oh hey i like your face

I talked to him😄❤️

So after my lessons I went to him. Because I had to know why he did so weird to me 😅

He was teaching so I waited and when his class was over, he walked to another room with some kids. He opened the door and let them in. I walked to him and when he saw me he got a big smile on his face because he was happy to see me? And I was like? Uhhh you avoided me the whole lesson and now you’re happy to see me? Okay?

He: hey A!

Me: Hey! Ehmm I wanted to ask you something..

He: okay? 😁

Me: is everything okay? During class you looked really sad.. so? (I meant YOU AVOIDED ME SO?.. xD )

He: oh really? Oh well I’m fine.

Me: really?

He: yes A I am 😉

Me: how is your mom doing? Because i didn’t see you for 4 days I couldn’t ask it. (We did like this was the first time today that we saw each other lmao)

He: She is fine! She is at home already:)

Me: Oh yes! I’m glad to hear that!

He: Yeah 😊

Then he walked in his classroom and I said:

Okay Bye! 😊

He: Byee A! WITH A HUGE SMILE AND HE WINKED AND HE WAVED?

I was like: really? Why? Why did you avoid me the whole lesson and are so happy now?

But okay I’m happy now 😂❤️🤗🙋🤷‍♀️

Soulmate AU where:

When your soulmate is eating something you can taste it on your lips, just slightly. And maybe feel it on your lips too, like the powder of a cinnamon donut, except you can’t lick it away, so you’re just stuck with it like ‘damn you asshole, lick your goddamn lips! This is annoying!’

If they’re having cravings you do too. Sometimes you’ll get cravings for what you’ve just eaten.

If you taste something like strawberry lip gloss you know their either getting ready for a night out or kissing someone. Or maybe they just like the taste.

You constantly lick your lips when they’re eating something you like because ‘oh gods this taste so good, what is it?’ or 'I haven’t had that in ages!’

You get jealous of the fact that they have such nice food ALL THE DAMN TIME.

When they’re eating something you don’t like you try to not lick your lips for so long. It gets annoying and is hard to do for a while so you just put on lip gloss. Then you think 'awe, man. What if they don’t like… And that’s why they put on lip gloss the other week?’

One day you try to send them a recipe. So you just, like, munch on a piece of toast, then lick some honey, then eat some banana so they’ll try your favourite meal and you’ll have that taste on your lips without actually eating it.

One day you think 'what kind of idiot eats peanut butter with jam - holy shit it’s an American! Or someone in America… Maybe they just like it? Oh god will I have to take 20-something hour flight to find them? Uuuhhhggghhh!’

You’re in the middle of a test but just can’t stop licking your lips because 'oh god glazed donuts…’

You can’t place a taste but you know you’ve tasted it before.

After going to Harry Potter world you realise 'it’s butterbeer!’ and then you try a butterbeer cappuccino or whatever and are just - 'goddamn it you jerk you ruined all my experiences!’

You start craving a signature dish from your town that is only served there. You go to the restaurant and see three people eating the meal, so you just walk up to the counter, order something that is nothing like the dish or something that you know that person hates because every time after you eat it you taste mouthwash.

You calmly sit down and just watch the people as you eat your meal. The person you least expected it to be - oh god it can’t be - looks up and is just like 'fuck’ and has that expression on their face.

They look around and see you. Their eyes widen at what you’re eating. You’re the only one eating it. You smirk and wave at them because 'haha sucker you laughed when I was teased about my soulmate and it’s you!’

Or one day you turn to your best friend like 'hey, can you see if anyone is eating -’ your eyes widened as you see they’re eating the EXACT MEAL you can taste.

Or a different ending where you follow a celebrity on Instagram and just see a picture of a steak with the caption being 'why the hell do I taste banana and honey… I’m eating a steak!’

And you just drop your toast. Your family stares at you as you squeal. Then you realise 'shit. That could be anyone.’ But you do taste steak… 'But anyone can be eating steak!’ You rush to the kitchen and pull out dark chocolate and go to the bathroom and start brushing your teeth.

Soon you see another picture of a steak and a caption of 'okay, now I’m tasting ANOTHER thing that clashes with my meal. Soulmate, please let me eat in peace… AND WHO HAS DARK CHOCOLATE AND TOOTHPASTE?!?! Will my future babies eat like this too? God save me…’

Something like that.


EDIT: when they kiss there’s this indescribable pure taste. Like angelic and basically the taste description of bliss.

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 4

It’s amazing to see how much we can create together, my amigos. Here’s part 4.

  1. “Look, I might be evil but even I have standards.”
  2. “Do your parents know you’re dating Death?” “No, I promised we wouldn’t get back together after he broke up with me the first time.”
  3. “Wait why am I naked and covered in cheese?”
  4. “Good god, that cake is fuckin stale and dry mate!!” “Just like how you are recently? Gee, thanks.”
  5. "There is always time for a high-five.”
  6. “Karen, what would ever posses you to find me here.”
  7. “Oh my god, put that man down! Come on, let’s go get you some REAL food.”
  8. “A demonic sugar glider?”
  9. “People always say they never thought they would be here but I absolutely did.”
  10. “And I thought I was a bit weird. But you! You are insane!”
  11. “So your hair knows kung-fu? Ha, that’s nothing! MY hair knows HAIR-ATE!” (You know, as in karate) (This used to be an insider between me and a friend…)
  12. “One day, darling, you and I are going to conquer the Universe not just our world.”
  13. “Did you seriously think they wouldn’t notice when their humans went missing?!”
  14. “Well, maybe next time you should consider that not everyone wants to be woken up at four in the morning by a- what IS that, anyway?!”
  15. “Now, how exactly did your foot get stuck in the barrel?”
  16. “I hope you realize what you’re doing. This forest never ends, you know that, right?”
  17. “You can’t just kill someone and then make it all better by saying sorry!”
  18. “Why the fuck is my cat levitating?!” “He said he wanted to feel what flying was”
  19. “You’re trying to tell me you killed three men…with a microphone?”
  20. “Hang on, are you a John Wick fan?”
  21. “IT’S TWO IN THE MORNING!” “And?” “ I have a strict no murder rule until eight. Call me then.”
  22. “I did realize you were going to be naked the whole time”
  23. “Ok, I understand you like animals, but you can’t just bring a tiger into the apparent without asking!”
  24. “I…I didn’t want you to find out like this. I’m so sorry.”
  25. “OH MY GOD CATHERINE! I JUST SAW A NARWHAL! I’M TELLING YOU, I SAW A FREAKIN’ WHALE UNICORN!”
  26. “I gotta go, I left my toaster in the oven!
  27. "Why is there a gaggle of fancy buisness men on my front lawn?”
  28. “Can you please stop referring to me as ____! That’s not my name!” “Then what is?” “I don’t know!”
  29. *Sarcastic* “Yeah, sure. I won’t at all mind being your footslave.” “Oh, goody! I knew you’d agree!” “Wait, what?”
  30. “When are you going to give up on this whole ‘evil’ thing?” “When it stops being so much fun!”
  31. “You didnt say to KILL the man!” “WELL I DIDNT SAY NOT TOO”
  32. “Mum, Dad… I’m gay.” “That’s nice, honey, but now is not the right time!”
  33. “Take a look at your soul and consider your life choices! Oh wait, that’s right! You don’t fucking have a soul!” “Oh, god, just go drown in a bathtub of syrup why don’t ya?”
  34. “I kindly ask you to please quit making your heart stop. It’s creeping me out!” “So… Y-You were sleeping in a coffin” “Yeah I’m used to it” “Are you a vampire or what?! How can someone get used to sleep in a coffin?” “No I’m used to sleep I never said that I’m used to sleep in a freaking coffin!”
  35. “Darling I love you, more than I can ever express in words…. But please stop teaching chickens necromancy.”
  36. “I wanted to know why you stole souls, not your melodramatic backstory…”
  37. “I really wish that old white man would stop rubbing his nipples at me”
  38. “You know it is written: Do not summon Satan, right ?”
  39. “Look around, what is this?” “My room?” “No, this is pathetic.”
  40. “I’ve been a professor for 20 years, and yet still my greatest secret hasn’t been revealed–I can’t read.”
  41. “Our souls don’t belong in these 'human’ bodies, every one of us is implanted here from another galaxy, and this has been the case for a thousand years. No one knows what 'actual humans’ are like without us inhabiting them.”
  42. “Did you just create a portal in time and space to pull another version of yourself into this world so I have to deal with another annoying idiot?” “No but thanks for the idea.”
  43. “You’re bleeding?!” “Nah, I’m frolicing in a field of flowers - yes I’m bleeding!”
  44. “Let me get this straight. I tell you that I make a decent omelette and you somehow equate that to qualification for piloting a spaceship?”
  45. “It’s the weekend! Let’s hit the town! See a concert, redo our wardrobes, get high, start a crime ring, I don’t know.”
  46. “Keep running, you’ve only got 4HP!”
  47. “This is clearly your first time. Stop screaming already, you’ll wake the neighbors!”
  48. “Has anyone seen the outdoors?” “What the fuck is an outdoors?”
  49. “Why do I feel like this again, I thought we were done with this?”
  50. “Look, as much as I like to hang out with you, I’ve gotta go and save the earth. Toodles!”
  51. “Have you seen?… oh shit”
  52. “Two questions: one, how many matches do you have, and two, where do you keep your socks?”
  53. “Because fuck surveys, that’s why!”
  54. “Stop yelling out the window or the koalas will rip your face off!”
  55. “I guess when I heard 'Night of Debauchery’… I didn’t picture muffins on your pajamas.”
  56. “Honey, you can’t keep throwing people to the pit of pain and despair just because they don’t like choc mint ice cream.”
  57. “Oh, no honey, put that back…”
  58. “It’s going to be too late, you know. It’s always too late.”
  59. “Hey, so, uh… I’m in trouble…” “What did you do this time?” “I got stranded in Wales….. again…”
  60. “OK, but… how do we get the dog out of a hole in space in time exactly?”
  61. “Aren’t people supposed to grow instead of shrink ?”
  62. “Wait. You’re aroused?” “Why would that surprise you?” “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  63. "I pay your taxes”
  64. “No, ____. We did not raise our hamster like this.”
  65. “You can’t run from your own shadow(s), what makes you think you can run from theirs?”
  66. “You adopted… a dog?” “Mate, that’s not a dog.”
  67. “And at this moment, he decided to punch himself in the face.” “Narrator, listen, I know you’ve been with me my whole life, but you’re a huge jerk.”
  68. “Why didn’t you tell me it was a portal BEFORE we ended up here?”
  69. “Is that…the Mona Lisa.” “…Yes…” “What did I say to you about stealing priceless artifacts!?” “…That I had to take you with me next time.” “Exactly!”
  70. “Yes, I agree, magic is pretty cool. But did you really have to use it for THIS?”
  71. “Despite the fact that was epic, you’re still suspended”
  72. “Chill, dad it’s not what you think it is!” “Well it looks like you’re making out with the demon your grandma banished to cellar…WHY IS HE IN YOUR ROOM?”
  73. “If you truly love me you’ll let me-OH FUCKING HELL DID YOU JUST STAB ME!?”
  74. “Spoon”
  75. “What began as a conflict over the transfer of consciousness from flesh to machines escalated into a war which has decimated a Million worlds.The ___ and the ___ have all but exhausted the the resources of a galaxy in their struggle for domination. Both sides, now crippled beyond repair, the remnants of their armies continue to battle on ravaged planets, their hatred fueled by over four thousand years of total war. This is a fight to the death. For each side, the only acceptable outcome is…“
  76. ”… I’m going back to bed. You brought it here, you can deal with the mammoth yourself.“
  77. "Is the food supposed to be moving?”
  78. “You mean to tell me that in the two minutes I was gone,  you bombed a minor country,  got married to a stripper,  and assassinated a world leader?!”
  79. “Is that a unicorn???? EATING MY BEEF JERKY?!”
  80. “Do I get to dream about you again tonight?”
  81. “Well now I have to change clothes AGAIN!”
  82. “All of this was because of a… OF A PLUSHIE?!” “Well…Yeah?” “Great, how are we going to get out of jail now?!”
  83. “So…you gonna tell me why my brother is upside down and why you’re wearing my purple thong?”
  84. “Did you really have to burn down another Cracker Barrel?”
  85. “Sir, that’s impossible, you can’t do that.” “IS THAT A FUCKING CHALLENGE?!?!”
  86. “We need to invade Portugal.” “…Sure, why not?”
  87. “Did you divide by zero?! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL”
  88. “Stand down, Milady, this is a matter between gentlemen with mustaches.”
  89. “Next time you get arrested I am NOT paying your bail” “That’s a lie and you know it.” “….”
  90. “I thought you were dead.” “So did I”
  91. “John dont flush the dog down the toilet”
  92. “What did I say again about resurrecting dictators??”
  93. “Cucumbers are NOT pets… what do you mean, you ate him??”
  94. “Are you and God seriously fighting right now? And what happened to Satan?”
  95. “Are ferrets supposed to be blue??”
  96. “I’m the protagonist? Well I guess that explains why I look like about a thousand other people.”
  97. “Why do I do this to myself?”
  98. “Stop eating your tortilla chips with ketchup. It’s unattractive.”
  99. “How do you eat an entire cheese wheel in one sitting?”
  100. “Why are God and Satan moving in with us?”

Let’s make one more ‘100 Dialogue Prompts’ list together. Leave a comment with your prompt below. Don’t forget the double quotes “”. And as always, only one prompt per amigo! Also, here is your random Dutch word of the day: pindakaas

Out Of Context Critical Role Sentence Starters

“Seventeen! Puke on those fucking guards!“ 

 "I would like to buy your hair for a hundred gold pieces." 

 "You can’t walk off in the middle of hide-and-seek again! I’ve been in a barrel for an hour, I fell asleep in there!" 

 "I am a little evil magnet." 

 "Do you want to do a reach-around and see if you get a handful of wooden boob?" 

 "I show him my ass and I leave." 

 "I once saw him kill a man with his taint." 

 "I covered my hand in ink and, yeah…" 

 "My name is Burt Reynolds and that offends me." 

 "Your hands are just covered in piss now." 

 "I bury my shame." 

 "Don’t worry, I still have my lips." 

 "You realize that I was born to shove things in holes…" 

 "Vomit on those bitches." 

 "I’m the most wicked narwhal of all time!" 

 "Some people have no sense of FUCKING HONOR." 

 "You’ll leave when Burt Reynolds tells you to leave." 

 "Remember that time you killed a kid?" 

 "Turn around 180 degrees then run as fast as you can." 

 "I’m just sitting in the corner going HAHAHAHAHAA!" 

"The butt flap is down." 

 "It’s not sexual at all, I’m not attracted to you! Like literally if it happened I would be ill." 

 "Alright, I’ll whip it out again." 

 "Hey, _____. How much XP would _____ get for drowning an entire cargo hold of slave children?" 

 "What’s the term for when your penis is inverted?" 

 "Roses are red, violets are blue. We’re both gnomes and you are sooooo foxy.”

 "He smells of sandalwood. And dismissiveness.“ 

 "And my thoughts are still fuck you, no way, bye-bye." 

 "You’re right! He is no hollaback gnome." 

 "We don’t do anything with dignity!”

 ”_____’s lifeless corpse has a pool of urine around it.“ 

 "Nobody sweating more than is…you know necessary when being threatened by a big fuck-off dragon.“ 

 "Hit him in the arse!" 

 "Most of what I do is long and hard." 

 "I just got one of those terrible ideas I get on occasion." 

 "I died as I lived. Hard." 

 "I’m gonna dominate the guy in front." 

 "YOUR SOUL IS FORFEIT." 

 "Fancy fancy mustache that you cannot wipe off your face!" 

 "Hey, look! I found a hole!" 

 "Oh! I got hit with his dick!" 

 "I’ll just punch him in his dragon face." 

 "I’m going to stand over here and fail to stay in character." 

 "Nothing can go wrong. This is a great idea!" 

 "He was trying to corrupt my soul or whatever…but good luck with that." 

 "You were like a dick in a box." 

 "This probably isn’t a good idea but…whatever." 

 "Will you come check this hatch for boobies?”

Seeking Paintings | Draco Malfoy x Reader

Summary: You, a muggle-born artist, have been hiding your feelings for Draco Malfoy for years now. Though, after an unplanned meeting in the astronomy tower things between the two of you start to change. Even more so after finding each other in the Room or Requirement.

Word Count: 3,573

Warnings: None

Disclaimer: not my gif credit to owner


You stare out into the vast horizon from the astronomy tower. This was your favorite hideout during your free period. You much rather enjoyed the view when it was light outside. Sure you love astronomy class and looking up at the stars but this was just different. Better.

You pulled out your old, hard-cover, weather-beaten sketch book and began to draw the landscape before you. You made sure to grasp and add every detail to your drawing. You began shading in the sunset when you heard a voice behind you.

“What are you doing here?” He asked in a rotten tone and you already knew who it was.

“You don’t own the astronomy tower, Draco,” you say blandly while continuing your work.

“You know this is were I go in my spare time,” you hear him huff.

“I know,” you blush, hoping he doesn’t know that besides the view one of your favorite part of this spot is that it’s that it’s his spot too. Then again, how would he even know that, it’s not like you two are exactly close.

You hear him start to walk away and your heart sinks. Just once you’d like him to stay up here when you’re here. Maybe then, you too could become close. You’d had this battle with having a crush on Draco since first year. Now here you are, sixth year and the most interaction between you two is fighting over the astronomy tower.

“You know you can stay right?” You boldly say. You swallow hard when you hear him stop in his tracks.

You hear his footsteps begin again but this time coming back towards you.

He sits a few feet from you, “Just don’t expect me to talk to you.”

You just smile and shake your head continuing to look down at your sketch book. For a few minutes you two stay like this, you drawing, him (probably) thinking. You wonder what could be going on in his head, he seemed to be thinking pretty deeply.

You feel him inching towards you at a snail’s pace, from the corner of your eye you can see him watching you draw everything from here to the horizon. You hate yourself for the blush creeping up on your face, by the time he’s within a foot of you your face is bright red.

“Why are you blushing?” You look up at him and see he’s smiling, a genuine smile.

Because I’ve been hiding my massive crush on you for nearly six years.

“I just get embarrassed at people watching me work,” you shrug.

“Why?” He asks seeming genuinely interested. “You’re really good.”

“Thanks,” you’re blush gets even deeper.

You break eye contact and look back down at your sketchbook. The rest of the period is made up with you finishing your sketch and Draco watching intently. He’s completely mesmerized at how you can just see an image and recreate it perfectly on your page.


It’s Saturday and you aren’t needed nor expected anywhere, which is why Saturdays are your favorite days. You usually spent these days roaming around looking for inspiration for a new art piece. Which is exactly how you plan to start today.

You roam the school grounds aimlessly, constantly moving your head around to grasp every aspect of the school. You step into the one of the many courtyards and feel inspired to sketch it, until you realize you’ve already done that… Ten times…

You sigh and realize that after six years of constantly working in the same space it’s going to be hard to find a completely new area for your art. Just this year and the following before you can finally start travelling and finding more inspiration worldwide.

In your attempts to find a new spot you’re again not looking forward. causing you to slam right into someone.

“Hey, watch where- oh, hey Y/N,” you hear Draco’s voice quickly turn from intimidation to delight.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention,” you ramble.

“Don’t worry about it,” he laughs at how cute he thinks you are when you ramble.

A blush creeps onto your face, “Well, I best be going.” As you turn to walk away he grabs your wrist and turns you back to face him.

“Hey, are you going to the Quidditch match today?” He inquires.

“Um I wasn’t really planning on it,” you scratch the back of your neck.

“Oh,” his face slightly falls. “Well, I’d like it if you went,” he says his cheeks turning slightly pink. “Even though you’d be rooting for Y/H and not Slytherin,” he looks at the ground.

“I mean I probably should go, it's sixth year and I haven’t gone to a single match,” you shrug and he looks at you dumbfounded.

“Not a single match? Well, you definitely have to go now,” he laughs and so do you.

“Well, I guess you can count on me being there,” you say before turning and walking away. You look over your shoulder, “And I guess I can root for Slytherin just this once,” you wink and quickly face forward as your face turns crimson red. A crazy amount of adrenaline must’ve been rushing through you for having the courage to wink at Draco Malfoy.


You take a seat in Y/H’s section for the Quidditch match, all your housemates do a double take when they see you arrive. Which were followed by ‘finally’, 'it’s about time’, 'I didn’t even know you knew how to get here’ and more sayings around those lines.

You don’t know to much about Quidditch, especially since you’re a muggle-born. Not that you know much about muggle sports either. Your friends have explained the game to you many times, you got the logistics but you just didn’t know why it was such a big deal. Maybe you’ll actually figure it out through watching a match.


Draco rose up into the air on his broomstick to prepare for the start of the game. On his way up he scanned the crowd for you and a smile creeps onto his face when he sees you sitting in Y/H’s section. He can tell you look slightly out of place in the stands and is glad to see you actually showed up. He keeps up the hope that you’re actually here for him.

He has been trying to convince himself since second year that he doesn’t have feelings for you. That he could never have feelings for a muggle-born. Except as he’s grown older through his school years he’s realized that muggle-borns aren’t that bad. He’s realized he was just told to think that way, not that he actually believed it.

He’s pulled out of his thoughts by the blow of the whistle signaling the beginning of the game. Slytherin immediately takes hold of the Quaffle and manages to score within the first minute. A chorus of boos and angered shouts comes from Y/H’s section. Draco looks over to see you remaining silent among your peers. He smiles, hoping you may be rooting for Slytherin…for him…silently. Even if you’re not, at least you aren’t booing.

Draco circles around the field, scanning for the snitch. He’d be lying to say that he wasn’t losing his interest in Quidditch, squinting into the distance searching for a flying ball of gold gets boring after awhile. Of course, he didn’t know if the sport itself was actually starting to bore him or the stress recently rested upon him was making him lose interest in the things he loves. Apparently stress can do that. 

He sees a flicker of gold in the distance, shocked at how early on he’s spotted it he doesn’t fully believe he saw it. That is until he sees the seeker for Y/H dive in the direction of the flash of gold. He quickly follows and the two chase after the golden blur, neck and neck. Draco shoves the other seeker, causing him to spin off course and leaving Draco to be the only one in pursuit of the snitch.

He’s extremely close, he takes a hand off his broom and reaches towards the snitch. He feels cold metal on the pads of his fingers, he just needs to get a grip around it. Almost…

Wham!

He’s nearly knocked off his broom as pain seers through his ribcage. He got hit with a bludger milliseconds before he could grab the snitch. He holds a hand over his ribcage and groans in pain. He rises back into the air to find he’s near Y/H’s section. He looks over at you and you mouth to him, 'Are you okay?’. He nods and manages to give you a faint smile as reassurance.

When he starts to move upward he hears many whispers, “Did Draco Malfoy the Draco Malfoy just smile?”, “Did he smile at you, Y/N?”, “Is there something going on between you two?”, and things of that nature.

He looks back in your direction to see your cheeks turning pink while multiple people start to question you. Though more importantly he sees a smile on your face at the thought of people thinking something is going on between the two of you.

Suddenly, his interest for Quidditch returns. Except rather than loving the sport, wanting to be the best, and move towards winning the House Championships, his goal and motivation to win comes from you. He wants to impress you, and suddenly he finds himself squinting at the field and scanning it as if his life depended on it.

Ten minutes pass with no sign of the snitch. Y/H is currently in the lead, sixty-twenty. Draco continues to scan the field, keeping an eye on the other seeker to see if they look to be in pursuit. He finds himself glancing over at you often as well, trying to make sure you aren’t growing bored. Good thing he’s doing this because it is when he shifts his eyes to you that he spots the snitch once again.

This time determined to get he speeds off in the directions of the flicker of gold. He soon gets close enough that the snitch is hardly a blur anymore. He stretches out his arm when he feels someone bump his side, not strong enough to knock him off his path though. It’s Y/H’s seeker, Draco gives them a menacing stare before turning his eyes back to the snitch. The two race around the field with their arms reaching towards the snitch, they’re neck and neck. Draco, determined to win, jerks his hand out so roughly he fears he might’ve dislocated his shoulder. It would be worth it though, he feels his hand close around the snitch.

He slows down and waves the snitch above his head, wearing a proud smile. The rest of the Slytherin team flies over to congratulate him. He hardly notices their presence as he starts to look for you, to see your reaction. His smile fell, you weren’t in the spot you had previously been in. You weren’t anywhere to be seen.

A look of disappointment washes over Draco’s face as he moves back to the ground. Where did you go? Why did you leave? Did you just not care enough to stay? Did you leave because Slytherin won? Was it foolish of him to think you were here for him? He was disappointed that he ever let that thought into his head.


The rest of the Slytherins were celebrating in their common room, but Draco was in no mood for a party. Though every time he tried to move towards the dorms one of his friends would pull him back to the center of the crowd.

“Dude, what up with you,” Blaise leans onto Draco. “You know you can’t vanish from a party after a win.”

Vanish.

He hadn’t been to the room of requirement in ages. If he was already disappointed with himself he might as well make it even worse by working on that cabinet.

“I actually have to go do something,” Draco mutters before peeling away from the crowd, this time being successful.

He begins the journey from the dungeons all the way to the seventh floor, left corridor. Constantly, he finds himself dodging behind corners at the sight or sound of a teacher. When he makes it to the entrance of the Room of Requirement unscathed he begins to pace and think deeply about what he needs.

I really need to work on this cabinet. If I don’t fix it in time I’ll probably get myself and my family killed. To work on this cabinet though I’m really going to need some privacy. No one else should be able to go in or out. I really just need to be alone, even though I’d rather be talking to Y/N, figuring out why she left the natch early… But I really need to go work on this cabinet in private.

He thinks to himself, allowing him access to the room. He steps inside and begins to make his way to the vanishing cabinet. He examines a feather from the last time when he used that cabinet on a small bird. He begins to realize it’s spending days on end staring at this cabinet that he truly begins to hate what he’s become. He knows he had no choice, it makes him hate all those who did. All who didn’t have people pressuring him to be evil. To kill or be killed. It makes him hate all those who had good people in his life.

He just wanted one good person in his life, he needed one good person in his life.

Where am I going to find a good person who wants to be in my life?

He’s pulled out of his thoughts when he hears a crash from somewhere in the room, faint whispering follows. Someone else is in here.

He draws his wand from his pocket, becoming extremely alert. He swallows hard, the last thing he needs is to be caught in here. He slowly moves towards the sound of the crash, pashing piles and piles of randomized objects. The faint whisper becomes a distinct mutter, a girl’s mutter.

He jumps out from behind the last pile of things before him and the unknown girl and raises his wand. However, he immediately lowers it at the sight before him.

“Y/N?” He questions putting his wand back in his pocket.

You look up at him and gulp. You are kneeling on the ground in front of a puddle of spilt paint to the side of a canvas. Your face turning a bright red to match the paint covering the floor.

“Draco,” you say wide-eyed. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” he tuts.

“Well, I needed a canvas and some oils,” you shrug. “So, I went to the room that would supply me with my needs.

"Well, I needed privacy as in no one else being in here,” he says coming off more hostile than he wants to be towards you.

“Maybe you don’t know what you’re actually needs are,” you look down at the ground, saddened at his hostility towards you. Just when you were beginning to think he could actually like you, how silly.

He remembers what he was just thinking about. Where am I going to find a good person who wants to be in my life? “Maybe you’re right,” he admits.

You look up at him and try to suppress any thoughts of him needing you from your head. You look back down at your paint puddle and go back to cleaning.

“You know there’s this thing called magic,” he chuckles before pulling out his wand. After giving it a little flick all the paint moves back into the container.

You tut before letting out a muffled thanks and standing back up. A slight frown forms on your face as you dip your paintbrush into your now unspilt paint and get back to working on your canvas.

“I thought you’d be a little more thankful,” Draco raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t like to mix magic and art,” you huff.

“How come?” he presses on, sounding as though he genuinely cares.

You sigh, not sure if you’re completely comfortable about divulging your childhood to Draco, your muggle childhood. If you even wanted to dream about having a chance with him you figured it wouldn’t be best to remind him you’re muggle-born. However, he’s expecting an answer and you only have the truth.

“It just when I was younger I was told I had a gift when it came to art,” you sigh. “They said my art made my talent seem like magic,” you smile at the memories. “I guess I wanted to keep it all down to talent not literal magic,” you shrug,

“Oh,” is all he has to say. “Well, can I see what you’re painting?”

At that you freeze, brush in midair dripping paint onto the ground. You swallow hard and your face becomes a deeper red than Draco, or anyone has ever seen you as. You slowly turn your near paralyzed head to look at him wide-eyed, You do not even want to imagine Draco’s reaction to your current work, yet alone see or hear it in reality.

He chuckles, “I’ll take that as a no.” You slightly nod and turn back to your work. “If I can’t look at it can you at least tell me what it is?” Your face is burning at this point, it feels so hot you fear you may need to go down to the hospital wing.

He appears next to you and you nearly choke on the lump forming in your throat. You set your brush down and timidly turn your head to look at him. You get a side view of his head, slightly tilted with a flattered expression resting on his face.

“Is that me?” He smiles brightly and you swallow hard.

“Is that weird?” You timidly ask.

He turns his head to look down at you, a smile still plastered on his face. “Not at all.”

He looks back to examine the painting even deeper as you rock on your heels as an anxious tick. The painting is a site you captured in your head at the match. Draco with his hand outstretched towards a golden blur, you seeker right at his heels. You painted the world around them as a fuzzy haze to show they were moving at top speeds. In the background one could distinguish the field, goalposts, stadium full of students, as well as the other players flying about.

“Is this why you left the match early?”

“Yeah, I just got the idea and rushed here to go and paint it,” you shrug. Then, you fully process what he just said. “You noticed I left?” Your eyebrows knit together and you move your gaze to him.

“Of course,” he says looking at you. “I did it for you,” he states. “I woke up this morning and the last thing I wanted to do was go looking for a golden blur. Then, I remembered you said I could count on you being there and I knew I had to play.” You open your mouth to speak but no words come out, so Draco continues. “I was planning on inviting you to the after party as my date but you weren’t there,” he shrugs. He’s trying to play it cool but truly he heart is beating a mile a minute. He was not intended to profess his love for you but before he could stop himself the words were slipping from his mouth.

“D-date?”

“Yeah, is it so weird for me to take the girl I’ve liked since second year to be my date?” There’s no going back now. It’s out, the secret is out. Draco Malfoy has feelings for Y/N Y/L/N.

He waits for you to say something, anything. He heart is racing and his cheeks are turning pink. He hopes you’ll say you feel the same but you just stay silent.

Your mouth hangs agape, you can’t believe what you’re hearing. “You’ve liked me since second year?”

“Is that weird?” He timidly asks as you did previously.

“N-not at all,” you smile wider than ever, your face only turning slightly pink. “I mean I’ve liked you since first year.” You see his eyes light up at that, he looks as if this is exactly what he needs to hear.

You two stay silent for a moment, gazing into each others eyes. Both of you wondering what to do next. His eyes slowly move down to your lips, linger for a second, then dart back to your eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” He breathes out so quietly you barely hear.

You nod and try to suppress the butterflies in your stomach. He takes a step closer to you and lightly grips your elbows. He pulls you close and stares deep into your eyes. He starts to lean in as do you, both closing your eyes. His lips gently connect to yours. He softly moves his lips against yours, his hands moving down to your waist as yours get tangled in his hair. Neither of you pull away until you both are gasping for air.

“So did you win?” You giggle once you’ve caught your breath.

“I have now.”

Keeping up with the Batfamily.

———————————–


Bruce: Hey look someone sent us a free memberships.


Damian: *sarcasticly* thank god, you would’ve never been able to afford that.


Tim: *spits out coffee*


———————————–


Tim: *closes the door in Jason’s face.*


Jason: *stops the door from closing and takes off his leather jacket.* Don’t be fucking rude. *Starts to hit Tim with it.*


Dick: Are you kidding me!? Oh my gosh.


Tim: stoooopp!


———————————–


Bruce: did you guys know I’m, like, the number one google search last week?


Damian: do you also know that you’re number two on the dumbest people.


———————————–


Dick: *starts jogging*


Barbara: your ass is so large I don’t know how you can even run.


———————————-

2

I got a call from Ali Adler and Andrew Kreisberg, and they were saying, “Hey, we’d really love for you to come in and sit down so we can talk creative with you.” I was like, “Oh, okay, I didn’t realize we were going to do that, that’s great!” I was sitting in their office, and all of a sudden, they’re like, “So, we want to just tell you what we’re thinking, what we’re going to do, and wanted to get your take on it.” They had this funny little smile on their face, I’m like, “What’s going on?” They’re like, “Well, so this season, Alex is gay.” I was like, “Oh, what?” They just went into the whole story, explaining the why behind the what, and that it’s not like this thing that all of a sudden is just spilling out, it’s a discovery for her. That’s how we wanted to approach it. You have so many stories — shows and movies — where people are already established as gay, lesbian, bi[sexual]; these are people who are coming in like that. This was a great opportunity to show somebody who’s figuring it out, the light bulb moment and putting the puzzle pieces together.

When they were explaining it to me, I was like, “Wow, I wouldn’t have thought it,” because last season you just didn’t really see any of that side of Alex. When they originally said, “Hey, we’re thinking about a love interest,” but they didn’t say what the whole thing was, I was almost like, “Oh, I don’t know if we should do that yet,” because I don’t want it to become about Alex in a relationship, where we don’t get to see enough about her discovering more about who she is because so much of it was hidden last season. Then when they started to explain the whole idea, at first I was kind of taken back a little bit, not in a negative way, but just going, “Oh, okay.” Then the weight of it hit me, thinking, “Oooh, okay, we need to really, really do justice to this in a really beautiful way.” It was right around the time of the Orlando shooting, and I just all of a sudden was hit with this weight, because I knew that then I was going to be a face for the LGBT community, and I was like, “I gotta get this right. I don’t want to go out there and say one thing and then do something else. I just want to make sure that this is very respectful and tasteful and being done with sensitivity.

read more on EW.

Humans and adaptability

For reals though, humans are ridiculously adaptable. Half the time instead of just fixing something, we go out out of our way to change our behavior to avoid dealing the dang thing.

My door swells during the winter. It has since I was around eight. Instead of figuring out how to fix it, I just kick my door extra hard to get it open.

When my sister’s laptop was starting to go south, it wouldn’t completely start up, but the mouse would do this weird thing and then she always knew to do a hard restart to get it to boot up.

I’ve heard that Stephen Hawking was so used to predicting his predict text that when it got upgraded it messed him up.

There’s that one scene in Mary Poppins and a vague mirror of that scene in the Doctor Who Pompeii episode where the house quakes regularly and everyone just takes up their stations to keep things from falling over and breaking.

Humans are nuts.


Menah-Tal clicked an old chant of his people under his breath while running the usual efficiency tests. It shouldn’t take too long, then he’d be able to-

He blinked his three eyes in surprise and ran the numbers again.

They came back the same. There was a whole seven deneb discrepancy from the normal parameters. Menah-Tal snorted. So much for his poetry slam in the rec room.

Menah-Tal traced the discrepancy to Brett’s station in engineering. He blinked. Surely Brett couldn’t be so blind as to let his station be out of alignment. He snorted crossly again.

Brett was at his station when Menah-Tal walked into engineering.

“Brett, your station is out of alignment, making it seven deneb slower from the rest of engineering. How could you let such a discrepancy happen?”

Brett looked up.

“Oh that’s probably my interface. My panel’s been acting up a bit lately. I’ve been thinking about replacing it. Maybe on the weekend-”

“But seven whole deneb …” spluttered Menah-Tal.

Brett shrugged.

“Sorry dude, I kept forgetting. Hey it’s not like it’s completely non-functional-”

As he spoke his panel glitched. Brett hit it with his fist and it unfroze.

“It’s fine.” he said in response to Menah-Tal’s face. Menah-Tal looked like he was about to have an aneurysm.

Menah-Tal reverted to his native Makjai Temas as he left engineering swearing viciously about the “impossible humans.”


Edit: I had two people point out that parsecs are in fact, not a measure of time. Thanks for keeping me on my toes, guys.

Make that three.

Who Is It? (Tony X Daughter!Reader)

Characters: Tony X Daughter!Reader, Peter x Fem!Reader

Universe: Marvel, Avengers

Warnings: None

HUMOUR

Request: I love your Tony Starks daughter stuff! Can you write one where the avengers come back from a mission to avengers tower and Tonys daughter is sitting in the living room being like ‘hey I hacked into your system 'cause I’m your super smart daughter and have no where else to go’ and Tony starts to get really protectiv over her. And then finds out that she is falling in love with Peter, but Tony is basically the last one to find out? Sorry, that kinda got long ^^ I love the way you write btw :)


Originally posted by fymarveluniverse

Feeling the jet land let the Avengers take a sigh of relief. Another mission a success. They all hurried out of their uniforms and into the tower, hoping to put on a good movie, eat some snacks, and take a well-deserved nap.

However, walking in to the main room, they saw you on the couch with your phone in hand, looking bored. “Y/N?” Your dad, Tony called.

Keep reading

Cookies (M)

Originally posted by wonhontology

Wonho x Reader

Warnings: SMUT. Face riding, slight spanking, dirty talk,

Word Count: 3,035

Summary:  You’re new in the neighbourhood, and decide to be a good person and go introduce yourself to your neighbours. Turns out that was a bad idea.

A/N: This is my fic. I’m re-posting onto my sideblog.


Being the new girl was tough. It was tough in high school, it was tough at a new job, and it’s still tough on moving day. You had just moved downtown into a cute apartment on the 10th floor of a pretty nice building. You loved being so close to everything, and the view you had made the hassle of moving up here worth it. You were still unfamiliar with your neighbours and neighbourhood, having only moved in a week ago. You took the opportunity a rare day off gave you to walk around and explore, as well as introduce yourself (finally). Baking wasn’t your strongest skill, but you tried, and made some cookies to take to your neighbours. You were glad you had taken this chance to introduce yourself, as everyone you met seemed friendly and kind.

Until you met 10A.

10A was the guy that resided in the apartment next to yours; he was relatively quiet, so you didn’t know what to expect. You knocked on the door and waited for the owner to open it, and when he did, you regretted doing this ‘introducing-yourself-to-your-neighbours-to-be-nice’ bullshit in the first place.

He was beautiful, and he was in nothing but a towel. His milky white skin still glistening with water even in the harsh lighting of the hallway, his damp bleach blond hair that begged to be touched, wide brown eyes that made him look both cute and sexy, and plump, pouty pink lips that made you want to bite them until they bruised, his toned chest and stomach that made you want a peek under that towel, he was too much at once and you were quickly becoming a flustered mess. Your eyes travelled back up only to see him staring back at you, eyebrow raised, head cocked to the side, and a smirk plastered on his face.

“You gonna tell me what you’re here for or are you gonna just keep staring, baby?” he smirked. You rolled your eyes, your earlier lust filled thoughts were shattered by the conceited remark.

Keep reading

Aries: Told You So

I know you like
When I admit that I was wrong and you were right
At least I try
To keep my cool when I’m thrown into a fire
And they go

I hate to say I told you so
But they love to say they told me so
I hate to say I told you so
They love to say they told me

Taurus: Hard Times

All that I want
Is to wake up fine
Tell me that I’m alright
That I ain’t gonna die
All that I want
Is a hole in the ground
You can tell me when it’s alright
For me to come out

Hard times
Gonna make you wonder why you even try
Hard times
Gonna take you down and laugh when you cry
These lives
And I still don’t know how I even survive
Hard times

Gemini: 26

Hold onto hope if you got it
Don’t let it go for nobody
They say that dreaming is free
I wouldn’t care what it cost me

Reality will break your heart
Survival will not be the hardest part
It’s keeping all your hopes alive
All the rest of you has died
So let it break your heart

Cancer: Pool

I’m underwater
With no air in my lungs
My eyes are open
I’m done giving up
You are the wave
I could never tame
If I survive
I’ll dive back in

As if the first blood didn’t thrill enough
I went further out to see what else was left of us
Never found the deep end of our little ocean
Drain the fantasy of you
Headfirst into shallow pools

Leo: Idle Worship

Oh, it’s such a long and awful lonely fall
Down from this pedestal that you keep putting me on
What if I fall on my face?
What if I make a mistake?
If it’s okay a little grace would be appreciated
Remember how we used to like ourselves?
What little light that’s left, we need to keep it sacred
I know that you’re afraid to let all the dark escape ya
But we could let the light illuminate these hopeless places

Just let me let you down

Hey, baby I’m not your superhuman
And if that’s what you want
I hate to let you down
I got your hopes up
Now I got you hoping
But I’m gonna be the one that let you down

Virgo: Forgiveness

Don’t you go and get it twisted
Forgiving is not forgetting
Don’t you go and get it twisted
Forgiving is not forgetting
No, it’s not forgetting
No, I’ll never forget it, no

And you, you want forgiveness
(I can barely hang on to myself)
But I, I can’t give you that
(I can’t give you, I can’t give you that)
And you, you want forgiveness
(I’m afraid that I’ll have nothing left)
But I, I just can’t do it yet
(I can’t do, I just can’t do it yet)

Libra: Fake Happy

And if I go out tonight, dress up my fears
You think I’ll look alright with these mascara tears?
See I’m gonna draw my lipstick wider than my mouth
And if the lights are low they’ll never see me frown

If I smile with my teeth
Bet you believe me
If I smile with my teeth
I think I believe me

Oh please don’t ask me how I’ve been
Don’t make me play pretend
Oh no, oh oh what’s the use?
Oh please, I bet everybody here is fake happy too

Scorpio: Grudges

Time is a bastard I won’t break my neck to get around it
But aren’t we so brave to give up a fight
And let the years go by without us
‘Cause now I feel you by my side
And I don’t even care if it’s been a while
I can feel that we’ve changed and we’re better this way

Stop asking why
Why we had to waste so much time
Well, we just pick up, pick up and start again
'Cause we can’t keep holding on to grudges

Sagittarius: No Friend

Another thorny field to scatter fruitless seed,
Another song that runs too long god knows no one needs
More misguided ghosts, more transparent hands
To drop a nickel in our basket and we’ll do our riot!

Dance beneath another burning sky,
Behind our painted lips
In scores of catatonic smile-covered ankle-bitten ships
So throw your pedestal of stone in the forgetful sea
As protection from the paper-thin perfection
You project on me

Capricorn: Tell Me How

Think I’m tired of getting over it
Just starting something new again
I’m getting sick of the beginnings
And always coming to your defences
I guess it’s good to get it off my chest
I guess I can’t believe I haven’t yet
You know I got my own convictions
And they’re stronger than any addiction
But no one’s winning
[…]
You keep me up with your silence
Take me down with your quiet
Of all the weapons you fight with
Your silence is the most violent

Aquarius: Caught in the Middle

I can’t think of getting old
It only makes me want to die
And I can’t think of who I was
'Cause it just makes me want to cry, cry, cry
Can’t look back, can’t look too far ahead
I got the point, I got the message
[…]
I was dreaming life away
All the while just going blind
Can’t see the forest for the trees
Behind the lids of my own eyes
Nostalgia’s cool, but it won’t help me now
A dream is good, if you don’t wear it out
[…]
No, I don’t need no help
I can sabotage me by myself

Pisces: Rose-Colored Boy

Just let me cry a little bit longer
I ain’t gon’ smile if I don’t want to
Hey, man, we all can’t be like you
I wish we were all rose-colored too
My rose-colored boy

Leave me here a little bit longer
I think I wanna stay in the car
I don’t want anybody seeing me cry now
You say “We gotta look on the bright side”
I say “Well maybe if you wanna go blind”
You say my eyes are getting too dark now
But boy, you ain’t ever seen my mind

Imagine your otp
  • Person C: *talking to Person A* "I'm telling you man they like you. "
  • Person B: "Hey guys what's up? "
  • Person A: *turns and kisses Person B right on the lips, turns back to Person C with a smug look* "See I told you-why are making that face? "
  • Person C: *points to a fainted Person B*
  • Person A: "Oh shit*
Send To All - Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Prompt: There’s this comedian called Michael Mcintyre who has a chat show and sometimes plays this game called “send to all” where he takes the guests phone and sends a mass text out then reads the replies out. It’s on you tube and hilarious but anyway i was wondering if you could do something where the reader is an actress on the show and agrees to play and he sends out a flirty text or something like that and she gets a few funny replies from Evans, Fassbender, Macavoy, Cumberbatch and TOM HIDDLESTON
Note: Okay so I went a bit mad with this one and did make a few adjustments, however 99% of it is what was asked for. This one is for the lovely @dohegotthesuperbooty - I’m sorry it took so long (I’m really behind!!) - for anyone who is interested, the video behind this idea can be found here.

Originally posted by letlovebyourenergy


You were stood at the side of the stage awaiting your cue; it was your turn to appear on several British chat shows to promote your new film. You were staring in a new rom-com opposite Tom Hiddleston; the two of you had become very close over the last course of shooting the film, a fact that had purposely been left out of the media.

The show you were appearing on was that of comedian Michael McIntyre. All you could think about was his infamous game of ‘Send to All’. The producers had prepared you for the game; however it was up to the host as to whether or not you would be playing.

From centre stage, you heard Michael call your name. You began to walk over, the crowd went wild. Walking over to your seat, you waved to the audience. Once you reached the spot where Michael was stood, he gave you a friendly hug and welcomed you to the show. The two of you took your seats. Once the crowd had quietened down, he welcomed you to the show once again.
“So, welcome to the show!” He smiled.
“Thank you!” You said with a smile, “Thanks for having me, I’m a big fan of the show but I never thought I’d be sat here!” You exclaimed.

The interview was going extremely well, you were laughing and joking with both the audience and the host. Then he said those words you really didn’t want to hear.
“So we have a bit of a tradition on this show.” Michael began to laugh; everyone knew what he was going to say. “I like to play a lovely little game called ‘Send to All’ with my guests, are you up for a go?”
You started to think, what options did you have? If you were to say no… well, you’d only be forced to play to prove you had nothing to hide.
“Sure!” You said, a little too enthusiastically.
“Excellent!” Michael matched your tone. “The rules are simple, I’m going to come up with a message to send to all of the contacts in your phone and we’re going to leave it over the course of the show and then see who replies!”
“Great, can you just not send it to my mum” you laughed, as did everyone else in the studio.

“Okay, I think I’ve come up with the perfect message” Michael grinned.
“Oh no” you joked as you handed over your phone.
“Here goes…” Michael typed each word as he said it. “Hey, it… feels… like we haven’t seen… each other… in such a long time…” Michael stopped typing and looked over to you, he was giggling at the message he was typing. You on the other hand were using your laughter to disguise how red your face had become. “Why don’t we…” he continued to type “meet up… for a drink… or two?” Michael turned to you once again, “Do you use emoticons?” he asked.
“Probably too much” you responded.
“Excellent, how about little kisses?” he asked.
“Yeah, I guess, just one though. And always lowercase!” you added.
“In that case, I’ll add a little winking face and a kiss!” He looked up and addressed the audience. “Ladies and gentlemen, we have our text message!” The audience cheered. “Okay, here’s the message…” he paused and cleared his throat, “Hey, it feels like we haven’t seen each other in such a long time. Why don’t we meet up for a drink or two [question mark] [winking face] [kiss]” he laughed, as did the audience. You began to laugh but at the same time you were slowly bringing your hands up to your face to once again, cover up how red it was. “What do you think, shall we send to all?!” He asked the audience. They went wild. “It’s gone, sent!” Michael turned back around and walked to his seat to continue your interview.

You spent the rest of the interview trying not to think about the messages currently coming through to your phone. You had just about removed the thought from your mind when Michael said “Right, well there’s just one last piece of business we need to discuss before I let you go.” He paused while the audience reacted. “Let’s read out some of the replies to the text we sent from your phone shall we? Okay so the message we sent read ‘Hey, it feels like we haven’t seen each other in such a long time. Why don’t we meet up for a drink or two [question mark] [winking face] [kiss]’. Wow, okay so you’ve got a fair few replies here!” The audience cheered.
“Better than getting none I suppose” you joked.
“Right, first up we have Chris Evans ladies and gentlemen! Wait, is this Captain America Chris Evans or BBC Radio DJ Chris Evans?” he asked you.
“I don’t think I should answer that until you’ve read the reply,” you laughed “no it’s Captain America Chris Evans” you smiled.
“Well Chris replied with ‘Dude, we aren’t even in the same country right now! Count me in for next time though, we’ll all go out’ how nice is that! But what does he mean by ‘all’?
“Yeah, he’s a good egg!” you smiled, “I’m guessing he just means getting the old gang back together”
“Okay next up is… it looks like you’ve got the number of everyone who’s ever been in a Marvel film here!” the two of you laughed as he continued to look for the next reply. “I think we will go for this one next, James McAvoy.”
“Oh no!” you exclaimed as you brought your hands to your face, “This is going to be a bad one isn’t it!”  
“That depends what it means! It says ‘Are ye sure pal? You know what happened last time!’ then there’s one of those laughing and crying faces. What happened last time?” He questioned you.
You tried to contain the laughter, “nothing, nothing happened last time – at least nothing that you’re all probably thinking anyway! All that happened was a few of us had gone out and had far too much to drink, we all got a taxi and when it was my stop James helped me out of the taxi and then after insisting I was fine… I fell up the steps.” The audience and Michael laughed at your story, you chuckled, after all it had been quite funny.

“Wonderful, we have time for just a few more! Who’s next? ‘Benny C’ is that who I think it is?” you nodded in response. “We have to read this one! It says ‘Sorry not tonight, I’ve got my hands full. However you can both count me in next time!’ At least he’s up for the next time, but what does he mean by both?” he questioned you.
“Well a fair few people know I’m here tonight, he probably just knows it was you” you smiled.
“Hmm,” Michael looked as you quizzically.
“He is Sherlock Holmes after all,” you added “all that detective knowledge has to have rubbed off”
Michael agreed with you and moved on, “Okay, this is the last one now, let’s go for the man himself, your co-star Mr Tom Hiddleston ladies and gentlemen!” The audience cheered, some more excited than others as you heard several women let out high pitched screams.
Your face turned the brightest shade of red possible; you could only hope that he hadn’t said anything that would give the two of you away.
“Let’s see what he has to say shall we,” Michael cleared his throat, “’Darling, we spent six months together making a film and I’ve seen you every night since we got home. Shall I come and pick you up? x T’” Michael took a moment for everyone to process the message he had just read. “Well, well, well! It looks like you were hiding something after all. Anything you want to say?” He asked.
“No, not really” you responded, you could feel yourself getting warmer. You were debating whether or not to address it, although Tom had practically already made that decision for you and left you without a choice. In the end, you decided it was best to talk. “When you shoot a romantic film you spend a lot of time with your co-star and about sixty percent of that time you’re in quite an intimate position.” The redness was starting to disappear from your face, replaced only by a smile that suggested you were happily in love.

“Well ladies and gentlemen, it looks like the show is ending on a lovely note! Thank you to all of tonight’s guests and I’ll see you next week!”


(Part 2)

Don't Get the Shapeshifter Drunk

In my friends homebrew system/campaign, I’m playing an “alien” shapeshifter. In one of our most recent encounters, I decided to see what getting drunk is like.

DM: You feel really confident with a sudden need to show off your powers

Me: Hey everyone! Watch this!

I proceed to turn into a bearshark that my party had an encounter with earlier. The patrons start screaming, and my companion, a troll, tries to stop this nonsense

Me: And that’s not all!

I shift into a larger squid as Troll picks me up and starts dragging me out.

DM: Everyone is still screaming. The bartender is advancing with a knife.

We pass by some old guy on the way out.

Me: Hey you!

I immediately turn into the old guy. He starts screaming.

Me: Didn’t like that? How about this!

I sprout squid arms and bat ears. This causes the man to scream even more as Troll finally drags me out into an alley.

Me: Aw, let me back in there, they love me!

Troll: [in WoW Troll accent] They were terrified. Now you calm down, change back into your base form.

Me: [confused] My…base form?

Troll: Yes, you know, human shaped, pale, dark hair?

Me: Oh yeah, right.

I immediately shift into what he described, except without a face.

DM: Troll, make a con check.

He fails

DM: You fear vomit.

Troll and I then spent several minutes while he tried to remind me what face parts looked like. Later on, when we returned to the party I shifted into another member of our party to mock him, then fell asleep.

voltron vines

keith: how do you know whats good for me?!

shiro: THATS MY OPINION!

—————

matt: throwing a tantrum

pidge: whats wrong??

matt: I LOST MY WEED!

—————

pidge, to allura: i think i know more about american girl doll than YOU do, genius.

—————

lance: WHAT ARE THOSE!

coran, angrily: they are my crocs.

—————

lance: my favorite emo band is big time rush

keith, covering his mouth in shock: oh my god

—————

matt: wheres my girl?

pidge: …i’m your sister?

matt, quietly: come on, i’m trying to do one vine. come on, can’t you just–

—————

lance to keith: country boyy, i love youu.

—————

lotor: oh hi, thanks for checking in. i’m 🎶still a piece of garbage🎶

—————

matt: what are those?!

allura: the-they’re called my sandals.

—————

shiro: hey pass me my keys

keith: throws a printer and it smashes to pieces

shiro: i said my keys

keith: oh i thought you said printer

shiro: why the fuck would i say printer?

—————

lance: tickling keith

keith: get out of my face, now.

lance: continues tickling keith

keith: I SAID GET OUT OF MY FACE!

————-

keith: hey kid want some blades? ;))

pidge: no, blades are for skatin’! you dingus.

—————

lance: hey hunk, look at this face. makes a funny face

hunk: oh my god, lance, i’m gonna pee.

lance: what?

hunk: lance i’m peeing!

lance: HUNKNOTINTHEMERCEDES

—————

hunk: so do you guys like wrap all of your bananas to keep them fresh or something?

matt: what are you talking about

hunk: i had to take it– holds up a condom– i has this little wrapper

—————

shiro: that one friend thats always cold

later

matt: i’m cold

shiro: you’re always cold!

matt:

shiro: but i’ll be damned if your not my friend

—————

shiro: e-excuse me, are you zarkon?

zarkon: haha no

okay i could go on forever im done i need to stop

5

Jordan Parrish x Stilinski!Reader

Requested by Anon

Warnings: Sexual content, NSFW, smut, car sex.
Word count: 1 311

A/N: So I wrote it like Parrish was there when the Darach came the first time.


“Do you need a ride home?” Parrish asked as you walked out from your dad’s office. You had spent your entire day there, being watched since your brother thought the Darach would take you, since you were a virgin.

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Imagine your neighbor, Dean Winchester, getting jealous when he sees a guy leave your house in the morning when your parents are gone on a trip.

“Uh who- who was that exactly kiddo?”

You jumped, turning to face your insanely handsome neighbor standing very close “Oh uh” you laughed nervously “Hey Mr Winchester.” you greeted “Uhm just a friend, we were working on a project for college last night and… yeah.” you trailed off.

“Oh friend?” he raised an eyebrow, clearly annoyed if not something else too “Are you sure about that, (Y/n)? Not like I’m gonna tell your parents but bringing boys when they’re gone is kinda- well, you know.” he made a face and you frowned.

“We just had homework to do, I don’t think they would mind it that much.” you shrugged “Why are you asking though?” you couldn’t stop yourself from asking.

“Oh nothing sweetheart.” he flashed you that smile that made you weak on the knees.

“Really, cause if I didn’t know you any better I’d say you sound a little jealous.” you muttered mostly to yourself, eyes casted down but of course he caught it.

“Just curious is all, (Y/n).” he put his hands in his pockets.

“Curious? About what presicely?”

“What would you want with a boy like him when there are men twice his age than certainly know how to give a woman what she needs.” he said with a casual smirk and shrug, not looking at you, as you gaped at him.

“Doubt he even knows how to please you the right way to begin with.” he added, winking at you as your eyes widened and your face warmed up. 

“See ya, princess.” he said as he smoothly walked the road to his own house.

keyed.

Originally posted by jiminnieseyesmile

3.8k words

members: jungkook, oc - reader

genre: fluff

warnings: language

You were sick and tired of your attractive idiot neighbor blocking your driveway.

a/n: i felt like writing this weekend and this happened surprise surprise. this is what happens when i’m buzzed off of two venti macchiatos please leave me feedback TT


“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

You blocked out the angry voice shouting at you from your neighbors now open door. The hurried footsteps were getting closer but you pretended you didn’t hear, continuing to drag your key along the shiny black BMW blocking your driveway. Before you could reach the back tires a hand grasped your wrist, turning you around to face your irritating neighbor.

“Oh! Hey there, neighbor,” you grinned, innocently eyeing your neighbor head to toe. He was dressed casually with his hair tousled as though he’d just woken up. His jaw was tense as his hands tightly held your wrist, nothing but anger found in his eyes. You weren’t sure of his first name but had seen him a few times in silent passing. He was relatively new to the neighborhood, keeping to himself along with his roommate you caught quick glimpses of as well. The two had moved in a month ago and you kept to yourself as well, not bothering to play nice and whip up a housewarming desert you couldn’t even properly bake. It wasn’t until a week ago that you realized your neighbors weren’t exactly your cup of tea. They had people over constantly whether they were attending their overcrowded house parties, movie nights or simply staying over till the sun came back up. It seemed whenever the two had guests around their parking lot quickly become full, causing a new issue to arrive. You noticed the brunette, tall one seemed to have a kick out of parking right in front of your light blue beetle making it impossible for you to maneuver around his pricey sports car. The parties seemed to hit an all time high and you constantly found yourself trapped in your own driveway. You left sticky notes on his windshield, kindly asking him to stop blocking your spot and occasionally he would but it wouldn’t take long for him to fall back into his routine. It wasn’t until he made you late to your job earning you a lengthy lecture from your boss, that you felt you’d had enough, storming outside to drag your keys along his prized possession.

Your decision making skills weren’t the best when you were angry.

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play pretend || sebastian stan

Summary: What’s more humiliating than bumping into an old frenemy from the past at a grocery store, looking your worst? Luckily, someone comes to your rescue.
Warnings: None.
A/N: I found this laying around in my computer so I added some more to it and decided to post it. Hope you like it! Don’t forget to give me some feedback, much love xoxo

You weren’t pathetic. You were just like any normal adult, going grocery shopping on a Saturday night. It wasn’t like you were going back there just to get a glimpse of the hot guy that you saw roaming around occasionally. Really, if you just happened to see him then that would be a bonus.

That’s what you were trying to tell yourself as you were walking down the deserted cereal aisle. You couldn’t decide what kind of cereal you wanted, currently walking back and forth at a slow pace with a box of Captain Crunch in one hand while running a finger along the Cheerios box. You sighed, wondering why the hell it was so hard in the first place, to just pick a brand and move on with getting the ice cream that you’d been looking forward to all day.

You reached up to pick out the Cheerios, humming while contemplating what your pick would be.

“I’d pick the Captain Crunch if I was you.” An amused voice spoke up from behind, and you whirled around in fright.

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xenavitani  asked:

I’ve been having a rough day and I just found your headcanons and honestly god bless you so much I’ve been dying of laughter for the last 10 mins you’re awesome ❤️ my favorite ones are the Hunk headcanons do you have anymore? *whispers* you rock ma dude

happy birthday hunk!!

  • *hunk voice* “in the face of overwhelming odds, i’m left with only one option: i’m going to have to science the shit out of this”
  • he and keith trade mechanic tips once which is… eye opening
    • keith, thinking: “oh hey this is cool information”
    • hunk, thinking: “oh god oh god he should be dead that bike should have blown up ages ago-”
  • shit: [goes down] hunk: [stressed narration of the shit going down]
  • he and pidge don’t have driver’s permits
  • hunk: “i can’t do this” shiro: “yes you can! i believe in you!” hunk: “that’s really nice of you to say but this engine isn’t going to get fixed by the power of belief shiro-”
  • allura’s current goal: get hunk to teach her his sickass diving elbow drop
  • coran: “what are these little flakes you’ve put on the food?” hunk: “………….do you mean the spices”
  • little kids lowkey stress him out
    • like he thinks they’re adorable! but they’re so small. so small. and fragile. and accident prone-
    • also he doesn’t know what to do when they cry. whenever his sister’s kids started crying he would panic and give them back
    • baby: [sniffles] hunk, reflexively tearing up: “oh no oh no oh no-”
  • lance: “what should i do?” hunk: “oh is this the part where i give you advice and pretend you’re gonna listen to it? that’s cool. i like this part”