oh hi em where did you come from

Sentence starters from Sao abridged episode 10

“I’m broken please fix me”

“Wow…that was…almost romantic.”

“All the dating sims just roll to credits at this point.”

“___ asked us a question so we have to say something!”

“Just. Say. Anything.“

“Just say it with confidence.”

“We should get married.”

“Anything except THAT obviously!”

“Sorry I don’t do well under pressure!”

“It’s fine, forget it, we’ll just…play it off as a joke.”

“YOU FOOL! YOU’VE DOOMED US ALL!”

“___ seems happy about it. Maybe she knows something we don’t.”

“BITCH WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SAY YES?!”

“I DON’T KNOW”

“And might I say….congratulations on the wedding.”

“It’s really the best of decisions anyone has ever made…really.”

“You may remember the ending of our fight was a tad controversial…”

“They call him….the king of ashes.”

“You need me at the table, cracking jokes and breaking the ice.”

“I need to hide you under the biggest rock I can find.”

“I’m afraid you’ve pissed someone off and killed thousands.”

“I think the least you can do is sit this one out.”

“I’m also going to need you to stay behind and guard him, ____”

“You and me alone in the woods for who knows how long…”

“Ah young love, how I envy you.”

“This place is amazing!”

“Maybe this won’t be so bad after all”

“Hey do you think getting married was the worst mistake of our lives?”

“DON’T YOU LOVE ME?!”

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! THAT WAS OUR OUT!”

“It doesn’t matter if your wrong, just dig in your heals, and NEVER show weakness!” 

“Oh yeah…I love you so much…I don’t regret this at all…”

“I love you so much, I don’t even know your real name!”

“Are these night terrors going to be like a daily thing?”

“At this point I think we need to get doctors involved”

“Oh…uh…hello little girl…”

“How did you get into our house?”

“I….I don’t remember”

“Oh YEAH….I’m sure that’ll hold up in court.”

“Remember anything else? Friends? Address? Street corner we can dump you?”

“Are you my…mama and papa?”

“Let me set you straight you little fruit cake”

“WAIT WAIT WAIT! We can use this…”

“Just follow my lead.”

“Of COURSE you’re our child!”

“Okay I’m lost.”

“HOW DID WE GET A KID?!”

“You just don’t want to be the one to say it!”

“You’re trying to scare me off!”

“Don’t you get it? THIS IS A POWER MOVE!”

“WELCOME HOME, ___!”

“Where did you learn a word like that?”

“Yes…is that weird?”

“I CAN’T BELIEVE HE CALLED OUR BLUFF!”

“Let’s have a frickin’ kid! That’ll solve all our problems!”

“Oh shut up, this could still work”

“AAAH! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UUUUP!”

“Okay here we go….What’s wrong, ___?”

“We can’t keep lying to her”

“You’re right…I guess carrying on like this would be pretty irresponsible of us.”

“Soooo…..we’re in agreement then?”

“WE WOULD LIKE TO BUY ONE CHILD PLEASE!”

“I don’t think you understand how an orphanage works.”

“You can’t just buy a child.”

“I’LL TAKE A TWELVE PACK IF YOU HAVE IT!”

“You’re not listening to me….”

“Please! I need your help!”

“Oh good…another one…”

“Come on in…we’re the new owners.”

“I’ll make some tea.”

“This is a lovely place you have here.”

“ Why exactly do you need our help?”

“HOW CAN ANYONE LET THIS HAPPEN?!”

“It all happened so fast, none of us saw it coming.”

“But to our surprise….it was nothing but a trap.”

“That is not at all what irony is…I believe the turn of events you described would be best classified as completely expected.”

“We should have like a tiny little mic for you to drop.”

“Statistically speaking, that says more about you then it does about him.”

“I’LL THROW DOWN WITH AN EIGHT YEAR OLD! I DON’T GIVE A FUCK!”

“Touch her and I kill ___ myself”

“I was all for having a family adventure.”

“That dumb-ass really should have seen this coming.”

“I bet even freckles over here could get the job done.”

“OH SO I CAN TALK NOW!”

“YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOW MY NAME WAS ___ DID YOU?!”

“Yeesh, where did that come from?”

“I feel like I’m the only one here that hasn’t tried to stab someone today.”

“I have not threatened anyone.”

“Looks like you and I are the only sane ones here.”

“Mamma’s scary.”

“SCARY?! WHERE?! I’LL FUCKING KILL EM’!”

“Is he gonna be alright?”

“Just let him work it out of his system, he’ll tire himself out eventually.”

“On a related note, aren’t you at all concerned on the delight your daughter seems to be taking in all this?”

“Go for the eyes, ___!”

“You seem like a….great family.”

“There’s definitely something in there…crying and huddled in the fetal position.”

“Be a dear and take care of this gangly fellow would you?”

“Oh for the love of…GET DOWN!”

“Ps. you might want to keep your eyes pealed FOR THE PERSONIFICATION OF DEATH ITSELF!”

“Of course you believed him. You’re stupid enough to be in this situation after all.”

“Oh don’t mind the razor wire, WE HAVE CRUMPETS!”

“We’re going to have some words with you later, most of which I’d rather not use in front of ___”

“I’ve got your back.”

“The power of love is bullshit!”

“That’s very brave, but i doubt that sweater of yours has much in the way of safe defense.”

“Very well…we shall do this your way.”

“Will this suffice?”

“So…I imagine you have some questions…”

“First and foremost, where is your sweater young lady?”

“As you’ve probably guessed by now…I’m not normal.”

“Well I could certainly think of a few people who could’ve used your help.”

“OH GOD HE MADE YOU WATCH?!”

“Day by day, constantly bombarded by the pain and anger of people I could not help, I gradually fell into despair.”

“That all changed when I found you two”

“But somehow together…you were happy”

“Everything I knew about relationships told me that one would eventually kill the other, and yet no matter how often you fought, you’re bond only seemed to grow stronger.”

“I wanted to know what love is…I wanted you to show me.”

“Sorry I lied to you.”

“I inserted myself into your lives merely to satisfy my own curiosity…at least at first”

“I WISH I REALLY WAS YOUR CHILD!”

“Yeah kid, you’re not going anywhere.”

“It is okay, you do not have to pretend to love me anymore.”

“I know you only kept me around as a pawn in your mind games…although I do admit…I did enjoy being your pawn.”

“I’m sorry I was such a burden.”

“PREPARE TO FACE THE WRATH OF A PISSED OFF NERD WITH ADMIN PRIVILEGES!”

“What the heck is this?”

“You know…then we can tell her how we really feel.”

“For real this time, no bullshit, do you think we got married too quickly?”

“Do you want to stay together now?”

“Was that the entire conversation?”

“THAT WAS SO EASY!”

“WE ARE SO STUPID!”

“Let’s hope we don’t have to sacrifice a small child every time we have to have a talk like this.”

melllllly  asked:

NALU with “My cat steals underwear and I come home to find you chasing my cat to get your underwear back.”

I’m dishing ‘em out tonight!

I love you melllllly and you know it!! :*

“Hey, cat!! Come back!!”

It would have made a great picture. There she was, a blonde in nothing but a towel, chasing after a blue cat in a stranger’s garden.

“Oh shit, Happy did it again.”

Natsu Dragneel dropped his shopping bags and started sprinting towards where he guessed the evildoer must be. And indeed, he managed to cut his little friend off.

“Happy!”

His voice was stern, and the cat came to a halt upon hearing it. And as he had imagined: a little piece of cloth was dangling from his muzzle. Natsu crouched down, disappearing behind the hedge. He extended his hand.

“Give it to me.”

But it would never happen. Not because the cat did not obey, but because Natsu was thrown face first into the ground as someone crashed into him.

“Kya!!”

They both groanded upon landing in the grass, and Natsu watched the blonde struggle to keep herself covered as she wriggled about in front of him.

“Oh dear, I’m so sorry. I was just chasing-”

Then her eyes fixed themselves on the cat that was sitting in front of her calmly.

“You!!”

She reached out, and looked very surprised when the cat didn’t even flinch. Natsu knew he would not move; he had done it himself many times. Quickly, she took back her panties, tugging them under the towel. Only then did she look back at him, and judging from her expression he must be a very confusing fellow.

“Is something wrong with me? Is it my hair? Damn, I knew I should’ve used my usual shampoo.”

“W-what? No, your hair is fine. I mean, it’s ok. I’m just - uh.”

Slowly, she got back up, and he mirrored her movement. She seemed intent on ignoring her lack of clothes, but the blush on her cheeks betrayed her.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He eyes grew wide. “I mean, it was me who basically ran you over.”

“That’s - that’s my cat.”

“What?!”

“Yeah. For some reason, he likes to steal underwear. I swear, I have no idea where he picked that up.” He laughed, scratching the back of his head in embarassment. “And this is my place. Well, you know, flatshare.”

“Um, hi, then, I guess?” She gave him a little smile, and he noticed how much he liked it. And how pretty she was. “I’m Lucy.”

“Natsu. And this is Happy.”

They watched as the feline strolled past the, not even sparing them a glance. It seemed his mission was done.

“He’s nice, I swear!”

Lucy giggled at his desperate expression. “Ok, I believe you. As long as he doesn’t break into my room again, I think we’ll get along. I shouldn’t have left the window open after all, huh?”

Relieved, he smiled at her.

“It probably wouldn’t have stopped him.”

Now they both laughed, and he almost forgot that she still was half-naked. Almost.

“Don’t you wanna get dressed?”

“Ohgod.” Lucy paled, as if she had become aware of her attire only now. “Damn.”

“What is it? Did he steal the rest of your clothes too?”

“No, it’s just… my flat is a few blocks from here. I kinda got.. into the chase.”

Despite her furious blush, he couldn’t hold back his laughter.

“Oh man, at least you didn’t give up easily! I never saw anyone track Happy so far, or even reclaim their underwear. You should be proud.”

A fond expression crossed her face.

“Well, thanks for that at least.”

“You can thank me for more in a moment. Come on in! You want something to drink? Must be exhausted.”

He flashed her a grin as she followed him inside without hesitation.

“You can have one of my shirts, alright?”

It would become her favourite to wear, even long after they had started dating.