oh how i miss being a kid

do you think after Ron and Hermione got out of the trapdoor and raised the alarm and were being patched up in the hospital wing

do you think they were given the most royal proud mama smackdown by McGonagall like “ how DARE you infiltrate a death maze you are ELEVEN and miss granger how on earth did you solve my chessboard i”

and hermione interjected like “oh professor it wasn’t me. i’m useless at chess. it was ron.”

and McGonagall turned to look at Ron Weasley in total amazement at this 11 yr old kid who had been pretty ordinary in all her classes but had apparently beaten her in death chess and he just shrugged like “rookie mistakes, professor. you made some rookie mistakes.”

in which jack and shitty accidentally date

based on a dream I had, I present: a short semi-fic about Jack and Shitty and their day-long, beautiful relationship.

Basically, this is what happens:

At a kegster during their freshmen year, in which Shitty is running around being the life of the party even though he’s a freshman, Jack is also in attendance– talking to Berger and Marsh in the kitchen. Jack is there, partly to keep an eye on Shitty, partly because he is surprised by how much he does like some of the guys on his team, mostly because they had won today and Jack is in quite a good mood. Not a good enough mood that he is going to risk going into the living room where music is blasting, but in a good enough mood that he is holding a solo cup of beer and chilling in the kitchen, chatting with Berger and Marsh. He is at ease as Jack ever is– laughing good naturedly as they tease both him and each other and of course, this is when the trouble starts.

The trouble is this: Marsh is drunk and excited that Jack has actually shown up to a Haus kegster and since Jack seems to be in a good mood, Marsh decides to take a risk and ask Jack a Question. More specifically, Marsh rams an friendly elbow into Jack’s ribs and goes:

“Yo, Zimmermann, you like anyone on campus yet?”

A few months prior, that question would have made Jack freeze up. But now, Jack smiles easily (because honestly, it is a rather respectful question– “like” instead of “fuck”; “anyone” instead of assuming “girl”) and he certainly doesn’t want to get into his romantic history or lack of crushes so he smiles, shrugs, and says

“Nah, love’s shitty,” It’s still friendly and he smiles and asks Berg about his crush that the whole team knows about and that should be that.

The problem, however, is that what Alex Berger and Carter Marsh heard was not “Nah, love’s shitty,” but “I’m in love with Shitty.”

Which, of course, is a much bigger deal. 

Keep reading

it’s funny, so i just saw logan last night (which is both Very Funny and Very Not, but that’s a different story)

so you meet dear little laura, and you’re hanging out with her on this father-daughter bonding transamerican roadtrip, right? and she’s making shrieking noises and beheading people and stealing shit from convenience stores, and you’re like okay– secret weapons project, bioengineering, brainwashing, this makes sense. i see how you got here, you precious and wonderful child of death who i wish such good things for. it all makes sense.

but then you meet her cohort of other secret weapons children– and wait. these children are not like laura. these kids got some trauma and some superpowers, but are otherwise a lot more like “hi i’m johnny.” laura is a special murder snowflake.

in the ~final confrontation~ all laura’s buddies are, when cornered, taking down individual soldiers with faces that say “i am a scared but competent preteen and/or teen.” all of them team up to slowly and almost meditatively kill That One Douchebag, and it’s all very Big Deal, this is a Moment

and then you have laura, backflipping off her dad’s back while issuing an enraged nonverbal shriek of full-bodied fury and sticking her landing with her claws knuckle-deep in a baddie’s chest

what was she like in the lab? i mean, this kid clearly has a Protective Streak and also, you may have noticed, giant claws that spring from her tiny clenched fists, like, i bet this was a thing

i can just imagine the kids being like “laura’s late to the rendezvous, should we be worried?”

“she probably just got distracted by MURDER again, you know how it is, remember easter 2023?”

“oh damn it i miss that girl.”

“my favorite sister.”

“i thought i was your favorite sister.”

“only when i need my drink iced– ow– hey!– i’ll tell laura!”

“go ahead! she’ll side with me!”

tl;dr all tiny bilingual mutant found-families need a shrieking murder child

Sometimes I hear your voice in the background of songs we used to listen to. You’re saying you wish I was home so we could screw each other over just one more time. I don’t want one more though. I want an infinite amount or nothing at all. I choose nothing. It’s more realistic that way.
—  We didn’t treat each other right
2

Hey you know that recent dan gif hat you posted? Imagine he’s looking at you like that :3-anon

“You told on me?” You were on the complete opposite side of the house but you could hear him make his way to you in the lounge.

“What are you talking about?” You were honestly confused as to what the hell he was going on about now? 

“You called my grandma and told her that I was being mean to you?” It was all suddenly coming back to you. 

"Oh that, Well if you must know she called me asking how I was and I accidentally not accidentally told her that you were being mean to me. Also, she misses you. Call her for Christ sakes.” Dan put on his slightly grumpy pouty face to let you know he wasn’t kidding around. 

“First, stop telling on me to my grandma. She’s making me buy you flowers and I need to send her proof of you with them. Second I said that I was sorry but I can’t control what I say when I’m hangry.” You were trying your absolute hardest to keep the same straight face as Dan but it was starting to prove impossible. He was just so cute.

 "I think you should just listen to your elders Daniel. Also, listen to me when I say you should add chocolate to the forgiveness flowers.“ Dan and yourself finally cracked as the both of you started laughing uncontrollably.

“The only way you are getting chocolate is if their maltesers and you share.” 

“Deal.”

Something Like That

Originally posted by korean-hip-hop

“Okay, there’s a list of important phone numbers on the fridge and I made sure to put most of them in your phone, too. The schedule’s on the fridge, too. Don’t forget that Hana has ballet tomorrow night and Thursday night and Min has soccer practice after school every day this week. They have a big game on Saturday and it’s our turn to bring snacks. I’ve already bought them, they’re in the pantry in a green bag, just grab them on the way to the game. Takeout after the game is fine but please, for my peace of mind, cook something for them during the week. Or feed them some kind of vegetable. It doesn’t matter. Just don’t gorge them on McDonald’s all week, okay?”

Jay’s trying his hardest not to laugh as he nods at your instructions. “I know,” he sighs for the third time, “I’ve seen the schedule and the lists. You left recipes by the stove, too. You’re only going to be gone for a week. I think I can handle the kids for that long.”

You fix him with a look before you sigh and nod. “Fine, fine. I know. I trust you. It’s just, this is the first time I’ve been away from them for this long. A day or two, sure, but a whole week? It sucks.”

Keep reading

Being married to michael

-”Will you still love me when I go bald?”
-Fangirling over bands together
-Your kid making fun of Luke
-Him bringing home a kitten and trying to hide it from you
-Stealing his favorite shirt
-Reading muke fanfics together
-”No, he’s four. You can’t dye his hair green”
-(but lol he does it anyway)
-Watching series together
-”Mrs. Clifford”
-Spending time with his family when he’s on tour
-Texts from him saying “I miss your boobs” when he’s on tour
-”You’re so loud, oh my god”
-Watching pokemon together
-Teaching your kid how to play guitar
-High fives after great sex
-Teaching your kid how to be punk rock
-”I’m bored, can you suck me off?”
-Feeding your kid nothing but pizza

i am just so ANGRY because MICKEY AND MANDY MILKOVICH WERE GOOD FUCKING PEOPLE who absolutely did not DESERVE what happened to them and they are now not even being treated with the respect and love that THEY SHOULD BE TREATED WITH. after their entire lives being ABUSE VICTIMS this is how they’re sent off the show, are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? and FUCKING SHEILA CALLAWHATEVERTHEFUCK talking about mickey becoming ian’s NURSE like literally shut the fUCK up, how do the WRITERS not even have a grasp on their own fucking character what thE FUCK I AM SO MAD. gOD so he’s finally taking care of the person he loves after literally going through HELL TO BE WITH HIM and now that’s a bad thing????? and he was being overbearing??? and oh oh oh ian just missed the old badass mickey??? didn’t want him to be all soft and gentle but now that he’s gone ian just wants something soft and gentle give me a fUCKING break. and WHILE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT IT, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO IAN? HOW COULD YOU DEMOLISH SUCH AN INCREDIBLY WELL-CRAFTED CHARACTER? LIKE WHERE THE FUCK DID IAN GO? see like the ONLY way i’ve been able to interpret his actions is like if ian is still somewhat in love with mickey and the only way he knows how to cope is by distancing himself and trying to convince himself that the relationship wasn’t “real” or all too good or whatever. like i get that. i’ve been there. and it’s a natural coping mechanism. BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT THE WRITERS ARE DOING. THEY ARE FUCKING UP IAN’S CHARACTER AND I’M NOT OKAY WITH IT. BIPOLAR DISORDER DOESN’T CHANGE YOUR PERSONALITY LIKE THAT, DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT MENTAL DISORDERS ARE??? I’M SICK OF THEM TRYING TO DESTROY IAN GALLAGHER. IT’S NOT REALISTIC AND IM FUCKING MAD BECAUSE THEY ALREADY DID THIS WITH DEBBIE. as SOON as debbie became a teenager they literally threw her character out the window and gave her a new one. what, you think as soon as you get your period you become an entirely different person? AND YOU KNOWS it’s because she’s a girl, because carl is going thru his dumbass teenager phase too but it FITS his personality, as much as we wished he wouldn’t take the criminal lifestyle to heart. but NO debbie is a GIRL so of COURSE SHE HAS TO BECOME THE AIRHEADED HORMONAL TEENAGE GIRL WHO’S OBSESSED WITH BOYS AND WANTS A BABY, like are you FUCKINg kidding me? that is the most un-debbie like storyline ever, and it’s sO overdone, are you really lacking creativity tHAT badly?!?!? oh teenagers have the stereotype of being troublemakers so naturally debbie has to be one of them. YES OKAY MAKE HER REBEL, MAKE HER QUESTION THINGS LIKE A TEENAGER, but she IS STILL DEBBIE FOR FUCKS SAKE. SHES STILL THE SAME PERSON. look at the debbie in season 3 and tell me it’s the same person as the one we’re seeing now. go ahead. i dare you. because there’s a difference between growing up and going through phases, and completely developing a new mindset, a new set of beliefs, and a new fucking personality?!?!?! and NOW THEY’RE TRYING TO DO THE SAME WITH IAN.

YOU WANT TO MAKE THOSE SHITTY CHARACTERS?! GO AHEAD. BUT YOU DON’T GET TO JUST TRANSFORM ALREADY BUILT CHARACTERS INTO THEM. THAT’S NOT HOW HUMANS WORK, YOU UNINFORMED PIECES OF SHIT WITH YOUR SUPPOSEDLY “REALISTIC” SHOW.

EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER WITH DEPTH OUTSIDE THE GALLAGHER FAMILY WAS WRITTEN OFF IN THE MOST SHITTY MANNER EVER.

Karen Jackson? GONE. Sheila Jackson? GONE. Mandy Milkovich? GONE. Mickey Milkovich, who had arguably one of the most beautiful character development arcs in television history? NAH FUCK IT, GONE. 

honestly. part of me is glad they didn’t have the time to fuck up mickey’s character the way they fucked up everyone else’s.

GOD I AM SO MAD.

I just re-watched the very first episode of Rebels.

I think I was even more excited than the first time I ever saw it because now all of these characters and their stories mean so much to me. <3 

Kanan’s so much more “okay” with his Jedi-ness than I remember. Maybe I’ve read A New Dawn too many times, but it totally looked like not only Hera, but the whole Ghost crew knew about it, which means that he came to terms with it enough to share his secret with all of them before the series began. His lightsaber skills were pretty basic in that fight on Kessel, which perfectly reflected how rusty he really was. When he gave Ezra the choice in the tower, I was wondering “Which Jedi master from his past is he totally pretending to be right now?” ‘Cause, c’mon guys, Kanan was a pretty crappy Jedi at this point.

Hera has the “super-rebel-mom” thing down already. She loves her crew, she loves her ship and she trusts the shit out of them. She stayed on the Ghost through all of their fights and didn’t once doubt them or herself. Also, watching her and Kanan’s interactions, I’m pretty sure that both she and he had Ezra pegged as a potential apprentice/new team member. Which makes me 100% sure that we’re missing a Kanan/Hera heart-to-heart at some point about if they’re ready to take this next step.

Chopper was slightly less cantankerous and violent than he has come to be. Otherwise still himself. Did I really expect character development in a droid? Maybe not so much, though he was on the Ghost’s guns for a good portion of the action.

Zeb is such a piece of work! Not only because of all of the death-threats he levels at Ezra, or because he was totally responsible for Ezra getting captured by Kallus and then leaving him the fuck behind, but because he genuinely has this skeezy, self-serving vibe. Seriously, I think the only nice things he did all episode were feed hungry people and carry a wounded Wookie over his shoulder. Not that these weren’t awesome things, but he honestly spent the entire rest of the time being as much of a jerk as possible.

Sabine, is her usual bad-ass self. When Ezra asked what happened to her family and she said, “The Empire,” all I could picture was her mom’s throne room and her mom and brother standing there all gray and disapproving. Poor girl really did lose her family! I also noticed how strong Sabine’s love of pyrotechnics was. I feel like that part of her personality and her artistic expressiveness have been overlooked a lot this past season. I miss the artistic explosions.

Ezra. Oh my God. This kid is the sassiest piece of fancy-haired gutter trash. Stealing from victims of police abuse? Abandoning teammates? Straight up theft? Eager to sell guns on the black market (granted, Kanan and Hera were doing that already)? And all the while Kanan and Hera are watching him like, “We know he has the Force, but is anything worthwhile going to show itself from underneath all of those self-serving survival instincts?” TOTALLY reminded me of Kanan in A New Dawn. When the shit hit the fan, the kid came through, but he was a little punk up until the very last minute. Thinking about Ezra in Zero Hour… I. AM. SO. PROUD. OF. HIM.

Pregnancy Meme

“When did you find out?”
“How far along are you?”
“Can you come to the appointment with me?”
“Do you need someone to go with you?”
“Do you know who the father is?”
“Of course I know who the father is!”
“You should be taking it easy.”
“Don’t strain yourself!”
“I’m pregnant, not made of porcelain!”
“Does he know?”
“I don’t know how to tell him.”
“I’m scared…”
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“I would’ve been there if I’d known!”
“I’m eating for two, remember?”
“Oh-! That was right in the ribs…”
“I can see him/her moving…”
“Do you wanna feel?”
“It’s actually pretty cool to watch…”
“It’s like a soccer game in there.”
“Actually, there’s two in there.”
“You’re having twins?!”
“Sit down, I’ll rub your back.”
“You’ve gotten so big!”
“What’d you do? Swallow a watermelon whole?”
“Oh wow, you haven’t had that baby yet?”
“I miss being able to see my feet.”
“If you could come out sometime soon, kid, that’d be great.”
“I look like a blimp.”

silver-lining-of-a-spotless-mind  asked:

What did you do to break so many bones?

Believe it or not (I don’t, I’m the laziest person on earth) I did a shit load of different sports growing up, inside and outside of school. Most of the injuries came from them, though the broken pinky was from having a waterfight in the backyard with my bro when we were little.

The most interesting break (in my opinion), the fractured-in-3-places-spine, was from something ridiculous though. I was in year 10 at school and we had gymnastics for PE, and one of the things we were doing was to jump off a mini trampoline, do a somersault and land on a huge blue mat. And I’d done it a few times, no problem except I was so fucking clumsy I barely managed the somersault, but then suddenly I try it again and before I hit the mat I’m screaming in pain.

Apparently I sounded like a dying cow, which was reassuring.

Anyway they call my mum and are like “your daughter’s had an accident, we’ve called an ambulance, you should come see her” and mum, being the tired mother of two kids who basically injured themselves on a weekly basis, replied “oh she’s just winded herself and is overreacting”. Which I realise is not all that relevant to your question but I always find that bit funny.

Because it turned out I’d fractured three vertebrae in my spine, and when the docs were all like “how did she fuck up her back so bad from a fucking somersault” they took more scans and x-rays and shit and we found out I’m missing a piece of bone in my lower spine that holds one of the vertebrae in place. So it slides out 9mm more than it’s supposed to. Like, every time I move.

But I got two weeks off school and the other students bought me not one but two teddies, so. It worked out well in the end.

A meeting of the Sans
  • sans1 has just created the room
  • sans2 has joined the room
  • sans1: hey sans.
  • sans2: hi sans.
  • sans1: any change over in your timeline?
  • sans2: eh. not really. the kid keeps botching his genocide run.
  • sans1: they still haven't given up on that, have they?
  • sans2: in a way. they always stop at my bro, thank god. speaking of, how is he on your end? you got a pacifist run, right?
  • sans1: yeah. he's studying for his permit. undyne is teaching him the ropes.
  • sans2: niiiiiice. what caught on fire this time?
  • sans3 has joined the room
  • sans1: nothing, but they did manage to destroy an old warehouse the other day. we've been told we're saving the city millions by letting them practice in destruction zones.
  • sans3: hey sans and sans. talking about papyrus?
  • sans1: hey, sans. yeah, post-pacifist and learning to drive from undyne.
  • sans3: nice. what caught on fire this time?
  • sans1: nothing.
  • sans3: really?
  • sans2: i know, i'm so proud of him.
  • sans3: hey sans. still on botched genocide?
  • sans2: yeah. hope the kid gives up soon, it's giving me a heart attack every time they approach papyrus.
  • sans3: yeah... god i miss him.
  • sans1: don't tell me. genocide?
  • sans3: the kid's taking a break from being dunked on.
  • sans2: how many times have you won?
  • sans3: 107. i know it's only a matter of time, but isn't that approaching the record?
  • sans1: dude, i think the record was 618.
  • sans4 has joined the room
  • sans3: oh man, really? so much for my record.
  • sans4: hey guys. dunking record?
  • sans3: yup. 107.
  • sans4: dude, nice.
  • sans3: oh, actually make that 108. brb
  • sans3 has left the room
  • sans2: christ how does he keep that up?
  • sans1: i hear the sanses in the genocide runs get numb a lot faster.
  • sans2: that's hard to believe for me. i still break into a cold sweat when my papyrus is facing the kid, and he always backs down in my timeline.
  • sans4: they're still at that?
  • sans2: yeah. can we move on to a lighter topic of conversation?
  • sans4: ah man sans, i didn't mean to rattle your bones or anything.
  • sans1: tibia honest, i didn't wanna make light of your situation.
  • sans2: heh. want me to pull papyrus in here? he'd hate this.
  • sans5 has joined the room
  • sans4: nah. he deserves a break every once in awhile.
  • sans5: hey guys. can't stay for long, about to head out. just wanted to check in.
  • sans1: hey sans. what's the rush?
  • sans5: date.
  • sans2: oooooooooh
  • sans1: oh oh oh oh
  • sans4: c'mon spill the beans man
  • sans5: heh, alright. post pacifist, toriel.
  • sans4: i can relate. i'm with toriel in my timeline, too.
  • sans5: how long?
  • sans4: about two years, now. first date on your end?
  • sans5: that obvious?
  • sans4: i can't even see you and i can tell you're rattling your bones.
  • sans2: wait, who's toriel?
  • sans1: the lady behind the door.
  • sans1: let's focus on what's important right now. namely, embarrassing sans before he goes on his first date.
  • sans5: wait. what.
  • sans4: i agree totally. hey sans, toriel really likes touching the rib cage. just saying.
  • sans5: oh
  • sans4: and watch it, she's a cuddler. like, you've seen how she hugs frisk? just wait until she gets her paws on you. like being wrapped in a thick, furry blanket.
  • sans5: oooooooooh
  • sans4: and if it goes well, she has this really cute dress that
  • sans5: i came here to have a good time and i'm honestly feeling so attacked right now
  • sans2: guys if i laugh any harder i'll wake papyrus up
  • sans4: alright alright. seriously though, she prefers white wine, she'll expect a kiss at the end but she'll be fine if you're too flustered, and avoid talking about asgore, unless you immediately turn it into a pun. her favorite is the "my aim is getting better" one. if she's comfortable enough to initiate that herself, you're golden. that help?
  • sans5: yeah. thanks.
  • sans4: also, she has this sweet spot right at her thigh. she'll make this adorable bleating/giggle and you know you've got the right spot.
  • sans5: okay wow it looks like time i should go
  • sans5 has left the room
  • sans4: he'll be fine.
  • sans1: so toriel, huh? weird.
  • sans4: why's that?
  • sans1: honestly, i can't see myself with anyone but mettaton.
  • sans4: oh my god, mettaton?
  • sans2: dude. dude. whoa.
  • sans1: what? what's wrong with that?
  • sans4: my papyrus is dating mettaton in my timeline.
  • sans1: your papyrus is in a relationship? mine's aro.
  • sans2: and meanwhile i'm sitting in a timeline where papyrus just has a huge crush on the rectangle.
  • sans6 has joined the room
  • sans1: that's just... bizarre.
  • sans2: and chatting with parallel timeline versions of yourself isn't?
  • sans1: point taken.
  • sans6: hey guys. what's up?
  • sans4: quick, who are you in a relationship with?
  • sans6: uh... gaster?
  • sans2: ...
  • sans4: uh, ew.
  • sans1: whoa.
  • sans6: hey man, don't kinkshame me bro.
  • sans4: dude, he's my dad in my timeline?
  • sans6: your dad? freaky.
  • sans2: oh you poor soul. he was just my lab partner in my timeline.
  • sans1: it's... weird for me.
  • sans4: okay, i'm really curious. how weird?
  • sans1: well, "gaster" is actually the name me and pap used to call ourselves before he split into us two.
  • sans6: oh yeah, i've met a sans like that.
  • sans2: i sure haven't. when does he get on?
  • sans6: time is relative, but i think early morning?
  • sans2: ah. that explains it.
  • sans4: yeah, the only reason i get out of bed in the mornings is because toriel practically drags me out on my feet.
  • sans2: papyrus does the same for me.
  • sans6: so... wait. does this mean, from a multiversal sense, i'm engaging in both incest and selfcest?
  • sans1: hey, this is a judgement free zone dude.
  • sans3 has joined the room
  • sans4: you're the one who said not to kinkshame you.
  • sans3: back. 108 now. man i walked into a weird conversation.
  • sans2: c'mon sans, we've had weirder.
  • sans6: wait, 108 what?
  • sans4: speak for yourself. i'm getting weird mental images with me and gaster, now.
  • sans3: dunks. end of genocide route.
  • sans2: hey, remember when amalgamate sans entered the chat?
  • sans4: okay, i'll admit that was weirder.
  • sans6: and really sad. i think that was the only time alphys ever joined the chat.
  • sans1: yeah. i wonder how they're doing?
  • sans6: amalgamate sans or alphys?
  • sans1: both.
  • Core Frisk has joined the room
  • sans6: well hopefully
  • sans2: wait who's this?
  • sans1: frisk? wait, what?
  • sans4: oh, hey frisk.
  • Core Frisk: Hello Sanses. Sorry, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?
  • sans6: uh. hey kid. this is a little hard to explain, but
  • Core Frisk: Don't bother. I'm not your Frisk, anyway.
  • sans4: yeah, he's a frisk that fell into the core and now he's kinda omniscient.
  • sans1: wait, what?
  • sans3: whoa.
  • sans6: and gaster was worried about nearly falling into the core.
  • sans1: he had every right to be.
  • Core Frisk: I just wanted to pop in and saying the particular sans amalgamate you were talking about a moment ago is doing fine, in a manner of speaking. He insists that he's happy so long as Papyrus is with him.
  • sans1: that's a relief, i guess.
  • Core Frisk: Oh, and Sans? The one who's been married to Toriel for two years?
  • sans4: yeah?
  • Core Frisk: Just a heads up, sans' first date went fine, but he's plotting a revenge prank on you.
  • sans4: wow kid, that's real cool of you to let me know.
  • Core Frisk: Don't thank me. He asked me to pull the prank myself. Undyne is going to be hunting for you to get her eyepatches back.
  • sans4: what.
  • Core Frisk: if you start running now, you may just get a head-start! :-)
  • sans4: ...
  • sans4 has left the room
  • sans3: that was ice cold, kid.
  • sans6: and amazing. teach me your ways, o master of pranks.
  • Core Frisk: Aw, well I did learn from the best. Namely, you. You're gonna teach me that one in a few months when I visit you.
  • sans6: niiiiiice.
  • sans2: hey, kid? you know all possibilities across all the timelines, right?
  • Core Frisk: Yes. Your Frisk will finally quit at the King Papyrus ending. It'll be lonely for him, but so long as you're with him, he'll be fine. You're a great second-hand man and an even better brother.
  • sans2: ...i gotta run, guys. i, uh... i gotta tell my bro i love him.
  • sans2 has left the room
  • sans3: oh, same here. kid's back for more. don't tell me if i end up beating the record, i wanna find out for myself.
  • sans3 has left the room
  • sans1: ...so, does he?
  • Core Frisk: Where would the fun be if I told you that?
  • sans1: fair enough. alright, i'd better head out. i need to go read papyrus his bedtime story.
  • sans6: and then have fun times with mettaton?
  • sans1: i'm ace.
  • sans6: oh.
  • sans1: ...i don't want to know what you do with gaster, do I?
  • Core Frisk: No, you really don't.
  • sans1: heh. alright, goodnight frisk. goodnight sans.
  • Core Frisk: Night, Sans!
  • sans6: night sans
  • sans1 has left the room
  • sans6 has left the room
  • sans7 has joined the room
  • sans7: i missed the chat again, didn't i?
  • Core Frisk: Yeah. Outertale, right?
  • sans7: ?
  • Core Frisk: Space?
  • sans7: oh. yeah. why?
  • Core Frisk: Well... I've always wanted to try out a jetpack.
  • sans7: you can jump across timelines, right?
  • Core Frisk: You HAVE met me, haven't you?
  • Core Frisk: That was a rhetorical question. I know that you've met me. Omniscient and all.
  • sans7: heh. get over here, i'll grab a pack for you.
  • Core Frisk: =D
  • Core Frisk has left the room
  • sans7 has left the room
Mermaid - Clint Barton x (f)Reader

Originally posted by arlothia

Words: 1251
Pairing: Clint Barton X (f)Reader (mostly platonic)
Featuring: Natasha Romanoff
Warnings: none??
Requested by @deansinkdbitch
Are you still taking requests? I have this idea for a Clint imagine. "Reader is a fellow archer who uses the SHIELD training facility. Always crushed on Clint and vide versa, but one day Clint find out your unusual cool down/workout regime of swimming in a pool using a mermaid tail” or something relating to Clint finding out you’re a part time professional mermaid" it sounds weird but I really want this crossover lol!
Authors Note: soooo I know mermaids can be guys too but just for this specific imagine it worked better with a female since I mentioned some things that is mainly used for females…yeah, sorry:/ BUT GUYS, IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN A PROFESSIONAL MERMAID I HIGHLY RECOMMEND LOOKING A VIDEO UP THEH ARE SO COOL. (I also really loved writing this.)

Masterlist.


He was easily your best friend. You guys had the same interests, made the same (stupid) jokes, and always seemed to know when to help, but not pry. It just worked out.

You and Clint were pretty competitive with one another, considering you both were really good with the bow. And sure, maybe the reason you decided to become friends with him was that you crushed on him, and he on you, but no one needed to know that.

Even though you said that you two told each other everything, you still had a few secrets. One being the crush, and the other being your part time, professional, job.

Sure, since being part Avenger, it was harder to find time to do your favorite hobby, but every once in a while you were able to squeeze it in. Whether you had the facility to almost yourself, or if you were able to sneak away for a few days to fill time spots- it didn’t matter. No one new about it, and that was good- it was your secret getaway.

”(Y/N), I have to show you this thing Natasha showed me!“ Clint ran into your room, and jumped to your laptop, pulling open YouTube.

Professional Mermaid.

You laughed at what he typed in. "Clint, mermaids aren’t real.”

“Yes, they are! Just, look at this!” He was so excited, and you were beginning to worry.

Keep reading

Flirt with me

Pairing: Phan (AmazingPhil x danisnotonfire)

Genre: Fluff? Fluff.

Warnings: I don’t think there are any???

Words: Approx. 2.5 k

Summary: In which Phil is really shit at flirting and asks Dan for advice

A/N: Guess who’s back, back again, I’m back, tell a friend (i’ve been away for like 2 weeks chillax @me) ((also, another high school au??? who would have guessed))

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

(re: Misha's reaction to the possibility of another kid) I remember that. I don't think he meant it like "ugh no, DO NOT WANT". I was more like "oh shit, we never talked about THREE". Also maybe he's become a bit broody since so many people around him have brand new babies? and how many times in the past year has he told that story about telling Maison "I want you to stay little forever!" (and her replying "no! I'm gonna grow up and I'm gonna die!") Maybe he missing having a baby to go home to?

I know but he already grieves not being able to be around his kids more and is already SO BUSY. They may be having another baby, who knows. I kinda think he’d freak out a bit, and Vicki is so private, there’s honestly no idea what’s going on their, but hey, their life, their choices, I’m happy either way.

(Send me an Ask)

anonymous asked:

How would the skating world react to Yuuri being alive after being gone for 15 years with 4 kids?

Oh I think the fact it blows up so big is the reason that Georgi never comes after him or the kids. Georgi doesn’t quite have the balls and guts to do what Viktor did with all the attention surrounding them. I think it would be like a big homecoming even if it has been so long. There must have still been young Japanese kids that still looked up to Yuuri growing up even if he was still missing.

How hard is it?

Once I was babysitting a little boy and the boy asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said “no but I have a girlfriend!” And he said “like a friend that’s a girl?” And I said “no like a boyfriend but they’re a girl instead of a boy! We still do couple things but we’re both girls” and he said, without missing a beat, “oh okay! Are you going to marry her?”

It’s literally that easy for kids to understand

Congratulations homophobes for being worse than a 6-year-old boy

headcanons for larissa duan
  • sometimes she misses her long hair. usually when she’s combing through it after a shower. (have you ever went from long hair to short hair? its awkward to brush after you get it cut)
  • she likes to listen to classical music sometimes
  • she has 3 pairs of bunny slippers
  • she loves flower crowns but she doesn’t like wearing them
  • she wants to paint the whole team together but she always worries it won’t be good enough
  • she thinks Chowder is ridiculous but she loves him and is actually very excited to be bathroom buddies
  • she straight up was about to murder Shitty when he accidentally ate all of the pie Bitty made her 
  • she’s drawn on at least 4 members of the team while they were passed out. her drawings ranged from beautiful masterpieces to crudely drawn dicks jizzing
  • one time she was dared to eat 2 big spoonful’s of sriracha and that was not a fun time. (she didn’t like that she couldn’t put like bread with it or something she hates just eating a condiment by itself)
  • sometimes she loves when the guys use her to bench press because its just a fun feeling but other times she’s plotting their demise. depends on the day.
  • when she’s on her period she spends as long as she can in the shower. being on her period is awful she hates how unclean she feels (poor Lardo sweats)
        • one time she had to text Chowder to get her more products but he panicked and bought like 1 of every tampon brand the store had in the size she needed. 
        • (Chowder looked ridiculous with a cart full of tampons and holding five sticks of butter)
        • Lardo thought it was kinda sweet and ended up using all the boxes that weren’t her brand in her next art piece.
  • sometimes she walks into Bitty’s room to flop on his bed and make dying noises. if he’s busy she does it to Chowder. it scares him.
  • she is the texting queen. She can text and not need to look at her phone while she does so and there’s no typos or anything.
  • sometimes she wants to finger paint like a little kid but she has to wear gloves. can’t fuck up her good nail polish, she’s almost out of it
  • she has one area on her wall that’s dedicated to her drawing on it. 
  • sometimes her favorite thing to do is just sit on her bed, close her eyes and breathe for a while.
  • she’s so in love with Shitty it hurts
  • she knows Shitty loves her and it hurts
  • she can see her and Shitty getting married and having a cute little house and Shitty being a stay-at-home-dad to their 3 dogs (and maybe some kids down the road??) while she goes out to work and paint 
  • God, she fuckin misses Shitty
  • she remembers the last time they got high together, at the end when it was wearing off Shitty had muttered quietly, “I want to marry you,” and her only response was silence. she remembers when Shitty tried to play it off, asked her if she thinks Jack would marry him, oh, or maybe Bitty? He could be his sugar daddy, Lards.
  • she remembers how she wanted nothing more than to turn around and kiss him senseless
  • she remembers how she hasn’t had a solid conversation with Shitty since he started at Harvard.

  • she remembers how he once came over to the Haus, bags under his eyes and climbed into her bed, slurring his words and yawning every three seconds. a little ziploc sandwich baggie clutched in his hands.



  • she remembers waking up that morning, no Shitty, no note, but a thin band circling her ring finger.
  • she remembers giggling as she sent a pic to the group chat, the old one, with no new frogs and Shitty and Jack in it. she also remembers the squeal she heard from the kitchen and the thundering feet of her teammates as they all fought their way up the stairs.