I admired myself in the mirror. I looked, I thought, perfect. I’d put enough work into it, I should look perfect at this point.
Smile, faintly lopsided but not too lopsided. Teeth, off-white and slightly crooked. Pupils, round and black but not too round or too black. Skin, a delicate texture of almost-identical shades. Hair, buzzed short for ease of maintenance, also a texture and not just a colour. Five fingers of appropriately varied lengths on each arm, five toes the same on each foot. Two feet, two legs, two arms, two hands. I looked perfect.
Then, I walked outside and realized I had made a horrible mistake. I had forgotten something essential. While I looked perfect, my shadow branched four legs from two feet, and had long, curving horns that widened the shadows head. I considered, for a moment, turning around. Skipping this year. Continuing to work until it was truly perfect. But no, by that point the faculty would be on to me, and wouldn’t let me back. So, self-conscious about the shadow behind me, I went to class.
At first, I thought no one had noticed, until we had a break and a girl came over.
“Why are you here?” She seemed angry, leaning in very close so her iron pendant almost touched me.
“To learn.” I responded, voice flat and one-dimensional.
“To learn what?” She demanded, still very close.
“Biology, currently.” The professor called her back to her seat, and she left with a huff.
I went through weeks like that, my lack of humanity the worst kept secret on campus. Sometimes, when I sat very quietly, seemed fully absorbed in my classes, they would forget about my shadow. I learned ways to protect myself from me, and others like me. Iron-spined books, and salt packets. I found a ramen packet, in fact, empty of its contents. I filled it with sand and kept it in my pocket, along with the tin pendant I found. I look more like a student now, and sometimes they forget to look.
The girl from the first day, Stone, had taken to hovering near me. She followed the rules religiously, and warded off any more unwary classmates. She’d talk to me then, about silly classmates, or books she was reading.
Then came the day Stone was taken. She had been walking home, and followed the wrong path in the dark, and I cannot rightfully explain my fury. She was not mine, I did not hold her name, but she was my closest friend, if I could be said to have such things, and how was I to properly study when my best example was taken?
I shed my glamours that night, and returned to the world I was born in. As I left, I caught sight of myself in the mirror. My head looked heavy with my horns revealed, and my eyes were distant and alien. There was no warmth to my skin, and the sound of my hooves on the floor was uncomfortably loud. There were sores around my mouth from the times I had eaten salt in the cafeteria, burns on all fourteen of my fingers from lifting iron. I shook myself and walked into the night to find Stone.
I found her. I felt guilty, to be seen honestly at last. I expected shock, or horror. I did not expect her gaze to linger around my mouth, around my fingertips, an odd expression of concern.
They let me take her without bargains. I made them uncomfortable, too, with my studies. I brought her back, hand in hand, and left her at her dorm.
“Will I see you tomorrow?” She asked, voice small in the swallowing darkness.
“We have class.”
Stone brought cupcakes to class the next day, to celebrate her return to the world of humanity. She proclaimed loudly that they were salted caramel, so I remained in my desk, an odd sinking feeling in my gut.
I could hear her approach, but was still surprised when a cupcake landed on the edge of my space.
“Here. Made to suit your dietary restrictions.” I blinked at her for a second, my human eyes back in place, and she smiled.
The cupcake didn’t burn as I ate it, completely unsalted.
“I appreciate you thinking of me.” I admitted at the end.
“Likewise.” She paused, looking at the seat beside me.
“Can I sit here?” I smiled, a lopsided but not too lopsided smile.
“Sure. I’m just here to learn.”
Stone would speak to me about other things, after that. About her family, her brothers, the world of humanity at large. She would help me with math, and I would help her with writing. She never slipped up following the rules, but I would not have taken her even if she had, and she knew it.
At graduation, three years later, as we all cheered and threw our hats in the air, Stone leaned over to me and whispered in my ear.
“I don’t want to leave.” I gave her a startled look, the rest of the world growing dim around me.
“Can I stay with you?” She snuggled in closer to me, eyes beseeching.
“You know what I’d need.” My voice felt distant, almost hollow, though I could tell it was more resonant than usual.
“My name is Petra. Can I stay with you?” I could feel my illusions cracking, eyes shining a little too brightly.
“My name is Thali. I will keep you as long as you wish to be kept.” Then I kissed her, because it felt like the thing to do.
“Thank you.” I whispered into her hair as she laughed, delighted.
She teaches, now, and I do too. My Petra teaches mythology and astronomy, and I have late-night classes, in some of the more fluid classrooms, for those interested among my people. Explaining what I can about their world, how to cast a convincing glamour, explaining about math and science and biology.
I’m so glad I didn’t skip.
Gosh I'm tired why am I tired I had a full eight hours of sleep last night and I've had minimal contact with people today oh look there's a bird, pretty, I wonder what birds think about, actually I wonder what babies think about and how they recognise people, wait what about that embarrassing thing I did last week no I'm not going to think about that I'm going to think about the happy conversation I had instead that was really validating and fuzzy aw that was nice, I wish I could have more conversations like that
(in honour of my salty child’s birthday. Happy Birthday Pidge! I decided to write this from Pidge’s pov rather than Lance, just for a change.)
Pidge was up late again. Whoops. It was something o’clock in the dead of night - though she could argue in space, time was sort of irrelevant - and she was still perusing through Altean history. Obviously it was all in Altean, and she didn’t know that much, but still there were thorough diagrams of the technologically advanced civilization, so she didn’t mind. So time passed and lo and behold, she was still awake, fervently looking through incomplete blueprints of Voltron, frustrated at her inability to understand the scribbled notes alongside the drawings. It wasn’t as if she was tired. She didn’t really sleep much anymore.
As her rubbed her eyes in annoyance, the screen still bright, she heard a faint muffled noise - though she couldn’t really make out where or who it was coming from, nor the nature of the noise. The door slid open as she crept out into the hallway, seeking the source of the noise. She wondered if it was Shiro, knowing that he too had trouble sleeping, but it didn’t make sense; his room was a way away from hers. As she walked along the corridor, her bare feet cold against the metallic floor, the noise grew slightly louder. Soon she stopped at a door, and it occurred to her that she thought this was Lance’s, but that couldn’t be it. Lance always slept like a log - she fondly remembered in the Garrison days, all the boys trying to wake him up. Then she remembered why she was at the Garrison in the first place, and it seemed less fond.
She hesitated, unsure whether to open the door; but against her better judgement, she did.
The door slid open with a sound, and the owner of the room looked up in surprise. Pidge’s suspicions were correct. It was Lance. But he looked different. In the darkness, she could see watery trails down his cheeks, his eyes puffy, and dark circles apparent. Her eyes widened.
“L-Lance? Uh…” She trailed off, not knowing what to say, not really. He just stared at her, eyes wide and hands shaking, holding his knees under his chin. “Um…should I…go?” Pidge questioned.
“Yeah, sure. Sorry if I woke you up.”
Lance found his voice, and it was hollow, as hollow as the smile that appeared on his face.
Pidge frowned at his careless air, contrasted to his sweat-laden hair, which was uncharacteristically sticking up in different places.
“You…you didn’t wake me up. I couldn’t sleep.” She was uncomfortable; he looked so very different to the picture of ‘Lance’ in her mind. “Uh…are you alright?” Lance noticed her discomfort, and got up, rubbing his hair with an attempted air of nonchalance.
“Yeah. Totally, dude, don’t worry.”
“Um…really?” Pidge played with her sleeves, twisting them around her fingers.
Lance visibly stiffened, dropping the pretense of confidence, his shoulders tightening.
“…” He didn’t reply, tears brimming. Pidge cautiously approached him, arm outstretched, and patted him on the shoulder nervously. He flinched at her touch and she drew her arm back in shock. “I just…can’t do anything right?” His voice cracked. “I mean, look at you. You’re fourteen, and a genius. How the hell can I compare?” He looked to her, desperation on his face. She paused.
“I mean, you don’t have to, I guess?” She bit the inside of her cheek. “Shit, how do I say this?” She grabbed her hair and sighed, wincing. “Like, we’re all good at different stuff, and…well…” She closed her eyes. “Fuck! I mean, I don’t know how to do half the stuff that you do!” Her voice was louder than she had planned, and Lance’s face froze into an impassive stare.
“Like what, Pidge?” His tone was harsh and she winced in response..
“For one, you’re a really good shot. Like, really good. Do you remember when you came out of unconsciousness? And you hit that bad guy perfectly?” She looked to him for an answer, willing him to just accept it.
“Luck.” He stated simply.
“Well, you’ve done it more than once. Plus, you’re actually funny sometimes, though it pains me to admit it.” She raised her eyebrows and Lance smiled weakly, the corners of his mouth twitching. “You’d help anyone out - you believe the best in people. We’re in, this like, crazy situation and you haven’t stopped being just you. Stupid, amazing, you.” She scratched her ear. “I guess.”
Lance let out a short laugh.
“Sorry, I’m not that good at pep talk - which you are by the way. You can just energise anyone around you. But it’s okay to hurt, Lance.” Pidge looked down.
“I -” Lance begun, but she cut him off.
“But, dude, it’s not okay to hurt alone.” She crossed her arms, biting her lip.
“Thanks for calling me stupid?.” He was smiling as he said this, and Pidge laughed in response.
“Yeah, I’m pretty shit at this, aren’t I? But…if you need to talk, my door - hell, probably everyone’s door is open. I mean, like in the dead of night, probably don’t knock of Hunk’s door, he’s probably asleep. But like, I know Keith trains at this time occasionally, so…” She trailed off when Lance scoffed.
“Keith doesn’t want to talk to me.” He looked down, and Pidge rolled her eyes.
“Sure. Now, can you get back to sleep? I know I really should.” She smiled tersely and Lance nodded, wiping his cheeks. “Um…this is the worst question, but, how do you not look like shit after nights like these? I do.” She winced, but relaxed when he laughed.
“Oh my dear friend, skincare cream and foundation do their wonders.” Lance let out a grin as worry creased Pidge’s face again.
“You shouldn’t have to hide it.” She turned around. “Bye Lance.”
The door closed behind her, and she put her head in her hands. Now she knew. She cursed, wishing she knew earlier. How come she didn’t notice before? She had to tell Shiro, and although she didn’t want to betray his trust, this was far more important than pride. She bit her lip. Maybe it was a once-off thing? In the meanwhile, she should really get some sleep. God knows she needed it.
(nb as of 6/4/17: Hunk is up (along with Shiro and Pidge) Others will follow! I’ve done some editing to make the conversation flow better, once again thanks to the anon that pointed it out. I’ve edited Hunk’s and Shiro’s will be done soon. Thanks!)
(7/4/17: Coran is up!)
(17/4/17: Allura is up!)
(general note: I see Pidge and Lance as platonic, but you can read into it as you like. Also, all these stories work together, but can be read separately)
Nesta loathed having anyone touch her hair. Even as a child, she refused to let others—her mother, her maids, her governesses—brush or braid it. Their touch felt too close, too personal, and she hated how it always made her feel so…exposed.
It was why she preferred to style her own hair, much to Nuala and Cerridwen’s disappointment. Even her own sisters knew not to challenge her on this. She had always been very particular about her grooming and she wouldn’t relinquish her control over it to just anyone.
Her mate, however, was a different story.
She had seen the dreamy way Cassian looked at her when she sat at her vanity; how spellbound he was every time she undid her hair. That the General Commander of the Night Court’s armies could be enthralled by something so common, so ordinary…it made her feel strangely giddy. Girlish even. As though his admiration of her was a sparkling wine she would never stop craving.
He craved her just as much, it seemed.
She didn’t know exactly when Cassian had developed this particular hobby. But she found it suspect that no matter how long his duties claimed him, he would always arrive home just in time to see her let her hair down.
Tonight was no exception.
No sooner had she clasped the handle of her hairbrush than she heard the beat of his wings sweeping over the balcony. This, followed by the sure and steady cadence of his footsteps, sent her heart racing. As did the open-and-shut creak of the double doors that led to their bedroom.
Gods above, what had he done to her?
How could she feel such joy, such delight, at something as simple as her lover, her husband, her mate, coming home to her arms?
So…I’ve been dying to write this…I was inspired by the song Long Night by With Confidence (thanks Holly for fucking with me and ruining me with another band). It’s got angst and it’s not happy so if you don’t want to read it, you don’t have to. It’s short and I’m very happy with how it came out
[I thought it would be fun to post a full letter from the Prom Saga. Bold words are words that are underlined in the letter and my notes/comments are in brackets.]
My dearest Will:
You are simply the dearest, most thoughtful boy I know. I had no idea you would have a minute to spare on me in the midst of your “fussing” [flirting]. The very pretty book came this morning and not a word was said.
It is very dainty and interesting and lots of girls have borrowed and raved over it already. Thank you a thousand times for that and remembering to send me an invitation. [I’m guessing he sent her a Prom program?]
The girls in the room say to tell you they never heard of a cousin, simply a cousin, being so very thoughtful & lovely to a girl.
Now isn’t your dear old head being turned?
Oh, dear it makes me sorrowful, just to think of the perfect time I might be having with you to-night.
I don’t think Miss Bennett [her headmistress] knew what suffering she was causing or she would have let her old heart melt.
I am awfully glad you are having such a fine time and hope you are delighted with your girl. It’s very sweet of you to wish I were there.
If Clara Rust had gone she would have wanted Mother for chaperone, how would you have liked that? [In the 1890s co-ed activities and outings required adult chaperones, even in college.]
I never felt more like breaking out of prison in my life than I do to-night and to-morrow night if you see a mild disheveled personage making for you don’t be frightened to find me.
I’m in a horrid mood so won’t write longer and throw a damper on your joyous mood.
If there is anything left of you, be sure to write me everything.
Miss B. says disappointments are good for people. I fail to see wherein this will do me good.
Anyway you were a perfect dear to invite me and I love you for it & for other things too.
Ok I have a headcanon, so UF sans does not like to be lovey dovey or anything but after he and squish start dating whenever he gets REALLY drunk he is super sweet and gentle with her and squish is kinda put off by if because "who are you??? What have you done with sans??" And in the morning when he realizes how he acted the night before he gets super tsudere like "why the fuck are you staring at me like that? Fuck off" and squish is just happy and slightly smug for the rest of the day
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
boy howdy do i love me some softy edge
You were seething when you entered Grillby’s. This was the fifth night in a row that Papyrus called you to go pick up Sans and drag his sorry bony ass back to the apartment. You were tired of these 2am phone calls but Papyrus was a prick who couldn’t be bothered to pick up his own brother.
Son of a bitch was lucky you were so nice and unwilling to leave him stranded in the middle of the city.
Sans was leaning on the counter as usual, surrounded by a slew of glasses and bottles.
“Hey Bonehead,” you said, slapping Sans’s back, “last call. Time to go.”
Sans mumbled something incoherent, but didn’t move. How much did he have to drink? You turned him around and he reached for your back.
“Up you go,” you said.
Sans held onto you tightly and you carried him out of the bar piggyback style. You wished this wasn’t a common occurrence, but you were carrying him out more nights than not.
“You’re lucky you have me,” you said, trying not to wobble.
“i’m soooo luckyyyy to have youuuu.”
“Oh? A genuine compliment. It’s about time,” you said sarcastically.
“Thank you? You never thank me for anything.”
“you’re the best girlfriend ever, i love you soooo much.”
“Pfffft. Who are you and what have you done with Sans?”
You couldn’t help but laugh. This was hilarious. Sans was always a little more affectionate when drunk but he seemed extra cuddly tonight. Maybe this was worth getting out of bed at 2am after all.
“Say that again.”
“i loooooove you,” he slurred.
“i loooooove you.”
“How much do you love me?”
“to the moon ‘nd back, sugar.”
Ha! This was great. You were pretty happy about this and you weren’t even bothering to try and hide your smile when you walked through Sans and Papyrus’s front door.
Papyrus was on the couch, watching the doorway like a hawk. When you walked in he immediately turned his attention towards the television. Pfft. What a mother hen, waiting for you to get back with Sans.
“GLAD TO SEE YOU DIDN’T COME BACK MAIMED.”
“WELL I SUPPOSE I WISH TO HAVE SEEN SOME SLIGHT MAIMING.”
What an Edgy McDweeb Face.
You carried Sans to his room and plopped him down on his bed and tucked him in under the covers. You were going to just rub his back for a bit until he fell asleep, but he lightly pulled on your hand.
“stay with me, doll.”
Ugh. Close to 3am now. FINE. You climbed into bed. “No funny business.”
Sans rolled over so the two of you were face to face. His eye lights were white now and practically the size of saucers. You could barely make out some small indentations. Were they hearts? “i’m gonna fuckin’ nuzzle you so hard right now.”
Snrk. “Mhmm. Nuzzle me? Scandalous. What’s next? Some quality hand holding?”
He leaned in.
And then snoring. You tried your best to hold in your laughter. What a fucking nerd. You pushed him over and scooted in so you could be the big spoon, and wrapped your arm around his torso. He snuggled up to your touch immediately.
You woke up to Sans flicking you in the forehead. Ah. Back to this.
“the fuck are you doin’ in my bed?”
“Um, how about thank you for dragging your sorry ass back to your house. Again.”
“the fuck. are you doin’. in my bed.”
Ha ha. He looked really flustered. Maybe he really didn’t remember.
“You were my lil cuddle bug last night.”
“n-no i wasn’t!”
“Mmmmm yeah, the nuzzles. You nuzzled me soooo hard.”
“the fuck i did! we screwed like 11 times!”
“Then you booped my nose with your teeth. Cuz you loooooove me,” you teased, pulling him back to you.
“Mmmmm you love me soooooo much,” you teased again.
Emma eyed the bottle of rum carefully before sitting it aside, deciding that the hot chocolate she was serving didn’t need to be spiked. She lifted both mugs and walked carefully back to the sofa, waiting as her mother finished putting her little brother in his crib. Her father had finally kissed her awake, and was sleeping peacefully – well, as peacefully as one can sleep while cursed – in bed.
Snow White had been none too happy to learn just how long she had been asleep, and Emma could feel the tension radiating off her as she padded around the loft. Not that Emma could blame her. She would be livid if Killian had kept her under during a crisis, as well.
Her mother’s anger was why Emma was still at the loft. Emma recognized that Snow needed a distraction of some sorts, and she was willing to provide it. Regina was acclimating Robin to Storybrooke, and Henry and Killian had gone off to do their own thing – “We’re bonding, Mom,” Henry had said with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes – leaving just Emma and Snow alone. Not that Emma minded. She enjoyed one-on-one time with her mother. With all the crises that occurred, it was all too rare.
Finally, Neal was settled and Snow practically collapsed onto the sofa, gratefully taking the hot chocolate Emma offered. “I needed this. Is there anything chocolate can’t cure?”
Choosing not to answer her mother’s question, Emma instead asked, “So how are you doing?”
request: can you do a marco asensio imagine where he misses you and he calls you late at night and talks to you about where he sees your relationship going like having a family, getting married, etc
a/n: i’m slowly trying to work on my requests again, despite my writer’s block. it’s short but i’m trying!! i hope this one is okay, feel free to tell me what you think about it. i didn’t know much about marco so i used his wikipedia page as a reference so if any info is wrong, i blame wikipedia lol. also requests are still closed for the moment!
She wakes up to a phone call at 2 a.m. She’s already been asleep for several hours, so it takes her a moment to realize that her phone is ringing, but then she sees the caller ID flashing on the screen: Marco. Her heart starts beating fast because why would he be calling her this late unless something is wrong? She grabs the phone and immediately answers the call.
“Hi, baby,” he says soothingly. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?”
“Yeah, but it’s fine,” she sits up a little bit and turns on the light by her bed. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I don’t mean to worry you,” he says. “I just missed you.”
Prompt: Kyungsoo goes on a date to a restaurant, only to be waited on by a jealous ex.
It’s baffling, really. As he sits in the small booth near the center of the restaurant, his eyes catch sight of his ex. Yes, sure, the man looks the same–those same long legs that go on for miles, the same broad shoulders that he used to stare at, that same dazzling smile with perfect teeth and tiny dimples piercing into his cheek. Kyungsoo doesn’t realize he’s staring until a shadow looms over his view for a second as his date enters the booth.
“Hey Soo,” he snaps from his reverie and smiles sweet, kind.
“Hey Baekhyun, how are you today?” there’s a smoothness in his voice with the deep tone of his timbre. He’s got this down pat, and isn’t going to allow Jongin’s presence to disrupt this date. Especially since Kyungsoo was the one who chose to leave the relationship. Apparently, he had to learn the hard way, that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
Regret prodded at his mind shortly after the breakup, but he overcame it eventually with the aid of friends to support him no matter how idiotic he was.
Now here he is, on their fourth date. Things are going well with Baekhyun, he likes to think. And maybe that scares him but, he’ll flow with life and go wherever it leads him.
“I’m fine. So did you read the latest article about that group Exo? They sold out a huge stadium, talk about Kings, right?”
“They’re legends,” he says as he reaches for his glass of water.
“Couldn’t agree more.”
“Hello,” a voice comes from the side of their table and Kyungsoo knows that voice well–too well. It’s a reminder of the man whose voice would wake him up every morning and sing him to sleep every night. Everything about his voice is a memory Kyungsoo wishes would remain inside the abyss of his mind. Yet, when he sees Jongin more clearly now, it all comes back like a rush of water. “I’m Jongin, I’ll be your server today, what can I get you to drink?” he smiles. It’s fake. Of course, Kyungsoo could tell. With the plethora of Jongin photos saved in a folder inside of his phone, how could he not notice?
“Oh Kyungsoo, is that you?” he gives Kyungsoo a lighthearted nudge on the shoulder, “I mean, you were here not too long ago with that girl…what was her name again?”
What? Kyungsoo’s eyes widen. He throws a worried glance toward Baekhyun who has confusion plastered over his face.
“I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong–”
“No, no, I’m sure it was you. You bring all of your dates here,” Jongin turns to Baekhyun, “I mean, just two days ago he had another guy here, and they ordered the risotto. I personally recommended it,”
“Jongin!” Kyungsoo whispers loudly, “I would like to speak with you over there,” he hurries to his feet and yanks Jongin by the arm. He hauls the tall man out of hearing distance, nose flaring with anger.
“Hey, Y/n, do you mind closing up for me?” Britney asked, hanging her apron on the rack.
“Guess not” I mumbled, collecting the money from the cash register with half opened eyes.
I’ve been working since 8 am, after dropping off my siblings to school. My breaks have only been consisting of taking care of my siblings; my sleeping schedual barely existant.
Ever since my dad had passed away and my mother leaving us, I’ve been working three full time jobs and taking the classes I’m able to afford.
On top of that, I have to pay for the babysitter. She’s like a second mother to them. She’s always there whenever I’m not, and although I’m working more than being home, my siblings know I’m helping them.
I’d never leave them alone.
I’m surprised I’ve been able to make a stable living. Although my house is small with only three bedrooms, I can’t complain. I have enough money to put food and water on our table, and give all three of them an effective education.
Sighing, I placed the money where my manager had directed me to. Rubbing the tired tears away from my eyes, I shifted my gaze to my watch.
10:30 pm. Maybe I’ll be able to get the first good nights sleep within the last week.
Placing my apron on the rack, I turned off all the lights before quickly exiting the diner.
As I was locking the door, my phone began to ring. Sighing, I slid my phone out of my pocket.
“Hello?” I answered, not having any intention on seeing who it was.
“Hello my love” I heard my boyfriend, Harry, say on the other side of the phone.
If one thing could really make me happy after a rough day, it was him.
“Hi Harry. Why you callin’?” I yawned, walking across the street.
“I miss you. Do you want to stay over tonight? We can watch American Horror Story. I found a website where they have season three!” He said enthusiastically.
I giggled, shaking my head at how adorable he is. He always gets excited over the tiny things in life. Phone calls like this make me miss him.
“I can’t, Harry.” I frowned, “I just got out of work. I’m walking home now. The babysitter can’t stay the night.”
“Oh.” Harry whispered.
Tears welled up in my eyes. I miss him so much. During times like these, all I want is for him to hold me and sing me to sleep.
“Maybe I can come ov—nevermind. Nevermind. I’m sorry I asked.”
“It’s okay.” I whispered.
“I just really miss you, that’s all.”
“I miss you so much.” I cried softly, a single tear falling from my eye, “so much.”
The line went quiet, his breathing the only evidence he was still there. I closed my eyes lightly, frowning at how distant this relationship was becoming.
I should tell him how bad it really was, being this poor. I never wanted him to pitty me, especially since he had a wealthy amount of money. I don’t want him to see me differently.
“I’ll come over tomorrow, yeah? Maybe around 12? I’ll ask for a longer break.”
“It’s okay, Y/n, if you can’t. But I’d love to.”
I smiled, walking up to my driveway while grabbing my house keys.
“I love you.” I said, shoving my keys into the key hole.
“Love you more.” He said, before ending the call.
Slipping my phone in my pocket, I pushed open my door, greeted by the babysitter reading an old book that once stood on my bookshelf.
“Thank you so much for watching them all day. It means everything.” I smiled, tearing her gaze away from the book.
Ashley smiled, placing her hand up as a signal for me to stop.
“You don’t have to thank me. If anything, I should thank you. You do so much for these kids, you know? At only eighteen you’re really doing everything you can. It’s inspiring, really. To see someone give up everything for their family. Makes me want to be like you when I’m a mother.”
Tears started to pile in my eyes. To know that all my hard work isn’t going unnoticed makes me feel so relieved. It reminds me why I do all of this in the first place. My family.
“That means so much to me.” I sobbed, quickly wipping away my stray tears.
I shook my head, smiling up at her while letting out a small giggle.
“I’m sorry. You can head home. Just—thank you so much.”
Leaning foward, Ashley gave me a tight hug, rubbing my back as soft as she could.
“You’re amazing. Stay that way, okay? Have a good night.”
“You too.” I smiled, giving my last wave before she walked out the door.
I sighed, heading into my room. I took off my work clothes, immediately replacing them with yoga pants and one of Harry’s t-shirts that I had stolen from him.
Making my way into the bathroom, I had noticed something was wrong. I heard gagging, loud choking sounds coming from the other side of the door.
With panic, I quickly swung open the door. Dylan, my youngest sibling, was hunged over the toilet. Vomit was erupting out of him, his loud sobs raking through his body he was near hysteria.
“Oh my poor Dylan.” I whispered.
Kneeling next to him, I started to slowly rub his sweat-covered back. He was shaking, his entire body pale as he went limb into my body.
“Oh my Dyl. My lovely Dyl.”
I swept his long hair off of his sweaty forehead, placing a small kiss right on his temple.
While rocking him back and forth, I had realized that I wouldn’t be getting my sleep tonight.
It was selfish of me, to think about myself in this situation. But this is what exhastian does to you. It makes you want rest, and anything that gets in the way makes you selfish.
“Dylan, are you able to sleep?” I asked, hoping, praying that he was able to.
“No. I don’t feel good.” He sobbed.
“Dylan, why don’t we go to my bedroom and get some sl—”
“No, sissy, no. I need to stay here. If I go over there I’ll throw up all over the floor. We have to stay here.”
My tears started to fall rapidly down my cheeks. I don’t know if I’ll be able to take care of him like this, so weak and tired. I wish I could take care of him all night, but I know I won’t be able to. Not when I’m like this.
“God. Oh God.” I whispered, reaching my hand up to my eyes.
I need help. I know I need help. There was no way I’m going to be able to do this alone.
Grabbing my phone from the floor, I was doing the one thing I should have done a long time ago.
Going through my contacts, I clicked Harry’s name. The more time passed, the more I got emotional. How have I done this to myself?
“Harry.” I sobbed, rubbing Dylan’s arm up and down in attempt to calm the both of us down.
“Y/n, Y/n, darling. What’s wrong?”
My cries were only getting louder. I’m so tired, so mentally and physically tired. I’m so scared, scared for my brother. I’m every emotion that was enough to kill a person, and I’m at my breaking point.
“I need your help. I really need your help.”
“Oh my God. Okay. Where are you?”
I heard his car keys jiggle on the other line, and I’m so thankful that he’s up at this time.
“I’m at my house, Harry. Please, I need you.”
“I’ll help you, you just have to tell me what your adress is, Y/n. This is the only way I can help you.”
“53 Livingston Street. I can’t answer th—the door so please just come in. Please.” I whispered.
“I’m leaving now. I’ll be right there. Do you hear me?”
“Good. You’re alright. Just breathe. You’re okay. Let me go so that I can drive, alright? I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Hanging up the phone, I pulled Dylan more against me, rocking the both of us back and forth. I tried to settle my crying down for him, so that he wouldn’t think I’m like this because of him. He had done nothing wrong. This was my fault.
When minutes started to feel like hours, Harry stormed into my house. He looked panicked. Eyes wide and body out of control. I think it made him oblivious to the way my house looks.
“Y/n?! Y/n?!” Harry screamed.
“Harry” I whimpered, reaching my arm toward him.
He turned around to my voice, his body relaxing, letting out a sigh of relief.
“My poor baby.” He frowned.
Once he reached me, he planted a light kiss on my lips. Nothing too hard, nothing too soft.
“What’s wrong, my angel?”
My bottim lip quivered, my eyes shutting tightly as a loud sob escaped my throat.
“I—I’m so tired. I’ve been working 14 to 20 hours everyday, I never get sleep, I have classes. I have to take care of my siblings. I’m just so tired, Harry. I just want sleep and you and to rest. For one day, I just want a break.”
“And now Dylan is sick, and I don’t know what to do. I’m going to panic over the tiniest things. I’m going to have to help him but I’m just so tired.”
My head fell into his chest, my exhausted tears seeping through his shirt. He didn’t seem to mind, for he kept rubbing my back in circular motions.
I felt Dylan place his warm hand on my cheek, rubbing his palm upon my skin. Looking down at him, I saw him frowning at me. His puppy dog eyes filled with tears.
“I’m sorry, sissy. Don’t be mad at me.”
A small smile formed on my lips.
“I could never be mad at you, baby boy. You’re my life. I care for you more than for me, even though sometimes it doesn’t seem like it.”
Staring down at him for too long, I felt my body begin to fall foward. My eyes were close to closing on me, my body becoming weaker by the second.
Harry’s hand stopped me before I fell on top of Dylan.
“Alright, that’s it. Let me take you to bed, I’ll take care of Dylan here and put him to bed, alright?” Harry asked, lifting me up onto him.
“No, Y/n. This is crossing the line. Dylan, do you think you can stay here while I put your sister to bed?”
He nodded, his pale body pushing off of mine.
Harry sighed, lifting me up bridal style. I cuddled into him, my cheek laying perfectly on his chest.
My body was placed onto my stiff matress, a blanket being wrapped around me like a cacoon. I hadn’t been this comfortable for as long as I could remember.
I heard Harry mumble something, but my body was crashing down. I was on the edge of passing out. My body feeling as if it wasn’t real.
Before I knew it, Harry had entered my room. I heard his shirt and pants hitting the floor before he made his way over to my bed.
His body cuddled into mine. His arms wrapped around me where his fingers hooked together at the end of my back. He sighed, kissing my forehead before tangling our legs together.
“You should have told me.” He whispered, “I would have helped.”
I shook my head, eyes still closed and I burried my face in his shoulder.
“I know” I mumbled, “‘m sorry.”
“It’s okay baby. It’s okay.”
His cold fingers lifted up my shirt, his freezing tips dancing along the dimples.
“Sleep, my darling. Tomorrow will be just you and me, okay? No work for you. You need to rest.”
“But I need the mone—”
“One day won’t hurt you. I promise, alright?”
His lips met with the skin behind my ear, his soft voice lulling me into a deep sleep.
“Hm?” He hummed.
A lazy smile formed on my lips, grazing them along his neck.
“I’m in love with you.” I mumbled, before I was off with my dreams.
really am sorry, you know,” Kylo said before you both walked up the ramp of the
you’re forgetting that you don’t letme
know… Anything,” you mumbled.
sighed, but his expression told you he was half expecting you to not give up so
easily, “I mean it.”
smirk danced across your mouth, “Well I’m not sorry for pushing you over.”
don’t expect you to be,” Kylo said, his tone returning back to normal now.
And I meant what I said. If you even think
about trying that again, I’ll—”
perfectly aware of your capabilities, Princess. I already promised it won’t
nodded, “Then I suppose I promise not to ‘pry’—as you called it. Though I
really wish you would be honest with me. I’ve hidden nothing from you.”
tell you everything you need to know,” Kylo was getting tired of the same
argument you seemed to be starting over and over.
not everything I want to know.”
suppose I don’t.” Kylo responded. You were slightly taken aback by his
agreement with you, but when he said nothing else you decided to end the
the lovebirds needed their space, they could have just asked for it,” Hux sang
as you and Kylo appeared at the top of the ramp.
up,” you sneered as you strode into the cockpit. In all the commotion, you had
nearly forgotten about the pilot that was also on board.
you connected through to the Base yet, James?”
Your Highness,” he said, standing up hurriedly when he saw you enter, “A starship
has been deployed, it will be here by morning.”
breathed a sigh of relief, giving him a quick smile before exiting the cockpit.
gaze immediately went to Hux, who looked at you with an amused expression.
admiring your attire, Your Highness,” he smirked.
hid your embarrassment well as you remembered you were still wrapped in Kylo’s robe.
You shrugged it off hastily and went to find Kylo, who had stalked off into his
entered the room to find Kylo leaning with his back against the wall, eyes
closed in what seemed to be a state of deep thought. Was he…meditating?
is it Princess?” Kylo slowly opened his eyes but kept his gaze fixated on the
came to give you this…” you said, handing him his robe.
can’t say it’s something I would wear,” you said, amused by his response.
mean it keep it for now. The Shuttle’s power is minimal, it’s not like being
inside here is any warmer than being out there,” he gestured to the viewport.
won’t you need it to stay warm?” You asked, trying to push the robe back to
think I’ve caused you enough harm today, Princess. Besides, what good will an
apprentice be if they’re ill?”
hesitated for a moment before realising he wasn’t going to take no for an
answer, “Well thank you, then.”
nodded in response.
were you doing when I walked in?” You couldn’t help but ask.
what? I um… I can’t hear your thoughts,” you thought you would add that detail.
looked puzzled. What about this bond he had just told you about? “Well can you
hear my thoughts?”
you even need to ask?”
frowned, “Teach me how to control them.”
can’t teach you how to control your thoughts, Y/N. They are your own,” Kylo
rolled your eyes, “You know what I mean. You can influence our… mental
connection far more than I can. I want you to show me how.”
pondered your request for a moment before nodding, “As you wish.”
also nodded in response before wavering. Where exactly were you meant to go
now? The Shuttle was only so big, and you knew that Kylo couldn’t stalk off at
night as he usually did… Well, unless he wanted to freeze out on the planet’s
are no beds on board, I’m afraid.”
you said, half in surprise that he was listening to your thoughts.
seemed to smile slightly at that, “Only when you project your thoughts, Y/N.”
furrowed your brows. This was funny to
him? Before you could retort with something witty, Kylo spoke.
Stay in here until morning,” he suggested.
right, I suppose Hux and James will be expecting us to anyway.” You said,
recalling how Kylo had acted when your mother had visited your room back in the
huffed, “I don’t care what they expect. This room will be warmer with two
people in it, that’s all.”
fair. You looked around for something comfortable to lean on, but soon realised
that aside from the metal desk and chair in the centre of the room, it was entirely
on the far right corner of the room, shifting until you found a position that would
be decent enough for you to find sleep with. Closing your eyes, you nestled
your head into the crook of your arm, the exhaustion finally catching up to
you. You let out a sigh as a sudden feeling of warmth embraced you… Wait.
eyes snapped open and you gasped slightly when you realised you were face to
face with Kylo.
looked at you confusedly, “What?”
stood up quickly, steadying yourself against the wall, “W-what are you doing?”
trying to go to sleep.”
scoffed, “Is this a game to you?!
eyes narrowed, “Not that I play games, Princess, but I don’t think sleeping
counts as one.”
w-why do you have to sleep next to me?”
trying to stay warm aren’t we…?” He seemed genuinely confused by your
then I would rather be cold, thank you,” you mumbled as you walked to the
opposite corner of the room.
reaction was not quite what Kylo had expected, but he shrugged as he watched
you settle into your new sleeping space.
lied down again, crossing his arms as he stared up at the ceiling. On the other
side of the room, you were doing the same.
don’t understand you, Princess.”
you said quietly as you nestled into a comfortable position, the warmth from
Kylo’s robe helping you drift off to sleep.
someone who wants me to be closer to them, you have an odd way of showing it,”
didn’t literallymean I want you physically close to me,” you said,
trying to hide your embarrassment as you said those words out loud.
you had shared a bed before. But it was as if this side of Kylo was entirely
new to you. Perhaps it was because he felt bad for how he treated you… but
still, it felt so sudden. You were so used to the cold and distant Kylo.
But this version of the man was different. He seemed
to show that he cared more outwardly… he was almost affectionate.
could hear Kylo’s footsteps approach you, and you opened your eyes ready to
you say anything, me keeping you warm doesn’t mean that you’re going to go
falling in love with me, Princess,” Kylo said.
groaned, “When we get back to the Base, the first thing you’re doing is
teaching me how to keep you out of my
he smirked, “Now go to sleep, we have a long journey back tomorrow.”
couldn’t deny that you were thankful for his presence beside you as a feeling
of warmth coursed through you once more.
Princess,” he said sleepily.
Commander,” you mumbled, only half-awake now as you recalled the first time you
had uttered those exact words to one another. Though it had only been a matter
of weeks, you felt now more than ever that perhaps you finally getting through
to the man Kylo really was underneath that brooding exterior.
still had his bad temper. He was still incredibly stubborn. But then again, so
were you. It was like the more time you would spend with one another, even when
arguing, was time in which you learned more and more about the other person.
words echoed in your mind, and you prayed to the Maker that they weren’t being
projected in to his at that moment. Doesn’t
mean that you’re going to go falling in love with me, Princess.
trouble was, you were starting to feel like that was exactly what you wanted to.
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