oh how i love being home alone

Alpha/Beta/Omega sentence meme!

Feel free to add your own!

  • “Have you ever wondered what it’d be like to be an (alpha/beta/omega) instead of an (alpha/beta/omega)?”
  • “What’s it like? Going through (heat/rut)?”
  • “I think the world would be a better place if we didn’t have alphas or omegas- imagine, everyone as a beta!”
  • “I said no!”
  • “I don’t understand how people can cheat once they’re mated- everyone else smells wrong.”
  • “I know we didn’t get off to the best start, but I want to try again; I want to court you, please? Or at least be friends! I don’t care that you’re an (alpha/beta/omega), I want to know you.”
  • “I’m tired of dealing with my (heat/rut) alone, could you please help me?”
  • “I like it when you get jealous/possessive/protective~”
  • “You know… Next time we have sex… I wouldn’t mind being bitten, we’re practically mates anyway right?”
  • “Did you bite me?!”
  • “I have goals in life and I’m not going to let being an (alpha/beta/omega) slow me down!”
  • “Some days I just want to say ‘fuck biology’ and settle down with a Beta, less drama with them y’know?”
  • “So I’m not an (alpha/beta/omega), that doesn’t mean we can’t be together!”
  • “Wow you smell really good today; new perfume/cologne?
  • “If potential mates can’t handle the fact that we smell like each other because we’re friends then they aren’t worthy mates.”
  • “Remember those sleepovers we had when we were younger, and we’d whisper about what we thought we’d present as, tease each other about what we thought our mates would be like… We should do that again, we’ve got lots more to whisper about now.”
  • “Omega’s aren’t slaves and they’re not porcelain dolls!”
  • “Not all alpha’s are controlling egotistical assholes!”
  • “The next alpha to look at me like I’m a piece of meat is going to get my foot up their ass.”
  • “I’m sorry if I freaked you out, I didn’t like the way that (alpha/beta/omega) was looking at you- it creeped me out and I didn’t know if you felt comfortable around them.”
  • “I don’t care if you do or don’t have a knot, I’m not interested in sex with anyone.”
  • “You DO realize I’m aromantic, right? I don’t want a mate.”
  • “Oh gods, did your heat just start?”
  • “I love how submissive/dominant you are.”
  • “Can we just cuddle tonight? I want more than just sex with you.”
  • “Slick tastes really gross, does it taste better to alpha’s/omega’s?”
  • “Knots sound so scary, are they really worth all the hype…?”
  • “If you had kids one day what do you hope they’ll be?”
  • “Can you walk me to my car please/walk me home? I get nervous being alone at night…”
  • “I want you as my mate.”
  • “What do I have to do to make her/him/them realize I want her/him/them to claim me?!”
  • “I still want a wedding.”
  • “You’re the only (alpha/beta/omega) I trust with this…”
Not All Roads Lead Home

Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: Angst

A/N: I pulled this from an incredibly personal place. I admit it was a struggle to write that included having to stop and take deep breaths at times. It left me drained and not being able to even come up with a summary for which I apologize. It was something I desperately needed to write and I am happy to be able to have this out. I hope you enjoy it.

Keep reading

Got7 | Rumours

Genre: angst and fluff

Pairing: reader x jinyoung

Word count: 1,250

AN: This was fun to write sorry it took a while! Enjoy! | Requests open

-

“Crap!” you yelled as you sat up on the sofa. Your boyfriend Jinyoung was away at an award ceremony tonight and you’d promised to watch him but you’d fallen asleep and just woken up. It must be almost over by now and he’d surely already received his award. Usually, you watched the award ceremonies live from your apartment because the two of you hadn’t gone public yet so he couldn’t get you a seat at any of the tables for fear of raising suspicion. You’d had a long shift at work all day and had barely managed to get home in time to watch the ceremony but evidently, the day had taken its toll on you and you fell asleep not long after getting home.

You turned on the television to the channel that the award ceremony was being aired on to see if there was anything left or even a slight chance of a recap at the end but as soon as the channel came on, you saw the two MCs for the night signing off and the adverts starting to play afterwards.

“Nice one Y/n.” you sighed to yourself. Leaning back on the sofa in defeat, you noticed your phone on the side. Got7 were a highly popular group so surely there’d be clips of them receiving their award online by now and you could watch it before Jinyoung returned home. You assumed he and the other members would go out for some beef or a drink or two to celebrate before coming home.

You opened up Youtube on your phone and searched for this years award ceremony and surely enough there it was, the whole thing put online not more than ten minutes ago. Clicking on the video you skipped forward to the music section of the awards and watched from there. There were a couple of groups you recognised receiving awards. Astro got the rookie award and a group you liked, Seventeen, performed their latest song. Next came the solo singers. The award for female singers went to a fairly new idol called Minseo. She wore a shortish red dress and black heels and you noticed how pretty she was when she gave her acceptance speech.  As she came off the stage to return to her seat, she walked over to Got7’s table rather than returning to her own and threw her arms around Jinyoung’s shoulders bringing him in to a hug. He hugged her back for a few seconds before smiling at her and only walked away when Got7 were asked to go up on stage for their own award. Okay, you thought. They probably just know each other from work. She probably works for JYP, you told yourself. Though there was something about the way she smiled at him that told you otherwise.

Brushing it off, you watched the rest of the video and then scrolled down to the comments to read what people thought as you did with most videos Got7 were in. You loved seeing the kind things fans wrote about them especially Jinyoung as it reminded you just how lucky you were to have such a talented boyfriend. You started reading the comments about how talented Got7 were and how much they deserved the award they received and you were sat there smiling like a fool until you read one comment that had lots of likes and replies and it made you stop in your tracks.

“OMG did you see how Minseo looked at Jr!! They would be such a cute couple.”

You looked at the replies and felt your heart sink.

“I swear they’re already dating?”

“Okay but did you see the video of Minseo where she describes her ideal man, it’s basically Jinyoung in a nutshell!”

“MINYOUNG!!!” This particular comment had over one hundred likes and you put your phone down close to tears. Was Jinyoung cheating on you? What if JYP had set them up for publicity and he hadn’t told you? Picking up your phone once more you opened safari and before you knew it, you were searching “Minyoung dating rumours” and burst into tears at the things you saw. All kinds of interviews and photos of the two together but he’d never mentioned her to you before. Why was he keeping her friendship or whatever was between them a secret from you? You couldn’t stay in the apartment any longer. You were too confused and upset to be able to face Jinyoung when he came home and you didn’t want to ruin his mood when he came home to see you.

You sent a text to your best friend telling her that you were going to come round and that you’d explain when you got there. She was the only one who knew about you and Jinyoung and you trusted her completely. She’d also met Jinyoung and the other boys before so you knew they all got on well. She told you that was okay and as soon as you received her reply, you shot out of the apartment and went to her house.

-

Once you’d explained to your friend what was going on, she reassured you Jinyoung must love you because stringing you along and not being able to tell people about your relationship literally offered no benefit to him other than your company so it’d be dumb for him to do something like that. She also reminded you about how the media these days fed off of any rumour they could and would often blow things completely out of proportion. You felt reassured by her words but then felt overcome with guilt at the thought of Jinyoung alone at home probably worrying out of mind.

“Oh my god, I need to go find Jinyoung. He has no idea where I am.”

“Don’t worry he’s on his way now.” Your friend said putting her phone on the side. You looked at her questioningly. “Well, a while back, Mark gave me his number and I texted him ages ago to tell Jinyoung that if he was worrying that you were here so he wouldn’t panic. You know what those boys are like and oh god could you imagine Youngjae if he thought you were missing” she laughed.

“Wait so Jinyoung’s coming over now?”

“Yeah all of the boys are, I texted Mark to bring Jinyoung down once I’d talked some sense into you.”

You were about to thank her when you heard a knock at the door and she left to open it. You took in a deep breath as seven rowdy boys joined the two of you in the living room. You silently walked over to Jinyoung where he stood looking almost nervous.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, the crazy dating rumours between you and Minseo just got to me a little.” You said feeling foolish.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve explained sooner… I don’t like her that much by the way she’s actually kind of annoying but I can’t exactly reject her in front of the cameras.” he chuckled.

“No it’s fine please. Don’t worry let’s just focus on celebrating your award.” You smiled. “I’m so proud of you.” You said hugging him tightly. He hugged you back even tighter before whispering I love you into you ear.

“Okay once you two are done being gross, we should go party! You up for it y/n?”

“Count me in!” you smiled taking hold of Jinyoung’s hand and feeling him squeeze it slightly. “Let’s go!”

Just; C.H. 4

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

“What the fuck is wrong with my head?” I groan loudly, slapping one of the fluffy sofa pillows over my head to evade the incoming sunlight. I hear a dry groan to my right and I know Sarah is experiencing the same difficulties as I am, probably hangover and regretting earlier life choices. 

“Come on it can’t be that bad.” Sherilyn chirps happily and I want to throw my phone at her face, hopefully breaking her nose. 

“You puked your guts out last night, of course you feel fine.” Sarah barks back and immediately after groans loudly. After I had tumbled asleep last night, Sarah and I had been alternating about getting up to hold Sherilyn’s hair while she puked her guts out. The first time I joined in, not standing the sound she made as she tried to get the gin tonic out of her system, desperately.

“I’m going to die, I’m sure of it.” I laugh dryly, turning onto my back and throwing my arm over my closed eyes. “Water and aspirin.” Sherilyn nudges me and I slide the pill past my lips and sit up long enough to swallow a bit of water to get it down smoothly before dropping back onto the sofa softly, eyes squeezed closed tiredly as I listen to my shallow breathing.

“Could you give me a ride home? I really want a shower.” Sherilyn wearily asks as I feel the sofa dent near my head, her small hand landing on my hair to tangle the knots out. “Shower here and leave me the fuck alone.” I groan loudly, slapping her leg with my right hand and trying to push her away without moving another inch. Of course she’d want a ride home. Of course she had to pester me about it, even though Sarah was perfectly capable of getting Sherilyn home, seeing as how she’d have to leave eventually.

“I want my strawberry shampoo. Come on, I’ll buy you breakfast.” I know for a fact that bacon and eggs will cure this amazing hangover. I contemplate it for just a few seconds, groaning loudly as I turn on my side, slowly opening my eyes again.

“You won me over. Let’s go. I’m going to change.” I push myself up with my hands, crawling out of the sofa and waddling upstairs for a change of shirt. My hair is up into a messy bun on top of my head and a pair of sunglasses is in my back pocket to shield my sore eyes from the sunlight. 

“You look like shit.” Sarah laughs. “Oh looks who decided to show the living all of a sudden.” I smirk and am quick to dodge the pillow that is swung my way. “You coming?” I question as I grab my car keys from the bowl, Sherilyn already by the door, looking like she’s about to perform the walk of shame in her dress and her hair unruly sticking in every possible direction.
“Nah, heading home for a nap.”

I follow Sherilyn out of the door and stop in my tracks to hiss once from the harsh sunlight. “Don’t act like you’re a vampire. You’ll live.” Sherilyn chuckles and I groan loudly, shuffling tiredly towards my battered car. I miss the times when I was younger when I would never get a headache after a night of heavy drinking, or where my stomach wouldn’t be upset at all. But those are bygone era.

 
“Oh stop here. They have great pancakes.” Sher points to a little diner on our left, seeming almost deserted. My kind of place. Especially now that I feel like a sumo wrestler has been dancing the Macarena on my back all night.
I make a sharp turn and roughly step on the breaks, Sherilyn groaning as she roughly is spiralled forwards but gets pulled back by the seat belt.
“That’s for waking me at shit dawn.” I laugh and kill the engine, already getting out of the car before she replies. “It’s almost eleven!”

“We’re in college, that is fucking early.” I laugh as I push the glass door open, the little bell above me chiming its shrill noise making me wince. “That’s for being mean to me.” She points her finger accusingly in my face, evil grin masking her normal cute features before skipping over to one of the booths near the window. It’s eerily quiet and then my gaze meets his. Calum and his posse of three are on the other side, eyeing us while they pick at their meals.

I take my sunglasses off, wandering after Sher after awkward eye contact with Calum. I was still rather disappointed by his actions from yesterday. I somewhat was into a one night stand to celebrate ending another year of college. I would never think it would be with someone like Calum, but it seemed as if I had a chance last night. I slide into the booth, resting my head on the plush red cushioning while letting out a tiny grunt. “Not a great start of the summer.” I breathe out, crossing my arms over my chest as I listen to Sherilyn scoff.

“I thought that party was rather dashing.” I shriek and immediately my hands fly to my temples to rub them, glaring at Ashton who was now leaning beside my head. “Hi to you too Ashton. So great to see you again this fine morning.” I huff out, I know deep down I should grant him a smile but his unexpected voice in my ear, followed by my shriek, gave me a new sense of headache all together. I glare at him as I turn my body to his lounging frame.
“Auwtch, Y/n. That hurt my tiny feelings.” Ashton smirks as he lays his hand over his heart, winking before turning to my friend in front of me.

“Sherilyn, lovely to see you again. How are you?” I think he swoons her off of her feet when I hear the tiny giggle and see the blush creeps onto her cheeks. “Yo Y/n, see you found your friend.” Michael appears besides me, beaming brightly at the both of us.
“Yeah, thanks for that.”
“I wondered what happened after.” I sit up more straight and turn to Michael for an easier conversation.

“Oh we went home. Hangover is being a bitch.” I laugh, both boys laughing alone as well before we’re interrupted. “You done? We have shit to do.” Calum appears now, sunglasses resting on his nose and a scowl on his lips.
I raise my eyebrows, my lips set into a thin line as I see Ash and Michael raise to their feet warily. “I’ll see you around, Y/n.” Ashton squeezes my shoulder and heads off, Luke and Michael following closely behind but Calum seems to linger for a tad longer.

I can’t see his eyes due to the sunglasses but I see the smile he grants my way and his teeth sinking into his plump bottom lips before he turns, his fingers threading through his unruly locks. He disappears through the door and my eyes follow him for as long as possible before I turn to a wide eyed Sherilyn. Why is he such an attractive human specimen whom I have had the pleasure to meet? Why do I want him this bad? If I had never spoken a word to him, it would’ve just been one of those silent crushes where you swoon from a decent distance.
“What was that about?”

“That was nothing. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me. I understand my brain shutting off during an exam but this is shit to a whole new level.” I groan loudly, smiling at the waitress who places a cup of coffee in front of me, both Sher and I ordering bacon and eggs to cure our hangover.

“You’re crushing on Calum, aren’t you?” I roll my eyes as I bring the hot cup to my lips, blowing steadily to get the surface to cool. “I thought you knew that, with all the teasing lately.” Sherilyn’s eyes widen before she shakes her head rapidly, her fingers clutching the side of the table. “We were only joking, because, well yeah. I didn’t know you actually liked him!” I shush her almost immediately, my hands waving in front of her face to shut her up.

“Nobody has to know Sher, please keep it down. It doesn’t matter, Calum isn’t the dating type, I am not the dating type, he has enough busty blondes for his one nighters.” Now it’s time for Sherilyn to roll her eyes at my words, her own hands curling around her blood hot cup. “You dated, remember Sam?”
“Well, do you think Calum would be the right guy for me to date?” I raise an eyebrow and I can’t contain my smirk when I see Sherilyn’s smug grin disappear into a frown where her lips are in a thin line as she tries to form a decent response in her head.

“Uh – I don’t know. Probably not. Doesn’t mean you can’t try and find out. Who knows.” I smile and grin even brighter when I see the waitress approach with my food, immediately taking a bite off of a strip of bacon as soon as it’s placed in front of me.
“I really love your naivety Sher. But please, keep this between us for now?”

Part 5

Random Girl (Mature)

note; this imagine does not contain sex scene. however, i have marked the following write up as mature, because it contains sexual consent and involves detailed descriptions of the intercourse itself and other actions that might be considered sexual.


Friday evening. Normally, that was the time when I would get myself ready to go out; clubbing excursion or a house party, maybe even hosted by myself? Who knew. But, oh well, no. Instead I was sat down on a brownish chair in Subway placed at local high street, for what felt like forever now. My not so warm anymore, twelve inch sandwich was placed in front of me as I miserably tried to finish piece of bread for the past half an hour.

I was just after my basketball practice, still in my formal team kit, contemplating about everything and nothing at the same. I could of easily go out with my best friends, but I did not feel like it. I was just really lazy that evening. The truth was, college itself was a nark, trust me, another hour and a half of physical education a.k.a my love named ball, added to my timetable was a nightmare, therefore partying would of get me killed, I believed. So, here I was. Completely alone in a fast-food store, even workers have hidden somewhere, seeing that they most likely won’t be operating any more customers for the following day. I guess people really did go out, like they were suppose to and I was simply a loser. Oh, well.

‘Can you just shut up, Brad? I am honestly sick of you and the things you always say to me. Can’t you just try and stay calm when you want to conversate with me?’ A gentle and at the same time firm voice (if that even make sense to other people, because for me, sure it did) has reached my hearing, making me wake up from whatever little stage I was oddly going through.

I winked a few times, just to get to my own tiredness, turned my head slightly to right, where the sound came from. My glimpse was stuck on a female that have now appeared in the restaurant, so myself was not utterly solo. It was rude to stare. I know. However, out of categorical boredom, this observation made by myself had to be forgiven, I studied.

Her body looked perfectly in them high waisted, dark blue jeans, with a basic, red crop top, showing off her beautiful stomach. I scrolled down, to the pair of white Nike Huaraches, and a golden ankle bracelet, which looked like one I owned myself, that was currently elegantly sat on my wrist. After finishing admiring her outfit, my vision moved onto the top part of her body. I liked her hair, let go freely and naturally. I liked how they looked careless and just were there, without extra effort, for some reason, I enjoyed it.

For me, it felt like ages, waiting for a mysterious girl to show me her face, my fingers tapping on the table. She was calmly standing in front of the counter, just doing what she came her to do.

But she did turn my way, eventually. And it fucking hit. Lust took over my sight, palms all wet as my mouth has almost let a loud moan out, but thankfully strong pressure of teeth on my tongue has paused this action. Damn. Fuck. O-Oh my God. I swallowed hardly, as my jaw clenched, looking at the girl on my right has stopped me in time. Whoever she was, she was just…wow.

Her feet was tapping on the floor, as her nicely shaped fingers with long, red painted fingernails did the same on the work surface. In the other hand, that was placed next to her ear, she was holding a mobile phone. I could tell that she was mad, maybe even furious straight away. Not only by her inattentive, at that point, pose or her small gestures, that suggested her raging mood, but also, by her face expression. The way she chewed the inside of her cheek and blew the air through her nostrils, so intensively that even I could hear it. How her big, gorgeous eyes shut for a bit longer once in a while and her eyebrows wrinkled up, showing that a few more words would of leave her mouth if she was not trying to remain relaxed.

'Bradley, please, can’t we just leave it for till I come back home?’ A beauty said unexpectedly as she sighted deeply, putting a little, LV purse on the counter, getting a rectangle shaped wallet, when a blue card became visible to the surrounding and tapped onto machine to transfer the money. I don’t know who that Bradley dude is, but can he stop making you this upset? You look unhappy, that face deserves a big, big smile.

I was a cloud of thoughts at this point. I mean, this girl. This girl made my heart skip a beat. This girl made me look over at her twice and I am rudely staring ever since. This girl is the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced in my life and all I am doing is looking in her direction. This girl made me shiver, shake, dribble and all sort of things. This girl made my dick hard. And she has not even done anything.

Shit. I’m fucking sick.

'I’m just…I’m just tired of this bullshit-’ She stated which made some kind of unusual feeling go through my stomach. I like the way she says those…those 'curse words’…fuck, why does this turns me on?

'Don’t you think I deserve to be treated just a bit better?’ I licked my lips, watching as she sat down, placing her hands on the table. She wasn’t looking at me. I don’t think she even acknowledged my presence. I did not mind through. This gave me a free hand to look at her and monitor her precious body from the side. And, um, babygirl you do deserve better. 

In fact, I can do you be-…fuck, I so do wanna do you. In many, many ways. Soft, hard, senseless, passionate. All that. I can do it all so fucking nice, you won’t ever get the imagine of my face off your brain.

'Does it give you any sort of, um, comfort to make me feel like shit?’ Her voice raised just a bit as her fist closed into a tight ball alike shape. 

Fuck. Fucking shit. That, this, babygirl. Where should I start with? I can give you so much comfort. So, so, so much of it. I can make you feel so fucking special. So fucking good. And what the fuck? How dare he do you like this? You do deserve all the appreciation and love going. Can I beat the fuck out of him? swear to God, I can finish him off, this angers me, you know? He fucking angers me. I know I don’t know him, but do I look like I give a fuck?

I would probably say so much more to myself (because, I could truly see myself going on) but a small cough leaving her mouth woke me up. I looked down on myself, as I felt uncomfortable around my private area, in my shorts. A silent curse word left my mouth as a massive bulge became visible to myself. My hand reached for a sandwich as I bite a big piece, hoping this can bring me to reality, at least in the smallest percentage.

I could not understand this whole, sudden sensation. In my lifetime, I have had so many girls. So many beautiful women doing crazy things just to pleasure me. And then this happens?

When you get drunk, if you can recall ever feeling this way, you get that sensitive, exultant feeling all over your skin? That’s how it feels down there. Prickling on the back of my neck and base of my spine. My dick going all crazy and hard. Ugh, it is so fucking difficult to describe. But this feeling, the feeling of arousal, that hits it. Especially on the top. And my balls. Yeah, over there. It’s insane. A man just always feel so weak and vulnerable in those moments. You cannot even understand. If me begging her for sex would work, bro I would of do that gladly.

'I do love you, you know that. You are my best friend since we were little, but c'mon. You go crazy everytime you, you know, snort it. I just, I cannot cooperate with you anymore.’ A quit voice have, once again, hit my ears, therefore (obviously), I could not just ignore it. I wouldn’t want to. I had to investigate her words in my head once again. 

So, that Bradley dude of yours, yeah? He is not your little boy toy, right? Okay, fair enough. That is good. This satisfies me. But, what is he doing? I don’t understand. Is he being aggressive when he does cocaine? Meth? Oh, shit, heroin? Going that hard with that junk? But, anyways, if I could just help you out, trust me, I would. I just think he doesn’t care, that’s why he does what he does. And in that case, there is very little you can do. But I could help. I mean, I could try, don’t you think?

'Yeah, I don’t even know anymore. I’m just in Subway and I’m going back to my place. If you want to come over, do that. No one is at home and I hate being alone. And Juliet is gone for the weekend, so you are my only hope. The girls went out partying, and-’ Was all that I could hear (and all I paid attention to) before her body stood up, her hand taking all of belonging with herself. 

Guess who wants to come over? Justin wanna come over, love. In fact, I would make you feel better. You wouldn’t be lonely. Trust me, I know how to make little ones like you scream. Oh, how would I love to be able to do that all to you. Fuck you like a slut. Whore. Fuck you senseless. Make you beg for my cock when I stop penetrating you just to make you eager. Finger you just to tease you and prepare you for my huge length. Make you squirt all over my face when I eat you up. You would feel the things you never even dreamed of experiencing. I’m so fucking good, babygirl. I would fuck you up. I could make your pussy cum so many time, you would not be able to remember your own fucking name…God, I am definitely sick.

I sighted, not happy at the fact she will soon be gone and I will have nothing pleasant to look at. My eyes rolled with annoyance, fixing myself on the chair as I made a slight sound with the legs of the furniture I was sat on, which caused a beauty to look over at me. My mouth dropped down in shock, staring at her two eyeballs. Her eyes, my God.  They were so beautiful. So bright, so adorable. So pure. I cannot believe I am disrespecting that cute self with my dirty thought. She is so clueless.

Little gorgeous sent me a beautiful, soft smile which I responded to with exact same thing and came back to my food just for a second, so she wouldn’t find me specious. But, my eyes did come back on her, watching that goodly butt, as she made her way out, moving her hips in the rhythm. 

Oh, what would I do to that pretty bum of yours, babygirl. Do you like being spanked? Well, it doesn’t really matter anyway, 'cuz I will make you like it. Mmm, what about slapping that beautiful ass as I fuck the life out of you? It will get a bit rough, but you will like it. I don’t know what you are really like, what makes you go crazy, but me will make you naughty. And needy. So you can need me like I need you. Corners of my lips have moved up, showing a little smirk on my face as I then looked back at my pants.

I was pretty sure that if I stared touching myself in the middle of my thoughts, by now I would be loaded with sperm all over my hands. My thoughts were finally clearing up as I relaxed myself, just like I would do after every, decent orgasm.

Random girl at Subway on Friday evening made me this. Made me a mess. And I loved it. I didn’t want and I didn’t need to understand my feelings towards the whole 'incident’. Nor the fact that in my head I was having a full on monologue. It was all a very, very intense experience for me.

I was not a desperate boy. I got laid. Quite a lot actually. It was different this time through. I truly found myself relating to this girl. Just the way she showed interest in whoever she was on the phone to. Also the frustration, irritation. I felt like I get it. I said a lot, a lot of indecent lot to myself, but I felt like I would love to just be a good guy to her. Which also made me really concerned, as I did never, I repeat never want to give out special treatment to nobody.

No words to describe my state came to my mind I just prayed to God for my sake and sake of that poor, not knowing girl that our paths would never cross again, because I would not be able to stop myself from coming over to her. And once I would, I could get her fucked up for life.

punkbarbie  asked:

if we were dating that would be so gay,,,,,,,,, okay but seriously that'd be cute because i bet we would record videos together and be dorks and play video games together and we'd go on cute walks (i mean anything we do is cute) and then we can scream about how shitty mental illness is and we can find ways to accept ourselves that maybe being normal isnt all cut out to what it's suppose to be and that we may not be perfect but being alive with each other is way better than being dead and alone

OH MY GOD? GOALS? I love this sm wow why do u gotta hit me in my feels like this. like? “being alive with each other is way better than being dead and alone” you come into my home and attack me like this??? MY HEART. IT’S ESPLODING.

sentence starters

a collection of random song lyrics – a mixture of angst, fluff, and humor

❝ Oh, don’t leave me here alone. ❞
❝ I want to find a home. ❞
❝ How is it – being locked away? ❞
❝ You’ll never find the answer. ❞  
❝ Just grab a hold of my hand. ❞
❝ I dare you to close your eyes. ❞    
❝ The light is blinding my eyes. ❞  
❝ Wait for your call, love. ❞
❝ Meet me again in the rain. ❞
❝ You’ve got to find yourself alone. ❞        
❝ It was only a kiss. ❞
❝ I just can’t look, it’s killing me. ❞
❝ I’m choking on your alibis. ❞
❝ Child, I’m afraid for your soul. ❞
❝ There is no courage in flirting with fear. ❞
❝ She’ll eat you alive. ❞
❝ They can’t be controlled. ❞
❝ She is cunning and clever as hell. ❞  
❝ Show me how you do that trick! ❞
❝ I promise that I’ll run away with you. ❞
❝ Why won’t you ever know that I’m in love with you? ❞
❝ I must’ve been asleep for day. ❞
❝ I can hear you dreaming. ❞
❝ I will make sure to keep my distance. ❞
❝  Please don’t stand so close to me. ❞
❝ I’m afraid of what you’ll see right now. ❞
❝ How long can we keep this up?  ❞
❝ And I keep waiting. ❞
❝ You keep waiting to save what we have. ❞  
❝ How long ‘til we call this love? ❞
❝ I’ve trained myself to give up on the past. ❞
❝ I didn’t know I was lonely until I saw your face. ❞
❝ And I miss the days of a life still permanent. ❞
❝ Cause I’m sleeping in the back of a taxi. ❞
❝ I didn’t know I was broken. ❞
❝ All I wanted to do was fall apart. ❞
❝ I’m so lost in you. ❞
❝ I miss your face like hell. ❞
❝ But our friends will be gone away. ❞
❝ A year from now, we’ll all be gone. ❞
❝ Been talking about the way things change. ❞                                               

Punishment (Smut) Masterlist

Anything For You, Baby - analester

Summary: dom!phil and twink!dan.

Caught In A Lie - trysomecats

Summary: Dan wants to be noticed by his English teacher, so he purposely keeps earning failing grades. Sure enough, his problem is finally noticed by Mr. Lester.

Clean Yourself Up - nightospherian, adayinthelifeofphan

Summary: Dan’s annoyed by Phil’s tendencies to not clean up after he uses the kitchen, and he finally snaps and gives Phil a punishment.

Crave - philipsenpai-fics

Summary: Phil has a punishing system for Dan’s late videos.

Didn’t I Warn You - the-butt-llama

Summary: Phil comes home late and Dan punishes him by spanks.

Duct Tape - alltimeblowmecas

Summary: Dan comes home to find Phil masturbating with their ‘special occasion’ lube so he punishes him.

I Don’t Want To Feel Alone (ao3) - brenduckurie

Summary: Phil’s in Florida, and Dan misses him. Dan teases Phil, so Phil makes sure to punish him when he gets home. And oh, does Dan love it.

Lesson - phansofotps

Summary: Dan is tired of Phil not helping him clean up the messes Phil makes. So he decides to teach him a lesson.

Lipstick Stains (ao3) - phansparent

Summary: Phil knows how to turn Dan on even when he looks like a clown who tried to put on his makeup during an earthquake. Dan has to punish him for being naughty.

Merry Christmas, Baby - phanlovely

Summary: Dan runs into an issue while he’s out buying Phil’s Christmas present. Phil gets angry and punishes Dan.

Punishment - phanfic-writer

Summary: Phil teaches Dan a lesson after saying daddy in the video with Connor.

What Did I Tell You - danandphil-phanfiction

Summary: Phil punishes Dan for posting the audio from his video with Jim Chapman, after Phil told him not to.

You’re Mine - cuddlephan

Summary: Dan flirts with Aled to make Phil jealous.

He fucked up so many times but I was in the wrong, I was in the wrong because chances ran out and I was tired.
I was selfish because I gave up on something that was exhausted long ago.
I was the one left in the dark, and when I finally found the light to guide me back through I became selfish for following it.
As he sat there laying in the sun, he called me selfish for finding light in the crack of a broken home that he no longer accompanied.
I followed that light, at first his voice was all I could hear but as the light grew brighter his words became whispers and soon I couldn’t make them out.
That’s when he chose, he chose to go back into that broken home, and begged me to come back, begged me to leave the light.
You see he didn’t like being in that dark broken home by himself, but I was gone and I wasn’t coming back, but oh how he begged me not to leave him there alone.
But I ignored his whispers just like he ignored mine.
—  He loved me most when I was no longer his to love
Short Valentine's Day Imagine. (Yongguk)

It was Valentine’s Day and you were home with your jammies on and a bunch of snacks ready to watch your drama.

“Am I the only one that ship Eun-Sang and Young-Do together?”

You thought to yourself while you stuffed a piece of chocolate in your mouth and stared intensely to your TV.

Your phone had vibrated and it was a text from your boyfriend Yongguk.”

“Jagiyaaa, what are you doing? I’m coming home late tonight so you don’t have to wait for me to eat dinner.”

“Okay, get home safely and don’t stress yourself out too much! Love you.”

“I won’t! Love you more. :)“

Valentine’s Day is one of the holidays you and Yongguk don’t really celebrate because of the hectic schedule you both have. You were already use of being alone on this day and just eating snacks and enjoying your drama were you daily routine for this holiday.

-Knock Knock-

“What? It’ can be Yongguk, he usually gets home in an hour or two.. Who could it be?”

You went to the door and looked through the peeped hole and it was the door man from downstairs.

“Oh, hello sir how can I help you?”

“Sorry to bother you Miss ___ I know it’s late but there’s a package for you downstairs.”

“What? A package this late?”

“Yes and the person want you to go downstairs and to sign the paper.”

“Um okay thank you.”

“Oh yeah I forgot to tell you the elevator is down so you would have to use the stairs.”

“WHATTT?! That’s like 4 floors down!”

“I know ma’am I was tired coming up here too.”

“Ugh okay, you can go down first I’ll meet you there later.”

You went inside to grab a pair of shoes and walk to the stairway.

“Ugh I have to walk down 4 flo-“

Your eyes widened as you open the doorway to the stairway. The stairs was decorated with rose petals and on the wall had a post it on it and you took it and read it

“Hey remember how we first met? You were at my fansign I remember you the most out of all people because you fainted while you shook my hand haha! - Yongguk”

“Omg, why would he bring this up? That day was so embarrassing!”

You went down another level and it had another post it on it.

“Haha, you have two more floors to go! It’s okay baby I know you can do it, you’re a strong girl. Fighting.~”

You laughed and went down another floor.

“Hey are you tired yet? I‘m getting kind of sleepy can you hurry up? Jk, take your time I’m waiting for you.”

Finally you had reached the last floor.

“Finallyyy, you made it. Yay~ Anyways I just wanted to let you know that you are the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world!” You opened the door to the lobby and notice no one was there but the door man.

“Uh….”

“Oh hello Miss ___” follow me.”

He leads you outside and walks you to the nearby park where the walk way was decorated with lights and little hearts.

“Just follow the pathway and you’ll see something nice.”

“Thanks, I’ll give you a big tip later.”

He laughs and walks back to the apartment.

You follow the pathway and you finally reached the end.  You see a blanket and a picnic basket lying on the grass and you could see the back of Yongguk and you stood there smiling.

“I’m here.”

Yongguk turned around with a bouquet of roses in his hands and slowly walked up to you.

“Happy Valentine’s Day baby, I know that we don’t really celebrate this holiday as much but since this is the first I wanted to make it special for you.”

You smiled even harder and gave Yongguk a hug.

“Yongguk, being with you is already special. Thank you, but why did you make me come out like this? Look I’m still in my pajamas!”

Yongguk  smiles and leans in gives you a passionate kiss on the lips.

“I like it when you look like this you’re prettier this way.”

The two of you had your little picnic together and watched the stars in the night sky.

“Hey oppa.”

“Hmm?”

“I still didn’t finish my drama can we go back and go watch it?”

He laughs as he kisses you on the forehead.

“Okay.”

You guys arrived back safely to your apartment and both of you were in your pajamas lying in bed watching the drama.

“I’m still mad she ended up with Kim Tan! My poor Young-Do!”

Yongguk laughs as he kisses you on the cheeks.

“You’re so cute.”

“Oppa, do you want to be my Kim Tan?”

“No.”

“Waeeee.”

“Because I’m your Bang Yongguk.”

“LOL, you’re so cute.”

You give him a kiss on the cheek and lay your head on his chest.

“I love you Yongguk.”

“I love you more ___” Happy Valentine’s Day.”

-admin bambam

Flower Crowns

word count: 1,306

chapter: 1/1

summary: Mettaton and Papyrus making flower crowns and doing other cute stuff on their third date(human au papyton fluff)

author’s note: haha i haven’t written anything in forever so this probably sucks but heyo i tried, sorry that mettaton might seem a lil out of character i couldn’t figure out how to fix it rip

Keep reading

Broken Lives [Wonwoo Angst] Part 2

Genre: Angst

Summary: He left you without telling you why. For three years, you lived all alone, wondering where he disappeared to until one day, you save a child from a car accident. The pain from the accident hurt, but the truth why he left hurt more.

TRIGGER WARNING: Divorce / Broken Family /Parents Quarreling

Part 1   Part 3


“I’m trying, _______.” Looking out of the same glass wall at the lounge, you recalled every single word Wonwoo had said the day before. At that time, you didn’t seem as if you cared about what he was saying. You just looked full of hate, resentment and disappointment but deep down, each word he said etched deep in your mind, your heart and stayed there ever since. He said he was trying. Trying to do what? Make you forgive him? You didn’t know it yourself, but you forgave him a long time ago. You told yourself that as long as he was happy, you would be alright but that was the problem here. He wasn’t a single bit happy. That was the reason why you were so angry with him. Couldn’t he see? It wasn’t that he left you, it wasn’t because he cheated on you and had a child. That made you disappointed, that destroyed your trust in him and it sure broke your heart. But the real reason why you were so pissed, why you were so frustrated was because he left you for nothing. It’s like a butterfly leaving its cocoon to realise that it can’t fly. All this while, you thought that he left for a better life. You thought that you weren’t good enough and that he was somewhere out there, having fun and that he betrayed you for a good reason. At least your pain would mean his joy. But no. He made you suffer, he tore you apart, just to spend his life living in hell, together with his son, under the hands of his wife.

“I still love you, I always have.” That was the thing that tampered with your emotions the most. The past three years were spent trying to forget him, erase him out of your head and more importantly, your heart. At the end, you came to a fixed conclusion that he didn’t love you anymore but it was just impossible for you to forget him. But now, Wonwoo just told you something that changed your view on everything. He loved you. Leaving you wasn’t an easy thing for him. In fact, it was the hardest decision he had to make in his entire life. This whole time, his heart still belonged to you and it still did. But that wasn’t a good thing. You didn’t feel so blissful or oh, so touched that he loved you. Myungsoo popped into your mind, you thought about Minah and your head would droop, your face would fall. So what if I love him and so what if he loves me? Being together again is impossible.

“I miss you and it hurts me to know that you dislike me so much-” You missed him too. You missed Wonwoo with all your heart, your mind and your soul. Every fibre of your being longed to see him, talk to him, hear his voice. Disliked him? Yes, you hated him for what he did but you couldn’t deny that you loved him either.

Wheeling yourself back to your room, your phone suddenly rang and the screen displayed an unfamiliar number. I don’t know this number. Frowning, you hesitated to pick it up but seeing the caller’s persistence, you slid the button across the screen before putting the phone to your ear. A familiar, young voice spoke and your eyes widened.

“Myungsoo, I’m coming. Hang in there, stay in your room and cover your ears if you have to okay? Don’t be afraid, no one will hurt you and I’m coming right now okay?” Myungsoo replied with a shaky ‘okay’ and you hurriedly called your best friend next.

“Boo Seungkwan come to the hospital now.”



The lift door opened and you could hear the shouts, loud and clear. You weren’t used to the crutches and it was hard to walk, especially with your hand injured too but you had to get to Myungsoo as fast as you could. Hobbling, you made your way to the front door and started pounding on the door with your working hand. The yelling stopped and the door flung wide open, revealing Minah who was standing with her arms crossed and Wonwoo who’s mouth was slightly open, the colour draining from his face and his body frozen. “________ w-what-”

“STOP YOUR STUPID YELLING AND CHECK ON YOUR SON, IDIOT!” Going into the house without getting permission, you limped your way around the house until you found Myungsoo’s room. His door was shut, just like you told him to do and you knocked on it gently. Wonwoo was right behind you, face buried in his face, realising just what he did yet again.

“It’s me Myungsoo.” You called and gave a sigh of relief when the door opened slowly. Myungsoo stood there with two fingers plugged in each ear. “Myungsoo, are you okay?” You ask as you give him a tight hug and as you did, you felt his whole body trembling.

“I c-covered my ears and the noise got softer…you told me to…” He whispered and you nodded your head.

“Yeah Myungsoo. I hope you never have to do it again,” clearing your throat, you glared at Wonwoo , “but if you need to, that will help.” Myungsoo walked slowly towards Wonwoo and held his hand.

“Daddy, are you okay?” Tears formed in Wonwoo’s eyes as he knelt down and brought his son into a hug.

“Daddy made you scared again right Myungsoo? I’m so sorry Myungsoo…you shouldn’t have to go through this.” That was it. That was the last straw. Seeing Myungsoo and Wonwoo suffer like that was really unbearable and you couldn’t take it any longer. To the one who made Wonwoo suffer and to the one who made your own child live in fear like this. You fight me and leave them alone.

You suddenly felt a certain strength, a surge of energy and courage as you took a step. Your leg didn’t hurt as much and the pain was almost completely gone. Step by step, you walked towards the living room where Minah had a high and mighty expression on which irked you so much, you felt like burying her head in the sand.

“What the heck is your problem?” You snarled and Minah glared at you.

“And who are you? What business do you have with our family? Do you even have the right to speak here?”

“Please, like you have any right. Your own child hates you and I bet your husband does to. Don’t you ever wonder why? You should do some self-reflection some time.”

“Oh, so you’re the one that saved my child right? Do you think that saving Myungsoo makes you some kind of hero or something? That I’m indebted to you and it gives you a right to snoop into our family matters?”

“Do you think calling Myungsoo’s name will save him from a car?” You laughed and she slapped you across the cheek. It stung, yes. But the pain you felt from the accident was a thousand times worse. A slap? Oh, you could deal with it.

“I broke my arm and twisted my leg. My head, has a lovely hole in it which gives me piercing pains now and then. Do you think a slap will scare me? Do you think that shouting every single day and being the unreasonable woman you are will do your child any good? I heard how you leave him alone at home. I heard how you forget to pick him up sometimes. You’re a mother. Do you know that?”

“You’re teaching me how to be a mother? So let me ask you, are you a mother yourself?” She smirked and you scoffed.

“I’m not. But that’s what makes you look even worse. Someone who has no clue what it’s like to have a family knows the basics of how to manage one while you don’t even. You took everything away from me. You took the man I love the most in the entire world. You took my future with him. Can’t you at least take care of what you stole?”

“Hey I didn’t steal Wonwoo. You must have been so terrible that he chose me over you-”

“No one likes you Mummy!” You watched as Minah’s jaw dropped and her fists clench. Turning around, you held Myungsoo and brought him a few steps back. His small face was dead serious and he had a glint in his eyes.

“Jeon Myungsoo.” Minah said in a warning tone and started walking towards him.

“Stay away.” You had no idea what she was about to do but you were afraid. You were afraid that she would hurt him, be it physically or verbally.

“What did you say Myungsoo? Come here now.” She ordered but you held on to him tightly, refusing to let him go anywhere near her. Myungsoo’s courage was slowly dwindling, seeing his mother so furious, he held on to you tightly and started his trembling once more. Minah shot Wonwoo a look, but he stood there with you, holding Myungsoo as well.

“Are you siding with them, Wonwoo?” Her eyebrows were raised and she seemed as if she had something up her sleeve. Repeating her words, she said once more, “Are you siding with them?” Wonwoo opened his mouth to say something but got cut off immediately. “I want a divorce.” His eyes shot wide open as thoughts ran through his mind. Myungsoo would be motherless. How can he do without a mother? Kids will laugh at him. Panic struck Wonwoo and he let go of Myungsoo.

“N-no Minah you can’t do this.” Stumbling towards his wife, Wonwoo held her as you knelt there on the floor, unable to believe what was happening. Did he just say…no? By now, you thought that Wonwoo would want to break free from Minah and this was a perfect opportunity. Myungsoo would have a better life. Yes, he would be motherless but being motherless was surely better than having a monster as a mother.

“Wonwoo.” You saw him clinging onto Minah, begging her not to file a divorce. Did he really love her?

“Minah don’t do this, don’t do this.” He pleaded and that was all you could take.

“So you love her.” You smiled sadly. Hearing this, Wonwoo turned to you. Releasing your grip on Myungsoo, you stood up as best as you could without hurting yourself. “So this is why you really left me. This is why after all these years, despite what Myungsoo told me about her, you still stayed by her side, bearing with all the nonsense she has to offer. You love her, don’t you?”

Wonwoo saw the colour in your eyes fade away. He saw how your hands fell to your sides and how your voice was so soft and lack of energy.

“Just what am I fighting for? Why am I even here, shielding Myungsoo, arguing for your freedom and bearing with the pain my injuries are giving me? Why am I doing all this, when you won’t even fight for yourself, for your own son? If you have already fixed your mind on living with her forever, then why did you tell me that you missed me and that you still loved me? So it’s pity you feel, isn’t it?” Grabbing your crutches, you limped to the door and opened it.

“________ I don’t mean-” Running to you, Wonwoo held your shoulder and tried to turn you around but you shook him off.

“Don’t touch me. Minah’s right. I’m not part of your family, I’m not Myungsoo’s mother and I’m no longer the person you love. What am I doing here?”

“I called you.” Myungsoo whispered and your head lowered, stopping yourself from making eye contact with any of the family members whom you obviously didn’t have anything to do with.

“And so I came. But your parents don’t want me here, Myungsoo.”

“But Daddy-”

Turning fully away, you said your final words before leaving the home in which you were so unwelcomed at. “I’ve just realized that your Daddy doesn’t want me too.”


Hahah I’m sorry guys but I guess there must be a part 3?? Okay I know I ended it off angst AGAIN and that there isn’t a bit of happiness….well…I think I love angst too much :P Wow this is longer than I expected…I hope you all liked this part as much as the first!! Love you all~ -admin clef

Larry Chats | Louis 17 years old and Harry 21 years old
  • Louis : Hey Harry, today I'm alone at home...
  • Harry : Oh, are you afraid of being alone?
  • Louis : ... Harry
  • Harry : Yeah?
  • Louis : Will you come here tonight to show me how much you love me?
  • Harry : Yep, I will kiss you on the lips, take care of you and other things...
  • Louis : Other things like?
  • Harry : Hug you during the night and you're asleep
  • Louis : ...

Tbh, I’m a bit wary of talking about what Home means to me as a gay woman because there have been a lot of times where the queer people in this fandom have been told, whether implicitly or explicitly, that they are /not allowed/ to claim this song as something that is precious to them because “music is for everyone”. That’s true, music is for everyone. And I don’t, I really *don’t* want to take away from what Project Home is supposed to be and achieve. (Also for some reason every time I talk about what something means to me as a gay woman people say I’m “making it about Larry” which…? Okay? All gay =/= Larry). But I just want to wax poetic about this song for a minute.

I wish I could describe what it’s like to go through life as a queer person. Especially when you’ve been in straight relationships and came out later than some, the stark contrast between what was and what is, well it’s enough to really slam you into an identity crisis. Everything that was once tailored to you now feels as though it’s excluding you, and where once you slid through life rather effortlessly, now you find yourself contemplating things you never would have had to contemplate before. For so long after I came out, I felt lost and frankly, quite hopeless. I didn’t know what had happened, but somewhere between opening the closet door and stepping out of that darkness, I had sort of lost any sense of who I was or what belonged to me… or even what home was to me, where it was. And I am someone who likes feeling at home.

It was three o’clock in the morning when I was sent the link for this song via email. I awoke bleary eyed to Louis’ tweets and to the link sitting in my inbox with a message from a dear friend: “Happy listening :)” I pressed play and as I listened, my body felt like it had pins and needles, hot then cold. I couldn’t breathe and tears pricked the corners of my eyes before they began to flow freely down my cheeks. The words in this song. The feelings of uncertainty and of anxiety and of just /knowing/ that you’re different and then the moment when it all clicks, when it all makes sense, when you look at someone -even if that someone is YOURSELF- and say, “Oh. There you are. I’ve been looking for you.” And when you realize that your identity, that who you are and who you love gives you space and voice in the world…. there’s nothing like it.

When I heard Home, when I heard about stumbling in the dark and about being enough and about being a light and making a place feel like home.. I thought of all of you. And how when I first came here I was scared and alone and really unsure of the space I occupied in my own peer group. And how, a year later, my voice and my sense of self is strong and vocal and sure of itself… and that’s thanks to all of you. I may be capable, but you’re the air behind the push of my voice. And this song, knowing that they know these feelings so intimately and can describe them far better than I ever could, well it means the world to me.

Home means a lot to me. 

this is really long, im sorry.

so i fell in love with this guy right? let me tell you about it. he was tall, handsome, hazel eyes, perfect teeth, breathtaking smile, large artistic hands. he was confident, ambitious, intelligent. he was extremely compassionate about things he loved; for example one thing was working out, having a job, talking about cars. i dont know really what it was that made me notice the sparkle in his eye whenever he talked about those things, i took interest in them because i could see how much he loved talking about those subjects. i loved to hear about it, i supported him in every way possible with those things. i loved to see the way his lips would slightly curve at the corners because of how excited he got when talking about things he immensely enjoyed. he was very caring, and considerate of eveyone he cared about. his brothers, his friends, me. he was faithful, funny, humble, generous. what i envy about him is the way he puts himself first. he was mature, he had goals in life and he was going to reach them whether or not he had to lose people getting to them. he doesnt take the shit talking, he knew that one day he was going to be right at the top where he wanted to be. he knew what exactly it was that he wanted. the way he made me feel, holy fuck there really are no words that i can put together in the english language to explain it. fucking fireworks, butterflies, the view at the top of a mountain, the exhilarating feeling you get when a rollar coaster drops, the breath you suck in quickly when someone surprises you, the impact that you feel when you fall, but youre ok. he made me feel like i was sipping on some type of something that you couldnt get anywhere. he made my heart skip beats, and my breath quicken. he was my home, my safe place, my happiness, my break away from the world, he was my deep breath on after a long day when im sitting home alone, he was the relieving hot water that i let run over my face in the shower. he was my satisfaction. he was everything i had ever wanted in a human being. he could make me smile with the blink of an eye. oh god how i loved kissing him, his lips felt like silk agaisnt mine. electricity flowed through my body everytime he touched me, and i swear it stayed warm exactly where he had touched me even after he let go. his arms were probably the most inviting thing ever. the way they completely engulfed me. he was so strong. he was so much he was just enough for me. he was everything. oh his smell; how to explain it? im not sure. his smell was godly like the best thing you could ever smell. i swear. i miss his smile, his laugh. his laugh, his laugh. his. laugh. it was my favorite song, just as his voice was. i could listen to his voice, or his laugh on repeat for days on end just like i could any one of my favorite songs. there was this place in between his pinky and his ring finger on his left hand like this small, barely noticeable indent where i loved running my finger against. oh how i miss him. i would do anything to go back. i fell so fucking hard for this boy, i let him completely destroy me, and oddly i wouldnt take it back. any second of it. he made me think about marriage even when i never wanted to get married. he made me think about forever when that is something i had never believed in. i want to travel the world someday alone. i have always been more of an “alone” person, but oh i would have traveled with him. all over the entire world. take him to all the most beautiful places, but even knowing that he was more beautiful than the image of the place itself. god maybe i am young to think of that shit, and maybe he wouldnt be the one, but he made me believe in things i had never before believed in. i loved him, i still love him. i am in love with him, and i wish i had the courage to tell him that, and i would if it werent for him leaving for someone better. god i swear i could keep going on, and on, and on forever about him. its him, it was always him, it will always be him.

youtube

I’ve heard this song on 8Tracks and it screams Bagginshield I mean

Hello, my old heart
How have you been?
Are you still there inside my chest?
I’ve been so worried
You’ve been so still
Barely beating at all

Oh, don’t leave me here alone
Don’t tell me that we’ve grown for having loved a little while
Oh, I don’t want to be alone
I want to find a home and I want to share it with you

Hello, my old heart
It’s been so long
Since I’ve given you away
And every day I add another stone
To the walls I built around you
To keep you safe

Hello, my old heart
How have you been?
How is it, being locked away?
Don’t you worry
In there, you’re safe
And it’s true you’ll never beat, but you’ll never break

Because nothing lasts forever
Some things aren’t meant to be
But you’ll never find the answers
Until you set your old heart free


This screams post-BoFA Bilbo and I cry.