old friend, the dawing realization that I fucked up real bad.

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59.I’m a screamer. Not sexually, just life in general.

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60.I’m not racist, I hate everyone equally.

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61.Tell me I’m cute or something, so I can roll my eyes at you, but then blush when I think about it later.

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62.You know when your hair is greasy and it makes you feel so bad about yourself? And your entire life. Everything is awful because my hair is greasy.

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63.True love is having a crush even when he got a haircut you know.

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64.Emotions? You know, I just push my tear back into my eye and tell it “Not now, you little bastard!”.

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65.Are we gonna hold hands, or what?

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66.My soul leaving my body, but with one of those slide whistle sound effects.

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67.A: I love you.

B: What if I got a bowl cut?

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68.I should really stop planning my future around being rich or famous…but I can’t.

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69.I’m aggressively thibking about having sex with you and trying to keep a straight face at the same time. Do you know hOW hard that is?

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70.My opinion is no.

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71.Did you fall from heaven, because so did Satan.

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72.What to hear a fairytale? Once upon a time you weren’t such a little bitch.

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73.Which is messier - my life or my hair?

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74.How can you face the problem when the problem is your face?

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75.Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to know wHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.

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76.Read a girl who dates books.

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77.My hands are cold let me put them in your pants.

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78.I’m sorry, you must be at least level 4 friend to unlock my tragic backstory.

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79.My therapist once told me that I have this obsession with seeking revenge…we’ll see about that.

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80.You have lips, I have lips…interesting.

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81.Do my dark undereye circles and unwashed hair turn you on?

/PART TWO/


/170715 ; a Temporary side note: please for the moment don’t send me requests with the numbers that have a (*). I’ve received so many requests with those, I’m starting to run out of ideas :D Thank you ! / - persuasivus

... Somehow, Still Talking About This Captain America Shit (Now With Bonus Spider-Man and Agents of SHIELD)

So now Secret Empire has revealed its Shyamalan Twist and given the readers a Good Guy Steve Rogers as well as Hydra Cap, and the kinds of dickbags who, when this whole bullshit began were dismissing people’s complaints with “oh come on, don’t you know how comics works, it’s all going to be put back at the end, blah blah blah…” are crowing I-Told-You-So’s.

But here’s the thing:

Yeah, fucknuts.  We always knew this.

Keep reading

Homestuck Pool Party Headcanons

John: Canonballs in IMMEDIATELY, he is yelling and he is fucking excited move out of the way this boy is coming through!! Also, because he has a breath aspect I am 413% certain that he can stay underwater for indefinite amounts of time and you can bet your ass he’s going around grabbing people’s feet to freak them out. He and Terezi have a contest to see who can make the most people jump, I will not say who wins I will only say that it is unfortunate for everyone involved. He and Dave are an unstoppable chicken team, they have never lost and will do Whatever It Takes to make sure that remains true.

Dave: Is just chillin, he cares more about keeping his shades dry than swimming around. He will go hard as hell in Marco Polo tho, if you thought he was too cool to jump at the nearest person faster than the speed of light you were wrong buddy he will do what it takes to WIN. Also, when he is the Marco he will (unfairly) target Karkat. This is frustrating. “I’m not even being that loud” Karkat protests for the umpteenth time Dave tags him. “Bullshit” everyone else says, but there’s still a rule that Dave can’t tag Karkat more than five times in a row because really Dave we know you love hearing him yell but Enough Please.

Karkat: Is Bad At Marco Polo. He is so loud. My son. Please. Is very hesitant to get into the water at first bc he’s sensitive to the cold and would rather angrily sweat than deal with the initial shock of getting in. Dave will patiently chill nearby until Karkat is ready, or Dave decides that Karkat is ready in which he will absolutely drag him in. Karkat does not know how to swim so he won’t go past the shallow end, and considering how short he is, uh, that’s not very much of the pool. Dave has to carry him sometimes which he complains about A Lot but secretly kind of likes it whoops. Karkat and Sollux are the shittiest chicken team, Karkat is too afraid of falling in to have any sort of effective strategy and Sollux is like “Karkat just push him” and sort of plows into the other team which just leads to Karkat screeching and nothing gets done.

Roxy: LOVES SWIMMING WITH HER FRIENDS!!! Real people?? That she’s hanging out with?? And you KNOW she’s excited to wear that cute as fuck bikini she alchemized months ago ‘just in case’ ;) ;) ;). After years of knowing Jane and her silly prankster shenanigans, John will absolutely not get the drop on her no sir, he tries to grab her foot she will raise that leg and pull the boy out of the water and give him the Mom Look™. This is war. John will not win. She loves being with Jane and Roxy and her boys!! She is just full of so much love it’s incredible. She deserves this so much.

Calliope: Doesn’t know much about swimming or why humans (and trolls ish) find it so enjoyable, but Roxy is excited so she is too! Interestingly enough, cherubs Do Not Float. Roxy is waving a nervous Callie into the pool and she’s coming down the ladder and once it gets to her chin everyone expects her to do something but no, she makes it to the bottom of the pool and just walks like normal over to where Roxy is. The water level comes up to just below her nose and she has to tilt her head back to speak. “Like this?” She asks excitedly, ‘uh,,, yeah,,,like that’ everyone responds nervously, giving big smiles and thumbs up because they don’t want to disappoint her.

Jade: A master swimmer, she and Jake grew up on an island in the middle of the goddamn pacific my girl knows how to GO. No one realized how fucking ripped Jade was. Jade is ripped as heck. She’s got back and shoulder muscles like an absolute goddess and everyone is like holy shit? Jade? Have you been benching pumpkins all these years? She likes chilling with Jane and Roxy and Calliope because she has been longing for some gals to hang with forever. Not that she doesn’t love Rose, she does, it’s just, they have such differing personalities and anyways it’s kind of hard being around her and Kanaya bc they’re so cute it makes your teeth hurt.

Rose: She and Kanaya have matching floppy sun hats, they love laying out in the sun because Kanaya is a little nervous around water thanks to a certain sea-dweller *cough* eridan *cough*. Rose doesn’t mind, her swimsuits are more for show than swim anyways. She’s got some really cool and intricate goth-y ones and some nice lighthearted pastel ones, an orange and yellow fancy one-piece and a frilly lavender one. Rose has a new appreciation for sunlight but still religiously applies sunscreen because a home girl may be immortal, but fuck if she is gonna deal with any nasty sunburns after defeating the fucking embodiment of evil.

Kanaya: As previously stated, very nervous around water, but so so happy to be in the sun?? It’s not as bright as the one on Alternia which is fine because that means her troll friends can enjoy it too, but she’s literally just so happy to be around people that enjoy the sun the way she does because she’s felt wrong and different about it for years and she finally found someone that understands her ahhshshsjs. She designs all of Rose’s swimsuits and loves seeing her wear them. When it gets dark out, she likes to turn on the glow a little and all these cute little furry wingbeasts will flock to her?? “Those are moths” Rose tells her. “These are my children now” Kanaya pats Rose’s arm, they’re her children too because that’s how human marriage works she’s pretty sure

Dirk: Is so awkward oh my godddd, a little uncomfortable in his body actually? This boy might have muscle but he is all arms and legs and doesn’t know what to do with them because he’s never fuckifnfnfn been around people before. Doesn’t say “Marco” during Marco Polo, he just listens. Breath too loud? You’re tagged. Splash a little? Tagged. Move? Tagged. He’s never Marco for more than two minutes because he’s so in tune with his reflexes that no one even stands a chance. With Jake on his shoulders, they make a decent chicken team, but they’re too worried about each other to be effective. “You okay up there?” He wants to make sure. Someone is tipping Jake over oh no get him off my shoulders is he okay, oh he’s fine, yes I know how the game works Roxy, no Rose why don’t you get in the pool and do a better job before you come for me like that. Rose and Kanaya, in an extremely rare occurrence, do get in for a round of chicken. They beat Dirk and Jake almost immediately. They return to the deck. This never happened and we don’t speak of it.

Jake: Is bad at Marco Polo, he’s an amazing swimmer but he’s not…quiet. After growing up on that island, fighting and swimming, Jake is also Ripped as Heck. Dirk blushes his fucking ass off the first time he sees Jake shirtless. Jake acts all clueless like oh? What’s wrong Dirk? Is something the matter? But he knows exactly what he’s doing and if he’s subtly flexing in front of him, well. That can’t be helped. He may suck during chicken with Dirk, but with Jade on his shoulders? Hoo boy, they give Dave and John a run for their money. He is also John’s favorite to grab the feet of because his reactions are always so over the top with his phrasing. “Horsefeathers!” He grabs at his foot in panic because his first thought is it was one of the monsters from his island, then he sees it was just John who is laughing his ass off because, horse feathers? Really? “I say,” Jake huffs indignantly even though he’s smiling now. “Warn a fellow!”

Jane: Looks rockin’ in her swimsuits because she’s wearing the whole high waisted pinup style ones and?? She’s super gorgeous? Roxy makes sure to tell her that every five seconds just in case she forgets. She and Roxy make a decent chicken team, usually they’re laughing so hard by the end of it that whoever was on top can’t do anything and they fall off because they don’t care about winning they’re just having such a good time. She and Roxy take turns carrying Callie around when the water gets too deep, not that Callie needs to be above the water per se as she seems to have no trouble breathing, but it just makes everyone a little more comfortable and anyways Callie loves it.

Terezi: Killer at Marco Polo for obvious reasons, sometimes she gets tagged on purpose just to show off how quickly she can find people. The only person she’s never been able to get is John, he uses his windy powers to obscure his scent so she can’t “see” him. He is her Marco Polo white whale. One day, John, one day. She and Vriska are terrifying during chicken, Vriska will plow full speed towards the opposing team and Terezi is ready to Throw Hands. The most intense games are between them and John and Dave, both John and Terezi are on top and they fuckin battle it out so hard that Dave and even Vriska start to get nervous on the bottom.

Sollux: Says the water feels slimy. “No shit,” Karkat tells him. “It’s water you fucking shitstain.” Sollux cheats during chicken by using his psiionics to keep Karkat on his shoulders which only makes Karkat mad because he’s terrified of falling in and holy shit Sollux I don’t care what you think your powers are doing I’m gonna fall in fuck fuck fuck. “No I got you” Sollux assures him. He does not. Karkat is not got. Oh well. Sollux mostly likes chilling on inner tubes, plural. He has a blue one and a red one because he’s too tall to fit in just one. “Get a bigger inner tube” Karkat complains. “Perhaps get one of those long, recliner like ones?” Kanaya suggests. No. Sollux will use two inner tubes. He will make the sacrifice of comfort for his aesthetic.

I’ve been toying with the idea for a long time that some of the things Yuuri says, especially in the first couple episodes, are not exactly the truth and should be looked into farther. Honestly, we knew Yuuri was unreliable the moment the show opened–he referred to himself as “dime-a-dozen,” when he is literally the only male skater certified by the JSF within canonverse. 

And he made it to the GPF, you know? He’s one of the top 6 skaters in the world, right off the bat! It took us a few episodes to understand Yuuri’s character to realize the context of these statements, but we figured out pretty early on that Yuuri is the embodiment of Unreliable Narrator™. Especially after ep10, jfc. 

Anyway, why I’m bringing this up is because Kubo seemed to confirm a little theory of mine I’ve had stewing for a while and I wanted to share it with you.

So. Episode 1. The commemorative photo scene. 

I wanna first establish that this scene took place before the banquet. During the series run, sometime just afterwards, and occasionally even now there’s debate over when that scene took place. It wouldn’t make sense to happen after the banquet because they’re not only still wearing the team jackets, but they’re also wearing passes

The outside sign has information about the competition 

and Victor is talking to Yuri about his routines

which he probably wouldn’t do if it was up to a day later. 

We know how the rest of the scene goes. Victor seems to not recognize Yuuri at all, mistakes him for a fan, asks if he wants a photo, and then Yuuri leaves, thoroughly humiliated. Or, at least, that’s Yuuri’s version of what happened. I think generally everything that was said got said, all the movements and series of events were the same, but the implications of the offer were different. 

I have multiple anxiety disorders. When I remember something that I felt was a misstep or caused embarrassment, I always remember it slightly off. A person’s tone is more mocking or condescending, my reaction is worse than it was. There’s a lot of shame when it comes to anxiety and your mind immediately assumes you’re viewed to be–and are–on a lower pedestal than everyone else. Yuuri, clearly, has severe anxiety, so I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to think that, since this is from his perspective, maybe reality is a bit different than what he is able to give us. 

Anyway, my thoughts had no basis, so I’ve kept them to myself, but then Kubo came out and said this:

and then the fanbase lit up in flames because Victor know Yuuri was a fan before the banquet. But this also implies one thing I got super excited about: Victor has seen him skate, before the commemorative photo scene. 

meaning that everyone’s preconception that Victor mistook Yuuri for a fan has been completely blown out of the water. 

So, why would Victor ask him about a photo then? 

I think it’s important to keep in mind that Victor likes to make people feel good about their abilities. He likes teaching others, and he likes motivating them too. He gets pleasure out of seeing people rise to their potential. 

Although he’s flighty and kind of an airhead, and tends to ignore what he doesn’t find interesting, I don’t think Victor would ignore the scorings or the competitors landing below 3rd place. Victor clearly knew that Yuuri fell to last place, hard. This is just speculation, but maybe Yuri mentioned to Victor the incident with Yuuri crying in the bathroom. Or, perhaps Victor had already seen the press about Yuuri: he’s notorious for losing his nerve during competitions and failing to meet his potential. When Yuuri goes down, he tends to crash and burn. 

(also honda’s words imply yuuri usually performs very well)

Victor likes making people happy and better versions of themselves. Now he’s faced with the competitor who fell to last place, staring at him a few feet away. A competitor who is known for his anxiety and tendency to shy away from others. A competitor who just so happens to be a fan. So, what is Victor to do to help Yuuri feel better, or even open up a bit?

Initiate conversation. Try to reel him in to interacting with an open, non-threatening question and a tried-and-true welcoming smile. 

“Commemorative Photo?”

Victor didn’t mistake Yuuri for a non-competing fan, he knew who Yuuri was and was just trying his best to make Yuuri feel better. Victor, as we’ve seen throughout the series, resorts to giving comfort through action rather than words first and foremost. Unfortunately for him, this is not what Yuuri needs. 

It backfired. But I think Victor had good intentions. They were strangers so it’s not like Victor could just walk up and start a motivating speech. He tried to invite Yuuri to talk to him, someone Yuuri looked up to, and maybe they could talk and Victor could brighten his day? 

Victor wasn’t very tactile, and Yuuri didn’t stand his ground and identify himself, so they got nowhere with that. 

I’m so glad Kubo said this. This face looks like a combination of surprise and disappointment, perhaps not only in Yuuri rejecting him but also in himself for not being able to help.

and this face 

looks more concerned and surprised that Yuuri showed rather than like “oh shit, he’s a competitor.”

Poor Yuuri. Poor Victor. They really need to communicate better. 

Being Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Daughter...
  • Lin would cry the day you were born but he would also brag a lot.
  • He’d shower you with gifts but he was also careful not to overdo it
  • Chances are, (depending on your age and whatever year you’d picture this for) you’d be friends with a lot of the Hamilton cast/ and or their kids
  • There’s no doubt about it you’d be a freestyling genius much like him and musically talented.
  • And Lin would be so proud of this
  • Lin’s heart would melt every time you called him ‘dad’
  • He is probably one of the most caring, sweetest, and involved father out there.
  • And if your mother wasn’t in the picture, Lin would be sure to work to fill in her shoes.
  • He would attend all your school events and extra curriculars too.
  • On mother’s day he would plan a brunch inviting his sister and mother over making sure you knew you weren’t alone when it came to the amount of females in your life.
  • Whenever he goes to Richard Rodgers Theatre or goes to work for whatever project he’s working on he is constantly pulling his phone out to show his fellow coworkers pictures of you
  • He can’t help it
  • But one thing is for sure, Lin would make sure you knew how strong of a woman you were. Being a strong activist for equal rights Lin knew how easy it was for girls in today’s society to feel weak and defeated by the powerful and he never wanted you to experience that. So he would make post-it notes and stick them in your lunchbox, on your mirror, and anywhere he could find with sayings such as…
  • “I am woman hear me roar!”
    “Though she be but little, she is fierce!”
    “A strong woman looks fear in the eye and gives it but a wink.”
    “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.”
  • And because your father is one of the most encouraging and inspiring figures in the world, not only in tweets but reality as well, he excels at giving the best, most needed pep talks when you’re down in the dumps.
  • Lin had you speaking Spanish as soon as you said your first word
  • Lin would practically document your entire life. He liked taping you and taking pictures while you were doing casual activities such as coloring, singing, dancing, playing with your dolls, running around the house, etc.
  • Tobillo basically being your best friend
  • That dog follows you wherever you go
  • Lin has thousands of videos from when you were learning to walk, practically waddling around and Tobillo was right on your heel the entire time following you.
  • The whole Hamilton cast would be obsessed with you
  • Especially Phillipa
  • That girl loved you as if you were her own
  • And if you were old enough, you would join the Schuyler Sisters in their inbetween shows closet talk.
  • Sleep overs at Jasmine and Anthony’s while your dad is out of town
  • And they would absolutely LOVE having you over
  • You made them want to have kids that much more and Anthony loved taking you to the movies and Jasmine loved taking you out shopping
  • Speaking of shopping, Renee, Jasmine, and Phillipa are always spoiling you with the newest trends and what nots.
  • The Hamilton cast would be like another family to you
  • Always running around backstage with Groffsauce, who usually was assign babysitting duty.
  • The Schuyler sisters- as well as Leslie teaching you how to harmonize
  • Daveed loved helping you with your freestyling
  • You and him always got in heated battles- in good spirits of course
  • Playing childish games during intermission and between shows with Oak, Daveed, and Anthony.
  • Trying to braid your dad’s hair during his Hamilton days
  • Let’s be real, Lin would dedicate Dear Theodosia to you
  • And during Stay Alive (reprise) and It’s Quiet Uptown he had genuine tears pinching at his eyes as he fathomed the thought of losing you
  • But Lin would always run to you and spin you around every night after shows
  • The two of you would walk hand and hand together home and Lin would sing you to sleep every night
  • He’d love making you breakfast and basking in that domestic life
  • I could see him making some of the best pancakes in the world
  • And one morning when you were little, you convinced him to let you have a sip of his coffee
  • “Daddy, what’s that black stuff in there.”
    “It’s called coffee, bebé.”
    “Can I try some?”
    “Uh, I don’t think so, Y/n. You wouldn’t like it.”
    “Please, papi.”
    “Oh alright.”
  • Like he predicted, you hated it. The liquid burned your throat and young little you cried at the bitterness for at least a minute which broke Lin’s heart.
  • Lin would be the type of parent that would love to show you off to family and friends but when it came to posting pictures of you on social media, he usually made sure your face was covered, just to keep an element of privacy in his life.
  • But he does love tweeting stories about you or cute things that you do
  • Your childhood years would be a little hectic. Lin probably wouldn’t be around as much as he wants with filming, acting, composing and all but he would make an effort of a lifetime to be as involved as possible.
  • By your late teens you had already seen much of the world but that didn’t mean you were bored by any mean. Adventure was in your soul.
  • Lin would spend a lot of time with you during his time working with the film Moana. He liked to come to you to find inspiration.
  • Family trips to Disney World and Land
  • Lin is constantly trying to help you with his homework
  • “You know I was a teacher.”
  • Coming to him when you start learning about the American Revolution
  • “Well I mean you came to right person. I did write an entire musical about this stuff. Just use the album for a reference, it’s mostly accurate.”
  • Walking into your house one day after school infuriated as you set your pop quiz on the Schuyler Sisters in front of him, a large 9/10 circled with red pen.
  • “And I quote, I’m the oldest and the wittiest… My father has no sons… dad you cost me a perfect score! Why did you lie in the lyrics, I thought you said I could trust them!”
    “I’m sorry I forgot they had other siblings!”
  • Similar to your father, you swore like a sailor
  • Which also meant you were constantly getting scolded and death glares from your father who claims “He didn’t raise you to speak like that.” Even though you both know he did.
  • But honestly I could see Lin being into girl drama. Like when he picks you up from school and sees an annoyed look on your face he’d just shake his head and say,
  • “Spill the tea, honey. I’m ready!”
  • And on your bad days after dropping you off at home after school, Lin would drive to the nearest DQ and Chick-Fil-A and movie store returning home with gifts in toll.
  • He was one of the only people in the world you trusted enough to tell everything too
  • Dad jokes, so many dad jokes.
  • “Dad I’m thirsty. Do we have any-“
    “Hi thirsty nice to meet you I’m Lin-Manuel.”
  • Being very close with your grandparents
  • Your grandpa teaching you how to cook
  • Your grandma would spoil you tbh
  • Girl talk with your Aunt Luz
  • Your dad would be really big on making sure you knew and understood the importance of equality and treating others with respect. 
  • Weekly meals at their place where your grandpa is also telling tales
  • “You know pequeño, when your father was your age I couldn’t get him to shut up!”
    “Papi-“
    “He was always doing his rapping, talking fast and never making sense but he had passion just like yourself so don’t you ever give up on yourself carino. If your father did he would not be where he is today- and neither would you.”
    “Thank you abuelo.”
  • And when you finally do make it, doing whatever or being wherever that may be, you’ll have Lin’s as well as the rest of your families support because Lin knows exactly what it feels like to have millions of people doubt you and laugh at you for doing the unexpected so his support will never run out.
  • When Lin finds out you have a passion for writing and composing, he immediately takes you with him for a daddy daughter date to the studio.
  • He pretends to be out of ideas for a song and you play along knowing it would be a lot less painful to take the easy path.
  • “Well there are a few different projects I’ve been working on lately. They aren’t too good… pretty shitty-“
    “Y/n.”
    “Sorry… but uh, you can have a look I suppose.”
  • Becoming a co writer beside your dad on his next project
  • Going on walks and hikes together with Tobillo
  • But for real though Lin would be insanely protective over you
  • Like when it comes to you Lin always needs to know where you are and constantly has eyes on you
  • When you got your first boyfriend/girlfriend Lin would FLIP
  • You’d suddenly become a player in the game ’21 questions’ or more like 101 questions when it came to your dad
  • He demanded meeting your significant other and no matter the gender, he held his strong demeanor and hardly cracked a smile- well until he saw how happy you looked in their presence.
  • But eventually he’d come to term with it. Although he would always see you as his little girl, he knew you had to spread your wings and he was not about to hold you back from doing so.
  • And when you finally land a lead role on an upcoming Broadway show, Lin is ecstatic.
  • Every day he calls you to ask how rehearsals are going partly because he’s interested and excited for you but also because he remembers his restless days and nights where he’d come home so stressed he’d forget to eat for days. He didn’t want to see you go through the hardships he did.
  • Ironically enough the new production is held, opening night, in the same old theater you grew up in, Richard Rodgers. Home sweet home. 
  • And on opening night you can guarantee your father is sitting front row with four bouquets of various flowers surrounded by all your family and friends as well as a handful of the original and new Hamilton cast.
  • And he would cry. A lot.
  • But he would also be that dad that right before the show starts, as the lights are dimming, he stands up and shouts,
  • “Go Y/n!”
  • His proud dad tweets would be never ending that night
  • After the production he was sure to be the first backstage and the first to hug you.
  • “You did it, you did it! I’m so proud of you, mi ángel. Congratulations!”
  • You’d be lying to yourself if you said your dad didn’t have a surprise party planned for after the play because he did.
  • Not to be a downer but there would be days where Lin would cry himself to sleep thinking he hasn’t done enough, or given you the life you deserve. He worked himself far too hard to make sure you had everything you could ever need and knew you were loved, but sometimes he couldn’t help but fear the worst.
  • Although at times he can be overbearing, you wouldn’t want it anyway else.

This was so fun to write oh my lord, hope you enjoyed!

-Daizy xx

Fairy Tail Dragon Cry Spoilers

Hello guys, so today in Japan, Fairy Tail Dragon Cry released. I have seen spoilers a lot today but some I would love to share with you. 


First spoiler, is the starry sky scene. I love it, and I honestly can’t wait to see the movie itself.


Second spoiler, according to a translator on twitter, Natsu says “What do you see? (How do I look?) Lucy…” and Lucy responds with, “Natsu…” and he smiles, “Your definetely natsu” Which makes me scream because I didn’t think that would be her response actually because people were speculating this since we saw the first two trailers and natsu said, “Lucy, What do I look like to you?”


Third Spoiler… I uhh really don’t know what’s going on here but I am pretty sure Lucy was chained up by one of the royal people and Fairy Tail came to the rescue especially Natsu becayse he is the one who broke the chain and now is carrying her it seems.


Forth Spoiler, Lucy in this seems to be crying at first I thought that dude which if I am not mistaken’s name is Zash but I am not completely for sure since I have been mainly looking at the trailers. It seems as if he is threatening her and that’s when it looks like the wall is opened because of who I think is Natsu because he wants to save his bae. (Nalu shipper here duh)


So I translated this page actually! in the first panel natsu is actually screaming: ARGH!!!! Lucy see’s him and says “Natsu?” and as he is going towards whoever, Lucy says “Natsu…Your a bit late!” 


i WAS WAY TO LAZY TO TRANSLATE this page honestly but Natsu is carrying Lucy and I am pretty sure this is the scene was saw from Trailer 3. 


I didn’t translate this one either but yeah, here’s another spoiler.


I don’t know if this is the scene that people have been posting all over instagram where we do see Natsu hold Lucy or if this is just him collapsing in her arms and her confront him. It could honestly be two different scenes or like I said the one I have been seeing ALL OVER instagram that made me scream this morning, lmao.


This is the starry night scene I’m pretty sure. The first attempt of my translations for this, Natsu said “We had a relationship together, and I lost it… Lucy.” and then at the Lucy’s panel had said, “A stella Starry Sky.” and then the one with them looking off said “Love” or “It is cute.” Which I don’t know if this means anything or if I screwed up freaking bad translating but whatever I tried dudes.


The attempt to TRANSLATE this was like me trying to swim, it was drowning me. For natsu’s head and lucy looking up to it, I couldn’t get his translation but for her I got “I will do it. You guard by the guard watch…” and then I also got the translations : “There is nothing more than a crowd, so its hard to emphatize with me… and others…. oh yeah, it must be true.” and for Natsu I got :Come here, here it is/ Rescue Loya (Which is probaly actually Sonya) Actually is the code name.” Which didn’t really make sense to me but I tried. 


MY REACTION AFTER THESE : 

Originally posted by vieilleotaku

Also…

Originally posted by nbcthevoice

COME HERE FASTER!! IT DOESN’T RELEASE IN THE USA TILL JUNE 6TH AND I WANT IT TO COME AS FAST AS ADAM LEVINE HITTING THE I WANT YOU BUTON

Recap time! A few things happened on social medias these past few days with some of the Camren story protagonists, which ends up being this big confusing hilarious mess that I tried to figure out 😂

Disclaimer : I’ve checked all the posts myself, they all happened. And any opinion or theory I share in this post is completely personal.

First stop we have Alexa! One of Lauren’s best friend who liked one of Camila’s pics a couple days ago - it already happened before, which suggest that even though it seems like Camila and Lauren aren’t in good terms, they actually are - or Alexa is not a very loyal friend.

Then enters Lucy! Supposedly Lauren’s ex girlfriend or at the very least Lauren’s ex best friend, who also liked one of Camila’s pictures. Now we all pretty much know that Lucy and Lauren aren’t on the best terms right now - Lucy made it pretty clear by liking a few comments concerning Lauren. So that could be your classic “I’m pissed at you so I’m gonna like your ex girlfriend’s picture” move. Lucy already liked a couple of Camila’s picture in the past couple of months.

Next we have Lauren! Who liked a somehow confusing tweet who could either reference Camila or her “relationship” with Ty. 

Next stop we have Camila! Who liked one of Ty’s ig post. The post in itself is really weird - it’s for his new music video and the first few shots are of a hot girl coming out of a car (not Lauren) and then it’s him shaking hands with other rappers, and his caption of the post is “❤️ 😍 😘” - not sure if those emojis are for the girl or the rappers but it’s weird 😂  Anyhoo, Camila liked, and I get that it can be confusing, I was confused, I was like “what are you doing mija?” but then I thought about it for a sec and it actually makes a lot of sense, but I’ll get back to that in the conclusion of the post.

And next is Ty posting a Tyren pic dun dun dun! Well we’ve been waiting on that one for a while. A real Tyren pic, where you can actually see their faces and in which they actually look like a couple.

I’ll give you my thoughts on that in a sec

Whoops, how did that Laucy pic get in there? Wasn’t me I swear! 

Coming up next is…. Captain Dinah Jane! Who liked and commented on the Tyren pic ! She also commented with seven black hearts, yes black hearts - seriously who comments on a happy couply pic with black hearts? I’m sure some will say that it’s because the pic is in black and white, but I’m not convinced by that.

Also some of you will tell me “Don’t call her Captain! She’s not captain anymore!” well, isn’t she though? 😏

And finally here comes out last act, which I only discovered this morning, Alessandro! Well technically not him directly, but the GUESS photographer who posted, I realize we don’t have a shit name for them, Camilandro? Camissandro? Alemila? pics, and captioning them “love birds” with also a black heart! What’s up with that?

Alright! Now I’m gonna give you my personal opinion, my theory, on what I think of all of this, and why it didn’t make my Camren heart waver for even a second.

Remember before anything else that 5H and Camila are still under the same label and that their p.r are very certainly working together.

As we all know, we are right now in quite a bit of a promotional time, with 5H announcing the release of their new album , Camila releasing Havana and OMG plus her GUESS and L’Oréal campaigns, and also Ty releasing a new music video. It’s the perfect time for their p.r teams to work their magic. 

Now, there’s nothing better than a little romance to attract the people! Making Tyren official at this particular moment assures them extra promotion. Because believe it or not, a lot of people are stupid enough to tell themselves “Oh Lauren is dating Ty! Wonder what is music is like? Maybe he’s gonna talk about Lauren in his new album! I gotta listen to that!” or “Oh Ty is dating Lauren! She’s hot, actually all the girls in 5H are hot! Oh they have an album coming out! Maybe Lauren wrote about Ty in it! I gotta listen to that!” - it’s idiotic but it’s true! And I’m no better tbh, even if Camila’s album was the worst album in the world (would never happen cause she’s a legend) I would still listen the shit out of it just for Camren, because “Maybe Camila wrote about Lauren in it! I gotta listen to that!” (she definitely did 🌚)

It’s a very simple strategy. Some of you will tell me “why haven’t they use it before for Down for example” - well Down wasn’t promoted at all and you don’t waste a p.r relationship on a unpromoted song. Making them official now will also earn them a few headlines, get them in the medias right before the album release. I’m betting that we’re gonna see more and more of Tyren in the next few weeks.

Now, how does Camila come into this? And why would she like a Ty pic?  Well just like always, you needs to shut those Camren shippers up! They pick up on everything don’t they?! Surely they’ll pick up on that! They just need one like, and that’s easily negotiated between p.r teams. The fact that the Tyren pic is in the exact position as the Laucy pic is just bonus for us, I mean sometimes I feel like they’re just giving us material 😂

Also having Dinah Jane, the captain, Camila’s best friend (yes, present time), like and comment on the pic is supposed to be the final nail in the Camren coffin. But we all remember that Dinah has already been an accessory in the p.r game back in Dorito Boy days, and I’m sure this time is no different. It’s also my very personal opinion that those black hearts aren’t a coincidence and that maybe Dinah is trying to slip us a little message, but that belongs in the higher delulu level.

And then we have Camilandro? Camissandro? Alemila? who couldn’t be more obvious if they wanted to. That’s your classic campaign promo p.r move - they’re in a hot photoshoot together, they’re close enough in it to make people fantasize about a possible relationship, which then will make people look closer at each of them, which will start speculations, then maybe the medias will get to it, which then will beneficiate the campaign and Camila’s career and straight image and blah blah blah…

So in conclusion, all of this happening at the same time during a very promotional period makes me strongly believe that most of it is bullshit. You may think that I’m trying to find excuses and what not, and that I’m just completely delulu, but tbh I don’t care. All of this is just too weird and well organized to be simply the work of fate. 

Some Strings Attached

Ugh so there was a post going around that I’ve now long since misplaced but it was like “I just saw you go upstairs with someone else and I know we’re only fuck buddies but I’m gonna go punch them in the face” and I was HERE FOR IT. If somebody remembers the post, link me. In the meantime, have some Sterek getting together fluff.

“Just tell Derek you want to date him,” Scott says, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world.

Stiles bugs his eyes and flails his hands in wordless frustration, because the correct response to this patently ludicrous advice eludes him. He had come for sympathy, not pie-in-the-sky delusions. “Scott. Bro,” he finally gasps. “How could you even suggest that in good faith? No way! Bad plan!” He slashes his arms in a demonstrative X. “The only reason we’re even hooking up is that I made it super clear I was down to fuck, no strings attached! I’m not ruining a good thing by announcing to Derek Hale that I’m 85% in love with him.”

“Why?” Scott genuinely seems confused, the sweet summer child. After falling into a happy triad with Allison and Isaac after their first semester at UCLA, he doesn’t really understand the definition of “unrequited.”

Stiles turns his attention to a hanging thread on his t-shirt, sourly tugging it loose. “He’s out of my league. I mean, with the baseball, and the smarts, and the sarcasm, and those eyes…” he breaks off with a sigh. The last thing he needs to do is remind himself of how gone he is on Derek. “Just, he’s popular. Dictionary definition of too cool for school. And the three people he actually deigns to hang out with here are all just as cool and good looking as he is. Do I need to remind you I’m not? I’m a gawky, nerdy Sophomore. I’m lucky to even be his fuck-buddy.”

Scott makes a face, incredulous. “I dunno, he must like you well enough if he’s still sleeping with you after all this time. What’s it been, six months? And you guys hang out, too, you’re always telling me about how easy it is to chat with him after you bone. So it’s not just sex.”

Stiles grimaces. “Yeah, but it’s not…”


“… a real relationship,” Derek says into the phone, hearing full well the heavy dejection in his voice. So sue him; the admission is more than a little depressing. “He just wants to be fuck buddies.”

“How do you know?” Laura asks reasonably. “Maybe this Stiles person would be interested in dating you, too. No offence, but you’re not great at reading people. I mean, he’s interested in chilling with you even after you hook up, and clearly he enjoys the physical aspect. Did he actually ever say he wasn’t looking for more?”

Derek heaves a sigh, rolling his eyes even though she can’t see over the phone. “Yep. About two minutes after the first time we slept together he said, ‘no strings attached, obviously.’ So, you know, pretty safe bet that it’s no strings attached.”

“Oh,” Laura says. For once she doesn’t have a snappy comeback.

“Oh,” Derek agrees. Dejectedly.

She gives him a sympathetic little hum, and then asks, “and he’ll definitely be at the sorority barbecue?”

“Yeah.” Stiles and his broad shoulders and his long fingers are definitely going to be at the party.

“Maybe you shouldn’t go,” his sister says softly. “If you really like him, and he’s just looking to get laid…”

Derek groans. Not go, and give up a chance to hook up with Stiles? Smart, maybe, but not something he’s capable of doing.

The problem is, he’s liked Stiles forever. Or at least since he first saw him, laughing uproariously and running around with his friends with an actually broom between his legs, playing “Quidditch.” Derek would have been way too embarrassed to do something like that on the front lawn, but Stiles made it seem like the most effortlessly awesome thing a person could get up to.

No, compared to Stiles, Derek is practically a social recluse, an awkward jock with only about three people who he gets along with at all. Stiles definitely doesn’t want to get saddled with a boyfriend like him. He’s lucky they’re even hooking up after all this time.

“Derek, I mean it,” Laura says. “Look out for yourself for once.”

“I know, I know,” Derek grumbles. “But it’s not my fault he’s…”

Keep reading

Reasons to ship Camren…

  • They have matching onesies; Lauren’s one is gray whilst Camila’s is pink.
  • They’re both Cuban.
  • They’re both from Miami, Florida.
  • Both are Latinas.
  • Lauren and Camila got the most solos in The X Factor performances.
  • They are both big fans of One Direction.
  • They both auditioned in Greensboro, North Carolina.
  • They both have a younger sister.
  • They hung out with each other on December 31st, 2012 to January 1st, 2013. They then tweeted a photo of Camila making a funny face and Lauren looking awkward.
  • Spanish was both their first language.
  • They live 15 minutes away from each other.
  • They often switch places with the other girls so they can sit next to each other.
  • They both love to do accents with each other.
  • They often think the same things at the same time.
  • They both have a weakness: Lauren for beanies and Camila for bows.
  • Lauren is the only one who calls Camila Camz.
  • Camila said if Lauren got arrested for something, she would get arrested for being so sweet.
  • They sat right next to each other at a The 1975 concert.
  • They have the same music taste.
  • Lauren said Camila is her “Pink Princess”.
  • Lauren is the “mom”…and Camila is the “father”.
  • Camila thinks Lauren is a “boss of an intelligent opinion”.
  • Camila thinks Lauren “is real”.
  • Camila would switch her mind with Lauren.
  • Lauren would switch her mind with Camila.
  • Camila wanted Lauren to kiss her under the mistletoe.
  • They wear the same “merch” clothes.
  • The way Lauren looks at Camila after she says “Fall, by Ed Sheeran”.
  • Lauren is Camila’s celebrity crush. (Oh … and Camila wants to marry with her celebrity crush ..even if her family doesn’t support the relationship.)
  • Camila would be "Baby Spice” because she is Lauren’s baby.
  • Lauren is the only person who laughs at Camila’s jokes.
  • Camila loves Lern Jerg.
  • Because Lauren helps her when her banana is dead on the floor.
  • Because Lauren helps her when her microphone breaks.
  • Because Lauren ties her shoes.
  • Camila is the sun and Lauren the moon.
  • Because Lauren doesn’t know what else to say but she thinks Camila is pretty fucking Dope!
  • Because Camila has Lauren “written on her”.
  • Because Camila read Lauren’s favorite book.
  • Because Lauren knows that Camila cried reading “Fault in Our Stars”.
  • Because one day Camila and Lauren went to the bathroom together and … that’s the end of the conversation!
  • Because Camila thinks Lauren can sing and is pretty too.
  • Because they have an audience that calls them crazy! (and they call us delusional!)
  • Because both like “so many hot boys”.
  • Because Camila said: “keep the boat floating”.
  • Because Lauren said “It’s Camren, YOOO!.
  • Because Lauren wants someone to love her insecurities…and Camila do!
  • Because Lauren has “the most beautiful emerald eyes in the world”.
  • Because Camila thinks Lauren is “perfect”.
  • Camila tried salmon because Lauren loves sushi.
  • Because Lauren thinks Camila is goofy, not the bad kind goofy, the cute kind goofy.
  • Because Camila loves people from “planet green eyes”.

Extra:

  • I love you. You’re one of my best friends and I feel like I’ve know you forever. You’re one of the smartest people I know and you’re stuning. I’ve learned a lot from you, just know I’ll always be here for you no matter what!” - Camila on Lauren
  • Happy 16th Birthday little one(: thank you for always being you and being one of the raddest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. You’re an incredible person and I’m extremely lucky to have you in my life. Thanks for being there to vent with and even though we haven’t known each other for even a year yet, I feel like you’re the sister God forgot to give me. I love you Camzi(: have a good one babe! 💙😘🎉🎈🎁💙#camren” - Lauren on Camila


  • Happy 17th Birthday to this little nugget right here. I thought this picture was cute so I decided it would suffice. Just wanted to let you know that you’re an amazing beautiful person and I’m glad that you’ve been alive for 17 years and that 2 of them have been spent with the girls and I because idk you’re pretty rad and an amazing friend and fun to have around. I hope you have an amazing day and feel as special today as you deserve to feel everyday. Thanks for always being there for me when I need you and for being your wonderful self(: I LOVE YOU CAMZ” - Lauren on Camila


  • AWHHHHH YAAAY I LOVE YOU UR CUTE 🐏🐟💗🎷” - Camila on Lauren


  • The word I’d use to describe Camila is hmm I’m gonna say cutesy, like also goofy. It’s like both, like the good kind of goofy not the weird kind. Like the cutesy kinda goofy” - Lauren on Camila


  • LERN JERGI. ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY. YOU ARE 18. THIS IS THE MOMENT YOUVE BEEN WAITING FOR. IF YOU STUCK YOUR TONGUE OUT IN THE AIR RIGHT NOW YOU COULD PROBABLY TASTE THE SWEET AND PUNGENT FREEDOM OF DRAGONFLY TATTOOS, NOSE PIERCINGS, AND VOTING RIGHTS. we’ve been through thick and thin in our friendship, and through those thick and thins I’ve gotten blessed enough to experience you as a person. ive gotten to experience your bomb music taste which I am SO HAPPY YOU INTRODUCED ME TO because we have the best time at concerts bonding over bands and there are so many more to come PRAISE JESUS. i can come to you about anything and expect the pure, honest, rare truth and I’ll always be there tell you it’ll be okay when you cry on my shoulder when you feel lonely or hurt. I’ve gotten to see firsthand your incredible sense of justice, when you see that something unfair or wrong has happened, you’ll raise your voice and fight for that person with a bravery that I, and many other people (although they might not admit it) wish they had. i love how passionately you fight for what you think is right and everyone should remind you today and everyday that it’s a strength and not a weakness. i can’t tell you what a comfort it is to know someone like you will stick up for me and have my back, i hope you know i will too. i love you always” - Camila on Lauren


  • Super cute candids taken by a random stranger always make good birthday post pics. HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY CAMILA CABELLO. YOU’RE LEGAL NOW YAYYY!!!!!! You are such a beautiful person inside and out and I’m so thankful that I get to call you my friend. Thanks for all the laughs, for being my shoulder to cry on whenever I’ve needed a friend, for giving amazing sound advice (even though you’re just now considered an adult by the government you’ve been there mentally for a while which I greatly appreciate) I wish you many more years of amazingness and I hope you had the best day with your family. You deserve all the love and happiness the world has to offer and I wish it all upon you for many many years to come. I LOVE YOU CAMZZZZ❤️❤️❤️” - Lauren on Camila


  • HAPPY 19TH LAUREN!! i remember the day you auditioned for X factor seeing a beautiful green eyed girl belt out an Alicia keys song so perfectly i feared for my life. i remember telling my mom "that girl can sing!! and she’s gorgeous too!!” and then you walked out and i told you i loved your shirt remember? HAHAHA. it’s funny how before we even knew how important we were going to be to each other, something in us knew and something in us will always know. i love how fiercely you defend your opinion, i love your strength, your bold independence, and your desire to live life fully. i love that we crack up at each other’s jokes even when nobody else gets them- and i love those moments where we get caught up in talking about a band or a book and we get lost in the conversation like two normal girls in high school that aren’t about to go do something ridiculous like go to an awards show. i will always be there for you when you need someone to vent to, when you want to talk about the overwhelming underwhelmingness of boys that break our hearts or the overwhelming overwhelmingness of when a kiss leaves your head reeling, when i back you up and you need someone to stick up for you, or when you just need someone to understand- we’ve done that for each other in the last 3 years and we will do that for each other forevermore. i love you so much !!!! happy 19th lern jergi!!!!! camila“ - Camila on Lauren
my what a guy, gaston!

okay so i know i already did one of these for beauty and the beast (for fuck’s sake shana write about some new fairytales why are you like this) but i listened to sam tsui’s cover of a tale as old as time and OH BOY, OH MY HONEY OH MY DARLING

okay, so in the very early stages of the original beauty and the beast, gaston was an aristocrat. that eventually got scrapped, but oh what if it didn’t

so say gaston is the son of someone very high up in the royalty chain, someone who’s parents are important enough that he spends an awful lot of time at the castle? and our prince adam isn’t really down with this whole ~being a prince~ thing, he’s a brat, like so many other kids are brats (but these kids don’t get turned into beasts by random witches, like i’m sorry but i’ll never not think that beast didn’t get the short end of the stick there) and so he spends the least about of time possible parading about with a crown on his head. he likes going outside, like riding his horses and playing in the woods, and all sorts of other things that make his parents shake their heads and despair at the inability to have another child, because their son is a small disaster.

and here comes gaston, who’s older and more long suffering. gaston in naturally dramatic, okay, he likes being flashy and fun and loud, all the things the son of a noble shouldn’t be. so by the point he meets adam he’s listened to his parents, folded himself up nice and tight into this quiet boy who just doesn’t want any trouble. adam loves trouble. if he can’t find it, he invents it.

so he grabs onto gaston like glue, and gaston is irritated, but he’s the prince, he can’t say anything or his parents will kill him. so he lets adam keep dragging him out horseback riding and hunting and rock climbing and all sorts of things little noble boys aren’t supposed to do. they spare, and no matter that gaston is bigger and older he never wins, adam always ends up pinning him to the ground with his arm to his throat and he’d more irritated about it if the prince didn’t look so delighted every time he won. adam loves all the animals that he’s not interested in eating, and gaston tries to point out that it’s a little weird how thrilled adam is to take down a deer when two minute later he’s trying to entice a wolf to come closer so he can pet it, and also holy shit adam that’s a wolf what’s wrong with you

adam loves his staff, the people who do their best to reign in this little terror but don’t try that hard, because the thing about bratty kids is that they’re rarely brats all the time, as an adult you swing between wanting to strangle them and finding them so adorable and charming your chest hurts. so mrs. potts indulges him, likes the way he’s only ever really patient while he’s playing with her son chip when he’s snuck into the kitchen to beg her for some extra cookies. lumiere and cogsworth are his tutors and spend more time arguing with each other than teaching him, and he’s delighted by that.

and so adam is this loud, exuberant little prince who slowly but surely picks at gaston’s barrier until gaston almost feels like himself again, and adam doesn’t do what his parents did. adam doesn’t make fun of him for how much he cares about his hair, about how he hates dirt under his fingernails. as long as gaston keeps following him into dangerous situations, adam doesn’t care about much of anything, and gaston loves him for it.

and gaston’s on the cusp of teenagerhood when he realizes he loves adam, the prince, this is awful and he immediately has a panic attack over it, he’s to be lord and adam is to be king, it will never work, oh, and adam probably doesn’t like boys, and – oh my god, all those schoolyard taunts about him being gay we’re right this is a nightmare.

he’d freak out about this properly and probably go charging to the castle to confess his love in true embarrassing 12 year old fashion – except his parents set him down, pale, and say, “they’re gone, they’re all gone, the king and queen were found dead and the prince is gone and now a monster lives in the castle.” and of course gaston takes this to the most logical conclusion – a beast broke into the castle, killed the love of his young life, and now he’s claimed the castle for his own.

this is gaston’s defining moment okay, this is the point where he snaps and never goes back. he rebels against his parents, refuses to fit himself back into the mold of the perfect son, tries to live his life like adam would have wanted him to. that means being exactly who he is and damn the consequences. he focuses on his hair and his clothes and his looks, he pursues hunting because it reminds him of adam, because so much of their friendship took place in the woods, covered in mud and laughing. he pursues hunting because, one day, when he’s the very best he’s going to go the castle and kill the beast that killed adam. and his parents are furious about all of this and they disown him in favor of his young siblings and he just. doesn’t give a shit.

so he moves to the town, and everyone loves him, of course they love him. he’s loud and arrogant, but – he’s not cruel. he’s beautiful and brings in more pelts and meat than any other hunter and gaston doesn’t miss the days of being a young lordling in the slightest. but girls keep throwing themselves at him and he doesn’t know how to keep refusing either outing himself or hurting their feelings, so he goes to belle. belle, who is every inch as pretty he is. belle, who is smart and quiet and kind in a reserved sort of way. if there’s anyone who won’t judge him, it’s her.

so he goes to her, and tells her the truth – that he only likes men, that he’s not interested in advertising the fact, and asks her to pretend to be his lady. and belle, kind sweet belle, agrees. she does it out of sense of duty to help those in need, because nothing she knows of gaston says she will enjoy this. but she’s proven wrong, because gaston was raised to be a lord of course he’s educated, just because he doesn’t really care about any of that stuff doesn’t mean he doesn’t know it. and belle can speak with him like she can no other, because gaston has more formal education than anyone else in this village. and to their surprise, gaston and belle become friends, become the closest of friends, and gaston hasn’t known this closeness since adam, although it’s different because he loves belle but he’s not in love with belle.

and one day belle and her father are out traveling and sudden snowstorm forces them into the castle. belle knows there’s some sort of monster that supposedly lives there, but it’s either the castle for refuge or dying of cold outside, so into the castle they go. and instead of a hideous monster there’s adam, the beast. he’s rude and gruff and calls them twelve kinds of idiots for getting caught in a snowstorm in the first place. he offers them a room before sulking back into his study, watching the last petal threaten to the fall from the rose.

the castle is so excited to have guests, to have a young girl that may be their saving grace, and beast doesn’t know how to tell them that he likes girls well enough, but the only person he’s ever loved is a prickly, stuffy little boy who used to wring his hands together whenever they went looking for wolves. the storm doesn’t abate, and belle and her father stay. beast likes belle, likes how much she loves his library and the courteous way she speaks to all his staff even tho they’re all furniture, and he wishes he could love her, she is a woman that deserves to be loved. but he can’t.

back in the village, gaston has had it. the beast took adam from him, and he wont allow that thing to take belle. he rallies the villagers and goes marching to the castle, determined to save belle and her father, determined to kill the thing that killed adam.

so they storm the castle and he and the beast fight. belle and her father rush forward to stop the rest of the angry village men, and belle is screaming at gaston to stop, that things aren’t as they seem. but he’s mad with bloodlust, with revenge, and he’s about to take the beast’s head off with his axe when the beast lunges and pushes him to the ground, pinning him with an arm to his throat. and the muscle memory is so sudden and visceral that gaston freezes and stares at the snarling beast and whispers, “adam?”

and the beast blinks, and pulls back a little, and goes …… “gaston!?”

literally everyone is so confused, but they only get more confused when gaston throws himself at the beast and there’s a rush of magic as the last petal falls and the spell is broken. gaston sees beast for who he really is, loves him wholly and completely in the way only children can, and the curse is broken.

so gaston goes from having the beast in his arms to having a man, and he kisses him, outing himself in front of the whole village and not caring in the slightest. “i’ve missed you,” adam says, reaching out a hand to cup gaston’s cheek.

his staff are people again, and the cloud of darkness that had fallen over the castle is lifted. the old and irritable third cousin twice removed who’d been running the country is more than happy to hand it back over to adam, so happy in fact that he doesn’t question anything about this incredibly weird situation.

gaston and adam were children with a children’s love, but as adam gets his castle and kingdom up and running again, gaston is there. and their love deepens, and strengthens, and becomes something much more real and true than it ever was before. and gaston knows he can’t keep this, that adam will need to take a queen and gaston won’t be able to be with him after that.

except no one told adam that, because he goes to belle who just, never left the castle because she likes it and it likes her and her two favorite people are here. and also they’ll pry her from that library over her dead body. “hey,” adam says, “so, i’m kind of the king now.”

“i noticed,” belle answers, and doesn’t look up from her book.

adam considers closing it, but also considers that he likes his hands attached to his wrists. “want to get married? we’ll need to produce an heir or two, but beyond that you’ll get all the books you want and a whole country to boss around.” one of the things adam had quickly learned was that belle loved bossing people around.

belle doesn’t look up from her book. he hadn’t honestly expected her too. “okay. I’m dating plumette. im going to keep doing that.”

“nice,” he says, because plumette is a lot prettier now that she isn’t a feather duster.

so adam find gaston and tells him that he’s marrying belle, and gaston’s whole heart breaks but it makes sense, adam and belle make sense together, and he wishes he could make himself hate either of them but he can’t because he loves them both. but then adam is talking about how belle will have the rooms next to theirs, and gaston should probably stop paying rent for his house in the village, he lives in a literal palace, come on now.

and gaston figures out that adam is planning to stay with him, that belle is his wife and queen in name only and and gaston will continue to be the one in his heart and in his bed. adam is talking about how they all really need to sit down and do something about the redistribution of tax revenue, and they should probably do it before the wedding because otherwise their subjects will only show up to throw fruit at them. gaston cuts him off by pressing his king and love of his life against the wall and kissing him breathless.

cogsworth and lumiere walk by and pause mid-argument to wolf whistle at them before continuing on their way. gaston and adam end up having to hold each other up as they laugh so hard they can’t breath.

and everyone lives happily ever after.


read more of my retold fairytales here

narwhalsarefalling  asked:

what if aliens just dont understand the concept of taking non professional photos like selfies and sharing them on the internet? like "John-human, you see me all the time. I do not wish to take another 'selfie' with you."

John-human was not of the sub category photographer, though they didn’t seem to be aware of that themself. No matter where they went, they brought their little ‘smartphone’ with them, seemingly for the sole purpose of photography. It was beyond irrational, especially considering that John-human was well aware that they were of the sub category physicist.

“John-human, you see me all the time. I do not wish to take another ‘selfie’ with you.” Cg’jlas said when the human suggested another photograph being taken of the two. “I have important work to do, and clearly you have a plethora of photographs of us together. What could you possibly need another one for?” It was getting to the point of being irksome, if xe were to be honest. None of the other humans seemed to consider the behaviour odd though, so xe would have to tread carefully in case xe was approaching cultural territory.

“It’s for my blog. I’ve got people asking to see another picture of us together, and I thought this’d be a good place to take one. It looks cool in here.” John-human said as if it was the most obvious thing in the galaxy. To them it probably was.

“John-human, I am unfamiliar with some of these terms.” Xe said, contracting xir twarikial tentacle in an obvious show of confusion. “What is this ‘blog’, and why have other humans requested to see your photographs? Is it not most common to enjoy photographs of humans who are well known in general, or known to the human watching?”

“Oh, well, yeah? I guess, but we also like looking at pretty people or cool people, or just pretty pictures, and it’s really you all the fuss is about. They like seeing us together.” They said, elevating their shoulders briefly. “A blog is like a content sharing site on the internet – you remember when I told you about the internet, right?”

“Yes, it was quite… interesting. So you are not confused about which sub category in which you belong?” Xe asked, hoping xe didn’t come across as rude.

“You mean my job? No, I’m a physicist, why’d I be confused about that?” They asked, doing what Cg’jlas had learned was referred to as a ‘frown’.

“Because you seemed to be under the impression that you are of the sub category photographer. I am relieved that there is no confusion, John-human.” Xe said sincerely, making sure to have xir expression and posture show it.

“What? No, they’re just selfies. Everyone takes them, it’s a thing.” They said before proceeding to call one of their fellow humans over for one of these ‘selfies’. They then moved on to show Cg’jlas how they ‘posted’ the photograph, and some they had already posted. It made very little sense, but the fellow human seemed to be treat it as something normal, walking back to their work station after agreeing that John-human could post their photograph. They had asked to be ‘tagged’ in it, which xe had absolutely no idea what meant, but xe didn’t particularly want to find out either. It would just have to be another part of humans xe didn’t quite understand. It didn’t seem like an important part after all, if a bit irksome at times when xe was trying to work or focus.

Polydads

Also on ao3

Based on a post that @catsforartists made!

—–

When Amanda woke up, she decided to crawl out of bed to get a bowl of cereal. And eat it on the couch, of course.

“Ain’t nothing beat couch cereal.” She declared to the empty room and dug into her delicious and dangerously sugary cereal.

Almost immediately after taking a bite out of her cereal, she heard footsteps coming from her dad’s room, but, when she glanced up, she saw Damien walking by her.

“Good morning, Amanda dear.” Damien greeted.

“Mornin.” Amanda responded. She KNEW it. Her dad and Damien had been getting pretty close, so it wasn’t a completely wild assumption that they would start dating. And, of course, the footsteps she heard must be…

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Natsu goes absolutely crazy anytime Lucy is in danger. He didn’t want to live and was going to throw his life away fighting zeref because he thought she was dead. It’s canon. 


Mashima drew Natsu getting a boner over Lucy (and only her). Omake or not, whether you like fanservice or not, I don’t give a sh*t.

At the end of the day if Mishima didn’t think it was within Natsu’s character to see Lucy as ‘his’  then he wouldn’t draw it. It’s canon.

Natsu chickened out of confessing but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. Do people have memory loss of the last 545 chapters of the manga and the character building and moments between the two? 

Expecting to have a shojo moment in a shonen manga is an unrealistic expectation. Compared to other shonen manga’s Mashima has spoiled us rotten for ship moments. Nalu, in particular, got over 40 panels centred around them in the last chapter, so we did pretty well. 

Plus, waxing lyrical about his love for Lucy is OOC for Natsu. In that kind of moment and the vibe of the scene, it wouldn’t happen. 

I am anticipating a short sequel or omake’s that clarify and expand on the ending - Mashima did leave it suspiciously open.

I’m going to do a detailed post later but these are my initial thoughts. 

Oh and before any one messages me saying ‘it depends on how you look at it’ you can save yourself the effort. Anyone can look at something negatively and deny something until their last breath, I’m well aware of this. Hell, if other fandoms have taught me anything, it’s how well people can stick their heads in the sand. 

Tips for the Secret Witch

For all the witches who need to keep their Craft under wraps. Whether it is because of a lack of space, sharing your space with religious roommates (or simply people who don’t “get” witchcraft), or if you just would like your privacy, this list can help you out.

Originally posted by shayspieterse

Altars

- Keep all your ritual tools in a plain box (like a shoe box) that can be easily tucked under your bed or in your closet and away from prying eyes.

- You can draw out an altar in a sketchbook. You can also add pictures printed from online or from magazines.

- Using glass jar candles can help make any magical space look mundane, and they come in a large variety of scents too (and people will always know what to get you when holidays roll around!).

- If you want to make an altar for a deity, but can’t make it too obvious, put a jar candle next to a trinket or picture associated with that deity. For example, a rose candle next to a sea shell for Aphrodite.

Magick

- Use colors matching your intent. This can mean you wear a red shirt, or carry a blue pen, or carry a green handbag. 

- Enchant your jewelry. You can make a bracelet for protection, earrings for love, a necklace for luck, etc.

- Enchant your makeup, lotion or hair products. You can also use your face cleanser as a magical cleanser as well.

- Sigils. Sigils are simple symbols with intent put into them. They can be easily mistaken for simple doodles or intricate designs.

Crystals, Herbs and Incense

- If you are planning on having herbs in your room/space, you may wish to keep them in mason jars rather than plastic baggies. Many ignorant people assume that any herb in a baggy is marijuana. I’ve had someone mistake chamomile for marijuana before…

- Drinking tea is an innocent way to incorporate herbs into any practice. Teas come in all sorts of blends and flavors (they also usually come in fancy tins that you can save!). If you have a well known fondness for tea, if you start to buy herbs to mix your own blends, most wouldn’t blink an eye.

- Gardening or house plants. This is an easy way to incorporate herbs and plants without drawing attention.

- Crystals are very pretty. Crystal and rock collecting is also a very common hobby. 

- If you don’t have access to incense, use jar candles, wax melts (with the warmers) or any type of open-and-leave-it air fresheners.

Witchy Tools 

- To make an easy pendulum, loop a piece of cord or string through a ring. The weight of the ring will act just like a pendulum. You can also use an old necklace or bracelet depending on the length of the chain.

- Playing cards instead of Tarot cards. If you have trouble remembering the cards, doodle little symbols on each card that help you remember. You can also use trading game cards (like Pokemon or Yu-Gi-Oh!) if the pictures help you more.

Grimoires and Witchy Books

- Depending on your living situation, a plain notebook may not deter nosey people from snooping. If you need an alternative, pick up an old book from a thrift shop to write notes in. You can add notes in the margins, write over the print with markers, or glue in your own pages. This way your grimoire can sit on your bookshelf and look completely innocent.

- Note taking apps. I recommend Tumblr for a secret witch, mainly because you can have a witchy side blog to hold all your notes and no one will know. However, there are also a lot of note-taking apps (like OneNote) that let you create various “notebooks” and sections.

- Planner notebooks or binders. Most planners have some sort of personal inserts that can be made that you can write witchy notes. It’s also a super easy way to keep track of moon cycles and sabbats. This also allows you to get super creative.

anonymous asked:

I am also a sucker for your top 10 worldbuilding posts so here's another one: top 10 times the media got some TMI on Victor and Yuuri's relationship (and does it include Victor drunkenly revealing they switch to tabloids and Chris' speech at the wedding about where they've done the nasty?)

The wedding was strictly family and friends only so Chris’ speech never got made public (Yuuri would have died if it did!) but there have been several incidents where the media learned a lot more about Viktor and Yuuri than they ever expected.

Top 10 Times The Media Got Some TMI On Victor and Yuuri’s Relationship:

10) Once - when Yuuri was competing in the Four Continents and Viktor was on the side-lines to cheer him on - during the warm up Yuuri was practicing his quad flip over and over to make sure he got it right while Viktor was doing an interview at the side of the rink and the reporter sort of offhandedly mentioned ‘oh, Katsuki has been doing jumps for a while now and he doesn’t even look tired, I guess it must be true that he has really good stamina’ and Viktor just went really dreamy eyed and said ‘yes’ while completely ignoring the interviewer and gazing at Yuuri. And the reporter and the camera man just ended up looking at each other like ‘should we finish the interview or just let him keep daydreaming about his sex life?’

9) During the season after the end of chapter 14 Viktor’s exhibition skate was the Stay Close To Me duet and afterwards one of the reporters asked Yuuri ‘were you ever concerned about doing the lifts during the routine? Were you sure Nikiforov was going to be able to hold your weight or were you worried he might drop you?’. And Yuuri was just like ‘No, I had faith in him and we already knew he could lift me up pretty easily anyway’ which he probably would have gotten away with if he hadn’t proceeded to go bright red afterwards when he realised what he’d said and everyone who watched it was like ‘we kind of really want to know but at the same time we probably really don’t.’

8) After Viktor finally retired he was doing a joint interview with Yuuri and one of the reporters asked him if he was concerned about maintaining his physical condition now that he wasn’t competing anymore because lots of athletes have a hard time adjusting once they stop such vigorous training regimes. And Viktor was just like, ‘I’m sure it won’t be a problem, I’ll still be getting some pretty intense regular exercise even if I’m not training anymore’ and winked at Yuuri and Yuuri started blushing really badly while all the reporters went into minor meltdowns

7) Once they ended up being caught by reporters a few days after Viktor’s birthday when they were out taking the dogs for a walk and it was mostly fine but one of the reporters asked Yuuri what he had given Viktor as a birthday present and they both went bright red and Yuuri sort of mumbled a hurried and fake sounding answer that probably wasn’t even in English and practically sprinted off. No-one ever found out exactly what Viktor’s ‘present’ was but there was a lot of speculation and the general consensus became that Yuuri Katsuki was probably a lot kinkier than anyone ever expected and Viktor Nikiforov was a very lucky guy.  

6) This one came in a series of tweets from a fan who was in an upmarket hotel bar which basically consisted of, ‘oh my god Viktor Nikiforov is in the same bar as I am what should I do?’ ‘He’s sitting alone do you think I should go and talk to him? Would it be weird to ask for his autograph?’ ‘I wonder why Katsuki isn’t with him, it’s the off season I thought they’d be together’ ‘Oh my god I just noticed he isn’t wearing his ring what does this mean?’ ‘He just started to talk to a guy who sat down next to him and he’s being really flirty oh my god.’ ‘Is Viktor Nikiforov having an affair????’ ‘Help, red alert I’ve just seen Viktor Nikiforov in a bar chatting up some random guy without his ring on what do I do?’ ‘Oh wait a minute the guy he was talking to just turned around and it turns out it was actually Katsuki after all. Panic over.’ ‘Wait a minute Katsuki isn’t wearing his ring either, they can’t have both lost them at the same time can they?’ ‘They’re acting really weirdly though and they’re dressed differently too I’m confused but I don’t want to interrupt’ *several minutes pause* ‘Well something I definitely didn’t expect to happen tonight was finding out that Katsuki and Nikiforov are apparently into role play but you learn something new every day.’

5) After being apart for a long time during the skating season they finally reunited at an airport and it was all very dramatic and Viktor ended up kissing Yuuri really passionately for a really long time. And when they broke away Yuuri was like ‘that reminded me of our first kiss, after the competition in Saitama.’ And Viktor was like ‘I did a lot more than just kiss you then solnyshko’ being all sly and flirty and then they both sort of froze as they realised that A) they were in a very public airport which is not a good place to be heavily flirting even if you have been apart for several months and B ) Several people were not so discreetly filming them. And that was how the world learned exactly when and where Viktor and Yuuri got it on for the first time.

4) During the four continents after they first got together Viktor ended up doing the thing in he did in the anime where he tied Yuuri’s laces and kissed his skates while being there to support him. And at that point their public relationship was still only a few months old so while the reaction was mainly positive there were still some assholes who were salty about the whole thing including one trashy tabloid reporter who cornered Yuuri after his skate who was obviously a die-hard Viktor fan and didn’t like him or their relationship at all. And while Yuuri is usually quiet and shy and likes to keep as much about their relationship private as he can because he doesn’t want the world butting in, he also is absolutely savage when he wants to be and after going through so much to finally get together with Viktor he is not willing to take any shit from anyone. So the reporter was being really bitchy and asking questions like ‘don’t you think it’s a bit degrading to make Viktor Nikiforov get down on his knees for you?’ and Yuuri just really calmly said ‘not really, he likes it too much’, smiled and walked away. The video clip of it happening has several million views.

3) At one point Viktor and Yuuri were on the beach at Hasetsu and Viktor took a picture of Yuuri in his boxers (they had forgotten their swimming stuff but got too hot and went to cool off in the sea) and nothing else while laughing on the beach. And while 99.9% of the comments were all along the lines of ‘goddamn’, ‘please step on me’ and ‘Yuuri Katsuki with his shirt off is a gift to humanity’ there were a couple off assholes who were commenting on the stretch marks on Yuuri’s thighs. Because he was a naturally chubby kid with a lot of puppy fat and went from that to a lean athletic teenager in a very short space of time so he has them although they’re not that noticeable. And Viktor doesn’t usually care when people are rude to him online because there are always a few shitty people out there but it really pisses him off when someone insults Yuuri. So when someone tweeted him like ‘you’re really hot, why do you bother with someone with ugly stretch marks like Katsuki?’ he responds with ‘I love every part of my boyfriend including his marks. I especially like to kiss them every night when his thighs are wrapped round my head.’ which pretty much shut all the haters up there and then. Yuuri hit him with a pillow for it afterwards but he was secretly kind of pleased.

2) The day after one of the major competitions Yuuri was giving an interview and the interviewer asked ‘now that the competition is over has the tiredness set in yet and are you ready to go home or are you still riding high on the adrenaline from last night?’ and Chris, who happened to be walking past at that moment, was just like ‘well he was certainly riding something last night but it wasn’t the adrenaline.’ Yuuri’s expression after he said it became a popular reaction picture for when someone looks like they physically want to die of embarrassment.

1) The incident I mentioned in a previous ask where a tipsy Viktor ends up getting interviewed by a tabloid reporter when his tongue is looser than usual so when she asks ‘are you the top or the bottom in your relationship’ aka the question everyone else wanted to ask but was way too polite and respectful to, he just winked and said ‘why pick just one.’ And that was how the world found out that Viktor and Yuuri switch.