oh how i wish i could believe that

kimseokjinsthighs  asked:

Hey just letting you know your tags made me cry for my fic bc that's literally the nicest shit anyone has ever said about my story thank you. Honestly ;~; thank you

…. okay i’m not going to scream but oh my gosh

@kimseokjinsthighs first of all thank you for writing such an amazing fic!! words cannot express how much i love it, 10000/10, my favourite taejin fic by a mile and in my top 5 bts fics of all time for sure!

 it’s the first fic i’ve actually wanted to actually tell people (like not just people who like bts but like, everyone) about and discuss with them like seriously i was so hooked. for that whole entire week the first thing i did when i got up (like literally as soon as i opened my eyes) was check to see if you had updated and every time i saw i new chapter i nearly cried (idk what i would have done if you didn’t update as quick as you did, probably cry some more). i would read your fic sneakily in lectures (which i never do bc i’m hella shy and scared of being caught) but dude,,,

i usually don’t get this way over fics (i’ve read it three times now which is impressive considering i barely ever read the same fic twice) and i wish i actually commented on your story (something i also never do bc i’m trash) but i’m so glad i have a chance to tell you now how i feel bc damn i have so many emotions i literally wasn’t joking when i said i could probably write an essay on your fic that’s how much it affected me. i write too so i could tell a hell of a lot of effort went into the fic and it shines through in every chapter. i swear to god there were moments i got chills and had to stop reading for a minute (this has literally only happened when i’ve read like proper novels and omg i just realised i must sound like such a kiss ass but oh well this is your fault anyway so sorry for the word vomit)  the characters were so compelling and unique i’ve never seen a relationship like theirs before and i found it so so enthralling. and i think you also wrote one of my favourite version of jin i have ever seen. i write bts ff too and i read a lot of it and i feel jin is usually the one who gets stereotyped and kinda forgotten or dismissed and poorly written jin is one of my pet peeves and you made him so interesting and complex (it was so interesting to see the one who is usually stuck in the ‘motherly’ roll act the way he does in your stroy and it made my heart sing) and tae omg my poor baby he was hurting so much, they both were and you did such a good job of getting in their heads and letting us understand why they acted the way they did (i saw you explained jin’s charcater and motivation at the very end but personally i didn’t need that bc i thought it was very clear from the way you wrote but it was interesting to read none the less) you had me rooting for them to work out (which is quite a feat considering how messed up everything was) 

your writing style was quite simple imo but so so effective and at times really beautiful and atmospheric and idk how to describe it but it felt clean and neat like it wasn’t cluttered with needless words which is how good writing is supposed to be, you take out the unnecessary fluff and you’re left with the best bits. i loved jk in this and his relationship with taehyung. it was plotted so well and i was so happy with the ending seriously i don’t think i wanted it to end any other way. it was just so satisfying and perfect like i hate when ending so get it right like an itch i can’t scratch and it bugs the shit out of me.  

like i said i write too so i know how important feedback is and how rewarding it is to get comments (well for me anyway) so i am sorry i didn’t go out of my way to tell you how incredible your fic is but i hope this embarassing mess of a reply gets across how i felt and yeah

just thank you and everyone go read this fic~ 

Originally posted by eyesmiletrash

Oh how I wish I could tell you all the things you’ve done to me. But how can I, when you can’t even face me properly. All you do is avoid and run away from me. We were best friends, and whether you genuinely meant it or not, that i helped you in some way or another, it’s just so hard to believe if anything in this friendship was real or not.

I want to move on too and i just wish I never met you if this is how we would end up.

Stop telling me that you love me when you only know the color of my hair and not what I’ve been through. I promise you that once you realize how damaged I am, your “love” will turn into contempt.

Oh, how I wish I could believe you but you are lying to both yourself and I. You will never find love in someone like me.

—  I hope you forget about me

I love God. I adore God. I cannot separate myself from Them no matter how hard I try. I was abused by family and theology and the church, and yet I still feel God whisper to me, whisper that it’s okay to find Them in the mystic, in the esoteric. 

I haven’t been able to crack a Bible in moths, but still They whisper to me. And oh how deeply I wish that I could separate God from the awful, abusive one I was raised to believe in, the one I was raised to fear, the one in whom so much of my pain is wrapped up in, the one who I always assumed was disappointed in me, the one who let me suffer because I probably wasn’t following God’s will/God properly anyway. (I thought I deserved my suffering.) 

“You don’t need psychic tea to engage with me.”

“I know. But it helps filter out the pain I’ve associated with You.” 

Deep sigh. “That’s a painful truth, and I understand. I still love you, you know.”

“And I still love you. Even though I’ve been so separate from you.”

“You’re not separate from Me if you still long to do good and bring life and love into the world. You worship me in ways you didn’t know was worship.”

im handling it well cos i know i need to be alone rn for personal growths sake but holy fuck today i went to some mineral springs and i ate an edible and i got so caught up all i could think about was how much i miss kissing my ex boyfriend and how nice he was to me and i can’t believe i had to break up with him just b/c i’m all fucked up right now and oh my god i wish i was a more put together person so i could be with someone/him/i’m so sad/it’s all gonna be ok… i went from dating one person for a year to dating another person (who cheated on me in a poly relationship) to dating him and it was the most magic times of my life the time i got to spend with him? but i was still dissociating thruout it and would lash out around him :( i want to be ok so people can fully enjoy being around me without worrying about me. so my jealousy/paranoia issues were overbearing and i don’t love myself enough to be in a committed relationship rn AND i hate computers so the ldr didn’t work AND we both need to grow separately. so i’m ok but i still fucking miss the fucking shit out of him every day :( i already feel like a lot better about myself since we broke up b/c i have been FORCED to sit alone with myself and love on myself and it’s ACTUALLY WORKING this time. it’s so fucking weird. like our relationship accidentally put us in limbo. especially cos we both dated ppl w/ overlap nonstop for like the past 3 years and we are both still teens…
and now i’m talking about it on tumblr til i get a new therapist haha thanks guys i wonder who the fuck sees my blog anymore… i can’t believe i’m only seventeen i hate feeling like i know more than i really know i’m really only a baby and need to give myself lots of time and space to grow…. it just hurts cos valentine’s day is coming up and i don’t even have a close irl friend to spend time with :( i feel so alone in the world but i’m starting to find comfort and solace in it

So I was going through my files today and found this gem that I believe has not yet been translated and posted here on tumblr. It’s a bit outdated, but it’s nice for nostalgia’s sake! I miss the days when Ja’far would openly scold Sinbad. Now it seems like he just stays silently by his side. No doubt he can somewhat sense the foreign presence that lies within Sinbad and may be intimidated by it.  ;__; Oh how I wish we could go back to these days…

authorgod replied to your post “Every once in a while, I remember how my college roommate’s boyfriend…”

oh my god I WISH i could say this is the first time I’ve heard this, but I’ve had friends tell me that guys they’re with/been with don’t believe in lube either, and have taken it personally if she suggests it. Like. ..? I don’t get straight dudes. I don’t get it.

i honestly can’t fathom a reason to be against lube

Thoughts on Nate Ford

If there’s one side of Nate I’d like to talk more about, it would be his past. He already undergoes a great amount of character development throughout the show, but he also has a brilliant backstory that is hardly discussed.

Nate grew up with a criminal father whom he was obviously ashamed of but who nevertheless expected him to follow in his footsteps. Jimmy pushed him hard, always expecting more, especially after his mother died. I bet little Nate looked at other families and wished his own was more like them.

I wonder how much Nate remembered of his mother.

Little Nate never felt good enough or smart enough, and he was looking for a way out. He found it in religion. Was seminary school a way of escaping his old life, of finding a home or did he actually believe once? If so, what caused him to be disillusioned from his calling? Was it Maggie?

Oh, image young Nate in Love. I think the whole city could tell how smitten he was. But of course he’d be consumed by doubt. Not because he was supposed to become a preacher - Nate switches alliances quite easily when it suits him, a flexibility that makes him a great mastermind and a difficult person to love - but because he didn’t know what he could offer the brilliant young researcher that Maggie already is. Nate wanted nothing more than a normal family and feared nothing more than ruining it like his father did.

He made the decision, in the end, to leave school and pursue romance. He always had that tendency to ruthlessly pursue whatever he set his mind to. I think he didn’t expect the difficult part to be to get Maggie to choose him too. Maggie who was always the practical one (and that’s saying something, compared to Nate), who probably insisted she couldn’t date a seminary school drop-out.

I wonder how he came to be in insurance fraud investigation. Did Sterling get him in, or did they meet much later? When did Nate find out how good he was at his work? That the thought of catching bad guys made him feel like he was resetting the balance of his father’s work?
How long after his first successful bust did Maggie finally agree to get that cup of coffee?

And we know what roughly what happened after that. The deep fall. The slow recovery. Falling in love again. Finding a family again. And what a lovely thing it was to watch.

Charms and Quidditch VI

Pedrazar Hogwarts AU - 1532 words

Part V

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Beatrice demanded.

Pedro was already beginning to regret his decision to confide in Beatrice about what had happened the other evening. They were sat in the courtyard, waiting between lunch and next lesson. It was beginning to get overcast and Pedro wished he had put his jumper on.

“Well, it’s not that simple -” he began, but as usual Bea didn’t really give him a chance.

Keep reading

6

More Sparkle 2015 pictures. Here’s some of me and my beautiful girlfriend Katie Hart. Can’t believe this time last week I was sat in the Sackville Gardens in Manchester getting merry on booze. Oh how I wish one could relive that weekend. Ah well, less than a year till the next one :D xxx

People who say Whouffaldi is Gross

How in the WORLD is Whouffaldi gross? I mean, at first glance, it might be. You see and older man standing next to a younger woman, and you think, “Oh no, that’s wrong.” I get it, because I was scared for Whouffaldi before series 8 came out. I was a Souffez shipper, and seeing how flirty Eleven was with Clara, I didn’t want that to continue with Twelve.

Luckily, it didn’t. I full on believe the Twelfth Doctor always had a crush on Clara, but he’s not sexual about it. The thought doesn’t even cross his mind (remember in Dark Water how Dr. Chang was explaining dark water, and how he wished it could be used in swimming pools? The Doctor didn’t understand why, and it’s just proof that he doesn’t see the appeal or point of…privates).

Clara is not a sexual person either, and does not view the Doctor sexually. She doesn’t have a “daddy kink.” The Doctor is her best friend, and they share a deep bond. They don’t always get along, their issues sometimes dipping into the extreme, but they always work through the rough patches. The Doctor and Clara don’t give up on each other, and they try to improve for each other.

It’s not just two people spending time with each other, hating every moment but feeling forced into something. Whouffaldi is pretty selfless. It’s problematic, but no relationship is perfect. That’s what I love about Whouffaldi - it is REAL. It’s a relationship (love or otherwise) that’s DEVELOPED like a REAL relationship. That’s not the point, though. Whouffaldi is not gross, and Series 9 just shows that the Doctor and Clara purely and solely enjoy having adventures TOGETHER. That point IS in FACT CANON. Pay attention to interviews. THANK YOU.

Freak out sequence: WHERE DO I BEGIN.
I WAS PUT INTO PORTAL, VIRTUAL REALITY
GLADOS WAS RIGHT. IN. MY. FACE.
SHE TALKED TO ME….
SHE WAS SO BIG.
I MIGHT HAVE CRIED
I CRIED. I DID CRY.
CANT BELIEVE HOW…AMAZING THAT WAS
ATLAS–, I HAD TO REPARE HIM.
hes so much bigger than I imagined.
GLADOS…UHG.
I WAS IN…..APATURE SXIENCE
I WAS ..THERE….
OH MY GOD
GLADOS.


ok … so when i got out of this. I needed like 10-20 minutes to calmdown. This is…the best thing ive ever done and I really wish I could just….have had more time to interact with everything.
Other than portal, they had a 3-d drawing program. A cooking game. And an under water game that I couldn’t do because of my whale phobia.
But that Portal sequence. You could see all the way into the factory. You could see…everything. the details were amazing. I touched Atlas. I seen glados.
My life has been changed for sure. I wanted to take photos of everything with my phone as if it were really infront of me but i couldnt. Its kinda like a dream. I cant even share this experience other than just talking about it.

Presentable Liberty

My world is just a room

Where the sun can bloom

Through a small square

How does the world fare

The news I receive

I cannot believe

The world is dying

Profits are flying

Dr. Money is no friend

But he says so to no end

He tells me I am the only one

to be safe out of everyone

I get letters from a traveler

A friend that is so cavalier

he knows not the fate

of the world, nor it’s state

He sent me a small bug I call Christian

I only wish I could write Sebastian

And warn to never return

To the ashes in this urn

Oh, Happy Buddy

I know you aren’t the fuddy duddy

That Mr. Money hopes you to be

Please don’t please me

Your limbs will not bring happiness

Please flee from this madness

He took your daughter

Don’t let him fake your laughter

Charlotte, thank you for the cake

though it was easy to bake

It is true?

is the world through?

You say you saw them choke

I can only assume it is no joke

I hear your music

It makes me feel less sick

Happy Buddy, the unknown man

I know what you plan

And wish you wouldn’t

Because I know I couldn’t

I have witnessed a crime

The end, bitter as a lime

A friend I never knew

The Happy Buddy is through

The last few letters do not bode well

for Charlotte’s world is hell

I know what she means to do

Just like Happy Buddy, I knew

Sebastian, please flee

No, do not help me

You’ll only throw away your life

Please, run from this strife

Sebastian you fool

Fate is so cruel

Three of the five people I know

Have ended their show

Seb sacrificed everything

to give me anything

The door stands ajar

Nothing can be heard, near nor far

Dr. Money warns me to stay

I’m afraid I must stray

I must see the world

And see the truth unfurled

Charlotte is gone, the store is bloody

Happy Buddy is gone, no body

Seb is gone, dead to see my face

Dr. Money…well, I don’t care, that’s the case

Me, well, back to the cell

Rotting in Earth-turned-hell

Sitting in the shade

until I fades

Please, world, hear my pleas

I wish this were only a tease

It is all true

The world is through